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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Philanthropy Girl says
Early TJ
Does anyone here use time-blocking for time management? I’m just starting after being encouraged to try by a friend. Yesterday was really successful, but today I’ve about three different phone calls to care for immediate situations and I’m now about an hour behind schedule.
How do you plan for urgent interruptions in the time-blocking method?
On that topic – what tools do you use for time blocking (apps, spreadsheets, pen & paper, etc…)
Anons says
I’m interested in this strategy, but not sure if it would work for the reasons you mention
Philanthropy Girl says
Anons – yesterday was interesting. As you can tell by my post, I was pretty panicked in the morning trying to figure out how I was going to do this. By the time I got to the end of my day, I’d caught up with my schedule. Since I’d over estimated how long some tasks would take me, I’d accidentally built in a cushion for emergencies. This is sort of opposite of the articles I’d read on the topic, which encouraged overbooking time rather than underbooking it (that is – fill your schedule as full as possible). But for me, it turns out that scheduling an extra 15-30 minutes for a task ends up allowing for the urgent phone calls, etc… It also let helped me think through what is truly urgent and what can actually wait an hour or two until I finish the task I’m in the middle of completing.
I’m planning on adding cushion purposefully today, to see if that helps. I may keep a list of extra tasks to fill the time if the phone isn’t ringing off the hook like yesterday.
LSC says
Rant: Nanny needed the day off today. Back up nanny cancelled at midnight. I saw her text this morning at 7am and then did the mad mental scramble to consider other options (none). Then husband and I played the responsibility-game to determine who should stay home (him). Now I feel guilty and frustrated. WHY IS THIS SO HARD?! Backup care sucks.
AEK says
Backup nanny canceled at midnight? That is the worst. I would have had a panic attack. What if neither of you could have stayed?!
Backup care has been the absolute biggest challenges for us. I stress about it constantly. But I cannot even find a reliable date-night babysitter, let alone a full-day caregiver.
As for your other problem, the guilt & frustration (completely justified!), I have to remind myself not to “waste” my workday when my husband takes the hit and stays home with our son. I get distracted by the guilt and stressed out about our lack of a dependable option, and before I know it, I’ve wasted half my work day. What I would like to do on those days instead is make it worthwhile, get something accomplished at the office, and then come home and express my sincere gratitude to my husband for taking care of things at home. Someday I will be that version of myself, I hope.
LSC says
You’re so right. Thanks for the commiseration.
CHJ says
Follow up to my post last week about my toddler saying he was scared to go to school. On Monday, I went in to pick him up and the teacher didn’t hear me come in. He was crying about something, and I saw her yank him by the arm (hard) to get him to cooperate.
We withdrew him from that school immediately (and told the director what happened). The school had to self-report to the state and now the state is conducting an investigation. I took off several days of work, and now he’s with his favorite babysitter for the rest of the week. He’s starting at a new preschool on Monday.
I wish I had a silver lining I could share with you all, but it has just been a terrible week. I’m glad I listened to him when he said he was scared, but I still feel sick thinking of how long we would have left him there if I hadn’t seen that happen with my own eyes.
Anonymous says
Thank you so much for following up. I have a hard time remembering to trust my gut and this is just another example of a time when trusting your gut was ABSOLUTELY the right thing!
anne-on says
Please be gentle with yourself. You took your child’s concerns seriously, were on higher alert, and acted immediately when something happened. Plus, you also helped all the other children who remain who may not have said something to their parents. And hopefully that teacher either finds another line of work, or receives much better training so this doesn’t happen again – and I’m sure the director will be more vigilant going forward.
Your kid knows you have his back. That makes you a fantastic mom.
Anonymous says
+1. You are awesome and did just the right thing.
Anon in NYC says
100% agreed. What a scary and sad situation. You did the right thing.
hoola hoopa says
+1 Well done and good luck. You did a great service to your child and to the other children there.
You were really paying attention. If it hadn’t been this week, I bet it would have been soon. Try not to go down that hypothetical road.
Agree with others that it will stick with you more than him. (My older sibling was in a similar situation at a similar age.)
Spirograph says
+1 Good for you! I’m sorry this happened, but you handled everything so well, and I hope you allow yourself to be proud of that without focusing too much on the what-ifs.
JJ says
Oh my goodness, that must have been terrible to witness, but thank God you saw that with your own eyes. I would withdraw immediately, as well. You did the right thing for your son with the information you had at the time. Your son will be in a much better place on Monday.
MDMom says
Thanks for the update. I’m so sorry this happened though. It is so hard to trust someone else with your kid (especially before they are fully verbal). You did everything you reasonably could.
Famouscait says
An almost identical situation happened to me ~30 years ago (I was the child in the scenario). I don’t really recall the incident that caused my mom to flip out and remove me from pre-school; what I do remember is my mom flipping out. All that to say that your child may remember how you handled this (trusting your child, listening to them, protecting them, validating their worth as a person not to be treated poorly) and not the actual incident. Way to go being a great parent and role model for your child!
SC says
+1. In a totally different scenario, in 4th grade, some snot-nosed kid accused me of drawing a smiley face on the 50-year-old desk. The teacher believed him, called me in from another classroom, humiliated me in front of the whole class, and when I pointed out that there wasn’t even a smiley face on the desk, she didn’t apologize or punish the kid and just sent me back to the classroom. So, I do remember the scenario, but what I REALLY remember is finding out that my mom had called the school and chewed a bunch of people out :-) It was the first time that my mom’s protective instinct really registered with me. (The other time that sticks out is when she flipped off a driver for cutting me off when I was driving with my learner’s permit.)
TBK says
+1 My grandmother at age 98 would still tell the story of how my great-grandmother handled an incident between her and a teacher. The teacher had been unjustly mean to my grandmother and caused her to run home. My great-grandmother wouldn’t bad-mouth the teacher to my grandmother, but left my grandmother at home while she went to the school. My grandmother snuck out and followed her then listened at an open window while her mother gave a full dressing down to the principal about how terrible the teacher had been to her daughter. My grandmother ran home before my great-grandmother got back so she wouldn’t know she’d snuck out. I think my grandmother was only about 6 at the time (back in 1920 you could leave a 6 yo at home alone), but that was the story she told whenever she talked about how much she missed her mother and how wonderful a person my great-grandmother was even though it was more than 90 years later.
Daycare says
I’m so sorry you had to experience this. How awful. Were there any warning signs prior to this? Are you going to say anything to other parents? Childcare is so hard. I’m genuinely curious b/c I’m about to put my kids in a full time school program in the fall, and am nervous about what to be on the lookout for (we’ve had a nanny prior to this point).
CHJ says
There were a few warning signs, mostly that my son had started saying strange things, like “I don’t want to go to school. I’m scared of school.” And being much, much fussier at night than ever before. There had been a lot of teacher turnover so I thought he was reacting to that, but the language about being “scared” of school was gnawing at me. He’s 2.5, so I wasn’t able to get him to tell me why he was scared.
I’m not sure what to do about telling the other parents. Any thoughts on what I should do?
AEK says
How sad and scary. I’m glad that you’ve been able to find a new arrangement already. The bottom line is that you responded quickly to this problem. Please try to be gentle with yourself. You took action, and now things are ok. Plus, you took your son’s words seriously and immediately upped your vigilance. I have no doubt that if things didn’t improve quickly, you would have taken action whether you personally saw something or not. There is no reason to get down on yourself!
And your son got bonus time with you, which he must have loved. He knows you’re looking out for him.
NewMomAnon says
Mom guilt…while I was making dinner last night, kiddo started asking to go to her dad’s house, and said she wanted daddy. This morning, all she could talk about was her dad. I knew she might prefer his house at times, but I didn’t expect it to happen so soon….
And of course, I’m getting down on myself for not being as “fun” or “attentive” as dad because, you know, I have to clean/cook/do laundry/run errands with kiddo in tow, and dad gets to drop everything to spend time with her because she spends less time with him.
*sigh*
pockets says
maybe all kids prefer their dads? I stayed home with my daughter from when she was 18 months until she was 2 years old, and I still stay home with her 2 days a week. My husband stayed home with her ONE DAY when he had off and I didn’t, and she was SO excited and still talks about “daddy day.”
Famouscait says
Here’s another episode of Daddy preference, for laughs:
Last night, I changed my kiddo’s poopy diaper, cleaned him up, and walked over to my hubby so they could say goodnight…. Kiddo reaches his arms towards dad. (Me: Ok, fine. You can put him to bed). Dad takes kiddo, who promptly turns to me, waves and says “bye bye” and then POINTS AT HIS NIGHT LIGHT (as in, “hey lady, don’t forget to turn on my lamp on your way out”).
I got all the poop and none of the snuggles. So unfair.
Maddie Ross says
She’s about 18 months or so, right? I think there is definitely something about a little girl who hits that age and her daddy. It’s not that she doesn’t love you (trust me!) and she doesn’t necessarily prefer him. But there is some kind of bond there. And I know it’s been super hard, but I’m glad that she’s able to see him and get that time. You’re doing great!
NewMomAnon says
Yeah, I realized as I was typing how great it actually is that she has a good relationship with him.
And I also realized that I wouldn’t trade roles for anything – he may “get” to be the fun parent, but it’s at such a huge loss of time with his baby. I think there’s some dust in my office….my eyes seem to be watering.
JTX says
I guarantee she asks about you when she’s with her dad. My toddler does this – asks for the parent that is absent at the time.
Navy Lawyer says
Go easy on yourself; wanting to see him “right now” doesn’t mean she prefers him. She’s incapable of saying the complete thought which is probably more along the lines of “I love you but want to see Daddy for just a little bit!” And kids have zero perspective, and remember what you’ve done for only 2 seconds. After literally 9 hours straight of hanging out with my 3.5 year old, I go off to cook dinner for 30 minutes, and at dinner she says “you never play with me!”
EB0220 says
Not sure if this helps, but…my 20 month old is a total mama’s girl. When daddy is home, she is not really into him at all. But the minute he leaves, it’s “daddy, daddy, daddy, daaaaddy…” nonstop.
POSITA says
My little one always wants whoever isn’t there. There’s a very good chance that she whines for you when she’s at her Dad’s.
SC says
My 11-month-old son definitely has a preference for dad, who lives with us but for a variety of reasons, often gets to be the “fun” parent. It may flip-flip at different stages, or it may never change. The one thing I’m trying to do is carve out time to be really present instead of doing chores or running errands. I’ve been conducting this experiment for about 2 weeks, and my relationship with my son seems to be improving. I’m sure you’re doing your best, but is there any way you can shift more chores to time when your daughter is with her dad? For example, on those nights, could you throw in a load of laundry and cook a big meal that would last a couple of nights?
Also, I wouldn’t read too much into it. Your daughter likely misses her dad without preferring him.
Clementine says
They know, especially as they get older.
Anon in NYC says
I was reading this NYT article about the rise of meal delivery kits like Blue Apron, and some of the comments were talking about how the skill of cooking isn’t being taught these days. So it got me thinking about what I wish my parents had taught me. For me, probably the top life skill I wish I had learned as a kid was how to budget and what budgeting means. It took some hard lessons and failures for me to have a semblance of budget and it’s still really hard for me. I hope that I do a better job with my kids. I also didn’t learn how to cook until I lived on my own, but my mom would have taught me if I had been at all interested. What are some life lessons/skills you wished your parents had taught you?
Philanthropy Girl says
I feel like my parents were pretty thorough in their teaching words, but far less so in their modeling actions – there was a lot of do as I say and not as I do in my house.
I wish my parents (mom especially) had modeled how to enjoy an active life, rather than looking on exercise as a chore or a duty.
Like you, I wish I would have had better money lessons. Although we were comfortably middle class, money was always a stressful, angsty topic growing up – as an adult I feel a lot of anxiety about money and budgeting simply because that was what was modeled for me.
I also wish I’d been taught to be diligent and hardworking for my own satisfaction, rather than for making others happy or staying out of trouble. Everything was about keeping up appearances and pleasing others, rather than focusing on internal rewards.
GreatQuestion says
Man your last paragraph. I wish I knew how to teach that to my kids. Tough one.
Philanthropy Girl says
So hard. Mine is still too little to be talking about it – but I daily feel challenged to model it – and it is so hard.
Anonymous says
To play an instrument, money management/investing/saving for retirement, sports, kindness/unselfishness/empathy, adult behavior in general, making sacrifices for loved ones. I could go on. I grew up in a messed up family, and I had to learn all of these things as a young adult.
Katala says
So much this. I wish they had modeled healthy relationship dynamics with each other and the children. How to keep a decently clean and tidy house – or at the least how not to be a hoarder. The importance of mental health and self care. Cooking, budgeting, scheduling, being on time ever, having long term friendships with non-family, finishing what you start, compromise, teamwork. Ugh.
DH and I talk about this all the time and do our best to actively model what we’ve taught ourselves and continue to learn. It’s so hard to pick everything up as an adult. I feel about 10 years behind friends who had decent families.
Career Path says
My mom taught me about money (saving, investing, setting up retirement accounts, living within your means), and how to clean like a champion.
What they did not teach me was anything about how to operate in the white collar world. My dad was career military, then owned his own business for a few years, and then went back to be a military contractor. My mom was a SAHM. My husband’s parents were very similar. None of our parents provided any guidance whatsoever about how to choose a college, choose a major, or really anything related to the future. My sister married a military man and is now a SAHM. I knew I did not want to follow in that same path, so I had to figure out the “how to get a career and work in an office” thing 100% on my own.
I don’t plan to try to force my kid into any particular direction as far as college or major or career path, but I do feel much better equipped to address that aspect of life than I think my parents and in-laws were.
hmmm says
This is really interesting to me. I served in the military, and know exactly the generational cycle of career military + SAHM you’re talking about, but I’d never stopped to think about it before. My parents are in healthcare and teaching, so they don’t really understand business either. It’s very straightforward to go to get certified in X and then get a job in a hospital or school. My husband’s parents are successful entrepreneurs, and his way of looking at business and career issues is hugely different from mine. I owe a lot of my corporate career success to my husband’s coaching… I doubt I could have figured it out as quickly on my own.
Navy Lawyer says
Interesting take by the commenters. Not that I disagree, but it’s probably also a fact that more families are dual income so there’s less time to shop for fresh food, chop it, and cook it. People are prioritizing it so will pay extra for fresh food delivery. My mom taught me but I was terrible at it, and she’s afraid of spices, until I cooked regularly once I had a family.
I wish I had been taught more empathy. My family is a bit cold, and light on expressing words of love (thought you knew it). They’re getting better with the grandkids, but it threw (through? brain is mush today) my husband for a loop prior to getting married.
Meg Murry says
I don’t know how teachable I am, but I am terrible at cleaning, incredibly slow at it and totally hate it. My parents worked jobs that weren’t typical 9-5, so they tended to do the housework when my sister and I were at school, or when we were older and they had more disposable income they hired a housecleaner. When I was a teen I had to do my own laundry and some very basic cooking and cleaning (unloading the dishwasher, etc) but I never really had cleaning chores and I didn’t learn to get down and scrub things clean. Add my ADHD tendencies to be a slob, have things in piles and be disorganized and it means I rarely get past the point of tidying up, let alone actual cleaning. My husband is a little neater than me, and a little better at cleaning, but he also did not have to do indoor chores at all – his family was very traditional on men’s roles and women’s roles, so he did yardwork, etc. Luckily he lived on his own long enough to figure out basic household stuff.
On one hand, I’d like my kids to learn to clean up after themselves. On the other hand, I’d really like my house to be far cleaner than it is, and I don’t want to take the time to do it myself, so I think hiring a cleaner is inevitable for me in the short run. I do intend to at least keep teaching my kids to cook at least the bare-bones basics and do their own laundry, and right now they think the vacuum cleaner is fun, but I don’t know that I’ll ever get to a point where they “get” what it is to clean a house on their own.
But on the flip side, I want to add that my father did 90% of the cooking and a lot of the childcare when I was growing up, and my husband is also doing an excellent job of modeling being an equal partner – so my main goal is to make sure I send my boys out into the world ready to be fully functioning adults capable of running their own household, and when I say “I haven’t taught them to clean” I fully acknowledge that to be just as much a failing of my husband as of me.
GreatQuestion says
Great question. I am so thankful my parents taught me how to interact in a professional setting. I realize how fortunate I was that I felt confident conversing with older adults when I was an older teen/young adult. I think it made me appear more competent than I otherwise was, and was always able to meet with professors/get good research assignments, etc. and that helped me out, as I am never going to be the one who tests my way into something. Every “win” in my life has been through a somewhat backdoor channel (e.g., meeting and hitting it off with a hiring partner to get a summer associate gig in BigLaw, did not get in via OCI back in the heyday of summer associate gigs).
Somewhat ironically, I didn’t learn how to say “no,” and fear angering authority figures – especially women. My mom is amazing and we have a great relationship now, but she has a temper (that I did inherit). Even now, I have a hard time pushing back, and I’m trying to actively teach my kids that (thin line, there, though as I don’t want to teach disobedience? but not blind allegiance).
Also, my parents grew up extremely poor, but both worked high income jobs. But money was a source of constant anxiety for them, and by extension for me. I want to teach my kids healthy savings without the fear.
My parents have an amazing marriage, and I’ve gotten to see two people gut it out over a long life and still really very much enjoy each other. My grandparents were the same. On the other hand, again with the temper, my mom can name call during fight, and that’s a legacy I inherited and am actively trying to shake.
Anon in NYC says
Oh, yes, healthy expression of anger was something that I definitely had to teach myself too!
Philanthropy Girl says
Same here! It took serious marriage issues and counseling before I figured out how to express anger in a healthy manner.
Spirograph says
I had a pretty great childhood in a lot of respects. My mom was a SAHM and dad has a high-earning career, so we had a fortunate combination of means and time. I do wish my family were closer. Independence is really valued, and while we all get along and enjoy each other’s company when we’re together, we’re not really emotionally demonstrative, don’t prioritize keeping in touch well, and we live all over the place. I’m always jealous of people who have Sunday Family Dinner with all their local extended family, and are BFFs with their siblings and cousins. My parents divorced when I was a teenager, and while I would never call their marriage acrimonious, it wasn’t the best example of a happy, healthy, equal partnership with good communication. My husband is much more involved in our home life than my dad ever was, but I do find myself defaulting to my mom’s way of just doing everything myself and getting resentful that H didn’t help out, when really all I need to do is ask. The way they both handled the divorce was a great lesson in civility, though.
I also wish I’d learned to golf and downhill ski. I wish I had better people and situation-reading skills; my parents are definitely introvert rule-followers and tend to take “no” for an answer the first time, and so do I (until my husband admonishes me). I wish I were naturally more organized/tidier, too. I’m really working on modeling this and expecting my kids to help out, but it’s a constant struggle. I can cook, clean, bake, sew, play instruments, budget, swim, camp/do outdoorsy stuff, non-embarrassingly play most team sports, and garden with the best of them, though!
Anon in NYC says
I wish I had learned how to ski too – I feel like it is something that my college friends did that I never participated in. I’m hoping to take my daughter when she is a bit older.
SC says
I am not sure how teachable I am, but I wish my mom had taught me some basic sewing, like sewing a button and hemming. I also wish my parents had taught me more “handy” stuff around the house and gardening. I wasn’t interested in it growing up, but I wish they’d taught me the basics. A lot of that type of stuff they just outsourced. Funny enough, several times as an adult, my parents have helped me with some of this stuff, and I’ve been surprised that they knew how!
Clementine says
I leaned cooking by trial and error and our of necessity as a kid.
What I wish I had leaned was how to be tidy. I am food at cleaning, but just the day to day tidying is still a struggle for me.
hoola hoopa says
I wish my mom had taught me how to track my period. She did well overall in the reproductive arena, but I was a full grown adult before I really figured it out on my own.
There are some other things that I wish I’d learned as a child or could turn to my parents for advice now, but it’s things they don’t know either.
Anonymous says
Ladies, I’m going to put together some freezer meals for a new mom friend. Do you have any favorites? So far I’m planning chili with cornbread and roasted chicken and root vegetables. I’d like to add 2 or 3 more.
Philanthropy Girl says
I love sending breakfast foods too; getting the day going with a new baby can be a challenge. What about a breakfast casserole?
Meg Murry says
Breakfast burritos are good to freeze too. Let them cool in the fridge, then individually wrap in saran wrap or foil and put them all in a gallon size ziploc. Easy to re-heat and eat one handed, and I’m happy to eat eggs at any time of the day.
AEK says
A baked pasta like lasagna or ziti always hits the spot for me. Or just a huge batch of sauce (meat / no meat) divided up into freezer portions so there’s an easy meal to throw together anytime.
If not to similar to your chili, a rice-and-beans dish is another idea.
JJ says
I loved breakfast food I could eat one-handed while nursing. Muffins, scones, breakfast sandwiches, etc.
POSITA says
There are some great macaroni and cheese recipes that use sweet potato or squash in place of much of the cheese. They are sooooo good and pretty healthy! We often keep one in the freezer for emergencies.
Anonymous says
I’ve been bringing a chicken pot pie and baked ziti when I go to meet new babies, and they’ve all been well received. I make them in 8×8 foil cake pans, so they can be frozen or heated as is.
OP says
Thanks all! These are great ideas. I’m going to try a chicken pot pie (pioneer woman has an awesome recipe) and homemade mac ‘n cheese, then save the rest of these ideas for next time. (I have a word doc where I save all the ‘r3tt3 advice I want to use later.)
Anonymous says
NY attorney moms – did you only fulfill prorated CLE requirements for the year while you took mat leave? I took a pretty long mat leave and want to make sure I am not going to be screwing something up. I think the regs indicate that I am going to be okay, but would like to hear what others did.
Anonymous says
OP here. Never mind. In case anyone is wondering, you may only be exempt if you were not practicing during your entire CLE cycle.
TBK says
My sons are starting to pronounce words correctly and it’s breaking my heart. I know they can’t be 30 and pronounce strawberry as “subbee” but the mispronounced words are so cute!
Philanthropy Girl says
My nephew used to call helicopters helee-elee-elees – it was a heartbreaker when it ended it. Mine calls socks gocks and I know it will be so happy/sad when he starts using real words.
I feel you, mama!
JJ says
Oh, that’s so bittersweet. Even when they pronounce things correctly, it’s still pretty amazing to listen to what they say. My 4-year old just amazes me with the stuff that comes out of his mouth. (Don’t all parents say that?)
Career Path says
Maybe this inappropriate/amusing story will cheer you up. My daughter is just starting to say more than an handful of words, so I’m doing the stupid thing where I’m asking her to say words like “b**bie”. Well. The other day we were both getting ready for the day and I was putting her clothes on while I was still dressed in my under wear. She reached up, put one hand on each chest-region, grabbed and shook them, and declared proudly “B**BIE!”
Now I’m paranoid she’s going to do that with her daycare teacher…
Lesson learned.
Fin.
Is this normal? says
I know the answer to every time a pregnant woman asks that is “yes,” but still – do babies have growth spurts inside your uterus or is there some other reason why I’m suddenly exhausted every day for a week and literally am struggling to keep my eyes open today? (I’m at 26 weeks, typically have been tired this whole pregnancy but this week is some first trimester BS, I swear!)
Anon in NYC says
Haha, yes. But also, if it persists, ask your doctor to check your thyroid. I developed gestational hypothyroidism (although without extreme tiredness). My thyroid function was completely normal for a non-preg person, but needed to be better for a preg person. I was on Synthroid during the duration of my pregnancy.
Anonymous says
I’m 3 days shy of 26 weeks myself! This is my second. My baby does what i tell DH feels like “rearranging the furniture” and/or “expanding the apartment”. It seriously feels like she’s moving walls around in there some days!!
With my first, I had lots of energy in the second trimester. With #2 I asked my doc because I was still a lazy sleepy slug at 18 weeks. She told me to sleep more :-). I sleep 10+ hours a day.
I have also gained weight earlier this go-round and am much bigger bump-wise than I was the first time (when I gained 60lbs!!) . Ugh.
Meg Murry says
It’s probably just normal exhaustion, or you are about to come down with one of the 75,000 bugs that is going around (ugh), but it is worth mentioning to your doctor. Have you done your glucose test for gestational diabetes yet? I didn’t have GD, but I am insulin resistant overall, which means that if I eat a meal heavy on simple carbs I am literally falling asleep 1.5-2 hours later. Not just “oh, I’m a little tired” but “I am seriously nodding off mid-sentence, almost passing out more than falling asleep”.
Chances are its nothing major, but it’s probably worth talking to your doctor about just in case.
OP says
I haven’t yet – will have it in a week or so. I wonder if that’s part of my problem – I’m still have nausea issues, so carbs are kinda my jam. Midwives said to try to eat more protein and drink more water and we’ll check in again at my appt. on Monday. Thanks for all the thoughts, ladies!
SC says
Does anyone have any suggestions of something to do for a weekend, maybe a long weekend, with a 13-month-old? My husband is going to be out of town soon on a super-special trip with his father and sister. Typically, I’d probably go see my parents on a free weekend, but they’ll be traveling internationally at the time. I’m in a mid-size southern city and could travel, but it seems like so much work with a one year old. Or should I just take him to the local zoo or something? Anyone have any go-to “special day” plans?
mascot says
Um, whatever you can do to tire him out so you get some down time during his long nap? Just me?
At 13 months, he’s too young to realize that this is a special day vs a normal day of getting to hang out with mom and he will like anything that you do.
That being said, you’ll need variety to keep you amused. Picnic, a new playground, take your camera and take him to the park to play with bubbles, , fingerpainting, casual lunch with a friend. My child could never get enough water play- pool, water table, sprinkler, splash pad, etc if it is warm enough.
Willpower ftw says
You guys. I have an envelope in my purse with the sex of gestating baby on it. The plan is for husband and I to have date night and open it together, but in order to do that I have so far
1. turned down the nurse’s offer to tell me over the phone with the results of the chromosome blood test,
2. not looked when the doctor wrote it on a little Rx form, folded it once and tucked it in the outside pocket of my purse,
3. not looked when I pulled it out of the purse and quickly jammed it in an envelope.
I AM SO CURIOUS. AND WE DON’T EVEN HAVE A BABYSITTER LINED UP YET.
/rant
Anonymous says
When you get home, give it to him to hide? So hard!!!
I had the genetics counselor leave me a VM and when I got it, I called DH and we listened on speakerphone together :-). No way I could have waited for date night!!
Anonymous says
Ha! We didn’t make it out of the parking lot with the envelope!
So you have a ton of willpower! ;)
Willpower ftw says
If my husband had been at the appt, we might not have, either. We decided a TV date night with some wine was close enough. :) It’s a boy! And now my “name” is mostly ironic.
Anonymous says
My 14 month old loves kraftdinner. Does anyone have some healthier ideas? And I’ve tried giving him other kinds of pasta with normal cheese – no dice.