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Sales of note for 8.30.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 20% off
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lands’ End – 40% off sitewide; 50% off backpacks, 40% off kids’ apparel
- Loft – Summer sale, 30% off new arrivals; up to 50% off much more
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- Zappos – 28,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off everything
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 40% off everything
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off sitewide; extra 50% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 50-60% off; 50% off pants for the family
- Target – 20% off select clothing for all; up to 50% off home; up to 30% off select nursery furniture; up to 30% off kitchen & dining
How many kids? says
I feel like I’m obsessed with the decision of whether or not to have a second kid. Has anyone else felt this way? DD is 3.25 and for the last few days I’ve been feeling like we’ve got to decide now (even though objectively that’s not true). Previously I’ve been hesitant to make a decision either way. I’ve felt like I really wanted my first and haven’t had the urge (yet) to have a second, so I’ve been sitting tight. My husband has been clear that he does not desire another. I haven’t pushed it though because I’m not even sure I want another. I feel jealous of people who are content with how many they’ve chosen to have (whatever that number may be!). It seems like number of kids is such an easy decision for everyone except me. Can anyone relate?
Anon says
I think it’s a hard decision for a lot of people! Your age is a bigger factor than your child’s age, IMO. If you’re close to 40, I can understand feeling like it’s now or never, but I wouldn’t worry too much about your child’s age. I know lots of siblings who are 5+ years apart and while they may not play together as closely as siblings who are 2-3 years apart, they also don’t fight as much and they can still get the benefits of an adult sibling (friendship, support with aging parents, etc.). If your husband does not want another, and you don’t feel a strong pull to have a second, it seems silly to try now. Why don’t you just wait and see how you feel in six months?
My only child just turned 6 and I think of myself one and done and describe myself that way to others, but we never did permanent birth control and at this point (I’m 38) it seems pretty certain we never will get anyone snipped or tied. I highly doubt we’ll have a second, but I would say there’s at least a 1% chance? I can’t say for sure how my feelings will evolve. I know two only children who got siblings in second grade (full bio siblings in both cases).
Anonymous says
Thanks for your reply! All good points. I’m 35 (so on par with you as far as age when our children were born), so technically still have some time to decide. DH is 42. The permanent birth control thing resonates with me – I feel like if we’re not having another we should get my DH snipped and enjoy the benefits…but I’m just not ready to pull the trigger on that (which is fine!).
Anon says
Yeah, we always assumed my husband would get snipped when we felt 110% certain we were done and then we just… never did. But not being completely sure doesn’t take away the fact that we feel very content with just one. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with just using regular birth control and kicking the question of whether to have a second kid down the road.
Anon says
It’s a hard decision for a lot of people. For me, I was going back and forth, and decided I was leaning toward another, and then found that it consumed my thoughts. Every day I was thinking about it multiple times a day. Mostly I was thinking I wanted one more, but I would also have moments of focusing on the cons. I just did not feel ready to close this chapter of my life.
Well, with a little push from me, my husband came around and I am now pregnant (with #4). I feel so peaceful, and so certain that we are done after this. It’s like I finally have my answer — someone was missing, and now that she is coming we will be able to joyfully and unreservedly move forward.
anon says
I’m in a similar boat. I think I want a second one in theory but recognize the practical difficulties but my husband is pretty hardcore against it. I don’t think I feel strongly enough at this point to try to convince him. I’m 37 now with a 4 year old. I don’t want to have a kid at 40 so that door is closing for us.
anon says
Very similar to you – husband has only ever made negative , never positive, comments about having another. I’d like one more ideally, but I think it would push our resources very hard and I’m 38. There was an earlier post a week or so ago about how to accept not being on the same page about number of kids and my strategy is basically trying to internalize that we’re one and done, no uncertainty.
anon says
Yes! I always assumed I’d have two, but honestly since we had #2 (like, I thought this in the hospital) I felt like I wasn’t done and I might want to do it again. But, I waivered for a long time, and knew we wanted a larger gap than between 1 and 2. I didn’t get rid of all the baby stuff and didn’t say no when people asked. I also knew DH would go for as a large a family as I would agree to, and his current company has a 12-week paid pat leave (!!). Once we reached the max age gap I felt like, and hit the window to avoid a third winter baby, we started trying and I’m now expecting #3. But I really was on the fence for a long time and didn’t decide until I felt like it was the now-or-never window. TBH, I still felt like I would have been happy with 2, and if we had decided the other way that would have been ok too. It came down to a bit of a gut decision.
Anonymous says
It wasn’t necessarily easy for me either. My husband was similar to yours, and also similarly older than me, although I was 35 when we had our first (and only). I didn’t even want to consider it until he was closer to 3, as my mother had drilled into me not to do as she did and have 2 under 2. (I am number 2 in this case; Mommy cried a lot when we were little). By the time he was 3, the idea of going back to newborn stage was not appealing, and the cost was overwhelming – we live in NYC and do not have $$ corporate jobs. We didn’t pursue permanent birth control–my husband was certain he didn’t want to do that, as what if our son died and we decided we wanted another baby? This is dark but its apparently how he thinks. Anyway, now I’m 47 and still wonder if I could accidentally get pregnant. Denial is helpful in this case. I guess I’m letting the clock run out.
I remember my therapist saying that most people are somewhat ambivalent about having children in general. If your husband is sure, and you aren’t particularly wanting to, maybe just count your blessings that you are more or less on the same page?
Anony says
Omg, it was a really hard decision for me! It was also complicated by infertility, and I saw it more of a decision of do we try or not, rather than do we have another baby. I felt like I had to figure out the path that I would be okay with in hindsight, whether or not a baby resulted. I also really really wanted a baby when we were initially trying (I felt like I was constantly missing someone I had never met), and never got that feeling again, but I still had so much trouble deciding whether to give it a shot (or, realistically, many shots) anyway. In the meantime, my husband was like “round one was basically the hunger games, we survived, our kid is the best, let’s count our blessings,” but if I had felt as strongly as I did the first time, I know he would have taken that seriously. In the end, we decided not to try again. The reasons for that are important to us but totally irrelevant to other people (some are specific to my medical situation) so I’m not going to go into why, but rather the perspective shift that helped me make a decision: embracing our choice, whatever it was, could also be a choice. I didn’t need to feel a sense of inherent certainty because there’s not necessarily one right answer; there are many ways to have a happy family. We were just choosing one and moving forward.
Anonymous says
My perspective on this has been shaped recently by DS’s new best friend, who happens to be an only child. The BF’s feelings are SO intense. He treats DS like a brother, strongly believes that they are secretly twins (their birthdays are the same month), and it’s obvious that his parents are eager for playdates because BF gets so bored at home. It’s sweet but also sad! Meanwhile, my two kids will play with each other for hours. I rarely feel like I need to entertain them. Sure they fight over sharing toys, but now that we’re past diapers it’s kind of easy? Frankly the times when one of them has school but the other doesn’t are the hardest days of the year.
Aside from the financial implications, for us travel has been the biggest challenge. It’s twice the hassle, twice the odds that someone is going to be vomiting/ sleep deprived/ hangry/ etc. But day to day, I personally find two kids much easier.
Anon says
Just a different perspective from someone whose child could be your son’s BFF… while there are obviously downsides to zeroing in to much on any one kid and we encourage our kid to have a wide social circle, there is nothing sad to me about forming close sibling-like relationships with friends. As an adult only, my BFF I met in college (also an only) is a sister to me, without the baggage of sibling rivalry. Chosen family is more important than biological family for many people and I love that my extroverted only child has forced us out of our comfort zone and helped us get close to other families. We’re taking a Disney cruise next week with one of her best friends and the BFF’s mom. My kid is happy playing alone or with us and never acts lonely but we set up lots of play dates because it is fun, and we’ve been fortunate to find other like-minded families who like getting together or loaning us their kids for the day. I wouldn’t assume the kid is miserable just because they try to set up frequent play dates. We “borrow” a kid for pretty much all days off school and have never had any trouble finding people to loan us their kids for the day – and then we get to send them home. It’s the best of both worlds for me.
Anon says
The perils of work from home.. I had today off and I didn’t realize until I was halfway through my work day!! To add insult to injury I’m pretty sure today was the first day I’ve had since becoming a parent where I had off and my kid had school. 😭
Anonymous says
That’s terrible! I hope you can compensate on another day
Anon says
Any recommendations on kids books about listening or following directions?
My 4 year old has been acting up at preschool. Mostly just not listening to directions. We’ve talked to her. But it’s also a challenging time for her with a 6 week old baby brother at home. I’m hoping a book or two we can read at bedtime would help.
Anonymous says
With a 6 week younger sibling at home, that sounds a lot like acting out for attention (even if negative attention). I would like into giving as much one on one attention at home as possible. And verbalize when you are making baby wait. Like baby is fussing in stroller while you help older kid with coat – actually say out loud ‘Baby you have to wait a moment, I’m busy helping Kid right now’. Baby will be soothed by the sound of your voice and Kid will feel like they don’t always come second to baby.
Anon says
Ugh just need to vent for a bit… Christmas break hasn’t even officially started and my mom (who is local) is already driving me crazy. She’s a hands-on, fun grandma and my kid loves spending time with her, but she has some personality traits that really irritate me (chief among them, rigid inflexibility and a tendency to insert herself into every conversation regardless of whether she knows what she’s talking about) and she’s going to be around basically 24/7 for the next two weeks. I could see less of her if I sent my kid to her house, but then I miss my kid, who is in elementary school and pretty fun and easy. I have already snapped at my mom several times this weekend, which I’m not proud of, but she said some really annoying and demanding things. I know if we spent less time together our relationship would be more pleasant, but she’s not somewhere who would react well to a conversation about me needing more space. I alternate between feeling really sad about the fact that we’re barely going to have any time as a nuclear family over break, and then also feeling guilty that I have what is many people’s dream scenario (a helpful local grandma who follows our parenting rules and is willing to provide unlimited childcare) and I’m not appreciative enough.
Anonymous says
I have a similar situation. I have solved it by going skiing with my nuclear family. When I’m out of town, I’d have the space I need.
Anonymous says
Split the days – I regularly had out with kid at home in the morning, feed them lunch then drop them up to grandma’s for a couple hours. I find it works best when there is a mix of us seeing them out at events (church on Christmas eve, their house (12-4 on Christmas Day, and our house (6-8pm on the 26th), and them having just the kids at our house if DH and I have an event, or just the kids at their house)
Anonymous says
hello from the layover en route to our ski vacation. so far this trip has included a lot more vomit than I bargained for. and new pants purchased at the airport, thanks to being forced to gate check the kids’ carry-on-sized suitcases because we were in a late boarding group. Hoping it gets better from here!
Happy holidays, fellow moms!
Anon says
Oh no, I hope it turns around! We had a trip early this year that began with a stomach bug but ended up being one of our best trips ever.