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Sales of note for 12.7.23…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – Holiday sale up to 50% off; up to 40% off selected designer styles
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Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 60% off sitewide; holiday deals $5+; up to 70% off clearance
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- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off your purchase with code; up to 60% off present picks
- Old Navy – 50% off pants for the family; clearance styles from $2.99; 30% off your order, even clearance
- Pottery Barn Kids – Holiday sale up to 50% off; free shipping on 1000s of items
- Target – BOGO 50% off select toys; 30% off kids’ & toddler sleepwear; buy 2 get 1 free kids’ books
Anon says
I feel like this is something I should have figured out by now, but I haven’t, so don’t blast me?
I have a 5 year old and I’m 8 weeks pregnant. She’s very smart, intuitive, articulate. We haven’t told her yet and probably will closer to 10-12 weeks. Next scan is at 10 weeks so we’ll see how I’m feeling and maybe we tell her then… not sure. Anyway, how do you answer in an age-appropriate way, “how did the baby get in your belly?” or any variation thereof?
Our style tends to be more direct/honest than not, but this is one I’ve not had to think through yet. TIA.
Cb says
I don’t have a second but I just explained where babies came from to my son, and could definitely used a book/diagram to explain. My son crouched down to try and examine…
So any book recs very welcome…
AwayEmily says
Kids were 4 and 6 when we started talking about this (I was pregnant). We told them that you need two things to make a baby: a sperm from a father and an egg from the mother. When you combine those two things, it can make a baby. This was a satisfying answer to both of them, and we also had some interesting talks about how women have all the eggs they will ever have when they are born, but men make new sperm all the time. If they had had follow-up questions about how the sperm got in there, I would have told them the details (a conversation I have since had with my now-7-yo).
Anon says
I have an only child so I’ve never been pregnant around her, but I’ve given this explanation to my 5 year old when she asked how babies were made and she was satisfied. The other day she asked how two women can have a baby together so we said that a doctor can give you the sperm so one of the moms can grow the baby and she thought that was super cool and wants to have a baby with her best friend that way, ha.
anon says
My kids know they came from sperm that was mixed with Mommy’s eggs in a petri dish and I’m pretty sure they think that’s how all babies are made, just that for hetero couples the sperm comes from the dad, not bought online.
Anon says
We started this way with my then-5yo (I was pregnant, too). However, he is a very curious boy who kept asking follow ups (“how does the sperm get in you? Does it go in your mouth?”) so we kept going. I made the answers short and factual, but he got the whole PIV explanation. And he wasn’t phased at all!
Personally, I’m glad to have told him early; I plan to tell all my kids before age 7 because kids learn/see things from peers very early these days
Anon says
*fazed. Hate when I make this mistake ;)
Anon says
yup, thats the answer i’ve given to my almost 5 year old twins. and it seems to satisfy them. then they want to know how bones are made, which when you actually think about how this sperm and egg manage to combine to build all of our organs and bones, its kind of nuts, but i think my kids wanted a more exciting answer about how to make bones
Chl says
Our UU congregation uses ‘It’s So Amazing’ and ‘it’s not the stork’’ for first graders and I think both would be good here.
Anonymous says
Yes we used these starting at age 4 when we got questions.
octagon says
We have had good luck with books – try It’s Not the Stork.
Anonymous says
Started conversations with dads stuff mixed with moms and it grows in the mom. Frankly, I think kiddo thought it was mixed in some sort of baby kitchen for quite some time. We have the book It’s Not the Stork, which we read together. Highly recommend. Focuses on baby growth, and how girls and boys are the same/different. One paragraph discusses p+v, in an age appropriate way.
Anonymous says
Daddy has sperm and mommy has eggs and sometimes together those make a baby. Daddy put his penis inside mommy’s vagina and that’s how the baby was made.
OP says
Thanks for responses so far. I don’t think it really matters (for now) but this is also an IVF baby. Nothing traditional about how this came to be. That’s almost certainly a bridge too far for her age but we often joke to ourselves and say “yay science!”.
Do you all agree we stay away from that for now?
Anonymous says
Nope! I’m doing IVF with donor sperm and plan to always talk about it. “Sometimes a mommy and daddy make a baby but not always! We had a doctor help us out. They mixed mommy’s egg and daddy’s sperm and when a baby started to grow they put it inside mommy!”
Anon says
I have a donor conceived three-year-old and yes, I’ve talked about it with her since day one and even shown her the picture of her 5-day embryo at transfer. And we’ve met a couple of donor siblings, seen pictures, etc.
I think it’s less crucial if it’s “just” IVF but no real reason to keep it a secret if it comes up unless you don’t want other people in the family to know and she might blab.
Anonymous says
Omg you get a picture! I’m excited about this
Anon says
Yes! Make sure to ask for it if they don’t offer it up. I love having her on record as a blastocyst. It’s in her baby book.
Anon says
My favorite thing about my blastocyst photo is that it’s a single clump of cells that 24 hours later split into the 2 embryos that became my twins.
anon says
I don’t see why you stay away from it. We certainly told our 3 yo about all the “help” we needed from doctors to make him. No reason to get more detailed than that unless there are questions.
Btw for these purposes I like the book What Makes a Baby. It is way way way more inclusive and less heteronormative than the other recs made here, and specifically makes space in its language for fertility treatments.
anon says
I commented above, but my kids have known from age 3ish that they came from IVF, so I don’t see any reason why that’s not okay to mention now.
Anonymous says
It’s not the Stork covers both PiV and IVF scenarios. My daughter (around 7/8) asked after reading—did you and dad do PiV or were the sperm and egg combined in a dish? Haha
DLC says
There was a really great discussion on the Puberty Podcast that talked about separating sex from pregnancy/babies. I thought they had a good point about how in emphasizing that babies come from sperm and egg, it makes parenthood a little more inclusive but also takes away some of the stigma involved with sex.
Anonymous says
Does anyone have suggestions for toddler boys bathing suits that don’t have a mesh liner but are narrow enough for no swim diaper? My potty trained kid gets a rash easily with mesh but the ones I keep trying without mesh are too wide.
Cb says
Oh we had H&M ones and they don’t have mesh. Try some of the eco brands as well. Frugi doesn’t have mesh.
AwayEmily says
Look for swim trunks (the form-fitting kind) rather than the loose shorts. Both my kids will only wear those. We get them from Primary, H&M, and UV skinz. Sometimes you luck out and they have them at Target, too. The primary ones are shorter than I’d like, but they are fine.
Anon318 says
Another plug for Primary – they tend to fit my skinny kid better than any others I’ve found. I don’t know how old your kiddo is, but mine now prefers jammers over trunks or swim shorts because they don’t slow him down :)
Anon says
Can you just cut out the lining if you otherwise like them?
OP says
I thought about that but I thought that could be weird sans diaper
Anon says
I don’t know how small they go, but for future the Eddie Bauer ones are the best. They have a silky liner instead of mesh and my boys find them very comfortable.
anon says
my skinny toddler has a hanna anderson baby rash guard one piece swim suit with no liner. he wore a swim diaper with it last summer but it potty trained now and and still works sans-diaper. he’s super pale so I like the coverage too.
Cb says
I’ve never had to pack lunches before and have had to with camps this week. How many days of smoked salmon in a tortilla can I get away with? I mixed it up with a tahini and honey sandwich.
So grateful for free school lunches.
Anon says
Does your kid care? My kid eats mini corn dogs or chicken tenders literally every day for school lunch in a little thermos. We had a stretch this winter where she had a peanut butter sandwich for dinner every night for 3 straight weeks, at her specific request. If your kid doesn’t care, save your energy for another battle.
Cb says
I think he’s fine, he is quite specific about what he wants it packed in – a mibento box that for some reason he associates with pre-pandemic adventures – but as long as there is sufficient quantity, he’s pretty chill. Which is good, because we’re doing a home swap in Lisbon this summer and he’ll go to decamp there. I’ll be packing whatever the portuguese bakery has to offer…
Anonymous says
Yours is old enough I’d engage him. I got away with pb&j for four years and he’s requested no more of that. So now we do dinner leftovers or some sort of charcuterie: meat, cheese, crackers, nuts for fat and protein. Actually last week I started letting him buy school lunch a couple of times a week and we’re both very happy with that option.
Cb says
My kingdom for a PB&J. All his camps are nut free.
We send snacks to school and he tends to have requests for those. The school lunch isn’t bad, his favourite is the chicken dinner, which is chicken, roast potatoes, and mushy peas (bleh…) It seems like most parents make use of it as it’s free, and the packed lunch kids sit at a different table.
Anon says
My kids actually prefer sunbutter and jam sandwiches — have you tried it?
Spirograph says
+1 to sunbutter. It is 2-3x the cost of peanut butter, but my kids like it just as much, if not more.
Anon says
the answer is sunbutter. We send sunbutter and jelly four days a week. Sorry kiddo! Other meals have variation, but not lunch at school!
Cb says
I can’t buy it in the UK :( I’ve made my own but tahini seems to do the trick.
Anon says
Send the same lunch every day if that’s what he wants — why not repeat?
TheElms says
I wouldn’t worry to much. You can send the same thing every day for a week for sure. I have to pack lunch and snack every day and there isn’t a lot of variety in what I send. Snack is usually one of cheese/yogurt with apple/pretzels/spinach muffin (if I’ve made any). Lunch is one of pbj/bagel with cream cheese/salami and crackers with a fruit and a vegetable (usually sometimes its a second fruit or something else random). I’m pretty sure as a kid I ate pbj, apple, carrot sticks, and a cookie everyday for lunch from about 2nd through 6th grade.
Spirograph says
So grateful for free OR paid school lunches, as long as I don’t have to pack them. When I had to pack lunches every day, I had a main course rotation of pbj, homemade lunchables, mac & cheese, and bean burritos (mac & cheese and beans were in a thermos) + one day of dinner leftovers my kids weren’t offended to have for lunch.
But for just a week? if your kid doesn’t care, go on autopilot with the same thing every day. It’s not worth the mental effort to be creative
Boston Legal Eagle says
Random but any time I feel “bad” about giving my kids the same lunch every single day (pb&j sandwich – their favorite), I remember that our head accountant at a F500 used to (maybe still does) have a pb&j sandwich for lunch everyday. Very smart, competent guy, obviously successful. Food is just food and we don’t have to have variety or anything fancy. I have the same kind of sandwich everyday at home too.
Anonymous says
“Food is just fuel for your body” is my husband’s constant refrain to our kids when they try to get whiney about what we’re having for dinner.
Anonymous says
When I meal-prep salads, I usually eat the same lunch about three days in a row. If he’s not complaining don’t mess with what works!
Isabella says
Our daycare center drops down to one nap around the babies first birthday, which seems early. I’m a concerned LB isn’t getting enough sleep. In the evenings he cries at every little thing and wants to go to bed at 7. During spring break he easily went right back to a 2 nap schedule.
How would you bring this up to the daycare teachers? Any advice?
Anon says
This is really normal and yeah it’s rough for some kids. The good news is that it’s a very short term issue – many kids aren’t ready at 12 months but are by 15-16 months, so you’re looking at an issue that’s unlikely to last more than a few months. I wouldn’t raise it with the teachers, it’s probably a school policy.
Anon says
this is good advice, unfortunately. the nap schedules change so frequently and we’ve also successfully had different schedules on the weekends than the weekdays.
AwayEmily says
Yeah, it will be a tough two months but probably by 14-ish months he’ll be able to handle it. I would also try putting him to bed even earlier than 7…during that period mine would often go to bed as early as 6:30.
Anonymous says
We ran into this too. We just dealt with it with earlier bedtimes during the week, and did two naps on weekends for a month or so. I wouldn’t bring it up. The schedule is the schedule for the room, and they can’t have one kid napping and everyone else running around. They explained to me that dropping one nap works because everyone in the room is doing their thing, whereas at home, we have a slower pace and not as activity focused so our LO got more visibly tired without the momentum of others, if that makes sense. Also agree that this a short-term issue. My youngest is 10 months and TBH I can’t wait to be done to 1 nap for her.
Anonymous says
Unless he’s at an in-home, I doubt this is something day care can change just for you, so I would just put him to bed early until he adjusts to one nap. My twins still go to bed by 7 and they’re two. You can also do two naps on the weekends for a while – I did that with my oldest and it didn’t bother him to switch schedules. I know it’s hard to have a grumpy baby the only time you’re together but it doesn’t last long. And once he adjusts you can do a lot more stuff together on the weekends!
Anonymous says
You probably can’t change the daycare system. I mean, you can ask, but don’t be surprised. It will probably be less than ideal for your kid for a while and that is actually not the end of the world! (Took me two kids to learn that.) I had one kid who was happily doing two naps until 17 mo when he switched to a one nap center and… it wasn’t ideal but within a few months it was ok. Our other child started at that center at 12 mo and was also ok, although my preference would’ve been stay with two naps another six months. If everything else about the center is good it’s not worth switching over. Also, 7 pm is a pretty typical bedtime – many kids that age ot newly one napping kids go to bed earlier.
An.On. says
I’m doing our first swim class with my 2 year old at the local YMCA – anything I should know before we go? I’ll have swim diapers and towels, and a change of clothes. Should I have them wear the swimsuit there? Do I need to bring a lock? If husband comes to a class, is it better to have him come to the first class or to a later class?
GCA says
I don’t think it has to be super complicated!
If you live near the Y, wear the diaper and swimsuit there. If not, change when you get there and budget time appropriately. Those swim diapers don’t absorb pee, they’re there as a barrier between poop and pool.
If two parents are there, one gets in the pool with kid, then the other takes kid to wash up post-swim while the pool parent changes. It simplifies things a bit. But it’s pretty easy to go solo if you have one kid who can stand on their own in the shower.
I have a lock for the lockers, but have honestly never used it in the family changing room, I have nothing to steal but high-quality Trader Joe’s snacks.
Spirograph says
Double the amount of time you think you need to get changed afterward. Bring an extra towel for your kid to sit/stand on in the locker room. Not so much because the floor is gross (although it is), but because you can say “stay on the towel” and hopefully minimize any wandering.
I’ve never used a lock on YMCA lockers; I typically leave my phone and wallet in the car and just bring the swim bag in.
anonM says
Bring a bag for all the wet stuff. I’d also grab a non-messy snack to have handy, like a granola bar. Once DS got so hangry we got out of the pool, he ate two bites and then he happily went back swimming. Also YMMV, but I do bring kid body wash/shampoo because the place we go only has normal non-tear-free soap. (DS yelled about the “burn soap” so I try to avoid that embarrassing scene from repeating lol).
Anonymous says
I’d suggest that the change of clothes you bring for kiddo are very loose fitting (sweatpants > leggings). It’s hard to get kiddo all the way dry and baggier clothes go on damp bodies easier. We have kiddos wear suits and swim diapers to the pool. We are a ten-minute drive; if kiddo were younger and filling diapers more frequently, or if drive was longer, we’ve done a swim diaper with regular diaper on top and just remove the top diaper when we arrive.
Anon says
We always changed at the pool at that age. Swim diapers let pee through, which you may not want on your or in the carseat.
Anon says
Does anyone here homeschool or some other non-traditional schooling for their kiddos? I have a one year old, and maybe this is anxiety talking, but I am thinking about opting to homeschool her if g*n laws/culture don’t change by the time she’s old enough. I swear I’m not a religious weirdo. It would mean cutting our HHI in half, but we could adjust. It seems very radical to me and I’m sure there are lots and lots of cons I haven’t considered. But I just can’t imagine sending her to school.
Anon says
This is anxiety talking. You should see your doctor and ask about a referral to therapy and/or meds.
Anonymous says
Yes this is anxiety talking and your child is no where near school age. Please don’t start, now, planning to throw your career away and deprive your child of trained teachers, socialization with other kids, and independence from you.
Anon says
I don’t disagree that this is anxiety talking, but it’s inaccurate to imply that a child will become an uneducated, smothered recluse if homeschooled. As the poster below laid out, different kids thrive with different school options.
I am a big proponent of public schools, but my son’s second grade teacher seems to spend the whole day managing discipline issues and has basically told me that my son isn’t learning anything new this year, but he’s so bright she’s not worried and he’ll make it up with gifted and talented next year.
Now, there’s a whole host of reasons and benefits that public school is right for my family right now, but I have no doubt that he’d actually learn more home with me, and there’s plenty of options for socializing homeschooled kids (coops, extra curriculars, camps, and many other activities that a family with 12 free hours every day can make happen).
Anonymous says
I’ve never met a homeschooler who wasn’t incredibly weird.
HSAL says
Then you haven’t met very many. I’ve met a ton and they’re definitely more likely to be weird than non, but it’s silly to suggest that every single homeschooled kid will be “incredibly weird.”
Anon says
Same…BUT I suspect the weirdness has more to do with the fact that most homeschoolers are from fundamentalist religious families than about the homeschooling itself. I think if more “normal” people homeschooled then there would be more normal homeschooled kids, you know?
Anon says
Yeah but there are also sound reasons “normal” people don’t usually homeschool.
Anon says
For sure, I would never in a million years homeschool. I think it would be a disaster for both me and my kids. I’m just questioning the implication that homeschooling leads to weird kids. I think it’s hard to separate correlation from causation here.
Anonymous says
That’s at least in part because you’re old. I’m the poster below who was homeschooled and it was illegal at the time I was in elementary school. So yeah pretty much only fundamentalists did it because it could legitimately lead to your kids being taken away. That’s not the case anymore. I also think in the 90s many people homeschooled their kids who were on the spectrum because there were fewer accommodations for them in public education. At least that’s my observation from living in Texas. In general I think the weird homeschooler stereotype stems from lack of socialization (again, one reason we decided homeschooling wasn’t for us). I think today you have many options to homeschool and socialize your children. I just don’t think the “don’t homeschool your kids: they’ll be weird” argument holds water anymore. And I fully admit I’m a weird person, but homeschooling actually gave me the freedom to embrace my weirdness. I never had to fit into a mold of what a little
girl is supposed to be because I had no peers for reference (I only have brothers). I mean I had friends who also homeschooled but we were kind of a band of misfits. Ok end of rant.
anonM says
One person’s weird is another person’s independent thinker
Anonymous says
I was homeschooled and so was my spouse. So I’m definitely not against it in principle. I considered it when my oldest was young. What I didn’t know then was how social he is. I think he would have a hard time homeschooling unless we were in a coop where he could see other kids often (not just his siblings either). He just turned 6 and is finishing up his first year of public kindergarten. Public school has been a really good experience for us so far. My main caution to you is that proper homeschooling is a ton of work: more work than any job I’ve had. You need to be constantly learning or refreshing the material and you need to be comfortable hopping from subject to subject, especially if you’re teaching more than one kid. And you need to be “on” all day, which I find draining. I’d say keep an open mind but also look into the schools in your area. Ours are definitely not perfect but much better than I expected.
Anonymous says
It is, actually, terrifying. But there are soooooo many benefits to school – I had always kind of pooh-poohed kindergarten but having my kid essentially home schooled for kindergarten due to Covid made me realize there is a TON of social-emotional learning that happens at school. Guess what, we missed it. It is so valuable to my children to have a lot of other adults in their lives, hear different perspectives than mine, have both deep friendships and a lot of acquaintances, and learn subjects I’m not equipped to teach. They learn how to handle themselves away from parents, how to respond to different types of teachers, etc. Listen, my kids have gone to Jewish schools so this has always been a huge worry for us, but it’s not worth not going to school.
Anon says
+1 to all this also Jewish, we go to public K-12 school but attend services and Sunday school at a synagogue.
Anon318 says
I was homeschooled 2nd-8th grade and it was a wonderful experience. There are four main reasons a family chooses to homeschool: (1) Education – the parents feel homeschooling will offer the best academic environment for the child. (2) Environment – the parents want to provide a different environment for the child than school will (e.g., to avoid exposure to an environment that conflicts with the family’s values, an unsafe school environment, etc.). (3) Sports/other specialized skill – the flexibility provided by homeschooling allows the child to focus on a chosen sport or skill. (4) Family Flexibility – the family wants to travel, doesn’t believe in traditional schooling (e.g., unschooling approach), etc. Generally speaking, homeschooling families tend to succeed primarily in the area of your underlying reason for homeschooling. Therefore, if your reason for homeschooling is to keep her safe from gun violence in schools, you will certainly succeed by this measure. However, it is possible she would receive a better education in school. Only you and your support system can weigh the pros and cons.
As an aside, homeschooling families can certainly overcome the objections related to lack of socialization and extra-curricular activities, you will just need to work to ensure your goals for your child are realized in these areas. The logistics are often simpler in a school setting.
TL;DR – Homeschooling can be a wonderful choice for many families, but make sure you like your reasons enough that, if only the goal behind that reason is achieved, you feel like you have chosen the option that serves your child and family best.
anonM says
It is scary to think about your kiddo going to school in light of recent events. My aunt homeschooled my cousins, so here’s a few things to consider. She had an education degree and is excellent with kids, so for them it worked. If you don’t have that background, it’ll take learning on your end. However, she did not homeschool her youngest in part because the youngest didn’t have a close-in-age sibling to “do school” with. They also were involved extensively in a homeschool group so that the kids could take music lessons, drama class, etc. — things tough to do with just your own kids. For your safety concerns, a group like this would still be large and a theoretical risk, but without it I think homeschooling would be much harder as a parent as well as for kids. Also, you say you’re not religious. But, I’d take a look in your area at homeschool groups. Many are very religious or consist of very religious families, so consider whether you want that to be your kids’ main socialization. Finally, I know this is very tangental/long term but to me, being a SAHP and homeschooling is a huge amount of dedication. If you’re doing that, I’d really consider at least having an antenuptial or similar agreement with your partner. Last I checked, at least one state limits alimony to a certain number of years (I think IN was 3, which seems very unfair if someone homeschools the children.) . If I gave up my career and homeschooled (involving a lot of prep/planning work on my end), I’d want as much protection as possible.
Anon says
It’s anxiety. First the odds of anything happening at school are vanishingly low. Second, the same thing could happen anywhere else. Schools aren’t uniquely dangerous in America.
To be clear in 100% for gun control and absolutely devastated by all the school shootings we’ve seen. But not a reason to homeschool.
Anon says
Yeah, I’m kind of confused by the fear of sending kids to school (which I’ve seen expressed here by many people, not just OP). My understanding is that your kid is just as likely to get shot at a mall or movie theater as at school. So unless you’re planning to never let your child go in public, which seems like not a healthy way to live to put it mildly, I’m not sure how much this mitigates risk. I’m also very pro-gun control and have done advocacy work on behalf of gun regulations, and I consider myself a somewhat anxious person in general, but truthfully this is just not something I worry about. Something like 1 in 10 million kids will die of intentional gun violence. While that is too high on the whole, the risk to your particular child is vanishingly low. For reference, 1 in 15,000 people will be struck by lightning in their lifetime.
Spirograph says
I 100% agree with you, and part of my self talk when I get antsy about a school shooting is “we’re just as likely to get shot at a grocery store or a movie theater” but holy @#$(* is that a dark place! I do think it’s extremely reasonable to be upset about the prevalence of gun deaths, but the type of public place/school/workplace shootings that grab the biggest headlines are only a small percentage. One is too many, but honestly, I’m more concerned about road rage shootings.
(fun fact, my daughter’s teacher was struck by lightning when she was a teenager!)
Anon says
My MIL was struck by lightning!
Anonymous says
Especially given that you have some time to think through your options, I would channel your anxiety into joining Moms Demand Action. As someone with a lot of anxiety around this, I feel so much better when I know I’m doing everything I can. I want to be able to tell my kids I fought for them.
Also, not to increase your anxiety, but this is an everywhere problem, not a school problem. Are you going to keep your child away from Walmart, concerts, banks, grocery stores, friends’ homes, etc.? After these shootings happen, people say, I can’t believe this could happen here! Frankly, you’re an idiot if you’re still thinking that way. It’s happening everywhere already.
S says
If your child is female I’d do an all girls school over homeschool if that’s the worry.
anon says
I know you’re getting a lot of responses saying this is anxiety (which it may well be), but just wanted to let you know that I’m having the same thoughts re: my 2 year old. I can’t homeschool because I’m the sole breadwinner, but I’m thinking about it constantly. I grew up in a very safe European country (which I would move back to if my co-parenting ex allowed, which is unlikely) so this is all very jarring to me.
Boston Legal Eagle says
It’s jarring to know how prevalent mass shootings are in this country, relative to other developed countries, but then walk outside of my house in safe suburbia and see everyone acting perfectly normally. I think about my kids getting shot in the same mindframe as them getting killed in a car accident, getting cancer, committing suicide or overdosing. Terrible terrible things, but I have to still live life too. Keep fighting for gun legislation, even if it takes an eternity.
Spirograph says
It’s the anxiety talking but to answer your question:
I strongly believe the social environment in public school is the best place for my kids right now. You need to be really intentional about creating opportunities for social interaction with peers and other adult role models when your kid doesn’t get that at school. It’s totally doable with sports, camps, faith communities, cultural orgs, etc, but just another thing to think about. School provides so much more than academics, and you have to find a way to replace all of it (unless you intentionally exclude pieces, I suppose).
Other cons, based on experience with covid “homeschooling”: It’s tough to be both a teacher and a parent. More or less tough depending on your personality and your kid’s, but there’s a reason people pay someone to coach/teach their kid a skill (a sport, playing a musical instrument, etc) the parent is very adept at. Teaching is hard work, time consuming, requires a different skill set than being able to do the thing yourself, and can really throw a wrench in the dynamic of your relationship with your child.
That said, my neighbor homeschools her kids and I can hear them shrieking out in the back yard right now enjoying the gorgeous weather we’re having today. I would love to be less beholden to the school schedule & calendar.
Anon says
+1 to “I would love to be less beholden to the school calendar.” The only reason I’ve ever been tempted to homeschool is so we had the freedom to travel without regard to the school calendar. We are likely going to live abroad the year our daughter is in 4th grade and will potentially homeschool then so we’ll get a little taste of it at least.
Deedee says
I actually was homeschooled in 1st-5th grade as a child because of the violent neighborhood and very poor school district my family lived in. I met some weird people who were homeschooled and agree that in general many people who choose this are religious, so all the social concerns articulated below I think are valid to a degree. My family was LGBTQ and we definitely did not fit into homeschool groups, though my mother did work hard to take us to play meet ups with other families (which usually took place during the traditional schoolday).
I was a bright child and early reader and had a wonderful time learning at home with my younger sister and mom. My mother is a smart HS grad, no education credentials to speak of, and she took a relaxed approach to following my curiousities while meeting state regulations. I have vivid memories of spending days reading books and doing artistic or science projects. Relatively speaking, many homeschooled kids are weaker in math and especially science, and I experienced that a bit when integrating into public middle school. It’s just hard for those without specific education credentials to thoughtfully design lessons on those subjects I think. (I will say that the same is actually true for reading/phonics instruction! I just didn’t experience that challenge with my mom because I was already reading to learn in 1st grade.)
All things considered, I would NOT do this for my own kids if a quality public school were an option. For my SAHM mom though, it was a good option for a period of time.
Toddler bedtime routine says
How long does your toddler bedtime routine take?
Ours is around 45 min (longer if i also have the baby with me). Potty, teeth, jammies, 3 stories, a song, and talking about our day while cuddling. And now often a diaper change (diapers for nap and nightime) bc she has been saving poo for diapers (she pees in the potty and wears underwear during the day).
It feels a bit long but i’m also wondering if that is just bc I have no frame of reference?
Once we’re done she sleeps 11ish hours so i should probably just stop overthinking and be happy.
Anon says
That doesn’t seem long – we are about 45 min, too (sometimes an hour with a leisurely bath). It probably could be shortened, but to me that feels rushed. I accept it as a time of connection and would rather build in buffer than feel annoyed/be yelling at my kid.
And none of my three kids have ever slept 11 hours (a six hour stretch is amazing for my current toddler) so if it’s not broken, I wouldn’t fix it.
Anon says
That seems within the realm of normal to me. It might be possible to shorten it, but it sounds like it’s working well so I wouldn’t mess with it.
Anonymous says
Around that length. 20-30 min of that is reading, which is something I really enjoy and value and still do with my 8 year old too. I could do without chasing a toddler around the house to change into pajamas, but that’s not the biggest time suck. Honestly we still snuggle with both kids after lights out too. It adds time but we like it and they like it.
Anonymous says
I mean, last night took 2.5 hours for my 2.5-year-old because she wanted to sing every single song in her repertoire, and she wanted an audience or no one was going to sleep that night.
AwayEmily says
The length of our bedtime routine has varied so much over my kids’ lifetimes (they are currently 7 and 5) depending on what their needs are (sometimes they go through periods of needing a lot of connection before bed), the season (in summer they often want to play outside til the last possible second), whether we’re having bedtime struggles (in which case a longer routine helps), the amount of sibling conflict, etc. I say if something works, then great. But don’t be afraid to change it if need be — kids are adaptable.
An.On. says
That doesn’t seem outrageous to me. I’ve got a two year and we do a bath every night, but we aim to start bed at 6:30 and usually put them in the crib (still awake) around 7- 7:15.
Anonymous says
This is exactly where we are with my recently potty trained son and I’ve had the same thoughts as you. It used to be so much quicker! Potty training definitely has made it longer because anytime he wants to pause and sit on the potty we obviously let him and I sometimes wonder if he uses it as a stalling tactic. We also do a nightly bath so I suppose that adds to our time but we only do one book and three songs. Commiseration.
Toddler bedtime routine says
Oh ours has for sure figured out that insisting she is going to go potty is a stall tactic.
We only do a bath once every 2-3 days and generally first thing in the morning.