An easy pull-on skirt you can wear for work, weekend, and everything in between?
This maternity maxi skirt from 24Seven Comfort is made from a soft jersey fabric with an elastic waistband that accommodates your changing body. It’s available in seven go-with-anything colors, so you can wear it nearly every day.
For the office, just add a classic shell and jacket. For the weekend, pull out your favorite tee and sneakers.
This skirt is on sale for $59.19 (marked down from $73.99) at Kohl’s.
This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Sales of Note…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – 2,100+ new markdowns!
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off all sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything; extra 30% off orders $100+
- Eloquii – $39 select styles; 50% off select styles
- J.Crew – 25-50% off wear-now styles; extra 50% off select sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything; 50% off women’s dresses; extra 60% off clearance
- Loft – 60% off sale styles
- Lands’ End – Up to 40% off your order
- Talbots – Semi-Annual Red Door Sale: Extra 50% off markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ sale items (for women)! Check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kid shoe brands on sale.
Kid/Family Sales
- J.Crew – 25-40% off kids’ styles; extra 50% off select sale
- Lands’ End – Up to 40% off your order
- Hanna Andersson – 30% off all kids’ & baby clothing; PJs on sale from $25; up to 75% off clearance
- Carter’s – Rule the School Sale: Up to 50% off; up to 40% off baby essentials
- Old Navy – 50% off back-to-school styles; 30% off your order, even clearance
- Target – Backpacks from $7.99; toddler & kids’ uniforms on sale from $5
- Pottery Barn Baby – Summer sale: up to 50% off
- Nordstrom – Limited time sales on brands like Maxi-Cosi and Bugaboo.
- Strolleria – Free infant seat car adapter with any Thule stroller; 30% off all Peg-Perego gear in our exclusive Incanto Collection
Boston Legal Eagle says
There was a somewhat hotly debated topic in my town’s parents FB group recently – a topic we’ve talked about here too (and I’m sure has been debated since red shirting became a thing). The parent was asking whether it was ok to hold back their summer birthday boy from K not for any developmental/academic reason, but just to give him a “leg up.” There are of course cases where it makes sense to wait another year if your close to cutoff kiddo is clearly not ready, but IMO, that should be the exception and not the rule. But some parents felt that holding back just for the sake of holding back and having them (mostly boys) be the oldest was good. But if we’re not following school cutoff dates, then where does it end? And what about the kids who aren’t held back and who are then compared to kids a year or even more older? I guess in my mind, this is cheating, but maybe I feel more strongly because I have an April kid who suddenly becomes the youngest… (although I haven’t found this to be the case in his particular grade at his school yet). And I think there have been studies showing that being on the older side makes school a bit easier, but someone necessarily has to be the youngest, right?!
Anonymous says
It’s cheating, but it also does the child a disservice because he won’t be receiving developmentally appropriate instruction. A kid who is 6 years old before he even starts kindergarten will be bored to tears in a classroom where, in some places, he’ll be expected to nap and not to be able to read or write. This leads to behavior problems and a negative attitude towards school that is difficult to overcome. And think of the other end. Do you really want to imprison an 18-year-old young adult in a high school for his entire senior year?
Anon says
Well, kids are normally 18 for some or all of senior year (in my district the cutoff is 8/1 and school starts about a week later, so you can turn 18 before senior year begins with no red-shirting) and many 6 year olds don’t know how to read and write. But I see what you’re saying, even if I don’t agree with the specific examples.
anon says
If I’d redshirted my kid, she would have started K at 5 yo instead of as a 4 yo. Because she went ‘on time’ she’ll start senior year as a 16 yo, turning 17 that fall.
Anon says
Sure, it depends on the district, but it’s not weird to turn 18 early into your senior year. In some places you have no choice if you’re a late summer or early fall birthday.
Well says
My August birthday kiddo will be 6 for all of kindergarten. No option to start at 5 even if we wanted to. The cutoff is July.
Anon says
Same, my daughter has a good friend who was born on August 3, two days after our local cutoff and before school starts, so will be 6 at the start of K and 18 before senior year. No option to start early. She’s very mature and very smart and I think is going to be quite bored in K (she’s already reading, which most K-ers here are not). I understand the argument that letting kids start early widens the age gap further, but if I were this kid’s parents, I’d be pretty ticked off.
anon says
Maybe its just our area, but kindergarteners absolutely do not get naps here. They’re also expected to read and write at the start of K. Language arts is generally a 2.5 hour block in the morning, where kids are expected to sit and work quietly nearly that whole time. There’s usually 40 minutes each morning for independent reading where kids are asked to sit and read to themselves. Then math is another 1 hour block in the afternoon where kids are expected to work independently or in small groups with minimal guidance. It looks nothing like kindergarten did when I was a kid–perhaps more like 2nd grade used to. I really don’t think it’s developmentally appropriate for most new 5 yos. The kids who really thrived were those who were old for their grade (here, redshirted late summer or on time fall birthdays).
Anon says
Our K does naps and my daughter has not napped since she was 2. That said, given how early she gave up naps, I don’t think this would be a big factor for red-shirting – whether she’s 5 or 6 when she starts K, there’s zero chance of her napping at school. And I think it’s an unpopular opinion here, but I actually don’t mind a school rest time as long as she has some access to books. I think having to quietly entertain herself for an hour has value and has increased her ability to play by herself at home. What seems barbaric to me is not giving non-nappers any books or entertainment, but thankfully none of our schools did that.
Huh? says
How is it cheating if the rules allow it? It’s not like they’re forging a birth certificate.
mean 7 year olds says
not sure it’s cheating, but the huge boys who are bored, bullies, and disrupting the class have become the newest bee in my bonnet this year. my kid was in kindergarten with at least 3 boys who were more than a year older. Do they spend that extra year just learning to be bullies since they already learned the pre-k curriculum for a full year? or are they just modeling the same attitudes and beliefs displayed by their parents. perhaps this is just an isolated case and I’m just salty. Why not start them and if it’s a flop do it again?
Anonymous says
This.
Anon says
My daughter was in TK at our small public school this year and did a lot of joint activities with the K kids. The Kinder grade above her has A LOT of red-shirted boys and is already known for being a “difficult” grade with lots of behavioral issues.
Anon says
As a counterpoint, the red-shirted summer birthdays (mostly boys) in my daughter’s pre-K class were lovely kids, just a bit more high-energy than average but very sweet and not mean or physically aggressive. My daughter falls very much in the same high-energy, kind of rowdy category and I feel like that behavior is even less tolerated in girls than boys, but fortunately with a winter birthday it wasn’t a choice we had to make. I honestly don’t know what we would have done if she’d been born in June or July.
Anon says
Right, I agree with you. I guess I feel like it makes sense for birthdays within a few months of the cutoff if the child seems emotionally immature or academically unprepared, but I wouldn’t hold them back “just because” and I’d have very serious reservations about holding a kid who was born more than 3 months before the cutoff or red-shirting a kid who’s academically advanced. I know March/April kids who are red-shirted and that just seems inappropriate to me in all but one instance (a kid with epilepsy who has had multiple brain surgeries and missed a lot of preschool).
Fwiw it was 30+ years ago now, but my preschool teachers told my parents to redshirt me despite me not being very close to the cutoff (early May birthday in Sept 1 district) because I was highly sensitive and anxious. I think there’s more awareness today of how to work with kids like that, but in the 80s I was just “weird.” My parents ignored them and I think they made the right decision. I was already well ahead of peers academically and likely would have had to skip a grade in mid-late elementary if I’d been held back, which I think probably would have been harder socially? I was completely fine in kindergarten – I wasn’t the class queen bee or anything, but I didn’t have any of the social-emotional issues I’d had in preschool.
Anonymous says
I just refuse to get worked up about this. There’s nothing I can do about how other people choose to parent and I don’t truly know their kids. I was one of the youngest and I can see it both ways. Academically I could have gone a grade higher. Socially I was behind especially starting in middle school. I think my parents made the right call but it wouldn’t have been cheating or unreasonable for them to have held me back or pushed me forward.
Anon says
This is where I’m at too.
I also think we have very unreasonable expectations for 5-6 year old behavior, which has contributed to the red-shirting epidemic. One of my daughter’s best friends is almost a year older than her and turned 6 in May of their pre-K year. I know the parents and it wasn’t a decision they made lightly – for one thing because another year in our bougie daycare was WAY more expensive than public school! – and it seems like it was strongly suggested by both the daycare teachers and a public school teacher that evaluated him that he wasn’t behaviorally ready for K because he had some problems sitting and following directions. Personally I think his behavior is within the realm of normal, but we seem to expect too much of young kids in terms of sitting still and being quiet. I wish we could just let kids be kids!
anon says
My kid has a November birthday, and our state has a July 31 cutoff date. So he was on the older end of his class, and he STILL had lots of trouble sitting in circle time and staying in line (literally) the way his K-2 teachers wanted him to.
GCA says
Yeah, agree. And parents can visit the school all they like but what it really comes down to is the teacher’s expectations for appropriate behavior in that K/ 1st/ 2nd grade classroom. A friend’s kindergartner (high-energy, boy, middle of age range and academic ability for his year) just had a really rough year because of what sounded like utterly unreasonable behavior expectations.
Anonymous says
I had not previously associated unrealistic behavior expectations with red-shirting, but I think you’re right. I have all boys and I really don’t know how best to handle this. They’re solidly middle of the pack WRT birthdays. My oldest is fine behavior-wise (people pleaser) but my middle will probably need some support.
Anonymous says
+1
anon says
I think it’s inappropriate. I have a friend with a daughter whose birthday is September 3 in a district with a September 1 cutoff. She’s ready for kindergarten but public school won’t let her start because she missed the cutoff by the day. My friend is prettty peeved that there’s so much flexibility for the other way around, but absolutely zero if your kid misses the cutoff even by a day or two. She’ll put her daughter in private kindergarten so she won’t be bored to tears in pre-k, but she’s still peeved.
At some point so many kids will be redshirted that the summer kids will no longer be the oldest so what’s the point? It’s a slippery slope
anon says
I agree that it makes no sense to fudge it one way but not the other.
Redshirting seems to have gotten out of control in some areas. The cutoff is there for a reason, and unless there’s an extenuating reason, I think parents should follow it. But in a culture where everyone is obsessed with their kids getting ahead, that is unlikely to happen. Somebody has to be the youngest!
anon says
I disagree. I think the class already skews older with redshirted kids. Allowing even younger kids in the class just widens the age gap even more.
Your friend should know that the kindergarten standard in her area is really intended for kids a year older, hence the age cut off. With redshirting her daughter won’t even be close to the oldest in the class if she goes ‘on time.’ No need to get worked up about this.
Anon says
+1
anon says
Her daughter is ready, academically and socially, for kindergarten. Why should she have to do another year of pre-K?
My birthday is September 28 and I was the youngest in a district with an October 1 cutoff. Worked out just fine for me and I would have been miserable if I’d been a year behind. I developed early and I can’t imagine how embarrassed I would have been as a third grader needing a br@!
Anon says
She may be ready for K as you remember it, but it’s totally possible for K to be far more academic and with more advanced expectations. She may not be ready for that.
My kindergartner was given a sheet of paper and pencil and asked to write a personal narrative telling the teacher about herself the first week of school. No joke. That was the expectation, and nearly all kids could do it.
Anon says
Wow, I feel like my 5.5 year old kid who is starting K next month would just draw a picture if asked to do that. She can’t write anything except her name. Fortunately reading and writing is not an expectation in our district.
Anonymous says
The solution to this problem is to ban redshirting.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Anon 10:34 – that has not been our expectation for K at all, luckily! That’s crazy. Most kids in K can’t read or write beyond their names on their own, as they shouldn’t! What state are you in? This is probably one of the many problems of not having a standardized national curriculum.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Agree, it seems like there is no leeway the other way, at least for K? Frankly, my October second kid is probably ready for K now but will have to wait another year.
Anonymous says
I have an October bday kid who was ready and had to wait. Now she’s a 5th grader and it was the best thing for her. She’s at the top of her class and am much more confident than she’d be as the youngest.
Anonymous says
Isn’t she bored, though? My kid is the youngest in her class, is still at the top of her class, and was bored until she got to high school and had access to accelerated coursework. In districts like ours where there is no tracking and no meaningful gifted education, the standard curriculum (which has been dumbed down substantially from when I was a kid–they are teaching math in fifth grade that I learned in second grade in a Title 1 urban school) is so inadequate that most kids who are beyond a remedial level are going to be bored. They also aren’t going to learn how to work hard, grapple with difficult concepts, and study, which means they will be at a huge disadvantage when they get to AP coursework or college.
anon says
I’m a different poster, but advanced kids start pre-algebra in 6th, so 5th grade math is packed with what used to be covered in 6-8th grade. Then intensified algebra in 7th, intensified geometry in 8th, honors algebra II/trig in 9th, honors pre-calc in 10th, calc BC in 11th, and diff eq/linear algebra in 12th. Not boring.
Anon says
There are likely going to be some exceptionally gifted kids who are bored no matter what, but 90th percentile kids should not be bored if the school is doing a good job.
Anonymous says
Re: is she bored. No. She’s in a school with good teachers who challenge the kids who need challenging. Fwiw her academics had little to do with her age. She is a “fast finisher” who sees the match coach for challenge work. So is one of the youngest kids in her class. The school does a nice job because the match coach is there for kids that need tutoring as well as those that need challenges.
For reading, she gets pushed to read texts at an appropriate level. Her teachers have always talked about how they push the kids that can be pushed and I’m really happy with it.
Anonymous says
The fact that they’re strict about moving kids up is really interesting to me. Also in a district with a 9/1 cutoff, but they’re very flexible with kids born in September. My kid actually has a 9/1 birthday, and she has a buddy in the neighborhood with a 9/3 birthday, and it’ll be interesting to see what both families end up deciding in a couple years.
Anonymous says
The town I grew up in was very flexible if you were born 30 days in either direction of the cutoff, and otherwise really strict. It’s still the same today – I checked with some friends who live there now and have kids.
SC says
I also have a kid with a late April birthday. When he was 3-4 years old, I didn’t realize why the other kids in his daycare class could do so much more than he could, both physically and academically. Then in early April, we started getting invited to birthday parties for kids turning 5! Oh! The cutoff for the school was August 1, but there were kids red-shirting daycare, so they were over a year older than my son.
The thing is, my son is neurodivergent and struggles in a school environment, and we’ve been all over the map on which class he fits in with best. He repeated that 3–4-year daycare class when he was 4-5 because the (private) school deemed him “not ready” for pre-K. He was never “ready” for that school, and the next year, he went to a school for kids with special needs. They didn’t have a pre-K class, but they taught to each child’s abilities, so we just bumped him up to K, at which point he was back with his class year. K and 1st grade went great, and he was on track with peers academically. Last year, he had a new class and new teacher for 2nd grade, and it was a disaster. He learned very little, his skills regressed, and DH ended up homeschooling him for safety reasons for a couple of weeks in spring and again for the last 5 weeks of school. Kiddo is going to a mainstream private school next year but is repeating 2nd grade to build up some skills where he’s weak (written expression) and gain confidence in other where he’s naturally stronger.
FP says
I have strong feelings about this and could talk for years about it. I have two boys with late summer birthdays and we sent them ahead and did not redshirt in an area (southern city) where redshirting anytime after basically March is the norm. My sons are academically advanced but struggle in sports, because so many kids are 18+ months older than them. We have to seek out club teams that run on birth date like Little League, instead of participating in school sports, and they thrive in clubs where they are with kids their own age but in the grade below. It drives me insane that schools won’t hold a tougher line on this. Imagine turning 19 during high school! Again, I don’t disagree if a child needs it, but to hold back purely so your kid can be older/bigger is ridiculous.
Anonymous says
I also think it’s hugely a problem of toxic masculinity. We have to stop pretending a big factor isn’t wanting boys to be bigger.
anon says
Oh, I completely agree.
Anon says
+1 – I have a beloved nephew who would be a rising sophomore this fall. He took his own life earlier this year. We will never have an answer why. However, I will say the fact that he was constantly lamenting his size (not as big/tall as other boys), and how his friends made fun of the fact that he was smaller, probably was a contributor to self-esteem/mental health. I have two sons and plan to do what I can to not let this be a thing, at least in our home.
anon says
This is chilling. My middle school boy is on the small side for his age and other kids rag on him about it constantly. I have tried to combat this as best as I can but I know it affects his self esteem. I’m sorry for your loss, anon.
Anon says
Thank you so much. He was a very special soul, and had a lot of love in his life.
They lived in a small/rural-ish town. I wonder if they lived in the college town or mid-sized city nearby if his experience would be any different (a stupid thing to think about, but human nature – again we will never know “why”) with just a bigger mix of kids and interests. Maybe not. Maybe tweens/young teens are just harsh and the years are tough no matter what.
Big hugs to your perfect son.
SC says
This is chilling. My 8 year old started growth hormone earlier this year. We try so hard to focus on how it’s helping him. He has more energy and endurance for playing and other activities. His legs are stronger. His appetite has increased, which increases the foods he’s willing to try and helps maintain his energy during the day and may help his GI motility and help him wean off Miralax. And still, I worry that he’ll receive the message that he’s taking the medication because he wasn’t tall enough. Height is the main criteria for getting it (and having insurance pay for it), and it’s the main criteria for judging whether it’s working, so it’s an inevitable part of the discussion. His growth curve was never higher than 50%, and he dropped down to about 7% before taking the medication, so his max height likely will be below average.
Boston Legal Eagle says
19 year old boys who will be in hs with just turned 14 year old girls too…
Anonymous says
As the parent of a girl who started high school at 13 going on 14, in a school that puts advanced freshmen in the same classes with seniors who are behind, I had a huge problem with this.
Vicky Austin says
Shudder. I was in geometry with a few seniors as a freshman myself and I never thought about this.
Fortunately one of them decided to tell me his (negative) opinion of my dad, who taught in the same building, and I gave him such a death glare neither he nor his buddies bothered me again. I can see the reverse situation being extremely dangerous.
Anon says
But hasn’t this always been the case? Boys have historically repeated grades at a higher rate than girls back when it was a much more common practice. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, just that it’s a thing that has been prominent for years, it isn’t new, and it’s not always a result of redshirting. Heck, if a boy is born just after the cut off date and then repeats a grade, he’d be almost 20 at graduation.
Anonymous says
+1 also if the district has an August or September cutoff even some non-redshirted kids will be 18.75 by the time they graduate. I don’t see much difference between 18.75 and 19.25. If you want to go by calendar age, 16 (driving), 18 (legal adulthood) and 21 (legal drinking) seem like much brighter lines to me than 19.
anon says
It’s only cheating if you view your kids’ classmates as their competitors. Not a great life view.
Another way to look at is that most parents who hold a kid back do it because they don’t think their kid is ready for kindergarten. You don’t want a kid who isn’t ready in class with your kid–they’ll be a huge distraction and disruption.
We didn’t hold our 4 yo back from starting K ‘on time’ and she was sent to the principal’s office nearly every day for the first 6 weeks of K. She was a major classroom disruption well into 2nd grade. She also cried every single day about how much she hated school and didn’t want to go. She was miserable and anxious. She’s academically advanced so we held the course and worked through the issues, but the other kids in her kindergarten and 1st grade class absolutely would have benefited from her being redshirted, as she took up a disproportionate amount of the teacher’s attention every. single. day. She doesn’t have any diagnosable issues, but she was born just days before the cutoff and is immature for her age. We’re now in a mostly good place going into 5th, but middle school is going to be….interesting…. She’s 10th percentile in size and the youngest in her grade, making her the smallest in her grade by far. (Think a 5th grader in size 8 jeans and kids size 13 shoes.) She’d be below average in size even if she was a grade below. She’s also a kid who is likely to hit puberty at 13 or 14 (9th grade for her), while she had other kids in her 4th grade class grade already start their periods last year. She’s been struggling with understanding mean girl behavior at school, while playing dolls and pretend at home. She’ll also start college at 17 and I have no idea if she’ll be mature enough to handle that. In retrospect, we probably should have redshirted.
If your kid was happy in K and fits in with their class, then you don’t need to worry about redshirting. Your kid is in the right grade.
anon says
Agreed so strongly with your first two sentences. Not a great life view, and not a great perspective to pass on to your own children. How would your views on this be different if you thought about those parents as “people who are trying to make the best decisions for their individual children” rather than “people who are trying to seek an unfair advantage over my child”?
(And what does “cheating” even mean in this context? The ages at which kids start more formal school instruction are purely artificial anyway…)
Boston Legal Eagle says
Right, but the parent in this particular thread said she was doing it solely to give him a leg up.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Sorry, *considering* doing this. And then the debate started.
anon says
Parents typically don’t advertise their kids’ weaknesses. You have no idea what concerns they may have. It’s so much easier just to say it’s for sports than to admit that your kid may have ‘issues.’
Anon says
It may be good for individual kids but it’s bad for the school community when kids are nearly two years apart in the same grade-developmental spread is just too much to have the kind of community and common experience that school should be about. I also am not a fan of having 14 year old freshmen girls and 19 year old senior boys in the same school.
anon says
This this this. Let’s stop pretending there isn’t a trickle-down effect, here.
FP says
Exactly this. This may seem harsh but part of the reason kids who are the youngest struggle is because they are held to a standard that can be two years beyond where they are. If schools would just hold strong and maintain a 12 month calendar for grades, this would not be such an obvious issue. My son with a July birthday had the next closest in age to him in his class of 12 kids – in December! Because every kid with a spring birthday was redshirted. Completely insane.
Anon says
With respect to your last sentence, I think this is not really a red-shirting issue. 14 and 18 isn’t much different than 14 and 19, and kids who are academically advanced usually get exposed to much older kids even earlier. I was a 15 year old girl taking college math classes with 22+ year old men! I think leaving home and living independently as a college student is a much bigger marker for adulthood than being 18 vs 19. Our public school also combines grades 7-12 in one building, so even with zero red-shirting you’d have barely 12 year old girls with almost 19 year boys in the same building.
Anonymous says
WRT your last sentence, that is terrible. WRT college, I experienced plenty of harassment in high school classrooms but none in college classrooms. (There were, of course, plenty of issues elsewhere on and around campus, just not in classrooms themselves, which is where a high school student taking college courses would be.) I suppose lab courses might be different, but in general college classrooms are not the unruly Lord of the Flies environment that high school classrooms are.
Anon says
I guess everyone has different experiences, but I didn’t really experience much difference between high school vs college classes taken while a high school student. I probably got ignored a bit more by the college students, but no one was harassing me in high school. I was very shy and awkward and kept to myself in both environments, except when forced to collaborate with classmates on things like labs. But I can definitely see how a comely, flirty 16 year old who developed early would get plenty of attention from college guys. College guys aren’t known for caring about whether or not girls are 18.
Anon says
How much harassment is happening in high schools? This was not at all my experience in high school, and I turned 14 less than 2 weeks before I started my freshman year.
Anon says
Re: 7-12 in one building, I’ve actually heard mostly positive things about it, although don’t have personal experience yet. It would have been a huge blessing for me as a very accelerated kid who needed high school courses in middle school, but whether or not my kid is in the same bucket is TBD.
OOO says
My SIL is a teacher and saw that the boys who were young for their grade tended to have behavior problems in class. So she redshirted her September-birthday son. He is now 12 and gets fairly good grades but has been in detention and suspension due to acting out in class, possibly due to not being challenged academically. Age seems to be just one of many factors on how well your child will do in school.
Anon says
A September birthday? She she redshirted so her kid wouldn’t start K as a 4 yo? That hardly seems to be a cause. He started K at 5 yo and turned 6 in September. He’ll start college as an 18 yo–totally normal.
Anon says
Yeah, imo it matters when the cutoff is. Kids starting K at 4 is pretty unimaginable to me, as a mom to a 5.5 year old who goes to K next month and only juuuust feels ready.
Anon says
Am I the only person whose district cutoff is Dec 1?
I grew up in a state where everyone’s cutoff was Sept 1 or so and it’s weird to me that our cutoff is after the academic calendar starts.
Anon says
I think there has been a push to move cutoffs up, as there is evidence most children aren’t really ready to start K at 4. I agree the cutoff matters and I’d be much more likely to redshirt a September birthday with a December cutoff than a June birthday with a September cutoff.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I agree that when the cutoff is matters a lot – Sept. 1 makes perfect sense to me, as it’s right when school starts so in theory all kids are 5 when they start (and the behavior expectations are for 5 year olds, not 6+ year olds, or 4 year olds). NY has Dec. 31, which seems way too late, but if people follow it, then expectations should be relative. All of this red shirting is seeming to make the cutoffs in some areas more like March 1!
Anon says
Agree– my home state had a Dec. 1 cutoff. I was an October birthday so among the younger; started K at 4 and senior year at 16, college at 17 (difficult to move away to a new state as a “minor” for a month and need own bank account, etc.!). Even so I was academically advanced and was offered the chance to skip 2nd grade, which would have made me (IMO) freakishly young from a social perspective, so my parents shifted me to a private school for a few grades.
My kids now are winter birthdays and girls, so there is no question they will go with the expected class year as our district cutoff is Sept. 1 and I’m glad I don’t have to deal with these questions. I agree it would be societally best to just have 12-month cohorts of kids in a room. Complicated for the teachers to have to reach a broader swath.
Clementine says
Me! Our district cutoff is in December… so technically my kiddo was redshirted; however, in just about every other State, he would be ‘on track’.
We actually started him ‘on time’ in Pre-K as a 3 year old, but COVID meant that we opted to repeat Pre-K and it was 100% the right choice. To me, there is a distinct difference in redshirting a ‘cusp’ kid (meaning October or Later or otherwise within a month of the cutoff) and redshirting a kid born in March for ‘advantages’.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
As someone with an August birthday who grew up and is raising kids where there is a 9/1 cutoff – I find this interesting! I was never redshirted, and I was always the youngest. I started college the summer after my senior year and didn’t turn 18 until towards the end of that summer – and I was living in a dorm, taking college classes, etc.!
Both my kids are boys with late-fall birthdays, so both will start public K a a few months shy of 6. DS #1 did private kinder this past year, which was wonderful for him, but I don’t know that he was ready for public kinder. I liked that he had friends that turned 6 and are off to 1st grade this fall – I think they all had different baselines which helped “push” them to learn more (terrible phrasing but I hope that makes sense). We plan to do the same with DS #2 – one year of private kinder/TK and then public.
One of my close friend’s daughter has an August birthday, and they are switching from private Montessori to public school, so the daughter will do 1st over again in public. My friend wanted her not to be the youngest and plus the new environment, etc.
Anonymous says
I had a late November birthday in a state where the cutoff was 12/1 and was not always the youngest in my class because back then redshirting wasn’t a thing, but skipping grades was. I always wanted to skip a grade because I was bored out of my mind. I started college at 17 and the only problem was having to tell all the activists at the voter registration tables on campus that I wouldn’t be old enough to vote in the November election. I was so done with high school by senior year and was desperate to get out of there. I can’t imagine being stuck there another year.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Girl, yes. I JUMPED at the chance to start college ready and never looked back to HS. I was 100% ready (and had been prepared thanks to my parents and great teachers).
Anonymous says
On the other hand, I was 19 when I started college (not redshirted, just a September birthday) and it was fine. Was I eager to get out of the house my senior year? Sure, I think most teens are. But I don’t think it irreparably harmed me or anything and there were advantages to being old for my grade.
Anonymous says
There is no winning with this question. I have a kid who was born the day after the cutoff in our district (10/1). I thought she’d be the oldest. She is is one of the older kids but in her K class there were 6 kids older than her!! (She’s a 5th grader now and that has not always been the case). She recently befriended a group of girls through sports (she’s often aged up) that are the grade above her but on the younger side- so about 2 months older than her. It’s a nice group.
My middle is a July bday and she has kids (mostly boys but some girls too) that are a full year older than her bc they were redshirted. My kid is immature for her grade but honestly….the girl she’s friends with that is a full year older is the same. They both have adhd and I think would have similar struggles no matter what grade they were in. She has a pack of friends that trend on the younger side.
My youngest, 6, is also a July bday but you’d never know it. She rolls with kids twice her age and has the vocabulary and mannerisms of a 10 year old. It honestly only comes up when there is a developmental/physical thing and people forget she’s young. Like…she’s one of the shortest kids in her class but we are a tall family. She’s actually 80th percentile! Just young! Or she had messy handwriting in PK and her teacher was concerned until she remembered she was the youngest in class by 6 months.
Boston Legal Eagle says
My April kid has a Sept. bday friend who is basically on the same maturity level as him. He’s also got an August friend (not redshirted) who’s more mature than both of them! I do think his current closest friends are all also spring birthdays.
Anon says
Parents of summer boys can’t win. If we send them to K just after turning 5, all we hear from teachers and other parents is how they can’t focus, they are a disruption to the rest of the class, they aren’t as advanced as the other kids, or about how they are “soooooo tiny” compared to the other boys. If we redshirt, suddenly it’s cheating and we just want our boys to be the best at sports. I know that in this particular instance it’s an issue of giving their son a “leg up,” but that’s not always the case. Can we please just allow parents do what they think is best for their particular child and stop judging choices we likely know very little about?
And it’s important to note here that being held back isn’t really a “thing” anymore barring extenuating circumstances. In most cases, parents only have one chance to make the “right choice” for their families. We are all just out here doing the best we can and hoping it works out in the end. And by we, I mean me, who redshirted her mid-summer-birthday hyperactive, inattentive, small-for-his-age son last year and is just crossing my fingers that it was the right move.
Anon says
+1 million to the first paragraph. You can’t win.
Boston Legal Eagle says
There should be more strict enforcement of the cutoffs, IMO, similar to what the poster is saying on NYC below. Otherwise, you get all older summer kids, then the spring kid parents start to redshirt, as the other poster below said, and then will it eventually be Jan/Feb redshirting to get that advantage and it never ends? But I definitely understand that it’s not on you as a parent to solve – it should be the district making this a strict rule absent extenuating circumstances.
Whatever says
+1000 to this. My sons birthday is exactly a week before the cutoff and I am going to wait a year to send him.
Maybe there should be a “earliest” and “latest” date and then a range where parents can make the call. But I don’t make the rules, and I’m not going to send my kid before he’s ready just so that other people don’t judge me.
Anonymous says
Interesting that no one else from NYC has chimed in! NYC is notoriously against red shirting and has a 12/31 cutoff. If you want to hold your child back, you cannot do it unless you send them to private school for both kindergarten and first grade, and then they would enter public school. There are limited exceptions but it is almost impossible to get one.
I have a child born in late November, who will be on the young side. And I actually don’t care, because this policy means he will be in a class with appropriately aged kids and I don’t need to worry about kids being significantly older due to red shirting. I’ve heard from parents across the board that while they were worried at first it’s ultimately a positive because kindergarten is taught to 4/5 year old level and every child is at that level.
If we move to the suburbs it could be tricky given that he will likely miss the cutoff in most suburbs but we will deal with that as needed.
NYCer says
And on the other end of the NYC spectrum, my kids go to private school with a 9/1 cutoff where almost everyone with a July or August birthday redshirts. My kids have Feb and April birthdays, so we personally never had to give it any consideration, but it is very, very common.
I do concur with Anonymous above that redshirting is essentially not allowed in NYC public schools though.
Anon says
Chicago public schools is similarly strict on redshirting. If a child tries to enter K as a 6 year old (ie an august 15 birthday for the 9/1 cut off) they will be placed in first grade. you’d have to do private for K and 1 to get around it, I think. However, there is flexibility for early entry – if a kid will turn 5 by 12/31 of kindergarten, they can apply and test for early enrollment. My kid has a late September birthday and I’m debating about having them tested. I see pros and cons both ways.
Anon says
I am with you in that i have kids with May birthdays and live in an area where people start red shirting April/May bdays. If i lived where i live and had a boy with a summer birthday I’d hold back largely because everyone else does. To me the cut off should be the cut off and everyone should be required to follow it absent a legitimate educational reason. I have twins who just turned 5 in May and will be starting K in the fall with kids who turned 6 in May
Anonymous says
This is a super fascinating issue for me. DH is one day older than I am, we have August birthdays, and we grew up in districts with a 9/1 cutoff. DH was redshirted (parents didn’t think he was developmentally ready for K), and I was not, so he has the perspective of being the oldest in his grade, and I have the perspective of being the youngest. We had similar life/school trajectories and ended up in pretty much the same place, both personally and professionally, and we both think our respective parents made the right call. We now have a kid born on our district’s cutoff date, so we’ll be making this decision in a couple years.
EDAnon says
That’s a funny set of coincidences!
Anonymous says
This is why we need a strict cutoff date (I am in favor of December) plus tracking. Start all kids in K at 4.5 or 5. Separate them into classes based on readiness. Kids who are already reading and writing in one class, those with no letter recognition in another class, etc. Offer multiple math and reading group levels within each class. Re-evaluate placement every year and screen every child for giftedness at several points.
We also need better classroom environments and management in the early grades. Elementary school classrooms these days are unbearably hot and stuffy, cramped, and chaotic, with far too little natural light and outdoor time. Combine that with boring worksheets, and it’s no wonder that kids can’t sit still. Take 95 percent of the brightly colored posters off the walls, open the windows, increase the space between desks, and have the kids go outside and run around three times a day like we did when I was in full-day K (morning recess, lunch recess, afternoon PE).
Anon says
Early academic tracking does a lot of harm. It’s also heavily biased in favor of reading ability. My husband is one of the smartest & most academically successful adults I know (he has a PhD in math and is a professor at a top university) but was tracked as “dumb” in his private elementary school due to lack of reading ability, likely due to an undiagnosed disability like dyslexia. He has the type of personality where he thrives on being underestimated, so it didn’t derail him permanently, but I know that it would have shattered me and destroyed any chance of future academic success. Obviously this is just one anecdote but there are lots of studies out there that show how this kind of early tracking harms kids who get put in the dumb tracks. It also disproportionately hurts poorer kids and underrepresented minority kids who tend to not to have as much family/hired support as wealthy white and Asian kids.
anon says
Agree. In our district, differentiation does not start until mid-elementary. And it’s only done for specific subjects (math and reading). The general classroom is mixed with kids of all abilities. Then for a short period each day, the kids are with their differentiated groups. It’s not a perfect system but it allows kids to be evaluated more fairly and evenly than they would coming fresh into kindergarten. And from what I can see, kids aren’t locked into a track; teachers can shuffle kids back and forth depending on how they’re doing.
Anon says
It’s very hard, especially with little kids, to separate raw intelligence from how much tutoring they’re getting at home. I have a number of academically intense friends in the Bay Area who had tutors for their bright kids beginning as young as 4. Fortunately that doesn’t seem to be very widespread, but I imagine way more parents would be hiring tutors if their children were being tracked at age 4 or 5 onto a path that could determine their college options. I have a real problem with rewarding parents for hiring tutors for children who haven’t fallen behind and allowing children whose parents can pay for private tutoring to believe they’re smarter and more deserving than other children.
Anonymous says
It is totally cheating, especially if she wants him to attend an elite high school where entrance is still exam-based. Where we live, the elite high school exam is essentially an intelligence test and is normed to a 13.5-year-old eighth-grader. It doesn’t seem quite fair for a bunch of redshirted 14.5-year-olds to be competing with the traditionally aged kids, much less with the kids who skipped a grade and are not quite 13.
Anon says
I’m not sure I buy that argument. If your child skipped a grade for academic reasons, it’s because they’re at the level of kids a year older, so why is their younger age relevant?
Anonymous says
Maybe you are right for the grade skipper, but the sandbagging is not fair to the traditionally aged kids.
Anon says
I’m not sure I buy that a year of age confers an advantage in test scores after elementary school. I would think the impact on athletics is way bigger. But age 12, standardized test scores have way more to do with intelligence and academic preparation that chronological age.
Anon says
I have a late summer birthday myself, and I think it’s almost impossible to get right. I was smart, very verbal, and was able to read before I turned 4 so my parents decided for me to be on the younger side. While I was academically ready, I was not at all socially ready and I did struggle for a while.
On the flip side, my mom also has a summer birthday. In the late 1960s/early 1970s, her school actually created a class between K and 1st grade for kids who weren’t ready for 1st. She was placed into that class so even though she started K young, she ended up being old for her class. I think it’s pretty telling that there were enough kids to create an entire class for students like this! My mom did say that everyone in her class was a youngest child (meanwhile I’m the eldest).
My nephew’s birthday is 2 days before mine. He’s the oldest sibling and he’s definitely very smart; his parents decided to have him be young for his grade despite my protests. He’s now in high school but repeated his 8th grade year (did grade school, including 1 year of 8th at public school and then 2nd year of 8th + high school at a private school) because they realized he probably wasn’t ready for high school yet.
Boston Legal Eagle says
It’s certainly a contentious issue, given all the comments here and in the thread I mentioned. While I agree that, as a generalization, the younger kids may have a harder time socially or emotionally, someone by necessity has to be the youngest, right? There’s no solving for this if you just keep pushing back the red shirt timing, and I think cut off dates are there for this reason.
Anon says
I think that’s only true if you believe that issue is relative age vs absolute. A lot of K teachers (including my mom) support redshirting because they believe many kids need an extra year to be ready – it’s not being the youngest in the class (vs the oldest), it’s being 5.
EDAnon says
I agree with this. I think that age is only a marker of development. Think about how many 1 year olds can walk and say 5+ words and how many take months to reach those milestones. Age is an indicator but it doesn’t mean the same thing as ability.
Anon says
So, I take education very, very seriously and I think part of the issue is that there will never be a one-size fits all solution. In public education, they’re catering to the masses and often teaching / making decisions to the lowest common denominator; there are too many students to care about what’s best for each individual student or family.
I don’t really agree with redshirting for the sake of redshirting or for athletics (and I’m a former D1 athlete, I care about sports!), but I think there are plenty of circumstances in which abiding by a strict cut off isn’t great for the student.
Anonymous says
wow, tons of comments here. My son’s birthday is a week before the cutoff and we sent him “on time.” or more specifically we sent him to a Montessori K (thanks, pandemic public school virtual learning) a week after he’d turned 5. while I reserved the right to have him go to public K again, we ended up just sending him to 1st grade this past school year. he’s tall for his age and had apparently eased into school well enough as a Primary 3rd year that he was ready to be a first grader. he’s pretty high-energy, but the teacher commented at conferences that she had no idea how young he was until she looked at the birthdays, so I’m fairly confident he was no more disruptive than an average first grade boy.
my husband also has a late summer birthday and was adamant all along against red-shirting. I do think there are totally valid reasons to do it, and that parents do not owe anyone except the school administrators their reasons, but in general it’s overdone. that said, like most parenting decisions… it’s not worth my energy to be too invested in anyone else’s choices.
Fallen says
So my 10 year old is visiting her grandparents this month. She is having such a blast (seriously, they go ride horses every weekend, go to waterparks, arcades, etc – they are spoiling her to death!). We miss her a ton and she hasn’t been great with the phone. Is this a thing with 10 year olds?
It is making me sad and think a lot about how things will be when she (and my younger one, a boy, which is not making me think he will be better about staying in touch) leave for college. What if they don’t call much/stays in touch? I feel like we have built our lives around these kids and it seems so hard to think that in less than a decade they will be leaving to live their own life and who knows what part we will get to play in it. I guess at least it reminds me to be sure to continue to have a life outside my kids/not quit my career on all the days it feels like a lot!
anon says
You’re worried that your 18 year old will have the same communication that she did when she was ten? You’re creating a problem that doesn’t exist! She’s off having a great time. I also don’t like talking on the phone but am extremely close with my parents at age 33.
Anonymous says
Omg girl. Go for a walk. Have some tea. This is not todays problem. Also yes! Your kids will become more independent! That is the goal and also you’ll miss them but you and they will be fine. I beg of you not to worry about college because your ten year old is secure and happy with her grandparents.
Anonymous says
I consider it a win when my kid is having so much fun that she doesn’t call or text.
Anon says
This sounds wonderful for your daughter! I wouldn’t infer anything about the future from how she is at 10. We just left my 5 year old with my parents for a week to go on a couples trip for the first time ever. She didn’t really want to talk to us on the phone when we were gone, and when we got home she confidently announced that she will be sitting out all future family vacations because going to the grandparents house is way more fun. When I pointed out that the grandparents come on some of our vacations, she begrudgingly agreed that she’ll go on those trips, but will decline to travel with just me & Dh. I honestly found it pretty hilarious. It’s a reflection of how much she loves her grandparents, not a negative commentary on us. As someone who didn’t spend a lot of time with my grandparents growing up, I’m so grateful my daughter is super close with my parents.
anon says
It’s OK to feel this way! And yet, I wouldn’t read too much into it. I spent plenty of time with my grandparents in the summer and I rarely talked to my parents. I missed them, but I was also having a lot of fun and didn’t want homesickness to creep in. It sounds like your daughter is having the summer of her life, and that is amazing.
And yet, it’s sometimes painful to acknowledge that we will continue to be needed less, after devoting so much time and energy to raising our kids. I think it’s OK to sit with that.
Anonymous says
My son doesn’t know how to talk on the phone. This is a great sign that your daughter feels secure and happy – enjoy it!
Spirograph says
My kids do not know how to talk on the phone, and if they have control of video chat they pay more attention to the virtual background than to the person on the other end. This is how kids are, from what I can tell.
Also, maybe she just doesn’t like to talk on the phone and would rather be doing the fun things than talking to you about them. That’s how *I* feel when I’m way from home. I don’t like calls for the sake of calls; we can catch up when I return. I do like letters and post cards, though. Maybe pen pal with her instead?
Anonymous says
My 10 year old went to camp and didn’t talk to me for 3 weeks. It was fine!! She still my buddy and had lots of stores when she got back.
My 10 year old doesn’t have her own phone. I don’t want her on screens while she’s away from home so I’d hope that she isn’t borrowing a phone to text me! Jeez.
Anon says
I could have written this post! I also have a ten year old with a phone and even when he is at a sleepover, I feel a twinge when he doesn’t text me goodnight! And I am also already thinking about the college years when he is away!! Just reminds me to soak in all the time I can with him. I always try to chat with him at bedtime to ask him how his day was – sometimes when he has a bad day, he will tell me about it when I tuck him in, and I love that he thinks of that time for us too!
Anon says
Kids should be having too much fun at sleepovers to even think about texting their parents goodnight. Definitely soak up the time with him but also rebuild your identity aside from being a mother!
Anon says
We’re traveling through Seattle for a cruise – me, my husband, and 2 kids, 8 & 10, and will have an afternoon/evening, morning, and almost a full day coming back through. Where we’re staying looks to be an easy walk to the Market or the Space Needle. What should we do while we’re there? Suggestions on what to eat for dinner and breakfast? Looking for interesting/can’t get at home stuff, but not too pricy or complicated.
Anon says
Ooh fun! Is the cruise going to Alaska? DH & I did one of those 10 years ago now and it was awesome. One of the best places to cruise, IMO.
Anon says
Yup, very excited to see Alaska! May do a separate post for AK cruise with kids tips. They’re excited as can be! (My kids have it so good.)
Mary Moo Cow says
I would love to hear about your experience! My parents want to take our family on an Alaskan cruise, and it likely would be when my kids are 10 and 8. They heard such good things from friends of theirs who took kids & grandkids on an Alaskan cruise they are considering it for our first ever whole family vacation.
Anon says
Not that poster, but I think cruises (and all-inclusive resorts) are the best options for multi-gen trips. Every adult couple has their own sleeping space, it’s easy to have meals together and activities can easily be separate, together or a mix. There’s no arguing about money or where to go for dinner, and there are tons of food options everywhere for picky eaters. We haven’t done a cruise yet because my parents are Covid cautious, but we love resort trips with the grandparents and I think a cruise has a lot of the same advantages.
Anon says
Will report back! Ours is a multi-family, too – my in-laws and my sister-in-law and her husband and teen are going too. It’s a lot of family, but I’m sure it will still be great. (We’ve traveled with the in-laws before; they’re great people but a lot if you know what I mean.)
Might have to try the main page for Seattle recs. ( or maybe I should post late, for time zone reasons.)
Boston Legal Eagle says
I would love to do this too! My parents have been talking about taking an Alaskan cruise, so maybe I can tag along my family when the kids are a bit older for our annual multi gen trip. Is there a time of year that this is best for? I’d imagine winter is too cold, but is June or August going to be ok?
Anon says
The Alaska cruise season is May-August. July and early August is likely to be the warmest weather, but every month has advantages and disadvantages. In May and possibly even into June there is more ice in the water so it’s hard to get close to the glaciers, which was a big reason we went in July.
anon says
I’m having a bit of parenting FOMO today. In my state, it’s state baseball tournament season. Seeing all these social posts about how everybody loves their teammates SO MUCH and has built a community with the other parents is making me a bit wistful. We have never experienced that with kids’ activities, ever. And my son, at least, has never been drawn to team sports so that was just not going to be his/our path. And most of the time, that is just fine. We’re all kind of homebodies and like the freedom to do our own thing. And yet! Part of me wonders if we’re all missing out on this major experience that so many other families seem to be having. The built-in community part seems great (until it’s not, there’s plenty of drama to go around, too, from what I’ve seen). IDK. I would sound insane if I said this out loud so I’m bringing it to my favorite internet moms. ;)
Anon says
Just reaffirming that there’s probably a lot of drama you don’t see. I did a sport and yes, it was sometimes nice to have a second friend group when school friends were being mean, but there was so much drama (among both the moms and the kids) that it generally it didn’t feel like it added net value to our lives. It probably depends where you live, but heavily involved sports moms skew SAHM, and my mom was really ostracized for having a job and a life outside the sport. She’s not in contact with any of them now.
OOO says
Ah yes, social media has a way of making everything look so rosy. Of course you will build a community with other people you are forced to spend all day with every weekend! I’m guessing the baseball moms have not posted about the free time lost and vacations sacrificed, or the expense, or their other children not getting to do what they want because they have to watch baseball all day.
anon says
true true true. I have to remember this.
govtattymom says
I totally get this! My neighborhood has an awesome swim team. Every time I go to the pool, I see lots of moms chatting and having a great time because they know each other from swim team. Since I’m new to the neighborhood, lots of people have suggested making friends by having my daughter participate. But my daughter isn’t a strong swimmer (totally safe in the water just doesn’t know all the strokes etc.) and doesn’t want to swim as her extracurricular. It’s unfortunate but doesn’t really make sense to force her into it for my benefit. I think your feelings are valid as it is just so hard to build community these days!
Anonymous says
Not sure if this is true by you but we have a swim team like you describe. We love non swimmers! Unless your kid is like 12 it doesn’t take much to get them decent enough to not be embarrassed at meets. And if your kid is 8 or under honestly just swim! My kids are all on swim team. My newly 5 year old swims 12.5m (half the pool) and still has a lifeguard “companion” aka someone walking behind her in case she can’t make it (so far she’s made it! Only one meet so far though). My about to turn 7 year old swims one lap (25m) and is always in the last heat. She never finishes last in her heat though so she loves it! She actually won 4th place once but came in last in her heat and was more upset than when she’s not placed!
My 9 y/o begrudgingly joined this year bc all her friends do it. She’s actually crazy good at it now that she has to swim 50m. She doesn’t have the speed but she has the stamina. She has no interest in year round swim and will tell anyone that listens that the swim cap is the devil.
anonM says
Skip that cost/expense/burden (especially here where your kiddo isn’t interested). I’d suggest focusing your energy elsewhere. My friend started “first fridays” – always the first Friday of the month at a local restaurant for dinner/drinks with a few of us friends who are all moms. Our partners know the schedule, it is often only two hours, but it has done wonders for helping us form our own positive community of supportive moms. It’s not tied to one activity, our kids are of different ages, needs, etc., so it is a good sounding board where we all cheer on our kids accomplishments (even when those milestones look very different). It’s nice that it is not at all a competitive environment between us, which is easier when it is not tied to a team/sport. And, if you can’t make it once, no big deal – the next get-together is a month away.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1 – it sounds like you want community vs. the experience of sport for your kid. If you have the desire, I’d focus on thinking about what that can look like and where there are relationships you can invest in. It’s definitely not effortless but I feel like the results deeply outweigh the mental load.
Ours are the following for the unit – outside of time with the immediate unit (I include grandparents and our own siblings in immediate), and the relationships with friends we nurture separately:
1. Time with my cousins/their kids – Usually every 4-6 weeks – and yes I usually have to nudge us all to do this but it’s well worth it.
2. Time with my local BFFs and/or their families (e.g. birthdays, dinner parties, random get togethers) – Often around probably 8-10 times a year, we are working to “annualize” a few things.
3. Neighborhood/School – Working on this as DS #1 approaches elementary – we have gotten closer with a few neighbors and families at the kids’ current school – what works are very casual hangs/run-ins – going to a brewery for hang/dinner on a weekend evening, potluck grilling/water play (bonus if they have a pool), post-pick-up dinners, etc.
Meal prep help says
My husband and I are spending way too much time on kid meals – what are your best tips for streamlining? We have a 5 and 2 year old and both need lunch plus 2 snacks sent. (Would happily buy meals but that’s not an option in their camps/care this summer).
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Templates – pick a few things and stick to that – e.g. PBJ on T and Th, turkey wraps (or whatever) MWF with the same sides.
Same snacks every day – e.g AM – Yogurt + pretzels, PM – Cheese Stick + carrot.
BIG Caveat: Have never packed lunch regularly for kids (also 2 and 5)
TheElms says
Plan a rotation and stick to it so you only do the mental work of what to give them once. We do different fruits for snack than for lunch so we get some variety that way. Things we commonly do include:
Snacks (fruit + protein in the AM; protein plus carb in the PM generally)
-Fruit: Typically apples or orange slices/clementines
-Protein: yogurt pouch, cheese sticks, Lara bars, Kind bars (if nuts are allowed)
-Carbs: pretzels, goldfish, pirates booty, cheerios, veggie straws
-Sometimes I do “trail mix” (we do cheerios and dried fruit and sometimes a few m&ms) as the carb
Lunch (main, fruit, veggie, sometimes crackers)
-Main items: pbj (or sunbutter), salami, ham, yogurt pouch, leftover pasta, bagel + cream cheese
-Veggies: snap peas, brocolli, red pepper, cucumber, carrot sticks (usually all sent with ranch to dip) (often not eaten!)
Fruit: berries, mango, watermelon, peaches, plums
-Crackers: pretzels, club crackers, graham crackers, ritz, veggie straws
govtattymom says
I have similar aged kids (6 and 2). My husband took over this job because it was driving me crazy! He packs pretty much the same thing every day. 6 year old: PB&J, apple slices, cucumbers, and sting cheese + either pirate’s booty or granola bar for snack. 2 year old: cut up string cheese, strawberries, baby granola bar, and cheerios. We don’t pack snacks for the two year old because the daycare provides those. Hope this gives you some ideas!!!
Anon says
Had a frustrating weekend with my husband that makes me think we need to sit down and hash out our parenting plan.
Daughter is hitting the fun 2 year old stage, which is both truly delightful and understandably a lot more work/frustration. Husband made a couple of comments this weekend about “I just can’t say no to her” and how he allows/plans to allow unlimited screens/juice/snacks when he’s solo parenting her.
Dude, not cool, especially when this is against things you’ve said in the past. I’m a little dumbfounded why my normally incredibly responsible husband suddenly thinks it’s okay to treat parenting like babysitting. Arrrrgh.
anon says
I would be seeing red. That is so not cool.
anon says
What’s your problem with this exactly? He’s not enough of a disciplinarian? Or he’s not providing enough structure? How often does he solo parent?
Anonymous says
Not OP, but I would have a huge problem if my spouse and I had agreed on the house rules and then he let them go out the window whenever he solo parented. That would make me into the bad guy and him into the fun dad. It would also lead to complaints and resistance when we tried to enforce the rules when we were both around.
Boston Legal Eagle says
“how he allows/plans to allow unlimited screens/juice/snacks when he’s solo parenting her” – yikes. Was he joking? Maybe you can tell him that boundaries are good for kids, and will actually make them easier (eventually…)
Anon says
I… don’t think he was joking. I don’t know, they were a couple of throw away lines he said in passing this weekend, but also correlate to some of his recent parenting choices. I really need to sit down and talk with him and figure out 1) what he meant 2) if he doesn’t think boundaries and limits are important for toddlers or 3) he thinks they’re important for me to do and not him so he gets to be fun Dad.
Anon says
What does he mean by solo parenting? We are admittedly pretty lax when true solo parenting (i.e., other parent is out of town overnight) but that situation is also not super common in our family. If he defines it as every time he’s alone with her, that seems more concerning.
anonM says
+1, my thoughts too. FWIW, if he’s normally an active parent and you’re usually on the same page, maybe now is a good time to approach him with a parenting philosophy discussion/resources together (instead of an approach of what he did wrong). Hitting 2 is a big change as parents! What parenting philosophy are you going to try to follow? Are you going to use time outs or something else? What does your kid react to? In our family, if I tell DH that I’m noticing XYZ behavior (or XYZ behavior is driving me nuts) so I’m going to read up on it and him to do the same, then I can come back the next day and say ok, how about we try this and this? Like anything if both partners have buy-in, it goes better. 2 year olds can be so dang cute and funny that it often IS hard to tell them no or to correct them!
CCLA says
Yeah same. If this is every time they’re alone this would not fly for us, but if one of us is gone overnight for example, we get pretty lax. Key is that we are both aware of and OK with that, though.
OP says
He defines it as every time he’s alone with her (which is at most a couple of hours). Neither of us truly solo parent much, but I totally agree if someone is gone overnight then the normal house rules don’t apply.
Anon says
I just found out I was pregnant a couple weeks ago, and am currently just over 5 weeks. Any tips for not driving myself crazy worrying about loss in the first trimester? I have PCOS, so am slightly higher risk. My first doctors appointment isn’t until the end of July. Waiting is the worst.
anon says
Day by day. To help mitigate risk, you should exercise and eat essentially zero added sugar, and manage your carbs too. Miscarriage risk for PCOS is likely influenced at least in part by blood sugar issues, even if you haven’t been diagnosed with insulin resistance.
New Here says
Just take it day by day. I also have PCOS and insulin resistant. I had to use meds to help get pregnant, so waiting 4 weeks after that positive test was TORTURE. Do whatever makes you feel good – I walked, drank a lot of water, and took naps because I started feeling tired early on.
FWIW, I definitely had some added sugar and carbs (not crazy amounts) while pregnant, the whole time. I also never developed GD despite being at a higher risk for it. It is different for every person.
anon says
So avoiding sugar isn’t about avoiding GD, it’s about mitigating risk for pregnancy loss. There’s good evidence that the biome of the uterus as well as the developing placenta are more sensitive to sugar in women with PCOS, and that sugar-induced changes can contribute to pregnancy loss. Although it is different for every person, the data as a whole is pretty good on this
Vicky Austin says
Any favorite products for postpartum baby hairs? I had terrible breakage and flyaways before getting pregnant and now I look like I got electrocuted.
Mrs. Luke Danes says
I have a wax stick from tigi that I like!
Field day says
You guys have been so great when I’ve posted about party ideas in the past. My daughter is turning 7 soon and wants a backyard party (ugh). She wants a rented bounce house/water slide, and we already have a foam machine thing from COVID and a giant unicorn sprinkler. We also have a popcorn maker and a snow cone maker and my oldest kid has been lobbying hard for a cotton candy machine (target has one). I also have some 10/11 year old girls at my disposal to help run things if needed. I’m thinking of making the party either carnival or field day/Olympic themed.
I posted earlier this year about a valentine’s party for this same group of girls and we had so much fun! The key to success was lots and lots of activities because they (my kid especially) have short attention spans and a propensity to scream and run when bored :).
I’m thinking an hour and a half or two hours, maybe 2-4? I think we may invite 20 girls and yield 10ish due to it being a summer weekend.
2-2:45: arrive, play in bounce house/water slide and foam pit, have popcorn, fruit and drinks available
2:45-3:15: 30 minutes of active games. Could use help on these. 3 legged races, wheelbarrow races, a relay of some kind?, obstacle course (we have all kinds of stuff we could do), tug of war (?), water balloon toss, maybe eat a donut off a string? Pass the parcel?
3:15-3:30- cake
3:30-4- more playhouse/foam/whatever.
questions: 1) ideas for other activities/games? 2) do I do individual prizes for the winners? Sort kids into teams when they arrive and have them compete at the team level? have a prize table where everyone ends up getting to pick a prize as their favor? 3) what do i do if it rains? We have a house that could handle kids but…I don’t want to ;) 4) how many kid is too many? She’s the youngest in her class so has already been invited to tons of b’day parties. She also has summer camp friends and pool/neighborhood friends, all of which are in and out all summer long so I’m not sure who is available.
field day says
Oh- if I have them divided up into teams, I could get them shirts in that color and they can decorate them with fabric markers when they arrive? Or headbands? I think girls would go for headbands and it’s less cluttery. 80s style sweat bands? :)
Anon says
I had a long post that got eaten. I remember your Valentines post, glad it was a hit. I’d maybe focus a bit less on which team ‘wins’ overall and maybe at the end have awards for each team, not bc i feel like in life everyone needs a trophy, but this is a bday party. So maybe one team has the most team spirit, one made the best tshirts, etc. i love the idea of decorating headbands or tshirts and that being the thing they take home. We recently went to a bday party and the mom hired two middle school girls to paint nails and put on temporary tattoos, which was a huge hit. It terms of additional games, an egg toss or egg/spoon race. There is also the game where you have to use buckets to transfer water, passing them over your head and under. In terms of the rain, there was a torrential downpour during my twins’ playground bday party this year and so i think i need a break from outdoor parties bc it was stressful. You should definitely prep your daughter in advance as to what the rain plan is
Anonymous says
I talked to the kiddo and we agree no teams. Just pick from the prize table, probably 1st-3rd pace or something. I thought team colors would be fun but it’s probably more work than necessary!
Mary Moo Cow says
A carnival/fair theme and all those activities sound fun! 3 legged races, egg on spoon, tug of war, and water balloon toss were popular with my elementary kids at field day this year. Decorating headbands (like blank ones you can tie dye) with fabric markers would be a great warm-up or waiting for everyone to arrive activity.
2 hours sounds about right to me. I’m planning a water bounce house with pass the parcel and cake later this summer, and keeping it to 2 hours. It’s just so hot, especially for parents who stay and huddle under the pop up tent. We’re going to have a rain date ( I have 17 kids on the guest list so far and nothing to do with them inside if it rains.) Are you open to that?
As for prizes, I would do classic ribbons, a bookmark, a character pencil, or something really small (but I hate kid party junk.)
NYCer says
This sounds like a great party!! I think 2 hours is the right length for kids that age, with the expectation that some of her closer friends may linger at the end. I would probably just do a prize table and let everyone pick a prize vs. individual prizes for the winners, but YMMV (seems easier to me). As for actual games, I think it would be a good idea to do at least one non-physical game (such as pass the parcel, like you mentioned – there may be some other carnival type games too if you google) in case some of the kids are less coordinated / athletic than others.
Regarding the rain, if you don’t want the kids inside, I think you either warn your daughter that the party may not happen if it is raining, or else offer a rain delay date on the invite.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Whew… this sounds exhausting as a parent but good on you for making her wish come true! We’ve gone to a few backyard parties where they rented a Tumblebus – I think it has various obstacle courses and games. Not sure if that’s too young for this age group, as these were daycare parties. My kid’s favorite field activity from this past year was the potato sack race and all the kids seemed to enjoy this even though it was 90 degrees and they were all sweating. Agree with a rain date backup, or maybe just push it back by an hour or two if people are willing? I would think people would have less strict plans in the summers, especially afternoons, and we’ve gotten a lot of strong but short storms around here lately, that still leave a few hours open.
Anonymous says
OP here. My 7 year old is kind of a handful so it works better to have a super intense party. I tried to sell her on an outsourced one but no luck ;).
Anonymous says
Oh and we have tumble bus around here. Too small a space for us, plus I have all that junk in my yard already (#suburbs!). We have a slack line, monkey bars, climbing dome, rings, gymnastics mats etc.
OOO says
Love all the ideas from OP and others who replied! If you haven’t yet, check whether your city’s parks dept has party equipment you can rent. I recently discovered ours, and we are renting a parachute for a bday party that comes in a party pack with cones, foam animals, etc and it’s just $15 for the weekend. They also have water slides and obstacle courses.
Anon says
Any app suggestions that help kids learn to read? No i don’t expect an iPad to teach my kids to read but we have a long trip coming up and my recently 5 twins realized some of their friends can read and expressed interest
Anonymous says
Reading dot com and Teach your monster to read have been huge hits this summer with my rising first grader who still struggles a bit with reading. Both cost money and Reading dot com requires quite a bit of parental involvement.
Anonymous says
Editing to say I just noticed it’s for a trip. In that case I would just do Monster. ABCya mentioned below is also good for situations where you’re not sitting next to them/helping.
Anonymous says
ABCYa and RAZ kids are both used in K and might be fun for them. ABC mouse too.
anonM says
So far I’ve liked Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. Also recommend the podcast Sold a Story about how many schools follow a failing approach to teaching reading, which is what made me get the book. For the price of the book, I feel like I got my money’s worth already with its explanation to parents on how to sound out words and the difference between sound types. I doubt we will get through many lessons before DS starts kindergarten, but I’m hoping that doing a few short, positive, and one-on-one lessons will give him some confidence.
anonamommy says
We had great success with Endless Reader. You have to buy the word packs as they progress, but it’s very engaging and really works.
Anon says
Adding Reading Eggs to this list of apps to try out. My kids prek teacher suggested it.
Anonymous says
The Bob books were the most helpful thing for my kiddo. I’d focus more on taking books like those than the iPad. We had some programs on the iPad and they just didn’t do much for my kiddo. Every kid’s probably different though.
Anonymous says
On the other hand, my kid hated the Bob books and all they did was get her to memorize sight words. Hooked on Phonics is what got her actually reading.