This post may contain affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
I was in the market for a new eye cream and I stumbled upon this one while cruising the Target app.
This vitamin C eye cream depuffs and hydrates with caffeine and derm-favorite hyaluronic acid. Its lightweight texture absorbs quickly without any residue so you can apply your makeup right away.
Target has also designated it a “Clean” product, free of a series of chemicals that you might not want on your skin. On top of that, once you’re done, it’s easy to recycle the glass jar.
Pacifica’s Glow Baby Eye Bright Cream is $15.99 at Target.
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
Ifiknew says
I grew up in a family that didn’t do Christmas but we want to make Christmas traditions with our kids. Can you tell me what are some easy things to do to create traditions and make it feel festive for a 3.5 and 5.5 year old? TIA
Clementine says
Google ‘Breakfast with Santa’. We have local Rotary/Elks type clubs which throw these great events where for very little $$, you go and get a breakfast, the kids do a craft, and they sit on Santa’s lap. No waiting in a weird mall and nobody questions your 3 year old when they eat an ALARMING amount of bacon.
Put the kids in their pajamas. Get ready for bed. Then, scoop them up with hot chocolate and drive around local streets looking at lights. Refer to it as going ‘Ooo-ing and Aaahing’. Declare one house the ‘Winter Wonderland’ of the night.
Lots of Christmas music. Consider Lessons and Carols.
Pick a day and go ‘elfing’. Choose kind things to do to show kids charity. We like to bake a bunch of cookies and donate the cookies, a couple gallons of milk, and big bags of socks and underwear to our local homeless shelter. BIGGGG hit and shows the kids charity in a digestible fashion. We also bring muffins/donuts and coffee to our local Foster Care office and make a donation to the animal shelter. It’s a day about others.
AwayEmily says
Not the OP but these are such wonderful ideas — I feel like we kind of stalled out on Christmas during the pandemic but now that the kids are 6 and 4 (and, well, 0, but she doesn’t count) then it’s prime time for holiday magic. Thanks!
Clementine says
AwayEmily – my kiddos are currently barely 7, 2.5, and 5 months so – similar age range here. We also did a tree lighting, the Christmas train, and a trip to the local garden center that goes all out for Christmas – all of which were BIG hits.
I wanted to suggest to that people look for fireworks displays. Normally during the summer, fireworks are at like 9 (too late for my crew to hang), but in the winter? 5:30 fireworks which are GREAT for us.
GCA says
These are lovely ideas! We’ve made it an annual tradition to fill a thermos with hot chocolate and go looking for light displays, and found one house not too far away that goes all out – dancing penguins, music, the whole nine yards. Local town center does a Christmas tree lighting as well.
Once kids are old enough, I would add – look for a local dance school Nutcracker production. They’re usually much shorter and cheaper than the full staging, and are at family-friendly matinee times.
Anon says
Professional ballets may have a condensed version for little kids in addition to the full length version. My city does.
Vicky Austin says
The post-getting-ready-for-bed whisking away to go look at lights is so magical. My parents did that for us a few times. I love the idea of calling it “oohing and aahing!”
OP says
Very silly logistical question, do you let the kids drink hot chocolate while driving or walking? Wouldn’t they make a mess.. Mine are only 3.5 and 5.5 though, maybe we drink at home before going??
Anon says
If you put it in a water bottle or sippy cup it shouldn’t make a mess. Definitely don’t take an open cup.
Anonymous says
At home afterwards.
Anonymous says
We took our daughter to see the Nutcracker for the first time at age 3.5 and it was magical. The holiday light show at the local botanical garden is a big hit. +1 for Clementine’s suggestion of driving around to see Christmas lights, or depending on the neighborhood you might be able to walk.
If you are looking to celebrate the religious aspect of the holiday, nothing beats Christmas Eve candlelight services. Not the silly kids’ service with contemporary music and light sticks, but the traditional kind that starts with the organ stops set to “shake the pews” and the Willcocks descants (if you know, you know) and ends with the entire congregation singing Silent Night a cappella in the dark with candles. Many churches will offer these services at a reasonable time in the evening so you don’t have to keep the kids up until midnight.
Anon says
3 is super young for the Nutcracker! Mine went for the first time at 5 and still had a hard time sitting still.
Anon says
Mine went at 3! It was great for one, one enjoyed it but was sort of a pain, and for one it was very much a pain – but her sister was in it! It can work at 3 though! Very kid dependent!
Anonymous says
Whatever you do, do not allow that creepy shelf elf into your home. It sounds fun at first but you will soon regret having to come up with more and more elaborate scenes every single freaking night.
Cb says
My son was sobbing overnight because he heard a noise outside and thought it was the “creepy elf”. We don’t have one but classmates were talking about it. “What if santa brings us a creepy elf?” “We’ll drop it at the charity shop!”
Anon says
Yeah we noped right out of that one.
Vicky Austin says
Ha, my ILs are very Catholic and celebrate St. Nicholas’ day with intention. I’m already prepared to say, “we don’t have an elf because we have St. Nick!”
Mary Moo Cow says
Thank you! That solves my problem! I am a hard no on the Elf but struggle to explain why to my kids so that I don’t open the door to “Santa and therefore the Tooth Fairy are your parents doing all the work.”
anon says
We celebrate St. Nicholas Day! The kids put our their shoes and get a personalized ornament plus chocolate. It’s exciting and special and they love it.
CCLA says
See if there’s a “candy cane lane” or similar near you, bonus points if there is one with a pedestrian area (many are drive-through, which is also fun) – bring hot chocolate and walk around looking at the lights. We have a little countdown that they flip over every day. Decorate gingerbread houses (they make kits lots of places, or use graham crackers in lieu of gingerbread). Bake/decorate cookies. Oh and a big hit was getting them their own little trees…we are not super particular about having a fancy tree or anything and would happily let them adorn the big one, but I picked up a couple of 3-ft trees on a whim and they have become the kids’ own personal trees, which they LOVE decorating.
Anon says
+1 to the mini trees. My kids are older now, but they still insist on putting up “their” tree in their bedroom and decorating it.
We also adopt a family each year and go together to buy the presents. (Search your town name plus adopt a family to find one, or call your local Big Brothers Big Sisters group and ask if they know of one.) When the kids were younger, we phrased it as “You guys are so lucky to have lots of family to buy you gifts. Santa asked if we could help him spoil another family who doesn’t get as many gifts each year. Can we tell Santa yes? Look, this little boy wants a soccer ball. Let’s help get him a good one!” But even as surly teenagers now, they start asking at Halloween if we have our adopted family names yet, and they still happily help us wrap those presents.
Cb says
We get our tree from the tree farm and go all in on whimsical, homespun decorations (from my childhood, and increasingly from my son’s). We have a ritual way we add the angel, etc.
We also have an advent book “How Winston Came Home for Christmas” and a pile of Christmas books and like to read them by the Christmas tree.
Anon says
Hang outdoor lights! We’re Jewish and don’t celebrate Christmas but we love to walk/drive around the neighborhood and look at lights, and last year my then 4 year old begged and begged for lights at our house. We gave in this year and it’s brought her (and me too!) and absurd amount of joy. And it was surprisingly simple to do considering neither DH nor I had any experience with it.
Mary Moo Cow says
Mine are 7.5 and 5. Things we’ve done in the past few years are making lots of cookies and giving them away, watching Charlie Brown Christmas, going to see Santa at the same place, having Advent calendars, shopping for Jesse Tree/Angel Tree, and the Children’s Mass on Christmas Eve. To make it feel festive, I decorate inside and out: fun tree in the playroom, fun tree in the family room, grown-up tree in the entryway, holiday banners hung around the house, wreaths on all the doors, and I switch out the gallery wall photos for Christmas family photos. They also have special Christmas plates, cups, and silverware (PB Kids) — that’s a really simple one that feels festive. I also play all kinds of holiday music all the time. The Christmas dinner menu changes but I always make some kind of gingerbread cake.
My biggest tip to make it feel festive is to relax and try to enjoy it yourself. Playing music all the time and watching a Christmas movie are pretty easy and two of my favorite traditions.
Anon says
You would be a few days behind but advent calendars are a huge hit at our house. Nothing fancy, we do the one with chocolates from Trader Joe’s that I think Safeway has too.
I’m sure your kids wouldn’t mind eating enough to catch up for the missed 4 days. :)
Anon says
Here are my Christmas traditions, take as you like:
– starting Black Friday, christmas music is on all the time.
-Buy a (real) tree on Black Friday (usually from a local lot or Home Depot). Let branches fall on Saturday, decorate on Sunday.
– we do all the front bushes in lights that same weekend too and leave them up through epiphany (Jan. 6). It’s 20 strands over 20ish bushes, so very bright. I also do candles in the windows and a lighted wreath on the door.
– we watch the grinch (original cartoon version), rudolph, frosty and white christmas on weekends time permitting.
– don’t do much indoor decorating other than a small (15 inch) tinsel tree in her bedroom, the mantle with stockings and then I pull out the christmas plates and placemats and we use those through epiphany.
– DH decorates a gingerbread house with DD (we buy the pre-built ones because structural integrity is more stress than we need)
– we have a wooden advent calendar that I (or my mother) stuffs and fills (this year mostly with repurposed Halloween candy). MIL usually gets DD a lego or chocolate advent calendar as well, and she has a little countdown pillow she uses to mark the days too.
– some time the week or two before Christmas, I take one weekend and make cut out cookies with all the sprinkles and icing. Kitchen is a disaster, but we are building core memories and I just do it once this season.
– we take evening walks with flashlights to look at lights or drive around at night on our way home from errands after dark to see who else has lights up
– botanical garden has a winter light walking display. We try to go to that every year (half mile walking path) the week or two before christmas. Other options are drive through ones, but I prefer the walking ones.
– DH takes DD to see his local family and they do a celebration on the 23 or 24.
– christmas eve dinner is usually homemade lasagna. I like to try and make extra pans to freeze (or when neighbors have health issues, I’ll drop off a pan there too). Local family or friends sometimes join us, more often not.
– candlelight church service christmas eve. Ideally 11PM but sometimes we do earlier depending on sleep and nap schedules
– christmas morning is just us (DH, DD and me). I make overnight cinnamon rolls the night before that rise in the fridge and bake in the morning and we get to eat after we open presents. Christmas dinner is also just us and I usually do a redux of Thanksgiving.
– we celebrate with my semi-local (2-3 hour drive) family over new years
Lizard says
Christmas books: we have a decorative box about one by one by two feet that has a cute Christmas pattern and we keep it full of age-appropriate Christmas books. It sits at the base of the Christmas tree and the kids can pull out Christmas books to have as bedtime stories or to enjoy on their own all throughout the Christmas season. It’s fun revisiting their old favorite stories over the years and adding to the collection a few at a time.
I also keep “baking Christmas cookies” super simple by using the premade store-bought sugar cookie dough cut in round shapes. Bake those quickly then let the kids decorate with a variety of colored icings and sprinkles. Store-bought gingerbread house kits are also a fun easy way to do that particular tradition/activity.
We of course put out cookies and milk for Santa – again, store bought cookies are fine here. Carrots for the reindeer are also a fun touch.
We tend to go to a “Santa brunch” if there’s one put on by a local restaurant or a club we’re part of. Tons of holiday cheer, but all we have to do is make a reservation, pay, and show up.
We’ve done drive-through lights and zoo lights, but those tend to be a lot more hassle than they’re worth, especially for the ages your kids are. YMMV, but we constantly had to tell our kids, “Look, look at XYZ light!” If they’re having to be prompted the entire time, that’s probably a sign they don’t care that much, ha.
Anonymous says
I have similar age kids. My husband and I both LOVE christmas and are not religious at all. Here are some of the things we do:
– Advent calendar- trader joe’s sells chocolate ones for $2 that my kids love. Also a “decorate a christmas tree” one
-All the Christmas and seasonal books- your library probably has a bunch you can check out.
– This weekend we made lots of treats, put them in treat bags, and then delivered them to neighbors along with our family Christmas card. I like this one because it’s basically the opposite of Halloween. My kids love it too- they wear a santa and elf hat and make lots of hilarious conversation with our neighbors. Reinforces neighborly relationships as well.
– Christmas movies and music. My kids love the 40s stop action rudolph movie, also the original animated grinch. Disney has a bunch of Christmas shorts too with Frozen, beauty and the beast, etc.
– Picking out presents- we took them to a local shop and had them rotate picking out presents for sibling and parents.
– Nearby light shows and installations, then drinking hot chocolate.
Have fun! I love this time of year.
Anon says
Suggestions for ipad games that don’t require internet for 5/6yos? They love Lalilo and Dreambox on their school ipads, but I’m looking for something we could pull out on a transAtlantic flight over Christmas after they inevitably get bored of reading and drawing. Both educational or just random fun games are great, but they’re likely to be more into drawing or world-building sorts of things than the typical video game type where speed/dexterity matters.
An.On. says
I like Monument Valley 1 & 2 and there’s a similar one called Evo Explores, that are basically MCEscher – perspective puzzle games, point and click solving. No way to die/lose, no time limit, and the visuals and music are very calming and beautiful, minimal text. And I haven’t played the app version, but would the Machinery-Physics Puzzle game work? It looks like a mobile version of Fantastic Contraption.
Anon says
Is there a reason you don’t want to do TV and movies? They tend to require less adult involvement then games, which is important on a long flight.
OP says
Oh, that’s also part of the plan! And we’ve gotten by with just tv shows on flights of <6 hours, but my kids get bored and fidgity after watching more than an hour or so of tv, so I was thinking games would be something more interactive they could do.
Is it crazy to think there are games a 5yo can do without adult involvement? For things like Dreambox they just get out their school ipad and load the app all on their own and never ask for help with the levels.
Anon says
Probably depends on the kid? Mine is a young 5 and we haven’t done a ton of games but the ones we’ve tried devolve into frustration and need for adult assistance pretty quickly. My kid can zone out to TV/movies for 12+ hours on long road trips or plane flights and is now pretty decent at finding things on her tablet and the airplane seatback screen so it doesn’t usually require much involvement from us. Ymmv.
Anon says
I think it’s reasonable to think there are games a 5 yo can do without adult involvement. This might almost be too young of a game, but for example, my 5 yo could do ABC mouse without our help. I just don’t know if that needs wifi.
Maybe just have them get some time to do whatever you find before the trip if you want the plane ride to be more seamless.
Anonymous says
You may be surprised how long they can watch movies. We were flying back from Europe and my 7 year old watched every second of tv allowed. Flight was landing at bedtime for home, so he was allowed way more. He loved it and I appreciated it when he recovered quickly from jet lag.
Anon says
I think this is fairly kid-dependent though. For my ADHD 7 year old, sometimes she can hyperfocus and watch tv for hours and sometimes she can’t sit through one 25 minute episode.
Anon says
Monkey Preschool games are good. Letter School is fairly educational and easier to do on an ipad than a phone.
And hear me out, Minecraft is a great world-building game for that age. If you set it to Creative mode, they can build whatever their heart can imagine even without wifi. My now-7 year old has loved the game for several years now, and has an elaborate village with a ton of houses that he has built and giant towers and barns for animals. He’ll happily spend an hour playing it without needing any input other than “Mom! Look at this cool new bedroom I just made!”
govtattymom says
PBS Kids! Most of the games automatically download so they are available without Wifi. My 6 yo daughter spent a bunch of time playing PBS kids on a flight we took a few weeks ago. Have a great trip!
SC says
My 7 year old likes Monument Valley and Pettson’s Inventions. When he was 5/6, he loved some of the PBS Kids games–his favorite was Ready Set Grow, which is a mini farming game. He also loves the app Happy Color, which is a color-by-number on the screen.
DLC says
My kids like just taking pictures as well as playing with drawing programs like Linea sketch.
Bette says
We are going out of town and leaving our toddler with a nanny this weekend. Have never done overnights with anyone other than grandparents. Any tips for making this as positive an experience as possible for all involved? Have prepped kiddo a lot and he seems ok with it, if a little apprehensive. This woman was his nanny for eight months so they know each other really well and she’s familiar with our house, routine, etc. We’ll leave written instructions/reference guide, install a car seat in her car, stock house with groceries, leave some petty cash… what else? When you’ve done this, do you prep full dinners beforehand? Anything we can do to make this emotionally easier on the little one? Thank you!
Anon says
How much are you paying? I’m assuming a lot and therefore would not prep meals. If his preferences for food have changed since she was his nanny, maybe a list of what will be easy wins and any weird notes about them, but that’s about it.
Basically i would make it as easy as possible for them but also not do SO much extra, not necessary prep work that it starts to make your own trip not seem fun or worth it, which for me meal prep would start to veer into.
Anonymous says
I would pre-shop for groceries and leave instructions for dinner, but don’t meal prep. It’s a toddler, I’m sure he’s eating pasta and broccoli and floor grapes for dinner anyway :).
Anonymous says
You’re already doing plenty. I never meal prep: the entire reason I’m having the nanny come on a weekend is I’m at my wit’s end and trying to get a break. Meal prep would only make me more stressed. I make sure Mac n cheese, corn dogs, chicken nuggets and ketchup are on hand. With one kid, seems like they could even eat out a couple times if she wanted to make it an outing. To make it easier on your kid: leave very soon after she arrives, say a firm, warm goodbye and let him know exactly what time you’ll be home (and make sure you’re home then). It will be great!
Anon says
I leave a fridge full of groceries, membership cards for places like the zoo, and a visa gift card for the zoo.
Let yourself have a break!
Bette says
Thank you all for giving me permission to not prep full meals! You’re right, that would take this from “relaxing time away” into “stressful prep” territory. We are paying her quite well and she was always responsible for food prep while nannying so this should not be any different.
As far as the handoff goes, we are taking him to daycare Friday morning and that’s when we will say goodbye, she will pick him up Friday evening and then we will be home shortly after his nap on Sunday. I’m hoping the school day will ease any goodbye/handoff sadness.
Pogo says
What is best way to handle “scary dreams” from a 5yo? He’s been insisting they are happening every night and climbing into our bed. He’ll go back in his room eventually, but it is disturbing everyone’s sleep.
I recall someone here suggesting a sleeping bag on the ground, so they can come and be close without waking you up. Any other ideas? I struggled with nightmares as a child so I want to be supportive and not question him, but every night is getting to be tough.
Cb says
T has night terrors and they seem cyclical – tied to growth spurt, being overtired, etc. Sometimes he’ll wake up screaming and he goes to the loo and settles again, it’s like he can’t quite force himself to wake up.
Anon says
Sleeping bag on the floor. If he’s reading, maybe leaving him a flashlight and books he can read? I also wonder if having a special stuffy and an extra night light he can turn on would help him resettle.
For me, the fastest way to resettle is with physical touch, which thankfully DH sleeps through if I cuddle up to him, so just warning that may be what he is looking for.
Mary Moo Cow says
Ugh, we’ve been going through this with my 7.5 year old for a year and now it is sometimes affecting my 5 year old. Talking through the dream during the daytime? (Doesn’t work for my oldest but does for my youngest.) Letting them sleep in our bed but carrying them back to bed if they squirm or kick too much is DH’s preference; I would like to try the sleeping bag method. Is it external stimuli? We had to restrict watching certain TV shows and that helped for a long stretch. The only thing that 100% works for my oldest is having her little sister sleep in her room. We don’t know if she wakes up and is comforted by sister so she stays put or her body just relaxes so she doesn’t stress when she’s sleeping.
Pogo says
Good point on TV, he’s not watching anything objectively scary but maybe just too stimulating. He didn’t have video within hours of bedtime yesterday, though.
I’m hesitant to talk it through because he always says he doesn’t remember, and the last thing I want to do is start leading the witness and saying “was it about dinos? monsters?” etc.
No Face says
My 3 year old had the same issue and it’s much better:
– cut way back on screen time. No more TV after school in the house except for Friday movie night as a family
– big snack right before bed
– giant flashlight her bed
anon says
Please talk me off the ledge and advise me on what to do. For the last 9ish months, almost 3 year old has developed terrible sleep. We sleep trained him at 6 months and he slept very well (7-6:15). He then began waking up at night, sometimes 2 or three times, and then consistently waking between 4:45am-5:30am and screaming until we go in his room. Every single day. We could maybe deal with the early waking if he wasn’t also waking in the middle of the night. We’ve tried bribes, we have an ok to wake clock, we’ve tried melatonin (which has helped significantly with getting him to sleep in the first place), but nothing is helping with the nightly and early waking. We’ve tried laying in the room or having him in our room but that just riles him up and eliminates any possibility of anyone going back to sleep. He’s in a toddler bed and generally stays in it, just screams for us to come get him and if we don’t go in, then he does come in our room. What do we do? This is placing a big strain on our family. We are tired all the time, whenever one of us is sick (which is often because we have a toddler!) it takes forever to recover because we never get a good night’s sleep, we are cranky and short tempered which impacts the rest of our family dynamic. Pediatrician suggested “locking” him in his room and just letting him cry. This sounds terrible to me–a million times worse than sleep training an infant–but we don’t know what else to do. Anyone else dealt with a situation like this? Are we just doomed until he maybe one day out grows it?
Anon says
This probably goes against a lot of parenting theories but…for our just turned 3 year old. We threaten to take away privileges if she doesn’t go to bed on time or doesn’t stay in her room until her Ok to Wake light goes on.
Ex. She’s obsessed with making Ovaltine chocolate milk in the morning. She loses that privilege if she doesn’t try to sleep till her light terns green. Big part of it is sticking with it. We also have taken away cartoons for the next day, or certain toys if she’s not getting the idea.
I know it makes very little sense because the consequence is not very on-par with the problem. But it’s what’s worked for us to this point.
I’d also keep in mind what kiddo is eating and drinking. Also with amount of physical activity. If our kid has sweets after dinner, she’ll have a bad night of sleep. Same goes for not getting in some running or outside time over the course of the afternoon/evening.
OP says
Yeah, bribes work like one time and then lose their power. We do have trouble getting him to eat a full dinner sometimes but other than force feed him I’m not sure how to fix that. :(
SC says
If you think he’s hungry when he goes to bed, we often give our kid a small mug of warm milk flavored with vanilla right before brushing teeth.
Anon says
We also gave milk during overnight wakings. My 3.5 year olds just went through a phase where they woke up for milk once a night for about 3 months, and then eventually just stopped. It was a total low key affair – I just walked in, handed them a cup, then left.
Anon says
Mine was like this – not so much with the night waking but with the getting up for the day pre-5 a.m. We tried all kinds of things (short of locking him in his room which I would not personally be able to do, no judgment). One piec eof advice I got is it could be hunger/low blood sugar, and offering a snack or a spoonful of peanut butter before bed. Didn’t help me but maybe will help you? He outgrew it when he stopped napping at 4, if that’s helpful? He’s still a morning bird but consistently like 6:30. Those two years of my life are just like…a total fog like I have very limited memories from that time.
otherwise solidarity :(
anon says
We’ve been there and it’s awful. Is he showing any other “symptoms” of any sort? E.g., persisent nightmares or night terrors, sleep walking, sleep talking, teeth grinding, hyperactivity or behavior problems during the day, very restless during sleep, or anything else? My younger kid had those plus the hours to fall asleep + waking multiple times during the night + very early waking for the day and ended up having sleep apnea. She still wakes up around 5:15 every day at almost 5, but addressing the apnea was life changing for all of us. My older kid was also just colicky and a terrible sleeper from birth, but eventually outgrew the bad sleep.
Anonymous says
Not OP but would you mind sharing how you got your sleep apnea diagnosis? I have a 22 month old who’s on day 37 of 4+ hour night wakings. He’s also becoming really hyper/frenetic during the day. I’m almost positive it’s sleep apnea. We’re going to see the ENT later this week but I want this resolved ASAP. This morning my husband suggested a night nanny. That’s how desperate we are.
OP says
He is very hyper during the day but I chalked that up to typical toddler behavior. How does sleep apnea get diagnosed and did you ask for it or did the ped suggest it?
anon at 10:48 says
After we tried alllll the possible tricks (ok to wake clock, sticker charts, weighted blanket, white noise, light machine thing she knows how to turn back on herself, making middle of the night wakings as boring as possible, months-long phases of just letting her into our bed in the middle of the night and then leaving pillow/blanket on the floor beside our bed to try to maximize sleep for everyone, everything else you can think of) I found a pediatric sleep medicine specialist who ordered a sleep study that diagnosed the sleep apnea. So he referred us to an ENT, as usually sleep apnea in kids is caused by enlarged tonsils and/or adenoids. The ENT said hers were only moderate though, so surgery wasn’t clearly indicated at that time. We already knew she had a lot of allergies and had been (still are) doing shots + various medicines for those, and sleep specialist is also a pulmonologist, who then did lung function testing and diagnosed her with asthma as well. Apparently apnea can also be caused by allergies/asthma. So we added other medicines to the line-up, and added melatonin for the initial getting to sleep hurdle, and did another sleep study, which showed no improvement in the apnea. So at that point ENT recommended surgery, as he said some studies have shown that even if the tonsils/adenoids don’t appear enlarged when awake/at rest, sometimes, particularly with the asthma/allergies situation, they can get enlarged or collapse and restrict the airway at night more than you’d expect. So we did the surgery, and as we were warned, things got much worse for 6-8 weeks following surgery, but then drastically improved. Her third (and hopefully final) sleep study a couple of months ago showed the apnea has now resolved. Like I said, she’s still an early riser, and we’re currently working on shifting her ok to wake clock to 5:25, but unsuccessfully so far. But at least that’s more manageable without the multiple middle of the night wakings! It took so so long, and so much time and work on my part to get us here though.
Anon says
so we had something similar with my 4 year old shortly after she had covid. where she was waking up 3-5 times a night and would sit up screaming. she shares a room with her twin so as i’m sure you can imagine this resulted in a lack of sleep for everyone. i finally got her to at least get up and walk to our room and then i walked her back. and for every night she didnt scream we gave her a mini marshmallow in the morning (i dont usually like bribes, but i was desperate), and then from there we told her it is fine for her to come and sleep on the floor in our room. we also had an issue where she was doing #2 in her diaper at like 5am and then wouldn’t go back to sleep. sleep issues are the absolute worst!
Ifiknew says
We did get the chiclproof covers so he couksnt run out. Our friends also reversed the doorknob and put the lock on the outside. It sounds terrible but I justify it as good sleep makes me a happier and better and more loving parent during the day and these are the boundaries. You can do periodic checks and repeat the same things, I love you but it’s time to sleep. Here are some things to do if you aren’t tired and you have to wait for your OK to wake clock. It’s worked wonders for our 3.5 year old.
OP says
Was he potty trained? What did you do if he had to go to the potty? Ours is day trained but wears a diaper at night. One of the reasons he calls us in the morning is because he has to go potty and refuses to intentionally do it in his diaper. Not sure how to handle that. His room is connected to the bathroom which also connects to his sisters room and I can imagine him running through there to her room if he gets mad enough!
Anonymous says
You need to get up with him and take him to the potty. Of course he doesn’t want to owe in his diaper on purpose if he is potty trained.
OP says
Well, yeah, that’s what we do currently! But I don’t know how we’d handle that if we “lock” him in. He still may need to go potty and would quickly figure out that was a sure way to get us to “let him out.”
Anonymous says
Or try taking for a dream pee when you go to bed, which stopped the early am bathroom trips for us.
anon says
What about switching to pull-ups and putting a portable potty in his room? You’ll have to dump it in the morning, but it gives him the ability to get up and go pee without leaving his room or needing your help.
Anonymous says
Issue for my kids was that they didn’t wake up enough to realize they had to go – like they were awake but not awake enough to connect the dots to pee. Dream pee when we went to bed helped. We staggered our bedtimes for a while – I went to bed at 1am and did the dream pee and DH got up at 6am with them and I slept to 7:30. Walked it back to – 12am then 11 am dream pee over a couple months.
Mary Moo Cow says
We did childproof door knob covers on the inside when our oldest was about 2.5/3 and it was terrible for a few nights and then it wasn’t. It only took two nights and then she gave up… for a few weeks, and then she learned how to pop off the covers, but that, too, was only a terrible week. After a week of being walked back to bed, silently, with no concession to her demands and whines, she gave up. And was a fantastic sleeper until nightmares hit at 6.5, sigh.
Anon says
Is he still napping? Maybe you want to play around with shortening/dropping that
Anonymous says
Yes! My first thought was try eliminating nap if there is any nap happening. By 3, both of mine couldn’t sleep if they had even a 20 min nap.
OP says
Tried it, didn’t help. We also pushed his bedtime back to 7:30pm, didn’t help either.
NYCer says
How long did you try no naps for? It took our daughter quite a while to adjust when we dropped naps. If it was only for a few days or one week, you might consider trying again.
OP says
This is a good point, will try. Thanks!
Anon says
We didn’t have the middle of the night wakings but when our diabetes started suddenly waking very early around age 3.5 the solution was pushing back bedtime. It wasn’t 1:1, pushing bedtime back and hour resulted in 2-3 more hours of sleep in the morning. We also got an ok to wake clock but I think it didn’t help as much as the bedtime change.
Anon says
Daughter! Omg what an autocorrect
Anonymous says
Is it night terrors? He’s not waking you up for fun. Can he say what is wrong when he wakes up? Set a schedule with your DH and take turns getting up – whose ever night it is to be off can sleep with ear plugs and an eye mask. Comfort him for 10-15 minutes and resettle him in his bed.
When one of my kids was waking like this – he couldn’t articulate it but if I put him on the toilet he would owe and then sleep again. If he doesn’t owe at the first waking that would explain the multiple wakings.
AwayEmily says
Lots of good suggestions here. I don’t really have any to add. I have one kid who is prone to wakeups and we have tried many of the things on this list and had some success.
But I also wanted to say that I’m thinking of you and I’m sorry. It’s REALLY REALLY hard on everyone to not be getting enough sleep. You will figure this out eventually. Your kid is lucky to have parents who care so much about making sure he gets the sleep he needs.
OP says
Thank you, AwayEmily, for your always kind replies. It’s impacting him too, of course, and I want him to experience a good night sleep as much as I want that for myself!
Anon says
Talk to me about those bounce/trampoline places. A friend’s son broke his leg at one as a preschooler so I’ve always thought of them as dangerous (not to mention gross/germy!). Now that it’s getting colder where we live, kiddo (4) has been invited to 2 birthday parties at a local bounce place. Is it as bad as I’m thinking?
Anon says
I don’t think it’s as bad as you’re thinking. We went to a party at one. I was reluctant but my 5 year old has missed so much due to Covid and rarely gets party invites (full class birthday parties seem to be dunzo in our area, and a couple of her close friends didn’t have parties this year) so we went. There are some trampolines but the kids don’t bounce very high and there are a lot of climbing structures and ball pits. It seemed like there was a lot of jumping into the ball pit and giggling hysterically with very little actual trampolining. To me it seemed way less dangerous than the backyard trampolines (which many of our friends and neighbors have) where kids bounce super high. My kid loved it so much she wants to have her birthday there in a couple months and we said yes. 🤷🏻♀️
Re: germs, just sanitize hands before eating and as soon as you leave. Any indoor space is a risk for airborne viruses like Covid and flu, and hand sanitizer is very effective at killing viruses spread through touch like norovirus.
Pogo says
+1 to this. It’s not my favorite (they pump super loud pop music at ours, I think that’s my biggest complaint) but it’s got really high ceilings and it’s not particularly crowded, as opposed to a children’s museum or indoor playplace type thing.
The biggest injury to watch out for at ours is a foam block to the eye. The foam sheds by nature, and then kids throw them, and of course one happened to hit my son right in the face. The tiny piece of foam in his eye caused a huge meltdown and we had to leave the party (he’s not wrong, a tiny piece of foam in your eye probably does hurt a lot).
Anon says
In our circles as your kid gets older you would miss a looooootttt of birthday parties if you said no to the bounce place or trampoline park (which are two separate things in our area). There are only so many options for a winter birthday, and the kids LOVE them.
Anon says
+1 it’s the go-to spot for parties at our preschool.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, we’ve had a lot of birthday parties at these places and they have a lot to do beyond jumping – ours also have obstacle courses, rooms to crawl through, laser tag and arcades too.
Anonymous says
Breaks happen. The smaller the kid the less likely. At 4, I’d go with the kid and plan to stay. The places near us have ballpits, little mazes/climbing areas etc not just trampolines. I try and encourage my kids to be there, not on the straight up trampolines.
Anonymous says
Actually smaller kids are very likely to be injured on trampolines when jumping with larger ones.
Anon says
Most trampoline parks have separate areas for little kids I think. Ours definitely does.
Anonymous says
Totally true, but they usually separate the kids.
Anon says
I am a firm no for safety reasons (also extends to backyard trampolines). I don’t love bouncehouses either, but kiddo will need a lot of dental work anyways so I tend to let those go as long as it is not too crowded. Kiddo (5) has been invited to a few but it wasn’t close friends so no tears over declining. When we get older I’m sure we will have fights over it, but so far it hasn’t been an issue.
anon says
Eh, I’m generally cautious about this sort of thing and still allow my kids to go to trampoline places. There’s more to do than just trampolines, it’s good exercise, and while I understand it’s not risk-free… it’s very fun. Load up on the hand sanitizer and you’ll be fine. It’s not any worse than other indoor places during the winter months.
Anon says
Yeah this was one of the things I swore I’d never do before I had a kid getting invited to parties there, but it went out the window and whatever. It’s fun and life isn’t risk free. We are strict with our kid about not doing any flips or anything like that. A broken leg will heal, a broken neck not so much.
Fwiw parents at our daycare tend to be very cautious, some might even say bordering on anxious, when it comes to kids safety, and I’ve been surprised at how normalized trampoline parks are. I think it would be hard to ban your kid from these places without missing out on a lot of social stuff.
Mary Moo Cow says
They are also the go-to party for the 4 year old set in my area. I prefer them to Chuck E. Cheese, where I have to entertain my kid by teaching them how to play the games. At least with the bounce house and trampoline places, the kids are wearing themselves out and I’m chatting with other parents. The bounce houses seem lower risk for breaks to me. I’ve heard stories of lost teeth at a trampoline park, and while that makes me shudder, it doesn’t stop me from letting my kids go to a party there. We don’t have a trampoline in the backyard because of risk factor, but once in a while, for a party, I’ll take the chance.
Anon says
Trampolines aren’t risk-free and I’d be cautious about allowing them at other people’s houses, but they’re so fun! Nothing good in life is free of risk. One thing you can do is work with your kid on working up gradually – start on a small trampoline, talk about how to use it safely, and only slowly allow larger trampolines, flips, certain jumps, etc. In any sport, you have to master each little skill before moving on to the bigger skills. The bounce park seems like a great place to put that into practice, although a bit tricky if your kid will be seeing it for the first time at a large, raucous party.
Anonymous says
It’s pretty much a universal consensus among professional gymnastics coaches, who train kids on trampolines daily, that backyard trampolines and trampoline parks are incredibly dangerous and to be avoided. Add to that ball pit germs and I have no problem opting out of these birthday parties. When your kid gets seriously injured they’re going to miss out on a lot more than one birthday party. Honestly, I am surprised at the number of crazy helicopter parents who think nothing of the risks of trampoline parks. It’s all about the herd mentality.
Anon says
I think there’s a really big difference between training actual gymnastics skills on a home or trampoline park trampoline with no spotter, and playing on trampolines at a party. At the parties we’ve gone to, no one is flipping or handspringing or anything like that. It’s just jumping up and down and the kids spend as much or more time on the non-trampoline activities as on the trampoline.
anon says
Same here. Kiddo takes gymnastics, but we tell her that no gymnastics tricks are allowed at the trampoline park.
Anonymous says
It’s not about the gymnastics tricks, though; just jumping at trampoline park is dangerous. The danger is in multiple people bouncing on the same trampoline at the same time, and in the design of the trampolines themselves.
Anon says
+1 They are gross and I hate them. I don’t mind bounce houses in people’s yards but the risk + the germs means we don’t do trampoline parks anymore (I did it once and was so glad to leave). I am not a helicopter parent and generally let my kids do lots of risky things (even—gasp—climb up slides! And up the outside of tube slides!)
I guess it’s the indoor, manufactured element of trampoline park “fun” that makes it different than risky outdoor organic play for me.
But also we opt out of most parties before age 5 or 6 anyway.
Anon says
I get the concern about broken bones but am a bit baffled by all the comments about germs. I don’t see why a trampoline park is germier than any other indoor kids space like playplaces, Chuck E Cheese, children’s museums, MyGym, etc. It seems less germy to me than a lot of those places.
Anonymous says
The germ concerns are about the ball pit, foam pit, mazes, tunnels, etc. We don’t go to the children’s museum or any indoor playground type places with these features anymore because inevitably someone comes down with a stomach bug a couple of days later. Fortunately the fast food play areas all seem to be permanently closed.
Anon says
That’s true (I’m 12:14 Anon). We don’t go to Chuck E Cheese, etc either. I guess it’s a bit of a pro/con analysis – to me, the pros of a good museum outweigh the cons, but trampoline parks have many cons that on the whole they don’t seem worth it to me.
Anonymous says
Do you just opt out of all winter birthday parties then? When the weather doesn’t allow for outdoor gatherings, there aren’t a lot of places to do little kid parties besides the indoor playplaces/museums/arcades.
Anonymous says
We opt out of most preschool birthday parties regardless of season because they are just a nuisance. Once they get to around second grade the options for less-germy indoor parties really open up–rock climbing, roller skating, painting, etc.–and many kids start having smaller parties at home.
Anon says
You opt out of all preschool parties? Wow. Some moms on here are so extreme. It’s sad.
Anonymous says
I also know a pediatric orthopedic surgeon that says those bounce parks pretty much keep her in business.
Luckily my 4 year old has only been invited to one of those parties so far and we had prior commitments. As someone who had a severe break as a child and was in a leg cast for 4 months, I am very hesitant. That was a miserable experience.
anon says
I’m a healthcare lawyer, and my orthopedist clients say the trampoline parks keep them in business. I’ve still taken my kid to a few of the trampoline park parties, particularly for a good friend or a cousin.
Anon says
This page is full of moms constantly on the brink of freaking out. Please relax.
anon says
My 8-year-old is BEGGING for a freaking Elf. I remember my older kid going through this phase, and I didn’t cave then, but find my resolve wavering even though I do not do not do not want to do it. Most of the kids in her class have elves, and I think she feels left out when everyone’s comparing notes on what their elves have done. I caught her praying to Santa to send her an Elf. Which was kinda hilarious, but Santa isn’t G o d, kid. LOL. How do I sidestep this issue and the daily begging? My old “not every family has an elf” line is, um, not effective.
Anonymous says
Staffing issues at the North Pole? Elf had to be reassigned to toymaking duties?
Anon says
Are there any 8 year olds who would believe this? It seems like an explanation for a 3 year old. I think it’s way better to be direct.
Anonymous says
I mean, the 8 year olds in my social circle don’t believe in Santa at all anymore, so they aren’t begging for an elf in the first place.
Anon says
I would think there are 8 year olds who don’t believe in Santa but still want the elf because their friends have it? I’m not sure “belief” is a requisite element for the elf.
Anonymous says
Maybe the 8-year-olds I know are too cynical, then, lol. Their friends don’t have it either – they all see it as something for “little kids,” and they’re at the point where they’re very vehement that they’re NOT little kids anymore.
Anonymous says
Nope, don’t do it. My kids begged for one and we found a nice compromise. Five years ago, when my oldest was 4, we got a package left on our doorstep in mid-december. There were footprints in the snow. The package contained a note from our elf introducing himself. He was assigned to our family because he begged for a family, but he isn’t a House Elf. You see, he works in santa’s shop but desperately wanted a family to watch over like his friends. Santa agreed and assigned him to us, because we also like making things. The package contained some fun little holiday stuff. On Christmas, our kids got a small present from our elf that was made in the workshop.
We’ve stuck with this every year. The elf visits at some convenient time mid-December and drops off something festive/fun. This year it will be hot cocoa bombs, fancy marshmellows and hot cocoa. One year it was Lucky Charms hot cocoa and a silly light up hat for each child. I scored big points by incorporating their friends’ elves into the stories in the notes. One year my daughter’s BFF’s elf dropped the package off on her break. Another year a classmate’s elf was mentioned by name as a troublemaker. That sort of thing.
On Christmas morning, the elf presents are small but “homemade” or “custom”- the sort of thing you do when you are an elf in Santa’s workshop. One year it was $6 name necklaces I found on Etsy. One year it was stickers that were laser cut into each of my kids’ names (they put them on water bottles and ski helmets). Once it was rubber stamps with each of their names. One regretful year it was a hand carved wooden train whistle. Mom and Dad were not pleased with that gift.
Anyway, this way the kids get a little holiday cheer and aren’t totally left out of Elfing and we don’t have to do the daily nonsense. i highly recommend.
Anon says
Tell her to seek out the Jewish and Muslim kids and commiserate with them? That was tongue in cheek, but as a member of a minority religion our holidays by default aren’t going to look like other people’s and I think accepting that is part of life. It seems to me that it would set a bad precedent to get an elf just because everyone else has one. If you want an elf it’s a different story, but I don’t like the idea of capitulating to the peer pressure of it.
Anon says
LOL that was my thought, too! Welcome to being a Jewish kid in America!
Anonymous says
Stay strong. Giving and and getting an elf will not stop the complaints, because then you will hear that her elf is lazy and doesn’t do all the cool things her friends’ elves do with the help of the SAHMs. Our elf just moved around and played with our kid’s toys. I constantly heard complaints that she didn’t find him fishing for Goldfish crackers in a sink full of blue Jell-O or something like that every day.
Anonymous says
FWIW the most Elf Insane person I know works (more than) full time. Don’t blame the SAHMs for this nonsense. It’s the super christmas cheer people :)
Anon says
+1 my BFF goes all out for the elf and has a very demanding and prestigious more than full time job. I work literally less than half as much as her and cannot be bothered with it.
anon says
Right, there is plenty of insanity on both sides. Most of her Elf stories come from other kids in the before/after school program.
Anonymous says
My oldest is 5.5, and when he says “why did everyone at school except me wear silly socks today?” I usually respond with “I love you, but I can’t do every fun thing. Sometimes I have to say no to fun things like silly sock day.” I’m sure an 8 year old won’t love that response but it’s the best I’ve got right now. Could you offer to do something extra special with her for the holidays? Maybe even get her to brainstorm ideas? Depending on my kid’s mood, I sometimes gently respond “Are you sure every single kid wore silly socks?” To which he always responds no and names someone else who didn’t. That seems to cheer him somewhat.
Anon says
YMMV but I tell my kids that Santa only comes to families that are Christian and believe in Santa (i.e. Santa would never impose on a Jewish family or one that didn’t believe in him) and that the elf is the same way and that our family believes in Santa but we don’t believe in the elf so the elf won’t come.
Anon says
Maybe say “celebrate christmas” instead of “are Christian”. From experience it’s very annoying to have some kids telling you you must be Christian because you celebrate Christmas and other kids being like “you don’t believe in Jesus so you’re going to hell”.
Going to hell says
Yeah, it is annoying to be told you are going to hell because you don’t believe in Jesus. But I’m guessing the crossover of people who say that with people who don’t have elves is kind of small? Seems like the bigger problem is that Christmas permeates our culture and if you don’t celebrate—or don’t celebrate in the “right” way—it makes you an outsider. I don’t think the ones explaining to their kids why they don’t have elves are at fault for that.
Anon says
Sure, obviously one group is way more wrong than the other. But it’s also easy and more accurate to not use Christians as a shorthand for people who celebrate Christmas and avoids kids being overly literal and insisting their friends are members of a religion that has generally been mean to them.
Anon says
I’d use “celebrate Christmas” rather than “not Christian.” Lots of people of different faiths celebrate Christmas for various reasons (interfaith families, some families who are Muslim or Hindu or Buddhist for who feel it doesn’t conflict with their faith, atheist families, etc.) and plenty of Christians don’t or don’t do Santa (eg Jehovah’s Witnesses).
Anon says
anyone have a kid who really doesnt like the taste of most medicine? i was like this as a kid and basically barely took meds from age like 3 until when i learned to swallow pills (fortunately i did not get a lot of infections requiring antibiotics). Last night my daughter was up half the night with a 105 fever (which was honestly kind of scary) and I desperately wanted her to take meds, but couldn’t get them in her. she had thrown up a few times so that might have been why, but even when there hasn’t been any vomiting involved she strongly resists. i’ve tried purchasing different flavors, putting sprinkles in it, mixing with pudding etc.
Anon says
Yes mine. We have to hold her down and force feed her. It’s not great, but medicine isn’t optional. We have broached the subject of pills (I learned when I was her age) but she is vehemently opposed.
Anonymous says
Can she swallow pills? I made this deal wiht my now 6 year old as soon as she was heavy enough to take a portion of an adult dose. If she doesn’t like the flavor, she gets one adult Advil (200mg). I get antibiotics in pill form, not liquid.
Pogo says
omg, following. Mine is opposed to any advil or tylenol since the last time he was sick and he puked up the fruity medicine, now it reminds him of that. I get it, because there are certain kinds of tequila I can never have again for that reason. However, kid needs to take some drugs every once in awhile!
I tried literally every bribe this morning – including saying he could have a gummy bear before to mask the taste, or chocolate, or really anything. No luck.
Lily says
Not sure if your kid is too old for this and/or would tolerate it, but when our 3 year old couldn’t keep meds down and had a fever, we used the tylenol suppositories. Worked like a charm.
Anonymous says
I hold them down stick the syringe in and hold the mouth closed untilthey swallow. Also if she has a fever of 105 and you can’t get meds in her you need to take her to the ER.
OP says
fortunately i was able to get her fever down without the meds but it was a bit nervewracking
anon says
Call your pediatrician’s advice nurse. At least mine was able to get us a good plan when our first handful of ideas didn’t work. If that doesn’t work, it’s worth at least a video visit with the pediatrician–they’ll have more ideas and might be able to reason with kiddo if she’s old enough.
anon says
If this is a recurring issue, when she’s well again, I would buy some placebo tablets and teach her to swallow pills.
Anon says
M&Ms are how I learned to swallow pills. Much more fun than placebo tablets. :) Although it may not work – my medicine hater is even more strongly opposed to pills than liquid medicine and I’m not going to fight her because I don’t think it will work until she wants to learn.
Anon says
I think my 3 year old just rounded the corner on medicine with our last illness. We gave him a cup of apple cider as a “chaser” and my husband would hold him down, injecting medicine into his mouth and letting him take sips to get the “yucky” taste out. Somehow halfway through the course of medicine my kid moved on to squirting the medicine in his mouth himself, but still insisted on being chased and held down first. I’m sure to any bystanders it would seem horrific, but this kid now really seems to enjoy being chased. Sigh.
Anon says
Is she equally resistant to the chewable kind as the liquid kind? Mine don’t love the liquids, but are generally happy to chew up the grape Tylenol or whatever.
Anonymous says
This. My 4 year old started preferring the chewable kind pretty recently. She puts them in her mouth with some water and chews them quickly and swallows. She absolutely does not tolerate any liquid meds except for children’s ibuprofen in berry flavor.
Anon says
My 2 year old is more willing to take medicine when we give it to him in a little medicine up (not syringe) and let him hold/drink it himself. I have also taken to bribing him with treats/sweets…
Anonymous says
How old was your child when s/he stopped believing in Santa/the tooth fairy/ whatever else?
My oldest recently turned 9 and…I think still is full on believing. It cracks me up because her best friend told her years ago that her mom is the tooth fairy. Does she connect the dots? Nope. She just thinks it’s more fun that she has a real tooth fairy and her friend just has boring old mom.
I was done believing in Santa at 8, which at the time was pretty late- I had lots of friends that didn’t believe well before that. I think I stopped because I found a present under my parents’ bed that was wrapped up as from Santa though, not because I was thinking critically about things :)
Anonymous says
I should also add that none of my 3 kids believe any Santa they see in person is real. My 4 year old has none of it, not even “oh that’s a helper.” She’s like, no mom, that’s a dude in a wig beard. Santa is at the north pole working hard. It would take way too long to sit around at the mall all day. He has to make toys!
anon says
I have a long separate post about this in mod, but I actually don’t think I ever believed in Santa. I have no memory of it. My stepkids apparently still believe in Santa at 10 and 12, as well as the Elf on the Shelf? Or at least, that is what their mom thinks because she yelled at me for asking the 12 year old whether she wanted to help move the Elf after her toddler half-brother went to bed. So now I’m the terrible person who ruined the Elf on the Shelf* and my husband and I are terrified to even try to suss out if they really still believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy.
*I can’t tell if she actually still believes in the Elf or if she was in shock bc no adult had openly admitted in front of her that the Elf is not real.
Anonymous says
My parents used the line “santa will always come if you believe” with me and my siblings as we got older. I of course knew better by the end of elementary school but happily hung my stocking and let my parents do their thing, esp because I was the oldest. In turn, they always got me something off my list that they would otherwise never allow.
Even now, pushing 40, Santa shows up for me sometimes if DH finds something splurg-y that goes beyond what we generally keep our gifts under. I think he may possibly bring our family a fondue pot this year in fact.
anon says
Ah, I love this approach/line – thank you!
Anon says
Oh man, let her go with the magic :( My 10 year old doesn’t believe either, but I think would be really sad if we talked about it openly in front of her. In fact, she recently got really upset when I forgot to move the Elf. Even if the belief wasn’t a huge part of your holiday growing up, it can be for some kids. The “ceremony” of the magic of Santa/the Elf is just really important to my daughter, and I think we’d both be really sad if one of her homes didn’t appreciate that or indulge that for her. Life is freaking hard enough.
anon says
Oh, I didn’t intend to disabuse her of it. It just honestly did not occur to me that at her age (and she is very invested in being mature and grown-up…she doesn’t actually show much interest in going to look for the elf in the morning, while her 10 year old brother does) she would still believe in it or that it would be important to her.
SC says
I think I had serious doubts around 6 years old because I saw my dad putting Barbie’s Dream House together in his office at midnight on Christmas Eve, and then that was under the tree “from Santa” on Christmas morning. Around 8 years old, we were visiting my grandmother, and the Santa gifts had the same wrapping paper that my aunt and mom had openly used for gifts for our relatives. And that seemed like too much of a coincidence. (Nevermind going around the world in one night with magical reindeer, my grandmother just couldn’t have bought the same wrapping paper that Santa used). I never really had a big talk with my parents about it. Some of the presents under our tree were from them, and some were “from Santa,” and I didn’t know if the Santa presents would stick around if I admitted I didn’t believe. At some point (11? 12?), the fact that Santa isn’t real was just openly acknowledged.
Anonymous says
+1, started having serious doubts around that age, too. My then-BFF’s family got a new dog right before Christmas, and that dog HATED men. We found it very difficult to believe that the dog didn’t go nuts when Santa arrived. I remember her mom trying to point out that Santa is magical (so that we didn’t spoil things for her younger siblings), but we were not buying it.
Truly not a Grinch, just failing at Xmas magic says
Advice for a mom who never believed in Santa?
I grew up in a very religious family, and Christmas was much more focused on those traditions – Advent was a big deal, as was St. Nicholas Day; December was packed with Christmas pageants and helping build the massive Church nativity town and decorating everything. We went to church multiple times on Christmas eve, sang in the choir, were acolytes, etc. Santa existed but really wasn’t a focus for my family – our sense of Christmas being magical came from the religious Christmas story. Thus, I don’t remember ever believing that he was literally real – I grasped the concept of Santa as a symbol for generosity and kindness early on, but have no memory of ever thinking he existed in a physical sense.
Now I’m married to a man who LOVES Christmas and have acquired two stepchildren who grew up believing in Santa, and we have a child together who is just old enough this year to start understanding holidays and to recognize Santa images. I am really struggling (in perhaps a silly way) with talking to my toddler and my stepkids as if Santa is real. My stepkids are really old to still believe in Santa – 10 and 12 – but their mom believes that they do and since I already got yelled at by her for assuming the 12 year old understood that the Elf on the Shelf was not moving on her own each night, my husband and I are stuck maintaining the Santa concept for all three kids, at least this year. (In my defense, I thought the 12 year old would think it was fun to join in as an assistant Elf-mover, which is how it came up; I can’t actually tell if she knew or if she was just slightly in shock because no adult had previously admitted this.)
I think Santa is a lovely idea but literally I feel like an idiot talking about him because it just never felt real to me. I need to get with the program so I don’t accidentally ruin Christmas/deprive my youngest of believing in this, which is apparently important. Pep talks? Ideas? Anyone else who struggles with talking to kids about Santa? Anyone want to tell me I’m terrible for assuming a 6th grader didn’t believe in the Elf on the Shelf? (Honestly, it NEVER occurred to me that she still would?). I feel like this is easy for everyone but me…
Love Santa But… says
I grew up in a house that did Christmas absolutely right—I have such amazing, magical memories of this time of year (they got other things wrong, don’t worry). But I still struggle with talking to my kids about Santa. I’ve chosen to avoid what I consider a direct lie—we do the whole Santa thing, but I answer questions with questions (“do you think he is real?” etc.). And I avoid the parts of Santa that I find most problematic, mainly the idea that “good kids” get more presents, etc.
But my kids are still little and I’ve already decided I’m not going to any lengths to “trick” them into believing longer once they start to figure things out for themselves. For a 10 and 12 year old, I think I’d be fine talking about “Santa” if it was sort of a game that we all were playing together and everyone was fully aware of the facts. But I would have a tough tough time pretending Santa is real with kids that age.
Anon says
As a step parent, I don’t think you get a say in when you burst their bubble. That’s for the parents.
Pogo says
I don’t blame this OP for ‘ruining’ Elf on the shelf for her stepkid. I can only begin to imagine how hard being a stepparent is, I put this pretty low down on the list of offenses.
I enjoyed Santa as a young child but I remember being ‘old’ for still believing in it around 6 or 7. My 8 and 10 year old niece/nephew definitely do not believe in Santa. So not crazy to think a 10 and 12 year old wouldn’t either!
With your little one, I follow their lead, see what they think, and embrace the magic. I don’t love the concept of essentially lying to your kids (and know plenty of parents who opt out of it entirely due to this) but the pure joy on my son’s face when we Zoomed Santa in 2020? That made up for it. He asked Santa where the reindeer were and the guy cut to a live feed of reindeer (at a zoo? I have no idea) and my son had to basically pick his jaw up off the floor. My biggest gripe about the whole thing is that they get their mind set on one thing that Santa has to bring them, then change their mind last minute and last year it was nearly impossible for me to get the right thing in time to keep up the magic. I am this year trying to casually reinforce the one thing he told Santa he wanted at the meet & greet we did – though, bless the guy, he said “well, those can be hard to find – anything else or could I just give you a surprise?”
Anon says
Why do you get to judge how old is too old? I have a 9 yo who very much still believes and that’s fine by her parents. OP doesn’t get to make that call.
Love Santa But.. says
Definitely did not say or mean that OP should tell the 12 year old about Santa (pretty sure her friends have done that already). I agree it’s not her place as a step parent. But I do sympathize with OP’s feelings, as I think that’d be tough with a preteen in a way it isn’t with younger kids. It feels more like dishonesty/betrayal and less like fun to me. But again, I agree it’s not her place.
I also definitely would have assumed, honestly without thinking about it, that a 12 year old did not believe in Elf on the Shelf.
Anon says
+1 to the fact that you don’t get to decide this for your stepkids. I grew up in a magical Santa home and have maintained a magical Santa home for my kids. It’s silly, fun, and meaningful for my family. My mom still won’t admit out loud that Santa doesn’t exist. We did cookies and beer when all my siblings were home and 21+, but there were no children in the house. I know all the reasons that folks don’t want to incorporate it into their traditions, but I see it very much as “good for me, just fine if not for you.” UNLESS, of course, you are a stepparent to my kids, then – I’m really sorry – but unless you have a religious objection to it that you have specifically addressed in advance with both biological parents, why ruin this tradition? The kids are still relatively young, and perhaps the Santa and Elf traditions help them feel anchored when they are missing their mom or their other home during the holiday. To help get you “over” feeling silly, I would think back to some treasured memories of your family growing up — think about when you felt most connected to your family, and then imagine if someone said to you “how silly!!” your tradition was, or otherwise demeaned your experience.
Anon says
I’d just avoid discussing it if you’re not comfortable. If they ask a question, just ask them what they think. If they persist, suggest they ask their mom or dad.
Anon says
No you’re not a bad stepmom for thinking a 12 yo wouldn’t believe in Santa and the Elf! That’s pretty crazy to me. Growing up I feel like most kids had figured it out by about second or third grade?
Lizard says
My rule of thumb as an adult is you NEVER admit these magical beings aren’t real, to anyone. /shrug. That is how my parents approached it. I am in my 30s and to this day, my parents will say that Santa is magic, Santa is the spirit of Christmas, or play dumb if we make some reference to Santa not being real. (“What?? What do you mean??”) I also often heard, “If you don’t believe, you don’t receive.” This came to be because there is a 9 year gap between me and my youngest sibling, so in order for us not to ruin Christmas for her, it was never openly discussed in our family that Santa may not be real. I’m not sure how my parents pulled this off without us feeling “lied to,” but it ended up just being really sweet and silly. I think it’s fun for everyone to keep pretending no matter how old everyone gets and how much everyone knows Santa “isn’t real.” Christmas magic and the spirit of love and giving is always real.
Anonymous says
I’ll post an answer tomorrow as I am running into a meeting now but we had to navigate DH not growing up with Santa but growing up celebrating Christmas so I can tell you what has worked for our family.
Bette says
No answers, but commiseration – thank you for sharing, because it’s not easy for me either! I grew up in a pretty religious home that also deeply believed in Santa. Now I struggle with the idea of talking about Santa to my kid. On the one hand I really appreciated the sense of magic than my mom created with Santa and the Tooth Fairy, but on the other hand I feel very uncomfortable at the thought of engaging in this very elaborate weeks-long ruse every year. The materialism and the naughty/nice connection all feel a little icky to me.
Our little one is only two so we may adjust as he grows up, but for now we’ve settled on doing St Nicholas Day (we will leave boots out with carrots, St Nick will leave one or two gifts) on Dec. 6/7 and then only focusing on giving and receiving gifts with family and friends on actual Christmas. We will be visiting in-laws on Dec. 24 so not able to create a lot of holiday magic while traveling anyway. We are not religious, but plan to talk about St Nicholas as a historical inspiration for/version of Santa and a symbol of generosity so at least he has some context for the whole Santa thing. We are trying to emphasize the gifting part of the holiday, not just receiving gifts. This year that means having kiddo make some crafts to give to his grandparents and friends, next year will probably involve him in some charity gifting. He’s in a Jewish daycare right now so we don’t have too many outside Santa influences to consider, but I know all this will get harder once he’s surrounded by kids with Santas and Elves.
Granted this is a lot easier when I get to influence it from the beginning, it must be harder with stepkids who are coming into it with their own beliefs. Maybe when you’re talking to them, you could let them lead the conversation while you take a position of “I’m as much in the dark as you are.” Like if they ask how Santa visits every house in one night, the response might be “I don’t know! That’s so many houses. How do you think he does it?”
Anon says
i don’t think you need to be the one to initiative the conversations. you can also say a lot of “i’m not sure” or “i dont know,” like yesterday my kid (age 4) wanted to know where spiderman lives and my response was that I do not know but what does she think. And when pressed further, i just keep saying that I’m not sure because I’ve never met him. I really do not like the idea of the naughty vs. nice, so I think at least with your youngest you can set it up as Santa knows that all kids and adults are still learning and make mistakes sometimes, so Santa just tries to focus on the kind things you do
Anon says
My sister in law maintains that my 12 year old nephew still believes in Santa, but there is no way in heck that this kid still does. I’m fairly certain he doesn’t want to ruin it for his mom, who is incredibly gullible.
Anon says
So we haven’t gotten to that age yet because we have a toddler and another on the way, but we’re planning on the camp of Santa being a symbol of generosity and kindness but that Mom & Dad and other people give presents. My husband’s take is “we don’t lie to our kids” and there’s no Christmas exception for that
CCLA says
This is similar to what we’ve done (Santa is a character like in movies etc., fun to celebrate and read about but ultimately not real). They still have plenty of holiday spirit and joy! However, agree with PP that with a step kid situation it’s more nuanced and I’d expect bio parents to align on an approach.
Vicky Austin says
A friend of mine tells her kids the original St. Nicholas story so they know that he was a real person who lived a long time ago, and now he has helpers all over the world, including the ones you see at malls and also Mom and Dad sometimes.
SC says
I grew up in a religious household with Christmas traditions that sound like your family’s. My parents went along with Santa but didn’t put much emphasis on it. And they didn’t do much to keep me from discovering that Santa’s not real–Dad left the door to his office open while building Barbie’s dream house, Mom used whatever wrapping paper was lying around. But they also took the approach of playing along, at least casually, until I openly said I was done with it, which meant we were all pretending for years.
I agree that you don’t get to decide for your step kids, but (a) I don’t blame you for assuming the 12 year old knew about the elf, and (b) I strongly suspect that she knows about Santa but is keeping it up to maintain connection or tradition, etc.
DH and I play Santa, but we don’t put too much effort into it. We emphasize the Christmas season with traditions throughout December. On Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, it’s all about family. On Christmas morning, Santa brings gifts, but the big item comes from mom and dad. Honestly, there are so many outside influences that reinforce the belief in Santa that it’s pretty easy to just go along with it. (For example, our family is not religious, but my kid goes to a Catholic school. He came home telling us that Santa has to be real because he’s “in the Bible.”)
So, my advice is to let your husband and your stepkids’ mom play Santa all they want, while you smile and lean into their excitement and just pretend along with them.
Anon4This says
Long story, but hang with me. Like so many, we’ve had a brutal year for childcare. Our first center (Center A) closed and we secured a spot at a new one (Center B). After three months at Center B, we discovered a teacher was verbally and possibly physically abusive to children. Pulled LO immediately at the beginning of Nov with no backup plan and truthfully, just trying to restore and recover from this bad experience. (reported it, went thru system, no real resolution). So now, juggling a configuration of remote work, grandparents, after-school HS babysitters it’s clear we need some consistency. We learned that a new operator similar to old one is going to take over Center A. We don’t yet know if old teachers will return, but good friends of ours are going back. We’re on the wait list and they say January, but communication is light.
In the meantime, I posted a PT nanny job for 20 hrs/week to give some consistency; emailing some preschools; just trying to have some options in the event Center A doesn’t work out. I have two nannies to interview, one I had a great talk with- and I am upfront that we are needing PT now and a possible FT in future. I’m also 7w pregnant and have a medium chance of multiples. Really just ticking by every week in hopes ill make it to 12. At the end of the day, I just want a childcare solution that helps my child continue to thrive and learn and grow. I just took a Big Job and my husband is working to build a small business. Late birthday so LO will reach school age in 2025.
In lieu of a crystal ball, WWYD? Keep interviewing Nannies? Hold out hope for Center A? I’m new to nanny world but I also like the socialization of group settings for child. Thank you, wise hive.
Anon says
how old is your kid? when the time hopefully comes, can you afford nanny for the baby + daycare for the older kiddo? are there any additional options once kiddo is a year older? a lot of people on this board seem to be very anti-nanny and I would say, that from my experience it has generally been wonderful, but you have to find the right person. growing up my family had the same one for 8 years (until we moved) and after us she was with her next family for 18 years. her whole nanny career she was with a total of 4 families, and my parents are still in touch with her. we’ve now had the same nanny for 4+ years.
Fellow nanny devotee says
I wouldn’t necessarily say that this board is anti-nanny. But I do think people are quick (and correct) to identify that it is by far the most expensive option, so not an option for most.
Anon says
very true. i am very very grateful we can afford ours. we also have twins so it was not actually that much more expensive than daycare starting out and worth it for us because DH has a big job with lots of travel and we have no local family.
Anon says
I suspect you’d get better nanny applicants if you advertised for a full time, permanent position. Not many are in the position to take PT work with the flexibility to switch to FT.
Pogo says
I would agree with this, though I wouldn’t dismiss being able to get a PT nanny. I had several applicants when we were looking, with various reasons for why they wanted the PT work. But if someone is looking for FT, they’re going to want FT. I would keep advertising as PT in the hopes that you get center A, but worst case, at least you have the PT nanny while you look for a more FT solution (or add a second PT nanny, etc).
Anonymous says
The right nanny will have nanny friends and having a single childcare provider (nanny or stay at home parent) does not mean unsocialized. There’s library storytime, play dates (most Nannie’s are adept at arranging these), outdoor nature programs, childrens museums, etc…Our society often thinks socialized = in an institutional setting with adult directed activities, but that’s not what it really means. I’d say my kids are out in the “world” more often and have more time to spend exploring our community than if they were in a daycare
Anon says
+100 Socializing with kids and adults of all ages counts – and is probably better than being in a group of exact peers. Going to the grocery store and seeing your parent interact with the cashier even counts as socializing.
Anonymous says
Yes, my kids go to a weekly meetup with kids aged 1.5 to 13!! And yes 13 year olds will still “play”.
Anon says
I agree a good nanny will socialize your kid plenty. But I will gently push back on the idea that kids in daycare are in adult-directed activities all day. A good daycare program is play based. At our center there are set meal and rest times and a daily 30 minute group time but the rest of the day is child-directed free play.
Anonymous says
Christmas ideas for my 4.5 year old girl needed, please! Relevant info:
– She’s the youngest of 3 girls who are close in age. So we have EVERYTHING. Barbies, LOLs, lego, art, the whole deal. Closets bursting with dress-up. Hand me down adorable outfits for days. Board games. Bikes, scooters, sleds, roller blades, skis, ice skates, etc. we have it all in her size. We have gymnastics mats and bars. We have fun bean bags.
– I either already have or don’t want to buy of the large ticket items like a power wheels, basketball hoop, that sort of thing. We have 2 dollhouses and a barbie castle.
I was thinking consumables, but one of my daughters has already claimed getting her a personalized art set (which she will love). We have a closet full of play-doh. We have tie dye kits. We have 2 art easels.
I was eyeing the Magic Mixies, which I know are total junk, but I am being asked for ideas by everyone and I need about 5-6 good ones. HELP.
anon. says
If she likes imaginary things, I’ve had some luck with the Maileg (danish company) mice in a box. My son loved it at 4 and 5 (and now even at 6 reaches for it) and my goddaughter does at 5 too. They’re special.
Other ideas for kids in that age range that have worked – World Wildlife Fund adopt an animal with the stuffed animal that comes with it, Cricket/Click magazine subscription, highlights sticker find books (recommended by someone here!)
Anonymous says
Kiwi Crate or similar subscription box?
Anonymous says
Tickets to an age-appropriate show?
anon says
baking/cooking stuff? my son at this age loved to help in the kitchen. he got an apron, some kid knives, baking supplies and likes to pull up his stool to help at breakfast/dinner or bake on weekends.
Anon says
i have two 4.5 year old girls and while they do not have older siblings, so i can share what they are getting for hannukah /some of their favorites and see if it helps. they both really like arts and crafts-
– spirograph from Lakeshore Learning
– light bright type of toy
– they have this kinetic sand toy that is kind of like candyland themed
– unicorn/fairy/mermaid themed art kits – there is one at target that is a unicorn jewelry box craft kit, and then they also once did this fairy garden craft kit with my inlaws which they LOVED
– plus plus blocks
– a doll
– fat brain toys has this ‘color a skirt’ mermaid, which they are getting which i think they will love. i know you said you already have enough dress up stuff, but this is like combo arts and crafts/dress up
– something personalized – bathrobe, apron, beach towel, sweatshirt etc.
– fat brain toys has this unicorn pogo stick type of toy that i’ve considered
– melissa and doug makes an ice cream themed side walk chalk
– stickers, ideally sparkly ones
– we just did shrinky dinks for the first time and they were a huge hit
– perler beads
– while we most certainly don’t need any more of them in our house, my kids are obsessed with stuffed animals – would you consider an experience gift, like going to build-a-bear? or even another stuffie?
– does she have a jewelry box that plays music?
– one of the flower building kits (my in-laws got one for my kids this past summer and they really liked it)
– spin art
– they are both getting remote control unicorns though i typically do not like toys like this bc that is the one thing that they asked for
– if she has a bike, accessories for it – like a basket, bell, sparkly handlebar things
Anon says
following up to myself – i keep seeing those magic mixies on ‘best toy lists’ but i don’t really get what they are. – do you have any of the crayola scrubbies? my kids like those.
– and following up on the person below, my girls have a race car type of toy that they like. t
– hey also love to build with magnatiles and if you look up the company createon, they make some cool themed sets that are different than the standard ones. Camp Stores also sells a mermaid themed one I think my girls would love
– bath bombs or other bath time consumables
Anon says
tonie box or yoto
Anonymous says
OP here. We have every.single. Thing. on your list- or we had it but I’ve purged it. We don’t have a remote control Unicorn but we do have one you ride around on and that’s more than enough!
I don’t like the experience gifts *only* because Big Sisters are getting real things.
We have a tradition of the girls getting an American girl doll the year they turn 5, so that will be her big gift next year. We already have tons of crap for those, and all 3 girls are getting Hogwarts sweaters for their dolls in their respective house colors. Littlest has a Target doll right now.
I did get her a giant light with her initial and a set of headphones. One sister is getting a Kareoke machine which this one will also love.
Anon says
What about special clothes, shoes or decorations for her room?
My 6 yo recently got a Cotopaxi backpack with lots of pockets and colors that she loves. My other daughter got LED lights for her room. There are also night sky ceiling projections that are fun. A new bedspread or other room decoration could be fun.
Last year my 5 yo got glitter “high heels” that she adored. We’ve also done fancy high tops.
As another idea, last year my 5 yo asked for a “real” doctor’s kit so I got her a bunch of real splints, braces, slings, and a loaded first aid kit with gauze and bandages, plus a white doctor’s coat with her name embroidered on it and a stethoscope and pretend X-rays in doctor’s bag. It’s gotten played with a ton both for human patients and stuffed animals as a veterinarian.
Anon says
Walkie talkies? Any traditionally thought of boy stuff like fun hot wheels tracks and cars if you think there’s a chance she might be into them?
DLC says
My kid would loooove walkie talkies. What about a headlight to go with jt for outdoor adventures?
The FP Code and Learn Robot has been a big hit with both my 3 year old and my 6 year old, so maybe a 4.5 year old might like it too?
Anon says
The “hot” toy that seems like it might have more shelf life than the Magic Mixie to me is the little live pets Guinea pig. Comes in a cute hutch that also has three baby Guinea pigs plus accessories. I feel like a lot of 4.5-year-olds would enjoy that.
Anon says
She doesn’t have older siblings but for Hanukkah my 4.5 year old is getting a Nat Geo little kids magazine subscription, a Spidey and Friends character toy set, light up unicorn sneakers, a unicorn sweater, a Hanukkah dress, a couple of Hanukkah books, some watercolor paints and whatever family and friends send (toys and art supplies, probably). We debated giving her an American Girl doll (I have two from my childhood in good condition) but decided she doesn’t really have enough interest in it yet.
I think an experience could also be really cool if you can swing it. I know there was a big thread a while back and many people said experience gifts benefit the parents more than the child, but I disagree. I can see how a zoo membership or something you were going to purchase anyway is not a gift to the child, but if you go out of your way to take your child to a place you wouldn’t otherwise go, it’s definitely a gift to them IMO. My daughter’s big 5th birthday present will be a trip to Legoland with me and she’s been talking about it non-stop for months. I think tickets to a show would be great too. We saw Daniel Tiger and Aladdin this year, and are going to Disney on Ice and Bluey in the next few months.
Anonymous says
Ok so take this with a grain of salt because we usually do smaller gifts than some of the ones mentioned here, but are there small things relevant to her personal interests? The FAVORITE gifts of all time for my (quirky) turns-4.5 year old were a capo for his toy guitar (ukele capo fit) and … basic kitchen tongs. And a set of adult office supply type stuff and restaurant order pads (if she can write- ours are still in use three years later), Not that those specific things would work here but does she have any random interests?
Otherwise: flashlights or camping lanterns, walkie talkies, extra magnatiles, gardening tools/garden gloves, bedding relevant to her interests (animals, vehicles etc)?
GCA says
Camping gear. Personalized sleeping bag. Is she going to K next year? Time for a bigger backpack, lunchbox, pencil case – all personalized. Science kits. Osmo toys that work with a tablet. Sticker subscription and sticker book. Her very own Lego sets (depending on your family’s Lego habits – when a set enters our house, it generally enters the giant general Lego stream within 2 or 3 days…).
AwayEmily says
I feel like with 3 kids (at least, with my 3 kids), one-on-one time is always in demand. Could you give some “experience” gifts focused on that? Like, a coupon for a trip to the art store with Dad and she gets to pick out any craft kit she wants. Or a box of brownie mix with a coupon attached that says she can bake it with Grandma. Trip to the bookstore with Mom. I know my 4.5yo would adore any of those things.
anonM says
Nice, heavyweight paper or canvasses for the art set?
So, my 4.5 is a boy who loves tools, so YMMV, but what about a small tool kit? Tool bag, mini level, measuring tape, screwdrivers, flashlight? Or one of the kits where they can “unscrew” the dinosaur or car or whatever and put it back together?
Something with her name on it since she’s youngest and prob gets more hand-me-downs?
Books or a gift card to Barnes and Noble so she can pick out something?
Anonymous says
OP here. All 3 of our girls have their own toolboxes, personalized, and covered in stickers. When they go on errands with dad they get a new tool or a sticker.
I haven’t seen the kits you mentioned- could you share a link? They sound fun!
Anon says
It sounds like your girls have plenty of stuff and i get you wanting some new ideas for your youngest- but there is no way she has every single arts and crafts kit ever created or every single stuffed animal or doll. Is it you think she will be disappointed or is this pressure you’re putting on yourself? What about an ice cream maker or s’mores kit or snow cone maker or something like that? Does she have an led drawing tablet? Fun slippers? A Lego or playmobil set? A science set? A telescope? Mini Knock hockey or air hockey table?
anonM says
https://www.lakeshorelearning.com/products/p/VR201
https://www.lakeshorelearning.com/products/blocks-manipulatives/building-sets/build-play-dinos/p/GM298
Anon says
My 5YO girl is getting (in addition to some of the things you already mentioned) lots of puffy stickers, fun pom poms for arts and crafts, new wholly impractical wooden clogs from her auntie, her own rainbow polka dot duffel bag with her name on it, new hooded towels (princess, unicorn), a nintendo switch, more magnatiles, matching kid aprons to my aprons if I can find the ones I ordered months ago, and some new puzzles.
Do you have remote control cars? They make tonka truck off-roading ones that can be run outside so it is a lot of fun for her and gets her running around outside. Walkie Talkies? She also loves the LCD drawing tablets, new books, and her own wireless headphones. Personalized stationary set if she likes to send letters to relatives? Digital camera?
Mary Moo Cow says
We’re giving my 5 year old a giant stuffed animal — a four foot tall cheetah. I hope it has the wow factor. If it helps her purge some of collection of smaller stuffies, even better.
Anon says
When my oldest was 4 she got a collection of camping lanterns, a headlamp, and flashlights. They were super popular.
Anonamom says
This is kind of random, but my 4 year old just had her birthday and got a microphone that connects to a phone via bluetooth and basically has built in unlimited karaoke. If you have a music lover, it’s a great gift. She has been walking around singing for two days straight to the point of partially losing her voice, haha. Best gift ever. The one we got is called “Amazmic Kids Karaoke Microphone.”