When I was pregnant with both of my kids, I would often buy non-maternity clothes that accommodated my growing waistline — A-line dresses, stretchy tunic sweaters, and empire waist tops. One wardrobe item that became a winter pregnancy essential was the cross back (or open back) sweater. Pre-pregnancy, I always thought these sweaters were a little silly. The open back seemed to defeat the basic purpose of a sweater — staying warm. But, as a twice pregnant person, I saw them with fresh eyes.
You can find many variations of this sweater. (I had a luxe orange cashmere tunic.) Right now, I’m partial to Madewell’s Eastbrook Turtleneck Cross Back Sweater for the cold weather that’s settled in post-holidays.
It has a longer, boxy fit, comes in three easy-to-match colors (I’m torn between Etruscan Clay and Marled Zebra), and has a relaxed, almost cowl-like turtleneck. As your belly (and the opening in the back) grows, just slip on a stretchy cami or shirt underneath. (I like Uniqlo’s Heattech.) Post-baby, it’ll work well for a weekend outing, work-from-home day, or a more casual office.
The sweater is $98 at Nordstrom and is available in XXS though XXL in all three colors. It’s currently on sale at Madewell for $69.99 — with an extra 30% off — but there are only limited sizes in each color. Eastbrook Turtleneck Cross Back Sweater
Building a maternity wardrobe for work? Check out our page with more suggestions along both classic and trendy/seasonal lines.
This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Anonymous says
Glad to have this forum back! Not to start on a low note, but I am struggling today with gray skies and sadness that the city where I live (DC), which is usually tolerable/even fun with kids in the winter because of all the museums, indoor pools, kids theaters, libraries, and fun events has none of that this year. Instead, I am worried, and resentful that I am worried, about violence on Wednesday thanks to Trump and every single person that has enabled and supported him. Any silver linings I am missing?
anon says
I know, we live in the DC suburbs and my twins are now at the age where it would be totally feasible to take the metro in without a stroller, wander around a museum, not worry about getting home in time for nap, etc. and yet none of those things are possible right now. Such a FWP, but still a bummer.
Anon says
I would think any violence is much more likely to occur in areas with lots of Trump supporters than DC.
Can you get outside at all? I’m surprised by how tolerable the pandemic winter has been so far and I think it’s because we’ve been making a big effort to go outside even in wintry weather and do things like sledding and ice skating. Being outside also seems to tire kids out so they sleep more.
TheElms says
We are supposed to get a significant number of protesters. Sufficiently large that the Mayor urged all residents to stay in on Tuesday and Wednesday if possible.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2021/01/03/bowser-dc-trump-supporters-january-6/
TheElms says
The silver lining is that January 20 is soo close. I’m also in DC and it is hard to see the city you love be such a ghost town. The weather is at least supposed to be dry today. What about a walk in Rock Creek Park? My toddler loves sticks, rocks, leaves and can entertain herself that way for 30 min to an hour depending on her mood. The playgrounds are open too (if that’s within your risk tolerance), what about taking a drive to one you don’t normally visit?
Allie says
It all sucks. I second the Rock Creek Park idea – it’s a balm.
Anonymous says
Thanks all for the replies so far- it’s true, one silver lining is the many parks and outdoor spaces we have been visiting! My kids are also perfectly happy running around Roosevelt Island, the arboretum, local park, local riverfront, etc, I guess I’m just the one that misses the indoor options too!
Anonymous says
No it’s not just you. We are an outdoorsy family in MoCo. And yes we love that it’s so easy to be in nature here! But we’re sick of doing almost exclusively outdoor stuff with the kids for 10 months now. We’ve been on a gazillion hikes, walks, played in creeks, gone to all the playgrounds. I just want to take my kids to an indoor play place or the library or open gym at the Rec center. So…I get it. I’m over winter and COVID, but clearly they aren’t over us
anon says
I feel ya. I’m in Arlington and just learned that our public pools are doing “family pod” swim sessions on weekends. They are roping off a section of the giant pools and letting a single family swim per section. It’s a big room with lots of volume and space, with very very few people. We swam this weekend and it felt very safe. We just put sweats over swimsuits and changed at home to avoid the locker room. You might see what your local options might be.
not using usual name for this says
It has been SO GRAY here lately and I hate it.
I’ve been killing time by driving the kids to get treats somewhere far enough away that the youngest falls asleep in the car. Order ahead Sprinkles cupcakes from Georgetown, Duck Donuts from a Northern Virginia location, even drove to Manassas to pick up Krispy Kremes from the drive-thru there out of desperation one morning!
Some of the drive-thru light exhibits are still open this week, I think.
We like to go wander around North Beach, MD. There is a little boardwalk with a paved path next to it that is perfect for toddlers to do balance bikes on, there is an ice cream shop that is usually open, a bakery that’s open until 2 or so on weekends, always available parking, etc. Something about just seeing the water is helpful to me. It’s about an hour drive as well so, again, long enough for a kid to fall asleep and for me to get to listen to a podcast on the way there and back. It’s on the Western Shore so you don’t have to mess with the Bay Bridge.
Anonymous says
FYI, there is a Krispy Kreme in Alexandria if you have another craving
Anonymous says
I’m in NYC and feel similarly, absent the concern about Trump/violence. I read an article recently in the NY Times about the solstice and how traditionally winter was in many places just a time to be survived. I’m leaning into that and giving myself permission not to try to make this time fun or good – we’re just getting through it. I try to appreciate good moments within otherwise boring days, and remember that every day now there will be a little more daylight, and every day we are closer to the end of the pandemic. Making a list of things I am grateful for also helps me.
Anonymous says
Good luck. I saw there was scattered violence last time the Trump crowd came through a couple weeks ago, and this looks like it will be bigger. I hope everything stays calm, but I am really not optimistic, given the rhetoric.
The silver lining is definitely Jan 20, and also at at least it’s not raining anymore? This weekend was a soggy mess — cold and dry is an improvement!
Cb says
Ugh, you guys…full lockdown from midnight tonight. It’s absolutely the right thing to do, but oof… I’m going to apply for part-time furlough, which will likely be denied, but at least points to a systemic problem, especially when other colleagues with young children do the same.
Anon says
So sorry and good luck. I fear the US is going to be in the same boat in a month or two when the new variant becomes widespread here.
Anon Lawyer says
Nah, we’re just going to let people die.
Anon says
Yes and no. We clearly have a higher “let people die” threshold than many countries. But there’s an awareness in blue states and even some red states that when things get to the point of total health system collapse, you have to do something. Scientists in the UK are specifically recommending school closures because this variant appears much more likely to infect and spread among children compared to the original strain. I feel like it’s been such a battle in the US to get school reopenings prioritized (vs other businesses) and it’s only just now that much of the US is going back to school in person, and this new variant is going to blow that up because there actually is some scientific evidence that school openings in particular are more dangerous with the new variant and should be a first step, not a last step.
On the upside, we have significantly more population immunity than the UK since we refused to take any precautions all summer and fall, so hopefully the newer variant won’t have the same rate of growth here. So far there’s no evidence it’s escaping vaccines or immunity acquired after recovering from Covid.
anon says
I’m sorry. :(
Mat leave says
This is my last week of maternity leave (first baby). What are your best tips for returning to work?
Relevant info:
– I work full-time remote (pre-pandemic)
– Baby will be in our (small) home. My parents will watch her the first week, and then my husband and I will juggle our full-time jobs plus childcare until we hire a nanny (we had one lined up – and she backed out Dec 26). We have to pay on the books due to our jobs and that plus Covid childcare shortage = no one yet!
– I’m breastfeeding so will plan to do so whenever possible during the day – otherwise, pumped bottles. Can’t breastfeed on calls bc she is a VERY loud eater at first!
Pogo says
I’m also returning this week! I set up a bunch of 1:1’s with relevant team members, and this morning I sent an “I’m back!” email which was my way of virtually walking around the office to say hi. I’m also going back through my emails to flag stuff to read as prep for my calls, delete junk, file any technical conversations for reference, and to accept recurring invites so they are on my calendar for the future. I’m a really quick email triager though so ymmv on that (it’s 10 a.m. where I am and I only have 253 left – after nearly 18 weeks off; my husband probably has 253 from just last week).
Anonymous says
Wish we could have a c-moms support group or something— I go back Monday! I started listening to this podcast, posted here a few weeks ago, but haven’t finished: https://hbr.org/podcast/2020/12/welcome-back-to-remote-work-new-moms
Pogo says
Yes, I listened to that and it really resonated with me! So far the day is going really well, though it is super weird to have my baby here but not cared for by me. I think when he’s in daycare (end of this month) it’ll feel more normal/real.
I feel lucky that this is my second, so the having a baby part was not too traumatizing. The COVID aspect I still haven’t really wrapped my head around. Other than doctors and immediate family, no one has really ‘met’ my baby.
My team responded so well to my note this morning – I felt very cheered by that.
Anonymous says
My only tip is you need childcare! Is day care open? Can your parents stay longer?
Anon says
+1. When daycares are shut, people will be (semi)-understanding about not having childcare. But if daycares are open in your area, you cannot work while caring for a newborn.
anon says
I really hope that employers will be understanding about not being comfortable with the risk of sending a newborn to group care during a pandemic. Totally not judging anyone who is ok with it, but it’s a very personal choice. Also, if there is a possible exposure at daycare, they could be in the same boat (although with no potential for grandparent or other outside help).
Anon says
But there is no notable risk for children, even newborns. I understand that this is hard for parents (I am one of them!) but if childcare is open you can send in you children, no special treatment required.
Anonymous says
Why would they be? Take more leave or get childcare.
TheElms says
Also, just because daycare is open doesn’t mean there are open spots. OP also said that she is trying to hire a nanny. Daycares are open in my location but at reduced capacity and demand outstrips availability significantly; also for nannies. Also our prior daycare has had to close various rooms because of staff testing positive; each time for 2 weeks at a time per state regulations. If my daughter had been in daycare we would have potentially had 8 weeks of no daycare since March because they have closed 4 times for positive cases. It is just not that simple.
Anon says
If you’re not comfortable with the risks of exposure at daycare then you hire a nanny, find a family member, or leave your job if you decide that’s what’s right for you. OP’s situation is a little different because it’s temporary and, as you note, even people who arrange childcare will have temporary gaps right now, but I don’t agree that employers need to accommodate parents by letting them work indefinitely without childcare. Life is not zero risk and if the risks of daycare are too great for you, you need to figure out another solution that isn’t trying to work full-time while caring for an infant.
Mat leave says
My parents have to leave after a week but can come back (indefinitely) three weeks later if we still don’t have a nanny.
Daycare is not an option (for us) – personal preference plus Covid concerns. Work knows and is understanding.
Totally get that work and newborn care can’t coexist in the same minute! Plan is to coordinate with husband so we each get 4-5 hours during normal business hours, and the rest will be morning/evening/weekend. I’m a morning person so will be up at 4 to start work. And it is definitely a short term solution!!!!!
AnonATL says
I will be a slight voice of dissent here to say that short term, two working parents juggling a newborn is totally doable. Not fun, but doable. My husband and I had to do it with our son who is now 5 months for a couple weeks between when grandparents came for a visit and we started his in-home daycare.
Much like what you say, we took shifts for whoever was on baby duty when baby wasn’t napping and planned it around calls as needed. I also totally nursed and worked on those days, but it’s hard. You gotta find something you only need one hand for.
Good luck returning from maternity leave. I felt like I was forgotten for two weeks after I returned, but people quickly started asking me for things after about a week and I got very busy again. You’ll start feeling normal before you know it
AnonATL says
Oh and one more working and baby care simultaneously tip: embrace all the baby containers. Swings, Baby carriers, whatever to get through. We did loads of baby wearing at our standing desks when kid was cranky and wouldn’t nap properly.
strollerstrike says
Agree with AnonATL, babywearing was key for me. I studied for a bar with a newborn while he slept mostly in the baby ktaan carrier and I bounced on a yoga ball.
New Here says
My maternity leave ended the same week our town’s Safer at Home orders went into effect and my office went remote. We did not send our baby to daycare. We have both worked from home since then and kept her home.
At the beginning it is a bit easier since they nap so much – take advantage of it!
Definitely check with each other’s schedules so that you each get a dedicated chunk of time/can make meetings.
Prioritize what needs to happen during the day vs what you can do “after hours”. For me (not law), it is meetings, materials to the client, etc.
anonamama says
Get your calendar, your husband’s calendar, the baby’s eat/sleep schedule all in the same place to help plan coverage. Go over it the night before. Try to seal the ‘off’ duty parent away from the ‘on’ duty parent so you can get some focused work done. You may be able to do a call while BF with some careful muting (earbuds could help). Pick a low stakes/understanding friend to give it a try. Wear the baby when you can, if you get ambitious, you could take calls while walking/stroller. Set the bar very low and good luck with the nanny search!
Allie says
This. The second a call is scheduled it is put on the shared google calendar and you try to avoid overlapping calls if it all possible. The more that can be done on calendar the less time you have to spend coordinating schedules.
Pogo says
Back from leave today and I feel like such a rookie – was taking off my flanges and spilled milk all over! Little guy is taking the bottle from DH so that’s good, and I’m surprisingly engaged with my work despite being like six feet from the nursery. What a crazy time to do anything, including having a baby.
ElisaR says
good luck Pogo!
Leatty says
Good luck!
Today is also my first day back, but DS is at daycare. It feels so weird to be back at work, especially since I’m working remotely. I think it would be a lot easier to get back into the work mindset if I were actually going into the office. Unfortunately, I fully expect to be working remotely for much of this year.
AnonATL says
Good luck! Hearing the baby cackle with my husband while I’m working is so difficult sometimes. I don’t want to miss a moment. But then after nearly 3 weeks of nonstop baby time, I’m happy to talk to a non-family member adult again.
Anonanonanon says
I got vaccinated last week!! Wanted to share my experience:
I received Moderna, and the shot itself is so not painful I was concerned later that the vaccination and I had been chatting so much that I didn’t get it. Arm a bit sore the next day but not even as bad a flu shot. Around the 36 hour mark I was very very fatigued, I remarked I felt like I do when my body is fighting off a cold which.. duh. It passed by the next day. To my knowledge, I have not had COVID (anecdotally I’ve noticed that people I know who have already had it seem to have more vaccine side effects, I imagine from a stronger immune response)
I noticed the same (fatigue on the second day after) in my husband who was vaccinated a week before me, but thought it was just work/christmas exhaustion at the time.
Anon says
My dad also got the Moderna last week and also said the shot was so not painful that he hoped he actually got the vaccine. Congrats!
anon says
I think part of this may just depend on who is giving it. My state has the National Guard giving out the shot and my husband got his from what he said looked like an 18 year old medic who just jabbed it in his arm like you would an epi pen to a thigh. He found the shot a bit painful but presumed it was from the rookie giving it.
Anon says
So we’ve never had legos in the house and my four year old got a pretty big box full for Christmas. I’m not sure if it’s going to be a thing that sticks or not (my kids have weirdly never been big magnatile builders?) but in case it is, any suggestions for best way to organize and store them? I’m assuming these aren’t the last legos we’ll receive. And I should probably be encouraging them to play with them more right?
Separate question – does anyone have brilliant puzzle storage solutions?
Spirograph says
Do not try to organize. Get a big box, and just put them all in there. Or, you might want to look into a playmat storage bag– lay flat, play with legos on top of the bag, and then just cinch the drawstring to pick them all up at once. You can totally make one yourself, if you’re crafty. My sister made me one for Christmas, at my request. It is amazing.
If you have sets, I put those in big ziplocks while building is in progress, but once they get dismantled again, they just go in with the giant lego pool.
For puzzles, we just stack the boxes in our toy/game closet. Tiny ones that come in bags have one of the bins in our ikea shelf.
Anonymous says
+1 – my son has never had any interest in sorting his legos by size, color, etc, so I don’t fight it. Also mixing sets up encourages more creative play with them rather than just following directions to assemble a build. When he was younger, he was less interested in sets anyway.
anon says
I agree with this. Keeping LEGO stuff sorted is an exercise in futility, IME. The only things that stay separate are the architecture creations that my DS wants to keep in one piece.
Anon says
Yep we have a shelf for current builds to sit, and then a single bin to hold all the bits and pieces (and former builds that have been taken apart). We used to have a policy that they could only have as many builds as the shelf will hold so they’d have to dismantle any older sets when they got new ones. But this year they got some really expensive/elaborate sets like a big Apollo rocket, so we may relax the one-shelf rule when birthdays roll around.
They rarely play with the pre-built sets. They mainly play with the bin of pieces and build their own adventures. But mine were always into free play and no lines, I know other kids are the opposite. (Mine would rather draw on a blank sheet of paper or cut up a bunch of construction paper, rather than any sort of coloring book.)
SC says
My 5 year old has accumulated thousands of Legos in the past year and a half. He resists all attempts at organization or even containment. Right now, the Legos that aren’t part of his “city” are in a long, shallow box. It’s only been a few days, but it seems to be working better than any of the other solutions I’ve tried so far, which include converting the train table to a Lego table (he didn’t like leaning over the raised edge), using multiple small containers (which were dumped, turned upside down, and used as supports for bridges and ramps on his train set), and one of those drawstring bags with a play mat (he claimed it was too complicated for him, but I think he wants the Legos out at all times).
Anon says
I’m sure that the past ten days brought a lot of high highs and low lows for many and I don’t even celebrate Christmas but enjoy living vicariously- so any holiday highlights you’d like to share? Biggest hits with your kiddos? Funny moments?
Snow! says
We had unexpected (this never happens) snow in south central texas where we were renting a home for a week and it was MAGIC. Snowed New Years Eve and there was enough to sled and make snowmen. My kids were thrilled. Woke up like it was Christmas morning all over again the next day and we got to play in it more that morning before it melted. Really, really awesome and totally unexpected.
Cb says
My son (3.5) was so excited. We spent like 3 hours opening presents, and there weren’t very many, but because it was just 3 of us and we rejected all zoom calls, we could play as we opened things. He and my husband got a 00 model railway. We also had snow on Friday and the golf course next door to us served as an excellent sledding hill.
My parents’ presents got delayed in customs so just arrived today. Mom got him a watch and he keeps asking me “what time is it? oh, no, I have a watch!” and looking at it like a little businessman late for a meeting.
Anonymous says
My kiddo received popsicle molds for Christmas, and they’re her favorite thing.
SC says
(1) We bought a Chantilly cake from WF for New Years. 5 yo, who hates fruit, saw the berries between the layers and dead-panned, “Haha, very funny,” as though someone were playing a joke on him by putting fruit in his cake!
(2) Same dinner, we had hamburgers for dinner. As we were setting the table and serving, 5 yo asked, “Can I sit on my bun?” I didn’t really process the question, and DH thought he said “bum,” and was like, “Sure, yeah, sit down, make yourself comfortable.” Two minutes later, DH sees Kiddo pulling his hamburger bun out from beneath his butt. Apparently, he put it there to flatten it so his hamburger would fit in his mouth.
Pogo says
I love that he asked.
Anonymous says
This has me cracking up!!
EP-er says
My daughter (8) came down for virtual school today. She said she didn’t need to brush the back of her hair, because “it is like pajama pants — no one sees it on Zoom!” I helped brush her hair and made her get dressed properly. I swear, my kids are going feral before my very eyes.
Also, I don’t know why, but I keep perpetuating Santa. I was never a big Santa person growing up (youngest of many) but I can’t quite bring myself to tell the truth to my 12 year old. I mean, I know he knows and all but… this year he opened his Santa present and was amazed & laughing and saying “He must be real!” Gosh, I just hope he doesn’t tell his friends….
Pogo says
12, omg! My 3yo was very invested in Santa and we even zoomed Santa, where he was majorly starstuck and forgot all the questions he wanted to ask. It was so precious to see him open his gifts and recall his chat with Santa – “The elves DID finish making it!”
EP-er says
I mean, he has to know, right? But I kind of love making the magic last….
At three, we weren’t even really doing Santa. It was probably kindergarten before we started. I love that you were able to zoom with Santa! That is so 2020. :)
SC says
I knew and played along for years when I was a kid. I actually suspected when I was 6 and saw my dad making Barbie’s Dream House, which turned out to be from Santa. I stopped believing altogether when I was 7 or 8, and my mom used the same wrapping paper for Santa gifts and grandma gifts (both of which were received at grandma’s house on the same day). At first, I was scared to tell my mom I didn’t believe anymore because it seemed important to her that I believe in Santa. That evolved into playing along because I realized it was fun for everyone to keep up the illusion. At some point, it became more obviously tongue in cheek. We never had a whole “I don’t believe in Santa anymore” conversation that I can remember. We skipped a lot of conversations in my family though.
Anonymous says
I was nursing the toddler when my daughter (3) woke up, so I could see her come out of the room and look in wonder when she saw that Santa came. She was so excited.
Also, we made a cake on NYE, put candles in it and sang happy birthday to the new year (DD’s idea). We’re going to keep it as a tradition.
EP-er says
I love the idea of a birthday cake for the year!
Anon says
I don’t celebrate Christmas either, but I had 3 weeks off work and it was really wonderful. We took a driving trip to a Florida rental house on the beach for the first week. The 12 hour drive there was better than I anticipated and we got really lucky with the weather there – the first few days it was warm enough for ocean swimming (we even saw stingrays) and after that it was chillier but still nice enough for long walks and stuff like that, which we can’t do at home this time of year. My preschooler (who had mostly stopped napping before this) took really long naps every afternoon and I spent hours on the balcony reading and looking out at the ocean. Hopefully next year we will be able to resume our regular winter tradition of going to a resort in the Caribbean, but this was a surprisingly good approximation. Then my parents came and stayed with us for two weeks, the first time we’ve seen them since our kid went back to daycare in July. It was such a joy to spend so much quality time with them, especially for our child who just adores them. Then yesterday morning they left and I was sad (we won’t see them again until they’re vaccinated and who knows when that will be), but we woke up to a beautiful snowfall and took our kiddo sledding for the first time, which she and I both loved.
The last 10 months have been so hard, we’ve done nothing in person except daycare and seen no one outside our household except my parents, and this break was restorative enough that I feel like I can continue on at least until summer when hopefully things will be better (due to the availability of more outside activities, if nothing else).
Anonymous says
Big thank you to whomever mentioned the KAI “my first knife” a couple weeks back. We got one for my 4 year old for Christmas, and he loves it. Any time someone mentions food, its “will my knife cut that? Can I help?”
He helped me make ants on a log on Christmas day, and he’s been telling everyone that he got a knife and celery for Christmas.
Little Monkey says
Lord help – how long does the climbing phase last? We are in full lockdown and my 17 months old is climbin on EEEEVERYTHING, it makes WFH without childcare even more impossible than it was a few months ago.
Any advice?
Clementine says
They start falling in a less terrifying way around 2.25.
Clementine says
OH! And I had to use a nylon strap (like the type you would use to strap a kayak to the roof of a car) to tuck all the chairs in at the table, then strap them all together so kiddo couldn’t pull them out.
This became necessary when the then 18-20 month old decided their favorite habit was climbing on the dining room table and using our tasteful light fixture as a tetherball set up. Generally useful for kiddos who learn to climb up chairs in general though.
Pogo says
Agree. The 3yo still does a lot of climbing, but he knows it’s wrong, at least, so he attempts to do it less? We give him appropriate things to use for climbing, like a learning tower, which helps. And yes, they get less clumsy, more like adults past the toddler age.
TheElms says
My 19 month old is the same. The only thing I’ve found to work is either to make the space safe to climb in/on by padding the floor and corners or make a space with nothing to climb.
strollerstrike says
My kid is the same. It is hard. The blogger Lily Pebbles rented a whole soft play playground for her living room including ball pit (just for a day or so) and it looked so amazing. She is in London UK, unfortunately I couldnt find anything around here but one can dream.
Anon says
I caught my 3 year old on her tip toes on top of the credenza to get a basket on top of the mantle just last week….and hanging like a monkey on the outside of the stairs 6 steps up (partially open staircase) the week before. I will say her athletic ability has (mostly) caught up with her daring, so at least there’s that?
I feel you says
Ha, I’m sorry! My kiddos are climbers. Climbing on furniture just turns into climbing trees when they are bigger.
IS he or she climbing out of the crib yet? That’s the worst thing about having kids who like to climb! My friends tell me their three year olds happily stay in their cribs. My older two were climbing out before 2 (to be fair, older taught younger what to do) :/ My youngest doesn’t seem quite so vertically inclined so fingers crossed she’ll stay in a bit longer.
Anon says
Get something safe for child to climb on. At that age, and even now a year later my twins love their fisher price slide. It’s like $30 and best money I’ve spent. We live in an apartment and it doesn’t take up that much space and they are happy going over and over and over again. My only regret is not purchasing it sooner
fallen says
Can anyone recommend any books on management/running your own team/etc? I have gone from being a grad student to an academic job where I am starting my own lab and managing grad students/research coordinators/teaching assistants/etc, and I have never learned any management skills/etc. Any book recs (or even advice) would be very much appreciated!
avocado says
It’s old and corny, but when I was first starting out as a manager I enjoyed the book It’s Your Ship.
Here’s what I’ve learned over the years: Your job is to make sure your people have everything they need to do their jobs. You are their advocate. Maintain regular individual communication with each employee, including casual chats. Be fair and aboveboard. If there’s a performance problem, make a collaborative plan with the employee to solve it. Don’t blindside anyone with anything. Don’t expect the job to be the most important thing in their lives. Give credit where credit is due, including primary authorship as appropriate.
avocado says
And from an administrative perspective–develop good working relationships with people in the know in accounting and grants management.
Anon says
Get a copy of At the Helm: Leading Your Laboratory. It’s 10 years old, but still outlines a lot of the things you should think about when starting your own lab, including some of the management pieces that are unique to academic life.
And congrats on landing a (presumably) tenure-track position!
Anon says
Congrats on the TT job!
Fallen says
Thanks to all! And yes I am so beyond thankful to have landed a TT position esp with how the job market is now, just want to make the best of it and be a good boss/mentor.
Anon says
I recommend reading Ask A Manager to learn about managing. It helps a lot! I have never managed a lab, but have managed a lot of other things. A couple things I have found important are:
Be yourself (professionally) – let people know a bit about you. I am not one who shares and I have learned to do it and it helps.
You do not need to treat everyone the same. That isn’t being “fair.” Approach each person as a person with distinct needs/interests. I had a boss that wouldn’t let anyone work from home because he didn’t trust that some people wouldn’t do well remotely. It was terrible, especially for our retiring employee who was super reliable but had a long commute. I wanted to let her WFH a few days per week for her last six months, but he said no (this was years ago. Now we all WFH).
anon says
Mask help — I am having a hard time finding masks that fit my 11-year-old well. Many of the child-size masks are too small — they move around a lot when he talks — and adult sizes are huge. He also is very hard on his masks and tends to chew on the inner liner when he’s stressed, so I’d prefer to buy a cheap multipack and be done with it. Any suggestions? I have spent so much money on ill-fitting masks. Ugh.
Anonymous says
They are not cheap, and you have to be careful about the fabric selection because some are loosely woven, but the Proper Cloth masks in size small are the only masks that fit my tween.
Anon says
I’m guessing you’ve already tried Old Navy and Target for cheap multipacks? What about the Athleta everyday ones (either AthletaGirl or the adult ones–the adult ones are smaller than many adult masks). The VistaPrint ones aren’t cheap, but I find the kids ones run large or you could maybe try the adult smalls.
Pogo says
+1 I love the Athleta adult masks.
Anonymous says
We really like Lands End kids’ masks. They fit my 8 year old well, but it looks like they’re one-size… might be ok on an older kid, too?
anon says
Not really cheap, but I bought some sized masks from https://www.etsy.com/shop/ButtonsMaskBoutique.
Anon says
Maybe not as environmentally friendly but have you tried disposable?
Anonymous says
Adult-sized disposable masks only fit very large adult men.
Anon says
There are child-sized disposable masks. I’m not sure where to buy them but my kid’s daycare has them so they exist.
anon says
Amazon and Target both have them. I haven’t tried them myself but have friends who say they fit their young kids far better than any cloth ones.
Anonymous says
Both kiddo and I had a couple that were too big. I put a stitch in each side to close them together a bit more. I am very sewing challenged, but it worked. This is the most sewing I’ve done in probably 10 years. Maybe you could do that?
anon says
I might try to put in a pony bead that could be adjusted. Wish me luck. I am completely non-crafty but hoping this will save at least a few of them.
Anonymous says
A pony bead on the elastic will actually make the mask gap more at the sides. You need to take a small tuck in the fabric on each side to gather in the excess fullness. It is really, really easy.
anon says
Two ideas for you – 1. use this mask “hack” to make disposable masks smaller: https://www.today.com/health/how-make-mask-fit-better-how-wear-surgical-mask-t189236. I have a very small head/face and it works really well for me.
2. Target sells “Just Play” disposable kids face masks in two sizes. Maybe try the larger sized ones? https://www.target.com/p/just-play-kid-39-s-face-mask-l-24pc/-/A-80233598#lnk=sametab
GCA says
What about Uniqlo small or medium masks? I am small of face and medium works well on me; my 5yo says the small is too big on him. Either size might work for your tween. They’re a tech fabric of sorts and come in inexpensive multipacks.
Anonymous says
They aren’t super cheap, but my favorite masks are from vistaprint. The adult small (which I ordered by mistake) fit my tween niece very well. They have space for a filter – which I think helps with the mask chewing because it keeps it off the face (at least this works for my 4 YO who has the vistaprint kids ones). I get the cheap filters from amazon, not the vistaprint filers which seam oddly expensive and don’t fit the masks well. They run about 13-15 dollars. I have only ever gotten the “ready to ship” masks – and they come in about a week.
Anon says
Daycare finally got with the times and decided we only have to wash the bedding weekly! Hallelujah for small victories and less laundry.
Anonymous says
I interviewed for a job last year as COVID sent us all into lockdown and the company froze hiring. The job is now open again and they reached out to me about it. I’m still interested but just found out I’m pregnant (6 weeks so still super early). Any thoughts/experiences on when to tell the company about the pregnancy in the hiring process?
anon says
Get the offer and then negotiate for maternity leave since you won’t qualify for FMLA.
Anon says
Ask tomorrow for more responses, but I would say to disclose and negotiate for leave after you get an offer. Some people will probably tell you not to disclose at all but you won’t be FMLA eligible and I would want to make sure I would get at least 12 weeks of leave before accepting the job. The job offer process also typically takes a month or more so your pregnancy should be more advanced by then. Congrats on both counts!