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While April showers bring May flowers, there’s also a lot of rain in the fall where I live.
This fall, these bright rain boots from Ugg will keep your little one’s feet snug and dry. There’s a genuine sheepskin insole and built-in handles for easy on and off (or carrying). They’re also made from recycled materials (some from Ugg’s Classic boot) and come in four rainy day colors (black, “canary,” “samba red,” and “taffy pink”).
Ugg Kids’ Drizlita rain boots are $49.95 at Zappos. They’re available in kids whole sizes 6–12.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
Clementine says
After yesterday’s thread (which I missed but was reading late at night), I wanted to share an awesome thing about each one of my kids.
6 year old son is going to be going to the public school for the first time and is in class with the little girl next door. When asked ‘what are you excited about for this fall?’ both of them said being in class with each other.
2 year old has blossomed after some speech delays and now can be understood by everyone and is SO THRILLED.
Baby maintains their status as best behaved kid and has started to smile and they’re fabulous.
Spouse finished Big Project on the house AND also just let me know that the kids’ wardrobes are all set for Fall/winter with the exception of one pair of snow pants.
Anonymous says
Ok i love this. I’ll play. My oldest is very empathetic and likes to make sure things are fair. I’ve also seen him grow from giving up immediately on difficult tasks, to trying again and working through what works and what doesn’t.
My middle (twin A) is very mechanically inclined and likes to figure out how things work. He’s also very collaborative.
My youngest (twin B) is a total ham and tries hard to make us laugh. He’s also a big smuggler lately.
DH cleared his schedule today so we can have a day date and I’m really excited and appreciative.
Pogo says
That reminds me of how my 5yo told me that he passed his friend’s classroom on the way to computer lab the other day and he waved at her.
Anonymous says
My three year old woke up this morning and wanted to tell me all about the International Space Station! He has a new book about it he’s been reading with his dad. It was so cool to hear him talk all about astronauts, and spacewalks, and special pressurized suits when just a few months ago he was not really saying full sentences.
AwayEmily says
The local playground is a SCENE after school — tons of kids running and yelling and playing. It can be a little overwhelming, and yesterday my 6yo helped a VERY nervous new kindergartener who she knows to get comfortable playing. By the end of our time there, the new kid had gone from sitting with her face buried in her dad’s lap to happily smearing herself in mud with my daughter and her friends. I was so proud of how my daughter did it — no pressure, just regular check-ins to ask if she wanted to play, and then playing with her one-on-one until she was ready to hang with the larger group.
Cb says
Aww, that’s lovely, she sounds so kind. The playpark next to our school is a similar scene, especially on Fridays when school finishes at 12. And the kids are all in the same uniform so you can’t find your kid.
Vicky Austin says
My goodness, AwayEmily, your daughter sounds like a great kid!
Anon says
Love this. What a sweet kid.
Anon says
2 yo is FINALLY settling into new daycare. He still does the crocodile tears at dropoff, but he walks in on his own and is excited to go in the mornings. His language continues to explode. This morning he looked outside and said storms coming after noticing the dark clouds.
I had a busy but highly productive short week at work and home and it feels great. Finally put away a bunch of clutter around the house that has been accumulating.
Husband has been working hard on handling toddler tantrums with more patience instead of calling in the reinforcements (me). Gives me a break and helps break the precedent of mommy the problem solver.
Mathy says
My 7yo son, always the athletic one but has never been in team sports before, was asked to join a flag football team this fall (probably because he’s huge and they needed some size on the line). While I have lots of feelings about football in general, he is absolutely thriving and loves being on a team. He’s making friends, and honestly, he’s pretty good at it so far. I love seeing how thrilled he is when he makes a good play.
My 2yo daughter has such determination. She spent several minutes trying to get her shoes on and velcro-ed “by myself” this morning, and she nailed it. She was so proud and came up to me and said “Mama yook (look), I did it!” and jumped with excitement.
My 6mo son is such a delight. He smiles at everyone and is so excited to see his brother and sister in the morning. His coos are amazing. And he loves food! Like any food – making baby food is my favorite, too :)
Anon says
8 yo was remined of school year, ‘no screen time during the week,’ rule, just shrugged his shoulders and said, “ok.” Also ate vegetables at dinner without complaining the first time – maybe ever?
2 yo is really into coloring and whenever she finishes, she runs around the house with the end product yelling, “wow!” and waits for a similarly enthusiastic reaction from whomever she shows it to. Including the dog.
Vicky Austin says
“Including the dog” ha! that’s just adorable.
I’m 11 weeks, so I can’t play exactly, but reading everyone’s stories has me looking forward so joyfully to raising kids after a few anxious moments lately. Thank you all for sharing.
Clementine says
Yay!
You know, people really undersold me on how fun it was to have kids. Like… I actually was told all the hard stuff, but not enough people told me how fun it was to take a 6 year old out to a diner and ask him about his thoughts on the world.
Anonymous says
6 y/o- very confident and passionate. Will do what she wants/likes without any concern for what people think of her or how many friends are or are not participating. I hope she never loses this! Also, incredible fashion sense.
4 y/o- friendly and kind to everyone she meets. Will seek out a lonely looking kid and cozy right up to them. She did not get that from me so it’s a quality I very much admire!
9 y/o- has found herself in a crowd of popular/well liked girls. Is very proactive about including everyone that wants to be with them. My heart melted when she told me she formed a club at school and needed to “make enough (membership) bracelets so if everyone in class wants to join we have enough. They probably won’t but this way we won’t run out. And maybe a few extras for little siblings.” Also, can take disappointment and constructive criticism extremely well. Better than most adults.
Spirograph says
Aw, planning extra bracelets for everyone+the little siblings is such a Big Sister move. how sweet!
AwayEmily says
Extra bracelets AND thinking about little siblings! I love this.
Boston Legal Eagle says
My 6 year old seems so much more mature (relative to last year, he’s still little!) in first grade this year compared to last year in K. He’s riding the bus by himself, is writing full sentences and reading. He also absolutely loved the rides at Disneyland and is at such a fun age to try everything, and is at that fun little kid stage where you can take him places and he can listen to directions and take care of himself. He is also a pro at legos, as mentioned here before.
My almost 4 year old is really into creative play and it’s so fun to see the games he comes up with. The two of them play together fairly well now – there is much less parental supervision needed, although of course at night, there are always tears at some point.
My husband is getting back into working out and eating well, which makes him feel better, I think.
And I have some work challenges coming up, but my boss is 100% in my corner, my team is great, and that makes all the difference.
Spirograph says
I need this today, I’ll play. :) And yay for the speech gains, Clementine, that is wonderful!
9yo rode his bike home from school (one mile, one busy cross street) alone earlier this week! Normally all the kids get picked up together, but logistics needs dictated. He came right home safely and on time and was so proud to be independent. It’s struck me this week how much of a real person he is…he’s just doing his own thing and being awesome at it.
7yo has a game where she invents a “treehouse” and describes it to me in detail. Yesterday’s treehouse was a car the size of a single-story home, made out of squishy material, with two bathrooms and a robot that drives and empties the septic tank while you’re taking a break at the mall. Her imagination is something to behold.
6yo is always very affectionate, but he’s taking it to an 11 this week and also mimicking conversations I have with DH — while I’m making dinner each night, he’s sits in kitchen and says in his best grown-up manner, “so, Mommy, how was your day today? How was work?” and chats while I cook “so [I] don’t get lonely and miss Daddy too much”
My husband abruptly left last weekend to help with a family emergency and has been gone all week, but he set up carpool for sports practices and took care of the week’s meal plan+groceries. I love him for being there for his family member who needed him, and also for handling those big things at home to make my week slightly less stressful.
Cb says
Ooh, that’s amazing re the bike riding. We have a similar bike commute, and I was wondering when he might be able to do that solo or with a pal.
Spirograph says
It was a revelation! It’s definitely kid and situation-dependent. Our neighborhood has hills, no sidewalks and lots of street parking, so it’s a pretty high degree of difficulty for safety. We bike a lot as a family; there’s no way I’d trust either of my younger kids on that route without an adult, but the oldest is big/visible, stays on the right side of the street and is cautious at street crossings, so I felt pretty OK about it.
Pogo says
We’re still required to supervise up until middle school (grade 5). So you can ride your bike with your kid, but can’t send them on their own via bike. But that’s probably the age I’d feel comfortable with anyway? We also have a slightly-less-than-one-mile, 1 crossing commute to school.
Anonymous says
Same–we have to go inside the school and sign elementary kids out unless they are riding the bus, in which case we have to meet them at the bus stop.
Spirograph says
Independent school arrival & dismissal is allowed starting in 4th grade at our school (K-5), but only 5th graders are allowed to supervise younger siblings. For before/after care, a caregiver must be physically present to sign the kids in and out irrespective of grade level. I think there are different rules for bus stops, but my kids have never ridden the bus so I didn’t pay attention to those.
Cb says
My son has settled into school so well and has become best friends with a little girl in his class who was new to the community (didn’t come through the school nursery). They are so, so sweet together.
And my mom is visiting and they are really bonding. She’s been taking him to school and they have the best chats on their walk. I think by giving her responsibility for him, they’ve bonded more?
Mary Moo Cow says
This is lovely!
My 7 year old started a book club at her school: she and 4 other girls make books during recess. She brought hers home yesterday: stapled half sheets of copy paper with leaves and grass taped to the pages, bark etchings, and descriptions of the items.
My 5 year old told me reading and baking with me are her favorite hobbies.
anon says
My 14-month old is just so loving and sweet. He scoots around the house doing his weird hermit crab crawl (his favorite), but when he spots me he takes a break and comes over for the best hug ever. It melts my heart every time. I just want to hold on to these moments (and hugs) forever.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Ok, this is good. Forces me to focus on something else besides the fact that we’re all crusty, slightly congested, and achy (no fevers so everyone is in school), and that the toddler has had some loose BMs…
4.5 year old – loves his new school/class! Has told me, DH, my Mom, and his teacher that he doesn’t miss his old school/class at all. He’s been super cranky in the mornings (see above on cold) and today I just held him for like a few minutes while waiting the toaster oven and it was SUCH a reset.
20 month old – I’m just seeing him “get” more things – not sure if it’s the age or new school or what. He is getting better at focused play (when DS #1 doesn’t interrupt), follows directions well, and is improving (SLOWLY) with words and not throwing food/making mealtime a complete disaster zone (for now).
Marshmallow says
I love this. Our big win recently is that our 3YO wakes up at a reasonable time every morning (6:30 or 7:00), comes in our room for snuggles, and then goes into her own room BY HERSELF to choose her outfit and get dressed while Mom and Dad get a little more sleep. She’s so proud of herself for being independent. She constantly shows me that she remembered to put on undies, her tags are in the back, etc.
GCA says
Just-turned-4yo: is getting more confident, also taller, and so more able to climb the structures at big sib’s school playground without needing constant help. She also has a formidable imagination: The other day she dangled from the climbing frame pretending she was a sloth.
7yo: Remains my early bird, up before 6am daily, but now will read on his own without waking us up! I am also beginning to suspect he can walk the 1/3 of a mile to school on his own, and am going to suggest an informal walking group to some of the other neighborhood parents. On the other hand, he is so absent-minded that on the second day of school he forgot what his teacher looked like and we spent several minutes hunting for his class.
anonM says
Somehow my one-day goofy idea has turned into a ritual. The kids pretend to be birds in my “nest” (lap) while “eating worms.” Sounds so silly, I know, but when they cuddle up and call me “mama birdy” it is just the cutest.
AwayEmily says
This reminds me of a game my kids used to play a year ago where they would curl up into balls and pretend to be baby birds in their shells while I got progressively more excited about them hatching and then they would JUMP up and I would say “my baby birds hatched!!!!” and smother them in kisses. I should restart that.
Anonymous says
I love these kinds of things. My kids have hooded towels and at some point (when they were much smaller) they started curling up on the floor under the towel and my husband would pretend to trip over the “rock” picking them up and throwing them onto our bed to get the rock out of the hallway. Now the smallest one weighs ~60 lbs and still gets out of the shower and yells, “there’s a rock in the house!!” and waits to be picked up. When I throw my back out, you’ll know why.
EDAnon says
This is lovely.
My 6yo is loving school and runs in the door every day (even today after he had a harder day yesterday).
My 3yo loves his brother, so he asked if we could let him walk into school without us. Of course, we cannot because he is in daycare, but I gave him tons of space. And it was a total transformation from crying at drop off, which was amazing.
Also, the two of them love each other so much. Of course, they fight as two people will when they spend a TON of time together. But they truly like spending time together which is so fun for us as parents.
Boots says
Anyone have recommendations for less than expensive toddler rain boots? Mine basically refused to wear boots all of last spring and fall and we’re still moving through shoe sizes rapidly, so I don’t want to spend $50. But I do still want boots that actually keep my child’s feet dry (which in my experience is not true of all “rain” boots).
Clementine says
My best experiences are with Bogs and Crocs rain boots. If you look online, you can almost always find a pair on sale in a random print.
Anon says
Crocs are the best- so light because they don’t weigh a kid down. Easy to find use don fb marketplace for cheap too!
Mathy says
We’ve had great luck with Cat & Jack boots at Target. I always get them on local mom to mom sites but in the store I think you can buy a pair for $15 or so.
anon says
My favorites were a pair of hand-me-down Crocs. They’re so much lighter than the typical rain boot!
Mary Moo Cow says
We’ve had good luck with rain boots from Primary (don’t know that they have any in stock now) and Western Chief.
Anonymous says
I posted below about Target but we did love the primary ones when they sold them too! We did not like the heels on western chief.
Anon says
Totes Cirrus Rain Boots. I’ve rebought them in size little kid 8 all the way up to big kid 3 because we love them so much.
Anonymous says
We live in OR so boots are a primary form of footwear from late September through June. The Target ones have been great and are worn by 2/3 of the kids at preschool. They have lasted more than one kid. My older child also likes Crocs rain boots (if you have a toddler with extremely chubby legs these will not work, ask me how I know). Do not buy Lone Cone if you want them to last through more than one kid. My kids’ feet grow very very fast so something like Bogs is out of our price range.
startup lawyer says
I actually really disliked the Crocs rainboots because it was super hard to put on. We got a pair of hand me down ones from Tote that work well.
Anonymous says
Impossible to put on a chubby 18 month old but totally fine on a 7 year old who has OPINIONS.
Anon says
Target has cute and cheap ones. My oldest kid refused to wear any type of rubbery boot though, so we have expensive but soft bogs. If you can buy through Leo adventures, they do a discount.
Vicky Austin says
Paging the anon who shared a baby shopping list with Deedee yesterday – can I get in on that train? [email protected] :)
Anonymous says
Sent!
avocado says
Best gifts for 2-year-olds? I have two nieces turning 2 soon and for some reason am having a hard time thinking of gifts. Their older brothers are easy to shop for because they have very definite interests, but these two are not that way yet. I’m looking for toys or books that are cool and current but a little off the beaten path so they won’t already have them, or useful things that also feel “fancy” so the moms will like them. I usually spend about $35 but am flexible.
AwayEmily says
Wimmelbooks are really fun for kids that age.
Clementine says
Tuffo muddy buddy suit and a kids’ umbrella? Costume dress up set?
Some books we really like: ‘shhhh, we have a plan’, ‘VROOM!’, ‘There was an old dragon who swallowed a night’.
I also am 100% into the ‘princess dress but it’s really a nightgown’ situation from Target.
We’ve also done hand puppets with a book. Specifically, Melissa and Doug Princess/Castle/Dragon puppets with ‘there was an old dragon’.
Anonymous says
I’ll give you my 18 month old twins’ Christmas list (they’re boys but I don’t think it matters at this age):
Duplos
Magnatiles
M&D doctor kit (they really like the cell phone because it makes noise, so fair warning)
M&D pots and pans
Baby dolls
Workhorse toys we already own:
Green Toys trucks
Brio train set
Dress up clothes
M&D house cleaning supplies
M&D tea set
Practical gifts we’ve appreciated in the past:
Bath toys/colors
Rain coats
Any and all board books
Anon says
For my twin girls second birthday they got some dr Seuss happy birthday to you book and the Melissa and Doug bday cake that comes with candles, sprinkles etc. at age 4 both are still used
Lily says
Any of the Melissa and Doug cooking sets (we have the cake set with stand mixer, the smoothie set with a blender, and the ice cream set with scoop, cones, toppings, etc.). Got them at around 2 and still going strong with them at almost 4. And my 1 year old loves them too. These are all between $20 and $40, I think.
If you want to do one bigger thing and one smaller thing, the water wow coloring pads are a huge hit and no-mess, perfect for travel, car rides, etc.
Anon says
Play silks are trendy among the Montessori set. Play food is usually super popular with kids that age. If they like to clean, maybe dust busters? Rolls of masking tape? If you want books, my kids really like Monica Wellington books like Red Hen Farm.
Update from yesterday says
Update on the reluctant medicine taker. While mixing with apple sauce was a decided fail, mixing with choclate pudding last night worked! The key was also that I only mixed with half a cup so I only had to make sure she got that much in her.
This morning I mixed it with honey vanilla greek yogurt which was then mixed with granola. she was mad I’d already made her breakfast (while sneaking her medicine in) so I got out sprinkles for her to add to the top. And she ate it!
Um, can you tell this is also my picky eater? But so glad she got the medicine in her and we’ll just have to do a dessert detox in ten days.
Mathy says
I missed your thread yesterday but I will try these. The last time we were prescribed medicine for my 2yo she made herself vomit every time she swallowed it. It’s impressive tbh but exhausting as a parent.
OP says
“Impressive TBH but Exhausting As a Parent” is going to be the name of the chapter of my future my memoir devoted to my third child at age 3.
Check yesterday for more good ideas! Really appreciated everyone weighing in!
Anonymous says
lol, yes this is a chapter in every memoir that includes parenthood. I love it
Vicky Austin says
My sister was like this – a wise hospital nurse once was trying to get cough syrup into her and said, “Do you want some strawberry sauce on your ice cream?” Sister’s eyes turned to saucers, she nodded big time, and ate the whole thing. (Pretty sure my mom also did a dessert detox once she was better!)
Anon says
Best way to gracefully exit a job after maternity leave? I will be out for 4-6 months and plan on returning for a few months before giving notice. I am not unhappy with the job/workplace but feeling that this job is no longer a good fit for this stage of life because it requires a lot of my emotional energy (public defender) and I have a long commute. This was fine pre-kid but I am finding it unsustainable while raising small kids (big job spouse who tries his best to be present but can’t really take on much of the load other than making money to throw at the problem).
I also have no idea what I will do next but it will not be PD work—so open to suggestions.
Anonymous says
Here are a few jobs I see public defenders move on to:
– Appellate defender
– Administrator at state indigent defense authority
– Law school clinical or legal writing instructor
– Roles with policy and advocacy organizations
The ABA SCLAID Public Defense News e-mail newsletter has job listings. Most are for trial-level defenders but there are usually a few others.
Lily says
If you like/are good at writing, appellate defender would be a good fit. I imagine it’s the type of work you may be able to do remotely or mostly remotely and have flexible hours since you just need to produce briefs/motions. Your schedule would be mostly predictable since brief deadlines are generally set ahead of time. No idea what pay is like (I assume it’s as good or better than PD) and you’d still be serving the same mission.
Anonymous says
Do be aware that appellate defender work will involve some degree of client and family contact. Client contact will typically include some travel to prisons, which are generally less conveniently located than local jails, but not super frequently especially since remote visitation is now more of a thing since COVID.
Pogo says
I don’t think you need to do/say anything special – you’re resigning to move on to different opportunities, if you don’t have anything lined up, can just say you’re taking some time off to find the right fit. I think that’s graceful enough.
Clementine says
I know a number of attorneys with a litigation background who work for local governments as Corporation Counsel or similar, or work for Government agencies. The actual lawsuits against state agencies are represented by the State AG in court; however, the attorneys work very normal schedules and get to do interesting work.
Pay is $100k-ish.
Fallen says
How many extracurriculars do your kids do? I have a very energetic kids who wants to do it all. She’s on gymnastics team, swim team (requires no driving because of aftercare), choir (before school so NBD), jazz. She’s telling me she wants me to sign her up for karate, tennis, and art! What’s the balance between supporting her interests and also everyone being super-overscheduled? She’s in 4th grade if it matters. All her friends seem to do a ton to do, but they are mostly with SAHM who also have nannies to help with driving. Thankfully my other one is 4 so he only does soccer and swim, and husband helps a lot with driving.
OP says
Also want to add she tried all these activities at her after-care at the Y so it’s not a I just want to try it type situation, but the level of instruction there is pretty basic and she wants more intense instruction/competition. E.g., she finds her gymnastics at aftercare boring compared to being on the gymnastics team.
gym mom says
I am a little surprised that she has time for all these other things on top of gymnastics. What level and how many hours a week? As a mom who has been there and done that, I’d let her pick one other activity that meets no more than once a week so she has something else lined up for when she is done with gymnastics (the vast majority move on at some point in middle school), but no more. My kid was in a relatively slow-moving program and was only doing L3 at 9 hours in fourth grade, but adding all the school extracurriculars on top was too much for me. The next year when she went to 12 hours we said nope to most of the school activities.
Anon says
Our rule is no two-a-days, at least two weekdays without an activity, and nothing that interferes with church. One of our kids does a collective dance team 3 days/week, plus a once-weekly tennis lesson. She occasionally plays tennis matches as an alternate but once a month or less. The other plays baseball (2 prescribed and a game) and takes a golf lesson once a week.
Spirograph says
Our general rule is one thing that requires parent driving at a time. You can do all the things, but not all at once. 4th grader does a travel sport that is a pretty big time commitment during the season. Younger kids are still in once-a-week club-style activities on the weekend. All do piano lessons (my requirement), but the teacher comes to our house once a week. And church choir, but that’s just a half hour immediately after the church service.
We use the summer to try out different things with camps — swim camp and tennis camp were hits this past summer, but the kids are happy to just swim and play tennis for fun; they aren’t clamoring for more structure on an ongoing basis. Our aftercare program offers tons of activities, and anything that doesn’t require extra time or driving is fine with me.
AwayEmily says
I think what’s appropriate varies SO much by family. I have a good friend whose kids each do several sports plus various activities, and they are all happy as clams and while they are certainly busy, they also make plenty of time for family stuff. Meanwhile, we have a 6yo and a 4yo and have never done any activities. Zero. They both need a lot of decompression time and our queries about whether they would like to do [dance/soccer/t-ball/etc] with their friends are always met with a “no, thank you.” Maybe someday this will change, but who knows. Anyway, tldr is you do you! don’t worry about if other people say you are overscheduled or underscheduled, if you and your kids are happy (and not too frantic), that is what matters.
Anon says
I always look for your comments on these threads, because we’re the same way. My 5 year old has done nothing. Literally nothing. We’ve suggested it but haven’t pushed it and she has shown no interest. The one exception is swim lessons, which we’re going to force next summer (wanted to do it this summer but didn’t get off the waitlist in time).
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
THIS – whatever you’re good with is good.
My kids are <5, so outside of preschool/daycare, they do swim on Sat AM and that's it. Like others here, I see swim as a life skill vs. extracurricular. DS #1 has mentioned some interest in playing an instrument so we may start that in the coming year or two. I know things will be different in elementary, so I just don't see the need to calendar too many things just yet, and I also want to do things I know kids are interested in.
DS #1 did soccer for a bit (before swim on Sat AM), but we stopped it in summer as it's way too hot where we live. Now that soccer is offered at the new school, I plan to sign him up there when a spot opens up, if he's still interested.
One of my BFFs takes her 4 year old to martial arts 3x/week after work (class is 5-6pm I think), in addition to weekday swim class once a week, while the 2 year old stays back. Both kids do soccer on Saturday AMs (not in peak summer). This works for her and her family but sounds like a nightmare for me personally, and would not work with my work schedule.
GCA says
I feel like this even varies by kid – my extroverted high-energy 7yo is doing:
– soccer: he likes it enough that it may become his ‘primary’ activity eventually
– hip-hop: trying this out for a term because he did a trial session and enjoyed it
– swim: non-negotiable because we are in and around water a fair bit
– Scouts: because his friends are doing it
my more chilled-out 4yo is doing swim and gymnastics; what gets her into the water or onto the mat is the fact that her friends are there as well.
Boston Legal Eagle says
This sounds like my kids – my older one would probably like hip hop as he’s been showing us his “breakdance” moves lately!
AwayEmily says
My 6yo DESPERATELY wants to take breakdancing lessons but I haven’t been able to find any.
Anonymous says
I’d just say no. Sorry babes you can’t do all the things. Time and money are not infinite.
Anonymous says
Yep. You can’t have it all. Or you can, but not all at once.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Timely as we’re trying to figure out how much to sign our first grader up for the fall! He’s doing soccer (1x during the week, games Saturdays) and swim (1x a week on Saturday). Anything more than that in the fall would be too much, I think, but we may add another sport in the winter when soccer ends. He’s a very active kid, so keeping busy probably helps him. Our younger one (almost 4) does swim, for safety mostly, and he’s the kind of kid who would probably be fine doing nothing and just staying home. So it’s both family and kid dependent.
Anonymous says
My kid is in 3rd and also wants to do it all. I have 3 kids. We try and do most things, but not year round.
Fall:
Soccer (2 weeknight practices, one travel game on the weekends)
Softball clinic (one weeknight, same one her little sister does, happens while 3rd kid is at dance down the street)
Lacrosse clinic- late fall (only a few weeks overlap with soccer)
Chess club- 30 minutes after school 1x/week
Winter:
Ski- maybe Dev team, mostly family trips
Basketball- in town league (no travel). One weeknight and one weekend.
Tennis- weekday clinic, weekend match play (optional, we do it when we aren’t skiing).
Chess club
Spring:
Softball- one weekday practice, weekend travel game (Sat)
Lacrosse: two weekday practices, weekend travel game (Sun)
Tennis- early spring (ends in April before softball starts)
Chess club
Summer:
Tennis team @ our swim club (daily)
Swim team @ our swim club (daily)
Travel summer softball league two practices & a weekend game
My younger kids do:
6 y/o: softball (once/week), Girl Scouts (1-2 things/month), musical theatre (once/week), dance (once/week), will do lax in spring which is 2x/week. She skis in winter. Does swim team in summer. Does a drop in tennis clinic when she feels like it that runs when big sister’s does. She’s lobbying for piano lessons but we’ll see on that.
4 y/o: soccer (Sundays), gymnastics (once/week right after PK before big sisters get home), dance (same time as big sister softball, right nearby). On Fridays when she doesn’t have PK I have her signed up for winter ski lessons.
We have a lot of carpools, we don’t make every practice/game, and none of my kids are going to be collegiate athletes. They just like being active and I’m all about letting that happen.
Anonymous says
FWIW your daughter does the two worst ones (other than hockey). Gymnastics is year round and swim is like a 20 week season around here. We do a very casual summer swim team and call it down. Mine did gymnastics until they could cartwheel and do a walkover then quit, which I was thrilled about.
Anonymous says
I have hockey! confirming it is The Worst
Anonymous says
Gymnastics is truly terrible. Where we live all the gyms have daytime practices during the summer, which means you have to drop your kid off at like 9 a.m., pick her up at like 1 p.m., feed her lunch in the car, and whisk her to a half-day camp. Even with WFH it is a lot. Year-round it’s 3-4 hours a day, 3-5 days a week depending on level.
DLC says
I was looking back on my childhood diaries and when I was nine I had activities six days a week- (piano lessons, voice lessons, gymnastics, soccer, church group.). My mother ran her own retail store and did most of the driving. I think about this a lot because I am really resistant to putting my kids (10, 5 and 3) in any activities because I find it exhausting, but when I remember what I got to do as a child, I feel like I’m not trying as hard as my own mother did to encourage my kids’ interests.
I feel like if you have the money and can handle the logistics then let your fourth grader do all the things. She will tell you if she feels like it is too much. I think at this age our job is to help our kids navigate the buffet of life, not dictate what goes on their plate. (If logistically it is hard for your family that is a discussion with your daughter as well to help her narrow down what she really wants to do. Like maybe she can save something to do during a winter break camp or spring break camps?)
For the record, my ten year old does swimming, piano, and basketball.
(The five year old and three year old do one thing a piece.)
Anon says
Just chiming in that you are a person, too, and if you find too many activities exhausting then that is a completely valid reason to say no. You can encourage children’s interests in other ways – reading, playing in the back yard (as a family or with friends), or letting them mess around and figure things out while being bored at home! You are letting your kids do some extracurriculars, which is great and enough for this moment, and you are not neglecting their “personal and social development” or whatever is the guilty buzzword these days.
Anon says
+1
Anonymous says
+2. Also part of navigating the buffet of life is learning not to put too much on your plate.
GCA says
‘Help kids navigate the buffet of life’ – I love this. My parents both worked, so in elementary school I had basically no activities during the week other than the clubs on offer at my school (very recreational tennis, math club). I pleaded for dance classes to no avail – back then, they both worked a half day Saturdays, which was the same time as dance. Finally when I got old enough to take public transit on my own (city kid), I found myself a dance studio nearby and told my parents how I would get there and back, but it meant that I started ballet much, much later than my peers. Arguably, however, I was more passionate about it and stuck with it longer than my peers who were burnt out from dancing since they were tiny.
Anon says
My oldest (7) loves extracurriculars. She does ballet twice a week, gymnastics once and is on a soccer team. She’ll drop soccer and do softball in the spring and swim team in the summer. This is doable for us? I don’t think we could do more.
The reason it’s doable is my second is just less interested! He’s on a soccer team that’s only on the weekends and does tennis because he gets driven there by someone else and it’s super easy for me. So I think the answer to this question is two fold. What does your kid like and what can they handle? And then what can you handle? And if the answer is, a lot, then I think it’s fine to do a ton! And if not, I’d try to space them out – sign up for a week long jazz camp in summer for example. I use summer camps to fill in gaps for activities they wish they could do during the year.
Anon says
DD does gymnastics (1x per week, semi-private lesson with a friend), tennis (same), piano, voice, jazz (1x per week), Chinese (1x week) and will start a show in October (2X week). In writing this out, it feels ridiculous, but it’s actually not that bad in reality.
DSs do Scouts, hockey (2X week), Chinese (1x week) and piano
My kids do better when scheduled. We do have a nanny to help with driving.
Anon says
Can you send her to these camps next summer? That is a lot.
Anon says
My 4 year old has done short (6-8 week) sessions of soccer, ninja warrior and dance. None of them connected with her, and we haven’t continued them. I would like her to try theater, because I think it would really suit her personality, but our community theater just canceled their preschool classes so we’ll have to wait until she’s in K, which probably means waiting until first grade because I don’t want to overwhelm her with activities when she’s starting kindergarten. I’m also interested in her potentially joining Girl Scouts in elementary school since I did a similar program and had a great experience. She is pretty artsy so we also have our eye out for arts classes, but there isn’t a ton for this age group in our area. She’ll most likely do some art-themed summer camps next summer. To be honest, I don’t think she’s very athletic (takes after me) and I’m more interested in exposing her to non-sport stuff she might like since I feel like she’ll get plenty of exposure to all the basic sports in school PE. We try to incorporate exercise into our family life through walking, hiking, biking, etc. She seems to be taking after me and finds hiking the least awful form of exercise ;) She climbed a (small) mountain in New England this summer. We will do swim lessons at some point, but I’m not sure when. Until very recently she was terrified of water so at this point our main goal is just getting her comfortable being in the water with a family member. We’ll worry about independent swimming later. I didn’t learn to swim until I was 8 and am now a very strong swimmer who loves being in the water. At least for now, our rule for no more than one activity at a time.
anonforthis says
Some close friends (but closer to my husband) just lost a much awaited first pregnancy at around 15 weeks. We live near them so can drop something off or have it delivered, but would like to send something ASAP. Thoughts on what is best to send? My inclination is to send something more for the wife (can’t imagine what she’s going through physically, ugh), but I know her husband also lost a baby and is very sad. Maybe something specific for her, and something for both of them? Please help! Willing to spend up to $150 total.
Anonymous says
Spoonful of Comfort soup care packages are usually well received.
Hmmmm says
Second this
Anonymous says
My sister lost a baby around that point in the pregnancy, and she appreciated every single gift/acknowledgment so much. I would do a gift card for food delivery and a heartfelt condolence card.
Anonymous says
I get the impulse to send something, but personally, I wouldn’t have wanted/ needed a “thing.” Maybe flowers. You should just be a good friend and check in regularly via text, invite her out for distracting activities, etc. And if she doesn’t respond or doesn’t want to participate, that’s fine.
Anon says
You’re not supposed to send flowers when someone dies, and I would think that extends to pregnancy loss as well?
Anonymous says
You’re not supposed to send flowers when someone dies? I thought the tradition was that you did send flowers, and then people got overwhelmed with all the flowers and started requesting donations in lieu of flowers, but I was not aware that it was improper to send flowers.
Anonymous says
There’s nothing wrong with sending flowers.
Pogo says
what? People always send flowers when someone dies. I’m so confused.
Anon says
Having had two miscarriages and two chemical pregnancies in the last 3 years, I personally very much appreciated flowers. Either white sympathy ones recognizing the grief or super bright and cheerful ones to brighten my day knowing there wasn’t much to be cheerful about (know your audience). Someone from my office sent us a soup package which was nice too. I have sent flowers to friends who have also suffered miscarriages and it has been appreciated, particularly because if it is a first trimester loss, there is the unspoken rule you don’t talk about it (I talk about it) and the flowers are a tangible recognition and acknowledgment that a life was lost and grief can be an appropriate response.
Anon at 11:38 says
Ok I looked this up and apparently it’s only a Jewish thing. Sorry! Carry on, assuming your loved one is not Jewish.
Anon says
I sent flowers when my sister in law had a late miscarriage. I think it is common because she got quite a few bouquets.
Anon says
I got SO MANY FLOWERS when FIL died and I loved every single one of them. Also got them for each of my MCs from my closets friends – the acknowledgment was so appreciated.
An.On. says
Know your audience, but would a nice piece of jewelry work for the wife? Not necessarily like a birthstone or anything like that, but just a nice piece that they can wear without people associating it with the baby, but could hold special meaning for her. Like something like this: https://www.sundancecatalog.com/product/new+revolutions+necklace.do?sortby=ourPicksAscend&refType=&from=fn
Anonymous says
I think this is very much a know your audience thing. I personally would not want something that would constantly remind me of the loss at random times; I’d prefer to choose when to think about it.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I second the recommendations for food, or a gift card to doordash or whatever place they like to eat.
When one of my parents died, the meal train that work set up was a lifesaver. I look back on those very sad days and remember dinner just magically showing up as a bright spot.
OP says
Thanks all! Am going to send them some fresh pasta & homemade sauce for a few meals from Gold belly. I also bought a grief-themed book of poetry that is highly reviewed for the wife. I know it’s a gamble, but she’s a big reader and I suspect she may like it.
Isabella says
How can I make my yard more usable for playing outside? First LO is still barely crawling, so we still have all the phases in our future. We bought a big property partly for kids, but I’m regretfully realizing I’ve forgotten how to play outside. We were bad at yardwork before, and it’s only gotten so much worse now that time and money are tighter!
Currently, we have a goofy dogpen outside door 1, a raised patio outside door 2, some grass under dying trees and a bunch of abandoned farm fields. I used to have a small veggie patch in a raised bed, which never actually grew anything. Desert climate and we can’t water very much. WWYD?
Spirograph says
Leave it. My kids play with sticks, dig, and go around picking random leaves and flowers for whatever they’re pretending the pile of stuff is taht day. They make up games with packs of neighbor kids. When they were younger, they pushed push toys around and played with a water table. Your children will have fun in whatever outdoor space is available to them, and yours sounds totally fine! I would have loved abandon farm fields when I was a kid — my siblings and I spent most of our time crawling around under bushes and brambles and making “houses” there. Also exploring the tiny trickle of a creek that ran behind all the properties on our street.
AwayEmily says
Yup. Put some plastic Adirondack chairs out there so you can sit there with a beer while your kid putters around. Maybe a swingset at some point. Everything else is on an as-needed basis (tho water always makes things better — we have a rain barrel with a spout and a hose, and both get a lot of use).
anon says
Maybe a picnic table with an umbrella for some family dinners? I like saving things like that for a “family” Christmas gift. You could also suggest some hand shovels, kid gloves, watering can, dump truck toy, etc. as gifts for birthdays/holidays. We have also gotten tons of use of coup cars, 4yo still loves his. We got them both used.
For the veggie patch, throw a tarp over it this winter to kill all the weeds w/o much work! Then in the spring throw in something that grows easily in your climate (in midwest here, but 2 cherry tomato plants are perfect for the kids to enjoy, and very little work overall).
Anon says
My kids (7, 6, and 3) would love the property exactly as described! Don’t worry if you’ve forgotten how to play outside – they’ll know. Once LO gets a bit bigger, maybe invest in a playset (swingset/fort situation)? Ours gets a ton of use and it sounds like you have the space! And then I’d focus on making an area outside that’s comfortable for you to hang out in while they explore and play!
DLC says
One thing that made a big difference for us was making sure there is a shady spot or two in the yard.
anon says
This may be late in the day, but any tips for getting over work mess ups? Lately, I’ve made some very minor-in-the-grand-scheme errors, but ones that either annoyed my boss or ended up creating confusion. Lawyer, very small office, sophisticated clients/opposing counsel. One was a typo to a meeting time that ended up meaning the meeting didn’t happen and had to be rescheduled. (We had agreed on a specific time and date, but in a later follow up I wrote an obviously wrong time, so the opposing counsel secretary set it for the entirely wrong time, ack!). The client wasn’t upset at me, but it was frustrating and makes me doubt myself even more.