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anon. says
House advice for those of you with less-than-large homes. My kids’ bedrooms are really not large enough for desks, and we’re considering having a built-in done in our joint kitchen-dining area. The idea is for it to have a base that’s a double desk with storage on the sides for school stuff, and enclosed bookcases above for additional kitchen storage. Does anyone else have a similar set up with public-area desks, and pros-cons to share? Thanks.
Anonymous says
Sounds messy
Anonymous says
We have a small ‘homework’ room in a sunroom/nook between the kitchen and dining room. It’s a great set up that allows me to pop back and forth to help with homework while cooking. We used Micke desks from Ikea but I also looked a lot at the Latitude Run floating wall desks on wayfair.
I like keeping bedrooms for sleep so limited toys and no desks in bedrooms.
TheElms says
How old are the kids? I did my homework at the breakfast table through 6th grade but I was an only child so it was quiet and this was pre-computers. By middle school I needed a dedicated desk (also because it had a giant desktop on it) and the ability to work in silence / without distractions. So I don’t think your proposed set up would work for older kids and possibly not younger kids because they might antagonize each other. Also what happens when kids are up late doing homework (10pm or later, which is not uncommon in high school). I’d loft a bed to fit a desk in the kids rooms before your solution, I think.
Anon says
Might depend on the kids’ personality. I did my homework at the kitchen table or the couch right through high school. I absolutely never did it in my room, despite having a desk. Eventually I moved to the computer in the basement for part of it, but anytime I was doing homework with a book and a pencil I wanted to be near other people. OP, I think the desk in a central location could work – but also be prepared for kids to set up wherever they want for homework, which may not always be in the dedicated space.
Anon says
Adding: we are pretty committed to no tech in bedrooms. So as homework evolves to be mostly on computers, I absolutely want them in common areas. Maybe not in the center of everything if they need quiet, but somewhere I can casually stroll through as needed.
Anon says
how old are your kids? i feel like as a kid the type of space i needed for doing homework evolved over time. like as i got older certain types of work required more quiet/ability to focus, or back in the stone age i would be on the phone with a friend to work through something together, etc. i also really liked to spread out, so i ultimately ended up doing my HW in a room that was my mom’s office/guest room bc it had a much larger desk than the one in my bedroom, or i would spread out on the floor, which was terrible for my back.
Cb says
I like this idea. My son’s room is too small for a desk, so I assumed he’d work at the breakfast bar or at what is currently his art table in the sun room as he gets older. I’m an only child with an only child, and I always wanted to be in a communal space as a kid.
Anon says
I think having a homework space in a common area makes sense. I feel like most desks you see in kids bedrooms just become a dumping ground and are not conducive for homework.
Anonymous says
My kids do their homework on the kitchen table. They also have computers in the “computer lab” in our basement, which is a communal space. I don’t want tech in their bedrooms. HOWEVER, my 4th grader has ADHD and it can be very tough for him to focus in a communal space. Right now his homework isn’t intensive or time-consuming enough that this has been a huge issue, but I can see it getting that way in a couple years…
The built-in you described could fill a lot of purposes, so I’d just do it and even if it doesn’t work well for homework, it will still be a good spot for “household administration” or even serves as a sideboard/buffet.
OP. says
Thanks, all. I’m the OP and a lot to think about here. Appreciate everyone’s responses.
ElisaR says
Based on recommendations from this group, we are headed to Beaches Turks and Caicos at the end of the week with our 5 and 7 year old sons. Any tips or insights on what to do or pack that you gathered in your own experience?
Anon says
Mentally prepare yourself that the airport is miserable (crowded, chaotic, hot, looong waits). But the island is beautiful and apart from that you’ll have an amazing trip!
Anonymous says
Not the OP, but heading to T&C soon- is this what the “Fast Pass” would be good for? The one that’s $75 a person? Thank you!
Anon says
FastTrak helps with the waits but not with how hot and chaotic it is. Especially on return when you have to be there several hours before your flight departs. But yeah, I’d recommend FastTrak for anyone heading to Turks and Caicos.
ElisaR says
I don’t know about FastTrak. Is that through the airline? Resort?
Anon says
It’s not sold by the resorts. I’m not entirely sure who sells it, but I think they must be working in cooperation with the Turks and Caicos government because you bypass official immigration lines. You can buy it here: https://www.fasttracktci.com/
It’s pricey ($75/person each direction) but worth it, especially if you’re arriving or departing on Saturday when the airport gets very overwhelmed. When we were there, the customs line without Fast Track wasn’t too crazy, maybe 30-45 minutes. But I heard someone complaining about waiting 3 hours. And Fast Track eliminates the risk of that.
Anon says
It’s good for arriving but not for departures where the issues are the airline lines and the waiting area. It’s a separate company, you can just google it. Would recommend for arrival but not departure. At departure would just give yourself lots of time, mentally focus on relaxing and bring snacks.
Anon says
Agreed Fast Track on arrival is more essential, but I wouldn’t say departure is worthless. On departure it got us through a very long security line in less than 5 minutes. We have airline status so we didn’t have any wait with the airlines, but agree it doesn’t help with that and you need to allow plenty of time for that if you’re not flying in first class or an airline status holder. FYI the Provo airport isn’t equipped for mobile boarding passes, at least on some airlines. I’m sure Beaches can print them for you, but I didn’t think to ask because I haven’t used a printed boarding pass in years.
Anon says
We love Beaches TCI! I really did not think it would be worth the (fairly insane, to me) amount of money it costs, but it was. A few misc tips:
-FastTrak for the Provo airport both directions, the lines there can be insane
-Go early to the restaurants for dinner if you don’t want to have to wait
-Virgin drinks at the swim-up bar were a huge hit with my then almost 5 year old, especially a chocolate banana drink called a Chocolate Monkey
-I think TCI is fairly windy compared to other Caribbean islands and on our recent 7 day trip, all but one day had red flags meaning no water sports or complimentary snorkel trips. There was plenty of other stuff to do (pools, water park, shows, playing on the beach etc) but just FYI
-The rooms are not super modern but were not as bad as I expected based on complaints online about “dated” rooms
-Pack a lot of swimsuits, cover-ups, sunscreen, beach toys if you have room. There’s a gift shop there but it’s pricey as you’d expect. Dress at the resort is very casual. When we were there there were some free pool toys and floaties we were able to use, not sure if we just got lucky or if that’s always a thing.
Anon says
I wrote a detailed review of our trip on my b l o g, the link is in my profile. I feel a little awkward sharing but hopefully it’s ok.
Enjoy! We rebooked for March 2024 immediately after our December 2022 trip.
ElisaR says
wonderful!! i’m so glad you shared. Thanks.
anon says
The airport on the return is brutal. Hot, limited seating / super crowded and not great food options. Pack snacks before you leave the hotel and make sure everything is fully charged. Other than that, nothing extra to really offer. Don’t over think it. It’s a great place. We were there in December.
This will surely out me, but we even had to go to the ER the first night because DD evidently had a bad allergic reaction to something environmental. It was very scary in the moment. They were white glove service from the moment we called the on-call Beaches-staffed nurse at 1am, to personally driving us and waiting for us in an escalade at 2am at the ER, to the return ride home 3 hours later, and then checking in more than once to make sure we were doing ok. They even delivered her Rx to our room the next morning so we didn’t have to leave the hotel a second time. I hope you don’t need to experience what we did, but the service was genuinely next level.
ElisaR says
oh wow, i’m sorry to hear that. thanks for the insights.
Anon says
Parenting advice needed. so yesterday we took our almost 5 year old twins to an easter egg hunt. the eggs were filled with various little toys, etc. Twin A got two eggs that had key chains, one had a unicorn and one a bee. Twin B did not get any keychains. Twin A then said out loud “I’m thinking about how kind it would be to give Twin B the bee keychain.” Twin B rejected the bee keychain, and then kept opening her eggs and saw she had a squishy unicorn and convinced Twin A to trade the unicorn key chain for the squishy unicorn. A bit later, Twin A was hysterical that she didn’t want the squishy unicorn and wanted her key chain back. I do think Twin A felt a bit coerced and we were in the car driving at that point and so I made them switch back and said that from now on in our family we should wait 24 hours to make trades. This morning Twin B decided she wanted the bee keychain, and asked Twin A if she could have it, and Twin A said yes, so we put it on her lunch bag. Then 10 minutes later, Twin A said she wanted it back and this time I reminded her that she offered it to Twin B both yesterday and today and while she did not have to give it to Twin B in the first place, since she did, it is now Twin B’s and she has to ask Twin B if she coudl have it back.
I feel like I handled this whole thing completely wrong. Any advice for how to handle better? How to handle trading etc.
Anonymous says
Omg don’t handle it you’ll never get a moment’s peace. They’re 4. It was a fair trade and there was no reason to cave into twin A. Let them be sad about things like this.
Anon says
I tend to stay out of trading, if both kids find it fair at the point of trade (so, even if I think it’s unfair to one of the kids, if they’re both happy with the decision I let it be). Sometimes I do have to watch out for older kids knowingly taking advantage of younger kids, but with twins that age differential isn’t a factor (personalities might be, though!). And then yes, if they are sad about what they chose, you can encourage them to talk to sibling to try to come up with a new plan, or just empathize. This is a low-stakes area for them to learn about relationships.
Anon says
+1 to “This is a low-stakes area for them to learn about relationships.” Stay out of it and let them learn.
Anon says
+2
Anonymous says
I’m a twin mom and this is the answer.
Spirograph says
I’m not a twin mom, but this is still the answer among my 3 kids. I also may intercede when they are “trading” things clearly of unequal monetary value with kids outside our family.
Anon says
The world of Pokémon trading on the bus has been hard for me as a mom, lol. I see my kids trading their prized cards for a pack of Oreos. Or trading away their cards for promised future cards that never come. But, they are learning! And we have lots of good conversations about when and who to trust
Boston Legal Eagle says
I hear you that sibling fights like this over petty things are annoying, but unless it turns physical, I think it’s best for me to stay out of it, or encourage them to play apart if they’re not getting along for too long. My kids fight, then play again, then fight again, and I try hard not to take sides or interfere.
anonM says
You might want to check out Siblings Without Rivalry. I’m no expert, but my takeaway is you can help guide them/brainstorm, and definitely intervene when anything dangerous, but leaving room for them to figure things out and tell them you trust them to do so.
Anon says
Understandable, but totally stay out of it. If your kid gives something to another kid be it a gift or a trade, that is the end of it. It is now the receiver’s item. Even the giver feels coerced, that is the lesson to take with them for next time. Or not. I would also not encourage them to solve it by asking for it back even as another trade. That’s not fair to whoever’s it rightly is now.
You will never keep up that 24 hour rule, there will be times where it doesn’t make sense (if there is an obvious mutual desire for a trade), and will just make arguments that may go away resurface the next day unnecessarily, so I would walk back that arbitrary rule. The kids can come up with their own internal thoughts on trade as they learn lessons.
Anon says
I have four kids, including a set of twins, so I have been listening to trades and sharing for years now. Without question, do not intervene, do not mediate, do not enforce, and do not set up arbitrary rules like the 24 hour rule that the kids won’t really be able to follow. In your case, if one twin felt like it was an unfair trade, I would have given that twin the language to accomplish a different result, but would not have “enforced” any trading bath and forth. Otherwise, you are in a terrible cycle of mediating fights.
I learned this the hard way — my kids fought the most when I went through a brief period of time being the “enforcer” — i.e., that’s not a fair trade, or you have to share now, or your turn is over, etc. I learned from a veteran mom that all this does is reinforce bad patterns and habits. Rather, narrating what’s happening or making “I” statements helps — “I would be really frustrated too if someone took my car out of my hands.” or whatever.
Also, I have a really dominant twin, so we were stuck in a situation where the dominant twin took something, and then the other twin would come and cry to me. I would take the toy from the dominant and give it back to the other twin, while reminding Twin A that it wasn’t appropriate behavior. Well, this only led to the dominant twin constantly snatching up toys, and the less dominant twin crying ALL the time for help.
I broke the cycle by just giving the less dominant twin words to use in the actual moment — “It is my turn” or “I’m not done yet, I’ll give you a turn when I’m done.” or “I don’t want to trade.” I stopped punishing the dominant twin or reminding them to share or enforcing – I usually wouldn’t even address the twin who had just done a “bad act” – I just kept supplying language for whoever was struggling. After like a week or some shockingly small period of time, they got so much better at working together — WAY fewer fights. Twin A knows she can’t get away with as much with Twin B, and Twin B is much better at asserting herself.
I was able to start this when they were about 3, so this should go even further with your twins.
anonM says
This is great info. Thanks.
Anonymous says
Step out would be my recommendation. I have 3- 7, 5, and 4. I am also a commercial lawyer and do lots of deals and disputes. I spent a few weeks arbitrating my kids trade disputes and it was exhausting and way more stressful than my work! Between each other and their friends at school there is this whole market place of trading and haggling going on- candy, key chains, Pokemon, whatever small toys. I have stopped getting involved in any details and just try to remind them at a high level:
1. being clear with them about what ownership is (this is yours not someone else’s… or vice versa).
2. stealing and lying are not ok.
3. fairness. Ask questions, don’t get ripped off
4. speak up. If you think the deal was unfair, say so, and consider not trading with that person again.
Hope that helps!
Anon says
I set the ground rule that the trading of inconsequential items must be done with kind voices and without physical violence. They can disagree, but have to work it out. If they start fighting, trading is over. If fighting continues, the items are mine.
They do get warnings and I let them know that I won’t punish a kid who walks away, but if they’re both contributing to the fighting, then it’s over. The items are mine.
Anon says
Yup, I stay out of it 90% of the time but if it gets bad then I take the items.
OP says
thank you all for this. my initial gut reaction was to stay out of it and I guess that was the right call :-) Twin B is definitely our dominant one and is very good at convincing Twin A to trade with her/share with her, etc. (this happened last week with something else, and somehow Twin B ended up with some of Twin A’s stickers, while Twin A did not get any of Twin B’s) and says things like she won’t be her friend anymore or won’t play with her at school, etc. I guess the better approach is to work with Twin A on saying “no” and holding her boundary
Anon says
I’m the twin mom above who wrote a very long post above about this, and my twins are about as different as one could possibly imagine. My Twin B (our less dominant one) also had some physical challenges that made it even harder for her to stand up to her physically and verbally advanced sister – Twin B was speech and gross motor delayed. So she was a prime target to get her stuff taken :) The beauty of the strategy of supplying language in these moments is that you are really giving that child a gift of awareness and how to speak up for themselves that they can apply for the rest of their lives (ask them – “do you want to share this?” “No, okay, then say this….”). At least with two of my kids, they didn’t have an instinctive ability to know HOW to say no to other kids or how to work it out.
I saw this with my older child — I sent my son to a Montessori school that really leaned into letting the kids just work it out, but the school never modeled what that actually looked like or what to say in these heated moments. I watched my older son just absolutely get steamrolled by other children who were naturally more verbal, and he really struggled until we started role playing how to respond to other kids. He’s now a wonderfully articulate kid who speaks with confidence. I guess that’s kind of what I eventually did with my Twin B? Except I was actually there in the moment (bc the other kid was her twin, not a classmate). I’ve found it was also essential not to punish the aggressor – just keep hanging in there until the peace has been reached (i.e., don’t hang your kid out to dry with a sibling, but don’t punish either, as that sets up the “s/he started it!!” madness).
I can say with total honesty too that my kids get along better than any other siblings I’ve ever encountered. We struggle with a whole lot of other issues and have all kinds of other challenges — but I feel proud of the relationship they have with each other.
Anon says
thank you for this! sounds like maybe you also have fraternal girl twins? my Twin A is actually more verbally advanced, and much more comfortable talking to strangers and asking for things in public, but Twin B is naturally stronger in most things fine and gross motor skill related and social interactions come more naturally to her. Twin A is in OT to help with all of these things that come more naturally to Twin B. I of course don’t want them to grow up resenting one another and for Twin A to feel like Twin B always manipulates her, but I guess it is my job to help Twin A learn to stand up for herself
Anon says
Yes – that’s right, fraternal twin girls. And I do think for a lot of people, including kids, standing up for yourself is a learned skill that has to be practiced, especially with peers. I haven’t really thought about the corollary with my older son until typing this all out with you, but supplying the language to let them figure it out really did help both kids longterm (either through role playing bc the conflict happened at school or in the moment bc the conflict was with a twin sibling). Also, my oldest son got so good at working through conflict with peers that we actually think it held back his younger brother. He would jump in to help his brother at school, so when my oldest moved to another school, my second son had to learn some of these conflict skills a lot later when it wasn’t as natural to him (and he hadn’t practiced it in lower stakes settings like my older son and Twin B did — it was with older kids over playground sports, not whose turn is it with the blue car). And my second son was the physically and verbally more advanced kid from a very early age — by all accounts, he should have been farther along with conflict resolution than his older brother, but we never really worked on the skill with him. I think this stuff is fascinating — and it sounds like you have a great handle on your twins’ unique personalities, which helps tremendously.
Anonymous says
As a mom of twin boys, the only rule I really enforce around trading is that if someone says no, you accept no, you don’t get to try and badger them into agreeing with what you want. I think it’s important that boys learn early to hear a no and accept it. This leads to lots of wacky trades that I don’t really understand (lollipop for a ‘good stick’ they found in the backyard or ‘valentine’s day eraser when twin already has the same one for a pokemon card’ but whatever.
Anon says
Has anyone started having parties/get together in an effort to make more parent friends when your kids were toddlers? What did you do?
As some background, we are friendly with a lot of other parents in the area and would like to actually make friends with them. While we’ve lived in our city for a while, many of our friends either don’t have kids yet or have moved out to different suburbs, etc. We’ve gathered that a lot of the parents that are semi-acquaintances at this point are in the same boat as us and are generally wanting to make friends. DH suggested having a grill-out and inviting all of these people, which just seems… exhausting…. since we’d be preparing a meal, etc., and probably not actually interacting with anyone we would be hosting. Any other ideas?
Anon says
We do this frequently, but the obvious answer is order pizza (with some snacks and emergency Kraft Mac and cheese cups available in case a kid doesn’t like pizza). That’s what we almost always do in these situations, with an easy salad and fruit on the side.
Truthfully we usually just do one family at a time. There’s no reason you can’t do multiple, but that’s usually beyond our bandwidth and it sounds like it’s beyond yours too which is okay. Also, as the host I think having multiple families and hosting is the quickest recipe to have the night end feeling like you got no quality time with anyone.
Anon says
Also, while not a requirement by any means you might find more enthusiasm on both sides if you target families that seem on track to go to the same elementary school, if you can tell by geography. While not impossible, it’s tough for both you and the kids to maintain these friendships if you split off to different elementary schools. Just being honest.
NYCer says
Agreed on both of Anon’s points. I have definitely found it easiest to make friends if we hang out with one family at a time (and tbh, even one on one hanging out with just me and the other mom), and also have found it harder to maintain preschool friendships if the kids go to different elementary schools.
Anonymous says
We did it by inviting, inviting, inviting for play dates (park usually) and small group get togethers- now that our youngest is 4 we are also doing more in the way of invite one other family for dinner.
anon says
We are big fans of the impromptu park or playground picnic. So we’ll text a neighborhood family in the early afternoon that we’re planning to order pizza delivery to the playground for dinner, would they like to join? Or we’ll do the same thing on a weekend morning with bagels or doughnuts. This keeps it easy and informal, minimal cleanup, gives the kids a place to play so the adults can chat a bit. If you don’t live near a playground, the same guidelines apply for a backyard dinner.
Anon says
I think it sounds fun to invite people over to your backyard for a low-key gathering. But, I’d buy trays of food so you can visit. Bagels & coffee and fruit trays for brunch, or sandwich trays, pasta salad and fruit for the afternoon. I would not do dinner because toddlers are not their best in the evening.
Anonymous says
Agree with others about doing it 1 family at a time. We do this- if closer, then dinner at our house. But if a new acquaitance we are getting to know, then play date at the park. Kids birthday parties are a natural way for the parents to get together. It may be early too… as others said they may not end up in the same elementary school.
OP says
As some background– a lot of these parents are people we know from the daycare at our synagogue and live in our neighborhood or adjacent to ours. Due to how schools are in our city, I don’t know that anyone honestly knows what elementary school they will end up going to, but since there are only two reform synagogues, so we will theoretically be seeing these people for a long time if they end up sending their kid to religious school before their bar/bat mitzvah.
Anonymous says
I messaged above re: play dates but with the Jewish context, we have also had a lot of success with inviting daycare families/synagogue families for havdallah, Shabbat dinner or Shabbat lunch.
Anon says
i wouldn’t worry so much about who is going to which elementary school. just invite over the families, either one at a time or a few at a time or all at a time. we’ve done different iterations. and keep inviting. i will say we tend to do more inviting and the invitations are not always reciprocated, but that’s ok. it’s been nice meeting different people. growing up my mom did a lot of inviting for shabbat dinners and we also frequently went to friends houses, but i have yet to figure out how to do this bc my kids want dinner at like 5pm and everyone is kind of tired and grumpy on Friday. though I recently realized we did more of the Shabbat dinners once my sister and I were both elementary age. We’ve had some success hosting holiday themed gatherings, though that is obviously not necessary, but if you or any of the other families keep Passover, that could provide an opportunity.
AwayEmily says
I think whole-family hangouts are tons of fun but also super inefficient for making adult friends. I would reach out to one of them individually and ask if they want to get a beer or meet up for a walk after kid bedtime (or during, if you can get the other partner to watch the kids). It’s just way, way easier to bond with someone when you’re not also wrangling children.
Of course, it’s not either-or…but it can help the friend-making process go a lot faster. In terms of whole-family hangouts, we’ve had the most luck with meeting up at a park to have a pizza picnic. That way the kids get to run around and entertain each other and nobody has to host. We have a standing park date on summer Fridays with four other families — we take turns bringing the pizza, and then other people will bring some carrot sticks and juice boxes and plates. It’s very informal and one of my favorite things.
Bette says
We’ve had great success with hosting coffee & donuts on Sunday mornings on our patio in the nicer months. We basically invite anyone and everyone who seems interesting and has kids under the age of 5 – we just say “we’re having some families over for coffee and donuts, feel free to stop by anytime after 10 am.” So easy to prep for, low stakes, people can come and leave at any time, and most kids still need to leave for nap at some point so there’s a built in termination point.
For really building the friendships though, there’s nothing as effective as getting a babysitter and doing a double date. Yes it requires a lot more coordination but it’s so nice to have dinner as adults, it can really help cement the friendship.
Anon says
Agreed with your last paragraph. I’ll also be the dissenter to some other posts and say I have yet to feel like I cemented any adult friendships at playground meet ups. Not to say those don’t have their place and time, but with the wrangling and the chasing and the helping one kid get on the monkey bars every 5 minutes and the lack of comforts of a regular home (comfy seating, non gross bathroom) I just don’t find those as conducive to building true friendships as sitting on someone’s deck at a house you know is enclosed and kid proofed with new-to-your-kid’s toys and being able to relax just a little bit. (And hey, I’ll admit it, ideally with a cocktail or glass of wine which I would not bring to a playground meet up with a family I didn’t know). I think because even the most enjoyable playground meet up I’m at least a little bit wondering when I can go already because of the weather or lack of comforts mentioned or constant wrangling.
Different strokes for different folks though and I’m glad it works for some!
Anon says
+1 Playgrounds are not fun or relaxing with toddlers, and you need a bit of each to really make friends! Playgrounds are work. I’d rather go hang out in someone’s yard or basement with new toys.
Anon says
I love this thread! We have a two year old and just started hanging out with other families. I’ve found that I’m often the one initiating and that some families we get along better with than others. It’s a work in progress and I love all the ideas shared here. Definitely going to try the weekend morning patio donut/bagel idea and pizza at the park!
Anonymous says
Um yes this is how you make friends? And maintain them. Open your home! Don’t have to grill, can do coffee and donuts or platters from an upscale grocery store. But I invite people over like once a month at least. And I plan the park play dates etc…
startup lawyer says
meet up at the park on weekends to start and then do dinners with one family at a time based on how you much you like people.
Anon says
I agree with this. The playground is low stakes and easy and you can gauge how much you enjoy hanging out with the other family and whether they are available or responsive. But inviting a family over for dinner or brunch makes it much more intimate, like you aren’t just killing time but becoming friends. We’ve had other families invite us for dinner and it always means a lot.
Anonymous says
Advice please for helping my son with a broken arm. He is 7, about to get a cast and will be off the playground and out of any sports for 8 weeks. He normally plays very actively with his 2 younger siblings and friends. (They all rough house… ) I told him he is going to be best friends with the librarian. Dad is going to teach him more about chess. Any other ideas to keep his mind occupied other than tv?
Anon says
You might not consider this better than TV but…has he started Minecraft? 7 is a good age for it and I am personally a supporter of it with limits.
Anonymous says
I have not, but I think it’s time… I’ve been reluctant because I know once he is on, his younger siblings are on. Shows how much of a rock I live under, but is it a computer game, Nintendo Switch? As far as limits are there parental controls?
Anon says
It can be played on most devices/platforms, but we like it on the switch. You don’t have to play in online mode, so I’m not sure what else you want parental controls for? There are levels of difficulty to pick from when you start the game. As far as I can tell, it’s a creative game where you can build buildings, set up homesteads, collect items for crafting other things — or you can pillage villages and fight an array of ill intentioned creatures. So, everything a 7 yo boy could want, lol
Anon says
So, there are lots of ways to do it one of which I believe is on the Switch. Our son exclusively plays on an iPad even though we have a Switch. Within the iPad you can set rules for time limits on any app, including Minecraft. Unfortunately I think it is pretty easy for the user to figure out how to ignore the time limit (which you know if you have ever set your own limit for Instagram or anything), but at least our son has been surprisingly honest for years about this even though I’m sure he knows how to extend.
Up to you, but for the younger siblings I think you can make the rule that you have to be X age (7?) to start in your house and stick to it. Too much younger than (6?) I think they would have a hard time anyway. If the older one is playing on an iPad there’s not really a way for them to play “with” him anyway.
It can start to teach some basic building blocks of coding over time, and generally uses a lot of creativity to build things. It will also give him commonality with a lot of other boys his age over the next couple of years.
Anonymous says
I set up my daughter’s ipad with her own kids icloud account, so she cannot bypass the screentime limits without me approving it on her device or me entering a passcode that she does not know. This also allowed me to block her from being able to google or download apps or make purchases in apps.
If you already have a switch, my daughter loves ALL the pokemon games, and anything mario or kirby.
Anonymous says
My kids play it on their ipads in creative mode.
Anonymous says
Sorry I’m going to be the dissenter…Minecraft and any video games release the same amount of dopamine into a child’s brain as..”gardening” does for an adult brain. It’s addictive. I’d get lots of puzzles, walk a ton (Geocaching?), hikes, and books/board games.
Anonymous says
Well we don’t let kids bang or drink or do drugs so seems fair.
Anon says
I actually can’t tell if this comment is pro or anti Minecraft??
Spirograph says
I will not dispute that it’s addictive, but I do think Minecraft is a step above TV. It’s creative, it can be social, it teaches some basic programming and logic stuff. For my kids, it’s also spurred an interest in geology. To me, all of that makes it qualitatively “better” than passively consuming non-educational TV.
I’d push puzzles, hikes and books/board games over Minecraft, but I don’t consider Minecraft bad in moderation, and I prefer it to TV.
Anon says
Interesting, I prefer TV to video games. I have rules about TV, though, limiting it to semi-quality programming for young kids…not YouTube videos (if my kids want to watch those it counts towards their video game time). TV is more communal within the family vs isolating on a device, and less addicting for the reasons outlined above. We allow Minecraft and a few other games, but only for a total of about 4-5 hours on weekends (and no screens of any kind during the week).
Spirograph says
Interesting how different families do this differently! My kids play video games together, so IMO they’re less isolating than TV with the exception of family movie night. My kids don’t like the same shows, so if they’re watching TV, it’s usually solo (while the others play video games in the next room). My husband administers a Minecraft server for my kids and their neighborhood friends. They have a pretty amazing world going in Creative, collaborate on building rollercoasters, leave presents/messages for each other, trade, etc. He also does “events” where, for example, DH will start a new map, give them a week in Creative mode to build whatever they want, then turn it to Survival at x time and they have to battle the monsters together or whatever.
Other favorite video games are Switch multi-player games like Smash Bros, MarioKart, and Minecraft dungeons that they play together. Even single player video games, usually they take turns and the kids who aren’t playing back-seat drive/help solve the puzzles. They all have their own Hogwarts Legacy character, for example, but since they each picked a different House, the story lines are slightly different and they like to watch each other (or me/DH) play. The level of hugging and rejoicing when someone beats a troll is both adorable and ridiculous.
Anon says
I’m with Spirograph. I love the event idea, that’s so cute.
There was a time when one of my kids could read and the other couldn’t and for one switch game the older one would sit there and read the screen prompts for the younger one as they took turns playing. It was very cute and MUCH more interactive than them watching the same bluey episode for the 100th time.
Anonymous says
Card games, arm wrestling with the good arm (only kinda joking here), gardening? Like digging a little hole and popping in seeds should be doable one handed.
Anon says
will he have good use of his hands? legos sets? mazes? i remember this boy in my elementary school who became obsessed with maze books and then also started creating his own mazes. cooking/baking? when they say he can’t play sports, can he do something like cornhole? or darts? (obviously a kid friendly version). i’d try to avoid the video games if you can for the first few weeks and maybe introduce them if needed as the time goes on
Anon says
Audiobooks and art.
Anon says
Will he have enough dexterity for remote control cars? You can get “monster truck” ones for outdoors if you want to encourage fresh air. We also use “indoor” ones on neighborhood basketball court for a smooth “track”.
Anon says
I know you said no sports, but this might be a good time to learn a few cool tricks like shooting a foul shot or layup one-handed, trying a trick shot in soccer, etc. Seeing how many times he can hit a tennis ball (bouncing it up on the racquet, like those paddles with balls attached). He can feel like he’s still being active, but he’s not at risk at injuring himself further.
Anon. says
This. Pretty sure I learned how to dribble a basketball with my left hand because of a few weeks in a cast during 5th grade. I also distinctly remember using said casted arm to deflect balls while playing soccer at recess which was probably a terrible idea, but no long term consequences.
anon says
I broke my arm twice in middle school. My memory is that, at least for the first few weeks, my arm hurt, and the pain (and maybe the effort of using my left hand all the time) made me extra tired. After school and homework, I was really tired and just wanted to watch TV and movies in bed. I was typically a pretty active kid and social butterfly, so that was not my M.O. I had a Super Nintendo and a Gameboy at home, but what I remember is my mom taking me to Blockbuster on Friday evenings and loading up on movies for the weekend.
Maybe he’ll react differently, but if he just wants to watch TV, this may be the time to let him.
Austin recommendations says
Hi! Looking for recommendations for family friendly restaurants in Austin, Texas or close by. Our family will be there next week (2 kids ages 4.5 and 7) We are staying at the Lost Pines Resort and are also looking to check out downtown and try some good restaurants in the area. Would also love to hear any must do kid friendly activities.
Thanks!
Anon. says
Salt Lick BBQ
Anonymous says
Family faves – Ski Shores on Lake Austin and Hula Hut and Mozarts also on the lake.
Check out Congress Street bat schedule (see bats fly out from bridge) – it is seasonal.
Mount Bonnell is a short hike with views.
Barton Springs pool.
Anony says
Hat Creek Burger Co – giant playground for the kids, which honestly more restaurants should do, and the food is good too.
AustinAnon says
I recommend Meanwhile Brewery for food. It’s on the east side of town, so will be easy for you to get to, and has a huge playground and outdoor space. South Congress is fun for shopping and walking, but I wouldn’t say it’s terribly kid friendly because it gets very busy. Maybe go during the week. If you like live music, there is an outdoor concert every Wednesday evening in Guerro’s oak garden – you can sit outside with a margarita and chips and listen to great Austin music.
I see a lot of people walking around the Capitol with families. The Capitol grounds are nice and kind of cool (but my kids would be bored). I recommend Pheobe’s diner if you want to eat while you’re downtown. It’s near the Capitol, good food, decent for kids, and you’ll be able to find parking easily. People also enjoy walking around Town Lake hike and bike trail.
The Thinkery is our best children’s museum, also on the east side of town, and located in the Mueller development, which has great restaurants, playgrounds, etc. and is generally fabulous for kids. The Bob Bullock museum is the state history museum and also has an iMax theatre.
anon says
My toddler has to do a bowel cleanout. Any creative suggestions for how to get a 2.5 year old to drink 8 cups of liquid in a day? He’s a pretty good drinker but 64oz of liquid is way more than his usual.
TheElms says
Is juice or Pedialyte ok? Prizes for each cup he drinks?
Anon says
Is there any way you can do an enema or something? Getting a 2 year old to drink 64 oz of liquids without throwing it all up seems impossible.
anon says
They wanted to try this before going to an enema (not sure why). He typically drinks about 36 ounces a day, so this is twice as much…
Anon says
I’m assuming it’s Miralax and if so- can be mixed with ANYTHING liquid and can honestly be like 1 cap for every 4 ounces rather than 8.
This is the weekend where no rules apply. Soda, juice, Gatorade are all fair game. Make it fun and with games- cheers, taste test different sodas etc. No limit to screen time.
Go easy on the solid foods.
Anonymous says
Can you ask about low-volume prep?
anon says
It’s for constipation rather than a colonoscopy so I’m not sure if that’s an option or not? I’ll call.
AwayEmily says
Random question, but does anyone have a recommendation for drawing videos on YouTube that aren’t just “here’s how you draw a fox”? Like, ones that are more open-ended and not teaching you to draw a Specific Thing but rather providing prompts and ideas for creative drawing?
(fwiw I actually also really like the “how to draw a fox” style ones, like on Art for Kids Hub, but am looking for alternatives)
Anon says
Outschool? I remember they had some creative drawing classes last time I looked.
TheElms says
Craftsy dot com has drawing classes. I think most are part of the premium membership but that’s usually under $20 with a sale/coupon and its good for a year.
Anonymous says
Try googling drawing prompts for kids
Anonymous says
Sorry didn’t mean this to be snarky, just that the word “prompt” seems to be the magical ingredient for more open-ended activities
AwayEmily says
I did not read it as snarky at all! That’s a great idea (that I should have tried given that I used that word in my comment).