This is a pretty bracelet that combines a traditional tennis bracelet look with a trendy bolo sliding closure. I like how the CZ stones are small and it’s appropriate for everyday wear. I also like that the look is not overly costume-jewelry and that it’s nice for layering with other bracelets. Also, the price is right at $58. This bracelet by Shashi is available at Shopbop. Cubic Zirconia Tennis Bracelet
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Sales of Note…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – The Half-Yearly Sale has started! See our thoughts here.
- Ann Taylor – $50 off $150; $100 off $250+; extra 30% off all sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off purchase
- Eloquii – 60% off all tops
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off “dressed up” styles (lots of cute dresses!); extra 50% off select sale
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything; 60% off 100s of summer faves; extra 60% off clearance
- Loft – 40% off tops; 30% off full-price styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Talbots – 25-40% off select styles
- Zappos – 28,000+ sale items (for women)! Check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kid shoe brands on sale.
Kid/Family Sales
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off kids’ camp styles; extra 50% off select sale
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off summer pajamas; up to 50% off all baby styles (semi-annual baby event!)
- Carter’s – Summer deals from $5; up to 60% off swim
- Old Navy – 30% off your order; kid/toddler/baby tees $4
- Target – Kids’ swim from $8; summer accessories from $10
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon says
Good morning! Today’s off to a great start. I already snapped at my husband for reading twitter instead of helping me pick up around the house for five minutes. Deep breath.
Pogo says
It’s ok, my two year old picked up on the fact that we’re not going into the office and demanded to stay home and play instead of going to his babysitter’s house. For a full ten minutes, he screamed “I NO GO TO [babysitter]’S HOUSE TODAY!” to the point of twin snot rivers pouring down his face, refused of course any tissue intervention or hugs. Continued throughout the struggle to get his shoes and jacket on.
Of course when we got there and he saw the two other kids he perked up immediately. But that tantrum, omg. It had to be in his top 5 ever in terms of length of pure screaming. I partially blame DH for still being in his pjs, because he was up since 5:30 talking to Asia and hadn’t showered yet. So of course kiddo was all “Daddy not in his clothes, daddy in his jammies?? Daddy no go work??” Ugh. I have been showering and dressing at least in jeans for this very reason.
Spirograph says
Right there with you. Deep breaths for everyone!
Telco Lady JD says
I frequently contemplate tossing my husband’s electronic devices that have Twitter downloaded onto them into the toilet.
Anon says
Same
Anon says
I have the opposite. DH is a SAHD and has been doing more around the house because I’m able to supervise kiddo for short stints between my calls (work is otherwise slow) so he can do things without interference. That and me using my former commuting time to do the chores I usually ignore and our house hasn’t been this clean since before we had a kid!
Boston Legal Eagle says
How is everyone taking time for their mental health these days? Obviously this is a crisis so not the circumstances anyone would have chosen, but right now I can feel my mental health suffering by having to watch two small kids mostly inside (husband is bearing the brunt but he still needs to get a few hours of work done during the a day) while not being able to get help due to social distancing.
avocado says
Les Mills On Demand, yoga, Headspace, walking the dog, and a structured daily schedule that includes exercise and alone time for each member of the family. And this is the time to relax restrictions on screen time. For my kid, that means more screen time but only after school hours end, because screen time early in the day turns her into a whiny slug for the rest of the day.
My neighbor who homeschools her three small children sends them out in the yard by themselves for long periods and takes them all on a bike ride at 5:00 p.m. every day.
anon says
I don’t know if this helps, but we’ve been entertaining ourselves with activities. Yesterday the kids were super excited for a photo scavenenger hunt–their enthusiasm made me really happy.
Today our neighborhood listserve has decided to hang shamrocks in windows so the kids are doing that and later today we’ll go on a shamrock hunt. Everyone is looking forward to this.
My husband has also started some home improvement projects. It’s making me happy already to think of these projects being done. Last weekend we spent the weekend gardening (pulling weeds) and its great to see our yard looking better already.
Anonymous says
Anon, if you are in Brooklyn we live in the same neighborhood! I think someone in my hood copied this shamrock idea from another town though.
I’m struggling with the fact that I now have less free time. I used to have 2 hours of commuting time to read, and at least this week, I’m trying to work full-time from home with no childcare while my husband is at work. So those hours are now kid-focused.
So far, my only plan is to keep exercising in the morning before son gets up rather than making that work time, making sure we get outside for walks/bike rides, and just accepting I will be less productive at work. Thankfully I think this will be okay, as we’re entering what is usually a slower period for me at work, and I actually can do a lot more remotely than most of my colleagues. So I’m hoping I will still look adequate by comparison.
anon says
Not in Brooklyn, so I think the shamrock idea has gone viral. It’s simple and fun, so I can see it being popular.
Anon says
It’s definitely gone viral, it was posted on NextDoor in my small Midwest suburb.
EP-er says
I”m doing as much fresh air & exercise as I can. I had a brutal day yesterday — 7 hours of interviews with a 30 minute break in the middle. By the time I made some follow up calls, it was 4:30. I rounded up the kids for a walk… and it started to rain. I *needed* that walk. So we put on our rain boots and slickers and went anyway. And I went for a run by myself later. This morning more interviews from 7-10…so at 10 I took a break and did some cosmic kids yoga with the kids. It was good for me to reset and they are still out there doing more stories.
On of the moms offered to do a barre class at the park while the kids play this afternoon. I am tempted, but don’t want the kids on the playground equipment. I might o if the kids just play kickball or chalk or something away from the equipment.
Pogo says
Streaming yoga and workout videos at lunch. I would go running if it weren’t snowing out. Trying to limit my own screentime (News and F@cebook) for my mental health. I’m in a local moms group that is helpful to find out if Store X is out of toilet paper, but it’s also filled with 20+ posts a day by SAHMs complaining about having their kids home from school and having collective freakouts about the pandemic. So I try to do a quick scan in the morning and at night, and avoid during the day.
Also texting constantly in a group text with my girlfriends. We’re trying to share non-coronavirus stuff, like pictures of our home improvement or interior design projects. They’re mostly in the Bay Area so it’s even more intense for them.
Work is actually a bright spot in that it’s surprisingly business as usual just everyone remote, so catching up with colleagues and venting about normal work drama is a nice break, oddly enough!
anon for this says
I am sure I will get flamed for this but my husband and I have made a list of pandemic apocalyptic movies to watch after this kids go down. We have made it through “contagion” so far but there are lists out there on the internet. We can never agree on what to watch but we are united in this.
I have also found it somewhat useful to think about the global health crises that folks are facing every day (lack of access to drinking water, for example, was something my prayer app talked about yesterday). COVID is incredibly scary (I am worried for my older parents and all vulnerable people here, and the economy tanking while my husband is out of a job) but it is still not the scariest thing to contemplate.
lala says
I made myself a schedule today that includes when I can check news and social media. I’m having my husband keep me accountable to putting my phone down by 8pm every night. No more news/social media before bed will hopefully help me get to sleep at a decent time without my head spinning with worry. The constant checking was driving me a bit crazy.
We have in our schedule to take a walk from 11:30-12:30 every day, so I am doing that and then yoga sometime throughout the day.
SC says
I am doing yoga in the mornings before everyone wakes up. I’m still going into the office, and DH is home with Kiddo, so when I get home, I’m trying to lean into time with Kiddo (and maybe get some outside time in) while DH cooks, then do the dishes after dinner. After Kiddo is in bed, I’m reading more, then getting lots of sleep.
CHL says
I purposefully am working 60% this week and next so that I can have some time to read, exercise and not stress out about being off the clock. I know that for me, having structure helps me stay sane.
AnonATL says
Another fluffier non-corona question for the experienced moms out there… Post-partum care kits. Did you build one? What were your absolute must have items? Did you include items that would be helpful for a c-section if you were trying to deliver v—nally or vice versa? What did you do with leftovers (e.g. you didn’t need those incision care items because you didn’t have a c-section)?
I’ve seen plenty of lists floating around the internet, but what is actually helpful? If the current trend of medical and personal care supply disruptions continue, I want to get the necessities only.
Anon says
I was a planned C. I didn’t really build a kit? I thought through where I wanted to sleep (downstairs in a recliner for two weeks so it would be easier to get up – my mom slept downstairs with me and DD who was in the PNP bassinet or napper), made sure I had pads for the usual all delivery bleeding and plenty of tylenol and advil to transition off of the heavy duty meds, and then ended up ordering some gauze squares and ABD pads because my incision separated a bit so I “oozed” (technical term) for a few weeks as it slowly healed. I found that my maternity yoga pants did not irritate my incision, so I ordered two more pairs once I got home.
Anonymous says
I bought a few items for v delivery and ended up having a c-section. I gave everything I didn’t end up needing (still in sealed packaging) to a co-worker who delivered a few months after I returned to work. (We’re close, but not close enough to talk about whether she used the numbing spray someone recommended to me– I told her she was welcome to the stuff I had and if she didn’t need it, pass it on to someone else)
Leatty says
I bought some stuff in advance and had my husband buy the rest. I had a v-delivery (with stitches), and ended up needing pads, Tucks, lots of Dermoplast, a peri bottle, and Colace.
Jeffiner says
I had a 2nd degree tear, and the Tucks cooling pads were the greatest thing ever. I preferred depends over maxi pads at first, although after the first few days a maxi pad was enough. I only used ice packs in the hospital, not at home. The hospital gave me a spray bottle to clean with, but I had some iodine at home to keep it sterile. I think I only took stool softener for a couple of days. I had a lot of other stuff just-in-case, but never used it.
ALC says
YMMV but my hospital provided most of the things I needed immediately after my v-delivery — peri bottle, tucks pads, analgesic spray, big pads, ice packs, etc. Once I got home I got more normal-sized pads. Having comfy clothes for the recovery period was good. Advil and Tylenol are good to have on hand, along with Colace.
Anonymous says
The only thing I got to take home from the hospital was the peri bottle.
anon says
+1, my friend told me to take everything that wasn’t bolted down (since insurance was going to be charged for it anyway), so I took extras of everything, especially the mesh undies and huge pads.
Anon Lawyer says
The nurses told me that too. I even took the plastic tubs they were storing things in. They said they’d just throw them away otherwise.
Anon says
I didn’t build a kit. My hospital gave me everything I needed – the mesh underwear, the squirt bottle, big pads, witch hazel pads, prescription Colace and Tylenol with Codeine (I’m allergic to ibuprofen), etc. The one thing they didn’t give me was a numbing spray and that was because my doctor doesn’t recommend it’s use. I did without because I was really only sore for a couple days, but I could have easily ordered that off Amazon. I had bought adult diapers in advance but preferred the hospital mesh underwear. I had a v-delivery and third degree tear, fwiw.
Pogo says
I bought the recommended stuff for a v-delivery (which happened, w/ 2 degree tear + stitches) and did not end up making “padsicles” so I have a big thing of aloe vera gel that never got used. I did still use the witch hazel in my sitz bath (free from the hospital), the numbing spray, the tucks pads, and the Depends. I did not need the extra giant long overnight always . I went from Depends for like 3 days to regular ol’ always w/ wings. I was able to exchange one package but had stupidly opened the other and used like 1 pad so I still have a bunch of those. I did use the perineal ice packs I bought because I had really bad swelling. I had my inlaws buy me prepH because I had not anticipated hemorrhoids, so maybe grab that just in case.
On mesh undies vs depends I think it’s such a personal preference I don’t know that you know beforehand. Can’t hurt to buy the Depends because they will give you the mesh undies + giant pads at the hospital for sure. If you love those instead you can steal a bunch when you leave.
I actually liked the cortisone foam that the hospital gave me to put in my pads more than the tucks (tucks felt too… wet?). I will plan to steal double that next time. I believe it is Rx only.
Anon says
Frida mom makes an awesome peri bottle that is SO much better than the hospital one. It’s like a spa. Worth every penny. Hospital gave most of what I needed but I had a pack of @lways silouhette (the one Lisa Rinna did a commercial for) that I ended up liking way more than the mesh + pad combo. Also, if you’re a planner/prepper type, more pads than you think you’ll need ranging from overnight – pantyliner, in small quantities so you have a range at your disposal and can buy more of what you need. Good luck!
Anon Lawyer says
I didn’t need that peri bottle because I had a c section but I was gifted one and now it’s my backup plan if I run out of TP on quarantine.
Anonymous says
Most of the stuff I needed came from the hospital. The only thing I had on my own were some heavy duty pads. I also had some large, forgiving underwear ready to go, but I had been wearing those already at night while pregnant. They were nice to transition into after the hospital-issued ones. I was an unplanned c-section. After the hospital, pads and Motrin were my only “recovery” items. Other supplies included comfy, easy nursing clothing, food, and that glorious hospital-issued water bottle/jug.
I received a prescription for narcotic pain relievers (which I had been receiving in the hospital as standard practice). My husband filled it, but I never used it. And then it was a pain to get rid of them later. I’d recommend a wait and see attitude in that regard if you have a pharmacy close by.
Anonymous says
Edit: I totally forgot about the stool softeners. I think my hospital sent me home with Colace, and I bought another box, too. Warm liquids were helpful for that, too.
Anonymous says
What I actually used: frida peri bottle (hospital gives you a regular one though), dermaplast & tucks pads (didn’t really need but I had bought ahead of time so I used), pads (you bring home some + disposable underwear from the hospital), earth mama nipple balm (because lanolin will stain your shirts). Honestly with pads I bough them online and they were these ginormous kotex pads that were like two feet long and felt so gross to use that I switched to lighter ones right away. I know a lot of people recommend diapers but you’re supposed to pee a lot postpartum to help your uterus contract and expel stuff. It seems like it would be a pain to have to take off your pants each time instead of just changing a pad.
The only thing I wish I had bought sooner was My Brest Friend nursing pillow.
lsw says
Adult diapers, stool softeners, and bendy straws for drinking while lying down/BFing were the only things I would consider 100% essential. The adult diapers I used functioned exactly like regular underwear so I’m not sure why you would have to take off your pants?
Anonymous says
You would need to take off your pants to change them, right? Unless you want to sit in the mess.
Anon says
My plan: I ordered a package of 8 one-time use panties from FridaMom before I delivered, and planned on ordering what I would need for postpartum after figuring out how delivery went. As I ended up needing a C-section, I didn’t need all of the aftercare items for a v- delivery.
The hospital provided me with a lot of mesh panties that were actually better than the FridaMom version. Between those and the FridaMom, I used about 20 after I left the hospital. My C-section scar got a hematoma behind it and bled (not a huge concern), and I used a pantyliner on the front of my panties to soak up the blood. Between that and light but constant lochia, I ran out of pantyliners.
Jeffiner says
Do you plan to breastfeed? If so, get some lanolin. Maybe even one box of formula, just in case the breastfeeding doesn’t go as planned?
KatieWolf says
I didn’t build a kit but this was what I ended up with (v delivery, 2 degree tear): Depends disposable underwear, then to overnight maxis, then regular, then panty liners. Frida Mom peri bottle. LOTS of dermoplast. And bedside snacks- trail mix, goldfish, granola bars.
Anon says
I’ll just add that I really liked the Soothing Gel Nursing Pads from Lansinoh. For me, much more helpful than ointments or creams.
Anonymous says
How are lawyers in small/ mid-size firms dealing with social distancing and getting work? My firm just started working from home yesterday, and I expect most of my work will be done by the end of the week. Courts have suspended most civil matters, so I don’t have a lot to do on litigation projects. Most clients are consumed with outbreak-related work that does not require legal advice, and I expect that to continue for the foreseeable future.
I don’t want to be another voice contributing to chaos based on rumors, but a family member who is a HCW said her organization is planning for the current recommendations to be in place until at least May. I know my firm has a cushion, but I don’t think it anticipates significant work slowdown for two plus months. I’m senior enough to not worry about layoffs, but the thought has crossed my mind.
anon says
Yup. Biglaw here, in a very niche practice and I, uh, suddenly have nearly nothing to do. It doesn’t help that I’ve been back from maternity leave for less than a month. The concern is not just this immediate time, but all the economic ripples that will take months or years to play out. I fully anticipate layoffs, no bonuses, etc. My firm did a program in ’08 where it paid 1/3 salary for a year to basically make associates go away. Am very curious to see if that repeats, as it was definitely framed as an experiment at the time. I am too senior for that myself. For the moment my support staff is okay — my beloved secretary is fully paid at home without remote access — but I worry about her and the rest of them.
Anon says
May seems really optimistic. I work for a university and our admin says a best case scenario is opening to in-person classes in August 2020. Most people seem to think we’ll be shut until sometime in calendar year 2021. I am sure there will be mass layoffs of staff and non-tenure track faculty.
Anonymous says
All the graphs I’ve seen based on models by real scientists have the peak between June and August, regardless of the underlying assumptions and modeled interventions.
Extra anon for this says
Imperial College of London released a study today demonstrating what most epidemiologists would tell you, which is that that the measures are only effective as long as they are in place, and to truly significantly slow transmission and maintain a somewhat-functioning healthcare system they need to be in place until there is a vaccine. Which is about 18 months from now….
Anon says
Yep, without interventions this would probably peak in early summer. But the lockdowns are designed to avoid the peak from happening so soon. We’re not going to totally eliminate the virus this way, just reduce the load, stretch out the rate at which people get sick so hospitals don’t get overloaded. I fully expect this “new normal” to last for 12-18 months. There’s hope for a vaccine by fall 2021 and I’m not optimistic about my children returning to school or me returning to work before then.
Anonymous says
If the virus doesn’t kill me, homeschooling for a year will.
Anon says
in what geography are you located? i am staff at a top tier private university and now you have me anxious
Anonymous says
I am at a Midwest public and expect possible shortened contracts for staff but not mass layoffs.
Anon says
What type of work do you do? I’m in a Plaintiff’s firm and we were SLAMMED leading up to this so I have tons of work I can still do. I don’t say that to brag but because if I keep working from home I might make work for you defense lawyers. I’ll still be filing lawsuits and sending demand letters.
I’m not saying there won’t be economic repercussions but us Plaintiff people are always playing catch up.
Knope says
The head of my small firm (26 attorneys) put together a presentation for us right as we were transitioning to WFH showing us that the firm had enough funds to make payroll for everyone for a full year even if our revenue was slashed in half for that year. Of course, I wondered what happens if our revenue is slashed by more than half, but that seems unlikely given the nature of our work (niche regulatory practice that involves, at minimum, emergency counseling that isn’t going to go away unless all of our clients completely fold). Still makes me nervous, but I don’t feel the need to contingency plan yet.
Anon Lawyer says
Well and also, what about the partner draws? What kind of cuts will they make to avoid slashing those by too much?
Anon Lawyer says
I’m still on maternity leave but I work in a niche regulatory practice. I’m expecting work to come to a standstill while this goes on and then to be low for some time to come. A lot of what we do can be put off or will be put off if the government slows down (and since the agency we primarily practice at is 100% telework it likely will). I’m pretty terrified tbh.
Anxious Anon says
I work for a midsize to big firm (160ish lawyers), and our managing partner said we have enough to pay everyone “for now” but we need to stay productive to make sure that doesn’t change. So, yeah, I picked a bad time to stop therapy for anxiety…..
Ms B says
I have volunteered to help out on the virus response team dealing with clients that I normally deal with on non-emergency matters. It is keeping me busy and giving me hours to bill.
Anon says
My 3 month old caught the flu from me and his sister. He’ll only sleep being held by me and spits out tylenol and tamiflu. Any suggestions to keep him comfortable? On top of that, maternity leave ends next week, but daycare is closed and DH can’t WFH (yet…)
Help? Commiseration?
rakma says
There are acetaminophen suppositories, I’ve found them in the baby/kid section of my CVS. That or the munchkin medicine dispenser with a nipple attached to the measuring cup were the only ways to get medicine into my kids when they were that little.
I wish I had advice for the rest, this is a rough place to be in.
Anon says
Commiseration! I go back to work next week and we all just got the flu! No fun.
CCLA says
I know everyone is probably tired of hearing about COVID but I am living in a nightmare. My husband works in healthcare and we have spent the last few days grappling with whether they have enough protective gear to keep themselves safe. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF WHATEVER YOU HOLD DEAR, STAY HOME UNLESS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. I wish we had the luxury of just staying home but my husband has a moral obligation to go out and help. People are going to die. A lot of people. I don’t even have words to express my ire at the dance studios and play places etc that remain open. Please be part of the solution, not the problem, stay home and spread the word.
Oh, and if you’re hoarding any n95 masks, drop them off at the nearest emergency department. Some docs are already being asked to wear what should be a disposable mask for multiple shifts. The public typically does not know how to use them the make them effective, and in any case can more effectively keep themselves safe by simply staying home, which see above, the docs cannot do.
Thank you.
Extra anon for this says
So sorry. I work in healthcare preparedness and obviously the PPE shortage is a very real problem. Many hospitals bought PAPRs when terrorism planning was all the rage, it may be worth having him ask if the hospital has anyone using those so they can preserve more N95s. The CDC has posted the contingent and crisis strategies for optimizing the limited N95 supply and I would urge him to view that and make sure his hospital is following it. It does include, unfortunately, re-using N95s, but hopefully that’s coupled with a lot of other strategies to further protect healthcare workers in their facility. He has a right to know if they’re doing all that they can.
Also, not that you asked or need me to tell you, but how are they having them store the N95 between uses? Some places are putting them in sandwich bags and that absolutely is not the recommended method, because putting them in plastic promotes microbial growth. It’s recommended to store them in paper lunch bags and then dispose of the paper bag every single time. They should order a bunch of those now, because soon they’ll be gone with the PPE.
I apologize, I feel like I’m a man offering advice when you didn’t ask for any, I just want to make sure he knows what the facility should be doing to protect him. We can’t do anything about the lack of PPE, but these contingent and crisis strategies should at least be followed properly. Thank you to your family.
CCLA says
Thank you! Information is power and I welcome it. They are indeed supplied with PAPR so they are using those during intubations/extubations (anesthesia) and as of now his hospital is not expecting a shortage of n95, but our friends at other hospitals are already experiencing shortages and we will spread the word on the storage.
lsw says
I’m in fundraising (major gifts) and it’s impossible to do my job right now and our numbers for all of 2020 are going to be terrible. There is no way I’ll make my goal for the year. Flashbacks to 2008. I know it’s a really small thing in the face of everything (I work in medical research fundraising, I get it), but I am just feeling so much job anxiety right now. Plus, it is so hard to do any sort of work with my 3.5 year old at home. My husband’s boss is (ludicrously) not allowing them to WFH so he is taking 5 days of PTO in the next two weeks, but otherwise I’m home all day trying to entertain my kids and figure out what kind of work I can actually do when 1) I can’t meet anyone in person, 2) everyone is holding tight to their money, 3) the market is awful. Thankfully my 13yo SD is home with us some days so she can help entertain my son, but I feel like I’m barely holding it together. It’s also a forecast of rain every day for the next two weeks so forget sending them outside. I feel so worried about everything.
Anonymous says
lsw, I’m in institutional giving, which is a little less dire and easier to do remotely than major gifts, but I can imagine how tough it is for you. Is your job really at risk though? I feel like good fundraisers are first hired and last fired. I work for a performing arts organization and it is a terrible time. I keep submitting grant proposals that are no longer accurate by the next day. Try to just get through today.
lsw says
Tough for all of us fundraisers! Thanks for your kind words. And you hang in there, too.
Meg says
Continuing thread from yesterday about giving birth right now: I delivered at a Bay Area hospital Sunday. (Healthy baby girl, yay!) They implemented a one visitor/support person rule for all birthing parents and banned any other visitors and anyone under 14 years old. Visitors with any cold symptoms were banned (one woman’s husband had a cough, and they sent him home, leaving the mom to do the rest alone). Otherwise the stringent hygiene practices in labor and delivery were the same. My doctor also mentioned that they were telling patients due in the next few weeks that they could opt for inductions at 39 weeks to try to get in and out before the hospitals started getting hit with more COVID-19 cases. Everyone was really in a community spirit, and I was so grateful to the nurses, staff, and doctors working through the madness.
Anon says
Congratulations on your baby girl!
Inductions at 39 weeks for a first-time birth are statistically quite safe and have lower risks of complications than expectation management. See the ACOG’s statements:
“Practice Advisory: Clinical guidance for integration of the findings of The ARRIVE Trial: Labor Induction versus Expectant Management in Low-Risk Nulliparous Women”
“Induction of Labor at 39 Weeks, FAQ507, September 2018”
“Support for Elective IOL at 39 Weeks Growing”
Anon says
congrats on your baby girl and for staying so positive during this challenging time! wishing you lots of luck with your newborn. out of curiosity – what is your pediatrician doing regarding newborn visits in the office? are they encouraging you to buy a scale at home to weigh the baby instead of going in?
i mentioned yesterday a fam friend who gave birth in NYC on Sunday at midnight – they had the same policy as San Fran. one visitor per person.
Anonymous says
My pediatrician just sent out an email saying newborn visits in-office were still on, but all other visits were either rescheduled or moved to telemedicine. They had a list of precautions they’re taking and asked sick/exposed people to stay away.
AnotherAnon says
I have just been asked to sign a WFH agreement that specifies I am not allowed to watch my child while I WFH. Would you sign it? I know it’s just a CYA for my employer but this seems a little extra given the circumstances. All schools are closed and they just closed all bars and restaurants (except for takeaway) because we’re in an area with hundreds of transmission cases, not that that matters for this, IMO.
Anon says
No, that’s ridiculous. If school is closed, you have to watch your child. These aren’t normal circumstances. Fwiw, there are no confirmed cases in my city and my employer is anti-WFH but daycare closed so I just told them I was working from home full-time effective immediately. It was a statement, not a request. I have a toddler at home, so obviously not getting a whole lot done. I have no idea if I’ll have a job to go back to in 6 months, but honestly my job status was shaky before this crisis due to a major reorg, and I’m not going to put a job that clearly doesn’t value me that much above my health and the health of my loved ones.
Anon says
Absolutely, positively not. No questions and I’d prob leak it to the media, if not state AG. Eff your company. Do I buy products from them? Because I’d prefer not to. (sorry you’re dealing with this from the bottom of my heart)
Anonymous says
This is not good advice.
Anonanonanon says
That is a standard clause for WFH agreements, is it possible they pulled a template one for everyone to sign without thinking through the implications in this specific situation? Obviously it’s ridiculous to have that in there for this situation, but it could have been an oversight and is worth pointing out.
Pogo says
Yeah, I really hope they didn’t overlook that glaring fact but I concur that in my experience you are not allowed to wfh while also providing childcare. Obviously this is a totally different situation; my employer and my husband’s have this rule and it is being relaxed for the duration.
cbackson says
Yeah, my (enormous) employer has specifically stated that you are permitted to care for your children while WFH if there is a school closure in your area.
Anonymous says
Same with my employer, which is ordinarily very strict about no WFH while providing child care.
Anonymous says
It’s probably their normal WFH agreement, where it makes sense to specify that. Some people think they can care for babies/toddlers and work from home full time, which is insane. I would talk to your manager about the current circumstances, I doubt they would care.
Anon says
my top tier university is also asking people to sign this who are now working from home. they just came up with this document because WFH is unprecedented around here
OP says
Thanks everyone. It seems like it was probably just an oversight (they’re known for this type of thing) so I’m just going to sign it and do what I need to do to get through this.
Anonymous says
You could strike the part you want removed and ask them to sign it, too. Not ideal but something. I wouldn’t sign it otherwise.
Anonanonanon says
Agreed, I don’t think there is anything wrong with saying something along the lines of “I’ve crossed out the childcare provision since there isn’t childcare available in our community right now. I’m sure it was an oversight, but I wanted to bring it to your attention in case anyone else pointed it out”
Anon says
I would strike that section.
Symptom Guidance says
Can someone link me to reliable information about COVID-19 symptoms? CDC’s three bullets are very vague. I need them for a loved one who is running hot, but not yet fever, aching, her baseline breathing is normal but can’t take a deep breath without a dry cough. No known exposure but didn’t hunker down until Saturday evening and community spread is occurring (albeit at a low rate) in her location. This is all too much…
Anonanonanon says
My son went to the ER with a 106 fever, sudden pneumonia, and negative flu tests and didn’t get tested so it may not even make a difference if she has the right symptoms.
Anon says
Yup. She should self-quarantine for a minimum of 14 days and go to the hospital if she has trouble breathing. There’s nothing else to do. She probably wont’ be able to get a test unless she’s so ill she needs to be hospitalized.
Extra anon for this says
The (somewhat? sort of?) bright side (for lack of a better term) is there is not a specific treatment for COVID-19. Outside of the risk of transmitting it to others, the official diagnosis will not impact her treatment in any way. It’s not like failing to get diagnosed with the flu within 24 hours and not getting to use Tamiflu.
Anon says
This isn’t entirely accurate. There are experimental treatments approved for compassionate use that are being given to critically ill people and some of them may be effective. But it’s true that an early diagnosis won’t change things, because you won’t get an experimental treatment until you’re much closer to death.
Anonymous says
Anonanonanon, when did this happen?!? Is he OK?
Anon says
Everything I’ve seen suggests aches are not a common symptom. The main symptoms are fever, cough, and shortness of breath in bad cases; maybe also a sore throat. Stay in isolation but she may just have a run of the mill cold, or if the fever spikes high then maybe the flu.
anon says
I actually got tested over the weekend (negative, thankfully), but I learned a lot. I assumed that fever, cough, and sneezing plus trouble breathing or shortness of breath were THE symptoms but apparently not. Some people have no symptoms at all. Some have slight symptoms like slight cough. I had a sore throat, very low fever (100.1) at most, and fatigue. The sore throat and fatigue were also possible symptoms. It really doesn’t seem consistent, even in patients who have tested positive.
Jeffiner says
CNN is recommending Tylenol, that NSAIDs like Aspirin or Ibuprofen may complicate Covid-19 (although this was only one study done in France). Otherwise, as long as she can breathe, just rest, fluids, and quarantine.
Anon says
I need a gut check. I am in the Bay Area and we are under a shelter-in-place order. The order specifically exempts in-home childcare providers. I texted my nanny, who has worked for us for almost 2 years, to confirm she would be here as usual. But also let her know we could start later than usual to give everyone more time to rest (and since we are working from home and don’t need to commute). She texted me back and said there is a shelter-in-place order and “none of her other nanny friends are working for three works during this order and are being paid.” I find this hard to believe considering she is specifically exempt from this order and being fully paid for three weeks without providing any work, and making it impossible for me to work, seems insane. Keep in mind this is in addition to two weeks of paid vacation (and all paid federal holidays) she is already taking. And, every other person on our street has their nanny as usual this morning. I texted her to tell her I understood if she is uncomfortable, but that is her choice considering she is exempt from the order. Keep in mind she is young, has no children of her own, and would be in our house as usual with our 2 year old she has watched for the last almost 2 years. No venturing out.
Am I in the wrong for being seriously irritated by this? You are exempt, this is three weeks of shelter-in-place we are dealing with, and you want to be paid on top of that? Even though you are making it impossible for me to work, and that is how I pay you?
This is a new landscape, and I’m trying to be sensitive. This is someone we’ve had a good relationship with for a long time. But this is getting under my skin. Help?
Extra anon for this says
Are you all following the shelter in place order? I would explain to her that you are working from home and not even going to the grocery store if her concern is disease transmission. You can tell her you will take extra breaks to disinfect the house more. Otherwise, yes, I think she’s being ridiculous. It’s not like she’s being asked to go work in a full-on childcare center brimming with children, it’s a single residence and she’s exempt from the order.
I may be particularly touchy about this at the moment though because our house has two people responding to the pandemic and don’t know what we would do if our provider didn’t come through.
Anon says
My city isn’t in shelter in place, we don’t even have confirmed cases here, and I’m paying almost $2k/month to my closed daycare. I think expecting a nanny to come to work when there’s a shelter-in-place order is insane, and if you don’t want to lose her, I would expect that you need to pay her.
Anon says
+1
I hear you. I can hear your stress through your words. You are allowed to be irritated. These are INSANE times. My toddler is home and my company is guns-a-blazin’ moving forward with business. But this is not a fair expectation of your nanny. You don’t know if this person has an underlying medical condition she hasn’t disclosed. You have to defer to assume good intentions, I think, and hear her that she is uncomfortable. Full stop. Perhaps agree to reevaluate daily? As an aside, this isn’t a vacation for her so talking about vacation time in your post definitely hit me wrong. That shouldn’t be part of the calculus in my opinion.
Are there daycare workers out of work that would want to take this on in the interim? How else can you use resources to find care under these circumstances?
Anon OP says
So, this is fair. But isn’t either dangerous, or not? If it isn’t fair to ask the person who normally watches our son, why is it fair to ask someone else?
And I get why the mention of vacation could rub you the wrong way – I mention it only to make sure I’m clear that I’m not trying to run someone ragged or not pay her for time not worked, ever. I know how important it is to have a break – and that is especially true of the person watching my child.
Food for thought. I appreciate the responses here for sure.
Anon says
To be clear, there is no right or obvious answer (except the people who I’m sure will say no one goes out at all, no questions asked).
Yes, either are dangerous but only one scenario puts your nanny at risk, which is her immediate concern. So the solution to that is she doesn’t come but someone else does. Maybe that logic is flawed, but I really think you have to defer to the preference of the caregiver in this situation.
And, thanks for vacation clarification. I see your reason for bringing that up.
Anonymous says
I’m really mixed on this. I’m paying daycare $2k and they are closed. I’m half WFH half not working at all.
I think you may let her know that if she’s not able to come in, She can take the time as unpaid time off and collect unemployment. I assume she’s an employee. Then you can get alternate care in place.
Pogo says
I think what I hear in your writing and what would bother me is that you feel you have a personal relationship with this person, and a level of trust to be like: Hey, this sucks. But we are following the rules, and you are following the rules, and we’ve really only been around each other for the last week besides that emergency trip to Trader Joe’s – so let’s work together. That’s how it went with my in-home provider as I’ve shared, and I feel incredibly lucky that we are so close and our families are close and it really is like we’re one family, all in it together. So I think you’re feeling some hurt from that – when one person raises your LO from a tiny baby to a defiant toddler, you feel a bond with them, I get it!
It sounds like maybe she is young and scared more than anything else; no matter how well you think you know her, you’re different people with different levels of risk. I agree with the advice to assume the best intentions, not that she’s trying to score free paid time off. I would also think that the government – especially in CA – may step in to help employers with the PTO required for a shelter in place order, and in this case you’d be the employer. I think re-evaluating and keeping in touch could work out – maybe her anxiety level will go down, she’ll get more comfortable, etc. Could you offer to pick her up and drive her back to your place if that’s a concern? Or anything else that might ease her mind.
Anon OP says
Ok, so this EXACTLY explains what I’m feeling. Thanks for putting words to it. And you’re right. I’m hoping after a couple of days we can check in and figure things out.
Pogo says
Hugs – I’m glad you feel listened to! It’s a stressful time for everyone, I just keep reminding myself of that.
Anon says
Read your shelter in place order again. I think the exemptions only apply to nannies that LIVE with you and nannies providing child care to essential staff like health care providers. It doesn’t sound like your situation meets the exemption and your nanny is right.
Anon OP says
I’ve read it very carefully. It specifically exempts in-home (as well as live-in) childcare (eldercare, etc.). And each shelter-in-place order is different depending on the county. You are probably referring to San Francisco, which is different (and should be, considering how people are stacked on top of each other).
Anon OP says
Interesting to hear two such different perspectives. We are absolutely sheltering in place. And I’m amazed to hear people are having to pay for closed daycare. Even more so in areas where they are not yet ordered to shelter in place. That is absolutely not the case here. I’m not saying it’s a good or bad thing, I’m just saying what is.
What really made me think twice is that literally every other person I’ve spoken to (so no fewer than 7 other families who also use nannies in-home, observing shelter in place) has had no issue, and their respective nannies didn’t even ask about not coming.
Anon says
Fwiw, I have three friends in the Bay Area with nannies and all three of them told their nannies to stay home with full pay – one had already told her nanny to stay home, the other two did it as a result of the shelter in place order. To be fair, all these friends have office jobs and are working from home (and also have spouses WFH) so none of them “need” childcare in the same way doctors and nurses do. But I do think your “everyone else is doing this” is biased by your small sample size and not a reflection of the Bay Area as a whole. Who knows. We both have a very tiny sample size, but my anecdata is the complete opposite.
Anonymous says
So that’s good to know. Thanks. The shelter-in-place makes things unusual for sure. And I appreciate hearing from others in the area.
Extra anon for this says
If it makes any difference, I’m a public health professional and I think at the very least she needs to engage in a dialogue with you about why she doesn’t want to come, beyond “none of my friends have to”. If she has a concern about catching COVID maybe you can help soothe those concerns (again, if you aren’t going anywhere or ordering food in the disease is not going to magically enter your house and be transmitted to her). If she takes public transportation that’s a different story.
Anon OP says
Definitely NO pubic transportation. Frankly, if she were taking public transportation I wouldn’t want her here. I would offer to pick her up and drop her off myself. She lives five minutes away and drives her own car. And I agree – I think we need to talk this through. I just wanted to get some initial perspectives on such a crazy issue. Really appreciate all of the responses.
anon says
This situation we’re in is decidedly unfunny, but I had to give my 5-year-old DD credit for making me laugh today.
Our elderly cat, who has some digestive issues, left us a hairball present on the kitchen floor. DD saw it and her immediate reaction was, “Ohhhhh no. The cat has the coronas.”
So that’s what I’m calling it now. The coronas.
Extra anon for this says
awww I love that!
When my son was about that age he set an “ebola trap”. He thought you WANTED to “catch” Ebola because if you caught it you stopped it before it got into your body and made you sick.
Anonymous says
I love how kids are interpreting all of this. My 5 year old DD is now explaining everything that doesn’t go her way as “because of the coronavirus,” which she says in a there-there, patronizing kind of way. Sometimes it makes sense (gymnastics class cancelled, vacation cancelled), sometimes not. At lunch today it was, “yuck! Why do I have to eat carrots? Oh I know, because of the coronavirus.”
anon says
Haha, that’s great!
lsw says
Ah, needed this. Our 13yo has taken to responding to every answer we give her that she doesn’t like, “Oh, because corona?” and we’re like, no, drawing with permanent markers in the living room has nothing to do with coronavirus. Ha.
IHeartBacon says
I NEEDED THIS! Thanks for sharing.
Anonymous says
I’ve seen several activity lists going around, but I haven’t seen anything that has a lot of ideas specific to young toddlers who have very limited attention spans. I tried to do a Cosmic Kids Yoga video with my 21 month old yesterday and she just giggled at me until we got to a pose laying on the ground (then she joined me and said “Mama night night!”), Does anyone have a list of activities specific to this age group? So far we’ve done coloring, bubbles, and lots short videos (Elmo, Daniel Tiger, etc.)
Pogo says
My 2yo still has a very limited attention span. I find the more hands-on I am, the longer I can get out of one activity. This is obviously mutually exclusive with productive work, so depends what your goal is.
– building w/ cardboard box + painter’s tape
– simple baking activities
– “helping” on any household chores (sweeping, vacuuming, putting away groceries or laundry) – yes, it actually makes the chore harder but can occupy the child for a decent period of time
– looking through catalogs that come in the mail
With any toy, I will try to initiate a setup like, “Looks like it’s time to feed the zoo animals – let’s cook them some breakfast. What are we making?” Mine is finally at the age where he does his himself (“Mommy the motorcycle needs gas. The tow truck gotta drive him to the gas station!” where the tow truck is a fire engine toy and the gas station is some random spot in the other room) but if he’s getting crazy I usually try to swoop in and suggest something. Even just like, “How high do you think we can build this tower?” or whatever.
The struggle is real. Kudos to all of you doing this with toddlers at home.
Anonanonanon says
This is my problem. I anticipate we’ll pull her from her in-home daycare provider in about 2 weeks (which is going to be a bit traumatic for her) and I don’t know what I’ll do. She’ll give attention to something if I’m actively engaged in it with her, but that’s it.
KatieWolf says
Busy Toddler has a post on activities for Tabies (Toddler Babies, age 12-24 months). That’s what I’m going to refer to, bc I am in the same boat!
Anon says
If you have access to outdoor spacer, that got us the most time at that age. Our kid can wander a field, backyard, or trail finding leaves, touching flowers, whatever much longer then she would do any indoor activity. (Obviously you cant work from home while with your child in a field but it does pass a big chunk of time).
Housecleaners says
What is everyone doing about their house cleaners? Ours is on a cruise right now (ugh) so I do not want her to come for at least the 14 day quarantine (if not longer). Should I be paying her even though she isn’t coming? Or will that hinder her from filing for unemployment?
mascot says
We are paying ours even though she isn’t coming. As far as I know, independent contractors aren’t eligible for unemployment- that’s one of the downsides of being IC instead of employees.
Anon says
Unpopular opinion, but we have not canceled ours yet. She came last week; she is not due again until next week. We are hunkered down at home and have been since last week, so I am inclined to have her come assuming we are all still well. We are low risk people and not venturing out at all (god bless all the deliveries), and since we will have been at home for two weeks we should know whether we have it or not, so we’re unlikely to get her sick, and if she gets us sick, again, we’re low risk and not venturing out at all so the spread will be confined to us. DH is not physically able to clean and I don’t have the energy for it.
Anon says
I’m in an area under a shelter in place order, so we’ve directed the cleaners not to come, but still charge, for the duration of the order. I wouldn’t want someone who was just on a cruise in my house right now.
Anon says
We have a service but we’ve canceled next month’s cleaning and will not be paying. My employer regularly furloughs without pay, and I expect that to happen to me in the near future, so we’re not in a position to continue paying for services we’re not receiving. We may have to pull our kids from their beloved daycare soon for the same reason.
Spirograph says
We canceled ours, less because we’re concerned about illness than because we can’t all get out of the house for 3 hours, and I don’t want her to try to clean around us. I told her we will pay her for all skipped weeks next time she comes, and we can mail a check earlier if she prefers.