Maternity Monday: Essential Maternity Blazer
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Sales of note for 2/7:
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
- Ann Taylor – Extra 25% off your $175+ purchase — and $30 of full-price pants and denim
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 15% off
- Boden – 15% off new season styles
- Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
- J.Crew – Extra 50% off all sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything including new arrivals + extra 20% off $125+
- Rothy’s – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off one item + free shipping on $150+
And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Suggestions for party-in-the-park menu that is NOT hot?
We are having a party for a 2yearold, small, probably less than 2 dozen people. I thought about hot dogs but husband does not want to grill on the charcoal grills at the park. We *could* bring already-heated hot dogs from home, I guess? Any other ideas?
Will probably do veggie trays, watermelon, cake, and….? What can be served picnic-style after 30 minutes of playing that won’t cause food poisoning?
I’ve realized lately that I’ve become an isolated and lonely mom. My closest friends, the ones I really connect with and can be honest with, aren’t in my life on a daily basis anymore. They live across town, our kids aren’t in the same schools or activities, we’re all busy with our own family stuff, etc. We meet up once a month or so, but we spend most of our time together just catching up, not talking about anything deeper.
Working full time means I’m essentially cut out of the parent community at our neighborhood school. I’m not mingling around the school during dropoff/pickup. I miss most of the mid-day events. (There are so many because of our principal’s idea of “community building.” I want to tell him that he’s created two separate classes of families, but I suspect speaking up would label me as That Parent.)
Even with other working parents, it’s not much better. My son attends the before/aftercare program at his school, but the working parents barely acknowledge each other — probably because we’re all pressed for time. Meanwhile, my neighbors who are SAHMs are regularly posting Facebook photos from their meetups with the other moms at our school and I feel like such a loser. I don’t need best friends at my kiddo’s school, but it would be nice to have another parent to compare notes with. Kiddo is social and involved in a few activities but doesn’t have a true best friend.
I can see that I’ve contributed to the problem. Being an introvert, I don’t have much social energy/bandwidth at the end of the day. And I haven’t done the PTO because a) Fundraising is its main purpose for existing and that doesn’t interest me in the slightest; b) I also have a toddler and that means spending limited free time away from her; and c) I cannot handle another freaking meeting in my life. I’ve volunteered for one-off events, including being a field trip chaperone, and feel like a total outsider every time. I’m friendly, I try to engage in pleasant chit-chat — and yet it goes nowhere. I don’t think this would bother me if I saw my real friends more, but the combination of not seeing them + feeling like an outsider in our neighborhood school = feeling really lonely. Seriously, I haven’t felt this alone in years.
Maybe I’m expecting too much. My responsibilities at work and at home keep increasing, so it probably shouldn’t be a big shock that I’m paying the price in other ways.
Booster seat issue — I recently moved my toddler from a car seat to a booster seat. When she falls asleep in the booster, she flops over, bent at awkward angles. It looks neither comfortable nor safe. She did this last night on the way home from visiting my parents (about an hour drive) — first I gave her a neck pillow, which did absolutely nothing, then I wound up sitting in the back next to her so she could lay her head against my shoulder. Any tips or products that could help keep her upright (or at minimum support her neck and head) when she sleeps in the car? I would love to get her back into a 5-point harness seat, but she is too big, and besides, now that she’s had a taste of the big-girl booster seat, no way she is going back to the type of car seat her baby brother uses.
Backstory: before my husband and I met, he got two loveable but terribly behaved rescue dogs and never really trained them. They are both very sweet but bark up a storm at every little sound and the younger one, a beagle mix, has severe anxiety and barks his head off at every new person who enters the house. He can keep this up for hours. Plus he’s got terrible eyesight (he’s 9) so he doesn’t recognize ppl he knows until they’re right near him.
Enter baby…5 months old, not a super heavy sleeper. The beagle has woken her up from so, so many naps when he barks at sounds outside, someone coming into the house, hearing a door slam, etc. It’s horrible. I resent the dog so much and get no joy at all from him–before the baby was born I adored him, but I just can’t with him. And the more I’m annoyed at him the less I want to give him attention, which makes his behavior worse. But it’s gotten so bad that I hesitate to have people over once the baby’s in bed (which is at 7p) because I worry that he’s going to randomly start barking at them and wake her up.
I just feel so stuck. We can’t get rid of him (husband has had him for 8 years) and he’s probably going to live another 6 years–and it’s only going to get worse as his eyesight deteriorates. He’s good w the baby so no worries there, but I feel like he majorly restricts our social life (we can’t really have people over, can’t chat w neighbors because he howls when he hears voices outside) and our baby’s sleep. I hate that an annoying animal is running (ruining?) our life. My husband is also frustrated but his attitude is, what can we do? The dog is essentially untrainable. It took a trainer nearly two hours to teach him how to lay down.
Advice/commiseration?
Tips for getting a kid to calm down and keep his hands to himself?
My 4 year old is getting violent. Not in a mean way, and in fact usually because he’s just so excited and showing affection in a totally inappropriate way. Example: daycare pickup. Kid jumps up from whatever he’s doing, yell’s “MOMMMMMYYYYY!!!!” and runs at me with a giant grin, but instead of giving my legs a big hug, he starts punching them (usually with sound effects). I think this is an impulse control and knowing your own strength thing for him, but no amount of “Ow, that hurts, no hitting!” or “That’s not how we greet people, we do xyz” seems to help. Obviously I can physically withstand it, but he occasionally does a variation to other kids, and I definitely want to nip that in the bud.
Does anyone have good suggestions for a chair and half- so not really a love seat but almost as big- for a nursery that can accommodate 2 kids plus me or dad?
So much mom guilt today. I decided to skip work and go to toddler music class with nanny and toddler this morning (slow at the office). Apparently she was an entirely different (happier) kid with me there.
I have no issues with our nanny, we really like her. But it made me sad that she really came out of her shell with me there and I usually can’t make it!
My life is pretty great. But I find myself complaining a lot and just being kind of irritable more than seems reasonable to me. I’m generally happy and don’t think this is necessarily a mental health issue, so much as a rut. It’s just hard to be a full time working parent in the toddler trenches. Still, I would like to work on being more positive and cheerful. Any thoughts or suggestions? Books to read?
Venting – Mondays are terrible. Mangled my car mirror on the garage this morning (likely going to need to be replaced and oh! we’re heading out of town this weekend for a trip I’m really looking forward to), had my 25 week ultrasound and turns out the baby is skipping heartbeats so we need to figure that out, work is going nuts and I’m fresh back in the office after a week working remotely while helping my mother recover from surgery for her ovarian cancer. Doctor says no caffeine of any kind, or chocolate, or any lotion that has cocoa butter in it for a week and then we check the heartbeat again…. I hope it’s that simple. I want to quit Mondays.
Is there a way for me to bathe my 3 year old and 4 month old in the bathtub at the same time? Right now I’m using the Boon bathtub for the baby, but it takes up practically the whole bathtub. Is there a smaller containment device that I can use so that toddler and baby can fit in the bath together and I don’t have to hold the baby the whole time? I was planning to get one of those ring devices but it looks like they are no longer sold. Any other ideas?
I got a lot of mileage out of a maternity blazer I bought. It was knit and tailored to be open, not buttoned, so it looked more intentional than just wearing a regular blazer open. I actually still wear it.
I definitely don’t see the point to a maternity blazer. I don’t button my blazers anyway, so wearing my normal ones is no issue.
Random vent… what is it with guys and calling pregnant women “mama” ? From male coworkers to a construction guy on the street this morning, they love to say stuff like “Hey mama, looking good!” which is just beyond creepy to me.
Another one that’s getting old (I know from reading here it only gets worse) is the “So, any day now huh?” comments. I am 6.5 months pregnant. I have gained like, 15 pounds. Simmer down. I am not even close to bursting yet.
I am 12 weeks tomorrow with my second pregnancy and I’m easily at the same bump-stage I was at when I was 16-18 weeks with #1. And I’m trying to not tell people for a few more weeks, so this is getting tough.
Anyone have any insight into whether my bump will stabilize at some point, or will I just be much bigger this time around?
This may sound like a petty complaint, but it’s been getting under my skin lately and as a result I’ve been much grumpier than I prefer. Any advice would be appreciated.
My husband is great with our 3 and 1 yos. They love him and he loves them. He does a ton around the house, including all of the cooking. The problem is that he can’t seem to watch them and do anything else at the same time. For instance, if he changes the baby’s diaper he leaves the dirty diaper and changing stuff on the floor. If he feeds them, he leaves the empty cans, boxes and jars on the counter, dirty plates and spoons on the table, leaking sipping cups on the floor, and piles of food on the high chair tray. If someone needs to change, dirty clothes are just tossed anywhere. If they come in from outside, shoes and coats are just tossed whereever.
If we’re all together I end up following him around cleaning up. I can’t just leave the dirty diaper sitting there or the leaking cup. If I ask him to get them, he grumbles that he’s busy with the kids and implies that I’m a nag.
If I leave him with the kids, the house ends up a total disaster in a matter of an hour. I come home to gross everything. Every surface in the house will be covered with crap. And he just acts all proud that he’s taken care of two kids by himself. I’m always glad the kids are happy, but I really wish that basic tidying after each activity was part of the routine. I make my 3 yo hang up her coat, put her shoes in the bin by the door and take her empty bowl to the sink. It’s part of parenting. It doesn’t really detract from the fun, but my husband is 100% resistant to this approach. He says he’ll clean up later. And he does do some of it later (usually the kitchen) but we’re still left with toy rubble, lost shoes and strewn dirty clothes. I don’t know how to break this pattern. I’m sick of being the maid and my dh doesn’t seem to get it. Any advice would be wonderful.
Any tips on teaching a 2.5yo not to scream (for fun)? I’ve read (parts of …) No Drama Discipline and No Bad Kids, and I like their general approach. One issue that thy don’t address, though, is yelling. My son thinks it’s super fun to yell or scream, apparently to hear his own noise or just to annoy us, not sure which. With other behaviors, we would prevent him from doing them (Bang your sippie cup? No more cup. Ram the dog with your bicycle? Bike goes away for a while.) but that doesn’t work with yelling. We’ve tried reasoning (too loud / that hurts my ears / the baby is sleeping) and it has limited or no effect. Last night when he wouldn’t stop screaming we finally told him if he didn’t stop, there would be no books at bedtime. He screamed again, so no books. But he clearly didn’t understand the connection between the two (screaming/books) or even understand why the screaming was “wrong.”
I’m especially frustrated by this since he seems to think it’s especially fun to yell and wake up his baby sister, so we haven’t been able to put them in the same room together as planned. We try to tell him he needs to be quiet so baby can sleep / don’t wake up baby, but that just makes it a fun game. Help please.