Makeup & Beauty Monday: Brilliant Glossing Shampoo with Olive Oil

I found this shampoo by accident. It honestly would never occur to me to spend more than $5 on shampoo, but after trying this one, I’ve heavily considered buying it myself. The way I was introduced to this shampoo was that my sister-in-law left her bottle in the shower at my in-laws’ house. I couldn’t resist trying it when I spotted it, and I really loved how it made my hair feel and look. You don’t need a lot of it to work up a rich lather, it smells great, and it made my hair shiny yet volumized. If I were to buy my own bottle, I’d probably save it for once a week or before a big event. This shampoo is available at Target and is $28.49. Even knowing how much I like it, I am still sensitive to the price, but maybe in a weaker, treat-myself moment, I’ll end up getting it. Brilliant Glossing Shampoo with Olive Oil

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  1. Anonymous says:

    What are your favorite jeans brands these days? After a few years of Old Navy Rockstars, I’d really like something that is more flattering on me and (relatedly) holds its shape better. Thanks!

    • Anonymous says:

      J Crew. I’m tall and slender-ish.

    • anne-on says:

      Madewell. The roadtripper jean is SUPER comfy, and the high waisted ones are great at containing the mom pooch.

    • I bought 2 pairs of Raleigh Denim jeans and now I don’t wear any of my other jeans. They are local to me, and I’m not sure how widely available they are otherwise. Also $$. But worth it to me.

    • Gap, usually in the curvy skinny, real straight or modern bootcut.

    • I am 5’3″ and lack curves.
      I just splurged and got a pair of jeans from Madewell and I love them- high waisted, but don’t at all feel like mom jeans. They have a denim recycling program where if you bring in old jeans, you get a $20 off coupon.
      On the cheaper side, I have had good luck with Uniqlo, Tommy Hilfiger, and Banana Republic Petite.

    • My favorites right now are AGs. They are expensive, but I often wear jeans to the office and I tend to own very few pairs.

      I have a pair of Madewells, but I think the fabric is very thin and not flattering on my slender apple shape. It tends to hug into my waist, and creates a muffin top at my sides when I wear a top that even remotely skims my stomach.

    • Anonymous says:

      Frame (expensive, but awesome) and NYDJ

  2. Tfor22 says:

    I have a trip to Seattle later this week, any recommendations? I have about two afternoons free outside of my conference. I really like Northwest Coast art and would enjoy a gallery or boutique. I also thought I’d go running and visit the Brooks running store for fun.

    • anne-on says:

      If you have not been to Seattle before, I would definitely make sure you’re prepared to encounter a LOT of homelessness/litter/panhandling/drug paraphernalia during your run. I’m from NY originally and I was really surprised by how bad it was even in ‘nice’ areas – just please be very aware of your surroundings while running and have your phone on you in case you need it.
      That being said, Pike Place market had some amazing restaurants – Matt’s and Lowells were both good – and try to sit upstairs for the views. I enjoyed hitting the ‘original’ Nordstrom and there are a ton of shops in and around that area. Enjoy – I really did love Seattle.

    • Chihuly museum is great and probably an easy “afternoon off” type thing to do. I love taking the ferry to Bainbridge on a nice day for the views when the mountains are out, but that’s a longer time commitment (unless you want to do dinner over there which could be a nice plan).

      Ballard/Fremont have so many cool microbreweries and coffee shops, that’s also an easy way to spend some time.

      I’ve never gone running in Seattle, but I’ve been to many local parks while biking or walking (Golden Gardens, Discovery Park, Gasworks) and I didn’t think the itinerant element was any worse than Boston. I think most people jog around Lake Union?

      Downtown touristy areas esp Pioneer sq and Pike Place are bad for panhandlers, but that’s on par with any city’s touristy area.

  3. Anonymous says:

    J Brand has been working well for me. I’m tall and sort of straight/apple-ish.

  4. AnotherAnon says:

    We’re getting ready to add another kid to our family of 3. By that I mean we are going to open our home to another foster baby. With the caveat that we don’t know the timing, age or sex of our future little; what is your best advice for going from 1-2 kids?

    • In House Lobbyist says:

      I would think a car seat is the most important. Next would be pack n play or toddler bed. Diapers, clothes and food are easily picked up at any store quickly.

      • AnotherAnon says:

        I was looking more for reflections on how your life is different with two kids in ways that you had or hadn’t anticipated. I appreciate your advice though!

        • In House Lobbyist says:

          Sorry – I had a family member who is a teacher that become a foster parent unexpectedly recently to a student and younger siblings so I guess I was thinking logistics.

    • Anonymous says:

      I would say it depends on the age of your current child. If your current child is still baby/toddler, then prepare for lots of regressions and possibly acting out. This would be true no matter how the second child arrives. (Maybe even true at early pk). By 4+ I think the addition of another child is easier to understand because they just are more logical at that point. So you will have to consider talking to them about the circumstances under which they might have a little sibling (and whether that will be permanent or not). I really don’t know anything about that but I am in awe of foster parents so thanks for opening your heart like that.

      So aside from preparing your current child, there are logistical issues. Now there are TWO of them and TWO of you so at best you have 1-on-1 time but there may be times when it’s 2 kids vs 1 adult. And that is hard (at least, I have found it very overwhelming to be in charge of 2+ small people on my own). So be prepared to just feel like you never have any time to yourself, at least during the transition time (which may be 2 years if you get a tiny baby! Tiny babies don’t get substantially easier until they are 2, in my experience).

      On the other hand, a baby is a source of fascination for young kids – even if they are only a few months older than the newcomer, so that is fun. And it’s enthralling to see how your #1 whom you love so much can love another little being too – it’s literally the best thing ever and I have felt my heart growing when I see my kids loving on each other. (And the flip side is true too sadly.)

      Not sure what else I can contribute, but I hope this is useful. Good luck!

  5. Home Improvement says:

    We’re considering a home renovation project that would cause some dust (retexturing most of the house, but ourselves, so slowly). We have a three year old. Thoughts on (1) whether you’d worry about your toddler breathing in the dust, and (2) ways to make it more safe?

    • Anonymous says:

      I wouldn’t worry about a toddler breathing dust unless they have breathing issues or you think there’ll be dangerous materials like asbestos involved.

    • Sarabeth says:

      How old is the house? If there is any chance that lead paint is involved, then yes, I’d be very worried.

      Otherwise, I would try to minimize the dust, but wouldn’t freak out too much. You can read up on lead-safe renovation techniques for general dust management tips anyway. Things like wetting paint before scraping or sanding, taping off the room your working in with plastic, etc. To be clear, though – I would not DIY any of this if lead is actually present.

    • Home Improvement says:

      Thanks! Not worried about lead or asbestos. The house is less than 15 years old. It just has a very heavy faux-plaster finish that is not our taste. We really can’t bring ourselves to spend the money to have someone retexture for us since it is purely cosmetic and we need to spend bigger portions of the renovation budget on things we truly can’t do ourselves at this point.

    • Can you put up plastic tarps ( from ceiling to floor) and block off the part of the house you are working in? Beyond breathing you will want that dust to stay out of everything. It literally will get everywhere.

      You can hire a cleaner who is trained to clean up construction dust. Most are not willing to do this type of work so you might have to do some research.

      In addition I would get:
      Industrial strength Air filters
      Really good Allergy vacuum – (Miele)

      Another option is trying to find sometime where your kid can go stay with a grandparent and spend a long weekend working around the clock to get the biggest dust parts done. That way your kid isn’t around the project and you can get it done faster.

      • +1 plastic tarps. We did this when we refinished the floors- basically sealed sections of the house off as “clean” while the other sections where being refinished.

        You can also buy something called a “dust collection unit” that you hook up to whatever device you’re using and it sucks most of it in. It’s primarily for woodworking so not sure how application it is to the plaster…?

  6. Co-sign Madewell. The 10″ or 11″ rise with no or little stretch work best for me, but they have a variety of styles. More expensive than Old Navy but not quite as bad as some of the premium brands. Plus they’ve held up well

  7. Do you find premium shampoos really make a difference? I’ve started to buy them from my hairdresser (Ouidad mostly) but I’m not sure there’s a drastic change from my drugstore days. I have a purple conditioning mask that I really like, but apart from that haven’t found any magic hair products that I really love

    • I wonder this too. It’s hard to find unbiased opinions because it seems like hair stylists generally recommend salon brands but I question their motives. And then there are always articles from celebrity stylists about the drugstore brand(s) they like and use. I asked my stylist whether fancy shampoo would make my color last longer, and she said not really. I wonder if my hair would look better or be healthier if I used more expensive shampoo, but I hate the trial and error (and expense) that comes with trying to find the right one.

    • I use a premium conditioner (biolage matrix in the purple – hydrating something or other) and that makes a huge difference, but for shampoo I just stick with regular head & shoulders.

      • Walnut says:

        +1 I’ve used the Biolage deep conditioner for 10+ years and anytime I’ve tried something else, I’ve run back to it. For shampoo I use one of the L’Oreal sulfate free drug store ones.

    • I’m not sure. I’ve had hairdressers ooh and aah at how healthy my hair was (on drugstore shampoo and conditioner) and then try and recommend (sell) a bunch of expensive products to me. Um, if my hair is so healthy, why do I need to change anything up? I don’t go to those salons anymore. I can’t stand people trying to sell me stuff.

      • Redux says:

        Same. I think some salons really pressure their stylists to make retail sales. I have changed salons a couple times because of this. My current stylist will usually tell me what she’s using on my hair, but never asks me to buy it.

        For my part, I use a sulfate-free shampoo for health/environmental reasons and a regular grocery store conditioner (whatever’s on sale in the Pantene price range).

    • I bought an expensive clarifying shampoo and deep conditioner that I use once per week. Both products were recommended by my hair dresser but not purchased from the salon (I bought them at Ulta, I think). My hair is noticeably softer and shinier after about six months of use. For day to day shampoo and conditioner, I stick with drug store brands.

    • Anonymous says:

      I have thin, fine hair, and premium shampoos do much better at making my hair look fuller/give me more volume.

    • Knope says:

      If you have curly hair, premium hair products make a WORLD of difference. Look up Curly Girl method – it’s so so important for most curly-haired people to not use products with sulfates or silicones.

      All that said, CVS carries a lot of salon-quality stuff (including Ouidad I think). Sign up for their loyalty card and they will send you coupons for 20-40% off all the time. I always stock up on nice hair stuff with those coupons.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Hi mom friends. I’m in the final stretches of preparing for my 1st baby. Just had my baby shower this weekend and now I’m looking to get the things I still need. While I got a bunch of cute outfits, I currently don’t have any plain white onesies. Few questions: (1) Do you have a favorite brand that is soft? I felt a few in stores that seemed to be really low quality material that felt scratchy, and I’d like to avoid that. (2) How many plain onesies would you recommend in each size for now? (3) Would you get short sleeve or long sleeve onesies for a winter baby (due very late November)?

    Thank you! This is the first baby in her generation on both sides of the family and I’m the first to have a baby in my friend group, so I really appreciate the info on this board!!

    • Anonymous says:

      My kid wore plain white onesies basically never. We don’t live in a particularly cold region, so I could see them being more useful if you needed to layer underneath the outfit but I always just had kid in either a cute outfit or a sleep’n’play.

    • I had an August baby and used white onesies as undershirts under her regular clothes most of her first two winters. It kept her shirt from riding up and exposing a cold belly. I often also layered her in two onesies just to keep her snug without bulk. Her room was chilly at night, so I even put her in a onesie as an undershirt under her fleece or flannel sleeper (plus swaddle or sleepsack).

      I got her the Gerber brand, but they run small. I liked the close fit since they were going under clothes, but still had to size up.

      • This is what I did too. I had a mid-September baby and live in the Midwest where it gets cold and snowy. I would layer long-sleeved white onesies under sleep sacks or swaddle blankets at night and under fleece sleepers for going to daycare. I liked the Carter’s brand.

    • Anonymous says:

      I don’t think you need plain white onesies if you have other clothes. I had a winter baby and we usually just put her to bed in a diaper and heavy swaddle (fleece or something similar). We do keep our house fairly warm though – about 70.. During the day she wore a lot of footie pajamas and usually napped in those.

    • anne-on says:

      Seconding the recommendation for the kimono style ones. I was SO nervous about shoving a onesie over my brand new babies head when they are just SO wobbly at first. After 2-3 months I got much better/less nervous . White onesies are also great for layering under ‘cute’ outfits or as backups when they have poop explosions. I either bleached or tossed the really gross ones. Gerber brand on amazon worked best – they ran a teeny bit small but washed and held up really well.

      • Anonymous says:

        I always put onesies on over the butt before she could support her head. I personally found the kimono style ones harder to use.

      • aelle in aerospace says:

        I found the kimono ones great before they have neck control, but too many steps once my child was active and wouldn’t sit still to get dressed! I had an early mover who is also on the small side, so I had to move to regular onesies in fairly small sizes. So don’t fully stock up until you know your baby better. The shops will still be open when she’s born.

    • Gerber or Carter’s white onesies, the Gerber ones run a little smaller. For a newborn in November, assuming they’ll almost always be wearing one, I’d do about 8 in newborn size, 8-12 in 0-3. We loved the ones that folded over the hands, kept tiny sharp nails away from delicate faces.

    • In House Lobbyist says:

      I just used Carter ones. I liked the short sleeve or sleeveless one. I really only used them when it was really cold as an extra layer. You can order from Amazon. I also used the side snap ones with just a swaddle for my August baby.

      • Anonymous says:

        +1 on the sleeveless Carters. We’d put them under footed PJs during the day when it was really cold during the first winter (October baby).

        Otherwise we used short-sleeve white bodysuits for: (1)monthly pictures, (2)pjs at my in-laws who have something against AC in the summer.

    • I liked the gap ones, caveat that we almost never used them. At home my child was always in a zippered sleep and play or a cute outfit when we went out, and by the time she outgrew the sleep and plays, I loathe white of any kind on her because solids are a pain and crawling apparently my floors are not as clean as I think they are. White inevitably means an oxyclean soak or three.

    • The nicest quality onesies I had were Burt’s Bees. However, my kid went through so many outfits in the early days he wore whatever was clean – Gerber, Carter’s, etc.

    • Anonymous says:

      We do a lot of onesie plus soft pants if not in a footed sleeper (what are these “cute outfits” people keep mentioning??), So I would only bother with white if you care about matching onesie and pants or if you have no hand me down stash and are trying to get a while wardrobe cheap. My August baby is currently in long sleeves all the time. March baby when we loved in the south wore just a short sleeved onesie most of the time.

    • It depends on how you plan to use the onesies. If they’re for layering, I’d go with short-sleeve. For wearing alone, long-sleeve.

      I also had a late November baby in the Midwest, and I did a lot of layering with onesies under fleece footie jammies.

      I didn’t use plain white all that much; the patterned or colored ones were fine. Carter’s were my favorites; Gerber runs a full size too small.

      I don’t know what to tell you about quantity. For some reason, we got a LOT of onesies as gifts. If anything, we had way more than we actually needed.

    • I found the short sleeve kimono style undershirts more useful than the onesies- you could layer them under the sleeper for warmth like a onesie, but you don’t have to deal with them for diaper changes. We had the Gerber and Carters. They do tend to soften up after washing. Also- I found a poly/ cotton blend softer, but I don’t love polyester, so I didn’t have a lot of those.

    • I usually bought Carter or gymboree on sale, but I never bought white. I don’t have the patience for getting poop stains out of white. Dark colors hide the poop stains better.

    • rosie says:

      I actually really like onesies from H&M. Their “conscious” line has some long and short sleeve wrap style ones that we found easier to get on and off a floppy baby. Usually in store the conscious stuff seems to be buy 2 get 1.

    • Another vote for footed sleepers instead of onesies (we did have and use a few gerber onesies, which were fine, as well as many cute outfits that got worn once or twice, but baby spent most of the first 3 months of her life in footed sleepers). This was in winter but we live in LA, so it was almost always 60-75 degrees, and about 70 in our home. But get the ones with the reverse zip (ie can unzip from the foot up) – amazing for diaper changes. Cloud island at target makes them, as do some other brands online.

    • Thanks, all. I do plan to use them for layering mostly, but good to know I don’t have to stick to white since they likely won’t show through. (Seems obvious now haha.) Also good to know you all like the mass-market options that I’ve seen on Amazon. Thanks!

      • ashley says:

        I’ve had four babies, including one born in November. That little guy wore footed pjs for pretty much his first 2 months, unless he was going somewhere special. It was cold and that was the easiest way to keep him warm. And after all these babies, I’ve realized that what I really really love are Kissy Kissy outfits. For newborns, the converter gowns, snapped up as pants. They are so soft — softer than anything else — and so easy to get on. Kissy Kissy is definitely more expensive, but I’ve learned you really only need a handful. You end up doing the laundry so often.

    • Seafinch says:

      British baby clothes are vastly superior to what we get in North America. The cotton is beautiful and much softer. All three of my kids lived in onesies and I ordered from Next Direct, Marks & Spencer, and Mothercare.

      • Seafinch says:

        Should also say, they wore them under footed sleepers whether in a Canadian summer, Canadian winter or much more temperate German climate. Generally, they ought to have one more layer on than you do.

  9. Burlingame schools says:

    I posted on the main page but will try here as well. We’re considering a move to Burlingame, CA. Does anyone have an intel about the public elementary schools in that city? They all seem good according to the rankings but I know those don’t tell the whole story. Our kid is well ahead of his peers in terms of reading/math and was wondering what resources they may have for differentiation. I see that there is a private school nearby called Nueva which is supposed to be for “gifted” kids, but we would personally rather go the public route.

    • If you haven’t received responses here, you could ask your realtor (if you have one already) to connect you with a few parents in the know.

  10. I would buy the kimono style ones. I don’t have a brand name but they were so much easier to get on a wriggly baby who can’t support their head. H&m does multipacks of onesies that are very soft. I buy the burts bees pajamas and they are so nice. But don’t worry about getting colours – most baby clothes were thick enough that a onesie wouldn’t show through.

  11. Mattress? says:

    Does anyone have a crib mattress they recommend? I have naturpedic 2-stage mattresses for my twins and we’ve had them for 6 weeks and they are already sinking. i purchased them from Nordstrom, who has the best customer service ever and is willing to take them back, but does anyone have another recommendation. I had purchased them based on recs from Lucie’s List. I’ve never actually purchased a crib mattress before – are they supposed to sink in? also – is there a reason to actually have a 2 stage mattress or can a toddler just use the infant mattress side when it converts to a toddler bed?

    • Anonymous says:

      They aren’t supposed to sink. I did so much research on this and strongly recommend an organic latex one based on the nasty chemicals in most. Look up Organic Grace (a store).

      We have the “Organic & Natural Latex” crib mattress. It was $349 so pricey but we’ve had it for 10 years almost in non-stop use (crib infant 1, crib infant 2, crib converted to toddler bed for child 2, crib child 3) and it is still perfect. And although you are not “supposed” to use mattresses for multiple kids I have zero worries about this one because of the materials (there is no plastic whatsoever to degrade/off-gas/whatever). And it is in perfect shape. Plus no tiny infant ever slept in it, only once they were thrashing about. ;)

      Anyway, strongest possible endorsement for this kind of mattress – we’ve upgraded all of the beds in our house to the same kind of mattress. Our own queen size is going on 10 years; kid 1 has a twin that is 7 years, kid 2 has a twin that is going on 5 years, and when kid 3 finally outgrows the toddler bed we’ll get him a twin as well.

    • We love the Newton wovenaire one – super firm, no sagging at all after 2 years of daily use, and breathable.

  12. Does anyone have a suggestion for a crib mattress? I had purchased the Naturpedic 2-Stage mattress, but after only 6 weeks of use it is sinking! Are crib mattresses supposed to sink? I purchased it from Nordstrom who is willing to take it back. Is there a reason to actually have a 2 Stage mattress? I chose the one I did after reading Lucie’s List.

    • It shouldn’t be sinking. I recall researching mattresses to death and then just picking one at Buy Buy Baby, but my son is almost 3 (we flipped it to the toddler mattress side when he turned one), and have never noticed sinking on either side. I would send it back, because the sinking could be a safety issue, since it’s important for an infant mattress to be firm and flat.

    • We have the Colgate Eco Classica III I think, which is a 2-stage that we flipped at about 13 months and have not had sinking issues on either side. +1 on the safety issue Em mentioned, definitely take it back.

    • Anonymous says:

      We have a Colgate. I don’t remember the model – it might have been “exclusive” to Buy Buy Baby. It was in the $75-100 range. 2-sided. We didn’t flip it until closer to two years old. She was a good sleeper and we didn’t want to mess with a good thing.

    • Patty Mayonnaise says:

      A lot of friends have recommended Newton baby. Though I used the Naturepedic too – sounds like the same one you have, and didn’t experience the sinking issue!

  13. Gosh, that’s definitely not supposed to happen. I’ve got the cheapest IKEA mattress and there is no sign of sinking.

  14. Anonymous says:

    Is it unreasonable to request a lock on one’s office door so that one can pump? I’m a biglaw associate with a private office, but for whatever reason, we have a policy against locks on doors. It was no problem to lock my office in other offices I’ve been in. We have one of those emergency door stoppers (not sure what they are called) that I have been using, so I guess this is not a major issue, but I wish we would just capture the low-hanging fruit to give returning mothers a bit of a hand. (I know my situation is a lot better than most! Just annoyed.)

    • Not unreasonable at all. My office generally doesn’t have any locks on offices, but they installed one on my door when I returned from mat leave to pump. They just switched out the door handle, and then switched back when I was done pumping. I had a key and the office manager also had a key for unforeseen emergency purposes, but I really only ever locked it when I was actually inside.

    • Anonymous says:

      Is there a lactation room? Or is everyone expected to pump in their office? Either way, it doesn’t hurt to ask, but I think your chances are better of getting it if there is no room.

      • Anonymous says:

        There is, but pumping in my office is much more efficient. I asked and was turned down. Given the problems this industry has with retaining women in my situation, it’s silly that they aren’t bending over backward to make life more tolerable for new moms.

        • I’m in BigLaw, and if you want a lock you go to a pumping room. The rest of us just have a door hanger sign that says something like “nursing mom at work”, and our office is small enough that if the sign is up, no one comes within 10 feet of the door and is super apologetic about even calling you when the sign is up because older male partners, while clearly trying to be supportive, are totally mystified about how to handle the fact that there might be functional rather than decorative breasts in the workplace.

          • Anonymous says:

            ….because older male partners, while clearly trying to be supportive, are totally mystified…

            To be fair, I was pretty clueless about pumping before I’d actually done it. All I knew was to give people the time and space they needed to get it done.

    • Not unreasonable. All of the offices in my building have locks and I think our security rules actually say you’re supposed to lock it when you’re out of the office (though all admins & building managers have the keys).

    • Anonymous says:

      As a data point, my firm allows returning mothers to get a lock on the door and a minifridge if they are pumping when they return from maternity leave. So I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for this when comparable biglaw firms offer it.

    • Turtle says:

      Context: I’m not in big law and we don’t have a pumping room.

      I had a lock installed. It’s just a simple eye and hook that you’d find on the bathroom stall of your favorite dive bar. It just screwed into the metal frame around the door and into the wood door itself. It was about $2.99 on Amazon. I ordered it and nonchalantly asked the office admin to have the building services people come install it. Had I made any sort of formal request for a door knob lock it would have been a bigger issue than it needed to be with approvals, blah blah blah. I was fully prepared to show up with a drill and do it myself on the weekend if I got the slightest bit of resistance, which I didn’t thankfully.

      In case you’re in the market, I also got the 9-can gourmia mini fridge for my office. Works like a charm.

      • Anonymous says:

        I like the gumption! Now that I’ve raised it, I really don’t think I can ask the office services people to do this for me on the DL. I’ll just stick to the emergency crowbar thing, which is frankly less safe than having a door that locks with a key, but whatever. I’m just surprised that this is an Issue. I had bought the Gourmia fridge, but mine was a lemon and only ever heated up rather than cooling down! I never got around to buying another one and now just fight for space in the office fridge.

    • Redux says:

      If a lock is a no-go, a rubber doorstop works almost as well. And costs like 3$ from the office supply catalog. That, plus a sign on my door worked for me in my small nonprofit office that didn’t have a lock.

  15. After a weekend house party with a few couples who do not have kids, I realized just how often I let my child CIO, which of course is not an option in a home where people who do not have children actually sleep through the night. I am just exhausted, but at least last night when we put her down at home, she screamed bloody murder for 10 minutes and then slept through without a peep until 8:30. In other news, in witnessing the destruction a very active toddler can wreck on a non-baby-proofed house, endangering life, limb and property in approximately 2 minutes, I don’t think our friends will be having babies any time soon.

    And when I pulled out my laptop at work this morning, Llama Llama Easter Egg was tucked inside. Mom life?

    • Anonymous says:

      Oh no! What did she do? We haven’t really baby proofed beyond gates on the stairs and I’m wondering if we made a huge mistake.

      • I don’t think of our home as particularly baby-proofed; we mostly use containment zones (PNPs, playards, etc.), but I guess we’ve since moved all of the hazardous things out of reach. This house had lots of open container storage (glass recyclables, pots and pans, plastic bags, ping pong balls), unprotected open top trash cans, lots of breakables and small tchochkes of a choking hazard variety (spelling?) within toddler reach, lots of electronics on low-lying tables, open liquor bar carts, unprotected dog bowls, 100% open layout so no real way to contain, no gates on stairs. It was one diving save after another (and lots of mopping). Fortunately nothing was broken (other than a few shredded magazines), but I am quite bruised from quite a few diving saves and exhausted from constantly chasing after her to rescue one thing after another since she does not stop moving ever.

        • I hear you. I remember a vacation at a family member’s beach condo when Kiddo was about 2. The condo is lovely and comfortable, but there was no child-proofing, and there was no way to easily keep Kiddo safe. Kiddo also had a hard time sleeping. We were all so exhausted at the end of that week, and I swore I’d never go on “vacation” again.

          Good news is that we tried again this year, when Kiddo was 3, and it went much better. He napped and slept more. He was less clumsy, knew the rules about not playing with outlets and trash cans, and had the capacity to learn some new rules and understand that we needed to take care of the condo, or family member would be sad. Not to say he was perfect, but it went much better.

        • We stayed at friends’ for the weekend over Labor Day and I swear I didn’t sit down the whole time. This house had so many staircases and doors that I was in constant motion trying to grab kiddo before he went someplace off limits.

  16. Caveat, I know I need to actually read Ellyn Satter, so I’m going to do that. But I had a question for the Hive –

    When your picky toddler asks for more of their favorite food (CARBS) when there is still plenty of veggie and meat on their plate, what do you do? I don’t want to be limiting his food, and I’m happy he’s communicating he’s needs with words. But I also don’t feel it’s smart to let him eat a giant bowl of ravioli and nothing else. If for no other reason than going hard on the carbs is not great for his digestion.

    • I cheat and I serve said picky toddler vegetables first (if she’s hungry she’s less picky) and then serve carbs last and by then she’s already filled up some. But I also have a carnivore, so sometimes getting her to eat anything other than meat is the battle.

      • anne-on says:

        +1 – I’ve blocked out the period of time when we had to serve veggies as the ONLY after school snack because otherwise there would be gorging on cereal bars and squeeze bars of fruit and then ‘I’m not hungry’ for dinner. We still have a VERY small after school snack though and keep dinner to 5:30 at the latest.

        • Tfor22 says:

          We did this too. Serving vegetables first was one of the best pieces of parenting advice I’ve ever received. (I usually did it while prepping dinner.) Kiddo now has a strong preference for raw vegetables but we can work with that.

          I found it a relief to not consider every morsel that went in my son’s mouth and would figure that his nutritional needs would be met if I kept serving a variety of healthy food all the time. This means I would have let him have the ravioli. I did not stress about carbs.

          Now my boy is a teenager (!!!) who is hungry all the time, which means I have a volume problem on top of making sure I have a variety of healthy food available.

    • anne-on says:

      We follow the no second helpings of anything until all your first helpings are gone (or at least they tried them). I will generally only give our kid 1-3 bites of something I know he doesn’t like/is unsure of (new veggie, a sauce with some spices, gasp!) and then more of the meat/acceptable veggies, with a small serving of bread or crackers. Of course the carbs go first, but we won’t give more until other food is eaten. Some nights kiddo (like me) will happily have extra bread/crackers for dessert after finishing up the rest of dinner.

    • I think is a suggestion I got here, but I make mine eat a little of everything before she has seconds of her favorite, and she has to eat everything before she can have thirds.

    • AwayEmily says:

      I’d say I’m a Satter-lite person and our approach varies depending on how her diet has been over the course of the rest of the day. If she’s eaten plenty of protein and fruit/veg for lunch and breakfast I just let her have at the carbs. If she hasn’t, then I say matter-of-factly “nope, there’s no more bread” and she usually does switch to the other options at that point. Sometimes I offer fruit at that point, too.

      BTW I don’t think bread/pasta/etc is evil or anything but our kid gets easily constipated so we try to be careful about how much she eats.

    • Anonymous says:

      We basically just serve her what she wants. DH and I were both exceptionally picky kids and ate everything as we got older so we figure it’s a temporary thing anyway. Dessert is usually a reward for doing a good job on veggies, but beyond that we don’t withhold anything.

    • Jeffiner says:

      My pediatrician said that toddlers don’t necessarily need all of the food groups at every meal, as long as they get all of the food groups over the course of the day. My daughter has a preference for carbs, but I’ve noticed that sometimes she’ll only eat fruit and turkey bacon for breakfast, peel the cheese off of her sandwich for lunch, and then eat nothing but pasta for dinner. Vegetables are the hardest, so we keep her favorites in heavy rotation – raw bell pepper, cherry tomatoes, sliced beets out of the can, and broccoli dipped in ketchup.

    • We’re not very consistent but go by instinct, recollection of what Kiddo has eaten lately, and what specific food he’s asking for more of. At most, though, we ask Kiddo to try one bite of everything before having seconds of his favorite.

      At meal time, we try to combine simple carbs (if we serve them) with another food–avocado, cheese, or peanut butter on crackers, pita chips with hummus, pasta with meat sauce or meatballs. When we serve, we strongly encourage Kiddo to eat them together, and if he deconstructs the food, we don’t serve more of the carb until he eats the other part. Another solid approach is to just not serve simple carbs for dinner–Kiddo gets lots of crackers and bread at school. If I serve carrots and hummus, meat, green beans, and applesauce for dinner, he’ll eat 2 of the 4 things, but a different 2 things every time. If I serve crackers or chips or pasta, he will eat only that and want more.

      (I feel like I should say, though, that Kiddo had Kraft macaroni and cheese for dinner last night, so variety and quality vary with other factors going on in our life.)

    • Thank you all! These are great and actionable suggestions.

      I really wasn’t worried about it at all until he started having constipation issues, which were very clearly tied to eating lots of pasta/bread. I do already serve veggies/meat first, but he’s knows the carbs are coming so he often tries to hold out. As SC says I can skip the carbs at dinner – he definitely gets enough throughout his other meals.

      • Anonymous says:

        Meat and even some veggies can be constipating too. We’ve given up on our daughter getting enough fiber through solids alone (especially since she takes a multivitamin with iron, which is VERY constipating) so we give her prune juice and that helps a lot.

  17. ifiknew says:

    Week 6 of second baby pregnancy and I am so miserable with all day unrelenting nausea. I felt the same way last time around, but ugh, I am so miserable at the idea of 6 more weeks of this. Really debating getting diclegis. Anyone use it around here? Did it help?

    • Anonymous says:

      Yes. I am 33 weeks and have used it since about week 9. I tried unisom+ vitamin B6 first, but the time release built into diclegis made a huge difference for me. I (like others in my family) have nausea lasting throughout my pregnancy so far, but I feel totally fine when I take diclegis. I was encouraged by others on this board to give diclegis a try and it has been the best decision ever for me!

    • Diclegis was a godsend for me. Tried the unisom + b6, but the unisom would knock me out for 12+ hours at a time (not conducive to my 60+ hour a week job) and it didn’t really help. The time-release of the diclegis was critical. It didn’t stop the nausea, but it did stop 90% of the vomiting and got the nausea to a manageable level (I eventually even kept enough food down to gain 15 pounds – prior to the Diclegis I was not keeping enough food down to even gain weight). As my husband said “I recognize my wife again”. My insurance required me to demonstrate that I had tried non-prescription options first, and even then it was still a battle to get it covered, but I eventually did and it was so worth it. Hang in there!

      –From a mom who puked until the day before she delivered.

    • Anonymous says:

      Yes, it really helped me.

    • Try unisom + b6 right NOW. Seriously, go to the nearest CVS. It can’t hurt, and for me, it worked wonders. If it doesn’t work, call the OB and get some diclegis – because you can honestly say you tried the DIY version already.

      • rosie says:

        Plus my insurance required me to try unisom + b6 before it would cover diclegis. Along those lines, your OB may have samples for you, and if it works, ask them to call in a lot of pills. My copay was the same ($40 I think) whether it was 20 pills or 80. I was on some dose of it from 8w through delivery.

        • Anonymous says:

          Me too! I didn’t figure this out until waaaay too late. My OB for some reason had been calling in 2-week prescriptions, so I was paying $80/month. I asked her to call in a larger amount once we realized the nausea was not going away in the 2nd trimester and I was shocked that a 2 month supply cost the same as a 2-week supply. Ugggh!

        • Yep, this. I didn’t have any relief from the DIY version, but I think they want to hear that you at least gave it a go before you get the miracle that is diclegis.

  18. Just learned my office building has a mold problem and had a mold problem the entire time i was pregnant. Trying not to freak out that my child will have long term health effects from this

  19. Anonymous says:

    When do you ditch purées? My 9 month old has tried finger food and is doing ok but doesn’t get much in her mouth and doesn’t like veggies. But she takes puréed veggies like a champ and I’d love to continue this source of nutrition.

    • When she started refusing them, around 9 months. Up until then we used them to supplement the finger food.

    • Anonymous says:

      My child was hot and cold on purees, but we’d re-introduce them as it was convenient. She went through a big pouch phase maybe around 15-18 months? I used a lot of purees and (sometimes) vegetable pouches as another veggie source at dinner as she got older. I figured it was just another easy way to expose her to more tastes. (Although now that she is nearly 3 and rejects so much that she used to love, I’m pretty wary of all this exposure advice.)

      • AnotherAnon says:

        +1 to this. My LO refused the pouches at 10 months, then at 16 months rediscovered them (on a camping trip) and has been a big fan ever since (now 19 months). DH doesn’t love the pouches but I think they’re better than refusing to eat, and I try to buy the veggie based ones not just applesauce+.

    • We have a 3 yo and a 1 yo and we still haven’t ditched purees for this reason – they both love pouches. However, both of them started refusing to be spoon-fed around 9 months, so we cut out the jarred pureed vegetables around that time.

  20. heart-shaped says:

    Anyone else have a bicornuate uterus? I’m newly pregnant and went in for an u/s at 6 wks where the tech pointed out that I appear to have a bicornuate uterus. This is a real shocker because I have a 1.5 year old and quite an OB history and it was never discovered… My understanding from what the Dr. told me was that this may explain my history of recurrent pregnancy loss (2 early m/c before my 1.5 year old). I had absolutely none of the complications associated with the condition during my last pregnancy (early labor – my babe was almost 2 weeks late with no premature dilation, no growth restriction, I had a completely normal vaginal delivery, etc.).

    This was so surprising that I don’t feel like I asked very good questions at my appointment last week, but now that I’ve been googling (I know, bad idea…) I’m pretty freaked out. I found a stat that says there’s ~60% live birth rate for women with this condition!? And that there’s 4x higher risk of birth defects and an elevated risk of 2nd trimester loss. I think it’s automatically considered a high risk pregnancy… Long story short, I’m pretty terrified. I have another appointment at the end of this week, so I’ll be able to ask more then, but just wondering if anyone’s experienced this and has words of wisdom or suggestions for topics I should discuss with my Dr. Thanks so much.

    • The doctor that confirmed my pregnancy told me I might have a bicornate uterus, and I freaked out after doing the Googling…But at my next ultrasound it was very clear that the doctor was wrong.

      Given that you had a healthy pregnancy that went 2wks late, I’d get a second or even third opinion but I started to freak out. Good luck!

  21. Anonymous says:

    How worried should I be that my 8.5 month old can’t stand at all? We try to stand up her up but her legs just kind of buckle, she wont’ stand upright at all even if we’re holding her torso. She sits without support fine and isn’t at all behind on verbal or fine motor milestones and I was a very late (20 mos) walker myself, so I’m trying not to freak, but it’s getting harder especially as strangers start to notice and comment. I will definitely ask at her 9 month appointment in a few weeks but thought I’d ask here too.

    • Anonymous says:

      Does she have a exersaucer that she can bounce in? Baby Einstein brand had one that my kid loved. It would encourage her to use her legs more.

      Ask at her appointment, but I wouldn’t be concerned at this stage. If you’re still in the same place at 11 months I might be a bit concerned.

    • Ask the ped, but I think that’s on the late end of normal. My 14mo didn’t stand (supported) until 10 mos. He never really liked to hold our hands and stand or walk – he would do the buckle thing too and just sit down. He now stands and walks on his own, no problem.

    • ElisaR says:

      i wouldn’t worry. My son is 10 months old and JUST started standing while leaning on something last week! it did not occur to me to worry about it before it happened.

    • Kelly says:

      My daughter wouldn’t put weight on her legs at 9 months so my ped referred us to early intervention and we ended up doing 3 months of physical therapy and she caught up so fast and walked at 13.5 months which is basically when my son did too. Here are some of the things we did in PT that I think helped:
      – is she in cloth diapers? Mine was and the bulkiness made it hard to get her legs lined up under her hips the right way. We temporarily switched to disposable and the first day she pulled up on her knees which she had never done before. We went back to cloth after a month once she figured it out.
      – use your hands to put pressure on the bottom of her feet to get her used to that feeling
      – put her in a kneeling position over your legs and then encourage her to crawl over them
      – hold out toys so she has to reach for them when she’s on hands and knees
      – put her ina seated position like on your leg with her feet on the floor, then eventually hold up toys so she has to reach for them

      Basically just give her the opportunity to learn how to use the muscles. Our PT thought mine just needed a little encouragement. I’m pretty sure she would have figured it out eventually but it was nice having professional support! It was a great experience.

  22. heart-shaped says:

    Just typed a really long post that apparently got eaten! In any case, anyone else have a bicornuate uterus? I had a 6 wk u/s last week where the tech noticed it. This is a shock because I have a 1.5 yr old and it was never noticed during that pregnancy or my previous 2 early losses. (But I understand it may be part of the reason for those previously unexplained losses.)

    Since my appt, I’ve gone down the google rabbit hole and am super freaked out about everything. A few examples: ~60% live birth rate, increased risk of 2nd tri loss, 4X risk of birth defects, etc., etc. I have another appointment this week where I’ll discuss further with my Doc, but anyone have experience with this? Any words of wisdom or suggested topics of discussion? Thanks so much!

    • Anonymous says:

      Sorry. I don’t have experience with this but I think in general this is a situation where it’s best to get off Google and talk to your doctor. But I’d point out that the risk of birth defects is very, very small, so four times that risk is still incredibly small. (I have a 10x increased risk of thyroid cancer and don’t really think about it on a daily basis because the risk is so small to begin with).

    • Moms Solo says:

      Me! Well I was diagnosed with bicornuate and after a very frustrating process learned it was a septum instead of bicornuate. My understanding is that you can’t tell from internal only pictures (I.e. standard ultrasound) whether it’s bicornuate or a septum. Instead you need a 3D ultrasound to view the entire uterus (so you can see the outside, if that makes sense). Mine was incompatible with carrying a baby at all, so if you already have a successful live birth, I’d just make sure you are being followed by a doctor who knows their stuff re this subject. In my large metropolitan area that was an RE who worked at an IVF clinic, a place I wouldn’t have thought to look. I had mine surgically corrected and now have a toddler and second one on its way.

    • rosie says:

      Agree with getting off Google. Don’t feel bad about asking your dr all the questions you need answered. But if it helps to hear, there was a woman in my new moms group who had this & her LO was healthy!

    • Spirograph says:

      Me! I was diagnosed at my first ultrasound with my first baby. I remember both the ultrasound tech and doctor being very concerned at the time, but I’ve had 3 full-term babies since then. I had more frequent appointments during my first pregnancy so they could monitor it, but subsequent pregnancies had no special treatment.

    • I have a bicornuate uterus. It was not detected until after I had my first miscarriage, about a year after my first baby was born. She was born six weeks early via emergency c-section. My second baby was born at 39 weeks via VBAC. I’m not exactly sure what the effect has been on my pregnancies, to be honest. I did carry both babies more on the right side- I guess that was uterus the babies decided to hang out in. I was definitely monitored more with my second baby than with my first, which was a combination of uterus, age, and premature first baby. But none of my OBs seemed very concerned.

    • Anonymous says:

      I think there are degrees of it. I was told I have a “slightly” bicornuate uterus. I got pregnant quickly and delivered a healthy baby at 40w3d. I’m probably one and done so not much data, sorry. Sadly it’s not uncommon for women, especially older women, to have multiple losses so I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that your two losses are because of the shape of your uterus.

    • Turtle says:

      Me! Me! Me! And pretty severely.

      There 100% are degrees of it. As I understand it, the septum (the “V”) varies in severity/depth, but the V shape is non-blood flowing so if an egg attaches to that part of the uterus, it will result in a miscarriage eventually. Most people don’t find out about it until they have a few miscarriages.

      Personally, I was not getting pregnant at all (later discovered that was due to PCOS) and was working with a reproductive endo. It was discovered during one of the many specialized scans (not an u/s) used in infertility diagnostic work. Within 30 days of discovering it, I had a procedure to repair/reshape my uterus – essentially inserting a tiny pair of scissors and snipping away at it. It was transvaginal so no incision/scarring. It was a day surgery with general anesthesia. I can give you more details about that if you’d like – just let me know. But, the result was that my uterus is now considered 99% “normal” in terms of shape and functionality. The one caveat is that they do not want me to carry twins. In theory, it’d be safe but because the surgery was successful, but if they could prevent that (and they sort of can since I needed an IUI due to the PCOS) they would like to.

      I was allowed to start ‘trying’ again 2 cycles after the procedure and I successfully gois t pregnant within 11 months of the procedure. It would have been sooner if not for the PCOS, but all that to say that it was a successful procedure and I’d 100% do it again.

      Happy to chat offline if that’s helpful. But, talk to your doctor, and if that doctor is not a reproductive endocrinologist I would definitely recommend at least talking to one since they handle this all the time and can help you come to a conclusion efficiently and strategically.

    • heart-shaped says:

      Thanks so much, ladies!! As always, I’m so grateful for this community.

  23. rosie says:

    Vacation ideas w/a 17-month old? We’d like to go somewhere 1 or 2 timezones (max) away from the east coast of the U.S. for about a week. International or domestic. Ideally some combo of relaxing with some toddler-friendly hikes or other activities. Definitely need a suite or similar so we can spread out. Thanks!

    • Anonymous says:

      I’m not sure about hiking with a 17 month old – that sounds kind of challenging. But St. Lucia has some beautiful hiking (the Pitons) and obviously beaches for relaxing. There are a couple of family-friendly resorts there (although the ones I know about are super spendy). What do you want to do besides hiking?

      • rosie says:

        Some historic sites, kid-friendly museums, places for her to play. I was actually looking at the Landing St. Lucia based on looking at Costco vacation packages. Would be interested in your recommendations!

        • Anonymous says:

          Some friends went to Sugar Beach and it looked insanely amazing, but it’s $$$$. But I just stalked The Landings and that looks awesome too! I’ve only gone pre-kid but think St. Lucia is one of the more kid-friendly Caribbean islands because there’s more to do than just beach (Hawaii of course has the most non-beach stuff, but is too far for you).

          • rosie says:

            Whoa Sugar Beach looks amazing. Do you have tips on where in St Lucia to stay? It looks like the Landings is about 90 min from the airport? And yes, would love to go to Hawaii, but I think the time difference & flight length will be pushing our luck if we want to try to have an enjoyable trip.

          • Anonymous says:

            St. Lucia is small enough that where you stay on the island geographically doesn’t really matter. Of course which resort you choose will affect your experience significantly, because you’ll be spending a lot of time there, especially with a toddler who still naps. We went to a Sandals with my parents and it was ok but not great, but we really liked St. Lucia. When I go back I want to do Sugar Beach (if we have kids with us) or Jade Mountain (if we don’t). Those resorts are super close to each other and to the Pitons.

    • Anonymous says:

      Innsbruck, Austria?

      Cute Alpenzoo, lots of great hiking. Kammerlander restaurant on the Inn River has a small kids play area inside. Nice Christmas market in winter time. Not oppressively hot in the summer.

      I’ve stayed at Riedz Apartments and been very pleased.

    • Anonymous says:

      I’d go to/near Asheville. There are lots of scenic drives. There are several easy, short hikes, and there’s lots of information on the internet about hikes with toddlers in that area. You can relax at breweries or coffee shops.

      But also, with a 17-month-old, any destination will be more of a “trip” and less of a vacation.

      • rosie says:

        Thanks–resort rec or airbnb it? And our expectations are definitely low. We’d just like to get away from home for a while and have some family time.

        • The Omni Grove Park Inn was lovely — and the spa was amazing. We didn’t get a suite because it was already pretty pricey, but we did get a large room which worked for us with an almost 3 year old (so up a little later, not necessarily napping everyday).

        • Anonymous says:

          With small children, I think a hotel suite with a kitchenette or Airbnb works best. I don’t have specific Asheville hotel recs though.

  24. My good friend had heart-shaped uterus (not discovered until unplanned c-section) and had two very healthy boys. Good luck!

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