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My mom had one of those school frames with a slot for each school photo from kindergarten through senior year. Here’s one for your baby’s first year.
This square, rustic-style frame has a dozen 3″ x 3″ slots to capture your baby’s first 12 months. This would make a great shower gift for parents-to-be — I would have loved something like this if only to help me remember what went on during those blurry, sleep-deprived months.
Pearhead’s First Year Frame is $29.99 at Target.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
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- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
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- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
EP-er says
If I had this frame, it would probably only have a smattering of non-sequential photos from the first year, too!
Anonymous says
I got this frame as a gift and tossed it in the back of the closet. I don’t want the pressure of curating it, so unless my husband will do it, it’s a waste for us. Know your audience on this one!
Anonymous says
Mine is sitting in my nursery closet, untouched since my first child was born 6 years ago.
Anon says
Wanted to weigh in after a completing a 2 week multi-city international trip with several inter-trip flights with twin 3 year olds with some recommendations —
We got the cheapest amazon kindle fires (I think we paid $35 last Prime day?) plus a cheap SD card, and loaded up hours of familiar movies and tv shows that we’d already bought on Amazon. These were the unsung heroes of the trip — we used them extensively, on the plane rides — they sat next to each other and we put up the armrest, and they were able to stretch out by facing each other. We put a blanket over them, and they each held their tablet until they fell asleep. I’m really glad we didn’t rely on the screen in front of them – my kids could not have managed or reached the interface on their own, and I think would have bugged the person in front of them trying to touch the screen. Also, there were lots of shows, but none were familiar. I was glad they had shows they were used to when so much was unfamiliar to them during the trip. Also, thanks to an end of trip flight cancellation, they managed a day that started at 4AM, and involved 3 flights with minimal fuss thanks to hours and hours (and hours) of screen time + international play zones at airports.
Also, I’m sure this got us side eyed on the trip and maybe even here, but we used the tablets + headphones (always) extensively at meals in restaurants. This was a bucket list trip for me (not something we did for the kids), and I wanted to be able to sit and relax and enjoy dessert and wine and chat with my husband at meals. My twins are good at sitting and eating, but they cannot handle lingering. We covered a lot of ground on the trip, and there were times when they were tired, frustrated, etc. I’m glad I was able to enjoy some of the meals, which would not have been possible if they didn’t have any entertainment. To be very clear, we never ate at a fancy restaurant (I’m talking the airport restaurant or an on-site hotel restaurant or a local pub) or late — but it massively reduced our stress to not feel like we were counting the minutes until they were both melting down or climbing on the person next to them. Similarly, I was able to hand them the tablet during long lines for check in or customs, waiting for flights, etc.
We told them before the trip that the tablets were for travel only, and I put them away as soon as we got home. Neither has asked for the tablet since the trip, so I do not think we created any kind of long-term habit. I am extremely thankful for the assistance they provided on the trip though. Everything in moderation (this is not something we do at home), and I have absolutely no regrets for many of the quiet moments they provided me and my husband on this trip.
We also took a stroller for the same reasons – just a simple double umbrella stroller, but it kept them contained and happy when we were stuck in a line somewhere. It usually stayed in the hotel room when we were out and about, but I’m glad we had it for all the airline travel we did.
We strategically upgraded our rooms bc we knew we’d end up spending more time in hotel rooms than we would during a kid free trip. I justified it as we spent a lot less on food than we would have if it was just my husband and me (only one meal out, a lot of PBJ for lunches, plus breakfast was usually included). I was so glad we did – I never felt a sense of frustration if we were back at the hotel room early if we had a balcony to sit outside or be right on the water. We occasionally traded off, and one adult could go to the on site restaurant with a book and read and the other adult would stay back in the room and relax on the porch or outside the room. I found that resorts or hotels that had little separated cabin like rooms our favorite — the twins could play right outside the cabin, and we never worried about disturbing people in the hallways or if there were rooms that shared walls with us. Two toddlers can get real loud….
We tried melatonin on them a week before we left, and had it in our back pocket for days when it seemed like they couldn’t settle. We only had to use it a few times, and I’m glad we had an option for nights when they were super disoriented.
We challenged the twins a LOT with this trip, and I’m so thankful we did it. There were definitely still meltdowns, but they melt down at home too — so I have no regrets. We went to countries I’ve waited my whole life to see! We also hiked with them, and somehow walking to the park a block away can feel like Everest, but they happily managed a few 5K hikes on extremely steep terrain — lots of snacks + lots of fun things to look at (oceans and waterfalls were huge hits).
Whew! Long recap – so TL, DR, I recommend leaning into things that make your life easier — we didn’t find that it created any habits at home (everything about this travel was SO different than our daily lives), and it really helped my husband and I enjoy the trip.
Anon says
Good for you! this sounds amazing! I’m so glad you and your family had a wonderful trip.
Anon says
Edited to avoid Mod — and adding that we went to Spain and Italy. I had never been to either place, and loved seeing both.
Wanted to weigh in after a completing a 2 week multi-city international trip with several inter-trip flights with twin 3 year olds with some recommendations —
We got the cheapest amazon kindle fires (I think we paid $35 last Prime day?) plus a cheap SD card, and loaded up hours of familiar movies and tv shows that we’d already bought on Amazon. These were the unsung heroes of the trip — we used them extensively, on the plane rides — they sat next to each other and we put up the armrest, and they were able to stretch out by facing each other. We put a blanket over them, and they each held their tablet until they fell asleep. I’m really glad we didn’t rely on the screen in front of them – my kids could not have managed or reached the interface on their own, and I think would have bugged the person in front of them trying to touch the screen. Also, there were lots of shows, but none were familiar. I was glad they had shows they were used to when so much was unfamiliar to them during the trip. Also, thanks to an end of trip flight cancellation, they managed a day that started at 4AM, and involved 3 flights with minimal fuss thanks to hours and hours (and hours) of screen time + international play zones at airports.
Also, I’m sure this got us side eyed on the trip and maybe even here, but we used the tablets + headphones (always) extensively at meals in restaurants. This was a bucket list trip for me (not something we did for the kids), and I wanted to be able to sit and relax and enjoy dessert and wine and chat with my husband at meals. My twins are good at sitting and eating, but they cannot handle lingering. We covered a lot of ground on the trip, and there were times when they were tired, frustrated, etc. I’m glad I was able to enjoy some of the meals, which would not have been possible if they didn’t have any entertainment. To be very clear, we never ate at a fancy restaurant (I’m talking the airport restaurant or an on-s i t e hotel restaurant or a local pub) or late — but it massively reduced our stress to not feel like we were counting the minutes until they were both melting down or climbing on the person next to them. Similarly, I was able to hand them the tablet during long lines for check in or customs, waiting for flights, etc.
We told them before the trip that the tablets were for travel only, and I put them away as soon as we got home. Neither has asked for the tablet since the trip, so I do not think we created any kind of long-term habit. I am extremely thankful for the assistance they provided on the trip though. Everything in moderation (this is not something we do at home), and I have absolutely no regrets for many of the quiet moments they provided me and my husband on this trip.
We also took a stroller for the same reasons – just a simple double umbrella stroller, but it kept them contained and happy when we were stuck in a line somewhere. It usually stayed in the hotel room when we were out and about, but I’m glad we had it for all the airline travel we did.
We strategically upgraded our rooms bc we knew we’d end up spending more time in hotel rooms than we would during a kid free trip. I justified it as we spent a lot less on food than we would have if it was just my husband and me (only one meal out, a lot of PBJ for lunches, plus breakfast was usually included). I was so glad we did – I never felt a sense of frustration if we were back at the hotel room early if we had a balcony to sit outside or be right on the water. We occasionally traded off, and one adult could go to the on s i t e restaurant with a book and read and the other adult would stay back in the room and relax on the porch or outside the room. I found that resorts or hotels that had little separated cabin like rooms our favorite — the twins could play right outside the cabin, and we never worried about disturbing people in the hallways or if there were rooms that shared walls with us. Two toddlers can get real loud….
We tried melatonin on them a week before we left, and had it in our back pocket for days when it seemed like they couldn’t settle. We only had to use it a few times, and I’m glad we had an option for nights when they were super disoriented.
We challenged the twins a LOT with this trip, and I’m so thankful we did it. There were definitely still meltdowns, but they melt down at home too — so I have no regrets. We went to countries I’ve waited my whole life to see! We also hiked with them, and somehow walking to the park a block away can feel like Everest, but they happily managed a few 5K hikes on extremely steep terrain — lots of snacks + lots of fun things to look at (oceans and waterfalls were huge hits).
Whew! Long recap – so TL, DR, I recommend leaning into things that make your life easier — we didn’t find that it created any habits at home (everything about this travel was SO different than our daily lives), and it really helped my husband and I enjoy the trip.
ifiknew says
I love this so much!! Thank you for giving me hope. Can you share your itinerary? How did you manage jetlag and airplane sleep?
Anon says
Not Op but jet-lag has never been much of an issue for us going east. We crash early the first night and kid and I sleep through until the following morning and are then roughly on local time. My husband has way more issues (wakes up in the night, etc.)
On the airplane we have the best luck having kiddo stretch across us to sleep but that’s harder with 2+ kids.
AwayEmily says
Jetlag was not as bad as I thought, honestly. None of the kids slept well on the flight there — each of them got maybe two hours? We landed at 10am local time and had them push through til evening (the baby did do a nap, of course). Gave them melatonin and crossed our fingers — the first two nights were a bit hard for both big kids and baby, but by the third night everyone was on schedule and sleeping 8-7 local time. The Slumberpod was a lifesaver for the baby.
Clementine says
I absolutely love this!!
I do think kids can learn to travel well… and thank you for validating my choice last night to spend extra $$ on a convenient and extra large hotel suite for the day we land after a big day of travel.
AwayEmily says
I wanted to check in and update you all on our ten-day France trip with 3 kids (7,5, and 18 months) since everyone was such a big help both with practical advice and encouragement. It was WAY better than I expected — the baby in particular just adored being out and about, and while the big kids had some tough/tired moments (especially in our epically delayed 24-hour trip home) they also had a blast, especially at the seaside.
We did not check a bag on the way there and everything turned out just fine (and made our inter-city train travel easier). We did one load of laundry, and there was nothing I wished I’d brought but didn’t. On the way back we checked a duffel with our dirty laundry and some random souvenirs we’d picked up.
In sum: I’m VERY glad we went and it made me excited to do more traveling with the kids. That being said, for our next vacation I’m looking forward to a chill lake house rental! Thanks again to all you experienced travelers for your tips; I used a TON of them.
TheElms says
Yay, you give me hope! We leave in a couple weeks for our first hotel vacation with 4 year old and 18 month old. It is a super kid friendly destination (Caribbean beach) and 4 year old is beyond excited. I probably shouldn’t be so nervous, but the stakes always seem so high when you do things for the first time with kids.
Anon says
Caribbean beach resorts are the easiest vacations with kids imo. It will be so fun!
Anon says
Away Emily – I have a very very long comment in moderation basically saying the same thing! We just tackled two countries in 2 weeks with twin 3 year olds – would definitely do again, and I’m so glad we went for it.
Anon says
I’m TTC now and one of those people who has always been a little worried about giving things up after having kids (especially since my best friend is having a rough time getting out and doing things with her kid). I absolutely love reading these success stories!
anon says
Travel with kids is totally doable! It looks different than prekids, for sure, but we took our twins to Europe for the first time at 13 months and have no regrets.
Cb says
Totally doable. One of favourite trips was Berlin with my then 18 month old. And kiddo and I did 2 weeks solo in Lisbon.
Anon says
I only have one kid but we have not slowed down at all travel-wise. My 5 year old has been to Europe half a dozen times, plus lots of places in North America and the Caribbean. Cost is the rate limiting factor for us for “big” trips, and would be the only reason we’d have to cut back if we had two kids. Trans-Atlantic plane tickets are not cheap, especially these days.
GCA says
That is lovely! Glad it all worked out. Your big kid ages are perfect for getting back into more adventurous travel! What were your & their highlights from France?
Also reporting back on travel success: I just did a day in Manhattan with DD, who is almost 5. We took an early train down from Boston, ran some errands all over Midtown, and met friends for lunch at Alice’s Tea Cup. Then we checked in to our hotel room and decompressed for an hour, went to the Museum of Math and the Lego store, and finally ended up at Madison Square Park for the playground/ splash pad/ dog-watching at the dog run + dinner at Shake Shack. (There is an Eataly across the street, a Malaysian restaurant by Union Square, and any number of great Korean restaurants near the Empire State Building, for those of you whose children are more adventurous eaters.)
A friend who used to be a professional NYC nanny suggested bringing DD’s scooter – and her advice was spot on. I logged 12,000 steps on top of subway and bus rides, and I imagine there would have been significantly more whining if DD had to walk all over the place!
AwayEmily says
That sounds awesome! I took the 7yo alone to NYC earlier this summer and we had a great time. the scooter is an amazing idea — both there and in Paris, the kids’ ability to walk was a real limiting factor.
The highlights of our France trip were the fun fair in the Tuileries Garden outside the Louvre, the Picasso museum in Antibes, and the many, many croissants we ate. I think the baby is now half croissant. The one tough part was how many restaurants close from 2 – 7, which makes it really hard to eat out with kids (at least with our kids, who were exhausted by then). We did not manage a single dinner out at a restaurant.
Anon says
We had the exact same problem in Paris. People here will tell you it’s a Europe-wide problem, but we found it much easier to eat in decent (not fancy, but not super touristy) restaurants at 6 pm in Italy, Spain and Portugal. I do think France (or at least Paris) is a little unique in having almost nothing open until 7 pm. Just something to keep in mind for future trips.
Anonymous says
Scooters are very key for kids a bit too old for strollers in NYC. One tip – if you attach a short loop or leash to the post it makes it easier to tow the scooter without bending over and killing your back if your child is too tired/ornery to actually scoot but will accept a tow. Depending on how tall you are, you only need a foot or two of length. We did many a tow on our preschool transit commute.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I’m losing it. I’m just at my limit – last week I had a cluster of appointments for DS #2 (nothing special, just a few regular things that ended up all in the same week), work is toxic and unstable – I’m looking but as you all may know, the market is pretty tight, we had multiple other obligations last week/weekend (in hindsight, I could have skipped at least one) so I’m running on minimal to 0 downtime.
This AM I realized I forgot to make our CC payments – I handle our finances. Luckily I was able to quickly rectify and get the late fees waived, but still. I also have two returns I need to make in the trunk of my car, a belated dentist appointment (for me) to make, a trip to our bank to make a deposit that I can’t do via ATM, and I left DS #2’s water bottle at his doctor’s office last week and still need to go and get it (it’s literally 5 minutes from our house).
DH and I are going to sit down tomorrow night to find a better approach on the finances so there’s no single point of failure. I know he’s at his limit too so I want to be mindful but also not a martyr.
I was planning to go exercise around 4 PM today after signing off of work but it seems like I’m better off getting some of these errands done. I’d welcome any tips on how y’all tread water in these situations. And we have ample childcare/family help – maybe I’m just not working smart?
BTW – thanks for all the feedback on DS #2’s toddler behavior yesterday. I ended up putting them in a word document and sharing with DH. Super helpful and validating!
Anonymous says
This is all so relatable. The past three weeks of my life have been consumed with work deadlines and sick kids. I kept telling myself “it’s temporary: work will slow down” but I know that isn’t true. Things we’re trying: We’re looking for an after-school nanny. I’m trying out a laundry service. I’m looking to hire a housekeeper. DH and I are going to sit down and do some meal planning. I’m also guarding my personal time: instead of logging on after the kids go to bed, I’m meeting friends. This comes at the cost of DH having to do bedtime routine but it’s necessary. We’re both trying hard to get some individual time way from kids. At the beginning of summer we set up a standing date on a week night, and that’s been amazing for our relationship. I don’t feel like any of this is saving me, but I also dug this hole over several months so it’s going to take some time.
Anonymous says
I would prioritize paying bills on time above most other things because of the collateral consequences of wrecking your credit score. My system is
1) Automate recurring payments of fixed amounts
2) Create a calendar reminder for credit card payments
3) For other bills (medical, utilities, etc.), set them all to come to the same e-mail address which is not one you use for on-line shopping so they don’t get buried in spam. Check this e-mail account daily and pay any bills that come in immediately. For paper bills, I set the bill in front of my computer when I bring in the mail and then pay it the next day. I check my checking and credit card accounts, update my budget spreadsheet, and pay bills at a set time each day. Before starting work in the morning may be easiest to remember.
Anonymous says
Some periods of life are just chaos. You sound like you’re doing fine. I find calendaring the small errands at lunch time once or twice a week helps me take a proper lunch and knock something tiny but bothersome off the list – like set a day to pick up the water bottle.
Automate everything you can. I can’t remember the last time I manually paid a credit card bill. We have one each and they’ve both been on autopay for the full amount each month for the last two decades. We occasional rotate which cards for airline points bonuses but they are always but on autopay immediately and we only have two at a time – one visa and one mastercard. Less stuff is less stuff to manage.
Mary Moo Cow says
Make the dentist appointment now (just pick up the phone and do it before you back out) and absolutely knock off and get the exercise in. You’ll feel better.
Are the returns in store? If you have the option of mailing, schedule a USPS pick up.
I find myself not working smart a lot, and when I move my body, more falls into place, even when I reluctantly exercise at the perceived cost of running errands.
Anonymous says
Exercise. Never go get that water bottle. Drop an appointment on your calendar to call the dentist next week. Set up auto pay on your credit cards. Ask your husband to make the deposit this weekend while you do the returns.
Anon says
I’ve done the CC payments thing. Auto payments are an option if you are payments are standard and you will always have enough in your bank account to cover. Those things weren’t true for me, so I have set up one day a month that I always set aside to schedule payments and move money into the account from which my CC payments are deducted. It’s a nonnegotiable date. I have it on my calendar and if I have a conflict, I move it to the day before (or whatever works).
I’ve also given up on the returns. They would just roll around my car until the window expired. I try not to buy anything that I’m unsure of now online or in person or that I’m not okay with losing the money from not returning. I just don’t have the mental bandwidth to add something else to the list of tasks. I’d also chalk the water bottle up to a lost item and call it a day.
Anon says
Be mindful of interest, which can be a much bigger charge than late fees. You’ll probably want to pay your next bill early (as soon as it closes) so as not to carry another month of accruing interest. (I learned this the hard way recently so no judgment!)
Vicky Austin says
Treading water is too real! I am also in a very chaotic season of life right now (moving cross-country with a baby, career uncertainty for me, DH’s dad just had surgery, the A/C knocked out last night and we’re supposed to hit record-breaking highs in Texas today, did I mention we have a small baby??!).
I totally agree with setting up as much autopay as you can and literal, actual calendar reminders for the rest. I actually have a task every Friday morning for 10 minutes to check our finances/budget app. The notification goes off while I’m at work so I can just open a separate tab to log in and take a brain break for a minute. I’d definitely see if you can delegate the returns, the water bottle and/or the dentist appointment to somebody else in your village – family or nanny or whoever can help.
And take the exercise time! I promise it’ll help somehow – exercise makes you sleep better, which might make everything you’re dealing with seem surmountable. You got this!
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Thank you all!
I do have a reminder on my calendar for the CC bills, but it’s not a hard calendar block so need to fix that – clearly I’m ignoring the reminder.
I had 11:30-Noon free plus an all-hands type call Noon-1, so I listened in while stopping by the post office for that darned return (just had to scan the QR code), making the cash deposit, picking up lunch for me as a treat (ordered via website), and getting that water bottle! I was home in time for my 1 PM. I feel SO MUCH BETTER.
Anonymous says
Idk man but I’ve been in charge of paying the credit card bill since 1999- first mine then mine/DH’s. This year I missed two payments because I just….forgot.
Anon says
My son’s 7th birthday is the first week of August and we planned a fun party for him at a local ninja gym. Knowing that this is a tough time of year with vacations, we invited way more kids than we normally would, about 20, and we sent the invitations far in advance. We were hoping that at least ten would be able to attend, but even with upping the guest list, only four kids can make it. He’s devastated. Looking for advice on how to 1) help him get over the fact that his party will be so much smaller than all of the ones he’s attended in the past/a lot of his close friends won’t be there and 2) how to make the party feel “fuller” and “bigger” than it will be.
We can’t move the party to have it at home as our current house and yard aren’t really set up for it and we don’t want to cancel as this is the first birthday party he’s had since 2019 due to a variety of factors. What can I do?
Anon says
I would invite some of your adult friends just to fill out the room and have the buzz of voices. Then I would also consider whether there are other loosely connected groups you could invite, like the kids from a day camp that he only met for that one week or friends of a friend. This sucks, I’m sorry.
Anonymous says
Next year, postpone the party until after school has started.
anon says
It won’t help this year, but I know of several summer birthday kids who have their birthday parties in September, after school is back, every year.
Has he met any other kids at camp, the neighborhood, or from other places that he’d want to invite? I’d keep inviting to see if you can up the attendance a bit.
Anon says
Awww. Is there any type of upgrade you can make to the gym’s party package or bring in some kind of outside entertainment (like someone dressed up as a superhero?) to make it feel more special? This might sound insane but maybe a limo ride to and from the gym (and pick up any of the other guests who live near you if possible). Do the kids who are coming have siblings you could invite as well? Sometimes moving a party to a smaller room at the facility can make it feel more full with fewer attendees.
NYCer says
I do not have any great advice for this year (ugh, I am sorry), but one option for future years would be to schedule his party before school gets out or in September once school is back in session. This is a fairly common solution amongst my kids’ friends who have summer birthdays.
That being said, ninja gyms are a blast, so hopefully your son and the 4 kids who can make it will end up having a great time!
[Feel free to totally disregard this comment if you want! I am not trying to criticize the plan for this year in any way, just letting you know what some people in our circle do for summer bdays.]
AIMS says
Maybe you can plan him a 7.5 year party in February to soften the blow? I have a friend whose daughter has a mid august bday and this is what they do to get fuller attendance (they usually do a fun family day for the actual bday and go to an amusement park or something along those lines).
Anonymous says
We do this too. My summer bday kid has a valentines party. It’s not a bday party but it’s a fun event! My October kiddo also has a June pool party.
OOO says
My DS’s birthday is at the same time. Summer birthdays are tough. Sending out invites as early as possible is good, but they can get lost/forgotten. If some families haven’t RSVP’ed at all you can send them a reminder email. Can guests bring siblings? Does the ninja gym offer any extras, like time with the instructor? Sorry I haven’t been to a ninja gym so I don’t know much about them. Can you get personalized ninja headbands for each kid on Etsy? Can you put together some epic goody bags? Smaller parties are often the best and most memorable, and have more potential to make them feel special.
OOO says
https://www.etsy.com/listing/616074018/personalized-ninja-face-headbands?click_key=1f9b9d07547a29dd49a65ad8ba7f4c1398fa11c0%3A616074018&click_sum=ed408de5&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=ninja+headband&ref=sr_gallery-1-3&organic_search_click=1&bes=1
Anonymous says
I would tell him you’ll do a September party next year, make the best of it with the smaller group this year, and give him a gift like tickets to a live event/ movie /etc he’d want to see in the fall, with enough seats to bring a friend or two. It sucks, and it’s also life. It could be worse–my birthday is Xmas!
TheElms says
Can you take him and his close friends out to see a movie or to the pool, once they are back in town?
Anonymous says
Do the kids who can come have siblings in the same age range that your son knows? Since you had budgeted for 20 anyway, maybe let the parents know that siblings can attend too? That way there will be more kids/excitement.
In the future, I’d try to do a party later in August, closer to when school restarts because I find fewer people travel the last weekend before school starts back.
Anon says
I’ve seen people post on local Facebook parenting groups that they didn’t have enough guests for a party. For a tween or teen I think having strangers there is likely to cause the kid more embarrassment than having a small party, but at 7 you can probably get away with it? We went to one once (for an 5 year old) and although neither kids nor adults became BFFs, the party was really fun and we’ve had a few play dates.
Anonymous says
My 7 year old would be so confused if I did this! I guess this is know you’re audience but I think generally this isn’t a good idea for 7.
Anonymous says
I have a summer bday kiddo and we do a few things- some of these are for next year, some can still work this year.
– ask a few friends in advance about vacation plans, then pick a date. This way we know we’ll have at least 4-5 kids and everyone else is gravy.
– go for smaller parties but make them amazing. My kid had her 6th birthday at build a bear and I walked out spending only $400 on the whole party (including food) and each kid got like $65 worth of build a bears. I think we had 4 guests and it was just perfect. If your case maybe see if they can do something extra cool at the location because they are a small group.
– invite siblings! We had one summer party during COVID where we only had 5 kids but they each brought siblings (many are friends with my other kids) and it ended up being a big bash.
Anonymous says
Oh- and invite all camp friends!
Anonymous says
I know this board is intended for a very privileged set but omg “only” $400 for a party for a 6 year old?!? We are definitely in the “go to the park” or “take two friends bowling” sector of birthday party budgets and we are upper middle class.
Anon says
I think it was more expressing surprise that each kid got $65 worth of bears for that price.
That said, a standard preschool party in our area is two hours at an indoor play place which can easily run $500 for ~20 kids with venue and food charges. We are very comfortable, as our most people on our guest list, but incomes are a lot lower than many here (high five figures/low six). We also don’t buy our kid physical presents – the class party is our gift to her and she gets plenty of stuff to open from friends and family.
Anonymous says
I posted that. I’m in the burbs and to have 10-12 kids at a ninja warrior place is $350. Plus cake, goody bags, etc. i had one kid’s party there in May.
Trampoline park is like $450 for 15 kids. Apple picking (includes cake and goodie bags) is I think $25/kid with a $300 minimum.
My older two have moved on to slumber parties etc and I’m so happy about it. Oldest and her bff went to an amusement park for her 12th and I happily paid for that.
we've had this says
Can you postpone? We did that for our kid a couple years ago and everyone understood. We did it right before school came back and everyone was happy to get together at that time. Same kid’s late July birthday has a party in mid-August this year again.
Anonymous says
It seems like there might be an upside to it being a small group – will each kid get more turns at each activity? Maybe there is a way to sell it.
Anonymous says
No good advice, just commiseration from a fellow August birthday kid. I think planning to have smaller but more amazing parties is a good idea (and maybe check in with families of close friends earlier in the summer so you can set a date when there will be a good crew of kids available). My experience was that postponing until September just meant that families were busy with school stuff on weekend (plus party competition with September birthdays). I also brought in birthday treats to school on my half birthday.
anon says
A slight follow up on the redshirt thread where this sort of came up.
I have a 9 yo, rising 5th grader, who is in a tech / athletics camp this week. They reorganized the camp to balance the section sizes, combining rising 2nd-4th and bumping up rising 5th to the “senior” section so it’s now rising 5th – rising 10th combined. So now my 9 yo is now unexpectedly in the older group.
She’s the only girl in her group of 13-15 kids, with the other kids being boys ranging in age from 10-15 yo. She has a rising 7th or 8th grade boy as her lab partner for the two week session.
How would you feel about this?
Anon says
It depends on your kid, honestly, but under the scenario you’ve described, I would ask her what she wants to do. If there are other girls around her age that were in the younger group, she might want to be moved down. I can’t imagine the camp won’t honor that request.
NYCer says
+1. I would definitely follow your daughter’s lead. She may not want to be with the 7 year olds who are just going in to 2nd grade. I do not think you particularly need to worry about her having a boy lab partner who is 2 years older than her though. The camp has lots of supervision in the lab I am guessing, and it is only one week.
GCA says
Agree, this is what I’d do too.
Anon says
+1. If your kid is okay with it, I’d let it go, especially for the tech part of it.
anon says
So far she seems okay with it.
She’d consider it a huge demotion to be moved down to a younger group so I don’t think that’s an option. (I’m not going to kill her confidence by doing that.) I could try to get her moved to a different section that has girls (e.g., digital photography) but then I’d be pulling her out of her preferred tech topic (robotics) and that doesn’t feel appropriate. She really wants to do robotics and is very excited about the project.
Right now I think I’m going to just keep asking each day how it went. If anything seems off, I’ll talk to the director ASAP. Fingers crossed they’re well supervised and the group dynamic remains positive.
Anon says
I’d give her a pep talk before each day, too. She deserves to be there and be heard just as much as the older boys.
anonamommy says
I would probably not request a change as of now, but mention it to the director and ask them to keep a close eye on the dynamics in the camp, with respect to language/crassness but also inclusion. Emphasize that your daughter loves robotics and is excited and you want to make sure that she has the supportive environment that you expect.
Anonymous says
Tech/athletics is an odd camp theme! I would not want a 9-year-old girl in with all older boys for either of these things. My daughter’s experience with science camps was that even the boys her own age shoved her out of the way. Older ones will completely ignore her. I’d ask for her to be placed in the younger group where she will have a fighting chance of actually participating in labs, or pull her out and send her to a different camp if possible.
Anonymous says
I’d be fine with it. Her lab partner is 2 years old which is the same difference between the 2nd and 4th graders in the younger group. A bit of exposure to older kids for a couple weeks isn’t a big deal in my view but YMMV of course.
Anonymous says
Exposure to older girls would be great, but IME an all-boys environment would be terrible.
Anon says
+1 it’s not ideal but it’s not the end of the world, IMO.
Fwiw I said this on the red-shirting thread too, but for girls who are accelerated in math and science, being in groups that are dominated by older boys is often inevitable. I think it’s important for girls to learn to hold their own among boys.
Anonymous says
They can learn to hold their own among boys in high school and college. Not at a summer camp that is supposed to be fun and might dampen her enthusiasm for science forever.
Anon says
I certainly agree the summer camp should be fun, and if it’s not fun that mom should get involved, but I think you’re leaping to conclusions that this won’t be fun for her just because she has to partner with an older boy. I was often in large groups of boys at that age and it was fine. Not every girl is a delicate flower who needs to be sheltered from big mean boys.
Anonymous says
Well, I’m glad to hear that little Anon was a much tougher and more meritorious girl than my delicate little flower who doesn’t like getting pushed around by aggressive obnoxious boys.
anon says
She is far from a shrinking violet and can hold her own on technical topics. She won’t let anyone take over the project from her. She is good with circuitry and very comfortable with tools/power tools. She has a good head for construction and likes to solve problems.
I’m more concerned about crass jokes and innuendo. She doesn’t have older siblings or cousins and hasn’t been exposed to much. When she isn’t taking apart electronics, she likes to play dolls and pretend with her sister. She’s very, very young, in that way.
Anon says
OP, being academically advanced but young-for-grade in terms of things like dolls and pretend play described me too. I think it’ll be ok! There shouldn’t be much in the way of crass jokes at a well-supervised camp.
Anon says
Anon at 11:34, not saying I’m more meritorious than anyone. I’ve just spent almost my whole life (starting around the OP’s daughter’s age) in male-dominated STEM-focused environments and resent the idea that girls can’t hold their own around boys. I could and it sounds like OP’s daughter can.
It’s borrowing trouble to assume this will be an awful experience just because there are older boys. If it is an awful experience, mom should certainly not turn a blind eye to it. We agree on that point. But I think odds are good it will be fine!
Anon says
OP here, I am a STEM PhD and spent many years in a male dominated tech environment. I was at an engineering school and was often the only female in my college classes, even big classes with 50-100 students. It was mostly fine, but sometimes really not okay at all. I got through those moments, but I guess I’d assumed that by now things would be more balanced?!?! Are there really that few girls that want to learn about robotics? I’m sure she will be fine too, I just didn’t expect to face this at 9 yo. It’s a lot to ask of a kid.
Anonymous says
My daughter was interested in robotics in early elementary. She went to a great Lego robotics camp in second grade that was 50/50 girls/boys. By fourth or fifth grade the engineering-type camps were dominated by boys, so she stopped going. I think it’s a negative feedback loop.
Anon says
If the crass jokes and innuendo exposure is a concern, I’d talk to her about it, and I would talk to the admin of the camp about it. You can’t protect her from that forever, and this could be the perfect time to talk to her about those things and what to do if someone is saying something that makes her uncomfortable.
Anonymous says
+1. I was young for my grade and interested in camps that for whatever reason had more boys than girls. She needs to learn to advocate for herself now and reinforce her enthusiasm (in a supportive environment obviously!) because it’s just going to be tougher in high school and college. Unfortunately, there’s probably still going to be a lot of bias against women in STEM when she gets to HS and college, and teachers/professors aren’t going to be keeping as close of an eye on group dynamics at that point.
anon says
If he’s older for his grade and a rising 8th grader, he’d be about 4 years older.
Anon says
Even standard age for his grade would 13 going into 8th.
Anonymous says
I would find it unacceptable and a sign this camp is poorly run
Anon says
+1. I’d find a different camp.
anon says
That is a bizarre age split that doesn’t seem good for anyone, and that’s not even touching the gender issue. I would follow your daughter’s lead and see how it goes, but I wonder how they thought it was a good idea for 5th graders to be lumped in with high school students.
Anonymous says
They probably didn’t think it was a good idea and were just doing the best they could with the numbers they had.
Anonymous says
I have a daughter going into 4th who is about to turn 10 and she loves being aged up. I’d ask your daughter and follow her lead.
It sounds like there are no other 8/9/10 year old girls which might be a problem with the camp, not the age buckets.
anon says
I don’t know the exact gender breakdown in the junior group, but I expect that there are 8 and 9 yo girls in the 2nd-4th grade robotics cohort. The senior and junior groups are on alternating schedules, so they don’t mix at all.
There are 10 yo girls in the senior group, but not in robotics. The different tech specialties are together at lunch, but are separate for most activities.
I’d be happy having her in the younger group if all rising 5th graders were with that group, but I don’t want to single her out as the only 5th grader who isn’t allowed to be in the senior group.
Anonymous says
Yeah, this sounds like a camp that is not even in high enough demand to fill all age groups regardless of gender. This is often a sign of low quality; if it were a good program, word would get out and it would fill up.
Anon says
Not necessarily – some of the best camps my kid has done have been severely undersubscribed. There are a lot of factors besides quality that determine how fast a camp fills, including cost, location and hours. The Y camps in my area have a bad rep but fill early because they have long hours and are cheap (I know this is highly local and I’m not casting aspersions on Y camp in general).
anon says
The camp filled up in January. It’s full and very popular. It also has one of the best reputations in the area for teaching advanced tech topics. The coding section is especially popular.
Anon says
I would absolutely take her lead on this one, but assuming she wants to stay, I would see about switching her partner to a 10-11yo boy rather than a rising 8th grader. That’s a big age difference, gender notwithstanding. (But also – girls mature faster than boys. I have a rising 5th grade girl and a rising 7th grade boy, and she crushes him all the time.)
Anon says
My daughter is 10 months old and an excellent sleeper. In the mornings she wakes up initially around 8am, and she’ll usually hang out in her crib falling in and out of sleep until 9:30ish, when she stands up/indicates she wants to get up. We put her down for a nap at the first sign of sleepiness, and that’s usually before 11am. Then she’ll sleep for 3-4 hours, with a chunk of that time being spent awake and chilling. I guess I’m wondering, is it fine to leave her be if she seems content? It seems like she’s spending more and more time that way. We don’t adhere to any schedule and just follow her cues, and it’s leading to a ton of sleep + rest. Is there any reason to eventually impose a schedule just to have one? And when?
Anon says
No need to impose a schedule now unless the adults need one. My daughter was similar and used to spend a lot of time talking to herself in her crib. She’s a social 5 year old now, but still great at independent play.
Anonymous says
No need to impose a schedule but I’d check in with the pediatrician that they are comfortable with this, it’s just not as much wakeful time as you’d expect for a kid her age. Especially since you say it’s trending more and more asleep when you’d expect the reverse.
anon says
What time does she go to sleep at night? To be honest, 1.5 hours of hanging out in her crib from 8-9:30 am seems like a lot to me. Sure if it was 4:00 am I might leave her alone that long, but I would probably take her out sooner given it is pretty late and try to get the day going.
Anonymous says
What’s the chunk of time spent awake during the afternoon nap? Like before she falls asleep for a nap or she wakes up and then you leave her in the crib for another hour? I would get her out of the crib when she wakes up so she can play/interact with people
Anon says
Short term high sleep needs can be related to growth spurts. My kid tended to chunk up as a baby and then shoot up, but I know lots of kids who kept food intake the same and slept more. If it lasts for a couple weeks and you’re suddenly buying new baby clothes, just know that this may come up in the future.
And some kids are just have high sleep needs (I do as an adult!). My daughter has never slept as much as the books said she should, starting on the first day we came home from the hospital. I kept bothering the pediatrician about it, but was told that as long as she was happy, growing and hitting milestones it was fine.
So Anon says
Hi all! I stepped away for a bit as I wound down my last role, took three weeks off, and started my new gig. Leaving my old role and company was hard because I had made some truly great friends in the trenches. That being said, even with the benefit of 6 weeks of space, I can see more and more by the day how utterly horrible my prior boss was and how grateful I am for having made the jump. At my old role, I wasn’t “allowed” to email, chat, or meet with anyone my boss considered her peer unless she was cc:ed or also invited. First two weeks in the new job, and I met with tons of folks. I asked my boss if she wanted to be cc:ed or included, and she responded, “I have my own work to do. Let me know if anything interesting comes up,” and that was that. I have interesting, ridiculously complicated work and peers that are fantastic. I know that there are bumps ahead (like the total crisis of confidence of last week when I was overcomplicating an issue), but I’m really grateful that I made the switch. In those three weeks of downtime, I rested, did a bunch of kid stuff, and also hired more help. I hired a grad student to pick my kids up a couple times per week and hired someone who comes when the kids are not here to help with household management. Right now, she is organizing my kids’ playroom and doing a deep clean of the fridge (she will also help with kid pick-up on her day). I also got back into running and signed up for races this fall, which is the motivation I need not ignore my runs in favor of scrolling social media. Now if would just stop raining in New England, that would be great. Anyway, I’m back and wanted to say thank you for the pushes over the past six+ months to make the transition!
Anonymous says
Congratulations! Enjoy it!
Mary Moo Cow says
Yay! I loved reading this update!
Boston Legal Eagle says
Congrats!! Sounds positive all around!
Vicky Austin says
That all sounds wonderful! Way to make it happen!
Anonymous says
Congrats!!