Something on your mind? Chat about it here.
Here’s a slipper that’s a little extra from cozy-footwear expert Ugg.
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Kid/Family Sales
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Anonymous says
Help! My 6 year old hung up a stocking for her pet fish. She very clearly is expecting Santa to fill it.
Ideas?? She already got the fish some fancy paper to use as a background on his tank. Fish has all necessary stuff- heater, etc. aquarium doesn’t have room for anymore plants or decor.
I’m considering a small petco gift card but even that feels insane.
Nonny says
that’s hilarious! small frame for next to the fish tank so she can draw the fish pictures or put in a photo of herself?
anon says
Ooh, that’s a cute idea!
anon says
Similar to the frame idea, could you make a little mirror out of foil to affix to the side of the fish tank? Or do you have a little mirror from a cosmetic compact that you could repurpose? That way the fish can “look at” itself.
Anon says
A fish ornament for the Christmas tree?
anon says
Do you have extra fish food/snacks you can just put in the stocking?
A says
Anyone else worried this storm is going to derail their Christmas plans? I’m just glad we’re not traveling…
Anon says
Midwest so the storm has mostly passed. We’re not traveling but I expect anyone who’s traveling tomorrow or later to not have much trouble. We don’t celebrate Christmas but we’re hunkered down at home with my parents and kiddo is having a blast.
Anon says
Can anyone give me a gut check about how normal this? My 5 year old seems incapable of taking responsibility for anything she does wrong. Tonight we were having family movie night on the couch and she accidentally kicked the dog. That in and of itself wasn’t a big deal, I know it was an accident and the dog was fine. But she got hysterical and started screaming about how it was the dog’s fault for being in her space, my fault for not moving the dog, etc. This isn’t the first time where she’s blamed everyone but herself for a problem she created.
Anonymous says
My oldest does this often. Play therapy has been somewhat helpful for tamping it down. I honestly don’t have any other strategies to help in the moment. It sucks. Sorry.
FVNC says
Not sure if you’ll see this response…but my 5.5 yr old is the same way. In his kindergarten class, they have been talking about “personal responsibility” so I assume it is a fairly common issue. It’s really aggravating and I don’t know what to do about it either (my older kid never had this issue) but I tend to just tell him: “No, you caused [whatever]. You’re not in trouble [if that’s true] but you need to take responsibility for causing [whatever] to happen. It happened because of your actions.” I have not seen much (any?) improvement so I’m not sure this advice is worth anything!
Clementine says
Anybody else hating life and working on Tuesday?
Anonymous says
Working today! Luckily from home, so I can put a dent in our huge collection of leftovers for lunch. DH is entertaining his parents and LO is at daycare so the house is blissfully quiet.
Kart says
Haha, so relate to this – I just sent my husband a long text listing out all the leftovers we have to eat, when he asked if we should order takeout for lunch. GOD NO!
SC says
I’m working today! Given my son’s mood when I left home, I feel like my husband’s day may be worse. A Lego meltdown seemed imminent.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yeah, I feel like staying home with both kids all week would be worse. Kid 1 is with grandparents and will be in a morning camp this week, and kid 2 is back at daycare. I’m working two days this week and don’t mind. I think it would be better for us to go somewhere away from home if we were all together all week.
Boo work says
Yep! I’m trying to save up leave for whenever I have another kid. Damn stingy parental leave in the US.
Anon says
I’m off this week (no daycare, but local grandparents) and it’s fun but fairly chaotic. My mom, 4 year old and I were supposed to go do something but the weather didn’t cooperate. My mom just texted me “[your father] is throwing a tantrum.” I thought it was a typo and I said “you mean [kid] is throwing a tantrum?” And she said “no [kid] is great, it’s your father who is very upset.” Apparently he was really hyped about the alone time 🤣
Anonymous says
Working today AND my kids’ daycare is closed this week. H is home with the kiddos. Honestly, a quiet day in the office is leaving me feel more refreshed than another hectic day trying to dig out from the Christmas mess at home.
Somehwat relatedly, I was making conversation on Christmas Eve and complaining in a very mild way about the daycare being closed this week like “ugh that sucks since we still have to work or take vacation, ya know?” and, instead of just smiling and nodding and moving along, my BIL goes into why it’s good for kids to have a break and how it should be nice to have the time with them and it’s sad that some kids don’t get a winter break. I was like, Okaaaaaaaaay, thank you for the casual mom shame. I’m going to go try to get my withholding toddler to poop again, thankyouverymuch.
anon says
I don’t see that as mom shaming at all.
Anon says
I don’t either.
FVNC says
I don’t know if it’s “mom shaming” exactly, but it would certainly rub me the wrong way because it could easily be interpreted as a criticism of OP’s parenting (like, if she were a better mom she’d have found a way to take off work and give her kids the winter break they apparently deserve). I’d argue that a break can be beneficial for school aged kids, but daycare-aged kids? Why do they *need* a break? My kids’ teachers always made the holiday seasons so fun and special at daycare, my kids would have hated to miss out on the fun (as they frequently told me, whenever I would pick them up early!).
Anon says
Our daycare does have a winter break, but my kid was one of only 4 kids in her class of 20 there on the 22nd, the last day before break. I felt guilty about it for a minute but then I remembered that she enjoys school and wanted to go. I do think it’s kid-dependent though. Mine loves daycare but also loves being picked up early. I think her ideal school day would be 10-3 or something like that. My best friend’s kids hate daycare and would beg to stay home in this situation.
Anonymous says
+1. Our daycare does a winter break, too, but one thing they do that actually encourages families to take a break is offer a one-week tuition credit that can be used any time of year if you’re taking time off with your kid(s). H and I are scrambling to work and trade off supervising our 2-year-old because we’re busier than expected this week, but we really enjoyed last summer’s vacation.
And, fwiw, kiddo is pretty upset that she can’t see her beloved teacher this week. She’s been asking about every 30 min for us to check to make sure the school is really closed.
Anon says
At age 2 any disruption to routine is hard on kids and if their routine involves school they’re going to want to go. Mine had just turned 2 at the start of the pandemic and asked every day for months if she could go to school. It was so sad. It’s more when they get older and realize that staying home is an option that they (may) wish they could do that instead.
super anon for this says
Thoughts? I am an attorney, and now due to changes at the firm/slower pace, basically work with my boss, a very experienced attorney nearing retirement. We are expecting some cases to wrap up this upcoming year. Since the firm changes, I now work less hours on average — still usually at my desk about 40, but putting in much less night/weekend hours and not billing as efficiently as I was when I had back-to-back hard deadlines. If you had a choice, would you rather be paid hourly, or take a salary decrease? Part of me is leaning toward salary reduction, in part because I’m admittedly not great at billing every second I’m working and just to have consistency. Any factors I should consider? I’m not considering leaving at this point because I do enjoy the autonmy, wfh, don’t want to start a new firm part time with my kids ages, do not want to go back to working beyond 40 regularly, etc.
Anon says
Are these options being presented to you and you have to pick one? I certainly wouldn’t voluntarily ask for a salary reduction just because you’re not going to be billing less. To me, the bigger issue seems to be that your boss is near retirement – won’t you basically be a solo practitioner at that point? Or are there other attorneys in this firm?
NYCer says
Without knowing the details about numbers, I would pick salary reduction. I find it difficult (impossible, for me) to bill every hour I am working.
anonM says
NYE coming soon – want to share some NY goals? And 2022 wins/positives?
Also, for any other BOBW followers – this years’ goals episode left me feeling like sh*t about myself. I know that’s more a me issue than a BOBW issue, but did anyone else feel that way? Wondering if I need a break from listening, but I usually get something from each episode even there are some eye rolls. But this one just felt….discouraging. Just wondering what others have felt, as I know we have a lot of BOBW followers here.
Anon says
2022 wins – all our family is healthy (not something I take for granted after my BFF’s dad died last year) and my parents in particular are very involved with my kid, we got back into travel in a big way after two years of not traveling much because of the pandemic, my kid was 4 for most of this year and it was a really fun age (sooo much better than 3).
I’m not a big goal setter and we’re Jewish and have a NY in September that generally feels more meaningful to me because it’s much closer to the start of the new academic year. But in 2023 I want to do more volunteering (I did a lot pre-Covid but haven’t resumed it yet) and more writing.
anonM says
What kind of writing and how do you make time for that? Do you write a lot for work? Wondering, because I write for work and would like to try writing for fun, but seems difficult to put energy into now, so curious about how others do this. TY!
Anon says
My hobby writing is a travel blog which was neglected for years because of little kids and the pandemic, but I got back into it this year and want to do more next year. I want to write a novel at some point, but having a hard time finding the mental energy for that now. I think that will be my empty nest-er project. The blog writing is more along the lines of “captioning my travel photos” so it doesn’t require the same level of creative energy when it comes to the writing. I also write a lot for work.
AwayEmily says
That’s awesome!
Anon says
My 2023 theme is “create space” which refers to some clutter based goals I have at home and stretching / mobility goals related to my back / body. I hear you on the BOBW. I know that Laura is usually people’s problem, but for me, just listening to Sarah was starting to get stressful with all the self improvement. It sets off anxiety in me (and frankly, I think her as well – she’s just kind of wired to never be satisfied. I wish I had that drive!). My advice is to find a couple themes of direction and set a couple goals that you want to achieve and also it’s realistic to achieve. No need to set quintiles and 17 step daily routines, etc. Come join me where the low standards are:)
anonM says
So, you’re not calculating how many pages is 1/10 of your book and reading that every night??!! Lol, thanks for the realism!
Anon says
Is that what BOBW recommends? That sounds cray. I read a lot and I do try to hit a Goodreads goal, but I read in spurts. Like if I go on vacation, especially without kids, I’ll read at least a book at day but then there’ll be a busy couple weeks at home and I won’t read at all. This idea that you have to achieve goals in such a regimented way makes no sense to me.
anonM says
I’ll answer my own Qs…
Goals – see a primary care physician! (I see an OBGYN, dentist, etc., but haven’t had a normal physical/bloodwork done in awhile, and my BFF found a tumor at her annual!). Make a habit to listen to music daily. Break for lunch every day of WFH. Weekly virtual lunch break with out-of-state sister.
2022 goal wins – improved my beauty/hygiene routine including adding daily sunscreen; I’m good about regular library visits with the kids, especially with more things out post-pandemic; started compost and reduced some plastics
Anonymous says
Win from 2022 and is a goal I want to keep reaching for in 2023… stop doing things “just because”. Relates to essentially breaking some habits I’ve developed. It’s TW for some food and exercise.
For example – I like using a certain kind of pen and style of pad at work for to do lists and notes. They stopped hvaibg both of them at my office, so I was using ones I didn’t really like because they were the ones available. One day I realized that I was about $15 away from having a multi year supply of my preferred pens and pads, so I should just buy them. I did and life is so much better.
There are certain foods I’ve always eaten or ordered at some places and I don’t actually like that version of food. For example, getting chicken with pasta so that I’d have protein at the meal. I like chicken, I like pasta, but I don’t like them together at all. I’d rather just eat pasta with no additional meat. Or I realized that although I’m not a vegetarian, sometimes I would prefer to have a meatless meal, even if the location is a steakhouse (give me all the mushrooms and creamed spinach!!!)
I also was making myself join exercise studios for spinning and HIIT workouts because that’s what people seem to think is “best”, and I don’t actually like either of these types of workouts because I don’t like completing with people and I hate jumping/it’s incredibly uncomfortable for me with having a large chest (well, spinning was okay until it became a competition with leaderboards, etc.). The exercise class that I do like and am happy to wake up at 530 to go to is Pilates reformer, so now I do that.
anon says
Love this!
Spirograph says
me too!
my new years resolution is to work less, and save more time and mental space for things that bring me joy.
Anon says
Haven’t listened to the BOBW episode because I’ve been off it for a while. For the past year/couple of years their brand of high intensity self improvement hasn’t been working for me. For years it did! And I expect there might be a time in the future where it’ll work for me again. But right now, it’s feeling really good to let good enough be good enough and not always work towards better.