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I’m so excited that Nordstrom now carries a selection of & Other Stories goods. I love this brand for its fun knits, flowy dresses, and sharp selection of leather accessories.
My pick is this classic leather tote. This spacious tote is roomy enough to hold all your essentials, but slim enough to tuck under your arm. The adjustable shoulder strap ensures a perfect fit.
This versatile bag is polished enough for the office but can go right into the weekend — use it to elevate your favorite jeans and tee.
& Other Stories’s Leather Tote is $199 at Nordstrom and available in “cognac,” pictured, as well as black. (I’d love to see this in a rich navy or even light ivory.)
Sales of note for 11.30.23…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – Limited-Time Sale of 11,000+ items; up to 25% off select women’s coats & jackets (ends 12/6); Nike up to 25% off (ends 12/2); markdowns include big deals on UGG, Natori, Marc Fisher LTD, Vionic and more!
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off sale styles
- Banana Republic – 40% off your purchase, including cashmere; up to 60% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 25% off $125+
- J.Crew – 50% off women’s styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- Lands’ End – Up to 70% off everything; free shipping (readers love the cashmere)
- Summersalt – 30% off everything; up to 60% off select styles (this reader-favorite sweater blazer is down to $75)
- Talbots – 30% off entire purchase, including all markdowns — readers love this cashmere boatneck and this cashmere cardigan, as well as their sweater blazers in general
- Zappos – 35,000+ women’s sale items! Check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kid shoe brands on sale.
Kid/Family Sales
- BabyJogger – 25% off 3 items
- Crate & Kids – Toy & gift event: up to 50% off everything; save 10% off full price items
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 50% off everything; extra 30% off sale styles
- Ergobaby – 40% off Omni Breeze Carrier, 25% off Evolve 3-in-1 bouncer, $100 off Metro+ Strollers
- Graco – Up to 30% off car seats
- Strolleria – 25% off Wonderfold wagons, and additional deals on dadada, Cybex, and Peg Perego
- Walmart – Savings on Maxi-Cosi car seats, adventure wagons, rocker recliners, security cameras and more!
Sales of note for 11.30.23…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – Limited-Time Sale of 11,000+ items; up to 25% off select women’s coats & jackets (ends 12/6); Nike up to 25% off (ends 12/2); markdowns include big deals on UGG, Natori, Marc Fisher LTD, Vionic and more!
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off sale styles
- Banana Republic – 40% off your purchase, including cashmere; up to 60% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 25% off $125+
- J.Crew – 50% off women’s styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- Lands’ End – Up to 70% off everything; free shipping (readers love the cashmere)
- Summersalt – 30% off everything; up to 60% off select styles (this reader-favorite sweater blazer is down to $75)
- Talbots – 30% off entire purchase, including all markdowns — readers love this cashmere boatneck and this cashmere cardigan, as well as their sweater blazers in general
- Zappos – 35,000+ women’s sale items! Check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kid shoe brands on sale.
Kid/Family Sales
- BabyJogger – 25% off 3 items
- Crate & Kids – Toy & gift event: up to 50% off everything; save 10% off full price items
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 50% off everything; extra 30% off sale styles
- Ergobaby – 40% off Omni Breeze Carrier, 25% off Evolve 3-in-1 bouncer, $100 off Metro+ Strollers
- Graco – Up to 30% off car seats
- Strolleria – 25% off Wonderfold wagons, and additional deals on dadada, Cybex, and Peg Perego
- Walmart – Savings on Maxi-Cosi car seats, adventure wagons, rocker recliners, security cameras and more!
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
AwayEmily says
We just got the word that our baby’s daycare spot opens up in a month…she’ll be about 3 months old, which is six weeks earlier than we sent our other kids. We are definitely sending her (we lose the spot if we delay), and we LOVE the daycare (our other two kids went there), but I’m still feeling that AAUUUGHH IT’S TOO SOON feeling. Anyone want to offer some reassuring stories about how much their tiny babies thrived at daycare?
Anonymous says
My oldest went at 11 weeks. If you can swing it, I would pay for the spot and keep the baby home another month. There is so much going on with colds and stuff now and 12 weeks is young. Baby will be right home with colds.
EDAnon says
+1 you are paying either way so you should do what makes you happy. You don’t have to use the spot just because you paid for it.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Aww congrats on getting the spot! My kids weren’t super young when they started (4-6 months) but I have such fond memories of their first infant teachers. They were seriously amazing – they had so much experience with babies, were loving and attentive and really helped us out as new parents too. I am so grateful my kids had them as their first teachers/caregivers. If you trust this daycare, then I guarantee these infant teachers love babies and will do whatever they can to make this a good experience – it takes a village and all that.
FVNC says
My oldest started daycare right at 3 months, and was totally fine. Her teachers loved snuggling with her, and gave her a little extra TLC since she was such a tiny peanut. She’s a thriving 8 year old now.
That said, if you can afford to pay for the spot and keep her home, I’d do that. If not, she’ll be fine. My daughter started daycare in January, in the middle of cold and flu season; thankfully, she stayed pretty healthy. Good luck with your decision and congrats on your little one!
Mary Moo Cow says
Yes! We paid for part-time but had no qualms about keeping our babies home on random days or picking them up early (and daycare let us.) But they both did so well! Reaching for their caregivers when we dropped them off and smiling at us when we picked them up. I loved seeing the photos of them with the other babies: that was something I couldn’t provide at home. Maybe look back at photos of your other kids to reassure yourself? On the other hand, your feelings are totally valid.
Anon says
You can save the spot by paying and not sending her, right? We did that for about a month (because we had travel and other stuff planned, not because we thought our kid was too young to go). I think a 3 month old will be fine at daycare, but just wanted to point out that’s an option if you’re really worried.
HSAL says
My oldest went at ten weeks and my twins went at twelve weeks. The infant teachers are just so good that I knew they were in better hands than mine. Would shorter days at the start make you feel better? I could have done 12 weeks with my first but I wanted to go back to work right before Christmas to ease back in while things were slow, plus having built-in days off.
Anon says
+1 my daughter started daycare as a toddler, but it was over the summer so she didn’t go for a full day until a couple months after she’d started. It may not have been necessary, but I think it made all of us feel better and the teachers commented on how nice the gradual transition had been for her.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
We started DS #1 at 4 months, and DS #2 at 3 months. For DS #2, we had a full time spot but he also spent 2 days a week home with my Mom until he was about 9 months because we had the option. DS #1 was straight, no chaser!
Both loved it, and I just think the teachers in the baby rooms are a special kind of soul given how they love on our kids. And you will likely feel different in a month, too!
Anon says
Both of my kids went back at 10 weeks (for half days while I just caught up on emails from home) and then full time at 11 weeks. The first one was really tough on me, but the teachers cared so much for babies that within a few days it truly was like dropping her off with a baby-raising-expert-aunt. I was actually excited to drop off my second because I knew he was in better hands than my own.
Both of mine have been in full time care 7am-5:30pm their entire lives (other than 2020 which was horrible for all of us) and are absolutely thriving in elementary school. The only difference between their friends who were home with mom the entire time vs those who have been in daycare from birth vs those who were a combo, was in Kindergarten when several kids struggled for the first few months without a nap and with so many kids around. But by the middle of K on, it’s been no difference.
The biggest difference has been kids whose parents are elementary teachers. You can tell those parents took the time to teach their kids how to read during the pandemic, and everyone else (whether both parents work or not) was slower to catch back up.
For the record – also no difference in formula vs bfeed. No difference in cloth vs disposable. No difference in first food at 4 months vs 12 months. Or any of the other mommywars topics that feel so monumental when they’re small. I’m pretty sure as long as you love them and help them grow, it all evens out. I wish I could go back and get my over-anxious self to calm the eff down about all those things I agonized over at the beginning.
Anonymous says
FWIW we are not K teachers but our kids learned to read during the pandemic ;). Tbh my oldest was 8 and taught my PKer.
Anon says
I’m impressed that some five year olds still want to nap. How do I get one of those kids?
Anon says
I was one of those kids but did not get one of those kids.
GCA says
I was not one of those kids and did not get one of those kids (worse, I was an early riser who has an earlier riser) – I think it is karma…
Anon says
I have one of those kids but we don’t let her nap at home most of the time because it would result in an insanely late bedtime. She’s basically never napped at school (only occasionally between ages 1 and 2) and has been fine, so I assume kindergarten will be fine.
AwayEmily says
I love this, thank you for helping me put it into perspective.
Anonymous says
Mine went at just shy of 4 months, and although she didn’t nap a bit the first day, she settled in really quickly. I love the pictures of her from her first day – just staring wide-eyed and smiling at all the other babies. There’s another picture of her from a couple weeks later hanging out with another baby, and the two of them are now BFFs in the young toddler room (greeting each other with AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE every day). The teachers in the baby room are absolute wizards.
Anonymous says
My oldest started day care right at six weeks old (foster baby: work wouldn’t grant me mat leave with him, which is total BS but that’s another story). I think this is personality dependent, but he’s very outgoing, well adjusted and bonded to me and my husband. He’s 5 now. FWIW he didn’t get sick, but I also think that was good genes and luck. Tl;dr – I think your baby will be fine but also think it’s ok to wait if you’re not ready. It seems a little crazy to me to pay for a spot you’re not using, but then again these are crazy times.
AwayEmily says
Thanks all. TBH I’m not super worried about the sickness aspect — her big brother is in the same daycare and her sister is in kindergarten, so she is very far from being in a first-kid germ-free bubble. I’m not sure there’s a huge added value for keeping her home an extra month just to avoid the germs she’s likely getting secondhand exposure to anyway (her brother is not the best at personal space).
And if I’m being honest, I am doing this partly for my own mental health. Her brother was home for five months and by the end of it I felt resentful and like I was losing myself. I don’t want to get to that point again. I really liked the idea to do part-time for the first month…I may bring her late each day so she can get her first nap in at home.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Part time sounds like a great idea for you! As you know, your mental health is so important and if mom and dad are happy, baby will be fine, regardless of other circumstances. I agree with that poster up thread who said that daycare v. SAH, b-fed v. formula, baby led weaning v. puree and any of those other decisions that feel so monumental at the time really don’t matter once kids are older.
Anona says
My favorite parenting hack is having more childcare than I need. I have a minute to myself, which I love. Send her, and enjoy a few last weeks of leave where you get to see your friends, nap, and enjoy the time you do have with your kids.
AwayEmily says
And your comment also made me realize — having the baby in childcare (even just part-time) means I can make room for more one-on-one time with the big kids, which I’ve really been missing (as have they) and will be much tougher to do once I start back at work full-time. Thanks for helping me see the positive side of it.
Anona says
LOVE that – and rest for you makes you a better mom to the big kids too. Enjoy it!
GCA says
I like the idea of sending her part-time for a month and getting one good nap in at home! In the infant room there isn’t really a schedule anyway, it’s all driven by baby naps and feeding, so you wouldn’t be disrupting much by bringing her in at, say, 10am. My kids were terrible infant-room nappers, so they were always wiped out at the end of the day and constantly catching colds for the first few months.
anonM says
AwayEmily – I also think if DD is not ready/happy, you’ll be able to tell because it’s not your first rodeo. Looking back on my first kiddo, he was not ready/happy at his first daycare/with first teacher. (I’m excluding the normal first week hardships from this.) I just didn’t know what to look for/trust myself, etc. ! (FWIW, my second didn’t go until much later because COVID, but I think she would have been just fine at 3 mo because at 10 she barely hugged me goodbye, loved loved the teacher, the teacher knew her favorite lullaby song – S/O to Celine Dion, etc.) If a month in she still seems upset to go, then reassess. You’ve got this!
AwayEmily says
That is a great point. Now that I have two kids and five daycares worth of comparison, I should be able to evaluate a bit better whether it’s working for her. I also sent a panicked text this morning to a mom friend whose baby also was in this daycare and she immediately wrote me back about five paragraphs’ worth of praise about the baby room and how well the teachers communicate and care for the babies, so I’m feeling good!
Anonymous says
I have my first in-person conference in a long time coming up in about a month (my job is fully remote but I’m planning to attend in person). In the pre-pandemic days, my work clothes mostly came from Ann Taylor, but I think I’ve bumped up from a size 18 to a 20 and they only go up to size 18 (my size 18 suiting is too tight, some of the stretchy dresses still work though). Any recommendations for size 20 suiting separates? Thanks!
Anonymous says
Talbots. Also are you sure about suiting separates? I just got back from a conference and people were wearing dresses, black pants, blouses. Maybe a blazer. But definitely nothing that even resembled a suiting separate. I rented a few Ralph Lauren dresses on RTR and felt great.
Anon says
Following, same boat. I just had a meeting in NY where I paired boden wrap dresses and one boden sweater dress in a 20 with two 18 tweed blazers from AT that I already bought earlier this year. Other places I looked include Land’s End (the fit is terrible on me, I think I need to take it to a tailor, but it’s the closest thing I have to “formal” suiting so I kept it), Talbot’s (didn’t like the cuts) and J. Crew (FYI, I wear a 3X there, check the size chart because it runs small, again nothing I loved enough to keep but happy they have expanded their sizing). May your luck be better than mine! Look out for pastel colored blazer and short combos and blazers with crop tops and yoga pants; the styling leaves much to be desired.
Anonymous says
I didn’t know Boden and J.Crew had expanded sizing! That’s a good tip :)
Anonymous says
I agree Talbots might be your best bet for actual suits. I would either go in person or order multiple sizes (and size down). Talbots takes the concept of vanity sizing to a new level.
I also agree that the in-person conferences I have been to are more business casual – and I work in a very conservative legal area. For my next conference I am wearing my eileen fisher crepe pants (comes in plus sizes), a blouse, and a long blazer (all from Nordstrom).
I am lucky that I have two suits that still fit because it has been very hard to find any new suits in plus sizes. Nordstrom used to have some options – but they have very low inventory. I’m hoping inventory will improve by next fall when I anticipate I may have to go back to multiple weeks of suit wearing. Otherwise I am not sure what I will do – bespoke suits?!
Anon Lawyer says
Check Eloquii and Universal Standard. Eloquii’s stuff is often too trendy for conservative jobs but I bought a basic black pants suit from them that I’m happy with. (Note that they run larger than Ann Taylor so you’d probably be an 18 not a 20). Universal Standard has conservative work separates too. They’re pricy but I’ve heard good reviews.
Anonymous says
A poll: after how long would you send your kiddo back to school (PK and K if it matters) after a cold when they are still coughing? Both kids have had the cough for two weeks. It’s improving but lingering and is more of a dry cough than the hacking one at the outset. Noses no longer running, fevers long gone. Not COVID (yes, PCR tested).
Pediatrician said they aren’t contagious. But the coughing is there. In Before Times I’d have sent them back already. The elem school nurse said she’d “prefer the cough gone” but left it at that.
Boston Legal Eagle says
My younger one often ends his colds with a week + of coughing so I’d send them back now. I base it on how he’s generally acting and if he just has a runny nose and/or cough but is otherwise energetic and living his normal toddler life, he goes back.
Anonymous says
Does the school not care? In that case, I’d send my kid back as soon as (1) they feel up to it, (2) it’s not gross (big sneezes, etc.), and (3) Dr. says it’s not contagious.
Cb says
Yep, me too! I had a bad illness a few years back and coughed for 6 weeks!
Anonymous says
I’d have sent them back a week ago
Anonymous says
I’m not sure I’d have kept them home at all for a cold, other than a bad day or two. There’s no way 2 weeks later with a lingering cough they’d still be at home. I get that we’re in a pandemic (especially in my large blue city), but where I am there’s no remote instruction unless you have Covid, and I can’t give up school for that long.
Anon says
Our daycare policy excludes coughing kids and we’ve always tried to follow that. However, my kid never coughs for more than a couple days after a cold. Keeping them home for two weeks seems really excessive to me, and I would definitely send them back now.
Mm says
A doctor friend just told me that it is normal for a cough post-viral infection to last 2-4 weeks. That would be a long time to keep them home. The most proven remedy he suggested is to give them a small spoonful of honey before bed at night.
Anon says
Honey has worked well for us. We started because you can’t give kids under 6 (I think?) cough syrup, but apparently there are studies that honey is more effective than cough syrup anyway. You can dissolve it in water or juice if your kid doesn’t want to just eat a spoon of honey.
Spirograph says
*I* eat a spoonful of honey before bed when I have a cough! It definitely feels more effective than cough syrup, and tastes way better. Lingering nighttime coughs are the worst, mine always last weeks beyond the actual cold. I would not keep them home from school for a cough with no other symptoms and a negative PCR.
Maybe they can wear a mask if it makes people feel more comfortable?
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1 to this. Our old ped (who I loved!) told me up to 6 weeks for a lingering cough!
I also agree that honey in the AM and before bed seems to help. I throw in some fresh ginger, turmeric, and cinnamon when possible, but this AM just gave DS #2 a spoonful of the stuff plain.
Anonymous says
If all symptoms are definitely improving, it’s not Covid or anything else on a school exclusion list, there’s no fever, and they can keep up with regular daily activities, I think it’s fine to send them back. I don’t think it’s possible to be completely cough- and snot-free at this time of year.
Anon says
I would have sent them back as soon as I had the negative PCR.
Anonymous says
Really? They had a nasty cold! It just wasn’t COVID.
Anon says
By the time you had PCR results they would no longer be infectious. Obviously if they still feel bad, they should stay home, but in my city it takes 3-5 days for PCR results and most people are recovered from a cold by then except for the post-viral cough.
So Anon says
My kids both had colds last week with a cough. I kept them home when they were actually feeling under the weather, which was mostly low energy. I probably kept them home a day longer than I would have in the before times. In my experience (and per my ped), a cough can last a few weeks after the rest of the illness resolves. I spoke with my kids’ school nurse, and she indicated that they were welcome back at school with a negative covid test and when they were improving and could handle the school day. Short version – when they have the energy to make it through a day and are not contagious.
Anonymous says
Y’all made me feel better. The school nurse made me feel like I was sending them in with the chicken pox when I asked- but she didn’t say no.
I also just think in these times it’s…icky…to be near someone still coughing but I’m sick of them being home! They are fine!
Anonymous says
My husband and daughter both had a bad virus in December with “post-viral cough” that lasted for well over a month. We sent daughter back to daycare as soon as she felt better and other symptoms were clear.
Anon says
I keep them home about 3 days + negative Covid PCR. As long as the symptoms are improving and they’re through the snottiest days I send them back. My kids still wear masks, though, so I’m less worried about the lingering coughs.
It is funny, though – in the before times I wouldn’t think it necessary to stay home for a cold, but now I’m realizing just how much illness we accepted as normal. A cold might be mild but it’s still an illness! Going forward I will keep kids home for at least a day or two, even once the Covid requirements are lifted. And probably have them wear a mask until they are fully better.
Anon says
I sent mine back (PK) once her fever was gone for 24 hours (which took a week) and she felt and acted normal. Her cough is now into its second week, but it’s just drainage from the congestion on the tail end from this crazy cold she got. Doctor confirmed just viral, not strep, not COVID, not flu (all tested negative) so I am not too fussed.
Def overthinking this but am ok with that says
How do you communicate your parenting style or philosophy to a new nanny, and what would you want to convey to them? We have a new nanny starting soon and we never really did this because our oldest was just so little but now I’m thinking of putting together a short “style guide” for lack of a better word. Something that communicates how we handle tantrums and outbursts, our philosophy around eating, discipline, etc.
So far I’ve got:
-All feelings are ok, all behaviors are not
-Ellyn Satter’s division of responsibility re eating
-A few scripts taken from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen
Disclaimer: I *know* this is extra, but we have a sensitive older kiddo and the consistency around messaging, particularly around validating feelings and eating, is important to me. I’m not expecting the nanny to follow this to the letter – I think kids really do benefit from being adaptable. The written list is mostly for me so I don’t forget something important. I think it gets harder to step in and correct what you think is a mistake the longer you are with a nanny so I want to front load as much as possible.
Spirograph says
I don’t think it’s that extra, but I also have sensitive kids that need consistency.
If you feel strongly about fostering independence, kids doing their own clean-up, solving their own problems, etc, I would also include that.
Do you have if-then consequences for specific behaviors? (for example, we loosely do 1-2-3 magic in our house, but intentionally hurting someone physically is an immediate 3 and time out to cool down) I would share those, not with the expectation that the nanny mirror them exactly, but because it shows your perspective on where the hard lines are.
So Anon says
Can you offer a few concrete examples that you think will likely arise? For example, if you know that your oldest gets angry and stomps off to their room, tell your nanny how you want that handled. If Child A gets angry and stomps to his room, that is fine. Leave Child A alone until Child A emerges from their room. If Child B eats only the strawberries from their snack, then that is ok with us. We do not ask our children to eat everything on their plate or take a bite of everything.
Anonymous says
I think this is good advice. My easy kid has a tough time with transitions, so I’d just give examples like “give kid A a 5 minute warning before it’s time to leave the park”. I think How to Talk is a quick read and i wouldn’t find it unreasonable to ask your nanny to skim it for strategies.
Anonymous says
Ummmmm. I’d rethink this. My nanny doesn’t know or care what my philosophy is or why I parent the way I do. I just tell her what to do. “Here’s what you serve for lunch, don’t pressure them to eat, if they are hungry later here are the snack options.” Focus on the concrete things you actually expect her to do.
Anon says
This.
anon says
Yup.
Realist says
I think this is great, but isn’t just a list. This needs to be a day one conversation and then a daily check in for at least the first couple of weeks. A good nanny will appreciate the guidance. Another thing you might want to do is lurk on something like the subreddit for nannies. It is definitely a thing where some nannies feel the parents have removed all reasonable disciplinary tools but the parents aren’t the ones dealing with the bad behavior all day. Whatever you are doing needs to work for you and the nanny or you need to find a nanny that is a better fit.
Anon says
We’ve employed 4/5 nannies over the years, and I find whether or not our style meshes tends to be more innate. I have better luck asking them work a few full days on weekends (paid of course) before hiring them full time to get a sense for whether we seem to align than trying to impart a style that doesn’t match their natural pace. I can usually tell within a few days whether I think we align or they will be a good fit with our family.
Career nannies in particular have their own style of discipline, and I’ve never had good luck changing it. I agree it’s really helpful to have a list of items that can scaffold their work (Kid A benefits from extra time, Kid B needs a protein snack or melts down, etc.), but I’ve never really been able to change how they fundamentally care for my kids, for better or wrose.
Anon says
my soon to be 4 year old twins have asked for a robot for their bday? any ideas? ideally one that isn’t too obnoxious sounding
Spirograph says
What do they want the robot to do? My kids really like the Coderpillar, but 1. it does play sounds, and 2. it just rolls around the floor, no moveable arms or anything.
AwayEmily says
My MIL gave my kids this weird remote control robot from Amazon (“SteamPrime Robots for Kids Infrared Remote Control Robot Toys”). It has provided SO much fun for them for literally two years. It does make noise but it’s strangely charming — it speaks in an accent and says unintentionally hilarious things. Also it’s not a huge investment.
AwayEmily says
following up on this — it has a remote control and you can make it move around/dance/etc. No coding or anything particularly “enriching,” it is just a fun remote control robot. Definitely suitable for a 3yo (my kid got it for his third birthday and was able to play with it immediately), but older kids and even adults enjoy it too.
octagon says
+1, we got one two years ago and it still gets played with from time to time. It was the product of a Dec. 23rd freakout from DH (“we don’t have enough toys for Christmas!” … sigh) and I totally rolled my eyes but it has far exceeded my expectations.
Anon says
Botley the Coding Robot. You can program it to do things (does not require ability to read). My kid loved it for a couple years – long shelf life for a toy.
Anon says
looks cool, but says it is for 5+ and i think my kids tend to be on the slower side with toys that require lots of instructions. do you think a 4 year old can use it?
Anon says
I do. It has a remote with pictures on it, and you push the order of things you want the robot to do: turn left, do a spin, make a beep noise, then “go.” If you kids can do Candy Land, it’s about at that level.
There are more advanced things you can program it to do too, but I think most 4-year-olds could manage the basic stuff.
OP says
i have no idea what they want it to do, but i do like the idea of something that isn’t just like a ‘push a button’ toy
DLC says
My kid got this Coding Robot from Fisher Price when he was four and he still plays with it a year and a half later. It does make noise, but isnt too annoying.
https://shop.mattel.com/products/code-n-learn-kinderbot-electronic-toy-fisher-price-hgm79
Another fun thing might be to get them old school transformers, if you want somethingv quiet. Not technically a robot, but still cool, I think.
Lily says
We’re going to be repainting and re-carpeting our kids’ rooms (1 year old and 3 year old girls) and looking for color combo suggestions, as I am terrible at picking out colors. So far I’ve found the three colors below as potential options (one color per room), but need to figure out what carpet color (cream? taupe? brown? gray?) would go best, and also open to other suggestions for colors. I’m just worried that we will get tired of the colors and I’d like to not have to repaint until they are teenagers at least :)
Have any particular colors for kids’ rooms worked out great for you? TIA!
https://www.farrow-ball.com/en-us/paint-colours/pale-hound
https://www.farrow-ball.com/en-us/paint-colours/brassica
https://www.farrow-ball.com/en-us/paint-colours/calamine
Anon says
i like doing white walls with a color as an accent wall, or lighter shades. Like if you have a pink loving girl, something more like Benjamin Moore Pink Bliss. also- i’d find an interior designer to help you with this brief project bc lighting makes a huge difference in paint colors
Anonymous says
I love F&B, and I recently painted a couple of rooms with F&B paint. One thing to note: the thing that makes F&B paint beautiful is also what makes it sometimes bad for kids, which is that the the paint is very delicate. It gives you that lovely character, but it’s harder to clean and marks easily.
That said: I recently did Peignoir plus Charleston Gray (which is really more brown than gray) in a guest room, and love it. My son’s room is Light Blue (caveat that in his room, it looks more green than blue).
Definitely test test test. Because the colors are so delicate, they look different depending on the room and the light. And F&B has a weird tendency to label colors in a way that directly contradicts how they look.
As an alternative, I’ve recently been impressed with Magnolia’s paints (my painter likes them too). They have a ton of moody colors, if that’s something you like. And the quality is really high.
Anon says
I would wait and let them choose paint colors in early elementary school. Asking them to have the paint colors you chose for them as babies until they’re teenagers seems kind of unfair. Also walls usually need to be painted more frequently than every 15 years.
Anon says
We color matched F&B to benjamin moore twice for kids rooms facing different directions with Dimity on the walls and Pink Ground on the ceiling and I loved it both times. Dimity has underlying red tones that the pink ceiling brought out.
We painted our boy/girl shared room Borrowed Light and I loved that too. Again matched (and walls in Eggshell). for a bright stairwell we used Pale Powder and that brought me great joy.
I do think pulling from F&B is helpful because it’s a limited universe of colors. How bright are the rooms? I would not have gotten tired of any of the above!
Sleepy Anon says
I’m crowdsourcing ideas for why my baby doesn’t sleep to discuss with his doctor (I trust her expertise, but I like to be prepared ;) He turns a year old tomorrow and has been a horrendous sleeper from birth – he’s slept one 6-hour stretch in his life and that was last month. Part of it is bad habit (we nurse or rock to sleep), but mostly I think he is truly uncomfortable/in pain. Lots of gas, arches his back, coughs, wakes up crying and squirming even when I’m holding him or he’s with me in bed, etc. He is on a strong iron supplement that I suspect is contributing, but it’s been more or less like this since he was born. (He’s also a little Houdini that gets twisted in his pajamas and sleep sacks – even sometimes breaking out of the sack – and that doesn’t help!)
He’s a great daytime napper, and is such a happy, pleasant, chill baby during the day. It’s just at night something isn’t right. Could it be reflux? Food sensitivity? Would that just manifest at night?
I’ve been waiting a year for him to grow out of it and it’s not happening! (We were up every 1.5 hours last night…)
AwayEmily says
Oh my goodness I’m so sorry, this sounds really tough on him and on you! I don’t have any advice as my kids were always the opposite (great night sleepers and horrendous nappers). And my normal contribution of “this is probably a phase” doesn’t really apply here since it’s been a year. Anyway I don’t have anything particularly useful to say, but if the pediatrician doesn’t offer anything helpful maybe some people on here could give a recommendation for a sleep consultant — this seems like it’s worth hiring someone with a lot of experience (as opposed to just doing an online course or whatever). Good luck — you are a great mom for taking care of him so well through all this.
Anon says
Thanks for the encouragement! And yes, I’m hitting my breaking point where I probably need to do something along the lines of sleep training, though I want to sort out any physical issues first. (FWIW he’s my third, and the other two were bad sleepers but they were still significantly better by this age, even with the rock to sleep habit…so I was able to convince myself “this phase” would end before long. Ha!)
Anona says
You are a rockstar for hanging in there for so long! I wish I would have thought of this with my younger kids, but you can always check with a local agency to see if you hire a few nights of overnight care. I should have done this when I was so tired, I was almost driving through stop lights after my second refused to sleep overnight!
For my suggestion for the doctor, that same kid had all kinds of food intolerances…including lactose. Apparently, the formula we were feeding him had a higher lactose than other formulas. I recall exactly, but we went from a formula marketed for “supplementing bre@st feeding” to just a regular formula, and he stopped spitting up on me all the time on the doctor’s advice.
So Anon says
I would definitely talk to your pediatrician. Is the iron to address a specific issue? To me (not a doctor), I question whether this could be a GI issue. I would consider asking for a referral to pediatric GI who may be able to see a pattern or identify whether there are issues that could be keeping your kiddo from sleeping well.
Sleepy Anon says
That’s a good thought, I will bring it up. And yes, he was found to have very low iron/anemia at 9 months, and if the supplement doesn’t help he may need to see a hematologist. Though he certainly seems to have a lot of energy for a kid that also doesn’t sleep at night! I feel like I’m trying to put together a bunch of little puzzle pieces to see what’s medical and what’s maybe more behavioral (I realize that’s the job of a doctor, but healthcare is so disjointed these days that I’m leaning on my mother’s intuition, too)
Anon says
This must be difficult for you and for him! Six hours is not much sleep for either of you in one stretch! My son has reflux still at 19 months, so I can share what that looks like for him. He got diagnosed at about two months old with reflux after we observed symptoms of back arching, coughing, spit-up, and general eating difficulty. He was put on Pepcid at about 6 or 7 months. Fast forward to 13 months old, and he was still not sleeping soundly. He’s a heavy mouth breather generally, and particularly when he sleeps. He snores. He often wakes up screaming from naps due to a bout of reflux from lunch foods. We eventually did a sleep study, and he has partial obstructive sleep apnea due to enlarged adenoids. There’s some thought that reflux can cause inflammation in the throat and adenoids that contributes to poor sleep. He’s scheduled to have his adenoids removed, so I can’t yet report whether that helps.
Also, we used a sleep consultant and she was very knowledgeable about all sorts of conditions that can disrupt sleep. She was the first to suggest he might have enlarged adenoids.
Anon says
That sounds like reflux symptoms to me as an adult with reflux. But all the sympathy, as my kid is just a terrible sleeper with no physical causes and has been since birth. She’s almost 5 and is just now starting to sleep through the night some (not most) nights and believe me, yes, we tried everything. Hang in there.
Anon says
I have no idea if heme iron is used in pediatrics at all, but it’s so much easier on my stomach than the iron supplements my doctor used to have me take! And the reason I need it is a GI issue.
Anon says
This sounds like reflux, but if it’s been going on this long, I agree with others that suggested a GI consult. My son is about the same age. Our experience with reflux was a diagnosis around 6 weeks– DS was arching his back, having large spit ups while laying flat, congested all the time, and starting to refuse full feeds. (He wanted small bottles every hour.) We have been on Pepcid since 6 weeks old. The Pepcid fixed the arching, congestion, feeding issues, and reduced spit ups. We also ended up switching formula at some point and that helped as well. The reflux has continued to get better as DS started sitting and eating more solids, though we did find that certain purees triggered his reflux. His reflux also tends to get worse with growth spurts, illness, teething, etc. We plan to wean off the Pepcid but are holding off until after we are done with the whole milk transition.
Just btw– we were told gas was not related to reflux but was instead related to food. DS had terrible gas on the first formula he was on, which is why we switched. The first formula definitely made his reflux worse as well, though. DS has had digestive issues switching to whole milk, which have again given him bad gas, but it doesn’t seem to have made the reflux worse. Putting this out there because you may have two things going on– reflux and a food intolerance.
Anonymous says
If it was reflux, why would the daytime naps be okay though? What is different during the day? Is he still spitting up, or did he ever spit up copiously and constantly? Reflux with my son was unmistakable due to the volume of spit up.
Anon says
My own not normal experience will color this, but I would consider testing his room and/or your house for mold. An ERMI test will give you the most information, but you could also use plates. Air tests are not so good unless you draw an air sample from inside suspect wall cavities. If he is sleeping on a used crib mattress I would also get him a new one. Food sensitivities may be easier to look for as he weans. If you suspect the iron supplement is an issue I wouldn’t discount your intuition. Is there another option for the Iron or could you take a break for awhile? Finally, a sleep consultant is a good idea. Sounds like he may need something different than your first two kids.
Sleepy Anon says
That is an interesting point; we are in an old house and I’ve wondered (my oldest kid has allergy-type symptoms that seem to flair at night) but we are also selling the house and I haven’t wanted to open any cans of worms. It’s on my radar for the next house though, especially since our area has been pummeled with big storms and flooding events in recent years…can that testing be added to an inspection, I wonder?
CCLA says
You can do a mold inspection! Of course times are crazy right now and sellers might be weird about extra inspections, but very possible to hire someone to do this. We spent a few hundred dollars for a company to send someone with a moisture meter to hold to the various walls (I think our general inspector did a little of this, but not to the same extent), and the mold inspection company also ran a couple of air samples.
Anonymous says
You can get a mold inspection. I would recommend the ERMI test and pay for the expedited results (which gets expensive). Another thing to do is to have the inspector use thermal cameras. It used to be harder to find inspectors that offered this, but now a lot of them do. The thermal cameras can help you see hidden water issues that are active (so schedule the inspection after rain if possible, which I know isn’t always the case). I also think that adding ventilation to your house (more than the minimum standard) is a good idea so that you are constantly diluting indoor air pollutants with fresh outside air, assuming that you live in a place with good outside air and not next to a factory or something like that.
Anon says
I don’t have any advice because I didn’t have this issue, but I do want to respond to your “bad habit” mention.
Nursing or rocking to sleep is a beautiful choice. So is putting a baby down awake and letting them soothe themselves to sleep. There’s no right and no wrong and I’m sure sleep experts will disagree with me but you know yourself and your baby best.
Signed, I nursed to sleep for the first 6 months and my baby did not share your baby’s sleep issues, so your nursing/rocking didn’t cause them
Sleepy Anon says
Thank you for this. It really does feel like the right choice for my babies and me. It seems to be the first thing pediatricians and “experts” point to, though, and it’s hard to push past it to get real help. I’d be okay with 1 or even 2 short wakeups to cuddle him back to sleep, but this all night wakefulness and general nighttime discontent feels like something more. Your comment is very validating!
AwayEmily says
Could not agree with this more. You did NOT cause this — many, many parents soothe their kids to sleep and don’t end up in a situation like this. He needs some extra help with sleep, that’s all — just like other kids need extra help with reading, or social skills, or walking. And you’re doing what’s necessary to diagnose the problem and get him what he needs.
Signed, I sleep trained both my kids at 10 weeks, and now one of them is an amazing sleeper and one of them is a terrible one and I am a firm believer that parental intervention (or lack thereof) can only make a difference around the edges.
EDAnon says
I could not agree more! You are not doing anything wrong. Independent in kids is important but so is interdependence and understanding and valuing the connection between people.
Also, my oldest is 5 and still needs comfort to sleep. My younger is 3 and he’s been able to got to sleep on his own since he was tiny. I don’t have a problem with it. I try to meet my kids where they are.
So Anon says
Same same same. I responded above as well. I rocked and nursed both my kids to sleep. One was a horrible sleeper as a baby/toddler/pre-k and the other was much easier. The difference was that the horrible sleeper actually had underlying medical issues. You did nothing to cause this. All the hugs because you are an awesome mom – whether you rock and nurse your kids to sleep, let them CIO or anything else. We are here to echo this anytime you need it.
Anonymous says
Late in the day but wanted to send you some solidarity/encouragement. This is not your fault. You are a trooper! I have two good sleepers and one terrrrrrrrible sleeper. He has a host of issues (reflux included) but he’s 14 months now, has ear tubes, seasonal allergies are waning and he’s finally getting better. I’m coming to terms with the fact that he just needs less sleep than basically everyone else in my house.
But some tips: try a sleep consultant. They were minimally helpful for us but I’m glad I did it because she confirmed I was doing all the right things: dark cold room, sound machine, feeding him some fat before bed, etc. Talk to the doctor about him seeming uncomfortable and the iron: could definitely be related but if he needs iron then you gotta work around it. My last piece of advice is keep yelling into the void that something is not right. Eventually someone will listen and help you. We saw a pulmonologist, a nutritionist, ENT, and chiropractor in addition to the sleep consultant. I tried everything. Good luck. This is so hard. It will get better!
Easter gift for tween boy says
Would like to give my 11 year old nephew a couple small things for Easter. Any ideas?
Anonymous says
TBH, my favorite Easter gift was always a big chocolate rabbit.
Anon says
10 weeks pregnant, third kid. I’m already so constipated – my digestion is just moving so, so slow. It is exacerbated by the limited food I can eat with the vomitting/nausea. But I’m super not keen to get hemorrhoids again, so anything that’s worked for you would be great. TIA.
anon in brooklyn says
Natural Calm magnesium supplements!
Anon says
Colace. It’s pregnancy-safe.
Anonymous says
+1. Took it my entire pregnancy and beyond.
Anon says
Fwiw– I remember being super constipated at about 10-12 weeks. I was told it was something to do with hormones. I did not have the problem through my whole pregnancy. So it may get better soon!
anonM says
Have you tried a prune packet? Sounds silly but I’ve eaten the kid food pouches I have on hand and it worked for occasional issues.
Anonymous says
Stool softeners did not work for me. After horrendous experience in my first pregnancy with glycerin suppositories, my Ob ok’d miralax with my second and it made a WORLD of difference. We reviewed research on it together.
Emma says
I was really constipated on the iron prenatals. My doctor said I could take the iron-free gummies for the first trimester, at least, until the nausea passes – as long as I’m getting enough folic acid she said I was fine. Just a suggestion in case that helps!
Anon says
Two prunes a day makes a huge difference for me (taking both a prenatal and an iron supplement). You might think about colace/miralax/etc as suggested by other to get back on track, and prunes (or prune juice–my SIL had success with that) to stay in good shape.
Anon says
Has anyone been to Belgium with kids? Considering going there for our summer vacation.
NYCer says
Any particular reason you are considering Belgium vs. other European locations? Personally, I don’t really think there is enough to see in Belgium to warrant a trip there longer than a few days, unless of course you have another reason to be there. Bruges is enjoyable (and I have heard Ghent is pretty), but both can easily be tacked on to a trip to Paris (or elsewhere). Overall, there are lots of places I would pick in Europe over Belgium. YMMV.
OP says
Yeah, I know it’s a bit random. Belgium is one of the only European countries I haven’t been to as an adult (I went with my family as a child but don’t remember it at all). We have been to France, Italy and the UK in the last few years and have plans to go to Greece and Croatia next summer, so we prefer to go elsewhere this summer. This trip will be in July and I hate hot weather, so that rules out a lot of places. Would love to go to Switzerland, but we have a 4 year old who is not able to walk far (but is too big to be carried) so it seems like a shame to go there and not be able to hike much. Same issue with Scandinavia, Finland and Iceland – I’ve been to all the major cities and am only interested in nature areas that would involve hiking. We thought about Amsterdam, but it is big and spread out and would be a museum-heavy trip, so it doesn’t seem like the best fit for a little kid. And the food in Belgium (chocolate, waffles, frites) would be appealing to my very picky eater. I dunno. 🤷🏻♀️ Belgium just seems to check a lot of boxes. I don’t expect it to be earth-shattering, just looking for a chill week as a family.
GCA says
We have friends who live in Switzerland with a 6yo and 3yo. It sounds very kid-friendly if you don’t mind moving at kid pace – their playgrounds and outdoor amenities look fantastic, and apparently in Gstaad you can go on a…fondue hike!
OP says
I think we will definitely go to Switzerland relatively soonish but I prefer to give it just a couple more years so we can hopefully hike more. I also think I’d want more than 1 week there. I know it’s a small country but I got really stressed trying to think about a one week itinerary because there are so many places I want to go. Will have to look up the fondue hike, that sounds amazing.
NY says
All fair reasons! I still think a week in Belgium wouldn’t necessarily be the best use of your time or money. Maybe split the week between Amsterdam and Bruges or Ghent? Yes, Amsterdam has lots of museums, but it also has great parks and canal boats that would be very fun for a 4 year old. I would also consider splitting between Normandy (if you haven’t been) and Bruges/Ghent.
OP says
Thanks for your thoughts. We will likely only be there for five days (when traveling with a kid we like to fly out Saturday night and come home Saturday so we have time on both ends to prepare/recover, and then Sunday is usually lost to inter-country travel and jet lag) so splitting time between two countries might be a bit hard. I find travel with a kid much more relaxing when we don’t try to do too much, and we are fortunate to be able to travel frequently so we are ok taking things at a slow pace and spending more time than “necessary” in a place. I definitely was not trying to imply there’s nothing to do in Amsterdam except museums, but I think I would feel like I was missing out if I didn’t get to the big museums there, which means it’s probably not the best place for a family trip at this stage. Our philosophy for family travel is basically “go somewhere where we can do nothing except eat and wander around, and still be satisfied” so that usually means going to a place where we’ve already been before and hit the tourist highlights, or a place where there isn’t really a ton of stuff to do…basically, boring is good for family travel IMO :) I have been to Normandy but it was a long time ago (high school French trip) and I would be happy to go back, so I will look into that.
Emma says
I haven’t gone with kids but I’ve gone several times, including as a kid (we have family there). It’s cute, there are some cute towns and nice countryside, and even a few nice (chilly) beaches, and Brussels is fun for 2-3 days. But to be honest it’s usually not the first place people go unless they have a specific reason, or they would combine with another nearby country. Any specific reason you are considering Belgium?
OP says
I explained in more detail above but the short answer is I’ve been to most other countries in Europe and I don’t like hot weather, which is a bit limiting in July. Cute towns and nice countryside is exactly what we’re looking for.
Emma says
Oh I see. My family lives near Ostend, but Bruges and Ghent and are both cute. If you haven’t done the North of France, Lille is a nice town and very close. Dunkirk is historically interesting although not the prettiest town. Brussels has some cute neighborhoods, good food and nice museums so I would do about 3 days there. I remember walking around a lot of pretty forests and doing some cycling trips, I’m sure there are more organized sources for this :) Don’t know the rest of the country but I’m sure there are other nice spots. I would find a nice countryside home, maybe rent a car to explore, and eat all the waffles!
OP says
Thank you!
Anonymous says
I have not because covid ruined our planned 2020 summer trip, but my friends have lived there the past 3 years with young kids (infant to 7 years old) and love it. Residing is not the same as visiting, but if you’re just looking for a chill wander-around-cute-towns vibe, I don’t think you can go wrong.
Anonymous says
oops, i meant to add they are in Brussels, FWIW.
OP says
Thanks! With a kid we prefer to go at a slower pace and do less, and I think the result is that we experience a place more like locals, so this is good to hear.
Bette says
We took our 14 month old to Bruges last November and loved it! I think we were there for four or five nights, which was the right amount of time for the new slow travel pace required with a little one. Actually my second time to Bruges, I went for two nights tacked into a work trip a few years ago and was so charmed, I wanted to take my family back when we got the chance. Very easy to get around with kids, maybe some would consider it too small/boring to spend several days but I actually appreciated that part. Helped avoid the sense of FOMO we got in Amsterdam (too much to do and not enough time to do it!)
Anon says
Thanks, that great to hear! And yeah I just know I would have FOMO if we went to Amsterdam for five days because I would only get to do a fraction of what I wanted to do as a first time visitor. We’ve had good luck choosing places we’ve been before or smaller, less famous cities for that reason. I know there will come a day when my kid can walk many miles and be on the go from dusk til dawn but at 4 we’re definitely not there yet.
anon says
How do you handle unwanted holiday outfits from in laws to baby? MIL dropped off dresses for Easter and Mothers Day…I already bought an Easter dress and I do not share MIL’s style at all. Daughter is six months old and doesn’t love getting dressed so I don’t really want to put her in the MIL outfits just for photos. Also, my daughter is not a photo prop. WWYD? MIL is highly sensitive.
anon says
“Thank you for thinking of [baby name], but I already have clothes picked out for her.”
I hated having to wear clothes that relatives picked out for me as a kid. They were so much about what the relative wanted with no thought about what I wanted (comfy and my style).
anon says
Yes to your last sentence. DH’s aunts insisted on buying sporty clothes for our boy who is really not into sports at all. Especially football and basketball, which were all over boys’ clothes 10+ years ago.
On the other hand, a great-aunt bought my daughter a t-shirt that has cats flying through donuts in outer space, and it might be her favorite clothing item of all time.
Anonymous says
If OP’s MIL is anything like my mom, this would not go over well. I generally just put what she buys on them for whatever meal we have at her house. So like church and brunch at in laws, the kids wear the outfits I picked. We veg at our house in the afternoon in pjs and then dinner at my parents when I dress them in outfits from my mom. Or for mother’s day, we’ll see them briefly for coffee and cake in the afternoon and I’ll put them in whatever she bought them most recently. If they straight up refuse to wear something, I don’t force them and if it’s too big, I just say that I’ll use it another time.
Part of it is that my mom is just a shopaholic. She forgets half the ordinary stuff that she buys, I’ve donated a ton of stuff with the tags on. It gets easier as they get older and they can express more of their own preferences for clothing.
Anonymous says
Honestly Id prob just put the baby in the outfit to make my MIL happy because your baby is 6 months old and doesn’t care. But if it’s a HUGE deal to you then lie and say she had a blow out on it. Yup, I said what I said. We haven’t had this issue though.
Anon says
+1 I also had a lot of “interesting” outfits gifted for my daughter from my own parents. Same thing. I’d take a picture or say she had a blow out. Now that she’s a little older (2.5 years) and I sometimes forget dress-up days for school. I just keep the outfits and donate them when she out grows them. (Ex. I’ve never had to go buy a last minute green shirt for St. Patrick’s day. Because Grandma had already sent one)
anon says
Oooh, I hate this; it’s so presumptuous on the MIL’s part. Let me have the fun of dressing my baby! And totally agree that babies and children are not props. I would either save MIL’s dresses for an occasion you care less about OR take photos (just this one time), and then, at a less charged time, try to gently redirect MIL to prevent future purchases. Or drop not-so-subtle hints about how you’ve purchased an outfit for XYZ and how much enjoyment you get from dressing your daughter while you still get to be the decider.
I can tell you that this will probably run its course, once sizes are less predictable and kids have their own ideas about how they’ll dress. I definitely no longer have free reign to pick my daughter’s clothing (other than making sure it’s appropriate for the occasion).
Anon says
this may or may not run its course depending on your MIL. my MIL LOVES shopping for my kids, but fortunately we reached a point where we will look at stuff online together and she’ll generously pay for it or she kind of knows what kind of stuff i do/don’t like. i also write this as someone who did not have a good relationship with my MIL until my kids were closer to a year old and at that point I’d been married for 6+ years and with DH for another 4. Depending, I’d say something like “thanks so much for thinking of her. I already got her outfits for those occasions, but she can wear this for X” (idk what your childcare arrangement is, but just send the baby in it to daycare or have baby wear it for fathers day if it will still fit by then or whatever), and then yes in the future i would definitely drop not at all subtle hints about how you’ve picked out dresses for other occasions, or if this really bothers you and becomes a thing, have DH say something to his mother, but maybe give her something that she can buy the baby, like maybe more books for baby’s collection or whatever. Purchasing stuff is my MIL’s love language so i’ve learned to redirect to other things
Anon says
If it were me, I would just put my daughter in the dress and take a few photos to send to MIL. I weigh in-law interactions in terms of cost to me vs. benefit to them. It seems like this would make your MIL very happy and is objectively pretty low “cost” (cost here being time and effort, not $$) for you. I don’t think putting a kid in a cute dress from a family member and snapping a few photos is using them as a prop (particularly if the kid is a baby who doesn’t care what she wears) but YMMV. If you feel more strongly about it, then maybe it comes at a higher cost to you and it makes sense to refuse to do it.