Everyone Thursday: Marching Wedge

My child started kindergarten yesterday! Never mind that he’s been going to preschool/daycare for years, it was an emotional moment for me. And I teared up when I read NewMomAnon’s post yesterday where her child said “I be happy at daycare”. May all our babies be happy at their daycares and schools and preschools! That is all.

I’m two months post partum and have an extra ten pounds hanging around my mid section. Anyone have any recommendations for shapewear that may help me hide it a little? TIA!

Looking for outside opinions on if I’m being completely unreasonable with my husband…

I’m on leave with a 2 week old and a 3 year old. 3 year old goes to daycare 8-12 3x/week. Husband took a week of PTO when the little one was born and had been working a light schedule (full day but WFH so no commute time, or drops our 3 y/o at daycare (normally my job) on his way to work and comes home around 5) for week 2. Next week is normal schedule but he took Friday off since its daycare vacation week and daycare is closed all next week.

When he’s home, he’s (IMHO) pretty useless. He’s always tired, or frantically catching up on emails etc that he would typically be dealing with at work but left early.

I want him to (and have asked) him to own dealing with dinner on days he’s coming home early- and those nights have been utter failures (eggs for the toddler, cereal for me, a few hot dogs for DH). The only way he can be useful for dinner is if I already plan and buy things for the meal.

He goes to bed at 9:30 when I do, and because he works, he doesn’t get up to help with baby. Fine, and what I agreed to. BUT he’s cranky, complains that he’s tired, and doesn’t do anything useful like empty the trash, pick up any of the disaster around the house, or God forbid make coffee in the AM.

I have to leave detailed lists for him to go through and even then, he doesn’t do half the things (“before bed make lunch for ODD” next morning: “oh i didn’t know what to make so I didn’t do that.”). Or I leave breast milk I pumped at 4am on the bathroom counter with a note that says “fridge pls” for him to take to the fridge when he wakes up at 5:30am…and its still there (but moved!!!) at 7 when I wake up (“I didn’t know that note was for me”–who the f else would be using our master bathroom?!). Or use up all the milk and eggs and b*tch that we have none, but don’t put it on a list anywhere, or play with the older kid while I make dinner, and make a HUGE mess that never gets cleaned up.

I’m just…ugh. I know I’m hormonal and sleep deprived but if I were leaving DH home alone with two littles, I’d be leaving him in much better shape.

(1) am I being unreasonable and
(2) if no, how can I better communicate what I need him to do so he does it?

FWIW, he’s a VP/department head type with a stressful, but not 80+ hour a week job. I get that work is important, and that he can’t take a ton of leave (though his company does
Offer 3 paid weeks of pat leave + he has 3-4 weeks of vaction/year that he hadn’t used). But when he is home, I really need more.

I was on the verge of a childcare crisis. My beloved daycare is only open until 5:30, but my workday doesn’t technically end until 5:30. I had gotten reluctant permission to leave a few minutes early to leave, but it was one of those things that would really not have worked out long term. I was ready to switch him to a daycare that I really didn’t like, but at least it was open until 6.

I realized the other day that one of my kid’s favorite daycare teachers, who works until close, walks past my office on her way home. One quick conversation later, she’s going to be making a couple extra bucks a week for very minimal work (she’s happy), I don’t have to worry that I’m going to miss pickup every day (I’m happy) and kiddo gets time with his favorite teacher and a less stressed out mom (so baby is happy)!

I just wanted to share this magical moment with all of you. Also, I think it’s a solution that might possibly work for someone else, and if so- would highly recommend.

Just returned from maternity leave for #2 and was transferred to a different team. I thought it was for more of a leading role in this department, but new boss told me he didn’t think i was right for that position so I’m basically doing the same job I was doing before but with longer hours, more work and a less friendly boss however possibly good growth potential if i lean in and kick b*tt here. I’ve had it this week. Tons of stuff going on outside of work and toddler got Hand/Foot/Mouth so I’m running on zero sleep. I’m totally at a breaking point today. I feel like I need to decide if I should put my head down and “Lean In” at this job since it is my new chance, or throw my hands up and say I can’ do this and start looking for something else with more flexibility and less growth potential. How long would you give it here before you essentially gave up? I can’t decide if I’m just having a bad week or if this job is unsustainable.

x-posted from main site

Treating myself to a new bag at Kate Spade (I like the aesthetic) but overwhelmed by options.

I need a cross body bag with a full zip closure that’s big enough to hold 8.5 x 11 files/papers – i don’t mind if the zipper has to be open to fit the files. Prefer vertical orientation for files. I need a cross body strap so I have both hands free to handle daycare pick up. I’d love to find something in pebbled leather so toddler scratches won’t show.

Any suggestions?