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The Pikler Triangle is associated with the Montessori philosophy because it teaches kids independent play, learning boundaries, and problem solving. It was created by Dr. Emmi Pikler, who was a Hungarian pediatrician.
Children are supposed to be able to have free rein over the triangle to learn how high they feel comfortable climbing and figure out how to get down or unstuck without parental intervention.
If you have space for it, I recommend it, especially if you have limited outdoor space or the kids’ gyms don’t reopen. This particular one is foldable, comes in various sizes, and has an additional ramp.
At $265, it’s an investment, but there are also tutorials online for you to try and DIY! It’s available at radchildrensfurniture.com. Foldable Pikler Triangle
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
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Lana Del Raygun says
Pikler triangles are “associated” with Montessori because parenting bloggers are determined to conflate everything involving wooden toys, but the Montessori Method is not the same as Pikler’s philosophy, which her student Magda Gerber developed into RIE/Educaring.
That being said I think the triangles are super cool! I would see if you can borrow one to try it before putting down money, because Mini Lana did not take to it at all, and I was the third or fourth person to borrow this particular friend’s triangle in a row without being able to interest her child in it. *sniff*
GCA says
I can’t comment on the orthodoxy of parenting philosophies, but I know a fair number of people whose pretty Pikler triangles are now pretty clothes racks!
avocado says
My kid ignored all the fancy toys designed for open-ended imaginative play (e.g., Bilibo). She preferred found objects such as the couch cushions, the step stool from the bathroom sink, and the bins out of which she had dumped all her toys.
Cat says
That sounds like it accomplishes the same goals (self-directed play) better and cheaper, albeit less fun for the parent (at least for me since I love buying fancy toys like a schmuck).
Clementine says
Uh, actual question here: I have no doubt that my children would be VERY interested in this, but how does one avoid having them dive headfirst off of it?
Or having one child literally rig up a diving board and flinging the other child off of it… My children are ‘naturally engineering minded’… or maybe they just are really creative at self destruction.
Anonymous says
I think you are supposed to let them learn from experience that diving off tall objects is a bad idea.
I decided against Montessori preschool when the administrator giving the tour explained that instead of having an established snack time, the teachers would set out a bowl of crackers with a sign suggesting a serving size. My kid would choose to eat the entire bowl of crackers without first washing her hands, then skip lunch.
Cb says
Haha! I have definitely arrived at my (not Montessori but similar style) nursery to find my son with the serving bowl of oranges on his lap. They do set snack and meals but it is family style so I’m pretty sure my son gets more than his fair share of fruit. One day they had to cut him off as they noticed he had two bowls of porridge in the garden, went inside and ate two bowls of cereal, and was nosing around for some bread as it came out of the oven. Like Six Dinner Sid.
Boston Legal Eagle says
“the teachers would set out a bowl of crackers with a sign suggesting a serving size.” – LOL, what? Even adults would have a hard time self-regulating and not eating the whole thing! I guess I am not very Montessori.
Anonanonanon says
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA yes I clearly would NOT thrive in a Montessori environment as an adult.
Anon says
I mean, I think the point is you learn as a kid and you can’t do it as an adult because you didn’t learn.
layered bob says
so in an AMI Montessori school, the teacher/guide would not set out anything for snack – the children prepare the snack themselves, beginning around age 2. So that does keep the serving sizes down because it’s a lot of work for a child to prepare a snack for themselves and others.
Many mornings that’s pretty much all my oldest (most food-oriented) child would do in a two or three hour work cycle – prepare snack, set the table, eat snack, clean up snack. When she became more adept at snack preparation we did have a couple instances where she ate everything she had prepared without leaving any for others, which is against the community norms, and her teacher intervened for several days to assist her in determining an appropriate serving size.
Anonymous says
This was an AMS school, so less pure in its adherence to Montessori ideology.
Anonymous says
I’m trying to get better at letting my kid go unless it is truly absolutely ridiculous. I’m cautious by nature because I have no coordination whatsoever. I have to remind myself (even at 4 years old), kiddo has better coordination than I do. And she’ll never be able to develop it if I don’t let her…
anon says
I’m not sure about Montessori, but our preschool did communal snack and it was in part a lesson in taking into consideration others, like if you take all your friends won’t get any. I’m sure the teachers were coaching them all the way though.
Anon says
Same question. I can’t just sit there and watch my kid fall off, which I guess you’re supposed to do.
Anonymous says
I should have named one of my kids Chip, due to that happening with her teeth. And not just once. It can work for a girl, no? I think she’s going to be a lucalibre wrestler when she is a little older.
Anon says
We do not have a Pikler triangle, but I take a similar approach to letting DD learn natural consequences. I will intervene if it looks like something likely to lead to an ER visit, but if it’s under 5 feet with no sharp corners in sight I generally let her be. At 18 months we found her climbing like a monkey up the outside of the stairs (well above 5 feet). Then there was the day she arranged an ottoman to climb up to the downstairs changing table to balance like a ballerina yogi to reach the basket of confiscated loot on the mantle above the fireplace. Or the time I was on a conference call (pre-covid) and turned to look to see her with her rocking horse balanced on top of a rubbermaid bin and standing on the horse like a circus performer rocking back and forth. And my sister wonders why I have so many grey hairs….
layered bob says
ha, yep! Our threshold is “meaningful risk of serious brain injury or death.” We don’t intervene if the risk is closer to “mild concussion, goose egg, chipped teeth or broken leg.” I’ve actually been surprised by how little my children have hurt themselves given the shenanigans they get up to – we haven’t even been to urgent care about anything yet (knock on wood). They have mild bruising and skinned elbows and knees pretty much all the time but I think kids can be better judges of their own abilities and risk tolerance than we sometimes give them credit for.
Anonymous says
There is no such thing as a mild concussion.
layered bob says
ok! Mild traumatic brain injury then. My kids have never had one but it’s within the acceptable level of risk for me!
anon says
I’d rethink the whole “I’m OK with a mild TBI” philosophy. The long-term effects of even “mild” head injuries are not great. Not saying you have to be a total helicopter parent but yikes.
Anonanonanon says
To me a broken leg is a HUGE deal? BUT this is a case of “good for you, not for me” and you’re not watching my kids so do you girl.
Cat says
I feel like these discussions always elide the fact that different kids are different. Sounds like your kids are good judges of their own abilities; not all kids are which is why some kids are so accident prone.
layered bob says
I was a competitive cheerleader for many years so I’m familiar with the risks of TBIs. And, I hate to do it, but no cheerleading, no football, no rugby for my kids; soccer I’m on the fence about.
But I’m not going to be even a little bit of a helicopter parent. I’m not going to rethink letting them climb as high as they are comfortable, simply because they might hit their heads *if* they fall. As you might guess from my other posts on this, we are big RIE/Montessori fans – no cribs (Montessori), no high chairs (RIE), just free ranging little kids being monkeys and figuring things out.
Your risk tolerance might be different, and that’s ok – this is what works for us! I share because I see posts sometimes worrying what to do about kids who climb/fall/get into mischief and I want to encourage the option of “do nothing, let them climb” for people who find that encouragement useful.
Spirograph says
I mean, kids can get concussed from a slip in the bathtub (friend’s kid did this recently), but I still let mine take a bath.
I’m with Anon and layered bob: am a terrible, laissez faire mom of 3 at this point. My bar is basically, “is there a hard surface or sharp corner underneath this perch, or are you more twice your height above a soft surface with significant chance of falling?” If no, climb on.
AnonLawyer says
I hate the way all this stuff is conflated. My baby is still a baby and it is important to me to avoid being a helicopter parent. But she likes her crib? It gives her plenty of space to roll around, which she doesn’t feel comfortable doing on the floor. And we both like her high chair – I’m a single mom, and it’s nice to be able to sit with her and have us both eat. I will absolutely give her food when she’s on the floor or in my lap too, but I find the idea that I’m somehow compromising her independence or being a helicopter parent by using normal stuff kind of annoying. Like, why is sitting at the table for a meal the same as hovering over her for any kind of injury?
Anonymous says
AnonLawyer, I agree that cribs, high chairs, and some other “baby containers” can actually increase independence and reduce the need for helicopter parenting. Your crib and high chair examples perfectly illustrate that.
Anon says
AnonLawyer, ditto! My twins were in cribs because it meant they could only chatter at each other from a couple feet away and thus would eventually sleep. I’m all for mattresses on the floor, but when you share a room with your best friend there’s just way to much potential for chaos. But I don’t follow them around the playground.
Ms B says
We knew it was time to send The Kid to ninja class when he was running along the back of the sofa.
Anonymous says
I have a nephew that must have gone to Special Forces PreK. I lived in an A-frame and was really sure I’d round the corner to find him rappelling off of the top of it. Aged 4.
avocado says
Anon @12:40, are we related? I have the same nephew but fortunately do not live in an A-frame. He climbs things I did not know could be climbed and is the reason my house is still babyproofed even though my daughter is 13. Every time we babysit, it takes all three of us to keep up with him.
layered bob says
Yep, came here to say this – Pikler triangles are NOT Montessori, and in fact RIE and Montessori are oppositional in certain important respects (which doesn’t keep us from using both).
We have a Pikler triangle – first kid did not take to it at all, second kid did and showed first kid how to use it for many different things and now all my kids love it and it is in constant use, but for the first couple years I was very sad no one used this large thing.
Paging DLC says
Hi – DLC made a comment the other day that “Here in DC there is a FB group for artists and performers who babysit or nanny on the side.” I was wondering if you’d share the name of the group? We’re in DC and doing split shifts for the foreseeable future but could definitely use some flexible help and always interested in supporting the artist/performer community in our city.
DLC says
Hi! Of course – it’s Artistic Babysitters for DC Parents.
Good luck!
Emotional Labor says
Like many heterosexual couples, my husband and I have fallen into a gendered division when it comes to the mental load. I’ve long resigned myself that I am primarily the one who keeps the list going on what we need to make our household work, and I assign things out.
Last night, my husband told me that he thinks he takes on more “emotional labor” because he listens to me talk about work daily. To be clear, it’s mostly me telling him a combination of what cases I’m working on, office gossip, etc. It’s not because I need advice: it’s more like I spend 8 hours/day working, and I want to share what happened in my day. It’s normally about 30 minutes of conversation.
I’m upset and hurt, and I don’t know how to explain to him that “emotional labor” isn’t listening to your spouse tell you about their day (unless it is, and I’m wrong?). Any resources?
Anonymous says
Neither handling the household logistics nor listening to your spouse vent is emotional labor. Emotional labor is “a situation where the way a person manages his or her emotions is regulated by a work-related entity in order to shape the state of mind of another individual, such as a customer”–e.g., having to smile and be polite to an abusive customer or client.
https://www.vogue.com/article/what-is-emotional-labor
Anon says
So I know that’s the way the sociologist who came up with the term intended it, but colloquially ’emotional labor’ to mean the unseen aspects of household logistics, as the OP uses here. Remembering that kid needs new rainboots and wears size 10, keeping track of the date swimming lesson registration opens do you can sign up in the first 10 minutes before all the weekend spots are taken, etc.
Anon says
He’s incorrect to call it emotional labor, but 30 minutes seems like a lot to talk about your workday?
Anonymous says
Right? I don’t want my work to occupy any more time than it does.
Anonymous says
Agree. It’s not emotional labor but I definitely can’t imagine having to listen to DH talk about his work day and office gossip for a half hour every day. A couple times a week maybe. I spread it out amongst DH, regular friends and office friends depending on the issue. With COVID I have a group text going with a few colleagues for work related ranting/venting.
NYCer says
Hate to pile on, but I agree. I have very little interest in hearing 30 min of office gossip, descriptions of what he is working on, etc from my husband every day. Once in a while if there is something really juicy I wouldn’t mind listening for 30 min (I am half kidding), but otherwise, I think 5 min max about day-to-day work stuff is enough.
Cb says
Oh, that sounds like a hard situation all around. I wonder if setting out some boundaries might help? My husband got into a pattern where he started the day telling me who was late and off sick, interjected throughout the day to tell me about annoying team members, and then ended the day worrying about the next. And it was a lot. Is there another way you can decompress together? Family or solo walk at the end of the day which serves as a ‘commute’?
Kristen Knapp says
So I guess I’m the odd one out. My husband and I definitely each talk about are days for 30 minutes each everyday. But we are both lawyers so we often have a discussion of a legal issue that could take 15 minutes or more. We probably don’t do it in one set chunk each day but it comes up in conversation throughout the evening. For example if we are walking with kiddo in the field I might try an argument out on him and he’d likely offer some thoughts. That’s easily 15-20 minutes.
Anon says
We do, too. We both identify strongly with our work on a personal level.
Pogo says
Yeah, same. We talk about work a lot but more like, “here is an issue I’m having, what should I do”. I have in recent years made much more of an effort to keep it equitable, and really listen when he’s talking and not jump in to offer my opinion if it is really just venting (he’s pretty good about doing this for me, so I’m working on trying to reciprocate better). We also discuss general career stuff with each other, like potential promotions or reorgs. He is my best friend and a super smart guy, so I value his opinion (and assume it is mutual, ha).
I do separately have a group text with my college friends for more nitpicking and venting and gossip that he wouldn’t care about (plus they all share their work drama and we commiserate). I do not gossip with work colleagues as a general rule, though in my 1:1’s with various colleagues we may touch on drama that is happening.
IHeartBacon says
That’s hard. My feelings would be pretty hurt if my husband said that catching up with me at the end of the day was emotional labor for him. I don’t think explaining to him that this is not emotional labor is the solution. There are two separate issues: (1) that he considers it work for him to listen to you vent and how that hurt your feelings and (2) that you do more emotional labor. For the first issue, this might be an issue of you two having differing ways of unwinding at the end of the day. For you, talking about your day probably helps you purge it; for him, he may prefer to decompress quietly when he first gets home. If so, the solution could be that you give him some quiet time before discussing your day. Or it could be something else. The only way you’ll know is to talk to him about it. For the second issue, good luck. I’m still trying to figure that one out myself.
Pogo says
+1. You need to understand why he feels that it is emotional labor to listen to you (Does he want you to reciprocate by listening to him? Does he need a certain amount of time between ending work and talking about it again? Does he need to fully unwind and not talk about work at all?) and try to honor his feelings.
I think COVID has made this SO much worse in a lot of ways because there is no work/life separation. Used to be we’d come home and make dinner and unwind and then maybe chat about our day. Now it’s neverending. This could be part of what he is feeling, too.
Emotional Labor says
Thank you for breaking it down that way.
DLC says
I think perhaps the two of you are getting caught up in the difference between “emotional labor” and “mental load”. To me, emotional labor is more personal and subjective because you can’t dictate each other’s emotional response to things, or place a value judgement on it; you are each going to feel what you are going to feel. I’ve taken mental load to be the more quantifiable tasks that take up my brain capacity- that is to say what I spend time thinking about doing rather than what I spend time feeling.
anon says
This is a really good distinction. I don’t feel like I take on lots of emotional labor; I do, at times, feel like I’m bearing more of the mental load and thinking about what needs to happen next.
Emotional Labor says
For sure. My post should have made clear: I’m not arguing that my mental load (eg finding a nanny, scheduling doctors appointments, etc) is the same as emotional labor. It’s more that it made his comment about his emotional load especially rankle and get under my skin.
Anonymous says
I’m with your husband here. I don’t want to hear my spouse griping about his job for half an hour every day, especially if I’m not allowed to engage in actual conversation.
Emotional Labor says
It’s not griping? It’s more like “Oh, I’m working on a new case about XYZ and it’s interesting because ABC”. But point taken about it being too long.
Anonymommy says
My husband and I both talk about work a lot and I’d be upset if he said this too.
Anonymous says
I think this is two issues- you’re talking more about your job every day than he wants to listen to, and he drew a reasonable boundary and you’re annoyed because you haven’t actually talked about what is bothering you or set Your own boundaries.
IHeartBacon says
This. Also, when someone sets a boundary against me, I’m usually hurt, but that doesn’t necessarily mean the boundary isn’t necessary.
Lana Del Raygun says
I just think “drawing boundaries” is a weird way to approach this as a married couple.
Anonymous says
Drawing boundaries is a totally fine way to approach something as a married couple. You can protect your own mental health and stress levels within your marriage. in sickness and in health includes your own health
Lana Del Raygun says
You should be able to collaboratively come to a solution. It’s rude to start out with “listening to you is too much work and I won’t do it.” A couple who can’t start out on a “look, this much work talk is really wearing on me; can we talk about how to cut back?” and goes straight to lines in the sand has bigger issues.
Anonanonanon says
Yea it would hurt my feelings if my husband worded it like this, but I seem to be in the minority. My husband and I work in related fields and in the same professional sphere, so things come up because we know the same people. However, I think the tone of the discussion makes a huge difference. When I had a job I was unhappy with, 30 minutes a day of me talking about work would have been miserable for him, but it doesn’t sound like that’s what you’re doing.
Lana Del Raygun says
You’re hurt because it is in fact rude af that he told you that your conversation is too much work for him. It sounds like you two need to have a conversation about a mutually-agreeable level of work talk at home, including you telling him that/why you’re hurt by what he said and/or how he said it.
DLC says
I agree with this. Bean counting emotional responses is neither possible nor supportive; there are probably more fundamental conversations to be had.
Anon says
Just to offer some perspective potentially from his side although it does not seem to totally apply to yours: there was a time when my husband was miserable at his job. This was pre-COVID, so our days were more hectic with working at an office; commuting; picking up, feeding, and putting to bed kids, etc. etc. etc. When the kids were finally down & chores were finally done, I had mayyyybe an hour at best before I had to go to bed myself, in other words that was my only down time of the day. That is when husband would launch into his stories about work. They were nightly, took forever, always in a super negative tone, and often just a slightly different bent on some same themes I had already heard about ad nauseum. In my world then, 30 minutes would have been half of my free time. I honestly couldn’t take it anymore, to the extent that I was at times relieved when he would go out with friends & I had the house to myself; & we even had to bring it up in therapy.
I realize this is not the same situation. It doesn’t sound like you are being negative (right?) which was a huge part of my issue. And hopefully you are not rehashing the same issues but in slightly different lights over and over again (?). And given COVID, depending on where you are, potentially you have more time in the evening together to spread this conversation out throughout the night than we did. But I just wanted to give the perspective from the other side & say I can at least sort of relate to where he is coming from.
Anonymous says
This also happened to me – my husband was unhappy about his job and would spend almost all of our downtime running through similar issues about the same cast of characters. Then when it was finally my turn to talk, he would start scrolling through his phone. gosh, it makes me mad again just thinking about it. that took us to couples’ therapy. we eventually settled on a timer – you can discuss work for 10 minutes, or hit a specific issue where you’d like my feedback on how to handle.
Anonymommy says
My husband and I talk about work a lot. If he said this I’d be annoyed too.
EB says
A kid at our daycare tested positive this week. The whole class is quarantined and the teachers will be getting tests, they reported to the health department and are following all recommendations regarding cleaning, etc. We talked about it a bit, and decided to continue sending our kids (who are not in the affected classes). We’re in a southern state with rapidly rising numbers. I’m an employment lawyer, so I have been walking people through employees testing positive for months, but this is the first one to affect me personally. I hate that I am putting my kids at risk and I hate that this is happening and I hate all the people who are not doing their part to help. Thank you for letting me vent. I am having a moment.
Anon says
Happened at ours with siblings who were in each of my kids classes (lucky us). Not only did the two kids who tested positive not spread it to kids in any other classes – they didn’t spread it to a single kid in either of their classes, and they were there at school with them positive for three days.
So honestly, I wouldn’t worry! I mean, it’s all anecdata, but I’m sure it’ll be fine. If we have other classes grind to a halt every time a kid tests positive it’s going to be a loooong fall. Don’t feel guilty!
(Kids who tested positive in both of my kids classes and their family were fine, phew)
EB says
Thank you very much for sharing this.
FP says
Ugh. I am at a daycare that reopened 6/1 and just shut down for 2 weeks because a teacher and a parent tested positive. It’s indeed going to be a very long fall if every positive test results in a two week shutdown. We got notice at 8 pm at night that we were shut down for two weeks. It’s brutal.
Pogo says
Wow, thanks for sharing this. I hadn’t heard of any positive cases in daycares so this is useful anecdata to hear.
Person with quarantined kids says
For further context, both kids picked it up from their grandmother (who is also fine – I know this family and I question how much she was social distancing – ugh)
Anon says
There’s no way there won’t be a ton more positive cases in daycares it’s completely unrealistic to assume this. It’s a risk source like anything else and just go into it eyes wide open.
Anonanonanon says
NPR had a great article looking at all of the daycares that continued to operate for the children of essential workers in NYC and the VERY VERY low level of cases there. There was almost no spread and VERY little evidence of the few children who did get it spreading it to their parents. I recommend reading it, it certainly made me feel a bit better about everything.
IHeartBacon says
Also, the AAP just released a statement last week on guidance for school re-entry that you may want to read. It was comforting to read because the AAP flat out said that no single action will completely eliminate the risk, but policies can help greatly eliminate the risk. The guidance took the approach of weighing the risk of transmission versus the risk of not sending children back to school. I think a lot of us on this site have discussed the negative mental and emotional impacts this pandemic was having on our children, and it was nice to see the pediatric medical community discussing it and taking it into consideration in issuing its guidance (and not just “taking it into consideration,” but actually using it as the basis for its guidance). I think the issue of sending kids back to school or daycare is two parts. First (and the threshold issue) is what is the medical community saying about it? Second, what is your personal risk tolerance? I feel like this whole time parents were just left to their own to jump to what their personal risk tolerance is without getting much guidance from the pediatric medical community.
https://services.aap.org/en/pages/2019-novel-coronavirus-covid-19-infections/clinical-guidance/covid-19-planning-considerations-return-to-in-person-education-in-schools/
Eek says
How stressful, I’m sorry! I have so much rage at people who aren’t doing their part too. I try to keep perspective but it’s so frustrating.
Anon says
i do not think you should feel badly. where i live, two teachers tested positive in different classes. that plus the fact that i live in an area that has recently become a hot spot, led the daycare to close for two weeks out of an abundance of caution. to me this more underscores the fact that daycare will likely not be as reliable this coming year as it typically is, rather than anything you are doing wrong in terms of putting your kid at risk
Anonymous says
I’m pissed, too. It’s not fair (but it IS our reality) that some folks are not taking this as seriously as others and that it has collateral impacts. Our daycare/pre-school, which was highly recommended and has handled a lot of stuff really well in our limited time with them, is handling this terribly. We are in a hotspot.
Long story short, we heard through RUMORS on a Sunday that teachers and kids were COVID+. Those were enough for us to pull out DS to see how things played out over the next week. The school waited until mid-week to confirm the rumors via an e-mail, and then it also turned out both of DS teachers tested COVID+ as well as another kid in his class. This was all last week, and his room will re-open tomorrow. It just feels like they aren’t taking the most cautious steps, even with the lower risk to kids/teachers when precautions like masks, temps, etc. are being taken. It isn’t clear of a COVID(-) test is required for folks to return to the school. I asked if we can pay a reduced amount given that many parents will keep kids home during this surge and have received no response.
I’m pissed. I know it’s not ALL on the daycare as the rules to navigate the pandemic are generally are all over the place, but it feels like the school not fully understanding the gravity of what is happening in our city and are taking shortcuts to justify full tuition.
Anonymous says
That is incredibly stressful. I am curious if you’re saying that they’re not taking precautions (like masks and temperature checks) or they are and you think they should take more.
anon says
My kid has been back in daycare for 2 weeks and we’ve already managed to lose several of her masks. As if I needed more sh!t to keep track of. I have torn apart the car, the house, and her bedroom looking for them. No dice. They’re not at daycare, either, so I haven’t a clue where they might be because we don’t go anywhere!
OK, now that I have that rant out of the way: Has anyone had good luck with the multipacks that major retailers are offering, like Old Navy or Crayola? The lost masks were $10 a pop on etsy, which adds up fast. Both of my kids will need them for school this fall, so I’d like to get a handle on this soon.
Boston Legal Eagle says
The 5 pack from Old Navy works pretty well for my 4 year old. They’re not slipping off his nose like some other ones that we got.
Anonanonanon says
I haven’t even thought about this, but what a nightmare. My son loses at least one coat a year (HOW? AN ENTIRE COAT) so I can’t even imagine what it will be like when he has to keep up with masks.
Anonymous says
I know! Or they are missing for 2 weeks. In winter. So then we own many coats.
I binge ordered some buffs and then did it again in my sleep, so we are set for a while at least.
Anon says
Hahahaha alll the commiseration.
My DD loves her masks so will probably hang on to them (she loves accessories, these are just another one). DS is never going to hold on to them – he’s that kid who constantly is wearing one mitten in the freezing cold and doesn’t notice.
anon says
Hahaha, that is my kid, too. I don’t get it.
Anonymous says
Could you tie it around them with a piece or yarn? I’m thinking like a mitten string but obviously don’t want to do something that could be a strangulation hazard on the playground. Hmm…
Anonymous says
I bought some mitten hooks from Amazon that I’m planning to attach to my kids’ shirts when they go back to school. I also started using them myself when I wear dresses without pockets :)
I think neck garters are the answer at least for kids that are elementary aged, but I haven’t bought any yet, so keen to hear reviews.
anon says
I ordered some from Old Navy in early May and have not received them yet.
Anonymous says
Now that major retailers are carrying small/kids masks, I’m trying to remember to pick up a couple when I am out. Target has basic 2-packs for fairly cheap, but you are limited in the number you can buy. The neck gaiters work pretty well too, Amazon has a bunch.
Anon says
Consider disposable masks? Obviously the cost will add up but I don’t think it’s as stressful. It’s like using tissues instead of handkerchiefs.
CPA Lady says
I got my kid two 5-packs of old navy ones and they’re my favorites for her. It took a while to ship but I got them both within the last few weeks. I got husband a 5 pack of the adult ones. I’m probably going to order myself a 5 pack of the kids ones too, since my face is small enough that most adult masks don’t fit well on me.
Anonymous says
We use masks that tie behind our heads. Given that they need to be tied, they probably aren’t ideal for young kids (even my 8 year old can’t tie behind his head well), but they are comfortable (no ear pain) and easy to wear around your neck when not in use. If you can find some with elastic straps that go around the head, that might be a good solution. Ours are homemade so no advice re: shopping. The only downside is they mess with your hair.
Anonymous says
Adding my comment too. The Old Navy ones work well for my 5 year old. Also, the shipping has improved recently.
Anonymous says
Does anyone here read Ask a Manager? She addressed a question about someone feeling uncomfortable asking other people to wear their masks, correctly, etc, and included this passage, which I thought was FASCINATING:
I often think that I benefitted tremendously from an activism job I had in my 20s, where part of my job was literally to make scenes. To call attention to animal abuse, I disrupted large events by standing on chairs, shouting, and unfurling massive banners; I crashed private events dressed as a giant chicken; I tossed pies; I went naked in “rather go naked than wear fur” protests. Before every single one of these, I secretly panicked and felt like I was going to have a heart attack. It’s scary to deliberately disrupt the social contract! We’ve been trained since childhood not to do it, and it took a lot of mental work to force myself to overcome all those instincts to Not Make A Scene. But doing it got me comfortable with causing a public spectacle — and as a result, “would you mind moving six feet back?” seems a lot easier.
Anonanonanon says
I read it but didn’t catch that one yet! Very interesting, I knew she was involved in nonprofit work but I didn’t realize it was that!
I am horrible in these situations. I freeze, and I don’t know why. I don’t struggle in a professional context with delivering uncomfortable messages, but out in the world I just can’t do it.
Lana Del Raygun says
Yes! This is also why I think women should take female-focused self-defense, not just martial arts (even with contact sparring) because I think it makes a big difference to practice lower levels of self-assertion like saying “Back up!” and “Don’t touch me!” I did a workshop like that in highschool after a couple years of karate and I was taken aback by how nervous it made me, even just for practice.
Anonymous says
This also matters a lot in the Black Lives Matter movement, too. We all need to be comfortable disrupting problematic behavior (racist jokes, calling the police on “suspicious” behavior). And it takes practice. My husband practices actively pushing back on things he disagrees with in more minor contexts. It makes him more skilled when it matters. (I am not as good at it, but I also try.)
Amelia Bedelia says
I asked this question on the main page, but looking for all help on this one.
Recommendation for investment advisor? Look for a woman in the DMV.
Have about 250k that I need to wisely invest long-term.
TIA
Anon says
Care to share your 8-10 year old’s favorite books?
Anonanonanon says
Boy, off the top of my head, he likes/liked:
-The Warriors series (something about clans/tribes of cats?)
-Goosebumps (ugh)
-The Adventurer’s Guide series
-The Graveyard Book (Neil Gaiman)
-Mr. Popper’s Penguins
I also ordered a lot of the Newbury Award winners at the beginning of quarantine and he really enjoyed them. He particularly liked Hatchet, The Giver, Holes, The Westing Game, and the Thief. I thought he’d like the mixed up files of Mrs. Basil E Frankweiler but he didn’t seem that into it.
In terms of Newbury-type books, I liked The Witch of Blackbird Pond and Number the Stars at that age. Also, I remember getting the book “Running Out of Time” at the book fair and that my 4th grade self found it quite the exciting read.
Anonanonanon says
Oh! Also the “I Survived” series has been a hit with him.
lsw says
My stepdaughter is not a big reader, but towards the later end of your range she really enjoyed the Percy Jackson books.
I was a huge reader at that age and I don’t know if any of these would catch your kid’s fancy:
Redwall series
Lloyd Alexander – Chronicles of Prydain; Vesper Holly series
Gone Away Lake
all of the Oz books (great series, beyond just The Wizard of Oz)
Roald Dahl? great age for that
Some of those titles might be a little out of fashion which is why I recommended them – just to go back a little farther!
lsw says
Oooh another favorite from that age, The Perilous Gard
Ms B says
The Kid loves The Bad Guys series, the Princess in Black series, Kung Pow Chicken, and anything Dav Pilkey. On the more advanced end, he read his way through the Monster Notebook series and most of the My Weird School books. He still loves the Richard Scarry compendia, as well as National Geographic’s 5000 Weird Facts.
Anonymous says
My son just turned 8 and likes the My Weird School series and Diary of a Wimpy Kid. He still enjoys Dogman some too. For nonfiction, he’s really into The Animal Book: A Visual Encyclopedia of Life on Earth.
Anonymous says
Harry Potter series. My 8 year old plowed through the whole series in the last couple months. She was aghast that people used to have to wait like a year for each book to come out.
Anon says
for the pregnant moms yesterday. i just wanted to share that one of my best friends who is a pediatrician started her older son back in daycare when it reopened and has a 1 month old at home. her risk tolerance might be a bit different, since she was working up until her due date, and she did not have to choose whether to send her son prior to the baby being born, since school closed down. i know this is just one person and one data point, but thought i would share if anyone finds it helpful to hear what a pediatrician is actually doing. just to note – she is not in an area that was a hot spot or is now a hot spot
Anonymous says
I am going for a walk in a few minutes because I need a break. My younger kid has been in daycare for a total of 7 days over the last three weeks (we have him in part-time) and he has a low fever today, which is stressing me out. Nurses say it’s probably just a (not-corona)virus, but he and his brother are home until we know more.
Plus, someone I mentor didn’t get an opportunity that she worked really hard for. Someone we know (with little kids) died unexpectedly (not COVID). Police killings of black men are crushing me. I have two little boys, and I cannot imagine that pain and struggle of worrying that my kids will be killed just for how they look. It’s unfair that moms have to deal with that on top of the typical worry and pain of motherhood. Right now is a lot. I am sad and I wanted to tell people.
avocado says
Hugs. That is a whole lot piled on you at once.
lsw says
Hugs. Glad you can take even a tiny mini break. Hang in there.
Climber says
Huge fan of the pikler triangle , got mine from https://Montessoriclimber.com
James A Hamilton says
Order from woodandhearts.com instead. The prices are cheaper and when we ordered from montessoriclimber.com we actually received product from Wood and Hearts!
pikler triangle says
We have a baby boy and 2 years ago my wife and me ordered a pikler triangle because we knew that the Montessori education is as important as school education. But the pikler triangle we have is not foldable and covers a lot of space. we are now planning to buy another one which is foldable and we can easily pack it if anytime we move to another city.
Alison says
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