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CorporetteMoms

Updated: Oct 11, 2023 72 Comments · by Ann

Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Cooper Top

Machine-Washable Work Clothes· Recent Recs

This post may contain affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Cooper Top

Here’s an easy-care top that goes straight from desk to dinner.

Marcella’s Cooper Top is made from a stretchy jersey fabric with soft folds and gathered sides for a flattering draped look. Wear the boatneck on your shoulders for day, and off for night.

I’m not sold on the thumbholes, but if I ever forgot my gloves on a chilly day, I’ll be glad they’re there!

This top is $85 and comes in espresso, sky blue, or black. It is available in sizes XS–XXXL

Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear.

Sales of note for 12.5.23…

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

  • Nordstrom – Holiday sale up to 50% off; 5x the points on beauty for a limited time
  • Ann Taylor – 40% off your purchase & extra 15% off sweaters
  • Banana Republic – Up to 40% off select styles; up to 40% off sale styles
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything & extra 20% off purchase
  • Eloquii – Extra 60% off all sale
  • J.Crew – 40% off your purchase with code
  • Lands’ End – Up to 70% off everything; free shipping (readers love the cashmere)
  • Loft – 50% off your purchase with code (ends 12/5)
  • Summersalt – Up to 60% off select styles & free scarf with orders $125+ (this reader-favorite sweater blazer is down to $75)
  • Talbots – 40% off your regular-price purchase; extra 50% off all markdowns
  • Zappos – 34,000+ women’s sale items! Check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kid shoe brands on sale.

Kid/Family Sales

  • Crate&kids – Free shipping sitewide; up to 50% off toy + gift event; free monogramming for a limited time only (order by 12/15)
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off your purchase with code
  • Pottery Barn Kids – Up to 50% off toys, furniture & gifts
  • Graco – Holiday savings up to 35% off; sign up for texts for 20% off full-price item
  • Walmart – Up to 25% off top baby gifts; big savings on Delta, Graco, VTech, Fisher-Price & more
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About Ann

Ann is a working mom, a longtime reader of Corporette and CorporetteMoms, and has been writing our morning fashion advice for working moms since November 2020! She has a daughter (born winter 2014) and a son (born fall 2019) and is a public interest lawyer in Washington, D.C.

« The Best Maternity Pants for Work in 2023
The Amazon Prime Sale Is Goooood »

Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    10/11/2023 at 9:41 am

    To me this is not an office top.

    Reply
    • Anon says

      10/11/2023 at 10:01 am

      I feel like this is one of those tops that it’s easier for small-chested women to get away with.

      Reply
      • Anon1 says

        10/11/2023 at 10:14 am

        Agreed. This would read very date night on my busty self.

        Reply
      • Anonymous says

        10/11/2023 at 12:05 pm

        I am modestly endowed and still wouldn’t wear it to the office. Too slinky. And what is up with thumbholes in a supposedly dressy top?

        Reply
    • Anonymous says

      10/11/2023 at 10:27 am

      I would totally wear this with a midi skirt or high waisted wide leg pants.

      Reply
    • GCA says

      10/11/2023 at 12:17 pm

      I’m just giggling at the use of the phrase ‘desk to dinner’. Alas, I do not have a desk-to-dinner life. I have a desk-to-hustling-kids-to-activities-to-making-and-eating-dinner life. But I (small of bust, sloped of shoulder, petite pear) do like a boatneck top.

      Reply
  2. Attacks on Israel - how to talk to kids about it says

    10/11/2023 at 10:24 am

    Does anyone have suggestions/resources for how to talk to kids about the attacks in Israel and what is happening/background? My kids are 11 (almost 12) and 8. I’m struggling with wanting to tell them enough that they know what is happening without the traumatizing details (at least for the 8 year old).

    Reply
  3. Betsy says

    10/11/2023 at 10:26 am

    Looking for opinions on infant car seats. It seems like ones with stability legs rate better in safety testing, but it also seems like a lot of the common recommended seats don’t have them. I’m thinking about getting the Nuna Pipa or the Clek Liing. Leaning towards the Nuna Pipa because the safety ratings are pretty close but it’s a bit less expensive. We will need two car seats plus a base for a grandparent’s car, so it’s going to add up! Does anyone have one of those seats and have strong opinions in favor or against? Any strong feelings about stability legs in general?

    Reply
    • Lydia says

      10/11/2023 at 10:43 am

      we had a Clek liing…it was fine but expensive and heavy. if I got another one, I’d probably get a Graco or something. It was also somewhat difficult to install, but that might also have been my personal cluelessness at that point. It is Canadian, if that matters to you.

      Reply
    • Anon says

      10/11/2023 at 10:45 am

      After having two kids, I would say get whatever car seat your stroller has adapters for. And if the safety ratings are similar, get whatever is cheaper because kiddo will outgrow it quickly! Also, a removable seat cover is great because your kid will end up pooping in the car seat.

      Reply
    • Amelia pond says

      10/11/2023 at 10:49 am

      I have the nuna pipa and I love it. My 4 month old is already 18 lbs so I absolutely love the lightweight car seat. I also like the extra fabric flaps that provide some more sun coverage.

      Reply
    • Anon says

      10/11/2023 at 10:50 am

      I was about to get a Clek Liing (unfortunately lost the pregnancy…) and did some research on it. The things I liked were the stability leg/safety performance, the lack of flame-retardant chemicals (important to me for something the baby spends significant time in), the manufactured in Canada aspect, the light weight for the seat itself, and the general ease of use ratings. People say that the design makes it really easy to see if something isn’t connected properly.

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      10/11/2023 at 10:52 am

      Does Maxi Cosi have them?? I loved our Maxi Cosi bucket seat. No experience with Clek bucket seats but we loved our Clek Fllos even though they were heavy AF.

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      10/11/2023 at 10:55 am

      Just giving a shoutout to Baby Bargains, which has a rundown of popular seats and their favorites. They say that the Clek Liing is too new to have enough real-world feedback for them to assess yet, but hopefully they’ll update soon. I personally used the Chicco Keyfit, and it was fine but if I did it again I might go with one with additional safety features like a rebound bar.

      Reply
    • Anon says

      10/11/2023 at 10:57 am

      i like the analysis on Lucie’s List

      Reply
      • Anon says

        10/11/2023 at 11:57 am

        +1 for Lucie’s List

        Reply
    • Anon says

      10/11/2023 at 11:11 am

      All car seats must pass the same safety requirements to be on the market. None of the other “ratings” you are seeing are official, and at best one seat is incrementally safer than another. The safest seat is the one that you can install correctly and get a great fit in, so recommendations will vary based on your type of car and size of child. I personally used and loved the Chicco Keyfit, which fits even very tiny babies and is easy to install.

      Reply
      • AwayEmily says

        10/11/2023 at 1:48 pm

        +1 to this. We have a $$, highly rated Diono and I feel like it’s less safe than our basic Britax because the Britax is easier to tighten.

        Reply
  4. NLD in NYC says

    10/11/2023 at 11:07 am

    Any tips on getting kiddos to sleep with without melatonin? Peds said it was safe, but it would be nice not to have to drug my 3 year old every night. We do the sleep routine (bath, book, etc.) He just sings to himself for hours. Sigh.

    Reply
    • Anonymous says

      10/11/2023 at 11:22 am

      Is he still napping? If so that may be the problem.

      Reply
    • Anon says

      10/11/2023 at 11:26 am

      I feel like it’s pretty common for 3 year olds who nap to need later bedtimes, if you haven’t tried that. Outside time is good for tiring them out. I also started telling my kids stories around then — after we read a book, lights out and then I tell some boring story that puts them to sleep.

      Reply
    • Anon says

      10/11/2023 at 11:32 am

      I agree with other posters that a nap may be the culprit. I’d also try a bedtime snack depending on dinner times. Something boring and plain. Cereal and milk, yogurt, a banana, smoothie, etc. Brush teeth after. Bedtime for my 3 year old was 9ish until she started preschool at 4.5 and didn’t nap during the day.

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      10/11/2023 at 11:42 am

      I know peds give it the green light but I’m with you on melotonin.

      Cut the nap, add more physical time if needed, longe bath time. Also, if all else fails, allow book time at night. Consider adding a stuffy/lovey if he doesn’t use one.

      FWIW my kids stopped napping at ~2/2.5.

      Reply
    • anonM says

      10/11/2023 at 11:45 am

      Is he singing to himself in bed? +1 to cutting naps, but also if he stays in bed at bedtime, that’d be good enough to me. Save melatonin for trips/occasions.

      Reply
    • NLD in NYC says

      10/11/2023 at 1:04 pm

      Thanks all! He still naps at 3K though a little less than daycare (~1 hour vs 2 hours). He’s nearly 4, so he may outgrow it soon. He says he’s tired, but he’ll stay up even after we put him down.

      Reply
      • Anonymous says

        10/11/2023 at 1:23 pm

        Definitely drop the nap entirely if he is almost 4. No screens and low lights for an hour before bed. Fresh air and running around outside as much as possible before/after supper.

        Reply
      • NYCer says

        10/11/2023 at 1:24 pm

        I would say the nap is definitely the culprit. My daughter stopped napping regularly well before that age, but she would stay up SO late if she fell asleep at all during the day (e.g., in the stroller or the car). Does your school have any option for kids to skip naps? Or everyone has to lie down?

        Reply
        • Anon says

          10/11/2023 at 1:28 pm

          Yah, my oldest napped until well past 4, but bedtime was 9:30-10pm (it worked for our family…wake up was 8am, which was great!)

          Reply
        • NLD in NYC says

          10/11/2023 at 1:49 pm

          I’ll see if the school has an option to skip naps, but I think everyone has to lie down.

          Reply
          • octagon says

            10/11/2023 at 2:53 pm

            At that age preschool allowed my child to lay quietly on the nap mat and look at books, emphasis on quietly. We made a big deal out of how it was a privilege and if he made any noise, they would take away the books and he would have to nap. Thankfully, we didn’t really have any incidents and bedtime quickly reverted to a normal time and duration.

          • Anon says

            10/11/2023 at 3:14 pm

            Yeah, it’s a licensing requirement in many states that children be given an opportunity to nap, so your hands are kind of tied when it comes to the school. You can ask that he be given books but they may say no (ours only gave books to children who were still awake 20 minutes after lying down) and he may fall asleep even with the books and they’re probably prohibited from waking him.

        • Anon says

          10/11/2023 at 2:19 pm

          Same, at 3.5 mine would be up past midnight if she took a nap. We had to cut her off from naps because it was getting out of control.

          Reply
      • Anonymous says

        10/11/2023 at 1:32 pm

        Kill the nap. Or accept the late bedtime. Def do not let him nap then give him melotonin to get him to bed.

        Reply
      • Boston Legal Eagle says

        10/11/2023 at 1:44 pm

        Cut the nap. He may outgrow it, but he may not. We had to cut our oldest’s naps off at age 4, because otherwise he was staying up until 9:30 or later. After, he was down by 7/7:30 and it was magical.

        Reply
      • Anonymous says

        10/11/2023 at 2:38 pm

        Yeh if mine naps 5 mins now he’s up a full hour and a half later a bedtime. It’s the nap. We’ve never used melatonin, I don’t want to mess with my kids body chemistry. Full sunlight playing outside first thing in the morning (we put ours outside with coats over PJs) and lots of outdoor time.

        Reply
    • Spirograph says

      10/11/2023 at 1:30 pm

      Maybe if you supply the music, he’ll let that lull him to sleep rather than singing, himself? I have a “nighttime songs” playlist that I’ve used for my kids for years. At this point, it’s kind of Pavlovian. They’re almost always all asleep by the time it gets to Edelweiss. :)

      But +1 to the nap-related suggestions. I think minimizing, eliminating, or shifting nap earlier in the day will probably be a big help

      Reply
    • Anon. says

      10/11/2023 at 3:21 pm

      No advice, only solidarity. And crying a little bit that the only advice is to drop nap – not an option at our daycare.

      Reply
      • Anon says

        10/11/2023 at 3:47 pm

        Same, our daycare required kids to try to nap. I believe it’s a licensing rule here. Mine stopped napping at school crazy early (just after turning 2) but I really felt for the parents of 4 and 5 year olds who were taking 1.5 hour naps at school and refusing to go to bed. My daughter is in kindergarten now, and there are kids who STILL nap!

        Reply
      • NLD in NYC says

        10/11/2023 at 4:34 pm

        Hunger games salute : (

        Reply
  5. test run says

    10/11/2023 at 11:41 am

    Does anyone here have experience delivering at a baby friendly hospital and not b-feeding? Any tips/specific phrases to make it easier? I can’t b-feed for medical reasons (don’t want to get into it, but trust me that it is not physically possible for my body – would if I could!) and while I’m definitely not a person who has trouble standing up for myself or using my words, I’m concerned that just saying, “I can’t,” or “I’m unable to,” will leave too much room for, “why not?” or “well, actually, you probably can…” that I’m just not looking forward to dealing with postpartum. I’m planning on hiring a doula who I’m hoping will help run offense for me, but I know sometimes in certain situations, the right phrasing can help shut things down faster.

    Reply
    • Anon says

      10/11/2023 at 11:57 am

      I would repeat “we are formula feeding” ad nauseam. YMMV, but I’m not a big fan of over-justifying my own valid reasons for something. Sometimes reasons are private or painful and being forced to defend them just makes it worse. Have your doula run interference if anyone wants to be rude and fight you on this.

      Reply
      • Anonymous says

        10/11/2023 at 12:07 pm

        Self-advocacy won’t be enough at a baby-friendly hospital. They do not allow formula-feeding without a doctor’s order, and they will force you to room in. I would have the OB write an order for formula as soon as they show up for the delivery; I don’t know what to do if they will only accept an order from the pediatrician since she won’t see the baby until the day after delivery.

        Reply
        • Anon says

          10/11/2023 at 12:26 pm

          This. If the hospital is actually baby friendly (or as I call it, mom-unfriendly) you can’t get formula without a doctor’s note specifying a medical need. It’s not just a matter of being assertive enough.

          OP is there any way you can deliver at a different hospital? Regardless of what your medical records say, you will get a ton of judgment for not attempting breastfeeding at a baby friendly hospital and as you pointed out it will be a horrible thing to deal with when you’re freshly postpartum.

          Reply
          • test run says

            10/11/2023 at 12:40 pm

            I would, but all the hospitals within a 45 minute radius have this designation and there are no “birthing centers” or other options around, unfortunately. I really appreciate everyone’s feedback, though, and I’ll definitely start talking to my OB about it ASAP in the hopes of getting ahead of things, even if it still sounds like it will be a huge PITA.

        • Anonymous says

          10/11/2023 at 1:05 pm

          Nonsense. Bring your own formula. Feed your baby with it. No one is stopping you doing that.

          Reply
          • Anon says

            10/11/2023 at 2:20 pm

            Actually I have a friend who brought her own formula and a nurse took it away. A doctor eventually got involved and it was returned to her, but it’s not beyond the realm of possibility…

    • anon says

      10/11/2023 at 12:16 pm

      I’d discuss with the OB and/or pediatrician to see if they can shut this down on their end. Perhaps by putting in a dietary order for formula for baby or if there’s some notation they can put in the EMR that you will not be breastfeeding and should be supported in that.

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      10/11/2023 at 12:18 pm

      Doula would’ve been my first recommendation, and if I ever have another kid, I will absolutely hire one.

      I would also talk to your OB now (and again and again) about this. You’re going to needed it plastered all over your medical records that you can’t and that you do not consent to any of the stuff they’re going to try to do to start lactation. You should also plan to bring some of those ready to feed formula bottles with you to the hospital, because you’re still going to have to waste time getting a ped prescription and then sign a whole bunch of paperwork saying that you acknowledge that you’re going against medical best practices by feeding formula.

      Reply
      • test run says

        10/11/2023 at 12:41 pm

        This is helpful, thank you – and thanks to anon @ 12:16. I did not realize that I would also need pediatrician support (though I guess it makes sense) so good to try to get that ahead of time, too.

        Reply
        • Anonymous says

          10/11/2023 at 2:18 pm

          I meant hospitalist ped, although if you already have a ped chosen, it’s not a bad idea to flag it for their practice. With our health system, we didn’t even see our chosen ped until LO was 2 weeks old – before that, we saw whoever was available for weight checks, etc.

          Reply
      • CCLA says

        10/11/2023 at 2:35 pm

        Can’t stress enough how helpful those ready to feed 2-oz bottles are in the early days, and especially if you use the disposable n!ppl3s that you can purchase with them. If cost isn’t prohibitive, I would grab a few 6-packs and bring to the hospital with you.

        Reply
        • Anon says

          10/11/2023 at 3:17 pm

          Yes, those are magic for newborns! And great for travel for older infants.

          Reply
      • Vicky Austin says

        10/11/2023 at 5:45 pm

        +1000 to getting your OB on board now. They presumably know about your medical history that contraindicates breastfeeding, and you should refer anyone who sasses you to them.

        Reply
    • Anony says

      10/11/2023 at 12:20 pm

      I was in the same situation medically, and my ob told me to fill out my pre-admission form indicating that my feeding plans were for formula. (There was a question that asked.) It sounded like at least at this hospital, the important metric was what % of people who checked that their goal was to breastfeed left breastfeeding exclusively, and if we came in officially not planning to in writing, the pressure would be off. I was still nervous and brought my own RTF formula just in case, but I don’t know if it was how I filled out the forms or that my baby was pre-term, but the nurses actually offered me formula without any infamous “feed at your own risk” forms and were very supportive.

      Reply
      • test run says

        10/11/2023 at 12:43 pm

        Thank you! This is helpful. You would think if there’s a medical reason you can’t that they would… understand that? But I’m honestly more nervous about dealing with this drama than actually giving birth at this point.

        Reply
    • anon says

      10/11/2023 at 12:40 pm

      What hospital? Possible that someone here has specific experience. I had NICU babies, so our experience wasn’t usual (though even then I had to specifically say that I wanted them to be fed formula to increase the speed at which we could be discharged), but during our tour someone else was told to make sure to bring formula if they wanted their baby to have it.

      Reply
      • Anon says

        10/11/2023 at 4:27 pm

        Wow! I had a NICU baby, and they started giving it formula the first day. I don’t they they even asked, but I was on bed rest, didn’t see her for the first 30 hours, and very out of it because of a med they gave me … so, I apparently missed about half of what was said to me that day. But they were just worried about her not losing too much weight give that she was already so small, my milk didn’t come in for like 4 days, and I would have told them to give formula if asked

        Reply
    • Anonymous says

      10/11/2023 at 1:25 pm

      The only other thing I would add is asking your doula what their experience is at this particular hospital. My doula knew just about as much about the inner workings of the hospital where I gave birth as the nurses! Yours might know (or can talk with others in the doula community) about what’s they’ve seen and what their methods have been for “shutting things down” if needed. It sounds like you’ll be very prepared..

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      10/11/2023 at 1:31 pm

      Rooming in may actually help you here because you can bring some ready to feed formula with you and you or DH can just feed it to baby. They only need a tiny amount in the beginning – super tiny amount. Their stomachs are like the size of a large cherry. Make sure you enjoy lots of skin to skin time even if you’re not BF’ing. It’s good for you and baby. Helps both of you regulate your body temp and circulation after birth.

      And as a mom who EBF’d her oldest exclusively for the first 4 months – BF doesn’t make you a better for worse mom any more than a natural or c-section birth does. If you are holding your baby in your arms and loving them deeply – you are a good mom. Don’t like anyone make you feel otherwise.

      As for language I would use “As noted in my file, I’m medically not allowed to BF and I wouldn’t want to go against medical advice.” Repeat ad nauseum and prepare your DH for the same. Ask for a new nurse if they are not respectful about it.

      Reply
    • AnonMD says

      10/11/2023 at 2:02 pm

      I’m a newborn hospitalist (at a non-“baby friendly” designated hospital) so wanted to chime in:

      1) Formula is great! You and your baby are going to do awesome!
      2) Bring formula, bring bottles, make sure you educate yourself on how to make and feed your baby the bottles before birth and how to stop your milk from coming in. Unfortunately you likely won’t get this education at the hospital.
      3) They won’t have a designated nursery that you can send your baby to, so just be aware they’ll be in your room the whole time.
      4) I really hope/expect this will be less stressful than your expecting, but essentially the phrases you’re looking for are “I have to formula feed for X medical reason” and “no thanks!”. People I’d expect you have to tell/talk about this with are: the admitting labor nurse, the admitting postpartum nurse, the pediatrician. Everyone else, just smile and say “no thanks”. The lactation consultant swings by? “No thanks!” the moment they introduce themselves.

      I also want to reassure anyone else reading this that “baby friendly” is a very specific designation and most hospitals are much more formula friendly.

      Congratulations and good luck!!

      Reply
      • Anon says

        10/11/2023 at 2:25 pm

        “I also want to reassure anyone else reading this that “baby friendly” is a very specific designation and most hospitals are much more formula friendly. ”

        I’m not sure I really agree with this… I mean, yes “baby friendly” hospitals are more aggressive about it, but the pressure exists in many non-baby friendly hospitals too. I delivered at a non-baby friendly place, and multiple nurses and lactation consultants repeatedly pressured me not to use any formula. Several people said, verbatim, “If you use formula, it will be the end of the nursing relationship and you will have no hope of ever breastfeeding.” My milk wasn’t coming in, my baby was giant and starving and wouldn’t stop crying because she was hungry and we were all miserable and getting absolutely no sleep. No one cared about my baby’s cries or my lack of sleep and mental stress, it was just “keep on keeping on, you must avoid formula at all costs.” Finally a wonderful hospitalist pediatrician told me it was BS that formula would prevent me from nursing and she suggested I just use formula until my milk came in and then nurse, which is what we did and it worked great. Baby immediately started sleeping 3-4 hour stretches, and I went on to nurse for 18+ months, so I have no regrets. But there’s a lot of anti-formula pressure out there.

        Reply
        • Anonymous says

          10/11/2023 at 4:58 pm

          Varies though. I had a nurse tell me that if I was planning to supplement with formula at all, I might as well start then. Probably the right call, as I was never able to breastfeed, and the baby was hungry. but it felt weird at the time to be told to stop trying.

          Reply
  6. anon says

    10/11/2023 at 12:42 pm

    I don’t feel comfortable sharing this with anyone IRL, but I need to get it off my chest. My 13 yo son is gay and was outed at school this week by a frenemy that he’s had an up-and-down relationship with since early elementary school. Son is out to a few select people. The frenemy overheard a conversation between DS and one of his friends about a guy, C, that DS has a crush on. C also happens to be one of his closer male friends. (Most of DS’s friends are girls.) Frenemy was threatening on Friday to tell the other kid, then did it Monday morning. Son was mortified and was a nervous wreck all weekend. Says he knows that most people at school suspect he’s gay but he isn’t ready to be fully out and doesn’t want to lose the friendship with C.

    DS ended up telling the guidance counselor what happened, the guidance counselor talked to the frenemy, frenemy denied outing DS, but several other kids corroborated DS’s story. Frenemy ended up getting suspended. I’m feeling all sorts of ways about this.
    1. First, proud of DS for advocating for himself and speaking up. He did that all on his own.
    2. Thankful that the school is taking this seriously and taking a hard line against gay kids being harassed.
    3. For years, DS struggled to make friends, so it is heartwarming to see that other kids have his back. One girl apparently tried to stop the frenemy and told her it was wrong to out someone, but frenemy was set on doing it anyway.
    4. This frenemy is trouble and I have strong negative feelings about her. At the same time, I know she’s a kid who has a lot of problems of her own and possibly a rough home life. A suspension certainly won’t help any of that, and I feel bad for her in a twisted way.
    5. I don’t know what to do about the fact that my DS has a crush on one of his closest friends. He knows that a deeper relationship can never happen, as the other kid is straight and has, at times, distanced himself from DS because he’s uncomfortable. DH and I feel unprepared to help our son deal with this, even though we’ve all had the experience of having romantic feelings for a friend that aren’t reciprocated. The same-sex element makes friendships harder for a kid who has already struggled to find his people. I wish it were easier for him.

    Reply
    • Anonymous says

      10/11/2023 at 1:07 pm

      You don’t do anything about 5. An unrequited crush is not a problem for a parent to solve.

      And agreed, your son sounds great and I’m
      Glad the school was supportive!

      Reply
      • Anonymous says

        10/11/2023 at 1:33 pm

        Agree. An unrequited crush on a close friend is a common teenage experience.

        Reply
      • Anonymous says

        10/11/2023 at 3:15 pm

        On #5 he needs to be told to put some distance in that friendship. This applies to all kids regardless of $exual!ty.

        Reply
    • Boston Legal Eagle says

      10/11/2023 at 1:50 pm

      Continue to be supportive and his safe space. Life is hard and people will continue to be mean, unfortunately, but having parents who support you is such a gift.

      Reply
      • GCA says

        10/11/2023 at 2:14 pm

        This. And not being able to help in every aspect of your kids’ lives is something every parent has to come to terms with – it’s a natural instinct to want to protect your son from frenemies and unrequited crushes, but the best we can do is be a safe harbor for them. OP, you should be proud that your parenting enabled your son to speak up about the harassment, and that he feels safe enough with you to tell you about it.

        Reply
        • anon says

          10/11/2023 at 2:52 pm

          Thank you. I know I can’t fix #5. The sexuality piece just makes it feel more loaded, I guess. But man, it hurts my heart!

          Reply
      • Spirograph says

        10/11/2023 at 2:58 pm

        +1. OP, I had the same feelings as you when I read through the initial story. Great job raising a kid who is confident enough to advocate for himself, and how fortunate that your school took this seriously.

        Regarding the frenemy, and given your concern that she’s a little troubled… if the opportunity presents itself, it would be kind of you to let her know that you are a safe space for her, too, if she needs one. To me, it’s not a betrayal of your son to give some grace to a kid who made a mistake — even one that harmed him.

        Reply
    • Anon says

      10/11/2023 at 2:11 pm

      I’d try to find him a safe space where he can be his full self and connect with other kids his age who are going through the same thing.

      Reply
    • Anon says

      10/11/2023 at 2:29 pm

      No advice, but you sound like a great mom <3 Your son is lucky to have you!

      Reply
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