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This is a cute and flattering top from Kimi + Kai maternity. I like the interesting knot detail on the neckline, which is kind of a cross between a v-neck and scoopneck. When I was pregnant, I really liked tops that were long, made from a thick material, and a little bit stretchy. This top is 5% spandex, so it will be good at growing with you. It comes in sizes XS–L in several colors, is machine washable, and is currently on sale for $28.80, regularly $48. “Grace” Twist Knot Maternity Top A plus-size option from Motherhood Maternity is available both at Macy’s and the brand’s own website. Building a maternity wardrobe for work? Check out our page with more suggestions along both classic and trendy/seasonal lines.Sales of note for 5.5.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase (ends 5/12); $50 off your $200+ purchase (ends 5/5)
- Banana Republic Factory – Spend your StyleCash with 40-60% off everything, or take an extra 20% off purchase (ends 5/6)
- Eloquii – $19 & up 300+ styles and up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Shirts & tees starting at $24.50; extra 30% off sale styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – 40% off full-price styles & extra 15% off; extra 55% off sale styles
- Nordstrom: Nordy Club members earn 3X the points on beauty; 30% off selected shoes
- Talbots – 40% off one item & and 30% off everything else; $50 off $200 (all end 5/5)
- Zappos – 27,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 40% off everything & extra 20% off select styles with code
- Hanna Andersson – Friends & Family Sale: 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Crewcuts – tk; extra 30% off sale styles; kids’ styles starting at $14.50
- Old Navy – Up to 75% off clearance
- Target – 20% off women’s clothing & shoes; up to 50% off kitchen & dining; 20% off jewelry & hair accessories; up to $100 off select Apple products; up to 40% off home & patio; BOGO 50% off adult & YA books
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon says
Our nanny quit unexpectedly over the weekend (via text…). She’s willing to work for two more weeks. Normally I’d expect an employee to serve out their notice period, but I’m not sure if it’s different when the employee is taking care of your child. Would you be comfortable leaving a nanny alone with your kid for the next two weeks in this situation? Also we have a spot in daycare May 1, which is when our nanny was supposed to leave. We were already anxious about the transition for our 15 month old (who has always been at home with a parent or nanny), and the idea of starting her somewhere else for just a few weeks and then transitioning to our original place is really stressful. I’m also not even sure how much before May 1 we could get into a place we’re comfortable with. Waiting lists are long in our area, and we’re no longer on other waitlists because we accepted this spot. Is it reasonable to ask my boss about taking unpaid leave to cover the time until we can start her in daycare?
Anonymous says
I would be comfortable with the nanny working the leave depending on the reason she gave notice – like does she have a schooling opportunity or family obligation that she couldn’t turn down and she feels bad about the situation? She may not have given you the details in a text so you may have to call to discuss and get a sense of if she will be reliable in the next couple weeks. Would 100% not let her care for the child again if she is quitting because she is disgruntled in some way.
If she’s younger, don’t be too offended by the text. A lot of 20somethings use text for everything and rarely make phone calls. Not saying it’s right, but that alone wouldn’t affect my decision.
For the in-between period, can you ask to WFH and find a teenager babysitter. Maybe offset your work hours with DH’s so you don’t have to take full time leave for an entire month. Is there a relative who could fly in for a couple weeks and then you and DH take a week of leave each? My mom isn’t up for full time nannying but she covers for two weeks each year when my sister’s nanny is on vacation. Sister and DH offset their work hours and WFH more to help out – e.g. make kids lunch so grandma can rest for an hour.
Pogo says
+1 to relative if you can. I know not everyone has that option, but it is what I would do in this scenario.
Anonymous says
1- yes, I’d be fine letting her work the two weeks since she quit, you didn’t fire her
2- call daycare, explain what happened, and ask if there’s any way they can help
3- I wouldn’t ask for unpaid leave. It would seriously hurt my career and my boss would probably say no. I’d start with your local FB group- maybe someone is paying for a month of day care they don’t need, maybe someone knows a nanny in between jobs who could work for a month, maybe someone would nanny share with you for a month to save some money.
Anon says
I like the idea of finding a temporary sitter while you WFH. In addition to a student, you could try care dot com and backup care providers like Bright Horizons (in addition to drop in centers they also offer backup nannies).
Anonymous says
contact the daycare you are signed up with and ask if any of the floaters (or regular teachers) are looking to pick up extra hours. That way they would also be familiar to your little one when she starts at daycare.
Legally Brunette says
That’s really frustrating, I’m sorry. In addition to calling your daycare to ask if your child can start early, you could also consider hiring someone from a “professional” nanny staffing agency. So rather than going through Care dot com and sifting through hundreds of applications, the staffing agency has already vetted them for you.
In DC, the most popular one is White House Nannies. It’s very expensive but the sitters are supposed to be really excellent and have already been vetted so that you don’t have to do that. Assuming you’re in a relatively big city, I’m sure there is one in your area. Good luck.
SC says
+1 to a nanny staffing agency. They’re significantly more expensive in my area, but they have already vetted people and will know if someone on their call list is willing to pick up a few weeks.
It may also be worth reaching out to others in your community. Can you think of anyone, especially retired teachers or former SAHMs, who might be willing to provide a few weeks of care, even if they’re not ready for full-time employment? Can you post on a local college job board?
Redux says
We had a situation in which we did not let the caregiver work the final two weeks, but it was because our kid got booted from her in-home daycare after only a few weeks for being “too aggressive” and “not understanding english.” She was 18 months old and is bilingual in English (her dominant language) and our home language. I felt like the caregiver had already shown poor judgment by not being able to help my kid transition, labeling her unfairly, and also being a super-xenophobe. Short of that, though, I would take the two weeks.
Pogo says
I am so sorry that happened to you! I would agree, this kind of situation where the caregiver has obvious animosity toward your child would make me uncomfortable continuing even if the caregiver agreed to work the final 2 weeks.
Also, what 18 mo “understands” any language.
Redux says
Totally. She had like 5 words total at the time– in both languages. I just went back and revisited the email thread I have on this (yes, she kicked us out over email!) and it is so much worse than I remember! E.g., the asst. teacher told me that she didn’t talk to my child because she took French in high school, *shrug*. Luckily, this is all behind us now, but it was pretty traumatic. This kind of othering is so toxic.
OP says
I like the WFH idea but my boss is an older, childless male and I think he would assume I’m providing childcare while “working from home.” I don’t think he understands the concept of a mother’s helper or that there is childcare you’re comfortable with if you’re around but you’re not comfortable leaving your baby alone with all day every day. I think his attitude would be, “if you have childcare, why can’t you be in the office?” Asking for leave seems less unprofessional to me, but maybe I’m wrong about that.
I did contact the daycare we’re signed up with, they’re aware of the issue but didn’t think we would be able to get in any earlier. Family is not an option and unfortunately the nature of DH’s job is such that he can’t take time off at this time of year (barring something like a death in the immediate family) or WFH, so I’m the one who has to handle this.
anon says
I would go for the idea of a short-term sitter: hit up your FB neighborhood and mom’s group, post on care.com (note the short-term nature), ask your current nanny if she knows of anyone, ask your daycare (and other nearby centers) if any of their floaters are looking for extra hours, look at some of the drop-in care places, make sure all of your local friends know you’re looking. Since it’s just a two-week gap, I’m betting you can cobble together 10 days of care with someone you’re comfortable with, even if it’s not the perfect candidate.
Also, I would absolutely keep your current nanny for the two week notice period.
Wow says
In that case I would aggressively look for a professional nanny through an agency, as someone else recommended. You can work from home (or take the day off) the first day or two that she is there. Then assuming you trust her, let her be the caretaker. These types of agencies are precisely for your situation. Not cheap, but very reliable and professional sitters.
Strategy Mom says
You could WFH the first 2 days with the temporary nanny to make sure you and your baby are comfortable with the new nanny. I promise 15 month olds are more adaptable than we think they are (especially when their home environment stays consistent – vs. temporarily putting her in a different daycare). I might also see if you could pay your current nanny a significant bonus to stay until May 1.
anon says
Yes, I would definitely ask your current nanny this question!! And do it sooner rather than later!
Anon says
Do you have any friends who use a nanny and might be willing to share for a bit? I’ve had friends nanny share and it worked out great for both families.
anon says
This is a reasonable idea. I could see that a family you are friends with would be a-okay with this plan for a set period of time (esp as short as two weeks) when they wouldn’t otherwise want to nanny share.
EB0220 says
This is a great idea!
Anon says
I would let the nanny work out her notice in this scenario. Unless you have other information, I would assume that she started job searching because she knew her contract with you would be ending soon. She probably got another job offer that was contingent on starting sooner, and felt that she needed to take it. Annoying for you, but not a red flag.
Beyond that, I’m not sure. I don’t have the kind of job where I could take unpaid leave easily. I would probably prefer a short-term nanny rather than an entire other daycare for a month, if you can find one.
OP says
It’s kind of a different scenario. We always knew we were getting a daycare spot around May, so we hired her to work from January to May. Finding someone interested in such a short term contract was difficult, but it worked out perfectly because our current nanny was moving away from our area at the end of May. We offered her guaranteed employment through May 31, even though we expected to get a daycare spot in late April/early May (which in fact happened). We figured that once we had to start paying for daycare, we’d send kiddo part-time and treat it like a preschool (eg., daycare 3 mornings/week, home with the nanny the rest of the time) and then transition to full-time daycare at the end of May once the nanny moved away. Her move date hasn’t changed, she just said she’s decided she’d rather not work between now and then. She doesn’t seem upset, but I think you have to be pretty dissatisfied to quit your job with nothing else lined up and leave 2 months of salary on the table, so I’m not sure it’s an entirely amicable split on her end.
anon says
That’s hard. I would do some real honest self-reflection and see what you can come up with in terms of why she might’ve quit. The nanny could be fed up with you, with your kid or kid’s behavior, with her commute, or just decided she doesn’t care enough about the money to keep working. If you are paying under market (or even right at market), you might consider upping her pay or promising a bonus at the end of each week and then at the end of April. Or maybe her parents just gave her a chunk of cash and she said, meh, I’d rather chill out my last couple of months in City than actually work like an adult. So many possibilities.
Stephanie says
What city are you in? If DC then I may have a rec (someone we used as temp nanny for a month when ours had to go abroad unexpectedly).
OP says
Not DC or any other major city, but thank you for offering!
Cb says
How long did it take you to feel normal post-weaning? I dropped the final two nursing sessions at 18 months and 6 weeks later, am feeling pretty rough. Not sure if it is weaning hormones, the long winter, or general life but I feel apathetic and disconnected. Work is busy, husband is preoccupied with some ongoing family stuff, toddler is wonderful but exhausting so perhaps just a season of life.
I’ll chat with my doctor but an appointment is at least 3 to 4 weeks away so wanted to crowdsource in the meantime.
Anonymous says
Honestly probably 6 months before I 100% felt back to myself. Double down on the self-care. Sleep and eat well. Try to get in some exercise in the fresh air even if it’s just a 20 minute walk at lunch.
Anonymous says
Same. At least six months. Six weeks definitely isn’t enough time.
CPA Lady says
I felt “fine” after a week or two. I weaned when my kid was 6 months old and I was working 70+ hour weeks and couldn’t sustain it.
That said, I didn’t really feel like myself until my kid was over the age of 3, tbh. I had to figure out the new normal of my life and that took a really really long time and had nothing to do with whether or not I was nursing.
Pogo says
LO was about 14 mo I think, and it was for sure more than 6w. My hormones are still weird and I’m nearly 5 months out from the official weaning now. The first 6w were the roughest, though.
Cb says
Oh that’s so reassuring. I really thought something was wrong with me, my life, my marriage etc. I didn’t think I was producing that much milk to begin with so I thought that weaning would be no big deal. I also went from the minipill to an IUD in the last 3 months so that feels like it’s a hormonal shift as well.
Anon says
About 3 months for me (but we had a really slow weaning process from 12-15 months where I tried to get her to wean and she wasn’t ready, so it was constantly a 2 steps forward 1 step back kind of deal).
Anon says
The old iPad we planned to load up with kid stuff for our upcoming cross-country flight is dead. Do we need to get a new tablet (probably a Fire) or can we get away with a laptop on the tray? Kidlets are 2.5yo twins.
I would prefer not to get a new device as I don’t think we would use it much at home (or at least, I wouldn’t want to use it at home), but I also don’t want my kids to break my laptop…
Anonymous says
It’s hard to use a laptop on the tray if the person in front of you reclines at all so I never rely on being able to use one in coach.
Anonymous says
Can you just use your phones? Do the planes have seat back tvs that you could use for kid shows?
Anonymous says
We got Fires for our 2 year old twins. Yes, we never use them except when traveling, but they were $60 each (older version, on sale) and I like the piece of mind that they can dropped without breaking and that the toddlers know they don’t ever get to use my laptop.
octagon says
Fire tablet FTW. It’s not nearly as nice as the ipad, but perfectly good for kids at a fraction of the cost. Plus Amazon offers a great warranty on the kids version. They sent me another one no questions asked when we had an issue.
Anonymous says
I’m hugely team “you get what you pay for” with the Fire. I really despise ours, and it never gets used. I’d try to pick up a used iPad or just bite the bullet on a new one.
Anonymous says
Yeah, it’s true the Fires have an annoying interface, but when all ii want is the ability to play an hour of videos for my toddler, I figure I can deal.
OP says
Thanks, all! The older version of the Fire is on back order, so we’d have to pay $130 for a new one (or two). I’m leaning toward just using our phones and if it’s awful we can order a Fire or two for the trip home.
Pogo says
I would probably use the phones in this situation, but DH and I each have work phones so we can easily give one to kiddo without sacrificing our own device.
That said, sorry your old iPad died! I did the same tactic for a recent flight, and my iPad was from 2010 and it still worked! It won’t go past a certain OS which will eventually be a problem when apps stop supporting it, but it runs fine.
Anonymous says
We only had a laptop for years and it was fine.
EB0220 says
I would get an inexpensive Kindle Fire kids version. We only use them on trips and they’ve lasted for years.
nanny bday says
What do you do for your nanny’s birthday? Possibly relevant details: has been with us 1.5 years, nanny share, young toddlers, generous time off & otherwise competitive comp. And she commutes on public transit so nothing too bulky.
Anonymous says
$100 and a card “from” my kid.
GCA says
Gift card and a cute card, like daycare teacher holiday gifts?
IHeartBacon says
I give my nanny a paid day off on her birthday and I stay home with LO. If I couldn’t stay home, I’d give her a card and $150.
anon says
Cash and a card.
Anon says
It’s our first year with a nanny and she had only been with us for about 3 months when it was her birthday (though we love her!). We did a card with a $50 gift certificate to one of her favorite stores and I bought donuts from one of her favorite local bakeries to surprise her with for breakfast. We will probably give a larger gift next year when she’s been with us longer, but this felt appropriate for this amount of time.
nanny bday says
She usually eats bagels for breakfast, I think, so maybe we could pick up good bagels & cream cheese for her and the kids. I hesitate with junk food since she does not always seem that interested, but this breakfast idea is great.
First Vacay w/ Baby says
We’re headed to Ft Lauderdale bright and early tomorrow from the northeast. I have a 10.5 month old. This is her third flight due to out of town in laws so we have that part down. But, is there anything critical this first-time mom wouldn’t think to put in her suitcase for the beach/pool/resort portion of the trip?
We will use beach towels provided by the hotel. I’m bringing a few toys and books. For food and supplies, our plan is to pack enough for the airport and flights + some cushion, and then hit the local Publix as soon as we get settled at the hotel (5 min Uber from hotel) to grab the bulky things – diapers, sunscreen, wipes, snacks for baby. Anything I’m not thinking of? TIA!
Anonymous says
A hat.
rosie says
Swim diapers? Make sure you have sun shirt/cover up for yourself. Hats for all. More clothes than you need for baby if you’re going to be spending time on the beach — let’s put our toes in the sand inevitably requires a change of at least pants for mine. Have fun!
Pogo says
+1 on swim diapers. I’ve always used reuseable because the smallest pack of disposable always seems like too many – so, I pack my own.
rosie says
Yeah, or if you use disposable buy some at home so you can only bring what you need.
Anon says
YMMV, but I usually just take diapers, wipes, sunscreen, snacks, etc. in a checked suitcase. Even if you have to pay $25 each way to check it, it’s worth it to me to avoid the grocery store. But I find going grocery shopping very un-relaxing and want to avoid it as much as possible on vacation. If you’re flying with two adults and one baby, a checked suitcase is really no big deal.
anon says
I usually order things like diapers, wipes, pouches via Amazon and have them delivered to the hotel/Airbnb so they are there when we arrive. It’s less hectic, and nice not to spend the first moments of your vacation frantically shopping for diapers because you went through more than you expected on the flight…
anon says
thread jacking a bit but related – what do you need to take babies swimming outdoors? we live in a warm climate and hope to take our almost 1 year old twins swimming this summer in the pool. are they too old for those little floats with the canopies? swim diaper recs? this might be a dumb question, but do you use a swim diaper instead of a regular diaper or in addition to?
rosie says
Just swim diaper. They don’t absorb liquid (so pee will go through) but are meant to hold in poop. The regular diaper will swell up a lot with all the water. If you are going to a pool, check the rules on swim diapers — our Y requires disposable + reusable (not that anyone’s ever checked). In that scenario we do disposable + iPlay pull-on diaper from Target. I prefer the disposable at the beach because it seems like it is a tighter fit to keep the sand out.
rosie says
Also at 1 we just held our kid in the pool. If you want flotation, I would get a < 30 lb life jacket (assuming they are < 30 lb). We did a swim class I didn't enjoy, you could probably find some tips for activities to do with them in the water on youtube. If you have the space for an inflatable pool (you can get w/a sunshade), that might be fun, too.
Aly says
If you plan on swimming a bunch, a cloth swim diaper is gold. There is nothing worse than packing up a swim bag and realizing you are out of swim diapers!
Pogo says
Posted above, I always use a reuseable swim diaper (though we’re a mostly cloth diaper household in general). I typically bring kiddos’ whole swim ensemble (swim diaper, rash guard, swimsuit, hat) in the beach bag and change him into it under the tent once we set up camp. I wear him from the car to the beach in an Ergo so he can’t get all sandy/wet before I tackle him and do the change (plus, I have two free hands to help with the tent assembly etc). Otherwise, even if you put them in their swim gear before the beach you still have to change in to the swim diaper b/c of aforementioned pee leakage – you can’t put a kid in a swim diaper in the car.
We only go to a pool that has a dedicated kiddie pool that’s like, 6″ deep, so we never used flotation. I just get in the pool with him and follow him around.
Anonymous says
If you’ll be on the beach, I recommend a blow-up pool to contain the kid and keep sand consumption down. We got the Aqua Leisure 48-inch popup pool on AMZ and it was great – it’s kind of fabric-y not plain plastic so it didn’t feel too hot or melt in the sun and it was big enough to let my 10-18 month-old enjoy the beach but also contained her (she didn’t walk till close to 18 months). We gave her some sand, shovels and spoons, and a tiny bucket with water and she had a blast.
anon says
This sounds like a “know your nanny” situation, but $100 sounds right. Ours had a Pandora bracelet that she was working on filling, so we gave her a charm “from” our kids (with return receipt) plus a Starbucks card.
nanny bday says
I was kind of thinking a cashmere/silk scarf from Nordstrom (that price range, can return obvs) w/card that kid scribbles on.
anon says
I usually say cash, but also think this sounds nice with two huge caveats: do you think your nanny (1) can easily get to a Nordstrom (has a car or whatnot), and (2) would feel comfortable in one, not to mention returning something? If either answer is maybe or no, stick to cash.
nanny bday says
Yeah, I was thinking this through as well. I think she could get to Nordstrom & I think the answer to #2 is yes as well, but maybe Macy’s would be better?
anon says
I think it’s totally a know-your-nanny and know-your-retail-market question. If I were your nanny (and I have been one, though not as a full-time, primary career) I would far prefer Nordstrom. I don’t know the last time I set foot in a Macy’s and know the ease of the Nordstrom return policy (and that I could find something else I like there)–but your nanny could easily fall elsewhere on that spectrum. Sorry, I think it’s really a close call. If you’re feeling torn, I would do a sizable cash gift and a nice but less expensive physical gift. I have definitely felt like employers are out-of-touch when they give me a very nice physical gift over a cash gift.
AnotherAnon says
This will probably be an unpopular comment but I read (skimmed) Oh Crap this weekend and didn’t find it helpful. I can get over the condescending tone, but the part about night training 20 month olds drove me batty. And she didn’t seem to actually have any concrete suggestions for how to potty train. It just felt like a rant about everything parents are doing wrong, without suggestions for what to do instead. It’s recommended so much here I must be missing something. What parts of it did you find helpful?
AwayEmily says
I was one of the people who recommended it and I totally agree on the tone AND on the night training part (like, seriously, you want me to wake my kid up in the middle of the night AND deny them any liquid for hours before their bedtime? NOT HAPPENING.).
I actually thought that the suggestions were super concrete, which is what I liked about it. My memory (and granted I read/did this almost a year ago!) was that it provided a pretty exact timeline, and even specific language (e.g. avoid saying “it’s okay,” and instead say firmly “pee goes in the potty”). I also thought she did a nice job of outlining potential problems you could have (and lord knows we had a lot of them) and giving specific ways to address them.
ElisaR says
agreed. (I am having flash backs to yelling at my husband “stop saying it’s okay! it’s not okay!”). I used the words she recommended….. (more flashbacks to me telling husband “don’t ASK him if he has to go, tell him he is going to go before we leave!”) I had him go commando for a month which was pretty concrete. It gave me confidence that this could be done (it was hard — my husband wanted to quit and say it didn’t work but since I read the book I made us keep at it).
Tone of the book was totally irritating.
ElisaR says
we are still not night trained for what its worth…..
Emily S. says
I didn’t like it either, but I did like Potty Training in3 Days by Brandi Brucks. It’s a similar philosophy but I preferred the language and simplicity (it’s 103 pages with lots of colorful illustration and concise takeaways). Whatever you choose, good luck!
Aly says
haha I read it too and was okay with it, but didn’t find it the panacea that others have. The denying liquids before bed made me laugh. Like, no thanks. So my kid was day time potty trained before her second birthday (woot) and we put her in a diaper for naps + night time. And we still do (she’s 2.5). This totally reasonable to me. I liked Diaper free before 3 as well.
bathroom stool recs? says
Does anyone have a stool you really like for a toddler to get up the big toilet by themselves? My 3 yo only wants to use the regular toilet, not a potty chair, and I get a little worried about him getting up there by himself. I see a few on Ama**n, etc., but none of the reviews are great. He already has a regular 2-step stool for the bathroom sink, but it doesn’t seem stable enough for him to get up on the toilet seat, turn himself around, etc. TIA!
AwayEmily says
ours is from amazon, is by “california home goods,” and is called the “child step stool” (we got a 2-pack for about 30 dollars). It’s been fine. It works, the kid can get up and turn around on it, and it isn’t horrifically ugly.
PinkKeyboard says
My husband sunk a robe hook into a stud by the toilet as a handle bar to aid in executing the climb/turn maneuver. I also recommend the toilet seat that has a built in kids seat that comes down just like the adult seat, much more secure than none or when there is one of those placed on toppers.
anne-on says
For a stool only we use the baby bjorn one. Our child’s bathroom is small enough that the vanity serves as the ‘grab bar’ for the turn around maneuver. Otherwise, I’d also install a grab bar if you have the space.
bathroom stool recs? says
Thanks, everyone!
Anon says
Squatty potty (or similar name?) sold at the hardware store for adults who want to squat while pooping. Makes for a good kid step stool for the toilet.
Sleep Help says
I am in the early stages of pregnancy with child #3. My older daughter, who is 4.5 y.o., has recently started getting out of bed in the middle of the night, waking me up, and asking to be tucked in. I think this started when we night-trained her a few months back, because she liked the dream pees (she fully woke up for them and liked having alone time with me for all of two minutes…); now that she has moved past those, she is claiming additional alone time at night via middle-of-the-night wakings. Last night, this happened at 12:45 am, 5:15 am, and again at 6 am. I generally have trouble sleeping, and especially getting back to sleep once awakened, and her interruptions are costing me like 90 minutes of sleep per night at a time when I need all the sleep I can get…plus, I am not getting to the gym in the early a.m…plus I get furious, and it takes a while to subside.
The things we have tried, all of which have been unsuccessful so far are: (i) guilting/yelling, (ii) coupon for 1 short YouTube video, good every morning if she hasn’t woken us up overnight, and (iii) rational conversation during the day about the importance of sleep (she responds during the day to each of these, but then at night reverts to wakeups).
She shares a room with her little sister, who also wakes up for a number of these incidents but is confined to a crib and therefore gets upset at her relative confinement compared to her sister’s.
Co-sleeping will not work for me and my husband, or for #2. I don’t want to invite #1 to sleep on the floor because of #2 and also because it will make it harder for me to sneak out to the gym before the kids get up. Do you have any advice for a very tired and angry mom re: keeping the kids in their beds? Thanks.
ifiknew says
I’m surprised no one has responded to this yet. Post again in the morning? Maybe it didn’t go through early enough. SO MANY HUGS. That sounds awful. I’m pregnant with #2 and have a 21 month old and she was waking up 3x night for a LONG time. We’re currently in a good stretch but who knows when it’ll end.
Pogo says
I think this was stuck in mod. I have no advice but I am SO SORRY. This sounds awful.
Anonymous says
I’d ask husband to handle it for a few nights and see what happens. If her goal is to spend time with you and she isn’t getting that, she might stop. Tell her to wake him up or when she comes in, wake him up and have him take her back to bed. At the very least, if this continues, you need to find a way to split nighttime duty.
Anon says
+1 to husband. You are pregnant and should not have to wake up in the night unless it is an emergency. I’m going through this now with my 3.5 yr old and it seems to be a phase that recurs every six months or so.
anon says
the fact that you make it to the gym in the morning while pregnant with #3 and working is beyond impressive! i’m assuming there aren’t, but is there any option to separate your two daughters? other ideas: is there any way to provide your oldest with some extra one on one time before bed? do you do bedtime at the same time as your younger one, or can she have some special “big girl” bedtime moments? this might be an insane recommendation, and a total know your kid thing – but what if you woke her at 10pm to tell her you loved her, say good night and tuck her back in again? same thing as the dream pee without the peeing part? i had a friend who used a different coupon system with her daughter – she started i think with 2 coupons per night (their wake ups were more frequent than yours) and after the coupons were used up their daughter was not allowed into their room. sometimes this resulted in daughter sitting outside their door banging/crying. on the nights she didn’t use up any of her coupons she got a sticker for an award chart and then some kind of prize
Anonymous says
Honestly we just tucked in with a minimum of interaction. It was a phase for us and eventually passed. Not that helpful I’m sure!
Anon says
Can you sneak in to give her a goodnight kiss and a two-minute cuddle before you go to sleep yourself?
If that doesn’t work, I’d pull the bandaid off and refuse to tuck her in overnight. I had to do that with my older kid. I check on her and she gets an, “I love you, but that’s not something that mommy does in the middle of the night.” It’s mostly worked.
PinkKeyboard says
I get up for work at 4am and before I leave at 4:45 I go in and give my oldest (3.5) a kiss and hug and tuck her back in. She goes right back to sleep. Could you do something like this? YOu will come give her kisses and hugs by in the early am if she leaves you be. Then tbh I’d lock my bedroom door and get earplugs, but I’m also pretty mean.
Pogo says
Just wanted to say a thank you to this community for all the recs/help in general. I had a week of parenting solo while husband was in Europe and I surprised myself with how smoothly it went – I used so many suggestions that have been discussed here (Nope to baking stuff to bring in for holidays, just buy it; throw money at things; wfh/call in to meetings if you have to; prep food on the weekend and eat leftovers). Nothing earth shattering but I think reading here helps me reinforce the idea that it is OK to use these shortcuts when you’re working full time and caring for a tiny human.
You’re all killing it, ladies.
Cate says
Love this! And Congrats!
ifiknew says
We have an amazing next door neighbor with kids in late elementary / middle school. They’re moving to a new house and over the past few months, we’ve gotten a steady supply of toys and books for our toddler. They’re terrific toys and books and she’s been really enjoying them. THey also got her a brand new board book for christmas, small gesture but still really nice. I baked them a plate of brownies as a thank you the first time, but they’ve since dropped off stuff 5+ times and I don’t know what to give them as a thank you.
They are moving to their new house in August, so maybe a housewarming gift? If so, what would that be? I also thought about something for the kids, but I have no idea what their elementary and middle school kids enjoy and don’t want to contribute to clutter. Any thoughts are greatly appreciated!!
EB0220 says
Maybe a gift card to a restaurant in their new neighborhood? Honestly I think you are doing them a favor by taking their stuff so I wouldn’t worry about it too much!
avocado says
You are definitely doing them a favor by taking their stuff! The brownies are perfect. Your neighbors probably don’t want any more things that they’ll have to move.
Anon says
I’m not sure I agree that taking someone’s stuff is a favor. They can dump it at Goodwill just as easily. Of course they probably enjoy giving it to someone they know, but just because someone enjoys the act of gift-giving doesn’t make the thing they’re giving any less of a gift (otherwise we would never have to write thank you notes to all the relatives who love showering our kids with presents). I think doing something to thank them for their generosity is appropriate.
avocado says
We recently gave away a ton of kid stuff, including some larger items, and I was definitely grateful to the person who carted it away so I didn’t have to haul it to the Goodwill.
avocado says
Adding: Over the years I’ve given several nice items my daughter outgrew to a woman at work whose kids are slightly younger. Once in a while she will randomly tell me, “we used the thingamabob you gave us this weekend!”, and whenever she sees my daughter she tells her how much fun her kids are having with the stuff. That is really the best thank-you of all.
rosie says
Lowe’s or HD gift card is always nice when getting settled in a new place. Or maybe a gift card for food delivery that they can use either while they’re packing at the old place or getting settled in the new place.
Anon says
+1 to Lowe’s gift card, this is the best housewarming gift.
Anonymous says
Yes, this is a great idea.
lawsuited says
What scooter/trike-type product can people recommend for a 2 year old? He’s been walking since 11 months and has good gross motor skills and balance but I think a push car will be too boring and a true scooter will be too tricky.
AwayEmily says
My fairly uncoordinated daughter got a Micro Mini for her second birthday at the end of last March, and by summer (May/June) she was happily scooting around on it, so he might well be able to handle a scooter.
ElisaR says
+1 to the Micro Mini scooter – my almost 3 year old loves that thing!
GCA says
My son also had good gross motor skills and balance at that age. We got him a Radio Flyer EZ Glider (not the ‘My 1st Scooter’, which barely rolls) for his 2nd birthday and he was off like a rocket. I liked that it had 3 wheels and was therefore more stable than the Razor-type scooters. He’s approaching 4 and still uses it (and is alarmingly fast – definitely also get your kid a helmet!).
rosie says
Do a scooter, although don’t have particular brand recs. Mine is almost 2 & going to get one for her bday (either from us or family). We have a Radio Flyer trike we got secondhand, which she likes but cannot really reach the pedals well enough to figure out how to use it. She got a balance bike as a gift and is scared of it, it’s pretty heavy. I also like that the scooters (it seems) can be put in the stroller basket or more easily carried by a parent as needed, so we would actually be able to walk to a park and let her use it there.
Anonymous says
Micro Mini. The new version has height-adjustable handlebar so it goes from teeny-tiny to fairly tall and they are built like tanks. My big kids are still using theirs, which they got at age 2 and are now going on 7 years old (in fairly rough but still usable shape). I have to yell at them not use the 2-year-old’s new one because they are technically over the weight limit and the poor 3rd kid doesn’t really have much that is new for her.
Our neighborhood big kids (5th graders!) still prefer to use their Micro Minis over their big-kid Razor 2-wheelers.
Legally Brunette says
Extra petite has a very candid post today about her battle with PPD, thought I would alert others who may find it helpful.
anon says
thank you! i’m 10 months postpartum and i’m getting help and on meds, but still struggle sometimes and often feel like everyone is loving motherhood, finding it easy, etc. it’s nice to know its not just me
Anon says
Hi Ladies this is a vent/looking for advice. We just returned home from a week in Aruba where the 3 of us were sick the entire time. I went to work today and got sent home after being there for an hour b/c of not feeling well. My son is in daycare today. My mother in law has offered to pick him up and keep him for the night and she watches him on Tuesdays. I should accept this help right? I still feel like crap and my husband has the flu. I just can’t even think clearly now. TIA!!
Two Cents says
Yes, accept the help! So sorry that you’re sick (and in Aruba too, one of the most beautiful places). :(
EB0220 says
YES definitely.
Anonymous says
Girl, yes. Do it on behalf of all of us whose families live a plane ride or two away! Seriously, I feel like my illnesses would be so much shorter/ more bearable if only I could get a day and night totally off to just rest. I hope your night off is restorative!
anon says
Yes! Take the help!
IHeartBacon says
1000000000000% yes!
Anonymous says
Yup!! I’ve gotten sick after vacations before. I know it feels awful to take more time off but your coworkers don’t want to get what you have.
Lana Del Raygun says
You can’t think clearly because you are sick and need help! Please accept it :)
Third trimester costume says
Any recommendations for maternity costumes or silly pajamas or something along those lines? Am super pregnant and have a costume party to go to Friday. Ordered some pajamas to wear from ASOS that I thought would be fun but they are held up at customs??? Any suggestions? Could be casual or dressy – just need something that I can order that will get here!
rosie says
Miley Cyrus wrecking ball costume if you have a barbie, a suitable necklace, and a black maternity t-shirt?
Anonymous says
Farmer with overalls and a straw hat?
(As a Midwest ‘rette, I kind of hate myself for this recommendation, but it seems pretty feasible…)
Mrs. Jones says
Just be barefoot and pregnant.