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I found this purse organizer while browsing through Oprah’s Favorite Things — apparently, this was one of her “favorite things” from 2018. I like that it has many organizing pockets, a zippered top, and handles, and it looks like it’s a substantial size. Of course, the LED lights are the icing on the cake. As someone who is always rooting around in the depths of their bag for 10 minutes trying to find a receipt, a lollipop, or keys, I would love to have this to light my way. It comes in a bunch of different colors and even has expandable sides for when you’re using a larger bag and/or carrying more things. The other one I see all the time is by ToteSavvy, but that one is to be used as more of a diaper bag. Either way, I like the idea of a purse insert! This one is $41.98 at Amazon and is eligible for Prime. LittBag
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Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
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Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
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- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
RSV says
I’m expecting my first baby any day now. The plan had been for my out-of-town mother to come down for the birth and to stay at my house for a week or so to help while everyone gets settled. A week ago, on my due date, my sister’s son was diagnosed with RSV. My mother is now sneezing and coughing and is continuing to care for my nephew.
Of course, this means that my sister and my nephew won’t visit until he’s symptom-free and no longer contagious. My question is on timelines: CDC says some infants can be contagious for up to four weeks after symptoms go away (https://www.cdc.gov/rsv/about/transmission.html). Erring on the side of caution, does that month-long period apply to toddlers (nephew is one year old)? And am I correct that my mother shouldn’t be around me/Baby/our house until she’s been both symptom-free herself and not with my nephew for at least eight days, based on the 3-8 day incubation period referenced in that article? (And is that shorter period applicable to my sister, rather than the 40 days for her son?)
I would be grateful for any guidance here. The pediatrician office we’ll be using doesn’t establish patient relationships until after birth, so I haven’t met or talked with them yet and don’t yet have a sense of their approach or how much stock to put in it — and my OB has been frustratingly unhelpful and vague on this question. It goes without saying that my newborn’s health is the paramount concern. No visits with/caretaking help from my mom in the first days will be a bit of a heartbreaker, of course, but not the priority.
Thankful for the hive wisdom on this.
Anonanonanon says
I’m so sorry to hear that none of the doctors are being helpful- how frustrating! Another source of information could be your local health department. They should have an epidemiologist or a communicable disease nurse that could provide clarification on the CDC guidance.
As a former public health professional myself (but not a clinician! talk to an epidemiologist or clinician!), I would have your mom talk to her doctor, explain that she is going to visit a newborn but was recently around a grandchild with RSV, and get their recommendation on what she should do. Also, have her push for PCR testing to see if her symptoms are from RSV or not. That might be tricky since there’s probably no clinical indication of needing to know if she has it (ie. she’s not in need of any targeted treatment) but if she explains the situation they might order the testing, which might put your mind at ease. I know it’s commercially available but I don’t know how expensive it is, so I can’t say if insurance will be OK with covering it.
Anonanonanon says
Also, to follow up on my longer reply that will hopefully post at some point, contact your ped’s office anyway. I promise it will not be the craziest call they get today, it’s a totally reasonable thing to ask. You can compare that with what your mom hears from her doctor. Also, have your sister ask her own pediatrician about it! Then you can compare answers and see what you’re comfortable with.
Anonymous says
I agree with asking your ped-to-be and having your sister ask her ped. That said, the 40 days seems excessively cautious, especially as it pertains to your mom. My almost 2 year old had RSV last month and my husband and I came down with about 7-8 days after she first started showing symptoms (read: getting her snot all over us), so I agree with the 8 day incubation period for kids. But my understanding is that adults cease being contagious much faster than kids, and even when they are contagious are much less likely to spread it, due to lower viral loads and better hygiene. My parents visited me and my husband 4 days after we became sick (planned visit that they didn’t want to cancel), while we were still coughing and sneezing quite a bit, and neither of them became sick. I would definitely not want an adult who is showing symptoms of RSV around my newborn, but personally I’d be ok with your mom visiting once she’s symptom free, since it sounds like she now has it herself (her doctor should be able to confirm – it’s a simple nose swab).
anon says
+1 with asking all the doctors! One thing I would recommend doing now is get comfortable being “that mom” that demands answers when you need them. Or delegate being that person to your partner! I’m just a big believer in learning to advocate for yourself and your loved ones when it comes to health. Our healthcare system is very broken and it is sadly up to us to get the care we need. And totally agree that your calling to ask about this is far from the craziest call of the day to the ped’s office. (That call probably came from me. :-) My mom came to help but had a cold sore when my daughter was born and refused to touch her until her second visit 6-weeks later so I sympathize! See if there is a night nurse/post-partum doula/good friend that might be able to give you some relief. You got this!
Anon says
I don’t have an answer so I would 100% defer to your pedi. But, my sister’s 6 week old caught RSV from either his cousin/my daughter or his older sister (both are 2-ish) around Christmas.
My nephew went to the ER three different times and was admitted twice, the last/longest stay of 5 days. He was on breathing and feeding tubes. He’s been home about two weeks and his breathing rhythm is still not back to normal. My sister is an ICU nurse and it takes a lot to scare her and she was very shaken by it. I don’t mean to be dramatic, but we both wish someone had been more clear/direct about the risks of young infants having RSV. We both opted to not get our toddlers formally diagnosed because there’s no meaningful treatment/medication for a toddler with RSV (just a bad cold with a fever at the onset – we both thought they had ear infections), but obviously had we had a definitive diagnosis we would have isolated infant from toddlers a lot sooner.
rosie says
Not to pile on, but I just want to urge lots of caution as well. My newborn had an unexplained fever at 10 days old. Fortunately everything was fine, but we had to go to ER, sepsis workup (includes spinal tap), and spent 1 night admitted, which was incredibly stressful when we were still getting the hang of caring for an infant. As far as I can tell, I caused her illness because I picked up a head cold in the hospital when she was born (no fever or severe symptoms, just standard adult cough/cold). I would be really really cautious.
Anonymous says
I’d call the ped’s office and ask again when they come to see the baby in the hospital after the birth. And, personally, I’d be excessively cautious about it.
Audrey III says
I am so sorry you’re in this situation. I don’t have any additional advice re getting info over the above, but I will say a friend’s son contracted RSV when he was 3 days old, from his older sister, and wound up in the NICU for about 2 weeks, with similar experience to Anon at 9:06 above (breathing assistance, feeding tube, etc.). It’s extremely risky for newborns, so you are right to find out as much info as you can re protecting your newborn – and, to the extent necessary, don’t be afraid to ruffle feathers in your family over this if the info you’re getting from doctors says that mom/sister/nephew should stay away at any point (or, if you’ve decided that’s what’s best for your baby).
Anon says
Sometimes as a mom you need to go with your gut. It’s clear that you feel uncomfortable about these family members being around your newborn so don’t allow them near him/her until you feel comfortable.
As a kind of related example, I didn’t take my daughter to Xmas Eve Mass in her first year because it made me feel uncomfortable even though the Dr said it would be fine. We got a lot of backlash from MIL (mostly because she wanted to show her off to her friends and they could stroke her cheeks) but we just said doctor’s orders, sorry.
Strategy mom says
Worst case scenario, as long as she seems healthy, let her come and see the baby and wear a mask. Let her hold baby quickly after washing hands and let her be on the other side of the room and don’t let her stay with y’all, but there are lots of ways to minimize risk if it’s a short visit. And I think that’s the worst case. Hopefully one of the odds says the 40 days is overkill – crossing my fingers for you. But at least let her be in the room to lay her eyes on her beautiful new grand baby, even if it’s only for a minute. (This works if she lives close, obvi not practical if she has to fly in to town). And this is just my take based on how I think about things, but you’ve got to do you! I also think your ped should be willing to answer a phone call on this. Good luck!!
Anon says
I also recommend caution. My 3 month old nephew got RSV. My visiting in-laws got bad colds from him but still came to our house for Christmas at the tail end of their colds. My mom ended up getting pneumonia around a week after being with my in-laws at Christmas so I suspect it was all RSV related.
H13 says
Need some support today. I feel like I’ve lost my mojo at work and can’t seem to get the win I need to get moving again. I was up in the middle of the night doing breathing treatments with one kid and have to go to an event with my CEO (who scares the daylights out of me) tonight.
The exhaustion, the lack of confidence… it makes me feel like I just want less job, but really I don’t. I like working. I like making money. There is definitely a morale issue during a high-pressure time at work which doesn’t help. My direct boss doesn’t have kids and will work herself beyond all reasonable exhaustion.
Advice for how to fake it ’til I make it? How to feel less intimidated by the CEO? How do I get my groove back?!
Thanks for letting me vent. I really value the opportunity to post here and feel heard and understood.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Keep telling yourself that you at even at 50% is still better than anyone else at this job, based on your experience, both technically and with knowing the company. The fact that you’re meeting with the CEO one on one is a great thing! It means they highly value you.
“My direct boss doesn’t have kids and will work herself beyond all reasonable exhaustion.” – I so get this. I’ve had situations like this and it sucks, but know that the amount of time spent doesn’t necessarily mean better work. And try to think of yourself as modeling for other employees, especially parents, how you want the workplace to look. Working until you’re exhausted is not good for anyone long-term, and will lead to burn out. And honestly, the company doesn’t care about you that much and will let you go if it meets their business need, or will forget about you if you leave. So failing to strike a healthy balance between being a hard worker (which I’m sure you are) and giving the job everything will most likely just lead to disappointment. I know, easier said than done when the corporate culture is so into this idea of working longer and always, but you got this!
H13 says
Thank you! I I will be reading this multiple times today :)
Anon says
This – from a BigLaw senior associate with a toddler that doesn’t sleep and a husband who has a lot of physical limitations that mean everything falls to me.
anne-on says
You got this! Working full time with kids in big jobs (or in any job really) is just hard. Full stop. It’s harder when you have coworkers (or your spouse has coworkers) who expect you to work like a single unattached person. At the end of the day – you need to set limits, and you’re setting a good example for other working parents, your kid, and modeling working parenthood at your office.
Also – come home, order takeout, and crash in bed as soon as humanly possible – you earned it!
Anonymous says
CEO is just a person. If you need to make conversation with CEO, steer the conversation to non-work material. Where did you grow up? Family? Vacation plans? Etc. Finding something to talk about that isn’t work related helps me, and I think it helps cement bonds with people.
Anon says
Think about a time in the past when you felt this kind of dread and it turned out fine. You are stronger and more capable than you sometimes feel!! Even Olympic athletes feel crappy and deal with injuries and bad nights of no sleep and get up and go for it. You’ve got it in you!! Put your game face on.
Anonymous says
I’ve got a 5-month old baby and I can no longer even glimpse a news story about something tragic happening to a child without it triggering anxiety. I was up in the middle of the night thinking about one last night. Is this normal new-mom anxiety, or something more serious?
Emily S. says
We are different people, of course, so this might not be true of you, but I have felt the same way but it has gotten better. It peaked right after I had my second child, and over the course of the past 2 years has gotten better. I talked about seeing my counselor about it, but I ultimately didn’t; I talked about it with my friends and family and felt like I could manage. One concrete example: shortly after I came back from mat leave #2, DH sent me an essay from a former professor who was writing about picking up her child from a school in the same district as Sandy Hook on that terrible day. I ran to the bathroom and cried and hyperventilated. Now, I feel like I could read that essay and be shaken but could process it without crying. One coping mechanism that you might try is that I pay attention to the news but I don’t read the articles about these tragic events. I see the headline and skip it and talk with someone I trust about seeing the news and ignoring it. I still wake up in the middle of the night sometimes, but it is far less frequent and after reminding myself that it was terrible but it didn’t happen to me, I can calm down and am normal towards my kids the next day (instead of smothering them so they ask what’s up.) If you feel like this is something that you’re not able to get a handle on, though, absolutely talk to a professional about it.
Anonymous says
It’s a normal adjustment to parenthood. Parenthood gives you a new appreciation for the tragedy in something happening to a child, especially in terms of how the parents are affected. It faded for me after a while. Just avoid that type of news for now. If it starts to interfere with your functioning, even when you avoid that type of news, talk to your doctor.
Side note, I never ever watch or listen to Trump. It’s fantastic for my mental health. I still read news so I know what’s going on but not having to hear his voice since the election is super helpful.
Em says
I had this, although it hit closer to 1 year pp and it was a sign that my anxiety was back in full swing and I let it go wayyyyy to long before realizing how much of a problem it was. I went to therapy first and learned to recognize that news articles like this were definite triggers for an anxiety spiral and I still, 3 years later, avoid them or read them very cautiously. Lexapro is what really helped for me though.
H13 says
This was really hard for me the first 1-2 years with both my kids. I had to actively choose not to clink on a link or else I would just spiral. I can handle it better now but still just choose not to click. Self-preservation.
Anonymous says
That sums up how I felt after both of my kids. For example, my youngest is now 18 months, so I was completely unable to handle reading anything re: the kids separated at the border last year. Now I feel like I could read some reporting on that event without sobbing uncontrollably. But honestly, I would probably read a lot less about it than I would have in my pre-kid news-junkie days.
Anon says
Kids being sick or dying definitely hits me much harder now that I’m a parent. I’ve cried numerous times while reading updates about a high school classmate’s child with cancer, even though I don’t know the child and barely know the mom. That said, waking up in the middle of the night hours later to brood about it sounds more like anxiety. I would ask your OBGYN and see what they say.
lsw says
It is normal, but it’s also a sign of PPA. Would you consider calling for a screening at your OBGYN? They might tell you it’s fine, but they might also have a way to help.
Anonymous says
So it is definitely normal to empathize so much more after you have your own child but I will say that after my first I had postpartum anxiety and was not diagnosed/treated and wish I had been. I only realized it after I had my second child and felt so different/so much better in the postpartum period. Some of what I went through – I couldn’t sleep much and baby wasn’t a great sleeper so I’d just be awake all the time waiting for her next wake up. Worried excessively about SIDs and would check her breathing multiple times a night. Insane worry when she got sick etc….My OB told me it was just new mom stuff but now I know it was not normal at all. They can also give you a screening at your pediatricians office!
FVNC says
My oldest is six and my youngest is 2.5 and I cannot read or watch things about children being harmed, and if I let myself see a headline about a child, it will pop up in my mind, along with other terrible events, on and off for days. I don’t think my issue is related to anxiety (or maybe I don’t know as much as I should about anxiety). For me, the response is caused by both empathy and (maybe relatedly), realizing that it’s scary that my kids are safe, healthy, etc. mostly by pure chance. And, that there’s not much I can do to help other kids have the same chances or happiness as my kids (I donate a lot to various charities, but beyond that…?). My solution is to stop listening to NPR constantly (I work from home and used to listen to it as white noise), have my husband filter news stories (we get the physical NYT delivered) and to help kids/families in ways I can (see charities, above).
Rant says
I posted something to this effect on the main board yesterday, but bringing it here today. I think I just need venting and commiseration.
I’ll spare the gory details but we’re otherwise ready to start medication for IUI on Saturday after getting long-waited insurance clearance yesterday. In the same call notifying me of approval, RE’s nurse tells me that I’ve lost my measles immunity from childhood and I need to be re-vaccinated before we start treatment due to “new protocol” in the office (went to this doctor for kid #1 two years ago and this never came up). There’s a 45 day waiting period post vaccination to start treatments. My RE’s office did the bloodwork and had the results of the negative titer test from October 1 and they sat on that information. I could have been vaccinated anytime this fall and would not have an issue.
I’m working through it with the RE’s office, not short of me absolutely going bonkers on them yesterday. Evidently if I petition high enough they will allow me to sign a waiver and proceed without the vaccine so I’m optimistic I will be injecting myself come Saturday. But, the solution aside, it is a crime that something that is so stressful and heart wrenching as infertility can be even further exacerbated by poor procedures and human error like this. And, if I weren’t just so freaking P-O’d and also just strong and willing to advocate for myself, I’m not sure where we’d be. FWIW, this is a major medical institution that is world renowned, not some small operation. The system is just so freaking messed up.
And, before it gets said, I know a 45 day wait in the scheme of things is nothing, but trust when I say that news, on top of everything else that led up to yesterday, gutted me. It shouldn’t come down to that. Sigh and end rant.
Anonymous says
It’s likely changed in the last couple years, as the measles rate has increased in many places and the effects on a fetus can be devastating. I would avoid Europe for a babymoon if you are unvaccinated.
Anon says
+1 to avoiding Europe. Technically the CDC says babies/toddlers need two MMR shots before they can go to Europe. I feel nervous vacationing there with my toddler who has only had one shot, even though I know odds are between 90-95% she has immunity. I would definitely not go there if I knew I weren’t immune.
Anonymous says
+1. While I would be angry at the doctor’s office for waiting on this, I’d still probably get the shot before trying to get pregnant.
rosie says
I am so sorry. Gently, I would get vaccinated, though. You will probably spend a fair amount of time trying to get the waiver, so better IMO to just do the vaccine & the waiting period (although I would probably push the RE to make sure that the waiting period was totally evidenced-backed, I don’t know anything about that). [[6 IUIs + 2 IVFs here, I get that waiting and delay sucks, but pregnancy after fertility treatments can be super hard, emotionally, and I’d want to try to control for as many risks as possible]]
Anon Lawyer says
Yes I didn’t know to check my measles immunity until after I was pregnant with an IVF baby (outbreaks really picked up after I was pregnant) and it was added stress I didn’t need at all at that point. And I had various delays to so I get how awful that feels but you do want to cover your bases on this.
Anon says
ok, so i couldn’t respond to you yesterday but i wanted to. i had this issue as well! i had gone to my regular obgyn and i mentioned we were going to start trying and so she did a test to check if i was still immune and i was marginal, which my parents thought was ridiculous because i apparently had the worst case of chicken pox my pediatrician had ever seen, but the doctor wrote it off as it not being a big deal and didn’t feel the need to rerun the blood test. then when i miscarried and ended up going to see a fertility specialist they said i had to be 100% immune, which was going to involve getting one shot, waiting 30 days and then getting a second shot and wait another 30 days. during this time DH were planning on trying to get pregnant ourselves before turning to treatments. i was SO SO upset with the idea of waiting 2 months when I had already been trying for so long. the doc and i agreed that i would go get another blood test done that day, and then go get shot #1. if the test said i was immune, then i was just going to have to wait 30 days. well, the lab screwed up and ran some other random blood tests rather than what they were supposed to do so I ended up having to get the second shot! More just saying that I feel your pain, but I actually would also probably suck it up and get the shot and wait the 45 days and in the mean time indulge in something to try to make myself feel better (DH and I planned a last minute vacation when this happened to me)
Anon says
But measles and chicken pox are not the same thing? Unless you mean you weren’t immune to chicken pox – that would be super odd if you had it and weren’t immune, unless you were under a year old at the time or the test was faulty. But I agree with getting vaccines before pregnancy…all these diseases are super dangerous to the baby.
Anon says
the test was basically showing that my immunity to chicken pox had potentially worn off even though I was 4 when I had it. not saying the risk of chicken pox is necessarily as high as measles these days, but more from an emotional perspective I can understand what it is like to be in OP’s shoes of an office having info, not telling you to act on it and then the emotional agony of having to wait more time when you feel like you’ve already waited forever
Pogo says
As someone who has had multiple insurance snags that delayed cycles both times I got pregnant (this time more annoyingly to me since we were going straight to and FET w/ known protocol), I get it. I started with a call to my RE in late May 2019 to try for #2. I finally had my transfer in mid-December 2019. I would probably still do whatever they recommend (get the vaccine) but allow yourself to feel incredibly frustrated and angry. It all feels so unfair, that this thing other people do without thinking because an awful bureaucratic nightmare.
Honestly I am still dealing with a bill that was coded wrong by my RE’s office (also a major operation) and denied by insurance in like, September, and then I was forced to pay out of pocket if I wanted to go ahead with my treatment and not delay yet ANOTHER month. I don’t know that I’ll ever see that money and while it doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things, to me it is the principle that I pay for this coverage and treatment and still have to (as you say) self-advocate and fight so so hard. Ugh, sorry to co-rant. I’m with you.
anon says
I completely empathize with this. We had one human error screw up after another with our major-medical-institution RE office. The REs were top notch, but the front and back office staff were terrible, resulting in several instances where my husband or I had to raise a stink about one issue or another. This may be an unpopular opinion, but I would push for a waiver and move forward with the treatment now. If it’s not one reason for a delay, it’s another. You really have to advocate for yourself to move these fertility treatments along at a reasonable pace.
OP says
MGH?
Clementine says
Unreasonable source of anxiety this morning: Is my house cleaner going to judge me for the messiness of my house? Or is it just job security?
(Note: my house is probably cleaner than 80% of people who have little kids and a dog and one spouse who’s been out of town for work for a couple months… I know this is my anxiety about my own inadequacy in all aspects manifesting in this one way…)
anne-on says
1000% job security for them! That’s why you have a cleaner. Good for you for offloading this task!
anon says
Even if they judge, does it matter?
I get where you’re coming from, as I’d describe my house the same way. But the cleaners are coming today, and let me tell you, it’s a hot mess compared to its usual state. I’ve just decided not to care. Life has been busy, we rearranged a bunch of furniture this weekend, and I keep unearthing Christmas decorations from my kids’ rooms (wtf?). It is what it is.
Anon says
My (very white looking but actually half hispanic and mostly fluent) husband told me that our spanish-speaking housekeepers, presumably thinking he can’t understand them, chatter about “weird” things like how I tape my holiday cards up across the back door windows or why we have 3 coffee makers (we’re picky people!), but oddly enough not about the clutter (of which we have a ton because I’ve apparently inherited my mother’s hoarding tendencies – and I know, I’m working on it!).
ElisaR says
i’m so jealous of this insider information you have gleaned!!
ElisaR says
this is my concern every single time the cleaners come to my house.
Anonymous says
But the whole point of hiring cleaners is that your house needs to be cleaned!
Anonymous says
Honestly, I’ve given up on “pre-cleaning” and my house cleaners keep coming back.
IHeartBacon says
This will sound REALLY REALLY REALLY silly, but this is what works for me when I have to do something at work that I’m dreading doing. Establish an alter ego for yourself. Name her and create a signature for her. When you need to do something scary like have a difficult conversation with someone (or interact with someone you’re afraid of), take out a piece of paper, write, “I am [alter ego name],” and then sign the document with her signature. Crumple up the paper, toss it in the trash, and face the world.
IHeartBacon says
Wow, this posted in the wrong place. My comment was meant for H13, above, although guess it could still apply to Clementine’s comment as well. ;)
SJ says
This is amazing advice! I love it. Thank you!
Anon says
what is the best way to research public schools? can you tour them? I attended private school my whole life so I am not entirely sure how this works. DH and I are looking into buying a house and want a better understanding of the schools. Also starting to think that at least for high school we might need to shell out for private school because while the elementary schools around us are supposed to be really good, one student shot another student at the high school we were thinking our kids would attend….
Anonymous says
You can contact the school for a tour. (What school are you talking about? Bellaire High School has been in the news this week but it’s a great school if you have a kid that is academically inclined.)
Anonymous says
I don’t think the fact that an awful thing happened at a high school your kid might attend in 15 years is a reason to do private school. You can always do elementary for public and private for high school if you still have concerns.
Jessamyn says
Which a ton of people (who can afford it) do in Houston, anyway, because so many of the best elementary/middle schools are zoned to Lamar, which is not well-rated.
Anonymous says
Check out the schools websites and social media to see what they are up to. I picked an elementary that seemed to have more focus on outdoor recreation (cross country skiing in gym class) vs. another one that seemed to have a more music focused program (multiple choirs). Neighborhood was a key factor for us. I was only interested in two schools so we focused on houses in those areas.
anon says
Are you in Houston? Super sad and probably causing a lot of people to question their plans. Felt like a weird incident that’s not really related to that school though, you know? That being said we aren’t zoned there.
OP says
Yes, I am in Houston. Glad to see so many other Houstonites on the board. For elementary schools we are thinking of buying a house that would make us zoned to West U, Horn, Mark Twain or Condit. Neither of us are originally from Houston and I did not realize how large Bellaire High School is (~3500 students) and while I definitely have plenty of time before my kids were to enter high school (i have two toddlers), we hope to live in whatever house we buy for a long period of time and also need to think about whether to budget for potential private school. i am also disturbed by school leadership who initially thought it would be a good idea to open the school the day after the shooting, but fortunately decided to keep the school closed for the day.
Anon says
I’m not in Houston but Bellaire High School is pretty well known nationally as a top academic high school. I went to an elite private college and there were a lot of kids from there. Sadly, school shootings happen pretty much everywhere these days, I don’t know that you can really blame the school for this and I’m not sure your kids would be any safer at a school that hasn’t yet had a shooting because past events don’t predict the future.
Anonymous says
I’m the first commenter from above.
You are outing yourself as a non-native by using “Houstonite” — it’s Houstonian, haha. ;-)
I am originally from Houston but don’t live there anymore. My sister does though and plans to send her kids to Twain and Bellaire (and that shooting doesn’t affect that). Just sharing in case it’s helpful. Yes, Bellaire is a huge school so might not be the right fit for a child that needs more individual attention.
Ashley says
My sister (masters degree in education and teacher) suggested looking at the CCRPI score (College and Career Ready Performance Index) for schools we are considering in Georgia. I am not sure if this is a national standard, but perhaps there’s something similar in your area? Caveat that this score relates to academic performance.
SJ says
Test scores and rankings are mostly related to the family income of children attending the school, and won’t tell you much about the quality of the school itself. If you really want to know, you need to talk to parents whose kids go to that school. Ask questions like, Do the teachers get support from their administration? How long has the principal been there? When you (as a parent) have a concern, how is it handled? Do you feel like your child’s needs are met most of the time? Also, get a feel for the parent community. Is it a fit with you? If you are involved, these are people you could be spending a lot of time with, and will be the parents of your children’s friends.
Also, find out if kids can apply to other high schools in the district, if you are concerned about high school. In several districts I know (I am in Oregon), high schools have different focus options (like language or career tech), and students can apply to those programs. So you might not be locked into a high school based on location.
Day care art says
What do you do with the art your kids bring home from daycare/preschool? Toss? If you keep, how do you store everything?
anon says
Keep the special things in a giant portfolio folder. Otherwise, I toss (and I toss pretty ruthlessly).
Anonanonanon says
I saw someone on the app where you theoretically instantly post photos but now edit and post later who took pictures of the kids artwork and had them printed in abook. Would take up even less space than shoving items of various sizes into a portfolio. The user was 600sqftandababy and they said they posted about it on their blog (I assume that’s appropriate to share since they are a professional blogger). I’m considering starting the same
lsw says
I keep almost all of it, but I’m a crazy hoarder. I find that getting rid of it later (like, once a year or something) is easier for me when some of the sentimentality wears off. I see myself keeping some of them forever.
Emily S. says
I weed through it every day and toss the worksheets and store the art in a magazine holder on my desk. When that gets jam full, I take pictures of everything and upload to a designated folder on Shutterfly. I keep the truly special stuff and toss the rest. At the end of the school year,I go through the special stuff again and usually toss some of it; the rest goes in page protectors in a giant three-ring binder. (If it doesn’t fit in an 8.5 by 11 page protector, I toss it.) I plan to create one photo book of art and school photos at the conclusion of preschool and again at elementary school.
I tried ArtKive but was not impressed with the quality of the photo book (for example, they didn’t rotate pictures to fit on the page so a landscape was just cropped to fit on the portrait layout, turned the wrong way.)
Anon says
Keep anything special, and throw out the rest. In 6 months of preschool, I’ve kept 2 things.
Pogo says
I rotate what’s up on the fridge as something new comes in. and then toss, but I’m not very sentimental.
Anonymous says
I keep things that are special only (which in the early years primarily consisted of the ones that were hand or foot print based – because adorable – and now in the elementary years are the more impressive art work pieces or things that are “first” – like the first perfect math test brought home). Everything else gets tossed. I do it consistently but very quietly. Getting caught is the worst!
FVNC says
+1. “Why is my snowman in the traaaaaaaasssssshhhhhhhh?”
Yeah, I have learned to be more stealthy. Sometimes I stash artwork that I don’t want to keep but that I think my kid might ask about for a week or two, and if I don’t hear about it then it gets moved from hiding place to trash/recycling.
Yup says
Hahahaha!
GCA says
Put 1-2 of my absolute favorites on the fridge, recycle the worksheets, eventually toss anything that is not 2D (the ‘surreptitious same-evening toss’ rate was higher when kid 2 was still in the crawling-around-putting-things-in-her-mouth phase, but I have gotten lazy).
Anon says
Take pictures of the good/special ones and keep in a google photo album, then toss.
CCLA says
Like a few others above, we ruthlessly toss and keep just a very few special ones (maybe 10 total in three years?). We display sparingly though that might change as they get older. This is driven in no small part by the circumstance that within the last year I was handed all my cr@p from childhood as my dad cleared out his basement, 99.9999% of which I just tossed, and realized I didn’t want to burden my kids with boxes upon boxes of stuff.
Jessamyn says
I have a giant Tupperware tub in the pantry that I toss everything in as it comes in. Then, once it’s full, I sort through it all at once and throw away 90% of it. It takes away having to make any decisions about it on a day-to-day basis, and seeing hundreds of papers all at once takes away a lot of the emotional impact of tossing something my babies created.
CPA Lady says
– for the scribble scrabble junk done on scrap paper, or the super repetitive stuff, I throw that away ASAP. Before she was young enough to notice, I used to clean out her folder and throw it away in the trashcan in the daycare stairwell so it never even left the building. These days I have to leave it in my car and sneak it out into the outdoor recycling.
– for anything nicer looking, I bring it home and put it in a pile that I sort through a couple times a year. I take pictures of this stuff and then throw it away. I put the pictures in an art section of my annual photo book that I get printed from snap fish.
– for anything truly special, I keep. I probably have 10-15 of these items and my kid is 5. They live in an accordion file.
Anonanonanon says
I was on Wellbutrin off and on from my late teens to mid-twenties, and just messaged my PCP (who I did not see during that time) to say I was thinking about starting on it again, and she just immediately called in a prescription. Now I’m feeling weird about it. I’m not horrifically depressed or struggling like I was back when I used to take it, but I’m having a harder time than normal managing my ADD (which wellbutrin is an off-label treatment for) and I do get fairly severe seasonal depression every year (usually culminating in a meltdown in the March timeframe) so I wanted to nip those problems in the bud. I did do the questionnaire she sent, and of course I’ve been tired fairly often and thinking I’m not good enough sometimes and having less interest in things and struggling cognitively at work more than usual etc., but isn’t that pretty universal for being an adult in the Winter with small children?
Am I being too flippant about using an antidepressant? Why do I suddenly feel weird about getting what I asked for? I haven’t used them since I was appx. 24, should I risk having them affect me differently or causing me to do something I wouldn’t normally do (like make a weird decision at work) when I could just muddle through? The stakes seem higher now than when I was younger.
Sorry, these are bigger questions than strangers on the internet can answer, but would like reassurance this is normal.
lsw says
It’s been really helping me and I wasn’t sure if I was “bad enough” to use it, having had a terrible depressive episode years ago where I actually didn’t take any meds at all. But I am so glad I did! It’s helping me a lot.
So Anon says
It sounds like you are trying to be proactive and are not being flippant about antidepressants. My (very non-medical) opinion is that if you feel like you should try medication and your physician agrees, that is a perfectly acceptable thing to do. You do not need to get to the point of being unable to get out of bed before antidepressants become a viable option. I think there are times where we (or just me) have had to beg for the help I needed, so when the help comes willingly, it can feel a bit odd.
Anonanonanon says
You’re right, I don’t wait to be on oxygen before I decide I should maybe use my inhaler.
And yes! I think your last point is a lot of it. I was expecting to have to go in, explain how I feel, have it minimized by being told I should “relax” or “try yoga” (which I do) or “sleep and eat better” “take a walk outside” etc.
anne-on says
I didn’t want an ‘every day’ medicine, but Wellbutrin is helping me a lot. Especially in the winter/SAD season, when, like you, I struggle. I know I should (insert thing here – sit in front of my lamp, talk to friends, exercise, etc. etc.) but it’s hard to actually do those things. Wellbutrin is a critical part in helping me ‘stick to the plan’ (apologies to any other parents who now have that Pajanimals song stuck in their heads).
Anonymous says
I’ve also taken antidepressants for long periods of time on and off throughout my adult life. If I were in your shoes, I would feel weird that my doctor didn’t actually talk to me at all, examine me, or evaluate my health in a very meaningful way beyond a questionnaire [obviously I don’t have the whole story here, but that is what it sounds like]. I’d be questioning the quality of medical care I was receiving, which would make it harder to trust that I should take the medicine the doctor prescribed even though I wanted her to prescribe it. [I’m not saying you shouldn’t take it, just trying to help you understand a possible reason for your reaction to what happened]. Having said that, I do think at this point you know yourself, and Wellbutrin is pretty low risk, so the doctor’s actions are somewhat understandable.
Anonanonanon says
I receive health care through a big health system, so even though I have barely seen her, she has immediate access to all of my labs (which are ordered through my specialist and done multiple times a year) and knows that I am there in-person at least once every 4 weeks (for infusions for an auto-immune disease), and I did mention that I had been on it multiple times without issues and that due to already having so many visits for my labs and infusions I was trying to minimize office visits. The system does great about sharing information (for example, the eye doc knew I had autoimmune disease when I showed up and checked extra things, which I wouldn’t have thought to mention to her!) so I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a system in place to have my specialist ask screening questions from now on when I’m there anyway. She did say they will routinely send me the questionnaire to monitor how I’m doing.
Redux says
Help! Has anyone seen a plastic Elsa figurine in a brick and mortar store than I could use as a cake topper? I struck out at target, Walmart, the dollar store, and party city. They either had figurine packs for $40 or nothing at all. I feel like these things were all but ubiquitous when I wasn’t looking for them. Have you seen one somewhere recently?
lsw says
Could you check a toy store for a Little People set? Or maybe someone has one of the Duplo ones?
Anonymous says
If the cake isn’t already baked, I’d get a doll skirt cake pan (available in-store at Michaels) and a Barbie-sized Elsa doll at Target.
anon says
Sometimes grocery stores will have them (the type that do character cakes). Not sure what your local ones would be, but you could call them!
anon says
I checked one of my local groceries and they have Frozen 2…
https://www.kroger.com/onlinedeli/servlet/en/delibakery/cakes/licensed-cakes/frozen-ii-mythical-journey-frozen-mythical
lala says
If you’re willing to go smaller, look in the lego section. My son got a small lego set with Elsa in his stocking and I think it was under $10. It has a cute little Elsa figurine that I am going to use for his cake.
Emily S. says
My Kroger-made cake came with one. Are you baking your own? Maybe the grocery store would sell you one…
Anokha says
Our local Target sells little figurines that might work, though they only come in a set. Link: https://www.target.com/p/disney-frozen-2-adventure-collection-5-small-dolls-from-frozen-2/-/A-76157365
Redux says
Thanks all! Our local grocery stores do not do licensed character cakes, though the Walmart offers one of those screen-printed edible picture things… My plan was to get a grocery store sheet cake in blues and white and stick a figurine on top, but it’s proven easier said than done. Thank you for these ideas!
Anonymous says
My kids got the “Frozen II busy book” for Christmas. It comes with figurines of Anna, Elsa, and a bunch of other characters.
Redux says
Thanks!
Anon says
I’m having a pregnancy panic spiral today. My 12 week appointment is next week, and most days are great and positive, and then days like today I freak the **** out about a miscarriage. I know I’m being irrational. I know the odds are really good at this point. Some days are just hard.
7 more days until I know for sure.
Anon says
I was like you my first pregnancy (up until the end, frankly, because of some issues family and friends had) and everything was fine. Everyone told me I was being irrational, crazy, overly anxious, etc. And then came my second pregnancy this fall with a miscarriage at 9 weeks. And in the flux of many emotions mostly tied to grief and anger, a small part of me felt vindicated like “yes, I told you so, this is a real risk for me!” Lord only knows how it is going to go next pregnancy (I’m suspecting high on the anxiety side). So yes, there is still a risk. (I think) it’s normal to freak out. It gets better once you can feel your baby moving (but then you’ll freak out about whether the baby is moving too much or too little). The important thing to focus on is that “I am pregnant today”. And taking care of you and your today-pregnancy, without focusing on the next day. That and keeping busy, in my opinion, helps immensely. I always felt the best pregnant when I was super busy at work, probably because I wasn’t able to focus on all of my worries.
ElisaR says
i had the same problem – it actually never went away. I was so scared up until the last minute. I did not enjoy or have excitement because it all seemed so precarious. I say this so you know a. your reaction is not abnormal b. try try try to enjoy it (i know easier said than done). worrying doesn’t help anything at all, so just get excited!
Anon says
Same. Actually I was more scared at the end, especially the last few weeks when baby was full term and stillbirth rates start to rise, because by then losing her would have felt (to me) like losing a living child. I also hated feeling like I was solely responsible for her health, something that was borne out when I was shamed by a nurse when I was emergency induced at my 40 week appointment after baby failed her non-stress test and ultrasound (“Couldn’t you tell she wasn’t moving enough?” Um…no? She was moving plenty and I was doing Count the Kicks and everything and never noticed anything different). My child was 100% fine (just a very grabby baby who was grabbing her own cord and causing a dip in her heart rate) but I still think about how that comment would have stayed with me for the rest of my life if something had actually been seriously wrong.
Weirdly (?) once she was out, I had no anxiety, even though things go wrong with infants and children too. I think at least in part because I had my husband to share the responsibility and share in my grief equally if she died. Morbid, but that’s how I felt.
CDA says
I’m currently seven months pregnant with my first child, and my employer is pushing me to commit to a week-long international business trip when baby will be four/five months old. Is this feasible? If so, what might I want it to look like? I’m completely at a loss given all of the unknowns in the situation!
For reference, I receive two months of maternity leave, with the possibility of up to three months additional sick/disability leave after that if medically necessary. My employer would certainly be reasonable if I had to unexpectedly cancel the trip for an emergency situation, but they would not enjoy a “I thought I could but can’t/I changed my mind” discussion. The hope is to breastfeed, but whether that actually happens and for how long is unknown. My husband does have paternity leave he can take anytime in the first year.
All insight appreciated!
Anonymous says
I would not have been prepared to be apart from my baby for 1 week at 4-5 months post-partum. That would have been very negative for my mental and physical health. I struggled with pumping and being able to nurse in the mornings and evenings was crucial to maintain my ability to BF. If I had to pump for a whole week, I likely would have lost my supply and been unable to continue to BF. Other people have had luck with EP, so the impact would be less.
Could baby and DH come with you if you have to go on the trip?
Anonymous says
That seems awfully far in advance to be requiring a commitment, baby or no baby. I’d push back on leaving it open until a few weeks after you return to work. You cannot possibly know how you (and your husband, who will be left alone with the baby) will really feel about it until you are at least 3 months PP.
FWIW, if you’d proposed this trip to us while I was pregnant, I would have said “no way” and my husband would have said “sure!” After the baby arrived, I would have said “Yes, please, and this is just the excuse I need to quit BF’ing!” My husband would have said “No way on earth are you going gallivanting off around the globe and leaving me to take care of a baby on my own for a week.”
lala says
I think this is definitely person dependent, but I would say no. My third baby is 4.5 months right now, and I would not feel ready to leave him for an entire week. I went on trips when my second was 9 months (was still pumping) and it was not a problem. So i’m not sure when the switch happened . . .
Agree with the thought of DH and baby coming if that is an option.
Anonymous says
I think this is doable, but I agree it might be really tough, and unfortunately you won’t know how you feel about it until it’s time to go. If it were me, I would agree to commit, but try to push it off until baby is 8/9 months- is that a possibility? Basically as late as possible. That way you can try to build a stash of milk while you’re on leave, but that’s also old enough that formula and solids could be pretty established too.
CCLA says
I did not BF after the first couple of weeks so can’t comment on that point, but I do think there are a lot of positives to having DH solo parent for a week early on, which will likely help combat some of the default parenting habits that get locked in when mom is on mat leave. DH doesn’t necessarily need to even be on pat leave, baby could just be in whatever your regular system is then (daycare, nanny, etc.) with DH solo parenting around that.
I personally would have loved to take a work trip at that time (hello hotel room to myself!), and did happily go away on a couple of 4-7 days trips sans kids when kid 2 was around 4 months, but those were vacations and not work trips. But there is no way of knowing how you will feel. You say they wouldn’t enjoy it you were to change your mind later, but would they enjoy that less than you saying outright “no” now? I’d weigh those two options. If it were 6+ mos postpartum, I’d wholeheartedly say yes at risk of not looking like you want to come back at full speed, but at 4 mos I think most people are understanding that you’re still getting back into the swing of things.
Anonymous says
This may be a terrible idea, but if you want to find a way to say yes, could you ask them to cover the cost for baby + a caregiver to come with you if you decide you want that? Much as I was ready for a break from motherhood and the four month sleep regression around that time, I do not think I would have wanted to be gone for a full week. It was also a peak exhaustion point for me (see sleep regression), and my son was starting to get sick from daycare by then (started at 12 weeks).
Anonymous says
I don’t think this is a terrible idea at all. I had to travel for a week long conference when my daughter was 8 months. I definitely could have done it in the sense that the logistics would have been manageable, but it was much nicer for both me and my husband that we all went. My company didn’t cover the cost, but since the hotel room was paid for and my baby was a lap infant, all we had to do was pay the cost of my husband’s ticket. It’s definitely an option worth considering, at the very least.
Spirograph says
TL/DR, I wouldn’t commit to this. Better to say no now than to back out at the last minute.
Especially with your first baby, it’s hard to know how you’ll feel, both emotionally about leaving, and physically and mentally about life with an infant + work. It also depends a lot on what the work trip is for. My brain was still not firing on full cylinders at 5 months postpartum, because hormones, sleep deprivation, and just still adjusting to the mental load of being responsible for the life and wellbeing of a tiny person. I left my first around 7-8 months, and felt OK about it. That was for an international trip somewhere I was really excited to visit, and I knew the schedule wouldn’t be grueling.
How does your husband feel about having the baby by himself for a week at 4-5 months? Being a sole caretaker day and night for a week is very different than just being home on paternity leave during the day and still having support in the evenings/overnight. My husband didn’t do more than 1-2 nights away for the first 6 months or so after our first was born, and I would have vetoed him taking an optional week-long work trip. You would almost certainly need to be OK with formula unless you want to mail milk home.
I left my second baby around 4-5 months, but that was to go visit my sister for few days, not for a business trip. And also, second baby. :)
Coach Laura says
I would go if you can take your husband and the baby or a caregiver.
I’ll say that, after our first was born, I left my 6-week old for a 4-day conference (in Chicago) and left my husband home with the baby and a stash of pumped milk. It was optional but they wanted me to do it and it was only once a year, so to miss it was unfortunate. DH was still working then and hadn’t been alone with her at all as a primary caregiver. We did have his parents in town and they were great as backup caregivers, so that helped but he had her every night by himself.
Also, just to point out that by 4-5 months, if you wanted to leave the baby home, you wouldn’t have to use formula. By then, you should be able to have a freezer stash of milk, and could mail it home or bring home only the last few days of pumping if you thought you were getting close to running out. But I was ok with combo feeding by that point, with the idea that the absence of formula was not the goal but the ongoing presence of b-milk was the goal. Just a different opinion.
Anon says
I think you are within your right to question this. I think breast feeding and pumping is a big factor that is really hard to appreciate fully until you’ve done it. For example, how international? If you are still full time breastfeeding, you will likely have to pump on the plane, and depending on the length perhaps multiple times. Then when you are on the trip you will need to pencil in pumping sessions every few hours somewhere with privacy, will the trip’s schedule allow for this? (Note, if you bring your baby on the trip the plane becomes less of a factor as nursing on a plane is a lot easier than pumping, but during the day on the travels you will still need take a feed or pump break every few hours).
I don’t mean to turn you off or scare you from breast feeding. There are many great aspects to it if it works for you and your family, but work traveling when doing it is just
a little bit of a logistical puzzle.
This all being said, it’s hard to gauge from the internet how big of a deal this trip would be for your career. (I tend to overestimate how big things will be for my career than in retrospect realize if I had said no it would have been fine. So don’t unnecessarily push yourself).
Good luck!
Signed,
Someone who has pumped on a plane before. It’s as fun as it sounds.
anon says
Looking for some “this is totally normal” reassurance if possible! My 13 month old daughter (who recently moved up to the toddler room at daycare) has become so much more fussy, clingy, and just not as pleasant over the last month or so. She was such a happy and non-fussy baby (of course there were a few periods of time when she was teething or sick when that was not the case, but overall…) and now she is fussing about something more often than not. She hates being dressed, being put down on the changing table, she screams/cries if we put food on her plate she doesn’t like. She is also incredibly picky and has not been eating much food at all, and we end up just giving her what she will eat (peanut butter sandwich or veggie burger, sometimes pasta) to get her to eat SOMETHING. She won’t eat vegetables or fruits unless they are in puree/yogurt/veggie burger form. She took a few independent steps 2 weekends ago but now has seemingly no interest in walking. She does not have any words yet (that I can tell) which is also making me nervous.
I am sure this is all normal but it’s making me so sad and anxious. When will it get better?
Anon says
My kiddo was a capital-C Chill baby and is now a capital-N Nutjob at almost 21 months. She’s the absolute greatest thing even but also… good lord. She’s like a totally different person. She’s at daycare (has been since 4 months old) so I have no idea if that’s a factor or not. I chalk her – err – “independence” as just a character trait and age trait that comes with the territory.
We’ve somehow come to use the word “reset”. When she’s freaking out about something we say “reset” -and then pick her up, put her down, remove her from the situation, let the freak out come and go and then try again. It’s doing nothing helpful for our morning efficiency but it’s all we can do and seems to work. The freakouts are lessening little by little I think as she’s learning they won’t draw a big reaction from us.
I’d also strongly recommend following FeedingLittles on insta. There are nights when DD refuses food so she just drinks some milk and goes to bed. FL got me to be really comfortable with that concept, and others, that have helped through some recent eating standoffs.
Anonymom says
Normal! She’s just starting to figure out she’s an independent person who can voice her preferences, and is now choosing to do so, vigorously. It will change, but not “go back to normal” in the sense that she will return to a placid baby who just goes with whatever — you’re at the start of the “tantrum” stage. She’ll start crying less around…3.5? :) (or at least that’s my experience!). But, in asserting her independence she’s also starting to show more personality – so there’s upsides too if you can look past the screaming.
Anonymous says
It will get better. Baby wearing helped a lot with the separation anxiety. I liked the Ergo for back wearing. The physical closeness seemed to provide reassurance. At age 1-2, my kids often preferred to eat from our plates. And ate much better when we were eating with them.
Anonymous says
This is normal. She also is not growing as fast as she used to and thus probably doesn’t need to eat as much.
anon says
Thanks everyone for the reassurance and suggestions – really needed it today!!!
Anon says
Totally normal! That’s a very hard age – they are starting to form opinions but don’t have the words to express them. To the extent you can, giving choices can help. Even if it’s just like “Do you want to wear this shirt or that shirt?” Even if she can’t use words, she can point to what she wants and it gives her a feeling of control. Things got a lot better for us around 16 months when she had more language. There are definitely still irrational meltdowns but we generally know the reason and can sometimes fix it, and when we can’t we can usually communicate the reason why.
And in my experience little to no words at that age is also totally normal. Mine got one word at 13.5 months, and it wasn’t an exciting one (“dat”). Everything was “dat?” for months. Our ped wanted I think 10 words by 15 months and she just baaarely had that. There was a big explosion around 16 months when she got dozens of words, then a HUGE explosion at 18 months where she got hundreds of words and started combining them, and now at 22 she speaks in 4-5 word sentences. I know it’s hard not to worry (I did) but language happens really suddenly, and the age of first word has more to do with their control of their mouth than anything to do with their understanding of language.
anon says
I did not read a single parenting book until my oldest turned one – and promptly ordered 10 on amazon. Pardon the language, but sh** gets real right around that time!
I wouldn’t worry. Toddlers are tough. But also delightful.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Echoing that this is normal. I have an almost 4 year old and a 15 month old and the younger one is a hot mess right now. Still cute but definitely entering into toddler hood, with the hating diaper changes, being picky with food and just general random screaming. He was a totally chill baby so I was dreading this transition to toddlerhood even though I knew it was coming. Hang in there.
If it makes you feel better, my older one didn’t really have words until around 15-16 months and he’s super chatty now. He also still has tantrums but they are decreasing (gradually)! And he can play independently for a while without clinging to us. Amazing!
Anon says
suggestions for books for toddlers that deal with mommy going away and then coming back. not about the kid going to school and missing mommy, but more about kid still being at home and mommy going to work or vacation, etc.
Anon says
My Mom, the Lawyer?
Emily S. says
Daniel Tiger has a “Mama Travels for Work” about Jodi’s mom traveling for work and coming back. We’ve used that book, episode, and activities from both when DH traveled for fun.
Pigpen's Mama says
We like Bunny’s Staycation (link to follow).
Anonymous says
Bunny’s Staycation
Io says
Llama Llama Gram and Grandpa has Llama staying with grandparents while mom goes… Somewhere?
Lily says
Any anti-Montessori opinions out there? There is a new Montessori preschool in our neighborhood that looks great. Wondering what questions we should be asking before getting on the waitlist.
Anon says
i am not anti-montessori, in general i think it is great! just keep in mind that like any kind of school, different things are the right fit for different kids. our neighbor growing up had 3 boys. the oldest and youngest were flourishing and the middle one was a ‘problem child’ at school. once he switched to a more structured environment he flourished.
Anon says
Me! Fought DH hard about that – we now have an awesome church play-based preschool that my daughter RUNS into every morning because she’s so excited to go. A lot of this is probably specific to our child though, so YMMV. Things that I wasn’t a fan of, in no particular order.
My child is exceptionally bright, very independent, and very stubborn. I think, for her, preschool should be a place to explore routine, group things, structure etc. My impression from the montessori schools is that they give a lot of freedom to the kids to focus on what they want to – my child gets that all day at home and I would prefer to start encouraging opposite traits – responding to an authority figure who is not a parent, doing things she doesn’t necessarily love doing, etc (I think they call this building resilience, tolerance, whatever). Structured interaction was the value-add we wanted from preschool and Montessori seemed too loose for us on that.
I don’t view preschool as school – I wanted a traditional play-based preschool. Kiddo is going to have many, many, many years of formal schooling ahead of her, and while I think introducing her to structure and a classroom are good, the emphasis on early learning and practical skills was a little heavy for my taste.
A lot of the Montessori schools were very calm, quiet, introspective places (maybe just an oddity in our area?). My kiddo is large, loud, and very active. For her the boisterousness of play-based programs is a much better fit.
Potty training – I have heard horror stories from parents in my neighborhood about the local montessori schools and how they handle potty training – wasn’t something I wanted to put my kiddo through. I’m sure their methods work, but we’re a little more relaxed about pretty much everything.
anon says
Yeah, funny you said calm and quiet. We toured our neighborhood montessori school and my husband found it slightly creepy! Just so quiet and ordered! And you mentioned potty training, which is a big complaint of parents who send their kids there. I’m not sure what they do differently, I just know people have had issues.
Only other knock on Montessori is that they strongly discourage school switching in our area – they need the older kids to stay to fill up the classes appropriately. So if there’s a private school with an early entry point and you put your kid in (before kindergarten), younger siblings will not get a place.
I like our traditional preschool because it has elements of montessori – the kids pour their water into their cups and learn manners and sometimes older and younger kids are mixed up together, but it’s a lot more relaxed. I think this is very much dependent on specific schools though and not necessarily on a method!
Montessori mom says
We visited two different Montessori daycare / preschools and they were quite different. One was too quite and ordered – just felt odd. The other followed a very traditional Montessori curriculum and philosophy but had such a warm and cheerfulness to it, with lots of outside tine and lovely classrooms and kind teachers. So it really depends. And the way they talk about “work” can sound serious but really it’s just adorable children helping each other wash their breakfast trays :)