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I remember when Sperry boat shoes were all the rage. Like toys from the ’80s and ’90s (hello My Little Pony), my kids can walk through the rain in Sperrys.
These Sperry Kids’ Saltwater Boots are more practical than the low-cut boat shoes I had. These duck-inspired boots have a textile upper, waterproof rubber foot, and rawhide lacing for a secure fit. There’s also a side zipper for easy on/off, microfleece lining for warmth, and grippy rubber outsoles.
With six colors/patterns to choose from, you’re sure to find the perfect pair!
These boots are on sale at Zappos for $39.99–$56.25 depending on the color/pattern. They’re available in sizes 12 Little Kid to 6 Big Kid.
This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! a
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anonymous says
how does everyone deal with all the cute iphone photos of your kids?
Anonymous says
Other than keeping on paying more and more to increase my iCloud storage? Haha– following for better ideas :)
HSAL says
I pay $20/year for Google photos – my husband and I both back up to the same account so we have them all in place. I still have trouble deleting them from my phone so I occasionally go through and do a culling. Day to say I try to stay on top of screenshots/duplicates, but I’m not always successful.
Pogo says
I make a folder at the end of the year that’s “Favorites 2021” or whatever and print a book from that. In an ideal world I would then go through and delete the non-favorites, but I haven’t actually done that yet. And yeah, I pay extra for iCloud storage.
Anon says
I upload my favorites and include them in the annual photo book I make.
EDAnon says
I do this too and also pay for extra iCloud storage.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We have google photo albums that we share with family. At the end of the year, we pick our favorites from the year (which is often like 500+ photos…) and then curate those further in a shutterfly album. I back up the google photos albums on a hard drive. The rest remain on the apple cloud I guess but I wouldn’t be upset if they were lost.
AwayEmily says
Chatbooks! So easy.
Mary Moo Cow says
I pay for additional storage with iCloud, but I also have automatic upload set up for Shutterfly. I take about 3-4 pictures at a clip and immediately delete the worst one, and then edit the best one and save only that one. About once a month during a lull (like a break in sets in a work out or waiting at the doctor’s office) I confirm that my photos are in Shutterfly and then I delete all but my absolute favorites. After a while it becomes a habit, and I noticed that once I was out of the baby phase, I was showing off far less photos, so I didn’t need to keep them all on my phone. I upload videos to my Google Drive.
Anon says
I heart my favorites on my iPhone as I take them and then I have less to prune when I make an annual Chatbooks. For about $75 I get a book that is like the highlight reel of our year. I rarely print pictures outside of this book. I also had the great idea to start scanning class pictures with my phone and saving them in here too. In the caption, I even put names (daycare school pics don’t have names) because I feel like it will be nice to remember one day. For 2022 I started snapping pictures of artwork and will put a handful of those pics in too.
Besides that, I have free Amazon Prime storage but also pay more for space there because it does not include free unlimited video storage. Within Amazon storage, it’s largely a free for all except for a few albums from professional photographers. I know there are privacy concerns but the AI is getting better at recognition, location, etc so I can normally find what I am looking for in a search.
Anon says
Saw a freaking mouse in my kitchen this morning. Happy freaking Friday. Ugh!
Anonymous says
Time to get a cat! :)
Anonymous says
Sadly many cats are terrible mousers. Learning your cat is a good mouser is also a somewhat double-edged sword. One valentine’s day our cat (1 of 3, the other 2 never caught a thing) presented our 2 year old with a mostly dead mouse as a token of affection.
Anonymous says
True. I have 2 cats. One is hopeless, but the other keeps our house vermin-free. He’s indoor/outdoor (don’t at me about local wildlife, I know and wish he would stay in, but he started out as a stray and escapes despite our best efforts) and thankfully usually leaves his dead mice outside. Once he brought a live one in to play with and that was an interesting day…
EDAnon says
Our cat loves mice and brings them to us alive (and well!). It’s no help :)
Anonymous says
Uhhhh nice are the worst! We got 3!!! At the start of the pandemic due to nearby restaurants/school being closed. We had to be really aggressive and used a combo of snap/poison/glue traps all over the house every night.
EDAnon says
We hire a company that uses a more humane method of killing them. We end up having to do it every few years (we live near a forest).
Kat G says
I just replied to yesterday’s long thread about the comments but thought I’d post my answer here also…
I’m so sorry about this, guys — we did a big tech update a week or so ago and it’s screwed with caching — for some reason even if we approve comments they only refresh every 45-60 minutes on the front end. I figured out yesterday after about 3 hours of troubleshooting myself that if we manually update the post then the comments will also refresh. Tech guys are still looking into it, but in the meantime at least we have a workaround.
Spirograph says
Thanks, Kat! Glad to hear that you’re still working on it
Boston Legal Eagle says
Thank you for this message! I know we’re all frustrated by this so it helps to hear you’re working on it. I love this community.
Anonymous says
Thank you! I used to work in IT and you keeping us posted means almost as much to me as getting the problem fixed!
AIMS says
Not sure how the comments are going to be today but will try anyway.
What do you do when your kid doesn’t want to tell you stuff? After school teacher told me at pick up yesterday that my 6 year old got into a “big fight” with some other kid in the class and that they then apologized (per teacher request) and went their separate ways. My daughter has refused to tell me or her dad what happened. Do I let it go? Keep trying? Ask teacher for more info? I feel like now is the time to create open channels of communication and the fact that she won’t talk to us is a little unnerving. She literally said, “i don’t want to talk about it and I will never tell you what happened”…. But maybe not pushing is a better strategy?
Anon says
Yes, I think not pushing is the best. I’ll often make a general empathizing statement “I heard there was a fight at school today. I bet that felt pretty bad” but if kid shuts down I try to leave it. Usually it all comes out within a few days, often at bedtime
avocado says
At least with my kid, pushing is counterproductive. My strategy for getting her to talk is to give her plenty of low-pressure, relaxed opportunities to initiate conversation on her own. Since January I’ve been driving her to school because the bus is always late. If she’s had enough sleep and isn’t cranky, she will bring up all sorts of topics. I try mainly to listen and ask open-ended follow-up questions instead of commenting or interrogating her. The car seems to be a less threatening setting because they don’t have to make eye contact with you. She’ll be driving herself in a little over a year, and I’m going to have to invent reasons to drive her places just so she will chat with me.
When I really need to hear her perspective on something important, like a rumored student walkout, I usually start off with something neutral like “Have you heard anything about XYZ? What do you think?”
I wouldn’t worry too much about one “big fight” at this age. I would make a mental note of which other kid was involved and watch for any patterns.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I fondly remember having the best conversations with my dad when he was driving me to school or dentist appointments or somewhere. I do think the lack of forced eye contact helped both of us.
Anonymous says
I have 3 kids. One is an open book, comes to me for advice. One lies her face off but ultimately will open up. One needs more work. With that one, I ask once, then if she doesn’t open up I give it a day. We do an early bed time and I sit with her in a totally calm way (sometimes she’ll brush my hair, or let me brush hers) and I will approach it again from a different direction. In your case, not “what happened?” but “I remember one time when my [friend/enemy] got in a fight at school. I felt really confused. [huge pause]. …is that how you felt yesterday?” And usually it goes from there.
anon says
I have a kid who has trouble putting social situations into words. She never retells stories from school. Ever. Not good stories. Not bad stories. We get nothing.
I will reach out to other parents to get the story if I’m concerned. Then I can try to find a way to address any issues with her without depending on her ability to explain what happened.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Agree with others – pushing will likely make her talk less. My older kid is similar – he talks a lot but is uncomfortable talking about hard things like social dynamics at school. I want to be available to him but asking repeated questions just makes him shut down or lash out. I like the advice of making it a little more low key, particularly talking when they’re doing something else like playing legos, baths, etc. so the focus is not all on this BIG TALK.
Spirograph says
This was such A Thing for my daughter last year (when she was 6), and still is to some extent with each of my kids. How forthcoming they are depends entirely on their mood, and if they’re reeling from a fight, they shut down. I find pushing counterproductive. The words the anon at 10:20 suggested are a good opening, but if she doesn’t want to talk about it, I would stop right there. The teacher will probably tell you if it gets to be a pattern or if there’s some running drama between the kids. <– this was the case with us, and some things that helped me piece my daughter's side of the story together:
1. Come back to it later. That night at bedtime or even a day or two after.
2. Encourage her to act it out with stuffed animals (my daughter loves doing this. I do think she takes some artistic liberty with the plot, though)
3. Talk when you're doing something else/ don't have to make eye contact. While snuggling, walking, doing a craft project. Anything other than sitting in the car or across the table from each other with no distractions!
Ultimately, it's not as important that you know what happened as it is for your daughter know that she *can* tell you what happened. So even if she doesn't want to talk about it, tell her that's ok, and you're there for her if she changes her mind.
AIMS says
Thanks all! I like this suggestions and I am glad to hear that not pushing isn’t just some kind of dereliction of duty on my part. I’ll try to bring up conflict generally with her neutral times over the weekend. She’s not a big sharer, in general, and while I want to respect that, I just want her to know we are here for her. Appreciate your sage advice!
Anon says
Test
JoJo says
Anyone interested in helping me fill in some holes (with specific brands or link) in my maternity wardrobe to get me through my last trimester (due end of May)? I think I need shoes to wear with jeans (cute sneaks? loafers?), shoes to wear with skirts (no idea, have rothy points), one-two pairs of non-jeans pants, and a handful of t-shirts or tops. Job is super casual (like, baseball hats and birkenstocks are ok), but I’ve been feeling frumpy just racing to pull on whatever is cleanish. I live in the upper midwest, so have a few months of sloppy weather before actual summer. Would prefer to keep at Old Navy/Target level, since I have an 18-month old and this is my last pregnancy.
AIMS says
I loved Old Navy maternity stuff! They have lots of jeans/pants now – whatever your preferred style. I lived in their tank tops and camisoles when I was pregnant too and they can be great for extending your regular wardrobe by wearing shirts/cardigans open. I like this sweatshirt for spring, too (feels springy/summery but good while weather is uncertain): https://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=625918132&cid=1185228&pcid=1185228&vid=1&nav=meganav%3AMaternity%3AShop%20Maternity%20Categories%3AShop%20All%20Maternity&cpos=237&cexp=2223&kcid=CategoryIDs%3D1185228&ctype=Listing&cpid=res22031807124153091630038#pdp-page-content
Gap has cute stuff, esp. dresses like this one (I’d get black but colorful patterns available too): https://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=815457022&cid=1127956&pcid=1127956&vid=1&nav=meganav%3AMaternity%3ACategories%3AShop+All+Styles&cpos=19&cexp=2541&kcid=CategoryIDs%3D1127956&cvar=21303&ctype=Listing&cpid=res22031808261468775226487#pdp-page-content — but wait for a 40% off sale, they come like every other week.
I would get cute white or gray tennis shoes – converse type but maybe a little comfier? (I find Superga or Sperry to be better on my feet).You can wear them with dresses too.
AIMS says
Target has cute stuff too. I would get this dress in green and wear it with white sneakers (but maybe size up based on one review of it being tight in the chest). https://www.target.com/p/the-nines-by-hatch-tie-short-sleeve-shirt-maternity-dress-floral/-/A-84067122?preselect=83958744#lnk=sametab
Anonymous says
Late pregnancy + warm weather is prime foot swelling territory, so I would look for slip on shoes. Target knock off birkenstocks and the like.
anonamama says
I’ve been forced into wearing them due to plantar faciitis, but OOFOS slides and flip flops are so.comfortable. The slides come in a lot of colors a la birkenstock but with a different type of support.
DLC says
Shoes are tough… but I like ASOS and H&M for inexpensive but cute maternity clothes
Anonymous says
re: the sex talk with kids, how, if at all, have you talked about less mainstream baby having? I’ve talked to my 8 year old a bit about how babies are made. It came up because she wanted to understand how I could have a baby but she couldn’t (she was worried about having a baby, i think!). We covered how girls/women can’t have babies when they are young because their own bodies are still growing, but as they grow up they get the stuff they need to have and care for babies, and that part of what you need to have a baby, the eggs, are actually in your body *right now*. Then we talked about how they need “activation” from male components, etc. I was prepared to have the sex/p*nis talk; I was not so prepared for “well how do two dads have a baby then?” or “how was [friend who has two moms] born?” or “How did [friend who is being raised by a single mom] get made?” One, I don’t actually know how it happened (eg. if it was adoption vs a donor) and, especially in the case of the family with two dads, she was super confused about how the kid has no mom based on all of what I just explained “Obviously there must be a mom out there somewhere. or does her dad grow eggs?”
She knows about adoption. This is just more of a grey area, I think.
I’m not sure I need a book rec, though one would be super welcome, but any tips on how to make this less confusing for her would be great!
Pogo says
Curious to hear what others say – I do know there are books, but your point about how not knowing is a good one. I don’t feel it is my place to speculate about how someone else grew their family, but I can also understand a young child’s genuine curiosity. In my own mind I’ve definitely assumed wrong about people – like when someone’s kid is a visibility different ethnicity, thinking they must be married to someone of that ethnicity, but turns out kid is adopted – so I never verbalize any of those assumptions (or try to not make them at all!).
Anonymous says
For younger kids, the book What Makes a Baby is useful, since it talks about how for babies to be born there needs to be an egg, a sperm, and a uterus but leaves it open for interpretation about where those come from. This is basically the tactic we’ve taken with my 5yos. They know that for families with a mother and a father usually the egg comes from the mother and the sperm comes from the father, but that sometimes that doesn’t work. For our family, they know they came from one of Mommy’s eggs and grew in Mommy’s uterus, but that Mommy and Mama had to buy sperm to make them because neither of us can make sperm. I think because they grew up with this explanation they have a clear distinction between “sperm donor” and “dad” and will get in arguments with kids at school who insist that everyone has to have a daddy. We don’t have any close friends with 2 dads, so haven’t attempted to explain surrogacy yet, but they know about adoption.
Granted, this tactic is also how one of them got in trouble at school for explaining that in order for Simba and Nala to have a baby they needed to combine his sperm and her egg.
anon says
I kind of don’t get why this is hard? Genuinely not snarky on that one. My kid was made in a very nontraditional and unusual way (not your garden variety IVF over here) so we explained it in varying levels of detail at different ages and explained that other people make their families in x, y, z ways. You just say “how people make their families is sometimes private, and we don’t ask about it unless they bring it up, but here are a few of the different ways” — fill in as much detail about adoption, surrogacy, egg donation, etc. as appropriate. It’s fine to say “I don’t know, let’s google that together” where necessary.
anon says
Coming back to add — I’m guessing what you are struggling with is drawing the distinction between biological parenthood and emotional parenthood. And, as above, you just explain it with examples as needed. “The two often go together, but they don’t have to,” etc. etc.
Realist says
There is a But Why episode that covers this a bit. It is from December 2021 and titled “How are babies made?” If I recall correctly, it talks a little bit about needing two genetic parents and a uterus (the science) but also a bit about how many different ways there are to have a family (the humans).
Anonymous says
OP here; I think this gets at the crux of it. I winged it in the moment and generally ended with my usual “isn’t size amazing and crazy?” but I think for a just now 8 year old, some of this stuff is complicated to understand! And mostly, she’s thinking about it as it applies to her. The convo had started from a place of “wait, how do I make sure I don’t have a baby?! You seem to have them all the d*mn time!” (we have four, and she’s the oldest so her life was filled with babies!) and then “Are you and dad having anymore babies? No? How do you decide not to?”
Anonymous says
What’s complicated about birth control? You’re making this too hard. Just answer her.
Realist says
Maybe listening to the podcast episode will help. I think the guest on the episode was the author of “What makes a baby?” mentioned above.
It is so hard to get a read on a person and their situation just through comments, but maybe you are feeling pressure to have one big Talk with her and get it 100% right? If so, take that pressure off. Her questions are opportunities for you both to get comfortable with these conversations and for you to fill her in on info and your family values. You will have lots and lots of these opportunities so you don’t have to get it 100% right every time. You want her to talk with you about this stuff not just once, but whenever her questions arise. So view it as practice for you both getting comfortable. And if you don’t give her enough info or realize you maybe gave her more than she needed, it is not the end of the world, you can course correct as these conversations go on.
EDAnon says
We have a good book called A Family is A Family is A Family. It’s probably a bit young but it does through different types of families and really covers the emotional side of parenthood.
Anonymous says
Do you not know? Just explain it in rnglish
Anonymous says
When this came up with my kids, our theme was that it takes parts from a man and a woman to make a baby, but there are lots of different ways to make a family. My kids have friends who are adopted and/or have two moms, two dads, etc so it was very important to me that they understand that a family is a family because they love each other and care for each other, not because of who made the baby. I said something like, for people who want to raise children but can’t make a baby, there are a lot of other ways to make a family (adoption, surrogacy and donors). Sometimes people are happy to talk about it, and sometimes they’d rather keep it private, but the important part is that they’re a family now.
Anon Lawyer says
As a mom of a kid born via sperm donor, I think the key thing is you don’t want your kid insisting to other kids that so-and-so MUST have a dad or MUST have a mom out there somewhere. Most families I know who have young kids born with donor gametes don’t use the term biological mother or father – they use donor. So I think at 8 saying something like “well, if you have two parents who have an egg and a sperm they can use that. But otherwise, they can get an egg or a sperm from someone else who donates it.” Pretty clear but does not imply that a kid with two dad has a “real” mom somewhere.
CPA Lady says
I would just tell her the truth in a straightforward method. I definitely think an 8 year old would understand something like this:
“You need a sperm, an egg, and a uterus to make and grow a baby. There are special doctors that help when people want to make a baby but cant do it with the PIV method. Two dads can get a baby a couple of different ways. They can either adopt a baby, which is when a woman who decides she is not ready to be a mom gets pregnant and gives the baby to people who are ready to be parents. Or they can use an egg from a surrogate. A surrogate is a woman who is willing to use her body to grow a baby for someone. So they go to the special doctor who helps with this kind of thing, and they use either one of their sperms with her egg, or someone else’s sperm and egg, and she grows the baby, and gives it to them when it’s born. Two moms can have a baby either by adopting or by going to the doctor and using one of their eggs plus sperm from a donor. A man and a woman do not need to be married for a woman to get pregnant. This is one of the ways people who only have a mom can be born. Or a woman can adopt a baby by herself, or use the sperm from a donor, just like when there are two moms. I don’t know how [xyz friend w two moms/two dads/a single mom] was made, but those are the possible options}.”
And I like to take these types of conversation as times to also emphasize that these are not question that are polite for kiddo to ask people, and that asking about number of kids/why doesn’t someone have kids/why doesn’t someone have a dad/how did someone get their kid, etc. is a very personal thing that can be upsetting for some people. I have told her that some women want to have babies but something about their bodies makes it very hard or impossible for them to have a baby so it can really make them sad if you ask. And since you never know, you shouldn’t ask.
As far as how not to have a baby when you don’t want to, I would tell her “A lot of women take a kind of medicine to keep them from getting pregnant when they don’t want to have a baby. There are other things people can do too. We can talk about that more in depth when you’re a little older.”
Anon Lawyer says
Minor point of clarification: the egg donor and the surrogate/gestational carrier are almost always different people these days.
octagon says
Going on a plane trip next week with my 7 yo, first one in 2 years. He likes math and coding. What are some good ipad games that will work as downloads, without wifi? He likes Khan academy but it doesn’t always work offline. Thanks!
Anonymous says
My kids (6,8) are obsessed with tangrams. There are some apps you can download. Also, I’m here to recommend you pack [physical] books, too. For a 7 year old, maybe the “I survived!” series. My 2nd grader loves them but she’s a fairly strong reader. Maybe also a suduko book? I feel like my kids just tire of electronics on planes after a while and like to switch to something with paper (me too!).
Spirograph says
Oooh we love Tangrams too. Another good math/logic game is SET. I have never tried the app, but the internet tells me that it exists. It’s just a card game, so very travel-friendly if you want to buy a physical one. You just need space to lay out 9 cards, and they’d fit on a plane tray table
octagon says
Thanks! Yes, I have a sudoku book and the next few installments of the Dragon Masters series as a surprise, so we may not even get to the ipad. But I want to be prepared!
SC says
I’ve recommended this here before, but my 6 year old loves Kanoodle sets. For ipad games, check out Thinkrolls and Pettson’s Inventions Deluxe.
Anonymous says
Any words of advice for a second pregnancy in big law? My first kid will be just two when the second is born, if this pregnancy sticks. This is earlier than we planned for although I very much wanted two. I am just stressed about how work will take it. No issues with the first leave and honestly I’ve been killing it since I came back but I’m just bummed that this could derail that, make people think of me differently, etc. There was one associate who did the exact thing with same timing who just was elected partner in a similar group so the firm is generally excellent about this. My good friend in my group who had a baby the same time as me is planning for another soon and is up for partner, so I’m not some isolated case. I know I won’t get like officially penalized or something. Just having a hard time with it. Besides work I’m otherwise excited.
Anonymous says
You’ve not given information that shows your firm thinks negatively about this; all your examples are positive. Yet, there’s something causing you anxiety/dread related to this. Is there a tangible basis for your concern (a particular person you’re worried about? someone’s experience, comments or hints, etc.)?
OP says
Such a good response. I think bc my last pregnancy was during Covid, people don’t realize how long ago it was. Or I’m afraid of that. And with our office just now opening people are coming by my office to see pictures of the “baby” even just this week so I guess this is heightening my dread/my sense of the optics. My real hesitation is about the big partner I work for. He would never say anything negative to my face but he is who I’m worried about. I’m running many of his cases. I just know it will be an issue for him. I guess maybe some of it’s in my head, or me guessing what’s in his head.
anonM says
Also, remind yourself that you’re giving a HUGE (months-long) heads up that they don’t get in many other circumstances (emergency health issues/quitting). Management gets paid to deal with these issues.
anonM says
Congrats!
I think 2 kids 2 years apart is very common and seen as the “norm” (for better or worse, not assigning judgment or agreeing, but it did seem that after 1 people ask about #2, but I get less questions about a possible #3, and have heard the same with friends). So, no one seemed super surprised when I announced the second time. (But, I’m in very very small law). Not sure your childcare situation, but the hardest for me wasn’t the second mat leave, it has more been since then having two kids in daycare and cold during COVID times means that there are sometimes stretches where we are missing so many days a month of childcare (our daycare wants you to keep both siblings home if either have any cold symptoms, so if one gets the other sick you’re talking twice as long, and for me doing actual work while trying to watch both kids is a total-no go, unlike with just one where I can do light emails, etc.). If you have a spouse/partner, I would really start talking now about how you balance all the appointments during the first year of a baby’s life and the inevitable sick days, back up care, backupbackup care, etc.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Not in biglaw but yes, with two kids, you double your chances of a kid being sent home sick. There’s always something, especially in that first year. Unless your spouse is a SAHP or otherwise very very flexible, I think nanny is probably the way to go with your job situation.
Anon says
I think it’s normal to be nervous but the evidence you have doesn’t create any particular cause for concern. There are pros and cons to kids being close together and being spread apart — they’re just different situations. Especially given how slammed and eager to retain good people most firms are right now, I’d try to just enjoy it as much as you can and assume they’ll be fine or get on board.
Anonymous says
I think you just own it–there are a lot of benefits to spacing kids closely, and then getting on with things. Frame it to your office as a strategic choice on your part.
Anonymous says
We recently moved, and our new backyard fence neighbors have a dog who can get through the fence and into our yard (and he comes over several times a day to root around). I don’t know whether they know this and don’t care, or don’t know that their dog can get out of their yard. I’ve never met them. Should I just go knock on their door and tell them? I also don’t know whether the fence between our yards is theirs or ours so I don’t know whether to offer to fix it or not. I probably should just bite the bullet and go introduce myself.
Anon says
Which way is the “ugly” side of the fence facing (with posts showing)? Usually, that is the owner of the fence. I agree with going to chat with them casually…we had a similar situation where a skunk got through a hole in our fence and sprayed a dog and our neighbor came to introduce herself and talk to us and offer to help with fixing the hole (it was on our list, so we moved it up in priority and fixed it that weekend). If it’s their fence and they are really prickly about it, maybe you could run some chicken wire on your side?
Anonymous says
Yes totally say something! And ask if they know about property lines etc…you can pay to have someone come out and survey. We placed our new fence on our side of the property line, but our neighbors gave us $500 because it was a huge improvement over the chain link haha
Boston Legal Eagle says
+1 get a survey. Neighbors may not know the exact property lines or whose fence it is and this will give you the official answer.
Mary Moo Cow says
I would go introduce yourself and keep it light and friendly at first. You could ask them about the fence ownership. Maybe you’ll get lucky with nicer weather and longer daylight hours and you can catch them when they are out in their yard (this is always my hope.) Then, next time you see them or make a second visit, you can mention the dog issue. In the meantime, pull up your closing documents and see if there’s anything in the disclosures, house description, etc. about the fence.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Gently – yes. Go talk to your neighbors.
Anonymous says
Do you care that the dog is rooting around in your yard? but yes, this is a perfect excuse to introduce yourself! Hi, my name is X, we moved in a couple weeks ago. I’ve seen your dog in in our backyard a couple times. He hasn’t bothered us, but I wasn’t sure if you knew he could escape. etc etc if you want to keep him out, and they don’t care, you should offer to repair the fence / ask if it’s OK if you fix the hole in their fence
Anonymous says
As the owner of a Houdini dog, I would very much appreciate it if you came over to tell me that my dog was visiting you on a daily basis.
anonM says
Yeah, talk BEFORE it is some issue!
Anonymous says
You could retrieve the dog next time it happens and bring him home via front door. Then say, hi, I’m the neighbor, can you believe it, your dog escaped into our yard! Then have a chat about how they want to move forward, giving them the opportunity to take the lead on a solution.
Cb says
Friday afternoon and it is sunny. I made good progress on some writing today so off to spring kiddo early and get ice cream before getting the bus home.
Boston Legal Eagle says
It is 73 here in March… so many people outside!
Anonymous says
What books do your 2nd/3rd grade kids read and love? Mine is devouring the wonderful trash that is the Babysitters Club (I am a BSC superfan so no shade here unless you come at me with the graphic novels), just finished the Emily Windsnap books at the recommendation of our librarian. She’s in 2nd grade but comfortable reading above her grade level by a fair bit. I know the classics but am looking for newer stuff. Yes, I asked her teacher and the librarians already and that’s how we ended up with Emily Windsnap :)
Anonymous says
Wings of Fire, DogMan (graphic novels), The One and Only Ivan, and if she likes that, The One And Only Bob
Mary Moo Cow says
The Amelia Bedelia chapter books (featuring a 2nd grade Amelia Bedelia)! Other girls like Nevergirls, although mine is meh on it. My niece liked the Nancy Clancy Super Sleuth series and friend’s daughter loves the Nancy Drew and the Clue Crew series. Did you read any of the Andrea Beatty picture books: Iggy Peck, Rosie Revere, Ada Twist? If so, she might like The Questioners chapter book series. At 3rd grade, I was getting into American Girl — have you tried any of those books? There are so many now, historical and contemporary!
Anon says
Caveat that I am reading to my 4YO, but from the 2nd and 3rd grade level. Princess in Black is probably on the easier end (lots of small words, repetitive sentence structure, but my kiddo LOVES them). The Clementine series is like a modern day Ramona and a joy to read. I picked up Ramona the other day and it was just as delightful as I remember. We’ve also picked up Harry Potter and Chronicles of Narnia to start reading aloud in the fall, and she also loves the American Girl books my mom reads to her on grandparent visits. Ann Rinaldi is excellent historical fiction that I read and loved at that age, as well as Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys.
Anon says
My 4 year old is not advanced and loves Princess in Black. I don’t think that’s second grade level at all, in my opinion it was written for preschoolers who aren’t ready for real chapter books yet. The writing and storylines are MUCH simpler than BSC/Ramona/Harry Potter.
Anon says
Agreed, PiB is great for kids who are just learning to read, but too easy for an advanced 2nd grader. I think I’d also put Ramona as being a level way below BSC and Harry Potter, too, since my 5yo can read Ramona to herself and she won’t be ready for BSC or HP for several years.
anon says
Books that I’d recommend based on reviews from my 3rd grader based on what she read last year: The Faraway Tree series, The Land of Stories, all the Roald Dahl books, Wings of Fire (text, not graphic novel version), Harry Potter (books 1-3), Ellie the Engineer series, My America series, and the I Survived series.
Anonymous says
Currently reading Lois Lowry’s Anastasia Krupnik books to my first grader and despite being aimed at more like 4-5th grade he’s enjoying them a lot. COULD read them to himself so I’m sure your daughter could if she’s reading ahead of second grade.
Boston Legal Eagle says
This came up somewhat on a recent main page thread – how often do you all update your “look” for lack of a better term? E.g. I’ve had the same general haircut for the past 10 years and generally wear the same kinds of office and leisure clothes as I did when I first got out of law school. I am vaguely aware of trends but don’t keep up with everything, especially in the last few years when my kids were little. But I wonder if I’m just going to keep this same hairstyle, clothes, etc. for the next 10-15 years? It very much signals me as an “elder millennial mom” but that’s what I am so maybe that’s fine.
AwayEmily says
Was just thinking about this as I put away my maternity clothes and got out my “regular” clothes, most of which were purchased well before the pandemic. I’d love to do some kind of style…consultancy? I don’t know. Something that helped me find a sweet spot between my outdated taste and what’s fashionable.
Spirograph says
Very infrequently and feel the same way about it. I’ve never been artsy or fashion-forward, so I feel like I can’t really own trends well enough that they’d look natural on me. I’ve done Nordstrom personal shopper and trunk club a few times in the last 6 years or so, but even that still ends up a very similar “look” overall, it’s more of a freshening up than a change. I explicitly give the hairstylist creative control and ask for ideas whenever I get a haircut, but that also always ends up very similar. (Probably because I also say things like “I have 3 kids, usually let my hair air-dry, and don’t care to put much time or effort into styling”)
I *am* a boring suburban elder millennial mom, and I’m OK not being stylish. I work in a more casual/creative industry now than I did 10 years ago, so I’ve updated my work wardrobe more than my weekend one.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Elder millenial mum here! The thing is…..I like fashun. I like keeping up with trends and knowing what’s in. I have plenty of friends who fall into my end of the spectrum, and many who don’t and have more of a “classic” style. The fun thing is right now, at least for non-work wear, I feel like anything goes (thank you, GenZ!). I think what I wore to work pre-pandemic is super dated, and I’m struggling with what to wear beyond dresses and blazers when I go into the office.
For non-work wear: right now I’m still in the “nothing I own fits” phase when it comes to pants/jeans, so I don’t wear them, but at the same time I don’t think I’ll dabble in the mom-cut jeans because…I don’t like them. Right now I update with non-weight sensitive things that I enjoy – bags, jewelry, shoes, and makeup (I want to try some Euphoria-style makeup, and yes I’m almost 40, and IDGAF). I’ve purchased a few tops in trending textures/patterns where I can. I did buy a few Nap/Cottage core dresses last year, and DH is not a fan but I remind him it’s not for him (and I always get compliments from other womxn when wearing them!). The common thread is a) I enjoy it, b) I purchase things I actually like, and c) I don’t have a massive closet full of crap I don’t wear (never has been my vibe).
My dream is when I’m at a more comfortable weight to work with a personal stylist to better cull my wardrobe.