CorporetteMoms

Updated: Nov 1, 2018 40 Comments · by

Washable Workwear Wednesday: Short Sleeve Dress

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A woman wearing a Short Sleeve Dress.I’ll admit, I don’t know much about the brand Ming Wang — I think of them mostly as specializing in knit sweater/blazer type of things. Still: not only is this dress washable (and tumble dry!) but it also is wrinkle-resistant. I like the sleeves, the high neckline, and the easy care. (If you prefer longer sleeves and a V-neck, here’s a very similar dress from the same brand, also machine wash/tumble dry/wrinkle resistant.) The pictured dress is $210, available in sizes XS-XL. Ming Wang Short Sleeve Dress (L-2)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything
  • Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs

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Comments

  1. layered bob says

    thanks to those who suggested the combination of a wrap-top dress (like the LE fit-and-flare dress) and demi cami for my summer nursing dress (that is *not* a maternity dress) question – I now have three Second Base demi camis and three LE dresses and that is all I am wearing from here on out :-). Since I wear them with Jockey Skimmies I feel like a walking C 0 r p 0 r 3 t t e comment section.

    • Meg Murry says

      Glad it worked out for you! I also have 3 of the exact same LE dress (only mine are 3/4 sleeve) in blue, black and a pattern, and they are my go-to, works for almost anything dress. I wear them to work functions when I have to rarely dress up, I take them on business trips since they pack well, I wear them when going out to a nice dinner, my black one is my go-to funeral dress, etc. I need to suck it up and spend the money on some demi-camis in the right colors for fall and spring so I’m not wearing 27 layers with cami+skimmies.

      But overall those dresses probably work out to something like $1 cost per wear or less, even with them not being part of my everyday work wardrobe, so they are probably one of my best closet investments.

  2. Prego! says

    Ugh, sorry for the long story here. My husband and I were discussing labor/delivery plans for our first child. I would really like a natural birth, no c-section, and few interventions, and we were talking about how I would really need him to advocate for me and ask questions at every step of the way, since I’m not sure how capable of that I would be when I’m in a lot of pain. But then I said, maybe I should ask my mom, since she might be more comfortable doing that. He got kind of offended, like why couldn’t I do that? And I pointed out that he hates speaking up at restaurants if they get his order wrong, and at a hospital, he would have to be challenging and questioning someone in a position of authority, while I am very clearly in pain- I just don’t think that would be easy to do, and my mom is more assertive and has more experience in hospitals from when my dad was sick. So then I think I did offend him, but I still kind of think I’m right? Obviously I would prefer if it was just him, but if it came down to it, and I really needed him to intervene and he’s not comfortable with it, that would be really upsetting. Or should I look at this as good practice for him advocating him for our future child? Also totally possible I’m not giving him enough credit- he is great at his job, not really considered a pushover, etc. Or am I totally off base on what labor will be like? Obviously neither of us has experienced a birth before. Advice? Thoughts? Commiseration?

    • Anonymous says

      1. This is why you get a doula — so you can have the support you need to have a natural birth, plus so you can have someone support your HUSBAND while he is assertive re: your medical care on your behalf.
      2. This is also why you need to speak with your doctor ahead of time about your birth plan.
      3. This is also also why after your birth, you will laugh with all other moms about how silly a “birth plan” actually is.
      Big hugs, you got this.

      • Clementine says

        +1 for a Doula

        So I had a birth plan, but 90% of it didn’t work out because I was in premature labor with other stuff going on. Multiple nurses laughed and said that for some reason, anytime you had a great birth plan, that’s when everything ended up going the opposite. Maybe I’m superstitious, but I would actually advise you to make more of a birth ‘outline/mental notes’ versus a birth plan.

      • Anon in NYC says

        I’ll echo all of this. My husband’s biggest fear going into labor (second only to worst case scenarios) was how to advocate for me and not necessarily knowing what I wanted if I was unable to articulate it for myself. Like, in his mind, if a doctor told him that a c-section was necessary, he’d just say that that’s what needed to be done because who is he to question the doctor? If you really are concerned, I think a professional (doula) would be a really good option because your husband will feel less displaced.

        Also, talk to your doctor. I had a similar goal (although I was planning on an epidural), and I mentioned to my doctor that I was concerned about an unnecessary episiotomy/c-section and she was reassuring (telling me that basically the practice only performs them if it is absolutely necessary for the baby’s/my health).

      • Anon says

        I forgot to pull my birth plan out of my bag and found it when I unpacked my bag when we got home.

    • Anons says

      Your concerns are completely legitimate, as was his reaction (I think he felt rejected). You should consider bringing in a neutral third party (a doula) so he doesn’t feel rejected in favor of your mom, but you get the support you need. Otherwise, I think you are right that he may have trouble advocating for you, both from his personality and the stress of the situation. For men, it is really hard to “get” the birth experience, and he will be very concerned for you and the baby during labor.

      Other thoughts: Would he listen to select episodes of The Longest Shortest Time Podcast or read some birth stories with you so that he has a better understanding of your concerns? Birthing experiences are very unique and he may not truly understand your worries. Also, have you chosen a hospital and provider with a good track record for natural deliveries (this is probably way more important than your husband’s support–the C section rate should be around 10%–go elsewhere , if you can, if it is above 30%–you want to be able to trust your provider if they say that natural isn’t going to work for you]. You can also teach your husband talking points so he has specific ways to support you. Some key phrases: “Can we wait [5, 10, 30] minutes and then reasses? What are the risks of [this intervention]? What are the risks if we don’t do [intervention]?”

      Finally, I had a successful natural delivery, but I realize now how much was out of my hands. The best choice I made was going with a provider group that strongly supported natural deliveries, and delivering at a birth center that had the lowest C-section rate in my city (but with the facilities and expertise to handle it if needed). I also stayed home for my labor as long as possible, and didn’t head to the hospital until I couldn’t speak during contractions, which really helped because no one was there to push unwanted medication on me. I was lucky to live close to the hospital and to be able to call my provider from home with any questions–this may not be the same situation for everyone. And I went to a birth class where we did role-playing through various scenarios, and that helped a ton to prepare me.

      Good luck!

      • Prego! says

        This is so helpful- thank you all so much for the replies already! I definitely don’t want to have a super strict plan- but I worry because a lot of my friends have had unwanted c-sections. The hospital we are planning on using does have a great natural birth rate, so I am pretty comfortable with that. It’s really just a question of knowing what is going right in labor and knowing what is going wrong, and how we will be able to tell the difference. But we will definitely take a class, and I appreciate the podcast and story ideas, I think that’s a great way to help him better understand what it will be like. Thank you all so much!

        • Betty says

          One other comment re: a doula. Staying home as long as possible can really help cut the number of interventions. And a doula can help you and your husband know what is natural/normal and help you stay at home longer. My husband became so panicked by my labor and pain that he wanted to head to the hospital immediately with our first (and he is generally a very calm guy); a doula would have been wonderful to assuage his concerns that what I was going through was perfectly normal.

          • Sam says

            +1 to this – try and stay home as long as you possibly can! Hard to do with your first because (1) it seems like a big, exciting event starting and you want to head in and get your seats early! (2) you read all those stories about taxicab deliveries and (3) hard to tell the difference between ‘normal slow regular labor’ and ‘baby about to come out!’ when it’s your first.
            So, for my first, I went in at 11am after experiencing some contractions overnight. TOO early. I delivered the next morning 2am and had some unnecessary inteventions.

            For my second, I went in late! When I was walking into the delivery ward I had to lean on the wall and could barely walk for the contractions coming strong and fast! It was perfect timing, nothing unnecessary and in fact they almost wanted to slow me down until the doc could get there.

            How do you know when to go in? They tell you to go by the 5-1-1 rule but strictly speaking, you can wait even a bit longer than that (4-1-1 or 3-1-1). If contractions are irregular, it isnt time yet.

          • Anonymous says

            For me, there was a point in my labor (with my first) when I knew I was ready to go to the hospital. I ended up staying at home for about 3 more hours, and then delivered less than 30 minutes (with no interventions!) after arriving at the hospital. So… staying at home could go either way. Just saying.

        • Advocate says

          I think you are correct to make sure you have someone to advocate for you, and I totally agree a doula seems more neutral than your mom. The only person I know who wanted to have totally natural births, and was successful, talks about how important her husband’s advocacy was. I think the hospital staff was fairly pushy about giving her meds (I think bc she was pretty vocal). She definitely credits her husband with keeping them at bay.

          I know a few others who ended up with natural births bc they stayed home too long! One in particular really, really wanted meds, but she was too far gone when she got to the hospital.

          • Advocate says

            Oh, and just to put it out there, I do know a bathtub baby…Not via the Internet or a friend of a friend, but a friend really had a “whoops! waited too long!” birth in her house. The boy is healthy and happy, and all three of them have a great party story.

    • NewMomAnon says

      I second the recommendation for a doula; my (ex) husband was initially offended when I asked to hire a doula, but he came to realize that the doula would also be there to support him during labor. My doula pitched her role by saying that either Dad would support Mom and doula would get ice chips, food, etc or vice versa.

      I strongly disagree with laughing over the birth plan; just be realistic about your goals in labor. I think it’s overbroad to say “natural, no C-Section, no interventions,” because that doesn’t give you any framework in which to make a decision if something does go off the rails. My goal was “minimize anxiety, minimize interventions (in that order),” and my doula helped me come up with a number of strategies for my birth plan (e.g., room dim, quiet music, fewer people in the room, turn first to non-medication comfort techniques then to nitrous and narcotics before epidural, and we had a plan for how to handle a C-section too). When things did go sideways (literally, baby turned sideways), it was empowering to have a goal other than “no” when the doctor proposed a C-section.

      For me, it would have been far too much uncertainty to walk into labor not knowing if I could trust my “birth coach.” But that was largely due to anxiety and my personality. If you can handle that level of uncertainty, it could be great to see your husband rise to the challenge. It could also end your relationship if he doesn’t rise to the challenge. So…..take this seriously.

    • EB0220 says

      The way I pitched a doula was that she would have a lot of experience with childbirth and would know some of the pitfalls/things to watch for/etc. So I framed not as “You can’t advocate for me, husband” but more as “You might not know what to do/expect/ask for and the doula can help”. I had a doula with my second, but not my first. Even though my 2nd labor was only 3 hrs, my doula earned every penny and kept me from losing it. With my 2nd, I had a half page of “birth preferences” and I think it helped to have a general framework of the journey (Let me move, keep the lights low, etc.) rather than the destination (NO MEDS NO CSECTION NO FORMULA).

    • MomAnon4This says

      I posted about this… well, probably 11 + 5 months ago. I have an 11 month and a VERY introverted husband who has also been diagnosed with social anxiety. I did get a doula (about $1000) and do NOT regret it at all – at first I was afraid it would be emasculating for him, or she would cause anxiety at a stressful time in our relationship (IN THE LABOR ROOM) but she was so helpful. I felt very comfortable when interviewing (I interviewed 2 doulas) mentioning that our marriage is good but we’re not always great communicators. The doula can (and should) step out of the room whenever needed to give you privacy.

      It turned out that Husband appreciated the doula there – she was able to support him, suggest things in a non-nagging or forceful way, they could both help move me, she could massage me when he was exhausted, etc. It worked out great. We had 1 2-or3 hour meeting before, around 8 months or so, to learn some techniques together. Very helpful.

      Also, I requested a midwife delivery thinking that she would be more available than the doctor… she was not. I was very, very glad that the doula was there, and present. I still use the meditative techniques that she taught me/us. I highly recommend it – feel free to reply back to this if you’d like to PM or EM

      FWIW, I also wanted a low-intervention birth, but the little guy was (thankfully) into self-preservation and would not/could not descend with the cord wrapped around his neck. After many monitors, and an epidural, it was decided to go to c-section. But I kept my glasses on during the operation — that was the first line in my birth plan, to keep my glasses on!

      • mascot says

        Lol about keeping your glasses on. I was very grateful that I could wear my contacts and my wedding band during labor and delivery. We also requested (and received) that my husband announce the sex of the baby and get to cut the cord.
        OP, I think talking to your doctor about what is a possible ask for a birth plan and what is a no go will really help manage your expectations. Things can change pretty quickly when its go time. Our baby needed immediate observation for possible meconium inhalation and I really appreciated that we were told ahead of time exactly what would happen so we could be ready. The L&D nurses were really helpful in that regard.

    • Anonymous says

      Yes x 1 million to a doula. I insisted that we hire a doula because my husband’s attitude towards medicine and doctors and childbirth is the polar opposite of mine–he accepts anything a doctor says without question and is on board with every intervention suggested, whereas I have a huge degree of distrust for the medical profession and question everything (partly because a close relative died as a result of a medical error in the “never event” category). I was certain that my husband would not be able to advocate for my preferences or ask the basic informed consent questions (what if we wait? are there alternatives? etc.). Like MomAnon’s husband, my husband ended up appreciating the doula’s presence because she took a lot of pressure off of him. If I recall correctly, our contract included two pre-birth meetings and one post-birth meeting with the doula and a quick meet-and-greet with her backup. We also took the Lamaze class our doula taught, which really helped us get to know her.

    • Meg Murry says

      I think all the doula suggestions are good, but I also think you can probably make the case for your mother coming without getting into why she would be better at advocating for you than your husband. And in our case, my husband would view a doula as a hippie/crunchy thing, and not something he would want to pay for.

      Both my mother and husband were with my when my kids were born, and both times we wound up in scary situations where I was too out of it to make a decision, and my husband had to make the decisions for me and the baby. That was really hard on him, despite the fact that he’s normally a very decisive and assertive person, so he really appreciated having her there to help him make those calls.

      The other good thing about having my mom there was that she was able take care of all the “everything else” so my husband could concentrate on me. For instance, she handled all the phone calls keeping my father, sister, in-laws, etc that were super excited up to date so they weren’t calling my husband’s phone constantly. She went to the cafeteria and got my husband coffee and snacks, she kept me company when he needed to take a break, she made sure he was drinking water and eating, etc.

    • anon says

      Yeah, get a doula to mediate between you guys as well.

      But truthfully, I gave birth in a very hospital-y hospital and they didn’t blink an eye with my demands. It didn’t require much advocating at all. I think people worry a lot more about this than they need to – hospitals are used to birth plans.

      And if they are really pushing you to go the C-Section route, do it! And don’t cry about it afterwards. It’s the health of your baby that’s important not your warm fuzzy memories.

      -mother of birth plan that quickly flew out the window as soon as baby’s heart rate started to drop

      • layered bob says

        yeah, do it when you or your baby’s health is at risk, but you definitely get to cry about it afterwards if you want to. birth is hard and scary no matter how you do it, and it is ok to be sad if you don’t have the warm memories of a big life event that you had hoped for.

    • POSITA says

      I found the book the Birth Partner to be really helpful. It allowed me and my husband to talk through many scenarios prior to labor and how I wanted him to handle them. We also prepared for possibilities such as if I was out under general anesthesia or if the baby was taken to the NICU. When one of those came true, we were really glad we had a plan. There was no time to discuss. It’s a good read regardless of whether your husband, mom or doula is acting as your support person.

      • Westraye says

        Seconded – the Birth Partner was sooo helpful. Reading it helped both me and my partner understand what could go sideways and we discussed ahead of time how we wanted to handle the various options (we had no doula or midwife, just an OB). It also was good for us to figure out how long we wanted to stay home before going in. Good luck!

    • Anonymous2 says

      Other people already said it but doula!

      My husband = clueless and totally like yours – afraid to speak up. I didn’t hire a doula and he basically let me fend for myself mentally and somewhat physically too. Don’t let that happen to you: As NewMomAnon above says, it can damage your relationship. Mother, sister, bad-a$$ best friend (preferably one who has had a child) would also work if you can’t agree on a doula.

  3. Betty says

    Have you considered hiring a doula? Advocating and asking questions is part of what they do, and their support to you and your husband can be absolutely invaluable.

  4. rdresq says

    Shopping help needed! I am attending a rehearsal dinner and wedding in a few weekends, and expect I will need to pump at some point during the evening. I plan to bring my manual pump and dump any milk I get. My question is what bag can I use to transport my pump? I think it will fit in an extra large clutch. Does anyone have any suggestions? I am wearing royal blue to the rehearsal dinner and navy blue to the wedding, so a bag that goes with both dresses would be easiest. I was thinking black, but am open to other suggestions. Thanks!

  5. Freshening up says

    If you were to buy just a couple of items to ‘freshen up’ your wardrobe for return to work after maternity leave, what would you buy?

    Ideally, they’d be pumping friendly and also budget-friendly as all spending now comes with the Ack! I should be saving this for the kid’s college! baggage attached.

    • Anonymous says

      Pants that fit me at my current size. I found pants + stretchy top easiest to pump in (dresses too much hassle for me). Add a blazer for professional look assuming you’re not business formal.

      Fresh makeup routine – the week before you go back, go get a makeover at a mall store and purchase just the basics to make you feel awesome. (Not necessarily from that store, but something comparable.)

      Also, and know that I am a very frugal and savings-focused person, I would advise you not to stress too much about spending some money to make yourself feel as confident as you can. When I went back after my second, I felt like a disgusting hormonal animal – still way out of my normal sized clothes, dripping all kinds of bodily fluids, and crying at the drop of a hat. I was ready to go back for my sanity but I also dreaded having to see people and have people see me in that state. A couple of hundred dollars on key clothes that fit and makeup that made me look like me only better was the best investment. So, props for thinking about this in advance.

    • anon says

      None of my work tops fit me in the chest department at that time, so it was worth it to get 3-4 work tops that actually fit. They fit for all of a month, but it was still good to have something I could actually wear. And a couple of skirts a size up from usual. I implemented a limited color palette that is still going strong a year later, so that everything goes and I can just replace pieces in the right size when necessary.

    • SC says

      I’m not sure where you live, but if you have access to an outlet mall, I highly recommend a trip! Before going back to work, I bought new bras and underwear, 4-5 new tops, and 2 dresses, mostly from an all-day trip to an outlet mall with a good friend and the baby.

      I also tried on all of my pre-pregnancy clothes, kept only what fit, and dry-cleaned everything I kept. (You may not need the dry-cleaning, but I had packed up my clothes mid-pregnancy for a renovation.) And I threw out a bunch of old shoes, got the ones I liked repaired and polished, and bought 2-3 pairs of new, fun heels in the couple of months after I went back to work. After wearing flats almost my entire pregnancy, rocking the heels made me feel super put-together again.

      I never really figured out the emphasis on “pumping friendly” tops. I had a hard enough time finding anything that fit. And to pump, I just pulled up my top or zipped down my dress, took off my regular bra, and used a pumping bra. It wasn’t that difficult.

  6. Rut. says

    Ugh. I think I”m in a rut. Every day seems the same, wake up – morning rush, and off to work. My work is vaguely fulfilling, but I do a lot of repetitive, mundane tasks. I pick up my kids from school, and usually have an hour or two to play with them, then make dinner, eat dinner, bed time for them(husband usually comes home around this time), stupid Netflix shows, and then bed. I feel so stuck. There is not enough time to meet other friends for a playdate before dinner (and none of my friends leave work until later as well), and my 18 month old is SO CLINGY and it’s starting to make me really frustrated. I do everything with him attached to me – cooking, cleaning up, etc. etc. etc., but even then, he wants to be picked up, then put down, then picked back up again.

    When it’s nice out, we go to the park and he’ll happily run around, but with this cold weather we are stuck inside. I’m feeling the angsty same cabin fever I felt in January. It makes me irritable with my kids, my work, and frustrated with my husband.

    Any suggestions?! Help!

    • Lkl says

      Can you really, really bundle up and have a picnic dinner outside? We have done this when I was going crazy, and it was pretty fun. Doesn’t fix the greater rut issue, but definitely fixed my mood for a day.

      • Faye says

        +1 to getting outside, even if it’s cold. I’m similar to you, but my youngest is 6 months. I bundle them up, stick them in the stroller, and go for a walk. The fresh air helps all of us, we get some much needed exercise (including my toddler!) and feel refreshed for dinner. If I’m pressed for time, I’ll do a cheese-and-crackers dinner before I’ll give up that walk.
        Also I know it’s hard not to just zone out after you get the kids down, but find a relatively fulfilling but still quiet/relaxing hobby to do instead. Fill out your baby books, learn how to code on Codecademy, join Postcrossing, read books, learn to knit, whatever makes you happy and shows some tangible results that you can SEE. Start with a goal of doing it for just 5-10 min each night before you zone out, and then expand from there.

    • Meg Murry says

      Can you schedule something one evening just for yourself (happy hour with friends, a yoga class, get a haircut, etc) and have your husband either get home early and get the kids or get a sitter?

      Or can you plan something bigger and fun for a few weeks/months away? A girls night out, something special for Memorial Day weekend, etc so you have something to look forward to?

      • Anonymous says

        +1 to this, and thanks for the reminder! I never feel like I have time to see friends and have never been good about it even before kids, but even drinks with a friend for an hour makes me feel so much like a real, individual person that is not just a mother/wife/worker bee! My MO is to propose drinks at like 8:30 on a Saturday night, after kids are in bed, which last for about an hour, and then I am home in time for a long night of recovery sleep. (Man, I am so lame.)

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