Washable Workwear Wednesday: Geo Trim Tank

I like the sort of geometric trim on this top, and it looks like a nice layering piece, either underneath a suit jacket or cardigan. It would also look nice by itself (if you can wear sleeveless tops at your office), and it just elevates the basic tee while still being machine washable and tumble dry. It comes in regular (XS-XL) and petite sizes (lucky sizes only) at Nordstrom in black and teal and is $39. Geo Trim Tank

Two plus-size alternatives are here and here. (The latter is available in four size ranges.)

Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear.

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  1. Sleepingquestion says:

    I have a 3 month old that we bedshare with. We feel guilty for doing it but I’m still getting up 3 to 4x a night and am so much more rested when she’s in bed than when she’s in a crib next to me or nursery across the hall. She does take naps in her crib in her room and is fine with that.

    I’m starting back at work soon and feel like it’s important than ever to be rested but how do I transition her to her room? I’m trying to balance being rested and not having to sit in rocking chair 4x a night vs. not having a toddler that still wants to be in our bed.

    Also, when did you sleep train or did you have to? Is modified CIO where you come in every 10 minutes and pat gently etc. the “best” way? The thought of doing it kills me and I’m hoping she will learn to sleep on her own, but not sure when she will.

    • Anonymous says:

      Don’t feel guilty for bedsharing. That’s the best solution for some families. I would side car the crib and once baby gets used to sleeping in the crib, you can decide if you want to leave the crib in the room or move it to the nursery. I was too lazy to get out of bed at night so I kept the crib in the room until there were fewer night wakings. You may find that after being away from baby all day, you actually want to bedshare at night as well so leave yourself own to that possibility.

      I got the most sleep then I had the crib next to the bed. I could just scoop baby out to nurse, and if baby fell back asleep before I did, then I would move baby back to the crib. If baby didn’t fall back to sleep, depending on if it was my turn or DH’s turn to have night duty, one of us rocked or walked baby until he fell asleep. Sometimes I fell back asleep while nursing sidelying and that was fine too. Moved baby out to own room at 8 months with no issues. Still rock and sing before bed but baby goes to sleep on his own now. Be open to different options and don’t feel guilty about going with whatever works for your family whether it’s CIO or bedsharing or something in between.

    • Our son is 13 months now, and I can’t remember exactly the timing on all of this, but we slept with him in our room (first bassinet, then pack and play) for about 5-6 months. After I went back to work, he went through a period of waking up more to nurse (thanks growth spurts!) and I would nurse him in bed (and often fall asleep). I remember around 6 or 7 months people kept telling me he should be sleeping through the night, but honestly, he would usually only wake up 1-2 times a night, I’d nurse for 15 minutes, and he’d be back to sleep. He started sleeping through the night on his own around 9-10 months, with only occasional wakeups for nursing. So we never did sleep training, but I was able to hang with the once-a-night nursing sessions for a while. I also liked that it helped me keep my supply up.

      If there is anything I learned, it’s that nothing is forever! I hope that you can find the best solution that works for you and your sleep, and for your babe, and don’t worry too much about what other people tell you “should” be happening at such and such age.

      **And a final note, I didn’t get the hang of really nursing in bed until the baby was at least 3-4 months. That really helped me get more sleep.

    • I bedshared until about 12 months for my first, and about 10 months for my second. We ended it because I wasn’t sleeping as well once they were able to skip the night nursing, and once they started moving around at night. (And neither were they.) The transition into their cribs was rough for a week or two, then they were fine.

      Don’t let all the “should-ers” get to you. Your sleep is important too, and you won’t end up with a college kid who still sleeps with you. Do what works and keeps you safe to drive in the daytime, and then once you’re caught up on sleep, then you can decide if you want to work on the transition to their own room.

    • We started working on letting my son fall asleep on his own around 10 weeks-ish at the doctor’s encouragement, with mixed success. We did check and console (a la Ferber), with intervals timed somewhat haphazardly. But I didn’t ignore night wakings – I fed him and then put him back in bed awake since he very rarely nursed to sleep in the middle of the night. For some reason he was usually okay with this at night IIRC; naps were more of a mess. He stopped waking to nurse at night most of the time around 9 months, although he did it for periods on and off for a while longer.

      Keep in mind a 4 month sleep regression is very very common – my son went from waking up 1x a night to 4x a night for a week or two, which just about killed me, then slept 12 hours straight for 3 glorious nights before resuming waking up 1x a night. So you might want to wait to change anything until you get through the 4 month period. You can work on her learning to fall asleep on her own at naptime too -the skill does translate!

    • I would say keep doing what gets you the most rest. We bedshared with my second until he was 9/10 months and started moving too much for me to get rest. Around 6 months we started putting him in his crib to start for the night, and then at his first wake-up he would come back to bed with us. Once we transitioned to the crib fully, my husband took over night wakings with a bottle of pumped milk.

      We’ve never done any form of CIO, but did utilize the pick-up/put down method at 6 month to get them sleeping without us (pick up and rock when they cry, set them down when they are asleep, wash rinse repeat until they stay asleep). This “method” takes much longer than any CIO method, but it was the only one I was comfortable with.

      I now have a 1.5yo and 3.5yo that are excellent sleepers (in there own beds all through the night), so don’t think that having them in the bed while they are little means they will be there forever.

    • Sleep question says:

      Don’t feel guilty. And after reading 10000000 sleep books, the “experts” tend to agree that you get a free pass before the 4-month sleep regression to do what works. I worked on “drowsy but awake” starting at around 8 weeks, and it didn’t work at. all. ever. I was well-rested nonetheless with baby in the bassinet next to the bed. Then the 4-month sleep regression hit us hard. During recovery from that we did a form of pick up put down, to give baby the opportunity to fall asleep on his own with his crib moved in our room. Then I decided I needed space and that’s how he transitioned to his room :) After six months I did “sleep training” in the form of the sleep wave from The Happy Sleeper. I also couldn’t imagine letting him cry, but I could tell he was so close to getting himself to sleep, and I wanted that for him. It’s the only book I read (and I seriously think I read them all) that made it click for me. It took 8 minutes of crying the first night (with one check at 5 minutes) and he’s putting himself to sleep now. Still feeding at night, but he can settle himself after and when he wakes up for non-feeding times. It’s actually really sweet to watch him settle. As for sleep training, the best advice I got is just keep giving them the opportunity to get to sleep on their own.

    • PregLawyer says:

      We transitioned to the crib at around the 2-month mark, and we put a heating pad in it and one of my tshirts to make it feel more like laying on me (took the heating pad out, of course, when the baby went in). We did start doing drowsy but awake at around 3-4 months. It worked for us. We also stopped doing nighttime feedings at around the 5-month mark–just went in to soothe and rock asleep. We did a graduated form of CIO – like, letting him cry for 5 minutes, and then going in to soothe. But, our kid was huge, and I think (but am not sure) that bigger babies sleep through the night without needing extra night feedings earlier than smaller babies.

      On sleep training – it’s totally up to you and every baby is different. But, based solely on my anecdotal experience with my first kid, it definitely worked for us. My son needed to be trained how to sleep on his own. He would only sleep in our arms for the first month (seriously, it SUCKED) and needed to be introduced to sleeping on his own. Then he needed to be trained to nap on a schedule. Then he needed to be weaned off night feedings. He took to all of these changes in a matter of days. At about 6 months, he was regularly sleeping 12 hours at night. We developed some pretty rigid nighttime and naptime routines and stuck with him, and now he’s like Pavlov’s Dog.

    • layered bob says:

      Don’t feel guilty about bedsharing. When you’re doing it intentionally + nursing, it is a great, safe, cozy way to sleep. There is no rule that you have to sleep train either, and you certainly don’t have to do CIO. My youngest is two and sometimes comes to our bed around 5am to nurse and sleep a couple more hours, but otherwise our bed is now childless without ever doing any kind of CIO or ever having to get out of bed with a baby a million times a night.

    • We bedshared with DD1 until she weaned around 13 months, and we’re currently bedsharing with DD2. DD1 was a terrible sleeper since the get go, so this was the only way for me to get enough sleep to function. DD2 is probably a better sleeper, but right now, I’m soaking up middle of the night cuddles.

      There are a million factors that go into this decision, and so much depends on each individual child. The times we tried CIO with DD1, she’d get so worked up she wouldn’t sleep at all that night, and then go into a weeks-long burst of separation anxiety, which usually resulted in us all being awake for 2-3 hours in the middle of the night. She also reverse-cycled every time she had a growth spurt (which is like, every few weeks in that first year!), and getting up to nurse in a different room was not good for my sleep.

      We had to wait until she was ready (and a little verbal) for her to reliably sleep in her bed all night, but at 3 she does with very little issue. I know CIO works wonderfully for a lot of people, but there was no way to do it for us that meant everyone slept.

    • Katala says:

      Don’t feel guilty. Bedsharing intentionally is much better than being so tired you break down one night and do it without planning, IMO.

      First was in our bed until 6-7 months, when he started being able to move and made it hard for everyone to sleep. He was also waking up less to nurse by then. Tried crib in our room which worked OK but moving him to his own room around 8 months was awesome and he started STTN right away. I think we were keeping him up.

      #2 is 7 months and would not sleep in his crib, ever, until I went back to work at 4.5 months and he started napping in the crib at daycare. Soon after, we started putting him in his crib at bedtime. Now he sleeps until anywhere between 1 and 6. Dad goes in to try to replace paci and get him to fall back asleep, but at some point in there he still comes to bed to nurse. It’s not perfect but it works for us now. He goes to sleep no problem, I get some cuddles in the wee hours, he’s happy and fed. Once he’s moving more we’ll probably work harder on staying in the crib.

      We tried sleep training with #1 but really moving him to his own dark, quiet room was far better than any training. #2 hasn’t needed training per se, he still nurses to drowsy and/or asleep depending on the day but will go down for Dad if I’m not home. You know your kid best, try to listen to your instincts.

      • Katala says:

        Also, #1 is now an awesome sleeper. 27 months, always STTN (barring bad teething/illness), has never once slept in our bed since he went to his own room. So, no, you won’t necessarily have a toddler in your bed!

    • Anon anon says:

      I don’t have a lot of my own advice for you, but I wanted to share a great resource I think is worth checking out if you want well-informed, thoughtful, research-based–but totally practical and relatable–advice on all this – preciouslittlesleep.com. Her blog saved my sanity. She has a new book out too that looks good – and podcasts with advice on a lot of sleep topics as well. Wish I knew of her blog when my guy was younger – I didn’t find it until he was almost 6 months and I was dying by then. I can’t even remember half of what she says about newborns (and that period for us is a total blur for me!), so apologies for not giving you any advice of my own. Good luck!

    • Anonymous says:

      CIO. Takes about three days.

      (I am perpetually amazed anyone can bedshare — I mean, you do you, but I cannot sleep at all if my child is in the SAME ROOM as me. Once she was sleeping through the night, we gave her a week and moved her to her own room. Thank god.)

    • Spirograph says:

      I bedshared with my two younger kids for months. We started making a concerted effort to move them to their own room around 6 months, but often caved and let them in bed with us around 2am. That was just the easiest way for everyone to get the most sleep. Some kids do better than others with cry-it-out, whether the Ferber version or modified. My older two kids sleep trained pretty easily with the modified method. My youngest was an awful sleeper until about 9-10 months, no matter what we did. Just as I was about to suck it up and call a sleep consultant, he started sleeping through the night. I know I did nothing different, it just happened.

      Sleep deprivation is terrible, but I promise your baby will learn to sleep. And whether it’s easy or hard or sooner or later probably has a lot more to do with the baby than anything you do to influence him (sorry, no magic bullet). The only thing I would caution against is the baby needing you touching him to go to sleep, but you’re a year away from that being something you should worry about, and chances are it will never be an issue.

  2. Clementine says:

    The theme of my week is waiting. Right now, I’m waiting on two different sets of people to make two different decisions.

    Depending on how these decisions go, they could be totally nothing or completely life changing. You know, no room for wiggle in those two spaces.

    Oh, and I don’t think that the people making the decisions realize that it would be so life-changing.

    • EP-er says:

      I’m sorry — that has to be hard. Do you have some good distractions lined up while you wait?

    • Pigpen's Mama says:

      Fingers crossed that whichever way they go, the resulting change (or no change) is good for you!

  3. Anonymous says:

    Ooh this is really cute and actually marked down to $24!

  4. New mom accomplishment: I’m wearing real clothes today AND mascara! I had to drop off some immigration paperwork at the office so took baby and grandparents in and we met some friends for lunch. I breastfed in the lobby (academia is cool with this) and I don’t think I flashed any of my colleagues. Not sleeping much but feeling a bit more human. A bit terrified of what happens when my parents leave next week as they are responsible for the little sleep I am getting,

  5. Patty Mayonnaise says:

    Anyone have experience with freemie cups? I’m thinking of using them for an upcoming work trip (trying to use the hands free pump bra discreetly on a plane seems intimidating..) but a lot of reviews say the freemie cups leak and/or result in milk backing up into the pump – both of which would be a mess on a work trip!

    • I use them 3 times a day every day at work and love them way more than the regular horns. I had milk go up the tubing once when I first started using them before I got the hang of it, but it has never happened since. You just need to make sure you don’t bend over I think. Anyways, with a little practice you’ll be totally fine – practicing both pumping and pouring. They aren’t completely discreet, you can tell there’s something down my shirt, but it is just so much better than having the horns hanging off.

    • I used them during my long commute in the car. On slightly less than rare occasions, tiny amount (a drop?) of milk got into the tubes. It was never something that ruined the pumping session. I also suggest some practice before the trip. It’s a good product!

    • I used them occasionally while driving. I didn’t have issues with leaking but I did not get very good suction from them. Most of the time, I’d say I got about 50% less when pumping with the freemie cups over the medela horns (was using a spectra pump, fwiw).

    • Spirograph says:

      I’ve tried them and didn’t love them. They are quite a bit more discreet than typical horns if you need to pump in sight of others, but I felt like the suction wasn’t as good. No issues with leaking, but there is a little learning curve to getting them off and transferring milk without spilling. Good for driving, but I stuck with the traditional set up for most pumping.

  6. Is it weird to drop your 6 month old off at daycare in his pjs? We just started two days ago, and I want to do this, but I’m not sure if it’s strange. When I toured, I saw a baby wearing his pjs which gave me the idea. When I’m looking after him, I keep him in his pjs until after his first nap, which seems to make a lot of sense to me since they nap so early in the day. He goes to a spanish immersion school, and not all of his caregivers speak english, so I haven’t been able to just ask. (I mean, I gesture-asked, and they said it was fine, but I’m more curious whether this is a bizarre thing to do.)

    • Anon in NYC says:

      I don’t think it’s bizarre. I never did, but I saw other kids in the infant room dropped off at school in PJs.

    • I saw this occasionally in the infant room. Less so in the toddler room. Large, corporate daycare.

      I let my kid sleep in clean, regular daycare clothes at night, so all that’s needed in a diaper in the morning. (I am not a morning person, so anything I can do to streamline the morning routine, I do)

      • My elementary school-aged kids do this. My mom nearly had a conniption when she found out while visiting this week, but I am not a morning person, and neither is my eldest. They’re wearing sweats or leggings anyway, so it’s not like it’s uncomfortable.

    • Anonymous says:

      I never put my baby in PJs — she wore onesies and leggings exclusively (for sleep and for play) until she was walking. Once she was walking, she wore tshirts and leggings — and I never bother with PJs. You do you, and I don’t think a 6-month-old in PJs at 10am is weird.

    • My kids regularly showed up to daycare in their footless pajamas and socks – the striped ones with crabs or frogs on the butt. For babies, I don’t think it matters as long as they’re clean and clothed. And my kids spit up enough or were messy enough eaters that they changed clothes a couple times a day anyway.

    • Blueberry says:

      Wellll my 2-year-old sometimes goes to school in his pjs because there are certain battles I just don’t care to fight. And at 6 months, his clothes were pretty indistinguishable from pjs anyway. So I say go for it if you want.

      • Maddie Ross says:

        + a million. At 6 months, there is no way to tell. I dressed my 9 month old today and she was probably the only one in the room wearing “clothes.” Do what you need to do.

    • The difference between PJs and daytime clothing for 6 month olds is pretty nebulous; I think some people exclusively dress their babies in footed sleepers. We mostly used onsies alone or onesies and pants but do what you want. The caregivers probably will only give you side eye if you pick one of those annoying sleepers that involves lots of snaps or buttons instead of zippers.

      • avocado says:

        Yes, lots of people just dress their babies in onesies or footed sleepers until they are walking. At 6 months I sent my baby to school in the little one-piece playsuits that look like dresses from the front (are those still a thing?), but if it had been winter I’d probably have dressed her in jammies.

    • Marilla says:

      My baby also spent the first chunk of the morning (until after first nap) in PJ’s until at least that age and probably close to 10-11 months (she still did on some lazy weekends until a few weeks ago when she finally sadly dropped her weekend extra morning nap). I was home for the first year so it didn’t come up in relation to daycare, but I wouldn’t judge another parent for sending their baby to daycare in PJs. They are so cute in their sleepers and they’re super comfy, so what’s the downside? Unless they have to wear little indoor shoes, but at this age they’re not close to walking so why not let them chill in their PJs.

    • Is there really a difference between pj onesies and daytime onesies at that age? All my LO wore for about a year were onesies. Some days I got around to putting pants on top of the onesie and some days I didn’t (I live in a pretty warm climate). I had a few of the footed ones and rompers thrown in also, but I feel like all baby clothes are comfy enough for them to sleep in.

    • ThatGirl says:

      My 6 mo wears his footie pjs to school every day, because it is FUH-reezing in his classroom and his teachers complain that he is cold if I dress him in short sleeve onesies and sweat pants. We lose socks like it is our job. The building is old, so they have two AC systems which both feed into the infant room. The poor pre-k kids are sweating and mine is bundled up like we live in Alaska. That being said, he goes through several outfits a day, so it’s just easier on everybody to have one piece of clothing to wrangle. I wouldn’t think twice about it, tbh. I’m also a 15 minute morning routine person so YMMV.

    • Pretty much until my kid could walk, she went to daycare in PJ’s much of the time. Maybe less once she was crawling and it was hotter outside (it’s hard to remember), but much of her first year was spent in footie PJ’s.

  7. Paging Rainbow Hair says:

    I just saw your potty training question from yesterday and wanted to let you know that you are not alone in having a kid who just holds it all day long instead of using the potty. Mine is 3.5 and has some anxiety about the potty that was pretty bad the first time we tried a diaper-free weekend, although it seems to be improving. We’ve gone back to diapers and have been encouraging him to just sit and be comfortable on the potty even if he doesn’t go. He hasn’t been using the potty at daycare but moves to a new classroom after Labor Day, so our plan is: 1) Ask the new teachers to take him regularly to sit on the potty so that it becomes a normal part of his day in the new class; 2) Consult pediatrician about to get his take on the issue of holding pee too long; 3) Try some diaper-free weekends. We’ll see how it goes…

    • I posted last week with a similar question, so I also feel your pain. Miraculously, my daughter started reliably using the potty over the weekend and is now, it seems, over her anxiety. Last Thursday evening, she sat on the potty (after holding it for hours), and I put her feet in a bowl of warm water. She reflexively started peeing, which I think helped her move past some of the fear.

      Good luck! It is definitely an exercise in patience.

      • Thank you for posting this, it reassures me a lot to hear that other kids that have gone through this and everything ended up ok

    • Rainbow Hair says:

      I’m going to throw both my husband and kiddo’s main daycare teacher in the toilet right now.

      Apparently they’re just ignoring the whole talk we had yesterday (“we want to push pause on the potty training and just make sure she isn’t going nine hours without peeing. tomorrow she’ll come in with diapers and she can pee in them and if she asks to sit on the toilet, that’s fine, but the focus is just on making sure she pees.”) because today (1) no notes of diaper changes, (2) notes about “refused to sit on toilet” so like, eff you, Jeanette.

      And then I asked my husband to call the daycare and say WTF and he just said no. NB, yesterday I spent my lunch break over there trying to politely tell them, “If you ruin my daughter’s bladder in your dumb attempt to make your days easier I swear to god I’ll have you head on a platter” AND I think it would be more persuasive if they heard it from both parents, but he just doesn’t “feel like calling” so he won’t. I told him that there are kids who’ve been truly screwed up by this stuff and he said, “I don’t know what you want me to tell you” and I said, “don’t tell ME anything. call the daycare.” He won’t.

      Everyone is the worst.

      • Rainbow Hair says:

        Of course I called daycare and they told me she is “doing great” and hasn’t peed in her pullup or the toilet today. HEY GUYS THAT ISN’T GREAT WAY TO MISS THE MEMO.

        I think I’m just going to refuse to pick her up from daycare today, just to register my dissent with my trashcan husband (I usually pick her up but I’m working from home because I’m sick, so he can do it).

        • ElisaR says:

          I’m sorry…. none of this is funny but “eff you, Jeanette” cracked me up.

          It sounds like you’re going to have to have a do-over with that whole conversation…..and I can see my husband pulling the same response as yours (if its any consolation)

        • (I’m the one who started this thread) – This sounds terrible! The potty training issues are stressful enough without this nonsense. I’d be pretty raging mad in your position. Good luck and I’ll be looking for updates from you. I hope in a few weeks/months we’ll both be posting updates similar to A above.

        • CPA Lady says:

          OH. HAYELL. NO.

          I would be so mad in your position. Can you get a doctors note if worse comes to worse?

        • Anonymous says:

          I would be livid! So frustrating that you have to deal with this. This is no joke of an issue. Our oldest ended up with a kidney infection because of this exact problem. She held her pee so much it turned into not just a bladder infection but a kidney infection. She was on antibiotics for months to deal with it.

          • Anonymous says:

            I would remove all her pullups from the daycare and replace with regular diapers.

          • Rainbow Hair says:

            Yes, this is my plan tomorrow. No pullups, no underwear. I’ll tell her pullups are a special thing she can use at home. At school, only diapers.

      • avocado says:

        OMG, “I don’t know what you want me to tell you” is just about the most annoying thing a husband can say in this type of situation. I hope he gives the teachers a talking-to at pickup, and I hope she goes in the diaper tomorrow.

  8. PregLawyer says:

    My clothes are getting really rundown and, if I weren’t 11 weeks pregnant, I’d definitely be doing a pretty significant closet overhaul right about now. Seriously, I haven’t bought new suits in a couple of years. I have some new blazers that I’ve sprinkled in, and some dresses and skirts here and there, but a lot of my staples are getting pretty threadbare. But what do I do? Will my coworkers/bosses give me a pass for wearing tired, slightly dingy clothes because they know I’m pregnant? Or do I need to bite the bullet and buy some things in sizes that I may never wear again, because who knows what my body will do? Similarly, what if I buy a size up to accommodate the tummy, and then quickly go back to my pre-pregnancy weight (which actually happened with my first because I had pretty bad PPD and anxiety).

    • NewMomAnon says:

      Well, I gained a lot of weight early in my pregnancy and needed to wear maternity clothes by 15 weeks….so I would definitely not buy a new wardrobe at 11 weeks pregnant. Consider also that you might get 4-8 weeks of wear out of new clothes, and then put them away for more than a year between pregnancy and maternity leave, and even longer if you go back to work during winter. Styles will change in that year or two.

      A few wrap dresses and a new blazer (bonus points if it is meant to be worn open) could go a long way if you absolutely must buy new clothes now. I wouldn’t buy anything with a waistband, anything that would fit close to your hips, or anything you have to button across your chest/ribcage.

      • Anonanonanon says:

        haha I hadn’t read your post yet when I replied, and it looks like we had the exact same rec!

      • Blueberry says:

        +1 to new blazers. I got the J Crew factory version of the schoolboy blazer in a few colors and feel fine wearing that open with my belly sticking out. Good quality for price IMO. My maternity clothes, mostly purchased when I was right out of law school two pregnancies ago, other the other hand, are mostly very sad, worn out polyester pieces that spark no joy, but I am trying to be disciplined about not buying too much new stuff to wear for only 3 more months… sigh.

    • Anonanonanon says:

      I found myself in exactly the same situation. I put off replacing clothes because I was trying to get pregnant, which took 8 months and now I’m 13 weeks. I decided to go ahead and start replacing blazers, because I can wear those unbuttoned for a while and if I have baby weight after this one it will be in my tummy and hips because of how I tend to gain, so it shouldn’t affect blazers. Maybe you can start with those?
      I also got a couple of faux-wrap dresses from Seraphine that are technically maternity, but not obviously way longer in the front or anything. I feel like even post-partum I can wear those with a blazer and heels some days for work and be OK.

    • PregLawyer says:

      Thank you both for posting! I like the blazer idea. Do you think that belts with dresses is still a thing? I could get some swing-ier dresses that I could belt up when/if I lose the pregnancy weight. But, I feel like I haven’t seen belts in a while.

      • PregLawyer says:

        Oh man, and one more thing – shoes. I completely ruined a pair of shoes last time I was pregnant because of my swollen ham feet. But I also just need to get some new basic flats for work. I’m thinking about just getting a cheap-ish pair that I know will be ruined after pregnancy, and just wear those into the ground.

        • ElisaR says:

          LOL swollen ham feet. i’m right there with you. i went to DSW and bought some ugly stretchy shoes. sorry it’s just the worst.

      • NewMomAnon says:

        Belts with dresses are definitely still a thing in my part of the country, especially as fall wardrobes start to roll out.

        Zappos sales for the shoes – I bought wide width flats specifically for pregnancy (maybe aerosoles or hush puppies?), and then donated them to Dress for Success after my feet shrunk back down.

      • Anonanonanon says:

        I think belts on the thinner side are still sort of a thing. I have a couple from Boden that are cute.

    • ElisaR says:

      I wouldn’t bite the bullet – it’s painful to buy things and not be able to wear them later. I know I feel better when my clothes are sharp and fresh, but I bet your current lineup wouldn’t make your co-workers notice.

      Another solution might be to check on ThredUp which is a consignment website. I’ve sold some of my suits I outgrew there- might be something you like without spending too much.

      Shopping (or wanting to) while pregnant is the worst. I would try to hold off until you’re back settled to your normal self!

    • avocado says:

      This sounds like the perfect time for a capsule wardrobe with maternity bottoms, swingy non-maternity dresses that you can wear now and postpartum with or without a belt (Old Navy’s jersey ones are nice if they are dressy enough for your office), and a couple of great blazers that you leave unbuttoned. Since your blazers are newer, you can probably fill in the rest of the capsule with inexpensive basic dresses, tees/tops, and skirts/pants without doing a ton of shopping.

    • Anonymous says:

      I’m in your boat (though a few weeks behind you) and I just bought a few basics with a lot of give in the belly area (where I gained all my weight with baby #1). The Lands End ponte dresses are very forgiving. Also, if you have an outlet mall in your area, it might be worth checking out – between BR outlet and Loft outlet, you might be able to get a decent number of basics for under $200

  9. blueberries for Patty Mayonnaise says:

    I used Freemie cups for both of my kids and greatly prefer them to horns. I’ve used them in the office and while on a plane/in a car. I haven’t had significant issues with leaking (maybe once or twice while trying to non-advised things like recline in bed while pumping). I often get a bit of milk in the tubes because I put the cups in a gallon bag in the fridge between uses during a day. I just clean the tubes with a alcohol swab when this happens and it’s usually fine (I clean out the tubes with alcohol or soap and water about 1-2x a month). I wouldn’t need to do this if I cleaned cups between uses.

  10. Tattoos Day 3 says:

    Yesterday’s post asked for ideas on tattoos to commemorate being a mother. I was the commenter with no ideas who just wanted to talk about placement. Now, I have an idea! A quick internet search claims that two swallows symbolize the end of a journey. I’m not sure how accurate this is because there’s about a million explanations for swallow symbolism. I am due in a few weeks with my second child and we will be done after this. I was thinking a swallow to represent each child would be neat, and representing the end of the pregnancy journey would be awesome.

  11. Anonanonanon says:

    Are my husband and I being unreasonable?
    Our son is about to start “fall ball” for little league, this will be his third season. He’s 7, so it’s all still pretty casual. We got the same coach we had in the Spring, and we’re pretty bummed. We come to practice and stay to make sure our kid is behaving, always arrive on time and have him prepared, sign up to bring snack once in a while, last year we bought the team banner, etc. Compared to parents who just drop their kids off and leave (no judgement, ours is an only child) I’d say we’re fairly involved.
    However, our beef with this coach is he pressures us HARD to volunteer even more than we do. He asks/shames parents to get out there and teach the kids how to throw (sorry, but neither of us are qualified to do that). He’s constantly looking for someone to agree to schlep/set up heavy equipment necessary for the game (we have jobs that mean we could both be called away at a moment’s notice before a game, and don’t want to risk having to juggle how to get the pitching machine to the game if that happens) etc. We come to practices straight from work so are not dressed to get out in the dirt and coach kids. Also, WE DIDN’T SIGN UP TO COACH! We get really irritated that he constantly expects all of the parents who are present to be out in the field participating. None of this was expected from our previous coach.

    Do you have any ideas for a script (a la Captain Awkward perhaps) on how to shut this down? We hate looking like bad sports, but if we wanted to coach kids in baseball we would have signed up to coach kids in baseball. I’m afraid my husband is going to snap at him one day and say something rude to the coach and I’d like to avoid that.

    • You’re not being unreasonable. I’d just say something like “Coach, I love how passionate you are about the game. We have no desire or ability to be an assistant coach, so we are going to keep helping out in the support-from-the-sidelines roles. We can’t commit to any of the setups or coaching activities. If you need more, let us know how to advocate for you getting an official assistant coach and we’ll see if we can help. But that person cannot be us. Thanks!”

    • NewMomAnon says:

      I’m confused about why you need to confront him. Does he treat your kid differently if you ignore his requests? Does he come to you personally for additional help and get upset if you say no? If so, go to the league and check your expectations against theirs. He may need an assistant coach, or he may not have the capacity to be coaching, or he may be expecting a higher level of competitive drive than most of the parents want. Those are all league problems. If the league agrees with his expectations, then you should find a different activity that matches your expectations.

      If it’s just that he asks and you feel bad saying no, what happens if you just….stop caring? It’s perfectly fine to respond to coach’s requests with a chuckle and something along the lines of, “Nope, I’m going to leave that to the folks who signed up to coach! Go get ’em tiger.”

      • Anonanonanon says:

        yea I guess I just need to be more firm with the “no”. It’s just he asks every.single.time. multiple times, and I’m tired of having to explain myself/justify my answer. no is no.

        • NewMomAnon says:

          This may be a stretch, but just as a different frame of reference: is the coach an executive type who enjoys being the center of a bunch of subordinates? My dad was my softball coach for a decade, and he was a huge extrovert who liked to be in the middle of a bunch of social activity. It was just his personality. So he would gather a group of softball parents to “help” with things at every game or practice. He was never personally offended if someone didn’t help, he just couldn’t imagine someone *not* wanting to participate. He probably would have characterized his requests as “offering” to “let” parents participate in the practice or game.

          I don’t really understand extroverts, but sometimes filtering their actions through my dad’s frame of reference helps calm me down.

        • Wehaf says:

          You don’t have to justify your answer; “No.” is a complete sentence. It is also perfectly legitimate to say ask him to stop asking.

          I would explain once “Coach, you frequently ask husband and me to help with these things. We are not able to, and we would really appreciate it if you would stop asking.”

          After that, he gets “No, sorry.” for the first 2 or 3 times, then “No.” for a few times after that, then “No, we can never help you with these tasks. Why are you still asking?”

          • Wehaf says:

            Also, is it possible to ask to switch to another coach? League policies vary, but it can’t hurt to ask.

    • avocado says:

      I would start leaving during practice so the coach stops thinking of you as potential volunteers. Also, unless you have concerns about safety or negative coaching practices and want to keep an eye on the coach, or your son has special needs that require your presence, it tends to be better for both kids and parents when the parents don’t watch sports practices. By age 7 it is developmentally appropriate for your kid to attend practice by himself.

      Last year my daughter had a 9-year-old teammate whose mother watched every practice. The mom was constantly worried about her daughter’s progression and whether she was getting as much attention from the coach as other kids, while the daughter was distracted and annoyed by her mom’s presence. Both the team manager and the child asked the mom to stop watching. My own child started attending practice alone at age 6, demanded to be dropped off at the curb instead of being walked in to practice at around age 6.5, and now graciously permits me to watch for 5 minutes if I happen to arrive early for pick-up, but not more than once a week.

      • avocado says:

        P.S.: In my daughter’s sport, many clubs have a “no spectators” policy during practice. Her club allows parents to observe as long as they don’t distract or interact with their children. Waving at your child will prompt the team manager to send a strongly worded e-mail reminder of the policy to all parents and can theoretically get the parent kicked out. Most of the kids also prefer that their parents sit out of sight during competitions. It is frequently said that parents’ job is to pay their bills on time, get their kids to practice, make sure they eat and sleep, show up to competitions and encourage the kid without commenting on performance (“I love watching you do your sport!”), and nothing more. The rest is up to the kid and the coach.

      • Anonanonanon says:

        that’s how it was in the activities I participate in when I was younger as well. We’re in a bit of a tough spot, because my ex husband has suddenly returned to the scene trying to fight for more visitation (aka lower child support) and is coming to every.single.practice. so we feel awkward not being there when my ex husband will be sitting there watching him

        • Anonymous says:

          Given that situation can you tell the coach you’ll bring the team banner like last year but you can’t commit to more. If you have to be there anyway that may placate the situation and won’t be a big deal if you do have to miss at some point.

    • Is the coach himself a volunteer?

      • Anonanonanon says:

        Yes he is

        • That makes this harder I think. He may legitimately need more help. At the same time, you didn’t sign up to help so I understand not wanting to change the terms of your participation mid-stream. Can you try to open up a conversation with him and all of the other families about what to do and have some group problem-solving? It sounds like he just is not on the same page as you are in terms of his expectations – maybe he feels like the parents expect him to be getting their kids to a higher skill level than he can without help, or maybe he assumed he would have more help when he agreed to do this.

    • Does the coach actually need more support? Like an assistant to help with the kids during practice and people to help carry equipment? He might not be asking in the most tactful way, but he might also genuinely need help with these things. When I was coaching, I couldn’t have cared less if there were banners and snacks, but I needed help carrying stuff from my car to the field.

      • Anonanonanon says:

        He very well may need more legitimate help, but we’re just not in a position to provide that type of support. I can’t physically carry most of the stuff he wants us to the distance he needs us to, and my husband isn’t going to ruin a suit carrying bases covered in red dirt.
        to be fair, the coach does take the banner and snacks thing very seriously for some reason. As far as I’m concerned, the kids can eat when they get home and if they can’t survive 2 hours without a snack then their parents can bring one, but I’m no fun. Also the position in charge of coordinating snacks is officially called “Team Mom” by the league which irks me, because men can coordinate snacks too!

        • avocado says:

          Can the two of you change before showing up at practice? I would not want to spend two hours on a baseball field in a suit. Also IANAL, but if your sole purpose in being there is “parenting up,” wouldn’t you want to be visibly involved to the fullest extent popular?

  12. Can anyone talk about weaning experiences post-12 months? We are at 13 months, and I am just nursing in the morning. It seems like the baby still gets something out of it (both in the literal and symbolic sense), but the sessions are pretty short. Will I just “know” when I want to wean? (I felt like I 100% knew when I needed to stop pumping for my own mental health.)

    • Anon in NYC says:

      My daughter self-weaned at 15 months, in part because of illness. I had been nursing in the morning and pre-bed at that point. She got sick and refused to nurse and I didn’t try to pick it back up after she was better. But I had started to get the sense that she was getting little out of it – the sessions were short and she didn’t seem to particularly care if she nursed – so I had been planning to cut out the morning session right before she weaned. Honestly, it didn’t have a huge hormonal effect and I didn’t feel physically uncomfortable for more than, like, a day. So I think my body was ready.

    • Anonymous says:

      Basically, yes, you’ll just know.

      On 1/3 of mine I knew when I was done and needed by body back. But 2/3 of mine self-weaned around 16 months. I was down to just once a day around 13-14 months and had assumed I would nurse to about 2 years so I was surprised when they were ready to wean before I was. I say self-weaned because I continued to offer for a week each time and was turned down.

      The ‘don’t offer don’t refuse’ method can be pretty successful if you are ready to wean before baby. Especially as toddlers are highly distractable.

    • I stopped at 12 1/2 months but I wouldn’t say I necessarily knew I was ready to be done. The only thing I knew is that I wanted to new bras and I wasn’t going to get them until I quit bf-ing. My kid 100% didn’t notice or care that I stopped, though.

    • Anonymous says:

      Mine got to the point where she wanted a bottle of milk after nursing in the morning around 15/16 months (yes, I know, we kept the bottle around WAY too long, but we never dealt with a pacifier or anything, sooooo). One morning, we both just looked at each other, and I asked if she wanted to skip nursing and just have the bottle? She took the bottle and we never nursed again. It was very uneventful.

      • It’s so helpful to read about everyone’s experiences, thank you!

        And yeah, we’re doing a bottle after nursing in the morning too… -_-

    • Pretty Primadonna says:

      My daughter is fourteen months old. She was fed a combo of formula, pumped milk, and b-milk from direct nursing. I am SO.READY.TO.BE.DONE. nursing. I thought my supply would dwindle after I stopped pumping when she turned one. Not only has my supply not dwindled to the point where she would lose interest, but it seems she wants to nurse even more. We nurse in the morning, after work, and before bed, and at least once at night (yes, she still wakes up to nurse…). On weekends, she wants to nurse even more frequently. I hope she self-weans very soon.

      • Anonymous says:

        Have you tried babywearing? Not sure if that’s your thing but I eliminated the need for an after work nursing session by putting toddler on my back in the Ergo while I made supper. She was really looking for cuddles not milk. Somehow being in the Ergo vs. just held gave her the security and physical contact she needed. Having her on my back instead of in a front carry also made it easy to cook.

    • Maddie Ross says:

      Weaned from pre-bed and first thing in the a.m. at 13 months with my first. My child was totally cool with it. I didn’t really intend to combine with a work trip, but when I got back in town, she didn’t seem to care that she was getting a bottle instead, so I just went with it. As others said, it was super uneventful.

    • I don’t think I would have ever felt ready.

    • Katarina says:

      I don’t think I ever would have felt ready to drop the last session. Both times I was really sad about it (14 months and 13 months). But, I felt much better a month or two later. I felt more like myself, and my performance at work significantly improved. I was able to go on date nights, which was good for our relationship. Neither baby had any issue with weaning, but my second refused a bottle after I fully weaned (I had been using it for remaining breast milk).

      P.S. k is me in a mis-post.

    • I’ve seen situations all over the board, depending on the child. My kid and I were both done around the same time. One friend had a kid who self weaned around 18 months, which she was happy with, and another kid she had to cut off somewhere after his second birthday because he was showing no signs of stopping and she was over it. Another friend has an almost three year old who is showing no signs of stopping and is now old enough to be using it as a pre-bedtime stall tactic. So, I think some kids are just over it before others and the ones who aren’t over it can go on for a long time.

  13. Crystal Ball, Please says:

    I’m just over 36 weeks with my 2nd baby, c-section scheduled for 39 weeks. As it turns out, I’m 3cm dilated and 50% effaced. That is further along than I was when I checked into the hospital after my water broke with my first!

    Any stories about how long you walked around cramp-y and dilated? Or how you went into labor that night?

    • Anonanonanon says:

      aw jeez, that sounds uncomfortable.
      I just pulled up my copy of expecting better on my phone, and am trying to sift through the graphs to see what is most relevant. I DO remember the book saying that how effaced you are is a better indicator than how dilated. It looks like if you’re 40-60% effaced at 37 weeks, you have a slightly over 60% chance of being in labor by your due date (compared to a 10% chance if you’re 20-40% effaced). You’re earlier than 37 weeks, so maybe your chance is greater? That’s not really what you asked, but hopefully it helps.

      I was 0cm at an OB appointment and we went ahead a scheduled an induction for a few days after my due date. Less than 24 hours later I woke up in labor and baby came out that night with no induction or pitocin to speed things along, so you never know!!

    • Sleep question says:

      I walked around like that from right before 39 until 41 plus 2 when I was induced with #1. Had a membrane strip during that time too… Don’t envy the trying to read the tea leaves time. GOOD LUCK :)

    • EB0220 says:

      I was 3 cm dilated and 50% effaced at 36 weeks too (with my 2nd). I thought for sure she’d be early like her sister but I walked around like that for almost 4 weeks. I wish I could give you hope!!

    • October says:

      Same situation for me (3 cm, partly effaced) at 36 w + 4, after having strong menstrual-like cramps for a few days. Baby was born 5 days later. It was a very quick labor because “early labor” had taken place throughout the previous week, and once my contractions started up for real I was immediately in active labor.

    • Crystal Ball, Please says:

      Thanks, All! I’m happy to read the experiences across the board, from labor quickly to labor weeks later. I’m torn because while I am ready for relief, I’m also nervous about going into labor and not realizing it or not having enough time to get a proper c-section. My first delivery was 26 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing to land in the OR. I do not think my body is meant to birth that way…

  14. avocado says:

    Less than two weeks before school starts, I was just notified that our wonderful perfect after-school program can’t take my daughter next year because the middle school changed its pickup policies and the after-school program can’t get a van there in the right window of time. I am so pi$$ed.

    • Anonanonanon says:

      Oh god, I have nothing to say but WHAT A NIGHTMARE!!! I would be losing it!

    • Anonymous says:

      all the commiseration. I just discovered that day camp for next week screwed up my daughter’s registration and now I’m scrambling for childcare – when is summer over?

  15. Baby proofing Help! says:

    Has anyone had any luck baby proofing frameless kitchen cabinets?? We have many drawers in our kitchen that do not have frames between the drawers so none of the typical baby proofing gear seems to work. Desperate to hear from anyone who has suggestions!

  16. Baby proofing Help! says:

    We are finding it impossible to baby proof our frameless kitchen cabinets! We have a number of drawers that do not have a frame between them and all of the baby proofing tools that we have found seem to require a frame. Help!

  17. Tunnel says:

    FYI the Halogen Geo tank pictured above is now 40% off at Nordstrom for $23.40 in the teal and a pretty coral (“pink teabury”)

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