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One of the worst things that happened to my wallet recently is the discovery of the Instagram account @things.i.bought.and.liked. This user is anonymous and her posts are never directly sponsored (though I believe she has affiliate links?). She recently posted about these Skechers flats that seem to be a dupe for Rothy’s. Most Skechers I see are aggressively ugly but also aggressively comfortable, but these seem to be both nice-looking and comfy. The Instagram Story that drew me to these is that TIBAL (which is her nickname for those “in the know”) posted that these shoes survived a spin through the washing machine. The Cleo is available in two colors and is $44.99 at Zappos and $40.76 and up at Amazon. Skechers’ website has wide sizes. Cleo Flat This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 3.28.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your full-price purchase; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything plus extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off 2+ items; 40% off 1
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- Lands’ End – 10% off your order
- Loft – 50% off everything
- Nordstrom: Give $150 in gift cards, earn a $25 promo card (ends 3/31)
- Talbots – 40% off 1 item; 25% off everything else
- Zappos – 37,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off entire site
- Hanna Andersson – 30% off all swim; up to 30% off HannaJams
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off sitewide; 50% off select swim; 50% off kids’ styles
- Old Navy – 50% off Easter deals
- Target – 20% off Easter styles for all; up to 30% off kitchen & dining; BOGO 50% off shoes & slippers for the family;
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Sarah says
I have a similar pair if sketchers knit flats, and I think they are comfier than Rothy’s!
Irish Midori says
Me too! I love mine! I think they were $30 at Rack Room.
Anon says
Anyone know of good companies for packing and moving state to state? Company will pay relo expenses and we will need to get car shipped as well.
Minat says
Does your company have preferred vendors they work with? If not, can you get a recommendation from someone at the new company? Either way might be helpful because whatever company is recommended might have more stake in maintaining their reputation with the company and be more responsive to any issues.
T says
+1, surprised new company isn’t doing this through a relo service. Also, ask them to tax-effect their payment of your expenses so you’re not paying taxes on the relo comp.
Irish Midori says
Any experience or thoughts on Freemie vs. Medela? It’s time to order, according to the insurance gods. I had a Medela last two rounds (a long time ago), but it’s bit the dust, so my options are open.
AwayEmily says
Spectra!
Cate says
+1 I used to have the Pump in Style and I love my Spectra so much more
buffybot says
Co-sign. Used a medela at the office and spectra at home and the spectra was just much, much better. Quieter and less fiddly parts (so fewer points of failure).
Anon says
+1 I used spectra at the office (most of my pumping) and the medela at home.
Emily S. says
Another vote for the spectra, from someone who used both the Pisa and spectra!
Rhianna says
Baby Buddha!!! Cant sing its praises enough
Anon says
I’ve never used a Spectra but I think the Medela PISA doesn’t deserve it’s bad rap. I thought it was very easy to assemble and use. Pumping was boring, but never painful and I could pump on a fairly high setting comfortably. I could easily get 9-12 oz in one sitting if I did both breasts. We put all the parts in the dishwasher (with no ill effects) except the little white membranes (which took about 10 seconds to handwash). I heard a lot of complaints from friends who had Spectras about how complicated they were to assemble and clean. The Medela is definitely noisier, but I didn’t care because I was never trying to pump in a space where i needed to be quiet. Probably one and done but if I have a second kid I would just get a second Medela.
AwayEmily says
I had the same thoughts after using my Medela for baby #1 — it was totally fine. Then I used the spectra for baby 2 and it was just a LOT better on many dimensions. Gentler, equally effective (if not more), quieter, etc.I don’t think the Medela is terrible, but the spectra is definitely an improvement. I’m interested to hear about all the cleaning complaints — I did all my Medela parts in the dishwasher, and all the Spectra parts in the dishwasher, and never noticed a difference. Spectra parts are a little more expensive — that’s the only downside.
Anon says
My friends are kind of paranoid about germs and chemicals, and were against washing bottles or pump parts in the dishwasher, so maybe that was part of it. One friend who had the Spectra told me it took her 10 minutes to assemble every time, but maybe she’s just bad at assembling pumps in general? I don’t know. I can understand going with the Spectra if you’re a first time mom but I think for me, since I’m already really familiar with the Medela, the learning curve of a new pump wouldn’t be worth the incremental benefits of a Spectra. There was also a price difference for me – the Medela was free and the Spectra was $100 even with insurance, and I don’t think the increased cost would have been worth it to me. Pumping was never going to bring me great joy :P, so I wanted the cheapest option that was functional, which the Medela was.
AwayEmily says
Def a good call — Spectra is better but not $100 better!!
Anon says
I find spectra easier to wash than medela? Do both in the dishwasher. I did Medela for two kids and Spectra for my third and I just really really love it. You will be fine with Medela. I think it depends on how much you plan to pump. But if you’re pumping every day at work for a period of months, that’s totally worth the $100 extra (I paid it!) Or at least it was for me.
If you just have the pump for occasional use, like when you are away from kid for an evening or similar, I’d stick with Medela.
Anon says
I find spectra easier to wash, and I put both my spectra and my medela parts in the dishwasher. Took me no time at all to assemble either of them once I got past my pumping learning curve. I actually got the medela free and paid full frieght for the spectra on the ‘zon to have a second pump to keep at work. Totally agree the spectra was quieter (I could take conference calls and it was not noticeable (confirmed by other moms)) and gentler. I don’t think I got more milk from it, but the ability to work and pump at the same time was huge. Well worth whatever I paid for it.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I used the Medela PIS with baby 1 and used both the Spectra (work) and Medela (home) with baby 2. I like the Spectra more – it was quieter, sleeker and I like the digital screen with info. The Medela was still fine though, and I think I got slightly more output on the Medela actually, but minimal. I found the Spectra easier to wash. Both were covered by insurance, thankfully.
Team Freemies! says
Freemies! I much preferred putting cups in my bra to getting undressed and using the horns. It was faster, easier to continue working, and made me feel less like I was a dairy cow.
I bought a PISA first, so I hooked up my Freemie cups to the PISA pump for awhile, which worked fine. The Freemie pump also worked fine.
DLC says
I have the Spectra S1 and Freemie Liberty. I’ve never had a Medela, but I did have an Ameda, which was the worst of the lot. For output, the Spectra is definitely more efficient. The battery lasts a long time and I do like the night light feature. And it is a lot more comfortable then the hospital grade Medela that I rented.
The Freemie is not as efficient- it takes me 30 mins to pump what I get from the Spectra in 20 mins. But, it is much more condusive to pumping while wandering around the house or driving- so I don’t mind that it takes longer to pump because I can get more done while pumping. I also found that I got better results after I trimmed the tubing down. I wouldn’t use the Freemie as my only pump, but it has been great to slip the cups in in the morning as I get my other two kids ready for school, it to wear it while driving. And it is also very quiet. I should mention I’m a C/D cup post partum and the Freemie fits me well. I can see the Freemie being difficult to use if you are a very large chest size because of how you need to position the cups in your bra.
Anon says
Supposedly you can use the freemie cups with other pumps, including Medela and Spectra. You may need an adapter.
Anonymous says
I am at a conference and go home today and couldn’t be more excited to hug my kids (3 & 1). I am so impressed by those of you that travel a lot. This is my longest trip away (3 nights) and it’s been emotionally very hard on me.
ElisaR says
it is so hard…. but believe it or not I find it gets easier. once you’re home and back in the swing you might say “well that wasn’t THAT bad.” The kids reactions upon your return are the best – keep those in your memory for when they are apathetic teens!
anne-on says
I think it gets harder as they get older (and know you’re gone, miss you, etc.) but I do find it is kind of nice to have a few days of JUST grown up work time. After 3 or so days though I’m usually itching to get back ;)
Anon says
I got ‘fired’ from my big annual business travel thing due to budget cuts at work. I’m disappointed about losing the professional opportunity, but also kind of relieved – I’ve never left my 1.5 year old overnight (she came to the conference with me last year because she was so little) and was really dreading it.
Everlong says
I am in need of a mattress. I want to be able to order online, sleep on it, and return it easily if it does not work out. Has anyone had any success buying a mattress recently?
Anon says
Yes! Dreamcloud. Life changing.
anon says
DH did a bonkers amount of research into this and settled on Brooklyn Bedding. My brother has the Saatva, which he likes a lot but was out of our budget.
Doodles says
We have the Saatva and absolutely love it! We have the medium support one (their most popular).
Anon says
I bought the Leesa and kept it (after buying the Casper and returning it). For the Casper, the return process was pretty easy in my big metro area — they just scheduled someone to come pick it up. Casper was too firm for me (I’m thin and didn’t sink into the mattress–turns out a lot of women my size have similar complaints about it), but my husband liked it. We both love the Leesa and bought it for our guestroom as well!
Anon says
I don’t like our Leesa. After 6 months, it sagged so badly in the middle, we literally stuffed pillows under the mattress to keep it level from head to toe. My husband weighs 150 and I’m 120, this is not an excessive weight issue. Pillows are still there and now we’re considering stuffing more because it sagged even more. I don’t know why we don’t just sleep on pillows at this point. The mattress is 2 years old, can’t wait to get rid of it when we move.
Anon says
Avocado!
LadyNFS says
Purple!
Anon says
I’m struggling with 4 year old preschool. It’s a full day play-based program, but I still need before and after care because of the school hours. This means I never see the teachers who are with him most of the day. I assumed no news was good news (they don’t send daily sheets home like our daycare did, and from what I can tell there’s no clip down/ color rating/ etc behavioral system). I always ask him about his day and he tells lots of stories, and every so often they’ll include him not listening or having to apologize to a friend. I assume some are embellished or exaggerated, but figured I was getting close to the truth.
Today I had a later meeting so dropped him off at school and actually saw his teacher. She greeted him and said “let’s try not to go to the principal’s office today, okay?” I asked her about that and she said “Oh he had a pretty rough day yesterday, but today’s going to be a good one!” I had to pull away, but now I’m a little shocked. He didn’t mention anything like that last night. He had a story about some friends wrestling in line for snack, and another story about learning the letter D for dog and dad.
So now what? Do I email her and ask for more details? Trust that if I didn’t get a note home, it couldn’t be that bad? Now I worry I’m not getting the right answers from him, or I’m not getting a good picture of how he’s behaving at school. But if it’s not rising to the level of something he wants to talk about at night, do I consider it minor from his perspective and just part of learning? It feels wrong to ask him if he got in trouble every day and focus so hard on bad behavior. But should I do it anyway? Is there something I should be doing so I can help him have a better day? Something I should ask him to get a better sense of what he did each day? Or do I just leave this alone and trust it’ll work itself out?
Yes some of this is my internal issue – I’m used to the daily sheets and now I feel like I don’t know what’s happening. I never see the teachers and I’m realizing this will be the case for the next 14+ years. I totally get that. Trying to strike the right balance between concerned over-involved helicopter parent and uninvolved, frazzled working parent is so tough.
Anonymous says
I think you need to schedule a meeting with the teacher to discuss your concerns. Ask her how they communicate with working parents, etc. Communication is a two-way street. If you want more, seek it out. After you establish a rapport you can reach out to her here and there to check-in.
Anonymous says
It’s normal for a 4 year old to get in trouble for not listening or roughhousing on occasion. They would contact you if there was an issue that needed parental intervention.
Make a habit of sending a check in email every Friday so you can get a bit of a picture of the week and to connect with the teachers a bit. Just a quick note like “Johnny said he really enjoyed xyz activity this week. Hope the week went well.”
Hang in there. The adjustment from daycare to preschool or junior kindergarten is hard.
Anonymous says
Omg no this is nutso behavior. Do not passively aggressively e-mail every single week just to maybe prompt them to let you know about behavior issues. Do not email every week at all! If you want to be informed if he gets sent to the principals office, ask the teacher to do that.
Anon says
+1 – teachers (like pretty much everyone else) like direct communication. If you want to be informed about when he’s sent to the principal’s office, ask the teacher to tell you when he’s sent to the principal’s office. Don’t send a vague email fishing for information. I also think many teachers wouldn’t respond to the email example you gave because it doesn’t ask any questions. “Kid enjoyed X activity, hope the week went well” does not merit a response imo.
Anonymous says
“nutso” was really unnecessary. We try to keep the tone around here a litte more civil than the main site.
She’s working full time and doesn’t seem them at pick up or drop off. Scheduling a meeting isn’t that helpful for an ongoing relationship. Sharing which activities your kid liked is a normal thing that parents do. Sometimes it’s in person at drop-off, sometimes it’s via email. Emails don’t necessarily require a response from the teacher but in my experience, when I have an ongoing email relationship with a teacher, they are quicker to mention smaller issues vs. if it escalates within the class to the principal and then routes home. We’ve always had a great relationship with our daycare teachers and kindergarten teachers. They have said they appreciate the feedback on which activites were particular memorable or discussed at home.
Anonymous says
Disagree that scheduling a meeting isn’t that helpful for an ongoing relationship. IMO, it starts that relationship off on the right foot which benefits everyone all year long.
RR says
As a parent of 3 kids, all of whom have gone to the principal’s office at least once, I would definitely encourage the teacher to keep you in the loop on those issues so you can reinforce good behavior at home. It doesn’t have to be a big negative thing because, as another poster said, this is fairly age appropriate, particularly for more energetic/rambunctious kiddos. Even my fairly well-behaved 6 year old has visited the principal because she was playing a game with another child that involved hitting (she told us that the boy “didn’t mind”). My oldest had us on a first-name basis with the principal throughout elementary (a number of neurological issues play into that), and communication was always the key. I sincerely doubt that your 4 year old will have similar issues, but I know from personal experience how much I hated the surprise of finding out there was a recurring issue I’d never known about and never had an opportunity to be part of fixing.
I would encourage you to use mostly positive language in talking to him. It seems like that is what his school is doing, and that’s why he’s not upset about it. At age 4, I’d focus more on reinforcing positive behavior and less on discipline for poor behavior (which should occur at school anyway).
Strategy mom says
I like this advice. I’ve had a similar thing happen – my approach was to email and say you want to help reinforce good behavior and can you get more details and any other observations about behavior (phone or email at her discretion). Then I’d try to do preschool drop off once every 6-7 weeks to do a quick pulse check – quickly ask how things are going and if there is anything you can be working on with kiddo at home
Anon says
I’d ask for a conference.
Sarabeth says
On the one hand, I agree that it’s 100% normal for a 4 year-old to be working on self-regulation. They may not have mentioned it to you because it’s nothing unusual to them.
On the other hand, going to the principal’s office strikes me as an odd response. What is their staffing ratio in his classroom? At that age, my older kid struggled a lot with being told no, and would often have a brief tantrum in the classroom. It was within the range of normal, but definitely at the more challenging end of that range. She never went to the principal’s office or anything like that – one of her teachers would take her aside and help her calm down. I’m not sure what the utility of the principal’s office is in a situation like this. With a 4 year-old, it’s massively more likely that it’s a question of the capacity to self-regulate than of true willful defiance. I guess if the principal is coaching the kid through some skills to calm down, that would be useful. If it’s the more traditional stern warning, it seems unlikely to help.
Anon says
Yeah I didn’t even know preschools sent kids to the principal’s office! It makes more sense to me in the elementary school age where a child is being willfully disobedient, and you want to introduce an authority figure who is even more imposing than the teacher. A 4 year old just can’t self-regulate as Sarabeth said, and having a “higher authority” lecture them isn’t going to do anything.
Anonymous says
I didn’t know preschools had principals! I would set up a conference so you can get a better sense of what this really means.
NYCer says
Agreed, I have never heard of a preschooler or pre-K student being sent to the principals office! I definitely would talk to the teacher just as a baseline to understand what warrants a trip to the principal for a 4 year old.
Anonymous says
Ours definitely was sent to the admin office many times if he needed to cool down for a while. Especially as a 3 year old, had a lot of trouble settling down from rambunctious/overly silly play in a room full of kids so they would take him to the “principal’s” office to sit and play quietly for a while.
Anon says
This is a PS-5 school. The PS/K section is separate, right next to the principal’s office. I assume rather than an aide taking the kid out in the hallway, they just go into the sitting room area next to the principal’s office. (Based on stories my son has told me about other friends in his class, although now I’m wondering if some of those stories were autobiographical.) Point taken about understanding what led to that response.
Thanks for the advice everyone. I think I’ll send the teacher a note and ask her to keep me in the loop if he continues to be sent out of the classroom, and ask if there’s anything I can do at home to help reinforce the behavior she wants to see. I like your point about positive language, RR, so maybe there are some phrases I can use at home.
Anon says
When calculating maternity leave/fmla, do you include holidays where the office is otherwise closed? From what I can tell our policy is silent on the issue.
anon says
I argued this and they said yes. So days where everyone was off still counted as a day of my leave. I pushed on this and didn’t get very far.
Anon says
Me too.
Anonymous says
My disability portion of my leave it didn’t matter if it was a holiday. My other firm paid portion the holidays didn’t count and I didn’t have to use a firm paid day. Does this make sense? Your HR should be able to guide you.
Anon says
+1 this. STD, it didn’t matter. Any extra time provided by the company, I get added onto the backend because it doesn’t count as leave.
Anon says
I think your FMLA clock will run regardless of whether the days are holidays but you may not need to use another form of paid leave for that day. My mat leave was a combination of paid sick leave, paid parental leave and vacation days. There was one holiday in there, so I didn’t need to use any other kind of leave on that day. Since paid parental leave and paid parental leave were each capped (6 weeks = 30 work days each), effectively it meant I had to burn one less vacation day to take off the time I wanted (14 weeks total).
EB says
Here ya go: https://www.fmlainsights.com/how-do-employers-calculate-fmla-leave-around-the-holidays/
buffybot says
My office’s policy was very clear that it was weeks that were counted and not total days – meaning that a holiday day did not “add” to my total time off. I think that’s pretty standard.
FVNC says
My first leave was during 4Q, which involved four company holidays (2 each for Thanksgiving and Christmas). My leave was a combination of STD, paid leave and accrued vacation. My manager worked with me to structure each week to maximize the company holidays — so, the first 8 weeks had to be STD but after that we designated some weeks (like T-giving week) as three vacation days + 2 company holidays, and other weeks as my paid maternity leave. She worked really hard to maximize my paid time off, and I’m so grateful. FMLA ran concurrently and wasn’t extended by company holidays.
anne-on says
I think it varies a lot company to company. When I took leave at my old company the policy was that I still ‘accrued’ leave time while on FMLA (earned PTO/holiday time, etc.) but that I would NOT accrue while I was on my firm granted leave. At my current firm however you do not accrue additional PTO while on FMLA OR firm granted leave and any firm-wide holidays are not added on, but that earned PTO can be used to extend your leave.
Anonymous says
At my federal institution, you have to be in a paid status the day immediately before or after the holiday in order to get a paid holiday. I used a combination of sick leave and FMLA after my kids were born, but carefully planned it so weeks that included holidays were weeks I was on paid sick leave, not unpaid FMLA.
Anon says
I’ve been feeling pretty burned out lately and buckled last night and booked a Caribbean cruise for the week after Christmas. It was outrageously expensive because it’s a late booking for a holiday week, but last year I hated that week. Both kids were home from school and restless. The weather was lousy. And all of our friends were out of town. So this year we’ll be out of town too.
Any advice for a first time family cruise? The kids are 6 and 3 (fully potty trained). Did your kids like the kids club or did they resist? Did it feel like a cattle call? Any super successful strategies to make it fun?
Anon says
Ooh fun! Where are you going? Not going to lie, whether or not it feels like a cattle call will depend on the cruise line, but even the crowded megaships will still be fun if you go into it with the right attitude. I have only one kid (3) but she’s never been very interested in doing kids club stuff at resorts. It might be different if she had an older sibling to go with, although I think some cruise lines will split up kids by age so they might not be in the same area.
Anon says
We have stops in Mexico (Cancun and Costa Maya) and Nassau.
The kids will be split up in the kids club because of their ages. I’m hopeful that they’ll be open to the experience because they both loved summer camp last summer, but we’ll have to see.
I’m pretty jaded because we had a tough trip to Disney last spring. Lots of bad luck–bad weather, fire alarms, broken rides, delayed transport, etc–but that was coupled with them finding Disney stressful and overwhelming. They had so many meltdowns despite my best efforts to limit activities and get them lots of sleep. Hopefully they’re both a bit bigger and that this is a bit more self directed. We’ll see.
Anon says
I haven’t cruised with my kiddo yet, but as an adult I find cruises way less stressful than theme parks (the thought of going to Disney gives me hives) so I would assume this would go a lot better, particularly if you’re not devastated about staying on the ship and not doing much at each port (or taking turns with your DH re: who gets off the ship).
anon says
Fun! I went on a Disney cruise with my husband, 4-year-old, and my parents last spring. We had a great time! One piece of advice–if you get to a port where there’s not much to do, stay on the ship and enjoy areas that are typically more crowded or have lines.
DS did not like the kids’ area. He was probably just a little young/socially immature for it–he turned 4 on the cruise, which is the minimum age for the bigger kids’ area, and he’s socially immature. There were several time blocks where parents could take toddlers and preschoolers to a younger part of the kids’ area for a while, and we did that a few times. It seemed like many, many kids loved the kids’ area, so your mileage may vary.
We went to the pool everyday, did a scavenger hunt around the ship, walked around (DS spent an afternoon watching a life boat drill), saw some shows, ate a lot, and hung out in the room. My mom brought some small toys and activities DS had never seen before and gave them out every morning, and that helped keep DS entertained.
Anon says
We’ve done two cruises with our (then) preschooler — in the Caribbean with Disney at 3 and an Alaskan Royal Caribbean Cruise right before she turned 5. We all enjoyed them immensely. She loved the Disney kids club, which was AMAZING and begged to go. She warmed up the RC one, I could tell she was a little disappointed at first, because it wasn’t nearly as cool as the Disney one (and in a shocking display of maturity, she didn’t complain about it) but the counselors were great and she enjoyed the activities they had.
I’d skip Nassau and stay on the ship.
My kid is a good traveler, and I don’t even want to consider Disney until shes 6/7, so I think the cruise will be a lot easier.
anon says
Thanks! Interestingly, my 6 yo had a much harder time with Disney than the 3 yo. I think she was more aware of the plan and when it went awry, whereas the 3 yo just bounced along mostly oblivious. At Disney we had terrible luck with rides breaking down after a long wait or restaurants closing for a kitchen fire or parades getting canceled or massive thunder right as she was about to jump in the fancy pool, all of which completely unnerved her. The extreme anticipation and excitement followed by utter disappointment was just too much. You can’t plan for those sorts of things, but fingers crossed that we have better luck. It can’t be much worse.
SC says
Awww it sounds like you had terrible luck!
We went to Disney when DS was 3, and the teacups broke down as we were getting in line with our Fast Passes to ride them. I remember explaining to DS that the ride was broken, but they were trying to fix it. Fortunately, we were able to return with a Fast Pass after lunch. But he hung onto the memory that the teacups were broken down for MONTHS and brought it up frequently!
Anon says
We’re moving to another city in a couple months and for some reason I thought finding childcare would be easier than it is here in our VHCOL city. But finding spots for both an infant and toddler is proving really hard. And we’re coming from a place we LOVE. There’s an opening at a place that h & i both weren’t very comfortable with – esp the infant room. Trying to decide if we should just pay the deposit to have something lined up? Ughhh. So hard bc we seriously love our current daycare. ?
Anon says
Aw I’m sorry, I’m sure it’s hard to leave a place you love. If it isn’t a big financial hardship I would pay the deposit and keep looking for something you’re more enthusiastic about.
And yeah, LCOL areas can be really challenging for childcare! I live in a small Midwestern city where pretty much every affluent family has a SAHM. It’s actually kind of a status thing – if both parents work it must be because you’re poor and need two incomes *eyreoll*. Anyway, because of all the SAHMs and the fact that most working moms are not very affluent and can’t afford to spend very much on daycare, there really isn’t a lot of quality childcare until you get into preschool for 2-3 year olds. And the limited quality childcare is SO expensive relative to housing. We have a place we love now, but it costs 1.5 times what our single family home mortgage costs for ONE CHILD. My friends in big cities only pay about 1/3-1/2 of their mortgage in daycare for each kid (although of course their mortgages are way higher).
Anon says
DD woke up this morning with a streaming nose and at daycare drop-off her teachers confirmed there’s a cold going around the classroom. We’re supposed to fly Friday and so far every cold she’s gotten has turned into an ear infection on day 3-4, so exactly when we’re supposed to be flying. Flying with an ear infection is supposed to be really painful, right? What would you do? Take her to the ped preemptively right before the trip? Cancel the trip? If it was a vacation I’d be inclined to just cancel and eat the sunk costs but it’s to see my husband’s sister and I know he’ll want to reschedule, at significant additional cost (I’d be fine with him going alone but he doesn’t want to do that because the purpose of the trip is for his sister to see our kiddo).
Anon says
I would see the ped early, explain the situation, ask if they can write a script if kiddo typically needs antibiotics that you can get filled and bring with, and ask about whether there are any decongestants kiddo can take.
Anonymous says
That’s a LOT of ear infections if there’s one with every cold. Are you concerned about overdiagnosis or has your Ped suggested tubes?
Anon says
She’s 20 months but has only been in daycare since April so she hasn’t had that many colds yet. So far three colds (excluding the current one) = three ear infections. Our ped said they generally don’t refer you for tubes until you have 4 infections in 6 months or 6 in one year, so it seems inevitable but we’re not quite there yet.
I’m not concerned about overdiagnosis. We only take her in when she’s clearly miserable and the ped always says the ears are clearly infected, not borderline. And she responds really quickly to antibiotics, so there’s a clear cause and effect with the treatment.
SC says
My 4-year-old had an ear infection on his last flight. We didn’t know beforehand. He’s had tubes for 2 years and hadn’t had an ear infection since getting them. He complained about his ear hurting exactly once earlier that day, then was completely fine. Nobody even knew whether he meant his inner ear or if he’d bumped or scratched his ear on something, and we shrugged it off. The flight, particularly the descent, was extremely painful for him. He screamed and cried in pain for about the last 45 minutes of the flight, and then for the next hour and a half. It was pretty traumatic for all of us. We went straight from the airport to urgent care, where the NP diagnosed him with an ear infection.
So, I would call the pediatrician now. I would also go by the pediatrician’s office or an urgent care on Friday before you fly (or Thursday if you’re flying out early) to make sure the ears are clear. I would not fly with your daughter if you know she has an ear infection.
Anon says
Oh no that sounds horrible! Sorry you all went through that. :(
Anonymous says
I’d call the ped and take her in (if necessary) to see if you can get a prescription for just in case after explaining the situation with flying. If they said no, I’d follow the advice above to visit urgent care or the ped as close to flying as possible (going there and home). If they said yes, I’d probably fill it and give it to her regardless. I’m totally against overuse of antibiotics, but this is an exception that I think is valid. I know many others will disagree, and that’s cool.
CCLA says
I’d do the same, and share the general feelings toward antibiotics. I would also consider benadryl as a decongestant with upside side effect of sleepiness (with a trial run before the flight – with a small group ofpeople it apparently wires them instead of making drowsy).
Anon says
My kiddo is in that small group of people…it’s terrible.
Anon says
My one year old daughter got an ear infection the day before a flight to our family member’s wedding. I took her to the pediatrician who gave us a prescription and said it would be fine to go on the flight the next day.
It was tough. She had a fever the whole trip and cried miserably especially on the way home. I would probably skip the trip in the future, but part of it depends on how your child responds to medication. It didn’t seem to magically solve everything as the pediatrician implied it would. Bring infant Tylenol and use it before each flight – if you want.
lsw says
Any stories of potty-training without a “method”? Everyone I know has done one of the crash course “a fairy stole your diapers and now you have to use the potty” or the “Oh Crap” method type things, and I can guarantee that would not work with my child. I’ve been super worried about potty training because he’s so stubborn, but recently we switched to pull-ups, and he will occasionally use the potty. Apparently yesterday at school he actually asked to use it twice. He says “no” a lot when we ask if he wants to use it, and asks for a diaper instead of underwear. But he is proud when he does use it and occasionally says yes.
Am I just prolonging this by going so gradually, or can that actually work? Surely people did something like that in the olden days, or we wouldn’t have pull ups, right?
AwayEmily says
Could you ask his daycare teachers for tips/advice? And FWIW I think slow and steady is a perfectly reasonable way to potty train. I did the oh crap method (it worked fine) but the thing that I found most irritating about the book was that the author keeps insisting this is the Only Way. Of course it’s not! Different things are gonna work for different people. I think there’s some stuff on the Janet Lansbury site about “potty learning” with a more gradual approach.
Anonymous says
We waited until age 3 and didn’t really use a ‘method’. Went straight to underwear. Insisted they sit and try to go first thing in the morning, after breakfast, before leaving for daycare, before leaving daycare to go home, as soon as we got home, before supper, before bed. In the 3 year old room at daycare they make the kids who are learning try to go every 15-30 mins. Just send lots of extra clothes – we averaged an accident or two a day for the first week and then every second day thereafter.
Daniel Tiger has a cute video and song that was helpful. Our rule was that they had to sit and sing the DT song twice, and if nothing came they could get up. Helpfully this turned into some kind of palovian response that I can now use in situations where they don’t like to go like public bathrooms or friends houses.
anon says
No method, just increasing encouragement and a stubborn kid. He didn’t want to give up diapers until he was fully capable of making it to the potty in time on his own. He didn’t go to kindergarten in diapers, but there was a time I was worried that we’d need potty consultants in the months before kindergarten.
Now that all is fine, I think it was great not to force the issue. Once he decided to wear underwear, he could handle potty timing almost 100% independently.
lsw says
This sounds very much like where we are at. He’s so stubborn and does not at all care about rewards (he just stopped eating M&Ms, previously his favorite candy, because he would rather not use the potty than get M&Ms). But like you, I’m thinking, this will happen before kindergarten, right??
I appreciate all the feedback!
Anonymous says
How old is your son? We didn’t have a method and also trained late. We tried once around 3 because daycare said he was ready and just basically put him in underwear. He kept having poop accidents (daily, in the morning before work, in the tub at night), so we stopped and tried again at 3.5 with success. In hindsight we should have made him sit on the toilet at strategic poop intervals but the schedule wasn’t so clear to us at the time.
lsw says
Turned 3 in July, so not quite 3.5. He’s also not a clockwork pooper, though we’ve actually had more success with pooping on the potty than pee!
you got this says
Full disclosure, we did the Oh Crap method and its worked very well (we’re 6 weeks out). We have pull ups because diaper companies want to keep making money off us as long as they can. If you don’t think a “method” will work you might still skim the book just to get in the right head space about it, if that makes sense? It really eased my anxiety about PT being this big huge terrible thing we had to figure out. Our big takeaway was that this was a skill we needed to teach, so asking him if he wants to use the potty when he has another option he knows and is comfortable with could be a real challenge, and pull-ups feel just like diapers. Part of pt is feeling that peeing your pants is messy and wet, which doesn’t really happen in pull-ups or diapers. And yes, their pride when they use the potty is amazing and so cool.
anon says
One thing you can do is to make going to the potty a social thing. Before you even start training for real, you can have him try to go to the potty every time anyone else goes. Just set it up as an expectation as part of the routine (without making it a battle).
Time to go to the store? Okay. Let’s all go potty first.
Home from the store? Okay. Time to go potty and wash our hands
Etc.
For a time, my 2 yo liked have her picture taken in new bathrooms. Weird? Yes. Effective reward? Yes.
EB0220 says
We didn’t really do a method. With both kids we just picked a long weekend and had them run around bottomless for a day. Then when they seemed OK we tried a few short outings, then underwear to daycare on Monday. With both there were a few accidents the first week and then mostly all good.
Anon says
That IS the Oh Crap method. I think OP you are doing yourself a disservice by rejecting “methods” when it’s really just advice and troubleshooting – maybe you don’t need it, but it can’t hurt. I found the book helpful.
Anon says
I don’t know, I’m with OP and just planning to wing it. DD is just over 2 and not ready yet, but we’re going to do a slow and gradual approach once she is given her temperament. I never made it though a single baby, parenting or pregnancy book, so in my parenting journey I have found that I am not a book person. I remind myself that my parents muddled through just fine, so there’s hope for me yet. If that doesn’t work maybe we’ll go down the rabbit hole, but I certainly don’t think I am (or OP is) off her rocker.
Anon says
Hard same.
Anon says
You do you. I don’t think everyone has to be a book person.
BUT, there have been books about child raising since at least the 60s (and I suspect before that, it’s just the earliest one I know of). Unless you have actually asked your parents, you don’t know if they used a book, relied on advice from friends and family (which isn’t that dissimilar from an advice book), or made it up as they went along
Anonymous says
I didn’t read the book, but did do something that approximated the oh crap method. It worked better with one kid than the others. Then I pivoted to other things. You can totally wing it, but there is not much new under the sun with approaches to potty training. You’re familiar (if nothing else, from reading this s1te) with the most common tactics and you can borrow from as many methods as possible to find what works for you and your kid. I was ready to be done with diapers sooner rather than later and started making a concerted effort around 2-2.5, but you do you!
Anonymous says
We 100% winged it. We waited til my son was really interested in learning himself (3.5ish). We took him to Target and let him pick out “big boy underwear” so he got ones with characters he liked. We asked often if he needed to sit on the potty. I think he had maybe 5 accidents total, and only one #2 accident, which was long after he had been trained and a fluke thing.
anon says
I recently thawed out my frozen eggs (frozen when I was 35) and my hopeful transfer is set for tomorrow. I went from 19 eggs down to 7 day 3 embryos, so i’m hoping at least a few make it to day 5 or day 6. Would appreciate any and all good vibes! This process is nerve-wracking.
Anonymous says
Fingers crossed! I’ll be thinking of you.
Anonymous says
Good luck! I found it helpful to think about how the success rate for a 5-day blast is much higher than for a 3d one (why so many places push for single embryo transfer now) and it’s better to know that they wouldn’t have survived anyway and that even if you only have a couple left at 5 days, those are the best and most likely to implant!
T says
Good luck!
ElisaR says
good luck! i’m sending you positive vibes.
RR says
7 3-day embryos is amazing! Even with a fresh cycle, I never had more than 2 (and transferred at 3 days for that reason). I have 3 IVF kiddos. It just takes one good embryo, and the odds are in your favor. Best of luck to you!!
So Anon says
Good luck!
anon says
OP here, thanks everyone! Praying that my little embryos make it.
Anonymous says
Late in the day, but sending some more good vibes to you!