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- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
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Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
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- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
Anonymous says
My husband is having a rough month, his job is being eliminated at the end of the year and he was really hoping to have something else lined up, but nothing has materialized yet and he’s feeling very down about it. He’s in a tech field and a couple of companies he was talking with are in a hiring freeze right now. Is there anything helpful I can do, other than plan some fun activities to take his mind off it? We will be OK for a few months on my salary, so we don’t have to go into super-saving mode just yet.
Anonymous says
Man that is rough: I feel for y’all. Is there a hobby he’s into that y’all could do together? Or even if you could plan to do an outdoor activity: that always helps me when I’m down. I think also just letting him know you’re there for him, it will be ok, and you’re there to listen if he wants to vent. I’m sure you’ve done all that already. Hope he finds something soon!
Spirograph says
Oof, I feel for him, I’m also in a tech field and a company with hiring freezes and layoffs in progress… it’s surprisingly rough out there right now, given how in-demand tech usually is.
I agree with the suggestion to get outside, and try out new hobbies or focus on (non-work-related) skill acquisition. It makes me feel better to create tangible things when I’m feeling stagnant or frustrated at work. Puzzles, lego or model kits, etc. My husband and I have been on a Duolingo kick recently trying to refresh our school French before a trip to Quebec, which has been a fun quasi-competitive distraction.
anon says
You know your DH best, but I think giving him the space to have hard days and talk/vent when needed tends to be the way through emotionally draining situations. And reminding him that you believe in him, and your family is going to be OK in the long run.
Anonymous says
This is so hard, I’m sorry! Could he line up a consulting gig with an early-stage startup? Could be a way to mix it up and stay busy.
EDAnon says
That is so hard! I would be someone who would want to feel like I was “doing something” to improve the situation. If you can afford it, maybe support him in exploring some professional development opportunities or encouraging some consulting (even if he doesn’t make much).
Anon says
thanks to those who chimed in yesterday about how to get my kiddo to take meds. both kids were up half the night, just returned from the doc and turns out kiddo has a really bad double ear infection, so now i need to get those antibiotics into her, and hopefully the kids sleep tonight bc DH is heading out of town until Friday.
Pogo says
that sucks, I’m so sorry. Hunger games salute to you!
I tried to get mine to take a bubblegum flavored tylenol last night (chewable!!) to no avail. BUT, the fever broke last night, luckily.
octagon says
We’ve always had the best luck by doing a quick chaser of medicine with a spoonful of something delicious like ice cream or pudding. Something to immediately get the bad medicine taste away and minimize the likelihood of it coming back up. Good luck!!
Anonymous says
Depending on his role and the field, would he be able to do a little consulting? I’m in tech and at least in my corner of the world while there are hiring freezes for FTEs, there is still a lot of slush money that can be used for contractors for one-off projects. For example, I have 20k of “use it or lose it” type money that I’m using to have a former employee that left to be a SAHM for a couple years do a one-off project. She gets extra holiday money, and I get a boost in productivity for the end of the year. I can’t hire her part time, but we scoped it as a 15k project she’s doing over 2 months for me.
There are also firms like Guidepoint, GLG, Alphasights, Coleman that hire experts as a one-off. He might get a little gig there. It’s not big money but it’s fun to do and use your brain/expertise.
Business Talent Group (BTG) is another one where he might pick up projects.
Again, totally depends on his skill set- I’m sure there are similar places for more tech-oriented people at tech firms.
anon says
That’s a great suggestion!
Pogo says
Agree on this re: contract work. Heading into a recession, if we don’t think we can float the FTE we’ll cut the head, but can often use direct expense $ to bring on flexible labor (contractors) because it’s much easier to let them go, you don’t have the overhead, etc. I’d definitely look at your network and see what’s out there.
Anonymous says
It’s also great networking to find a permanent role, and could also lead to a permanent role in 2023. Both have happened to me.
Diaper change struggles says
Our two year old kicks and screams during diaper changes, and kicks us in the face. We will start potty training next month, but until then what can we do to stop the kicking? I’m not great at discipline, but I am going to get a black eye pretty soon.
DLC says
Have you tried standing up diaper changes, maybe with a pull up? Not great for poop but for us it worked well for pee. I also have my kid participate by holding the diaper up while I do the tabs – gives them something to do.
anon says
Can you change your child standing up?
SBJ says
Have you tried doing the changes standing up? Our daycare switched kids to a standing change when they moved to the 2s room and I quickly realized there’s a reason! I’ve done it with all three of my kids and it’s definitely a better option. You have to be a little careful on a poop diaper not to drop anything while taking it off, but better than getting kicked! Teach them to touch toes for wiping access. And that skill will be used for years on the potty, too…
anonM says
Hope this isn’t a total repeat/sorry if I missed it, but thought we could do a holiday tips thread.
The biggest thing I do for my own sanity is a google doc spreadsheet for Christmas/holidays. I add a new tab each year, and copy/paste in the list of names and tasks (family members, work assistants, daycare, cards, etc.). It’s great because I can see it on my phone as well. The columns are name – gift – where from (in store, online Target/etc.) – amount. I can easily look up what I got last year. Throughout the year, I can add in ideas for the following year. And, I can keep a tab on spending. This sounds crazy, but honestly if you have a large family (or if you’re forgetful like me) it can help a lot. It also has saved me from forgetting that I hid a gift in the back of closet or whatever because I see it on the sheet!
anon says
I do the same thing. I have a big family, and I keep tabs on the entire year of gift-giving (birthdays, showers, other special occasions). Otherwise I would NEVER remember what I got everyone!
anonM says
I have a separate one for gifts/showers/weddings too! That way I save myself from “how much do we give a first cousin vs sibling vs random friend?” question every time we have an event.
SC says
Too late for this year, but I set aside money every month just for the holidays. We have a large family and buy a lot of individual gifts (plus teacher gifts and cash for my assistant), but expenses like the Christmas tree, replacing outdoor lights that aren’t working, attending holiday events, etc. really add up too!
I try to buy gifts and have them wrapped by mid-November. We buy for our child, our 6 parents/ stepparents, and 9 nieces and nephews, plus DH and I spend about $50 each on stocking gifts. It’s a lot of work, and it’s nice to have it out of the way.
This year, we are taking Kiddo to our city’s various holiday light shows/events on Wednesday evenings. He gets out of school early on Wednesdays, and the spaces are SO much less crowded than on weekends.
I keep a spreadsheet for gifts too, but I just add new columns each year, so it’s on one huge sheet. It goes back about 10 years now. I have columns for name, budget, actual amount spent, and gift. I also have line items for other expenses–decorations, advent calendars, holiday cards, etc. When we’re out of money, I stop spending.
With a blended family, our schedule around Christmas is crazy. But on Christmas night, we stay in just the three of us. And for dinner, DH and I make a charcuterie and cheese board and have a simple salad. It’s one of my favorite traditions–no cooking on Christmas!
CCLA says
Oh I LOVE a spreadsheet and am totally going to steal this, thanks! Way better than my old iphone note or email draft that inevitably gets lost. I’m always trying to remember how much I gave to daycare staff (we try to stay flat or higher so there’s no disappointment vs prior years), did I get dad that thing I meant to last year or would it be good for this year, etc. I’m already envisioning making this a google sheet for easy sharing with DH.
SC says
Oh yes, mine is a Google sheet shared with DH. To be honest, I don’t know if he’s ever looked at it though.
Anon says
I am also team holiday spreadsheet.
(But I am team spreadsheet for most things : )
Anonymous says
This is a great idea and something I am planning to implement this year. I thought I did it last year but was trying to figure out how much we gave to the garbage collectors, etc. and couldn’t find it. Maybe it’s in a google keep note on one of my four accounts but it’s gone now. Anyway better late than never I guess.
Runner says
Tips on getting adjusted to a new boss? I am in the non profit space and my colleague was just promoted to the head job. I report directly to him. I enjoyed a really good relationship with my previous boss, and this transition is just…rough on me. I’d like to become the trusted advisor/implementor that I was for my old boss, for my new, but it just feels awkward, almost like starting a new job — except my energy and my enthusiasm is lower. Would love to hear any good tips and tricks!
EDAnon says
This isn’t helpful maybe but I think it takes time. I bet your now-boss feels awkward, too, which is not helping either of you settle in. I was have had this happen several times and it is always a year or so of feeling each other out before you hit a stride that works. You have to get through the first success, failure, challenges, etc. before things settle. Hopefully, you have a baseline of mutual respect. If so, then I wouldn’t worry about coming in like a new person.
Anonymous says
Any advice on how to help kids cope with parent work travel? DH has started traveling every 3-4 weeks, and I’m traveling every couple of months. Our 4yo in particular is having a hard time with it. He’s okay in the evenings, but in the mornings he’s really down and refuses to participate in getting ready for school. Drop-offs are a nightmare, and he’s giving his teachers a lot of trouble.
Anon says
I think most kids this age adjust and he will do better after he’s had time to get used to the situation. In the meantime, I hope the teachers don’t give you grief about it! My 4 year old was having a very tough time at dropoff this past summer and the teachers told us that it was my husband’s fault for traveling so much for work (he doesn’t travel much in general but had several trips back to back). Like what is my husband supposed to do, quit his job!? It was very annoying and added stress to an already stressful situation.
Clementine says
Hi. My husband has travelled for his entire career – he works on commercial ships.
It means that I solo parent a lot. It’s HARD and hard on the kids. What we do that helps is a ritual and a routine. We see if dad can call at least every other day. We talk about what we want to tell dad (good and bad) and what we think dad would think. Kid has a laminated family photo he brings to school. Kid also had to understand why dad was leaving.
It got hard at 2/4/6. The even years, I guess? The other thing he needed was mom one on one time. I definitely give him 15 minutes of watching something with mom where I 100% am focused on him. This doesn’t sound like a lot but I have 3 kids.
Good luck, sorry he’s having a hard time.
anonM says
This is interesting because my kids struggle more in the evenings. Anyways, we did have to play around with how much DH calls. We do a call usually during breakfast, and to say good night an hour before bedtime. If he calls too close to bedtime, it can make them more upset. I have to remind DS that Dad WILL be back and that Dad is safe. Day 2 is almost always the hardest, and so I try to keep those days especially routine-based, plan a verryyyy easy meal, and try to get ready for bed early. Daniel Tiger has at least one episode where the mom platypus travels for work and we stole the love-you-loops from that. We don’t do the loops every time, but when DS was really struggling it maybe helped? It is tough sometimes!
Anonymous says
Seconding the love you loops from Daniel Tiger. You could also combine with a bribe. Like leave stickers that kiddo can wear to school and get them in the morning, when the stickers run out, Dad will be home that night. Or hot chocolate packets. Once when I was gone for 3 nights, I found a pack of soaps from Trader Joe’s that had 3 cookie soaps in it and left that to help motivate my kid to take a bath each night.
Anon says
YMMV but it helps my kids to see where their dad is staying so now he always texts a video tour of his hotel room right after checking in. I think it makes it real that he’s somewhere else not just away from them. I have him text short video hellos at night that we watch in the AM each day.
Cb says
How often are you communicating? I’m gone 1/3 of the time and rarely get a call, which is weirdly better for my son. Out of sight, out of mind. If I try and call too often, he gets mopey.
I’d use bribery for the morning – a special breakfast he only gets on travel days.
Anon says
use a paper chain to count the days until DH comes back. Or have DH leave morning kisses (ie Hershey kisses) and you have one every day until DH comes back. granted in my house kiddo would probably then decide they dont want DH to come back bc they like chocolate so much…lol
Pogo says
Travelling parent always texts first and asks if it is a good time to call; we loosely plan to do morning and evening; when one of us is in Europe that means we try to step out at lunch for the morning call and then we call right before bed. However, if the parent on the ground says no, like others have said, sometimes it’s better for them not to see the travelling parent if things are going south.
My 5yo does enjoy pictures of our travels: the planes we fly on, any machinery at factories we visit. That helps remind him we are thinking of him all the time even if we aren’t there.
I do think the more it becomes routine the less resistance you’ll get. Hang in there! Last time I was gone my kids were kind of a nightmare apparently, but everyone was still alive when I got home.
Noncompete Q says
Just reporting back from my comment about my brothers noncompete issue. Thank you so much to everyone for the advice and lawyer recs! It looks like his noncompete with his current employer is laughably broad in scope and he’ll be able to move on to his new job without issue.
anon says
From what I’ve heard, lots of noncompete clauses seem to be this way. What’s even the point of having them, I wonder.
anon says
To make employees who don’t know their rights fear switching jobs for better pay, working conditions, etc. It’s a horrendous thing for the employer to do, but it probably helps them.
Anon says
This.
Pogo says
Recently an employee who left my company has been poaching people left and right and getting around it by having them stop at a third company for a hot minute in between.
Anon says
Anyone in Brooklyn have a CBT therapist to recommend? I am struggling, mostly to manage my demanding job and my kids. I’ve tried something more like talk therapy in the past and while it helped me through an acutely tough time, I don’t know that it really helped long term. I need to really change my way of thinking, and hoping CBT can help.
anon says
Help! My one year old bites. She’s not aggressive, she’s teething, but we got a notification from daycare that she bit another child today. Being that she’s only a year old, she doesn’t understand much. We try to redirect with teething toys. Is there anything else we can do?
Bette says
We had the same issue (although I think he was a little older? It’s so fuzzy looking back). We got a lot of traction out of the book “Teeth are not for biting” and any time he bit we would calmly say “we don’t bite people, can you give a kiss/pat pat/etc instead?” Also having a lot of chew toys handy so we could redirect his biting into something appropriate. I say “calmly” but this was one of my biggest frustrations with that time and I did not always handle it the way I wanted to. It can really hurt! If I really couldn’t deal then I would say “I don’t want to be bit, so I’m going to move my body away” and move out of his reach. I think a lot of this was inspired by Big Little Feelings advice on biting.
Bette says
Oh I’ll add – she probably understands a lot more than you think she does. It’s never too early to start talking to them like people and actually explaining things.
EDAnon says
I agree with that! One year olds understand a lot. Like a lot a lot. I second Teeth are Not for Biting. That helped me kids.
AnonM says
Ask the teachers if they think she’s in the “normal” range for biting. I think they have to inform parents whether biter or bitee, but at 1yo I think it is expected and pretty routine, not cause for panic. If she’s teething, maybe make sure to give her some things to help with that — a teether with frozen fruit or veggies in it, cold wash cloth, etc. If it continues longer-term, then talk to the teacher about a consistent approach and what they recommend, etc.
Normal says
It’s totally normal at that age. I don’t think there’s much you can/should do to address it at home unless it happens there too. I would take it as an fyi and not worry about it unless daycare is making it a bigger issue.
Anonymous says
I think daycares are required to notify the parents of the kids involved. My kid was a hair puller at that age. I’d just touch base with the teacher to make sure you’re on the same page as far as how you’re redirecting her and the language you’re using so she gets a consistent response.
An.On. says
We have/had a biter. The daycare asked us to send a teething toy on a clip, so we did that. They use that to redirect and it seems to have died down. It was pretty bad for about 2-3 weeks, and now has really died down, and we hear about incidents maaaybe once a month now. We did try reading Teeth Are Not For Biting, but doesn’t seem to have made an impact.
Anon says
Does anyone have a city stroller recommendation? Looking for something lightweight, very easy to fold/unfold, small folded size, and wheels that are useful enough to brave a curb without too much effort. A plus if it adapts to an infant seat. Budget up to $500 but it doesn’t need to be a status brand. Just need something actually comfortable to use on a regular basis for a petite mom. We do have a BOB for hiking which we love but prefer to only take it for seriously rough terrain as it takes up so much trunk space. Last time we had the Summer Infant DLite and I hated it so much even though we only used it in the airport, I would gladly spend a lot more money on a better stroller. Thanks!
CCLA says
Check out the zoe. We had the double but a lot of the pros would hold up for a single, too. We loved our thule jogger but didn’t love maneuvering the jogger around the farmers market etc. The zoe was sturdy enough for neighborhood sidewalks that weren’t the best kept, but waaaay more compact and maneuverable.
DC says
Uppababy Minu. We live downtown in DC and use the stroller a lot! Lightweight, foldable, fits as a carry on in a plane, good wheels, and for when you have an infant it has adaptors for infant car seats and a foldable bassinet.
NYCer says
We have a yoyo. I have been very happy with it. The bonus for us is that it fits in an overhead bin for travel (and is approved by every airline, so it never gets turned away).
If you don’t care about the overhead issue, I have heard good things about the Nuna Trvl and the Bugaboo Butterfly.