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Sales of note for 8.30.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 20% off
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lands’ End – 40% off sitewide; 50% off backpacks, 40% off kids’ apparel
- Loft – Summer sale, 30% off new arrivals; up to 50% off much more
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- Zappos – 28,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off everything
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 40% off everything
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off sitewide; extra 50% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 50-60% off; 50% off pants for the family
- Target – 20% off select clothing for all; up to 50% off home; up to 30% off select nursery furniture; up to 30% off kitchen & dining
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Anon says
My 18 month old was up for 3 hours in the night crying. We have no idea what was wrong. She doesn’t appear to be teething, although we gave her some Tylenol anyway (it didn’t help). Should she be seen by the ped?
anne-on says
Did she cry more laying down flat but settled when you were holding/rocking her? If so that is likely an ear infection. For us random middle of the night screaming usually meant ear infection. I’d take her in.
Anon says
What do you do with young toddlers (I’m thinking ~12-18 months) who aren’t walking and don’t have much of an attention span? We’ve been going to the public library every weekend but it’s getting very old.
Anon says
oops wrong place, will repost!
mascot says
Anything else going on? Fever, tummy upset? Kids have rough nights where they don’t sleep or have bad dreams or whatever- it’s tricky because they don’t have the words to explain it, but it doesn’t always mean that something is wrong. I’d try to get her some good sleep today and early to bed tonight and let her reset. Maybe try Motrin if she appears uncomfortable. This doesn’t rise t the level of office visit for me. Maybe call the nurse line if she has another couple of bad nights and see if they have suggestions.
mascot says
I’ll edit to say that we didn’t have a bunch of ear infections and those that we did have appeared with colds so I tended to take a wait and see approach. Nurse line was always my first call for things like this.
Anonymous says
I would give it one more night and also monitor her energy level. But no pediatrician is going to judge you for asking for a quick look at kiddo’s ears.
Anonymous says
I was right there with you a few weeks ago with my 15 month old. It didn’t happen again.
It’s my 3rd kid, so I waited for it to happen again and it didn’t. We chalked it up to nightmare + too awake to go back to sleep and too tired to be fully awake.
AwayEmily says
This happens to each of my kids once or twice a year for no apparent reason. Just a random sad wakeup. They are otherwise champion sleepers — it’s like something in their brain just goes a little haywire and then the next night it’s fine.
AnotherAnon says
I took Friday off to hang out with my kid and now I have 250 emails to respond to, in addition to my normal job duties, and they want me to travel next week. I’m over it. End of rant.
Pogo says
ugh, eff that noise.
anon says
Ugh, that’s the worst. I’m sorry.
anon says
I’m so sorry. I also did the same thing, and came back to work with zero substantive emails in my inbox (i work in gov’t). I have been thinking about moving to private sector because of the $$$ differential, but your message is giving me pause.
AnotherAnon says
Well don’t let my N of 1 sway you too much! IANAL and I think my situation is highly unusual, even across my own company (my friend who works in another department says she gets 3 emails a day, max). I work tech support for several hundred users. My team is amazing and we share being “on call,” so I’m only expected to respond on nights and weekends once every eight weeks. It’s stressful, but my boss is great about flexibility and working with me as a working mom…today is just Monday.
AnotherAnon says
Aww thanks y’all!
Anon says
What do you do with young toddlers (I’m thinking ~12-18 months) who aren’t walking and don’t have much of an attention span? We’ve been going to the public library every weekend but it’s getting very old.
Anonymous says
Pool is fun for us, picnics in the park, little playgrounds to climb around.
Anonymous says
We went out to breakfast a ton at that age. A parent + child swim class is fun, too. That was a hard age for us – kiddo wanted to be walking constantly instead of in the stroller, but that wasn’t always feasible. Luckily, we went through that stage during the heart of winter, so we were happier to stay home more than during the summer.
SC says
At that age, we went to breakfast and then the park pretty much every weekend. We also did parent/child swim classes, indoor playgrounds, and went on walks (first in the stroller, then him walking). At home, we let him pull things out of drawers and cabinets, played in the bath, and read a lot.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Our first was walking by 12 months but you can still try playgrounds and indoor playspaces. We went to the Children’s Museum a couple of times too – lots of different activities to grab their attention, and they’re contained.
Anonymous says
Playground, zoo, petting zoo, botanical garden, children’s museum, parks with walking trails, splash pad, kiddie pool, long walks in the jogging stroller basically anywhere. Errands where kiddo could ride in the cart (Target, grocery store).
Buddy Holly says
Outside, outside, outside. Picnics, pools, playgrounds, parks, zoos, farms, outdoor markets, jogging stroller, bike trailer, etc.
Anonymous says
Splash pad/spray park/pool, playground (mostly for swings and sunshine), walks, local farms or beaches, farmers markets, etc.
Stroller or somewhere that’s safe to explore (literally any body of grass).
Anon says
we are at the same stage with our twins and where we live it is hot, hot, hot so playgrounds are not a great option, otherwise we’d be at the one near us with the rubber ground where they can also crawl and go in the swings. we’ve been doing a lot of swimming- though while they love the water, they do not like being held and don’t seem to get that they can’t just crawl in the pool. We’ve also been doing children’s museum a lot bc they have a ‘tot spot’ for kids under 3. Are you in the burbs or the city? If you have a backyard I’d also get a water table or something. We’ve also been doing lots of lunches at restaurants. Picnics are a disaster for us
GCA says
Splash pad if there is one near you, water table if not! Bonus: they might be so occupied they forget that they need your hand to practice walking. Happened to DD last weekend at the splash pad and she started taking a bunch of steps. (At home she will take a few steps if very motivated but generally still prefers walking with a death grip on my finger.)
Anon says
Currently have a 19 month old and the struggle is real. Our usual rotation of activities: parks, family walks, farmer’s market, going out to eat (my toddler loves restaurants, go figure), pool/beach, and friends with kid’s houses. The grocery store, Target, or the mall are good, too. We got a water table and sidewalk chalk for our backyard, which helps to occupy some time. We also go to a weekly Gymboree class that includes unlimited “open gym” time. They usually have 2-3 hours of open gym time scheduled per weekend, so we try to make it to that if we can.
Anonymous says
Park – not playground necessarily but just a big grassy area. That’s our best bet for kids that age!!
KW says
Recs for a convertible car seat? Ideally one that costs less than $200, allows air to circulate well while rear facing (LO gets sweaty in his infant seat now), has a machine-washable cover, and is easy to install and get kiddo in and out. We had an Evenflo (Triumph, maybe?) for my now 8 yo, and I liked that it had a knob to use to tighten the straps, but the lever to press to loosen the straps was so hard to press that it made it really difficult to use. Any other features I’m missing? I’m assuming they are all generally similar safety-wise. Kiddo seems to be average size, although DH and I are tall, as is my 8 yo, and we don’t necessarily plan on extended rear facing.
Anon says
Pretty sure it’s not under $200, but the Chicco NextFit Zip Air ticks all of those boxes for us.
Anon says
We love our NextFit, too. But kids will get sweaty in all car seats, esp RF, no matter how they’re marketed. The sides of the Chicco are pretty high, so if your kid is heavy you may want to look at something with shorter sides, like a Graco.
Anon says
We have four of the Graco Extend2Fit; I don’t know re allowing air to circulate but it’s not expensive, easy to use, and has cup holders built in, which my kids love.
Anon says
Any recommendations on silverware to send in lunchboxes? I want to switch from plastic to reusable (maybe stainless steel?), but don’t want to spend $10 each kid for a set they’ll likely lose halfway through the school year.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We use the kind from Target – looks like it’s called “Zak Designs.” They’ve held up pretty well for the past two years.
Boston Legal Eagle says
https://www.target.com/p/pj-masks-2pc-kids-silverware-set-blue-red-zak-designs/-/A-52259042
anon says
FWIW, I’m a big fan of Zak designs in general. I have two (adult-sized) Zak tumblers that are every bit as awesome as a Yeti cup, for a fraction of the price. Ice water that stays icy for almost a full 24 hours. No idea how something that inexpensive is so good, but it is.
Anonymous says
I just use whatever is cheapest at ikea. They do lose it, so I buy a few at a time and replace as needed.
Lyssa says
In my experience, Goodwill and similar thrift stores usually have some random pieces in a bin, so that would be a good option.
AwayEmily says
+1, this is what we do.
Anonymous says
I’d probably just buy a cheap set of silverware at Target or Walmart and designate it the lunchbox silverware with the expectation that pieces will get lost.
Anon says
My daughter is 17 months and I noticed in the last few weeks that she no longer really asks to nurse, and when I offer her the breast she usually only nurses for a minute or two before running off to do something else. At the end of last week I decided to stop offering and see what happened. She didn’t ask, and now hasn’t nursed in five days. Part of me had hoped to continue until closer to age 2, which would take us through most of her first winter in daycare (she was at home with a nanny last winter), but if she’s ready now, it makes sense to just do it now, right? I would hate to encourage her to nurse now and then have to wean her more forcefully later on (2 is a pretty hard stopping point for me, I don’t really see myself wanting to continue beyond that). Does anyone know how long will it take my milk to dry up? I’m not engorged at all, but assume I could still produce something if I tried to nurse her (but maybe not?).
Anonymous says
Yes definitely wean now. She’s decided she’s ready. It’s a really bittersweet moment but it’s time.
lsw says
I weaned at 14 months and had been hoping to make it to at least 18 months. My son was the same as yours, except he never asked to nurse and pretty much stopped caring. I was still offering at night but he was just constantly distracted. It was very bittersweet!
I never got engorged, I think because it was so gradual, but I did have a really unexpected side effect in that my hormones took me for a real ride. I was having some kind of scary rage and mood swings, so much so that I ended up going to my OBGYN practice. This is apparently fairly common (I even found out a friend of mine had almost the exact same experience), but I had no idea and was very alarmed. It passed within a month or so. I just wanted to put that out there because I had no idea and I thought I was going crazy. I expected to have br e a st discomfort but not Freddy Krueger level stabbing desire.
Anonymous says
If it were me, I’d probably pick one of wake up or bedtime to still offer and try to get through the winter. But I’d hold firm about that being the only nursing session of the day.
Pogo says
This was how mine behaved when he weaned. I still miss it.
anon says
What was helpful to have at home after a c-section? A friend is having one this week and i want to help her out. I live out of state and can’t help directly, but just wanted to to her what to expect. I have had two myself, but can’t remember useful little details.
Lana Del Raygun says
I wish I’d had some sort of bed rail to help me roll over and sit up on my own.
CPA Lady says
An abdominal binder, hands down. And stool softener.
I slept on the couch for about a week because my bed is really high and I couldn’t get in or out of it without hurting myself. So fancy 1700s style bed stairs would have been great too.
Emily S. says
+1 on the stool softener (and you would be a hero to send it so that her partner doesn’t have to go out and buy it.) One handed snacks like nuts and dried fruit are nice to have on hand and ship well. C-panties really helped me, but.
Anon says
I would just say that I got prescription stool softener at the hospital so I wouldn’t have used an OTC one…but do encourage her to take it! :)
Anonymous says
I was sent home from the hospital with a stool softener prescription, which I filled on the way home along with the pain meds (and blood pressure meds in my case, though that’s not common). Is that not a common thing?
Irish Midori says
Was thinking the same. I was sent home with a bottle and a script. I think meds is an odd gift from a friend unless you’re into, like, homeopathic stuff the doc isn’t likely to give.
Lana Del Raygun says
My sister gave me a postpartum care package with things like stool softeners, tucks pads, lanolin, and (adult) diapers and I really appreciated it! I was having my first baby so it was a sort of “experienced mother taking new mother under her wing” thing and it was really nice, even if I ended up not needing all of it.
Anon says
Pillow for the car ride home to press against her incision on turns and bumps (also for laughing, sneezing, coughing). Gauze pads for if the incision weeps. Motrin and tylenol for when she transitions off the painkillers. I used to use alarms on my phone to remind me to take my pills so I would stay ahead of the pain. My maternity yoga pants had a fold down waist that when unfolded was high enough to not irritate my incision. Remind her that she will have probably 4-6 weeks of lifting restrictions (nothing heavier than that baby, and that includes baby plus car seat, so she will likely need someone to go with her to the new baby appointments or her own appointments unless she intends to carry the baby or has a lay flat stroller (I did not). Grocery delivery comes in handy for that. She will also have likely 2 weeks or so of driving restrictions (for me it was tied to being off the painkillers and able to comfortably lift my leg while seated to slam on the brakes if I had to). I slept downstairs in the recliner the first two weeks with the baby in the PNP bassinet because it was easier to get in and out of bed that way. Other than that, lots of protein to help with incision healing and the usual other new mom stuff. And I guess it makes sense, but I didn’t quite realize I would still be bleeding for weeks and would need heavy duty pads (I don’t know why I thought a c-section solved that problem, because it sure doesn’t).
Lyssa says
I was really disappointed to learn that having a c-section didn’t solve/prevent those problems, too!
Anon says
You bleed more with a c-section, not less (or so I’ve been told).
ElisaR says
colace.
a mini-stool to use to climb into bed.
big comfy pants that don’t touch the scar.
Lana Del Raygun says
+1 to the big comfy pants! My friend lent me some palazzo pants with an elastic-smocked waist and they were great.
Also I found the ingrid&isabel afterband much comfier than the binder from the hospital after the first couple weeks.
anon says
I’m curious how everyone balances quality vs. practicality for kids’ gear. The example above is a good one: splurge on a quality lunchbox and accessories, or spend less, knowing that the kid may lose it anyway? I think this becomes almost more of an issue when kids are older and are moving about more freely at school and activities. I guess this is where I’ve landed, but I’m curious how others handle it. Age plays a big factor in quality vs. quantity, I think.
Clothes: I stay on the inexpensive end, especially for my preschooler who is staining everything at daycare these days. We have lots of Cat & Jack, Carter’s, Oshkosh, and Old Navy. That said, I hate how pill-y the Cat & Jack and ON t-shirts get after awhile, and the leggings fade badly. In an effort to buy better, I bought my daughter several Hanna Andersson dresses on deep discount … she still picks her cheaper dresses every time. I’m OK with spending a little more on clothes for the elementary-school kiddo who isn’t growing as quickly and can wear things for several years.
Shoes: I regularly spend ~$50 on everyday shoes, usually twice a year. Whenever I’ve bought cheap shoes, I regret it and end up spending more in the long run. I buy bargain shoes for church and dress-up, though. I’m lucky that my kids seem to wear out their shoes before they outgrow them.
Coats: This is a tough one. I want my kids to have high-quality coats because we live in a place where the weather is unpredictable and the wind can be brutal. I started to rethink this stance when my son lost a North Face jacket at school last year. It was found, luckily, but I was kicking myself in the meantime and wishing I’d just bought his coat at Target. I don’t spend much on hoodies; they prone to getting left behind, especially at the before/after school program. (I can’t believe how many name-brand sweatshirts I see in the school’s lost-and-found at the end of the semester!)
Hats/mittens/gloves: Another tough one to balance. They get lost so easily that I hate spending much money on them, yet the cheap ones aren’t always very good. I try to leave a “nice” pair at home and send the other stuff to school.
Backpack and lunchbox: No regrets buying an LL Bean pack that has held up to lots of wear and tear. We need to replace DS’s only because he’s outgrowing it, not because it’s falling apart. His Lands End lunchbox also is holding up great, considering it gets tossed into a bin at school every day. It’s shocking that we haven’t lost it yet, honestly.
Water bottles: OMG, the effing water bottles that are required for DS’s summer program. I now buy cheap ones because Kid has a knack for losing them. Or they get broken. I’m done with buying anything nice.
Emily S. says
I have 2 daughters, both born in the same season, so my calculus involves whether I can hand it down. I try to buy second hand Patagonia coats, for example, because while they are more expensive than an Old Navy coat, two kids can wear it, and if I keep it clean, I can consign it or give it to a friend. I buy new Hanna Andersson pjs (usually with a coupon) because they wear so well and again, 2 kids will wear it. I try to buy second hand clothes from the better brands, or use a coupon to buy new with the idea that younger daughter will use it (the exception is Tea; I am not impressed with the quality.) I used to buy Carters, but at the end of the season, so many items were pilled or faded or stains had not come out that I felt I was spending more and having to buy more. Hand me downs might not fly when little sister is in elementary school, but I’m trying to take advantage of it while I can. Like you, with shoes, we buy a few quality pairs over the course of year instead of cheap ones. For stuff, I bought an LL bean backpack with the expectation that it will last years. I just bought a planet box lunch box (gulp, even with a coupon) because I would rather buy nice and keep it for years than buy and dump a plastic lunch box every nine months. I am phasing out cheap water bottles for Thermos funtainers because I was tired of the straws fraying, the multiple parts, and that milk smell that would never quite come out.
Curious what others’ calculus is.
rakma says
Quality on shoes, coats, backpacks, less so on clothing. They’re still little enough that everything that’s labeled with their name makes it back to us eventually.
For so many things, even coats and lunchboxes, I’m adding them to the wishlists that go to the extended family for holidays and birthdays. My kids have too much of everything, my parents in particular want to spoil them to the nth degree, and so I’ve come up with this as a compromise. This is also how we balance DD’s desire for everything sparkly, lacy and ruffly with my desire for practical comfortable clothing, it goes on the list and a relative buys it, and everyone is basically happy.
Anonymous says
Our main splurge is outerwear. Good quality outerwear helps avoid wet, cold kids so we enjoy being outside more. Plus, in Canada, you wear your winter coat for months on end so the cost per wear is low.
H13 says
Splurge: shoes, backpacks, and food containers. That’s about it. I have found more expensive shoes last way longer and are worth it in the long run.
Save on pretty much everything else. I welcome hand-me-downs, try to buy second hand, and go to ON or Target if I need to buy new. I figure they will have specific wants soon enough so I am getting away with it while I can.
SC says
For me, it depends on kid’s age, how it’s used, and whether a kid is likely to lose it.
Quality on tennis shoes, which are Kiddo’s daily shoes. I buy sandals or any other “fun” shoes at Target, but he only wears them to the pool or maybe out running errands once or twice a week.
For clothes, I shop consignment a lot and then tend to buy brands that are higher quality. An ON or Cat & Jack t-shirt isn’t going to do as well second-hand as a higher-quality brand. If I’m buying new, it’s usually from Target or ON.
Winter coats are definitely a consignment item–high quality, in my area usually only worn a few times, and inexpensive (because consignment) if Kiddo happens to lose it. I would buy inexpensive gloves, hats, etc. because those would likely get lost pretty frequently.
For backpacks and lunch boxes, since there’s usually a pretty good system of hanging them up or putting them in a cubby, it seems unlikely they’d get lost. I’d go with quality with the expectation that they’d last a long time.
anon says
I’m jealous of those who have nice kids’ consignment shops in their area. Even the nicest one in my city has a lot of Old Navy and Target/Walmart brands … sure they’re in good shape, but they are still the same price as brand-new shirts bought on sale. Tea, Hanna and even Gap are rare finds. I’m more likely to find name-brand athletic gear, which I don’t care about.
SC says
I’ve found this to be the case at our consignment shops as well. Our area has a large biannual consignment sale. It’s a fair amount of work to sell something because you have to price each item in their system and then print the tag and attach it yourself. I feel like that might keep the quality up and the price fair–people won’t bother with the work if they think an item won’t sell. (I’ve registered but never gotten around to actually selling, and I know several people who have only sold larger items like strollers.)
anon says
My area has those, too. I had good intensions about participating and then realized, well, I am never going to put in the work to make that happen. Let’s just say I’m generous with hand-me-downs.
CPA Lady says
Clothes: Really nice boutique dresses bought on consignment mixed with old navy/target/kohls hand me downs.
Shoes: I tend to buy pediped on sale. I tried target brand shoes and they looked totally busted up within two months and decided never again.
Coats: I live in the south. My kid wears hand me down fleece jackets. I don’t think she’s ever owned a “real” coat.
Hats/mittens/gloves: cheapy. see also: the south.
Backpack and lunchbox: kid has an ll bean nylon tote bag for daycare, planning on buying an ll bean backpack once she’s in school. idk about lunchbox. I’m hoping she’ll eat lunch at school most of the time.
Water bottles: nalgene grip n gulps for $8-$10 a pop.
Babyproofing? says
Talk to me about babyproofing – how much did you actually do and what was necessary/helpful vs just another thing to buy and deal with?
For context, my first is just starting to think about walking. We have outlet covers (although I’ve since heard these may actually be unnecessary and a choking hazard?) and a baby gate for the stairs but that’s about it. Are toilet locks, etc. necessary? What about securing things like the dog water bowl (ours is huge)? I’m overwhelmed!
Annie says
No toilet locks – just keep the bathroom door closed. Must: locks on any low cabinet with cleaning products inside. We also did the stove nobs. Nothing else.
Annie says
Adding – we did anchor furniture to the wall. I think that’s another must do.
Anonymous says
I closed the bathroom door rather than locking the toilet.
Baby gates for stairs, locks on lower kitchen cabinets that contained jars of condiments or cleaning solutions, some outlet covers, and ****anchoring furniture****. I did a sweep of other drawers, shelves, and other cupboards to make sure everything dangerous was out of reach. Eg, medicine moved to top shelf of the linen closet, bleach and Dran-o moved to top shelf of basement storage (kids aren’t supposed to be in that part of the basement anyway).
Emily S. says
We also had to use stove knobs. I would definitely secure the dog bowls if you can! At least for my girls, they were irresistible! And to my horror, both girls tried kibble out of the bowl when my back was turned. Cabinet locks were/still are (at 23 months) very useful bc, apparently, my skin care products, hairbrushes, etc., and paper towels (stashed strategically around the house for errant water cup spills) are just so much fun to play with. We skipped toilet and fridge locks; around 2.5, when DD could reach, we did doorknob covers on the pantries (esp. where dog food is housed) and laundry room.
Anonymous says
We did baby proofing in steps. Before the baby came, we installed anti tip devices on the baby furniture as it was put in the room. From there, our priority was the things our child was most interested. For us, that was securing certain doors in the kitchen and installing gates on stairs.
Anonymous says
Anchor furniture and TVs to the wall.
Anonymous says
+1. My husband was a bit lax on this and so I did some research. Turns out even the things that don’t seem like they would tip over (my big, heavy, wide and low dresser) can tip when babies/children pull up on the drawers or try to climb on open drawers. Many kids are injured and dozens die this way each year.
Anonymous says
My husband was also a bit lax on this and my kids tipped their ikea hemnes 8-drawer dresser a few months ago. The anchors were literally sitting on top of the dresser at the time, waiting to be installed. Luckily, no one was hurt. The bottom drawer was pulled out and stopped the dresser from tipping flat, plus the kids were standing off to the side. They were terrified, as was I. I heard it from downstairs and have probably never moved so fast in my life. My husband commented that was the first time he’s seen mom adrenaline at work and it was a sight to behold.
Our flat screen TV actually came with anchor straps, and we have it anchored to its cabinet rather than the wall. It is not the most sightly solution, but I’ve tested it and it’s safe.
Anonymous says
ETA, the dresser-tipping kids are 6 and 4. The dresser in the nursery has been anchored for years, this was a new one in the big kid room. This danger does not go away when your kids stop climbing on furniture. The problem was, both kids were trying to pick out their clothes at the same time, and just too many drawers were open at once.
Anon says
The nursery is fully baby-proofed (outlet covers, furniture anchored to walls, rubber padding on sharp edges) so we feel she’s secure in there even if she escapes her crib, which she hasn’t yet. She’s a long way away from being able to reach and open a door handle, so the rest of our our house isn’t really baby-proofed, except for a gate at the top of the stairs (she is 17 months and walking, crawled at 8 months, fwiw).
rosie says
For the outlet covers, we replaced the outlet plates on our most used outlets with the kind that you slide to plug something in. That avoids the possible choking hazard and also makes it less likely that the cover would not be replaced after the outlet was used.
CCLA says
-anchor furniture (we did this before they were mobile because we’re in earthquake country)
-padding/corner guards on sharp corners
-gate off kitchen entrance; now that older DD has free reign in the house, we leave the gate opened unless we’re running the oven and have more a la carte security in the kitchen like stove knob covers and lower cabinet latches for cabinets with glassware or similar
-for the bathrooms we just closed the doors when they were tiny, but again now that we have an older kid we have locked the cabinets. still haven’t locked the toilet since older kiddo just potty trained…we just don’t let the baby wander the house alone
-outlet covers
-cordless blinds/curtains in lieu of blinds in kid rooms
-child lock and alarm for sliding door to balcony
-safety film on windows and mirrored doors in kids rooms (again due to earthquake country)
Now that I’ve written it out it sounds like a lot, but it really doesn’t feel like a lot, probably because we did it in stages.
Anonymous says
We did baby gates (stairs and hallways to bathrooms), cupboard locks for the cleaning supplies/garbage and the one where we store the blender and food processor with sharp blades, and outlet covers. We also strapped her dresser/changing table to the wall. Otherwise, we just put things out of reach. Cordless blinds, but we already had those.
SC says
Instead of outlet covers, we changed the outlet plates to ones that slide. It was pretty easy.
We had a baby gate for Kiddo’s room and one blocking the laundry room, where pet food, water, and litter box were kept.
We put magnetic locks on the lower kitchen cabinets and on the bathroom cabinet. We couldn’t lock the pot drawers or the island, so we made sure nothing sharp or dangerous was in those. We also did a sweep of the house and made sure medicines, scissors, choking hazards, etc were stored up high.
We had a toilet lock, but only after Kiddo started playing in the toilet. Our house was old, and our bathroom door didn’t close fully/properly because the wood had warped, so we couldn’t just keep the door closed.
We didn’t anchor furniture. We probably should have anchored the 2 dressers, but our drywall was soft, and hanging or installing anything in that house was an ordeal, and we never got around to it. Kiddo was/is not a climber. The TV was mounted to the wall, but not specifically for baby-proofing purposes (and mounting it was an ordeal carried out by professionals).
AwayEmily says
Not sure if someone said this already but we found it very useful to have a baby gate for the top AND the bottom of the stairs.
Our other big thing was anchoring — that seemed like the biggest risk to me. Do it even in rooms the kids don’t go in much (guest rooms, etc).
Hopeful says
Can anyone provide some moral support as we TTC for #1? I’m really hopeful this is the cycle — I’m 10 days post ovulation with all sorts of symptoms (nausea, on-and-off achiness of b00bs, weird taste in mouth), but my tests are still negative. I know it’s relatively early so I’m still hopeful. Is anyone willing to bolster my hope by sharing their first symptoms and timing of how they found out they were pregnant?
Emily S. says
Oh, sending good vibes! With my first, I had weird nausea that kicked in on a dime after eating one day, and the next morning, the smell of my usual morning coffee was abhorrent. That’s when I began to suspect I was pregnant. With my second, I was fatigued and had less of an appetite than usual, but it didn’t register on a test right away. I actually threw the stick away and then did a double take when I was emptying trash later. Good luck to you!
Irish Midori says
Ooh, it was coffee smell for me too, for 2 out of my 3. I knew right away something was “wrong,” and we weren’t even trying!
T says
How are you tracking ovulation? Unfortunately, all of those symptoms can be pre-menstrual symptoms so try not to get too caught up in it. My earliest symptoms were pinching cramps at 6, 7 and 8 days post ovulation and really serious rage at 6 days post ovulation. Positive test at 9 days post, though that’s pretty early.
Anonymous says
Period like cramps and insane hunger/nausea on day 10 with a positive test. With my first I was actually pretty fatigued starting around day 7 with a positive OPK and also period like cramps on day 10, which prompted me to take one of the early pregnancy tests. FYI a faint line is a positive! (If seen within the time window listed on the directions). DH didn’t believe it with our second until I got a positive digital test haha
Anon says
My main symptoms was very sore b00bs (they’re often sore before my period, but this was like 100 times worse than the worst PMS soreness I’d ever had). That started well over a week before my period was due. Maybe 5 days before my missed period, I took a test and it was negative, but I really thought I was pregnant. I re-tested on the day my period was due and got a very strong positive. And when I went to the doctor for bloodwork they said my HCG levels were “off the charts” – they actually thought it was twins based on my levels (it wasn’t). I wouldn’t read too much into a negative test if your period isn’t due for at least a couple days. Good luck!
Lyssa says
Ditto on super-sore boobs. As in, the shower water hurt them.
Then, after confirming I was, I would constantly jab myself in them on the theory that things must be going OK if they were still sore. (Note that this is not a medically supported theory.)
Anon says
+1, sore boobs when DH hugged me at 8DPO then faint positive line at 11DPO!
shortperson says
my only pre-positive test sign was unmistakable eye twitchiness
Anonymous says
I knew because my sense of smell changed. I didn’t really have any other symptoms. FWIW, the cheapo tests yielded a yes faster than the first response et al tests that are supposed to give you a positive before our missed period .
Anonymous says
I had zero pre-missed period symptoms. About 3 weeks later horrible nausea and fatigue set in. Just do a test when it makes sense with your cycle. I did a pregnancy test a few days before my missed period. I hadn’t been planning on it, but we were invited to an event at the last minute (filling in for some folks who had to cancel at my firm), and I wanted to know if I could drink or not. It was positive.
Anonymous says
I didn’t really have any noticeable symptoms, but I did get a negative pregnancy when I thought I was 14 days post ovulation. Went on a business trip and when I got back realized I still hadn’t gotten my period. Turns out I was pregnant. We tried for just over a year, so I know how it feels playing that guessing game month after month! Good luck!
Housecounsel says
When I was taking my temp every day and planning for first 2 kids, an obvious temperature spike was my first sign. When I was NOT trying and was surprised with #3, my first sign was sore, sore breasts while running on the treadmill. I actually went out and bought new sports bras, thinking that was the problem. The 12-year-old I am about to drive to practice was actually the (wonderful, much-loved) problem. Best of luck!
Katarina says
Good luck. I have been pregnant three times, and my early symptoms have been different each time, and in aggregate indistinguishable from my regular PMS symptoms.
Anonymous says
I had zero symptoms and a negative test at 10 DPO but a clear positive at 12 DPO. I think it was cycle 12 or 13 when we finally got it. 17 weeks today, due in January. I’m pulling for you!
Coach Laura says
At 10 days after ovulation I had weirdly tingling n!pples, which was not a period symptom for me plus nausea where I didn’t have to throw up just queasy. Eating a cracker or a cheese stick calmed it for me.
Anon says
I thought I was pregnant every month for about nine months before we conceived. It’s hard not to read into every sensation, but I hope it works out for you soon!!
Supporting DH says
It’s been 16 months since we lost FIL very suddenly. DD was born 30 days after his death (first grandkid). It’s been so hard that I can’t even find the words to express, but we are forcing our way through it all. FIL was very, very close to DH and SIL.
SIL just got engaged this weekend. Whatever little healing has happened for DH seems to be ripped open all over again. Any advice for how to support DH? He just keeps repeating “dad should be here.” To complicate matters SIL lives on the other side of the planet (PhD/field-research-related) with her now finance. DH and I haven’t been to visit her and haven’t met fiance in person, just over skype – it was supposed to be a short stint but four years later here we are. MIL is in the picture but is sort of just – tolerated? – for lack of more generous phrasing. DH is in therapy, fwiw.
I’m feel like I’m out of ways to support him, and even saying that out loud brings me to tears. I haven’t cried over FIL in a good number of months, but I’m broken today. Maybe this was some sort of straw-breaking-back-thing? I’m sure I should be in therapy but, classic response, I have no time, don’t know where to start and just can’t bring myself to put anything else in my calendar. I have a highly demanding full-time job and a 15 month old. I’m running our household on many days while DH is trying to stay afloat. We have more good days than bad, but the bad are really hard, and I’m afraid we’re about to regress.
I’m not sure what i’m looking for, maybe just internet hugs and someone to remind me we will get through this?
Anonymous says
Internet hugs, and you will get through this. I’m very sorry for your family’s loss.
Therapy for you would probably be very helpful, if for no other reason than that I bet you feel like you can’t unload all of this on your husband when he is grieving, and you deserve for someone to hear and support you, too. Friends are great, but (for me, at least) paying for focused time is a better solution. If your employer has a wellness program, they may offer counseling services on site. Mine does, and it is a great solution to fitting mental health into your life without needing to take hours off work or away from family. If that is not available to you, I suggest calling up your husband’s therapist and asking for an intro appointment. If you would prefer to establish a relationship with someone different from your husband’s therapist, at least you could get a recommendation. You may be able to do virtual sessions, and eliminate traveling to and from a practice. It is a big step, and I know it feels like one more thing added to your schedule and mental load, but you need to put your own oxygen mask on too, right now.
rosie says
Hugs. Grief can feel like just mostly bad days and then bad days with good moments and then good days with bad moments and then mostly good days — family events, milestones, and similar may trigger more bad moments and bad days for a while, but you get through.
It sounds like you are doing so much to support your husband. I know you know that therapy could be an option for you, but short of that, what about other self-care things that feel like less of a commitment?
This may not be financially or logistically feasible right now, but could your DH go visit his sister for a few days, assuming they are somewhat close to each other? That would give him an opportunity to meet the fiance and for them to celebrate in person together, recognizing that they will also be grieving. I think you all going for a visit could be nice, too, but I hesitate to suggest that given how much is already on your plate and that last minute trips with a toddler seem like a huge net stressor.
rakma says
So many internet hugs.
We lost FIL about two weeks before DD1 was born, and those two events are still so entwined for DH. We have a hard time around the time of year that FIL passed, though some years are harder than others.
I’ve found the best thing I can do to be supportive is remind him that it’s ok to be grieving, to commiserate as best I can (which is usually no more that, you’re right, this sucks, but emotions are not my strong suit and he knows this) and to try to talk about FIL in more positive moments. This came more naturally as DD got older, because I’ve made a point to talk to her about FIL, so she knows him in a way.
You’re in the thick of it right now, both in terms of the grief and the reality of being working parents with a toddler. Whatever you can outsource, drop, or make easier, do that. Can you take off an afternoon? Get a babysitter or mother’s helper on the weekend? Find some time for yourself, as hard as it is, or the whole thing just gets harder.
Anonymous says
Hugs from me as well. I am right there with you. We lost MIL 17 months ago and I found out I was pregnant a few days after that. My whole pregnancy and the birth of our daughter are entwined with the grieving process in our family. It has been so hard on my husband, and I can only imagine it would have been even worse if the birth was so much closer to MIL’s passing. I agree with rakma that the way I’ve best been able to support my husband is to let him know his grieving is ok and his joy is also ok. When he is feeling sad I sit and talk with him about how I miss MIL, share some memories and things I wish she were here for, and just cry with him. Sometimes I feel like he has a hard time letting it out so by sitting with him and letting it out myself he is able to let go of some of the feelings he tends to bottle up. I do my best to validate his feelings, whether it be sorrow or anger. We also try to spend a lot of time with his side of the family.
But it is so hard. I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this.
ElisaR says
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this, it sounds very difficult and it sounds like you’re doing the best you can.
I think you continue to be supportive but if it’s at all possible try to get to therapy for yourself. I once thought there wasn’t time and work didn’t allow for it until it became a true necessity. I found a therapist near my office and went once a week during the time that I needed it. It was a game changer for me. It wasn’t easy to fit in, but I just dropped whatever was happening at the office and left for an hour once a week. I found her by reading reviews on the internet and quite honestly – probably just lucked out. My therapist was a godsend.
Anonymous says
Hugs! Family events have a tendency to rip open healed wounds. I lost one parent 18 years ago and my other one 11 years ago, and I still got choked up about them missing my sibling’s wedding this year. I’m glad your DH is in therapy because that has been a great space for me to process not only my feelings, but also think about ways to incorporate my parents into my own parenting.
Allow space for grieving right now and understand that’s what’s going on. Be kind to yourself and DH– if you’re like me, there’s a tendency to be understanding right after a death, but then feel like everything should be tied up in a neat bow and you are “fixed” from grieving. And eventually, find a way to honor and accept your grief– you’re going through this because FIL was such a great person and you are sad he won’t experience SIL’s wedding.
You will get through it!
Anonymous says
Not pregnant but wanted to comment and say that I love this