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My oldest wants her own suitcase — I’m secretly thrilled because I’m hoping I won’t have to haul her stuff anymore.
Here’s a hard-sided spinner that she will be delighted with now and not embarrassed by in a few years. This suitcase is made of water-resistant acrylic and lined with recycled polyester. The three interior pockets hold plenty of clothes, shoes, and even a laptop. You can even monogram it to make it special.
Pottery Barn Kids’ Hard-Sided Spinner Luggage is $169.50 for a small and $199.50 for a large. In addition to blush, it also comes in indigo (large only).
Sales of note for 8.30.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 20% off
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lands’ End – 40% off sitewide; 50% off backpacks, 40% off kids’ apparel
- Loft – Summer sale, 30% off new arrivals; up to 50% off much more
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- Zappos – 28,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off everything
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 40% off everything
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off sitewide; extra 50% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 50-60% off; 50% off pants for the family
- Target – 20% off select clothing for all; up to 50% off home; up to 30% off select nursery furniture; up to 30% off kitchen & dining
Anonymous says
Y’all I did the thing yesterday! I revamped my resume, called a former colleague to ask for a resume review and see if she had any job leads, and responded to some recruiters. All during naptime. I had been putting off calling the colleague because it had been so long since we worked together, but she was so helpful and understanding.
Pogo says
woohooo! you got this.
Cb says
I rarely use my carry-on rolly these days. I prefer to just check one bigger bag with all our stuff, and travel lightly through the airport. I know this is controversial, but I think European airports are better at getting bags out on the belt quickly. By the time we clear passport control, our bags are there.
I fly 2x a week but on very small planes and I hate having to wrangle bags into the overhead bin.
Anonymous says
That’s funny – we just bought two huge Patagonia black hole bags in the post holidays sales for this reason. Until my kids are older and can wheel their own bags, we will be checking.
GCA says
Oh interesting! For solo work travel I prefer not to check a bag so I can just roll straight off the plane and into the subway. But yeah, for family travel I prefer to check one big bag for all of us and then kids get their own backpacks with books, snacks, a change of clothes. I’m not wrangling two kids AND several carry-ons through the airport, thank you.
nb. the featured PBkids luggage costs more than my own trusty little spinner, which I dug up at Marshalls.
Boston Legal Eagle says
The PBKids stock images seem to only have pink and blue options, and very clearly mark pink for girls and blue for boys. Hmm. Where are the gender neutral animals or literally any other color?
We got some kids target ones that worked fine, although the outside got scraped up by the time we got back.
Anon says
We have Target spinners that have been great. I would never invest a lot of money in kids luggage.
Pogo says
I do think European airports are better – I had a crazy short layover at CDG recently and my bag made it onto the plane before I did.
I am team carryon only for most trips, but with family, 100% gotta check it.
Anon says
I do think Europe is better at managing checked bags, but I still hate waiting and there’s always a risk the bags don’t get there or get damaged (Air Dolomiti destroyed our “gate checked” stroller).
Since my kid turned 4 we’ve gone carry on only everywhere. It’s sooo freeing. We’ll probably have to break that when we go to Australia for two weeks next year but normally our trips are one week or less and not having a checked bag is really nice. For long weekend trips I can sometimes even pack me and kid in the same carryon so we only have two suitcases for the three of us.
anon says
It’s so interesting that you say it feels freeing, because that is why I check. Too many years of schlepping my carryon for work travel, then trying to schlep three kids plus carryons through the airport have made me team checked bag forever. I LOVE the sensation of handing it to the agent and walking away with just my kid in the stroller and my airplane backpack.
Also, I totally had a gate-checked stroller destroyed by Delta, like literally snapped in half. All I can assume is that a baggage cart ran over it on the tarmac or soemthing.
Anon says
Yeah I think a baggage cart ran over our stroller too! That’s definitely what it looked like.
I think it depends on age and # of kids. I still remember the first trip we took post-pandemic when my then 3 year old wore her own backpack and we checked a giant suitcase and a car seat and walked on the plane unencumbered – that definitely felt very freeing too compared to travel when she was younger. But since she turned 4, we haven’t used a car seat or stroller for travel and she’s been able to reliably push her own carry-on, so traveling carry-on only with her isn’t that different than traveling solo and I love being able to walk off the plane and be at the curb 5-10 minutes later. We have Global Entry, PreCheck all that, so the airport experience is super fast for us if we don’t have checked bags. And as mentioned, for shorter trips I can often get away with combining us in one carry on, which is even easier because then she has no luggage to push.
Anon says
This bag is more than every piece of luggage we have combined!
I’ve gotten my roller bags at TJ Maxx. They’ve gotten beat up but still work perfectly fine.
There’s no way I’m spending this much on kids luggage!
Anonymous says
Has anyone tried those ride-on suitcases for kids? Very curious about whether they’re worth it. My kids are 2 and 4, and I could see them being a great way to skip the stroller and avoid bag check. Is that wishful thinking?
Anon says
I think it’s basically a cute gimmick that’s impractical in real life. A stroller (even a cheap umbrella one) is so much easier for a parent to handle. Plus they hold so little (the ones I’ve seen are about the volume of a backpack) I feel like it’s not a way to get out of checking bags.
Anonymous says
Random Friday question- I have two kids, and the youngest, age 4, gets a lot of attention from strangers. She’s always been a little ray of sunshine, and people react to that- latest example was when boarding a plane, the flight attendant got everyone to cheer and clap for her as she walked to her seat, and let her use the microphone to say goodbye to everyone while deplaning. I will note that my oldest, age 6, was walking right in front of her, and right behind her, but did not get the same attention. This is not the first time stuff like this has happened- on the one hand it’s sweet for my youngest but I HATE that it pushes my oldest to the side. We try to downplay it when it happens (move the conversation to both girls when someone is gushing over the youngest, try to involve the oldest as quickly as we can). I’m not sure how else to handle it or if we should be doing something else- I don’t want either of them to feel slighted but I obviously can’t control strangers, particularly when they’re just trying to be nice.
Anonymous says
“Oh that’s not necessary” and keep her walking. “Oh both my kids would love that”.
anon says
Oh, I feel bad for your older kid. I had a little ray of sunshine sister, and I was not, and it sometimes hurt to see how people reacted to her! I think when strangers are wanting to give your younger kid extra favors (like the microphone thing), you need to shut down that special treatment.
anon says
You may also have to be extra firm with boundaries with others because of this. Like, no hugging her without her permission, be extra careful about grooming signs, etc. This isn’t because of anything you said or did, but my little sister had some of these traits and got a lot of attention, some of it very much unwanted. It’s uncomfortable as a parent sometimes, but you can help her learn to stick up for herself and ward off some of the people-pleasing that could result from lots of this kind of attention. I know this sounds jaded and dark, but you’re better off being a little extra cautious and aware.
OP says
Thank you, I appreciate this perspective. We’ve already had one weird kind of interaction where one of her aftercare teachers (a younger female) bought her a christmas present- she definitely didn’t buy a present for all the kids, so it felt a little weird.
Mm says
Y’all were not lying about age three. So hard. any quick tips on getting through long tantrums?
So Anon says
Piggy-backing off of the conversation yesterday about a household manager/organizer for 5-10 hrs per week: This sounds like exactly what I need!! Can anyone who has hired someone like this let us know what your job description said? What did you ask for?
NYCer says
There is a blogger named Jess Keys who has written about how she has someone like this. If you google her name and house manager, you may be able to find more info.
CCLA says
Not quite the same, but I asked a while back (6/21/22) about a combo nanny/family assistant (got that term from the replies!), regarding what things to consider having them do when not doing childcare, and you may find some of the suggestions there helpful.
We started then paused the search, and restarted a few weeks ago and are hopefully about to hire someone next week, so fingers crossed. Discussions with candidates so far have been that non-childcare hours would be for: laundry (running/folding/putting away/bed sheet changes), light general tidying (eg the post-breakfast wipe down), taking stock of kitchen and other misc items needed, meal prep, kid lunch prep, grocery shopping or instacart ordering, overseeing vendors like HVAC quarterly maintenance appts, and general errands (UPS, etc). Clearly more than 5-10 hours for all of the above, but ours will end up being about 15-20 hours of non-kid time.
StrollerStrike says
As anyone here used a doula? What was your experience?
18 weeks with no 2 and would like to have a more positive birth experience this time around. Wondering if getting outside support is the way…
Anon says
My daughters both used doulas for a total of 3 births. There’s no way they would give birth again without a doula.
Anonymous says
I used a doula but she was still in training, so we didn’t have to pay for it. (I think by the time I delivered she was charging other clients, but I was one of the ones she was using for her certification or something). Honestly, I didn’t get much out of her but I know someone else who used her and loved her. I was induced and when I really needed support–very early in the induction when I started having painful contractions but knew I was no where near delivering and was tied to a monitor and couldn’t get out of bed–I wasn’t in the right kind of hospital room to have overnight guests, and I felt silly demanding my husband or doula come there in the middle of the night. When she and my husband arrived, my husband was a really good support and I didn’t feel like she actually did anything. I just remember her trying to get some kind of white noise app to work and they kept muttering about it and I just wanted to scream, “shut up, there is no way white noise is going to make this better!” When our son was born, he went to the NICU, and my husband went with him. The doula must have stayed with me but I don’t even remember her being there; I think the nurses were just as helpful at that point. Also, I had a midwife who stayed with me the whole time once I was in active labor; if you are using an OB who just comes in when you are ready to deliver, you might find a doula more helpful. Or if you are able to labor at home for a while (e.g. aren’t induced).
TL;DR, I think it is probably hard to predict how useful you will find one, but it might be especially helpful if your partner isn’t good in a crisis or would like the support.
Anonymous says
Wait what? You didn’t have your husband there? Why?
Anon says
My husband was present at my induction, but I kind of wish he hadn’t been. He was useless and his presence annoyed me. He’s not a useless person or father and he was very helpful with newborn care when I was exhausted and borderline psychotic from sleep deprivation. But he wasn’t helpful when I was actually in labor. I don’t plan to have a second, but if I did I would 100% hire a doula and tell my husband to stay home until the baby’s born.
Anonymous says
And you think he’d be cool with not being present at the birth of his child?
Anon says
If I told him that’s what I wanted, yeah. He knows it’s my body doing the work.
Anonymous says
Sorry that was unclear. My induction involved 2 doses of cervadil, placed 12 hours apart. The first was placed at noon. My husband was with me. I was in some kind of regular hospital room. The doula knew what was happening but we didn’t need her at that point. In the evening, they told us he couldn’t spend the night as we weren’t in the labor and delivery floor. I felt totally fine so we didn’t put up a fuss, and he went home to go to bed. At midnight, they placed the 2nd dose. I started having painful contractions that were 30 seconds long and 2 minutes apart, so I wasn’t getting any break, and I couldn’t move around because I was strapped to a fetal monitor and I couldn’t dislodge the cervadil. In hindsight, I should have just told the nurse I needed my husband or doula or both there, but I’m a rule follower and everyone was acting like I shouldn’t be making a fuss at such an early stage. (I was like less than 1cm dilated). I think I finally told him to come around 6 am, and then he was there for the duration. Our son wasn’t born until 4pm.
Anonymous says
PS – I am the poster at 10:35am. I very much wanted my husband there, and he was when our son was actually born. Writing this out makes me realize I basically have no memory of the doula while I was in labor other than the sound machine moment, but some of my sweetest memories are of my husband hugging me and holding me up as I was pushing. He has many flaws but was a champ when I was in labor.
Anon says
I had a midwife team help deliver instead of an obgyn, which felt a lot like a built in doula experience. I also took prenatal yoga classes. Although I feel like some doulas also focus on after birth care which sounds useful.
Pogo says
I am very pro-doula. I think my first helped me avoid a c-section and my second helped me avoid an accidental unplanned home birth.
NYC says
I had a doula for my first delivery and had a wonderful experience. I felt so comfortable having her on my team and advocating for me and helping explain options when they came up. I definitely felt it was worth it even with an induction and epidural (you also don’t know when hiring a doula whether you’ll need to be induced or have a c section). I decided not to get a doula for my upcoming second delivery because my husband feels more prepared to fill in for that role. I was tempted though!
In my friend group, 4 people have had doulas and they also appreciated the support.
Anon says
I wish I had used a doula. With my first there would have been no point, but with my second the nursing staff was terrible (I think this was due to lingering staff shortages from Covid) and my normally capable husband was useless. It still annoys me to this day.
Anonymous says
Yep, I wish I’d had a doula for the same reasons. The nursing staff were MIA during labor and flat out said a lot of people had called out, and then the nurses were downright cruel postpartum, like it was my fault that I was having a baby and they were short-staffed.
OOO says
I used a doula for pregnancy/birth/postpartum but wish I had paid for more hours during the postpartum period because that’s when I needed the most help. Someone in the recovery room to help me wash my pump parts, take me to NICU to see DS, help me breastfeed, etc. Yes DH and nurses helped but would have been great to have additional help since that was such an overwhelming time. Doula couldn’t come to recovery room due to COVID restrictions at the time, but she did visit me at home a couple times.
Anon says
Doulas are evidence-based and can be a particular source of support for women of color, but should be considered by all pregnant women. I’m not sure whether I would choose to use one in the end, but I would definitely think about it carefully.
Anonymous says
No doula first time and had an awful overwhelming experience. Had a great doula the second time and a lovely birth experience. Also hired her for postpartum work which was a huge help. Pick someone who offers services to all types of birth as they are the most likely to be supportive of a spectrum of birth choices.
AwayEmily says
+1 on the second point — a good friend of mine had a doula who outright shamed her for wanting an epidural. Not cool.
Anon says
I used one, and wish I hadn’t, but I think it’s more that I should have listened to myself and backed out on the contract when I was having second thoughts.
I was swayed by the evidence and really nervous in my first trimester so I hired one. But, I’m a very introverted person who’s pretty comfortable in hospital settings and wasn’t ever sure it was the best idea.
I elected for an induction, epidural, the whole thing because it was the right decision for me. She just kind of felt intrusive and in the way. She questioned my medical team when I didn’t have any questions.
I had a great birth, but feel like it’s just not for me personally and I don’t plan to repeat with my current pregnancy.
Anon says
Another thing to check out is HypnoBabies. It really works. I’ve had three unmedicated births, but only did HB for the last one because I, too, was looking for a better experience. I felt so much more in control, at ease, and positive about the birth in general (my first two are still slightly traumatizing to think about). My husband even commented on how calm I seemed, and the hospital didn’t believe me I was in labor because I wasn’t acting like I was in pain.
Anonymous says
Yes, I used one and saw a nurse midwife group that was part of an OB’s office. I loved my doula experience. I didn’t have any off the wall or crazy specific things as part of my birth presences, it was more about having someone who had been to hundreds of births in my particular hospital and knew more than I did about steps and process.
Isabella says
I think it’s also important to know yourself, your partner, and your medical team. I am pretty fierce about advocating for myself and my doctor is cool with that–like seriously, I overheard an experienced L&D nurse questioning my doctor about how rude and stubborn I was, and my doctor defended me. My husband is very easy-going and defers to doctors, so we went through a class about how he could advocate, but honestly, I was mostly counting on my own ability to be b!tch on wheels when necessary.
Anonymous says
This is why I needed a doula. My husband is overly deferential to doctors and would not have asked the right questions in an emergency or advocated for my wishes in a non-emergency.
Anonymous says
What kind of birth do you want to have? I would think that through before you hire anyone. With my first, I was hoping to have an unmedicated birth, and I wanted a doula who would help me advocate for myself and avoid an epidural. But as it turns out, I’m really glad that I happened to find someone who just wanted to support me, and not any particular birth plan. After a somewhat traumatic induction involving two heartbeat scares and many hours of incredibly intense labor, during which I made virtually no progress, she helped me come to terms with changing my plan and coached me to hold still through contractions in order to finally get the meds (DH was required to leave the room). Because the epidural allowed me to rest, I was ultimately able to avoid a C-section. Otherwise, I think I would have been too exhausted and distraught to push. It was a lot to navigate and I’m really glad she was there. She also came over after we got home to help set up our pump for the first time and hold my hand while I cried about it all. She was just the loveliest person.
But I skipped a doula for my second birth. I had a feeling I would be induced again, and indeed I was. The second time around I got the epidural earlier on and the entire labor went a lot faster. I was like, this is easy! I also had a MUCH nicer doctor and higher-quality nurses.
NLD in NYC says
After hemming and hawing, I finally got a doula late in my 3rd trimester. Overall it was a good experience and would hire her again. I ended up needing a C and she was so supportive and reassuring that I made the best decision for DS and me. She also did a couple of after care visits. Interview a bunch, get references, etc, etc, but go with your gut.
Anonamoma says
I was in the same position as you. I had a very negative experience with my first birth and was looking to do all I could to have a better experience the second time around. I worked with a doula and it was the best decision ever. I found someone who aligned with my style/goals, and she made the experience so, so much better. My second birth ended up being a truly redemptive experience. I can’t even put into words how emotionally healing it was to have a positive and validating experience the second time around. The money I spent on the doula’s services was worth every penny and more.
Here’s what the doula helped with: working with me leading up to birth, clarifying my goals, helping me write a clear and concise birth plan in a way that would be well-received by medical staff, preparing for the physical aspect of labor with comfort measures, etc., being very hands-on in supporting me during labor while I was still entertaining the idea of electing no meds, and then being very emotionally supportive once I got an epidural. She also explained things to me as they were happening when my baby had a heart deceleration and things got scary very quickly (everything was ok), and she helped me communicate effectively with the medical team.
Good luck and congrats on baby #2!
Yes to doula says
I had the same doula for both births – for the second, she knew the date of our IVF transfer and I “booked” her as soon as we got a positive beta – that is how much I wanted to make sure she was there!
She was amazing and I would absolutely want her there for future births. First birth was induced at 40+1, pitocin only, no pain meds. Her counterpressure on my back was clutch, as was reassurance and suggested positioning when it took the whole damned day for my body to start responding to the pitocin. Second birth was spontaneous at 39+6, it went fast (she got to our house when i was either in transition or already through it, drove me to hospital and I was at 10cm and +1 when we arrived, baby born very shortly after arrival).
I would not hesitate to recommend her to anyone interested in any kind of birth. She advocates for you and supports your choices, regardless of whether that is elective C or med-free.
Yes to doula says
I had the same doula for both births – for the second, she knew the date of our IVF transfer and I “booked” her as soon as we got a positive beta – that is how much I wanted to make sure she was there!
She was amazing and I would absolutely want her there for future births. First birth was induced at 40+1, pitocin only, no pain meds. Her counterpressure on my back was clutch, as was reassurance and suggested positioning when it took the whole damned day for my body to start responding to the pitocin. Second birth was spontaneous at 39+6, it went fast (she got to our house when i was either in transition or already through it, drove me to hospital and I was at 10cm and +1 when we arrived, baby born very shortly after arrival).
I would not hesitate to recommend her to anyone interested in any kind of birth. She advocates for you and supports your choices, regardless of whether that is elective C or med-free.
Anon says
Another good doula story –
My doula is a very experienced home birth certified nurse midwife, who also provides doula services. I wanted an intervention free birth in a hospital (planned to head to the hospital at like 7 cm!). Ultimately baby did not want to come and I was induced at 42w. After a 3 day induction, baby was still happily staying put and I had a c-section.
Three things she provided: 1. physical pain relief – my husband took the classes and practiced but she was sooo much better at the hip squeeze moves; 2. she gave me permission to deviate from my plan and have c-section (I really felt like I failed birth, not something a type-a overachiever does! but she said, it’s time, this is the option now); 3. best BF advice – all the lactation consultants in the hospital gave me different and conflicting advice. She came to my house for 8 weeks post birth to check in.
A says
Used a doula for my second. It was night and day better than no-doula with my first. I was highly skeptical that I’d like having a stranger there but OMG did I have a better birth experience.
doulas are amazing says
love all these comments. We used one for both kids and feel it was the best money ever spent. I firmly believe she saved me from a c-section with my first and also kept the 2nd day resident from stitching me up, we interviewed 2 which I think was critical, the first one was not a good fit for us. I wish everyone could have a doula.
Anon says
i know earlier this week we discussed evenings, but talk to me about your mornings. while i still have time to worry about this, next year kids have to be in their seats at 7:20am for K, whereas this morning, we woke up at 7 and struggled to make it out of the house by 8:40 for pre-k. i have twin girls and one can get herself dressed (and put on her own shoes), but the other one can’t (she is in OT) and neither can do their own hair.
Anonymous says
Everything possible to do the night before gets done the night before, including making lunches, packing bags, and laying out clothes. You get up at 6, shower, and get dressed. They get woken at 6:30 and poured into clothes or they sleep in their clothes, hair gets done quickly, breakfast is simple- a bar, cereal, etc, and out the door. No screen time no play time it’s just go time.
Pogo says
yep, this. Mine is motivated by screen time, so he is allowed to watch video only after he eats, gets dressed, and brushes teeth. That can be done in 10 minutes if he is very motivated. When he sleeps in, sometimes that means he only watches TV for 5min as we load up the cars, but we just say ‘pause it and you can finish it later’.
Anon says
Kindergarten is going to be a big adjustment for us too. We have really lazy mornings currently. My 5 yo sleeps until 7:30-8, sometimes as late as 8:30. My husband does drop-offs normally and he has a really flexible schedule, so it’s not unusual for our kid to get to daycare between 9:30-10. K isn’t as early as your school but we have to be there by 8:30, and we basically never leave the house by then currently.
Boston Legal Eagle says
So my kids get up early (usually by 6am), so can’t help with the getting your kids up earlier struggle, but here’s our routine:
(Mon-Thurs., where they’re generally not allowed TV)
6:00am – Kids up, get their milk and breakfast (usually just cereal and granola bars). Husband is out with them while I shower. Older kiddo will do legos, magnatiles, trains, whatever. Younger kiddo likes to be read a book.
6:30am – Kids still leisurely eating, playing whatever, eventually we start the clothes on routine. Older kiddo (6.5) can dress himself just fine, it’s more of a motivation issue. Lots of nagging. Younger (4) can mostly dress himself, but we help.
Around 7:00/7:15am – Teeth brushed, hair combed.
After – more play time, outside if we can, otherwise inside. It’s a lot of time in the morning!
By 7:50am – Older kiddo has to leave for bus stop – one of us walks him over. Younger kiddo gets driven to daycare (sometimes earlier if I have to take the train).
8:00ish – We’re either starting work if at home, or I’m on the train to work.
Friday involves all of the above, but with TV and less attention from us.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
My 5 year old cannot dress himself. Or rather, maybe he could but it would take too long? I deeply wish I could wake up early and exercise but I like to be caffeinated before exercising.
Our mornings:
6:15-6:30 AM – Get up, brush, change clothes, etc. (I mostly WFH so this is simple; days from the office I get up earlier)
6:45 AM – Get DS #1 (5 years) up, brushed, changed, etc. He is always cranky AF before eating (wonder where he gets it from) and there is some type of existential discussion like, “What’s for dinner next week?”. Get DS #2 (2 years) up, brushed, changed, etc. DH is helping and in/out while getting showered and dressed for office
7:10 AM – Downstairs, breakfast. I have a daily template I use for kids, so it’s pretty simple – frozen waffle (2x/week), toast, oatmeal, or cold cereal + fruit + milk. DH comes down to walk dog, we both unload dishwasher and make coffee. I usually set a timer for 10-15 minutes for food to be eaten.
7:25 AM – Breakfast done, hands washed, shoes on (DS #1 does it himself, sometimes needs help with socks, DS #2 either DH or I handle).
DH loads them up and is usually out the door by 7:30-7:40 AM. I handle clean up and then get to work – trying to work very defined 8 AM-4 PM hours, so I can exercise and walk the dog before picking kids up at 5 PM.
Cb says
Wow, 7:20 is brutal. We leave for breakfast club at 7:40.
6:30 – alarm goes off, husband goes down to get caffeine and bring it up.
6:45 – we try and rustle kiddo out of bed, he has a cuddle, we dress him (which, I know, I know… but it’s quicker). He’s in a school uniform so no clothing choices to be made.
7:05 – he and husband go downstairs, eat breakfast. He brushes teeth sitting at the breakfast bar. I get dressed, and meet them downstairs at 7:30 or so, for shoes. Husband opens garage door (’70s style…) and gets our bikes out
7:40 – on our bikes, for 8am dropoff.
Then I WFH. On days my husband is solo, he gets dressed before waking up T. And eats breakfast when he gets back.
Anonymous says
Wow, that’s early. Our district switched high school and elem but elem starts at 7:55 (used to be 8:55). Our bus comes at 7:15; I can’t imagine the bus coming any earlier!!
If you drive, you can probably do car breakfast.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I know car breakfast is a popular option here – and nothing wrong with it.
For me, food in the car (minus a drink or a snack, but even the latter was very rare) was a big nope growing up, and meals were rarely ever on the go – like 5-10 minutes, sit down, eat your food is a must. This is likely a cultural thing but I’m also hardwired this way and hope to instill the same with kids. I may even eat my words in a few years, who knows.
My exception is I do love drinking my coffee and listening to a podcast the days I go into the office. :)
Anon says
I thought that way too for years, but it went out the window when we started elementary school.
Anon says
We do a “whole family sit down at the table no screens or anything”dinner every night, so I don’t worry about car breakfast. Also, with a car breakfast we all get to chat while we eat. whereas if we did at-home breakfast it’d be a kid alone at the table while parents are running around trying to get the other kid ready.
But, in the late 90s/early 00s I was a slow eater who hated breakfast foods so I grew up being a car breakfast eater while my siblings ate at home
Anonymous says
6:05: my alarm goes off
6:15: my second alarm goes off. I go get coffee.
6:20: DH’s alarm goes off; if he is not already up he gets up, puts in contacts, gets dressed in bus stop appropriate clothes
6:30: I wake up 6 y/o for the first time
6:30: 9 y/o’s first alarm goes off
6:35: I make 9 y/o get out of bed if she hasn’t. She gets herself dressed/hair burnished/bathroom.
6:36: I circle back to 6 y/o. I time her to get dressed in the clothes she/we picked out the night before. On a fast day this is 38 seconds. Slow days are more like a minute. She uses the bathroom and goes downstairs.
6:50-7: girls eat breakfast while I put their lunches in their backpacks. 9 y/o complains about what I’ve packed so she re packs. Sometimes she will pack it herself the night before. I brush 6 y/o’s hair while she eats as slowly as possible.
7-7:10: teeth are brushed, shoes and coats on. Often a lot of complaining/foot dragging.
7:12: DH takes the girls down the driveway to catch the bus which comes ~7:15.
If the kids need extra sleep I let them sleep til 7:10. They get dressed and eat breakfast in the car. We leave for school at 7:35.
Anonymous says
Should add that DH is usually tidying, feeding the dog, assembling misc backpack contents, or making breakfast while I wrestle the kids into their clothes :).
HSAL says
Same boat, twins going to K next year. Bus comes at 7:10. Our oldest is incredibly easy – one of us wakes her up at 6:40, she gets dressed, has breakfast, and is usually ready by 7. One twin is usually up by 7 or shortly after and dresses quickly, the other twin sleeps much later and can dress himself but is a slowpoke. I was always baffled by the advice to sleep in clothes, but that may be the route with him next year. And an earlier bedtime.
OP says
thanks all! do your kids not get dirty when they eat? seems like the key is dressing before breakfast….but my kids still get filthy!
Anonymous says
You can’t get all that filthy eating toast or a pop tart or a bar.
Anonymous says
Wrong! my children have figured out how to do this
GCA says
Same. It is impressive. 7.5yo still (STILL!) wipes his hands on the front of whatever he is wearing despite my best efforts.
Anonymous says
At 4.5 and 8, no, they don’t get dirty at breakfast. Cereal and milk, toast, or frozen protein waffle.
anon says
Oh, dressing before breakfast is 100% key for my twins in K. If we had to do the transition downstairs and then back upstairs we’d never get out of the house in the morning.
They usually eat breakfast fairly neatly, but yeah, sometimes they drip cereal milk on their shirt before school and so be it. Lunchtime is 1.5 hours into the school day, so it’s not like their clothes would stay prestine for long anyway. :)
Anon says
I wouldn’t say my 5 year old gets “filthy” but also if she goes to school with a stain on her shirt I don’t think it’s the end of the world.
Anon says
+1. If there’s a stain, there’s a stain. So be it. But, we’re also eat in the car people so we choose non-messy breakfasts
NYCer says
My almost 4 year old is able to eat breakfast without getting dirty (cereal, waffles, pancakes, fruit, yogurt, etc). We just wipe her face and hands after.
Anonymous says
Our timing is different because school starts at 8, but the kids wake up and are out the door in 30-45 min. One is currently your twins’ age and one is older. I trade extra sleep for independence- I wake them up and literally help them get dressed in their beds while they are less than fully awake around 7:15. Breakfast 7:25-7:35, brush teeth, shoes on and out the door 7:45. I help as needed with all steps because I don’t want to wake the kids up any earlier (they already go to bed about as early as we can make work and both need a lot of sleep). I get up at 7 and get dressed/do my hair in 5 min (I shower at night and do a quick curly refresh). We make lunches the night before so it’s just pour milk in a thermos and stick the lunch in the backpack.
Anonymous says
I would describe our mornings as frenetic but collaborative. I pack lunches the night before and check kindergartner’s backpack for supplies and stray paperwork.
6:30 – my alarm goes off. DH is almost always up already with coffee. IF I get up, I can have a hot cup of coffee with him.
7 – tbh I normally snooze til now then get the twins up (they’re 2). I make pb&j sandwiches for everyone’s lunch. Premaking sandwiches the night before hasn’t worked for us in the past, but this also takes 5 minutes, unlike cutting fruit/veg and choosing snacks/treats, which I do the night before.
7-7:20 – I give the twins fresh diapers, DH makes breakfast (always eggs) and the twins feed themselves. I get 6 year old up and he dresses, usually on his own. He’s in kindergarten: they’re late at 7:55.
7:30-7:40 – kindergartener picks at eggs, I get dressed (I shower at night), remind kindergartner 14 times to put on his shoes and jacket and get his backpack, I give him allergy meds and vitamins and we’re out to door to walk to school.
7:55 – I’m back home. Sometimes DH has the twins dressed, usually not because they’ve both pooped in their clean diapers.
8-8:15 – I dress the twins, administer allergy and asthma meds, gather shoes, jackets and lunch boxes, load them in the car and head to day care for 8:30 arrival.
Anon says
We have to keep it as simple as possible!
– Kids have alarm clocks in their rooms, so while we still go in to wake them up the waking up process has already started (so, we’re not trying to rouse a groggy kid out of a deep sleep).
– We do as much as possible the night before: pack lunches, pack backpacks, layout clothes (to include underwear,, socks, shoes and coat). I also lay out my clothes, pack my lunch and work bag.
– My kids luckily have a uniform, so that makes laying out clothes the night before a little easier. Their uniform has wiggle room (long sleeve vs short sleeve polo, sweater or sweater vest, girls can choose jumper or pants). We have a rule that once the outfit is laid out, it does not change. We all check the weather for the next day as a family before laying out clothes.
– We eat breakfast in the car, so it’s toast or waffle, dry cereal, granola bar, fruit. Once the kids get older I think we’ll introduce oatmeal, yogurt, or chia pudding but we’re not there yet.
– Morning routine is simple: wake up (we build in time for this to take 10 mins), brush teeth (while still in PJs to avoid a toothpaste on uniform disaster), get dressed, brush hair (I only do easy hair for my daughter: she can leave it down or choose a ponytail/pigtails, bun, or simple braid), get backpacks and leave.
We have a 20 minute drive to school, so that’s enough time to eat and get mentally ready for the day. We have fun car conversations or listen to a book on tape so while there’s no play time or screen time in the AM, it’s still a little fun?
My morning routine is also pretty streamlined. I can be totally ready from getting in the shower to what was formerly ready to walk out the door (and is now wake the kids up and start with that routine) in 20-30 minutes.
Anon says
Low stakes question. So this pick made reminded me. Does anyone else worry about personalized backpacks and suitcases for their kids in airports? Every time I travel and see a small kids with their name stamped large on their back, I always get concerned someone might try to lure them away from their parents. Or maybe I’m just worry too much?
I was definitely in the “stranger danger” era growing up. I know airports are pretty secure as it is. My kid is still pretty small, but personally I feel like I’d avoid making their name super noticeable in public places. Maybe I’m just missing the pro, where hypothetically it could make them easier to locate if they wander off?
Anon says
I think this risk probably isn’t that great, but I also don’t really see a big upside to having their name printed on stuff. A brightly colored backpack or something like that seems more useful for spotting them if they start to wander away. We’ve never had any personalized stuff, mainly because my kid doesn’t care and I don’t want to pay the $10 or whatever for it.
Anonymous says
Agree- I also try really hard to donate or sell stuff we’re done with, not just throw it away, and having a name on it makes that more difficult.
Pogo says
I feel like this is an urban legend from our childhood – if you have your name on your backpack, a stranger will yell your name, you’ll assume they know you, and you’ll get in their creepy van?
I got their names on their LL Bean Bote n Totes because I think it looks cute/helps me know whose bag is whose, but otherwise, I don’t love it just for aesthetic reasons.
Cb says
Yeah, I think this is a normal 1980s kid anxiety that is no longer applicable? We were all traumatised by 80s stranger danger.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I like doing my kids’ initials as the backpacks we get are the standard LLBean ones that lots of other kids may have. We haven’t personalized suitcases yet, but initials would work there too.
FVNC says
Agree with the comments above; probably not a huge safety concern. I don’t like names on “big-ticket” items like this because may be harder to give them away or use as hand-me-downs when kiddo outgrows it.
Anonymous says
I have a similar fear for my kid which is not based in anything logical. I did see this week on a local Facebook mom’s pages someone trying to sell a bunch of fancy embroidered little boys clothes with the name Xavier on them and thought to myself “I wonder how big the market is for these very specific clothes?”
anon says
My social worker friends warned me against any personalization on the outside of backpacks. They’ve seen some sh*t so I trust them on that and don’t get names visibly on the outside at all.
Anon says
What is the actual risk? Is it just that kids trust anyone who knows their name? Or do people look stuff up online or something?
HSAL says
Not the anon above, but I once read something from a social worker that basically said one individual thing like personalized suitcases might not be an issue, but a lot of small things add up to giving a ton of information about your family.
Car inspiration help says
Okay, I hit a fence yesterday in my nine year old car and broke a headlight. This seems like a sign that it’s time for a new car (my car’s been driving me nuts and needing work more recently). BUT there’s an electric car I’d like to get down the road… in like two years. So I need something to last for about two years. I could lease or buy – I’m leaning towards buying used and my budget is around $35,000. We have a suburban and an Atlas that our nanny drives and that we take on weekends when we have all our kids. Can be a sedan, can be an SUV… what would you get? I realize this is VERY open ended, but I’m not a car person! Give me some inspiration!
Anon says
Real talk, if you already have two enormous SUVs, that’s already a huge double finger to the environment and to pedestrians who are more likely to get killed by your massive car than they are by a sedan. I think it’s time to sell one of those and replace it with an electric hatchback, which is a more practical design for hauling kids than a sedan.
Anon says
Or if this car is in addition the the SUVs, don’t get a third SUV! You can buy a new hybrid sedan for way under $35K, and even if it won’t be electric, it will still get 50+ mpg, not 20.
OP says
We have four kids… so that ship kind of sailed.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
This made me chuckle, thank you OP!
Anon says
Huh? That doesn’t mean you should compound the damage. I don’t criticize women who want to have more kids, more power to you, but you can drive four kids around in a reasonable car and help them learn about reducing their carbon footprint. In fact, I think changing vehicles (especially when you’re shopping anyway) is one of the easiest ways to reduce your footprint dramatically. Some fun facts from an article in the Guardian this week:
“According to the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, drivers behind the wheel of an SUV are two to three times more likely to kill a pedestrian in a collision than when driving a regular car. A study in Michigan found that, at 20-39 mph, 30% of SUV crashes resulted in a pedestrian fatality, compared with 23% of car crashes. While, at 40mph or above, 100% of SUV crashes resulted in a pedestrian death, compared with 54% of car crashes…
SUVs are killing us in another way too, as some of the world’s worst polluters. It was recently found that they are the second biggest cause of the global rise in carbon dioxide emissions over the past decade, eclipsing all shipping, aviation, heavy industry and even trucks. If all SUV drivers banded together to form their own country – the Republic of Vengeance? – it would rank as the seventh largest emitter in the world.”
TheElms says
If you have 4 kids and you want them all to fit in the car (admittedly not one of OP’s requirements) one needs to be older than 12 to sit in the front seat safely. And it can be somewhat hard to get 3 car seats safely across the backseat of a midsize car.
Anonymous says
Please tell me more about this reasonable-sized car with room for 4 children without one sitting in the front passenger seat. I’m not aware of a sedan that offers this. Maybe a station wagon does?
Anon says
I was curious if there were cars that still fit 6+ people and it looks like there is only one left on the market, the Chevy Impala. It doesn’t seem like it would work unless there was a teen that could sit in the front middle seat. There are mini vans, but they are no better for the environment than an SUV. I know SUVs aren’t cool but sometimes they are necessary.
Anon says
We have a hybrid Pacifica and only get gas about 2x a year. For local trips it’s all electric and easily fits four kids.
Anon says
I keep cars longer than most people, but 9 years old isn’t that old to me and a broken headlight should be a pretty cheap repair. It’s not like you totaled the car. I wouldn’t see this as a sign that the car needs to be replaced.
Anonymous says
+1. Keep the car running for 2 years.
Anon says
Well, its squeeking so the suspension needs to be replaced. The windshield wipers recently broke. The check engine light turned on last week. And the bluetooth on my phone stopped working. It just feels like the headlight was the last straw that made repairs maybe not worth it.
Anon says
You can get new windshield wipers for 16.99 on Amazon and update your phone for free. The other stuff is routine car maintenance. This is starting to not feel real.
Anonymous says
Are you replacing the suburban? Or another car? How many people need to fit into it?
I’d just spend $300 on the headlight and wait two years. Car buying stresses me out. See: 11 year old car in the garage that I don’t know what to replace its other so continue to drive it.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1 – My car is 10 years old with 60K miles and I plan on driving it until I can’t.
Anon says
One of our cars is 24 years old! But it runs great and we’ve put shockingly little money into it (#Toyota4Life)
FVNC says
Agree; I’m super confused about why you need a new car now. Fix whatever damage was caused and drive it another two years. (Says the driver of a 2010 Prius, so I’m clearly firmly on team “drive the car for as long as possible”).
OP says
It’s just the economics due to other repairs that are due. There’s not that much value in it and honestly I’d love to have a car that shows the map on the screen and where my phone connects to bluetooth and a couple other things like that. I’m not a car person, but even the BMW logo fell off the back a couple months ago. All things I could fix, but combined it’s just kind of getting frustrating. It just feels like the car’s telling me it’s time and she’s had a good run! But I thought 9 years wasn’t terrible! We have a high HHI so it’s not a money thing.
Anon says
I mean if you want a new car for shiny new features, get a new car. But I think a broken headlight, which is probably a $250-500 repair, is a really silly reason to do it.
Anon at 12:04 says
Sorry OP, I didn’t see your comment below when I posted this and wasn’t trying to pile on. The comments still seem to be lagging a little bit for me.
TheElms says
I’d get a 3 year old something that holds value well since it seems like you will be selling in 2 years — so a Honda Civic or something like that. But honestly, a 9 year old car isn’t that old and unless it has really high miles I would just repair it and keep it for 2 more years.
OP says
Okay, let’s change this to I WANT a new car. We have four kids. They don’t have to all fit – I’m okay with this being a sedan since they can fit in the car our nanny drives and I can drive on the weekend and my husbands. Price is not a factor except I really am not a huge car person so seems silly to spend too much.
FVNC says
What about buying an electric vehicle that’s currently available now, and then replacing one of the other cars in two years with the then-avail electric vehicle? If money were not an issue, I’d look at the new volvo electric suv (I know nothing about it, other than that it looks really nice and is far outside my car budget).
I think $35k probably won’t go terribly far, especially if you’re looking for luxury vehicles or something similar to the bmw. My husband just got an electric Rav4 (the “prime”, I think?) and it was close to $50k. So, I guess I’d maybe just browse online at car max or something, with $35k as your upper limit and see if anything looks good?
TheElms says
I’d still consider a Honda Civic (if you get a high end trim they are pretty nice inside), or if you want something more fun to drive a Mazda3 or the little Audi A3. But you’re basically lighting money on fire I think going this route.
Spirograph says
+1 to this. If it doesn’t need to fit all the kids and is basically a commuter car, just got something small and practical.
Anonymous says
I’d also go Honda civic or one of the many electric cars you can buy now.
Mary Moo Cow says
I love my Hyundai Santa Fe. I was a Ford person for years, didn’t like my Subaru, went back to Ford, and then was in a position to either shell out more than the car was worth to replace the engine or buy a new car 2 years ahead of the plan, and bought a used Santa Fe Limited Ultimate (heated steering wheel!!! Panoramic sunroof! Air conditioned seats!!!) It was cheaper than a comparable American made vehicle, estimated maintenance and costs seemed reasonable (I abhor car maintenance), and it is a comfortable ride. I think Hyundai has swapped the Santa Fe Limited (with third row) for the Sedona, and it might be a tight inventory, but worth looking for a Santa Fe. My MIL loves her Hyundai Sonata for the cost and comfort. I personally can’t imagine going to a sedan after years of driving small and medium size SUVs, but YMMV.
A question to start with, I think, is whether you want the date night car or the family car. If you want a car that is just for you and your husband, why not go with something fun, luxe, or zippy like a Mercedes, Acura, or BMW sedan or a Ford Bronco? If you want something that everyone can ride in if need be, or for hauling, look at SUVs. The go-to for moms around here seems to be luxe Kia SUVs or white Atlases.
OP says
Oh man, DH’s face if I brought home a bronco.
Anonamoma says
If I were you, I would probably get a Hybrid Toyota Camry (large sedan) or Hybrid RAV4 (small SUV). Toyota’s hybrids are the best, most reliable hybrids on the market. These are practical cars that hold their value, but the higher trims are very comfortable and have all of the safety and convenience features you could want. The simple convenience of not having to go to the gas station to fill up as often is enough to make the hybrid worth it to me.
Alternatively, for a purely fun car to drive, I would get a VW GTI. I had one pre-kids and that thing will always have a soft spot in my heart :)
Anonymous says
My husband had a VW GTI pre-kids and I heartily concur. It was so fun!
Anon says
The biggest issue with Toyota’s hybrids is that they’re not actually that fuel efficient. a Kia Niro (small SUV) gets much better mph on than a RAV4 or Civic.
Anonymous says
Yeah just get a Honda Civic.
Mm says
So you all were not joking about the fury of age 3. It’s so hard. Any quick tips for long tantrums?
Anon says
Leaving my kid alone always helped her calm down faster, and also meant we didn’t have to listen to the tantrum. We didn’t do it a punishment/timeout way (except for very egregious things like hitting), but just like “I’m going to give you some space to calm down, I’ll be here for a hug when you’re ready.”
But my main piece of advice is it gets better. I haaaaated age 3 but 4 was a real delight and so far 5 is even better.
Anonamoma says
Set aside at least 15 minutes daily to engage in child-led play without any grown-up distractions (no peeking at your phone– they notice!). This, by far, made the biggest difference with my kid.
In the moment of a tantrum, I try to guide her through her feelings and offer support without overwhelming her. Some scripts that have worked for me through lots of trial and error: “I know you’re feeling angry and frustrated right now. Those feelings are so hard. I’m here and we can get through anything together.” and “I know you’re angry with me. I love you and care about you. I’m here to help if you need me.” Demonstrating empathy and validating that what she’s going through is hard has been the key for us. I know all kids are different, though. For example, I got absolutely 0 traction from all of the breathing/counting prompts (“take a deep breath and count to 4” just makes her rage harder).
When things get out of hand, there’s the Daniel Tiger standby: “It’s ok to be mad; it’s not ok to hurt someone.” I also tell her “It’s my job to keep you safe and healthy. Throwing toys is not safe. We can’t throw toys when we’re mad.”
anonM says
Try to figure out what helps your specific kiddo, and use those techniques before the tantrum is full blown. Once it is, it is hard to calm them back down/intervene. For my DS, he responds well to big bear hugs, even if he’s mad at me, especially when he was younger. DD does NOT want to be touched, but sometimes I can change the song or distract her with something like “when you’re done, want to pick the song/get a cheese stick/etc.”. She also really responds well when I can ID her feeling/why she’s mad.
Anon says
Solidarity, they are tough. If I can, I typically try to get my kid to drink some water. I heard somewhere it’s almost impossible to drink water and cry at the same time. Especially if we’re running into tantrums right before bed, drinking some water usually helps.
GCA says
Redirect and make it silly? For a while, my now 4.5yo would get stuck in a positive feedback fury-loop of wanting something, refusing all possible alternatives, and getting angrier and angrier when we tried to offer more alternatives. If you could get her to giggle (“Don’t smile! You’re not allowed to smile!” or “Did you say you wanted *elephants* with peanut butter?”) she would eventually calm down.