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Let me put it out there — I do not wear Crocs. But my kids do, so there are several pairs kicking around my house.
If your kids are like mine, I will have to admit these unicorn ones are pretty cute. These comfy slip-on Crocs have all the typical Croc features with the addition of a rainbow unicorn horn and a pair of ears.
These Crocs are $44.99 at Zappos and come in toddler sizes 4–10.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
Cb says
Those are incredible! We saw a Christmas theatre which had an amazing song and dance “I’m a horse with a horn, I’m a un-i-corn!”
Anon says
what are you and your kids eating these days for dinner? i feel like we eat tacos, burgers, eggs for dinner, meatballs and pasta, salmon, chicken nuggets, on repeat. i could use some dinner inspiration.
anon says
We’ve been eating a lot of homemade soups.
Spirograph says
We are in a big dinner rut that includes a lot of tacos & meatballs and pasta, too, but I’m OK with that… less mental energy. Also in our winter rotation:
Lentil/other bean soup (crock pot)
Butternut squash curry (crock pot)
TJ’s steamed dumplings & fried rice
Pierogis with sauteed peppers and onions
Stir fry with pan fried tofu (cornmeal + spices breading)
Shrimp scampi or alfredo
Chicken paprika: Chicken thighs cooked in a bunch of butter, onions, and paprika. Add sour cream at the end to make it creamy and serve over spaetzle or egg noodles. Homemade spaetzle is most delicious, but dried is a million times easier.
Anon says
Pulled pork sliders, meatball sliders, roast pork tenderloin, brisket (braised meat of any kind is generally a hit), chicken stew, beef stew, or chicken noodle soup/chili if your kids do soup.
Anonymous says
Do your kids like soup? Mine do if we let them add tortilla chips- Washington Post has an Ecuadorian potato soup that is pretty mild flavored and really good with chips and avocado added. Also we make chicken milanese, which is basically just fancy fried chicken, and the kids like that too. But honestly my husband and I really like cooking and trying new recipes and refused to be constrained by the kids picky eating when dinner is usually their lightest meal anyway. We just make what we want, they have to try a bite, and if they don’t like it there are always cheese sticks, black beans, and fruits and veggies.
Cb says
We do a meal matrix – Monday is portable, Tuesday breakfast for dinner, Wednesday pasta, Thursday Asian, Friday pizza, Saturday clean out the fridge, Sunday new recipe.
H is veggie, I’m dairy-free, kid is carnivorous so we like to do things we can assemble. Salmon instant pot pasta, sushi bowls, waffles, lentil soup, homemade veggie pie.
Anon says
Can you say more about “salmon instant pot pasta?” Do you have a recipe?
Cb says
It’s this one, but I skip the cream cheese and use oatly single cream
https://foodiesterminal.com/instant-pot-salmon-pasta/
You have to use frozen salmon which is pretty cheap at Lidl/Aldi
OP says
edited to add my kids do not like soup and we are kosher, so no pork, shellfish or dishes that involve mixing meat and milk
Anon says
Smitten Kitchen’s pizza beans, baked farro, eggplant parm, or skillet baked pasta with cheese are all favorites around here. My kid doesn’t mind vegetarian food as long as plenty of cheese is involved.
anon says
My kids are hit or miss on soup, but are way more likely to eat it if they can mix in sour cream (a vegan version would work for a meat-based soup for you). We also will serve soup for adults alongside rolls + butter or cheesy garlic bread or something similar and figure if the kids just eat carbs + dairy for dinner it’s not a big deal (though that would only work for vegetarian soups).
Anonymous says
You don’t have to feed them soup as soup. I started my kids on soup by giving them the chicken/ noodles/ veggies/ etc without the broth, and then gradually got them excited about dipping their bread in the broth and now serve them soup in the same way that we eat it. Turns out they like soup, they were just scared of it being too hot sometimes. There a million different soups, seems kind of weird for them to reject it as a category.
Anonymous says
I mean, kids are weird, no? Mine has definitely rejected soup as a category. She’s in a phase where she likes to see all the components of her meal, so she gets the solid parts separately on her plate, with the liquid in a separate bowl or mug if she wants. She’s the same way with casseroles.
Anonymous says
My son is super picky but we have discovered that if we put pesto or peanut sauce on chicken and pasta, he loves it. Similarly, he likes chicken satay.
anon says
sheet pan dinner: crunchy chickpeas with roasted sweet potatoes and roasted broccoli
Anonymous says
this sounds delicious!
Anon says
Kids (3 and 1) are really into roasted sweet potato, broccoli and carrots these days. Chop up the root veggies, douse in olive oil, into the oven at 425 for 22 min, then add in the chopped broccoli (also mixed with olive oil) for 11 min.
DLC says
Tofu stir fry, usually with Udon noodles. fried rice. Curry, usually tofu or chick peas. Nachos (which is like tacos…). Breakfast sandwiches. Pasta salads. We do also have soup fairly frequently.
anon says
We try to have a rotation of pasta recipes, so we eat pasta once a week but it’s different kinds. Curry/dal/chili, e.g. a sauce with legumes served over rice. Roasted tofu/veg/sauce bowls are also a hit, because everyone can customize them to their own preferences. My kids prefer peanut sauce, but there are other options as well. Enchiladas/quesedillas can be subbed in for tacos.
We don’t really have a set schedule, but over a week I try to think of something rice-based, something pasta-based, a soup (or salad in summer), something meat-based, something Mexican, and then fill in the gaps with other things.
Anonymous says
I have a very not at all picky 4 year old eater, here is what w have eaten in the last few weeks for dinners – homemade black bean burgers (ATK recipe) with mashed sweet potatoes (I didn’t have it in me to make French fries), lasagna with Italian sausage (not kosher I know, throwing it out for others who may want an idea), chicken marsala (heavy on the mushrooms in the sauce) with sautéed spinach, zoodles with meat sauce (and spaghetti noodles mixed into kiddos dish), meatloaf with mashed potatoes and asparagus, and chicken tiki masala with rice.
Anony says
A bunch of dinners from our house from the past few weeks:
Roasted chicken thighs and drumsticks with sweet potatoes and broccoli
Pasta with green sauce (there are many versions of this, my favorite is Julia Turshen’s with spinach, basil, feta, cream cheese, and garlic)
Miso black bass with any veggie
Merguez with zucchini and couscous
Black pepper tofu with eggplant and rice
Cauliflower black bean tacos (sorry!)
Pasta bolognese
Chicken cutlets in various flavor profiles/veggies
Anonymous says
I’m in the same boat as you. Quick meal Monday, fish Tuesday, crock pot meal Wednesday (usually chicken), leftovers Thursday, pizza Friday. I purchased a few meal plans with grocery lists from a friend who’s starting up a small business. Tbh I haven’t used them yet because it’s been so crazy I just need to make something I already have memorized. But that might be an option for you: I’m seeing a lot of people on Instagram offer this service.
Anon says
My kids are very picky but will eat chicken satay (“chicken on a stick”), so we often do that with some crispy baked tofu, roasted broccoli, roasted red pepper, peanut sauce, and rice. They really only eat the chicken and rice but whatever.
Boston winter help says
I know many of you live in the northeast. I need winter clothing help! I have a work trip to Boston in February for a trial in federal court (I’m a lawyer). What kind of outdoor gear do I need? I live in the south so barely own a coat! Just not sure what to expect in terms of coat, shoes, gloves, etc. I assume I’ll need to wear all of this over my suit and swap shoes once I get to court. Another point of reference, likely to stay a hotel 1-2 blocks from the court, so not a long walk. Thanks!!
Anon says
In downtown Boston assume that the sidewalks will be shoveled and salted so you won’t need snow boots, but you’ll want a relatively low, stable heel. I find it easier to wear stockings and change from waterproof boots into heels to avoid getting salt/slush on my suit pants, but if you prefer pants then low block heeled dress boots should be fine.
For that short of a distance I’d just wear whatever winter coat/gloves you do have and avoid buying anything new. If you DO want a new winter coat they’re all on sale this time of year so you have my permission to use this as an excuse to grab one ;)
Anon says
Depends to some degree how hung up you are on looking professional…so I’ll give you two options!
Most Prof: Knee length wool coat, cashmere beanie, cashmere gloves.
What I (a fellow trial lawyer who hates cold) do: Ski jacket/puffy coat, cashmere beanie, ski mittens. I put everythign away once I get to the courtroom anyway so I don’t worry about looking like a skiier going in and out of the courthouse.
In either case you’ll want some snow boots as you may need to walk in the snow – given the short walk you can otherwise probably brave it in court shoes, but you really can’t do that if it snows so you’ll need to be prepared. Look at Sorels.
If you wear skirt suits/dresses you’ll want some thick opague black tights also.
Anon says
+1 to the righ shoes in case it does snow. I was in Boston with a colleague from London a few years back in March or April and a snowstorm blew in. By the time we got out of work there were 3-4 inches on the ground of thick, wet, late winter snow. I had to give her my snowboots, gloves and a hat to walk back to her hotel in because she only brought ballet flats and heels along with a Ted Baker wool coat and a thin scarf (this was pre-pandemic, I had an office pair of Merrels for emergencies).
anonM says
+1. Midwest here, and also hate being cold. Walking in heels vs walking in heels in snow/ice/slush/salt etc is very different and I hate it. A scarf adds a lot of warmth for little space. Also, no idea what your trial setup/budget is, but if it is really bad weather you will not want to be the one toting files in rolling carts/bags through slush in heels. Bring a backup phone charger thingy in case you stuck anywhere due to weather, too.
Anon says
Assuming you’re going to Moakley courthouse in the Seaport, if Boston is bad weather, that location will be much worse. It is a wind tunnel in the best of times, and floods in the worst of times. Hopefully it won’t be worse than chilly + dry when you visit, but if there’s a snowstorm in the ~36 hours before, be prepared for very bad curb puddles / sidewalk wetness and very windy. On the plus side, even in very formal industries in Boston, we all wear parkas every day to get around over our business attire. Once it gets above 30, you’ll start seeing people swap out the parkas for wool coats instead. Hats and gloves are common too up to ~35-40 degrees. If it’s dry, most people do not swap shoes, but in general more women wear “out of style” waterproof boots (e.g., Aquitalia / Blondo type style) as part of daily wear in the city than in other more fashion forward places.
Anonymous says
I love the look of wool coats but they are not practical in the snow. 90 percent of attorneys will be wearing long black down puffers. For a short walk you won’t need a hat, but I would have some sort of gloves. Scarf and hat if you will venture farther to restaurants. Don’t wear your court shoes on the street because salt will wreck them. I wear Aquatalia boots to walk around snowy cities but for a trial I would probably walk in snow boots and swap for shoes at court. I prefer knee-length dresses and skirts to pants for walking around cities in the winter. Pants drag in puddles and get splattered with salt.
Runner says
I would love this community’s advice. My five year old has been in full time Montessori preschool last year (ages 3-4) and then this year (turned five a few months ago). She…still doesn’t recognize her numbers? Or says she can’t. Ditto with letters. It’s hard for me to tell because she immediately checks out when I ask her anything, or when I incorporate numbers/letters into daily life (so, if she asks when dinner is I’ll say — I set a timer, can you see that number there?, and she’ll say I don’t know my numbers, and then freak out if pushed). I have been trying not to push at all. Parent teacher conference last fall was “she is not behind for a preschooler (will enter K next year) which was phrasing I found odd.
The further challenging dynamic is her twin brother loves school, loves numbers and letters, is close to starting to read, and is generally kind of a mansplainer about it (if a toddler can be a mansplainer?).
I haven’t talked to her teacher yet, I’d love this community’s advice about if and how that should happen, how much I should push teacher, if I need to back off completely and give it a bit more time, etc. This has been simmering for me for a while.
anon says
I would be concerned, too. I mean, part of the school part of preschool is learning that so she’s prepared for kindergarten. If it’s been eating at you for awhile, I think now is the time to speak up, when the teacher still has a chance to help you do something about it. How much class time is spent on those skills? Asking because it’s Montessori, and I’m honestly not sure.
Runner says
So it’s really self-directed, especially for pre-k. Her teacher loves her and comments on how much she loves stories, she comes home with “books” (that are pictures) about things. She just doesn’t seem to care about the steps to get to reading (or doesn’t understand them bc she’s five).
Anon says
Does she recognize any letters or numbers? Can she write her name?
If she’s in pre-k they should be working on that at school, I think for the most part when starting K kids are expected to recognize most letters/numbers. She’s still really young so I wouldn’t be stressing but would probably want to know what they’re doing in school to work on these points.
Runner says
Thank you! Maybe just checking in and asking what they ARE doing to work or letters or numbers and if there’s any way to support.
Anon says
This depends somewhat on your school’s expectations for kindergarten but I wouldn’t worry too much. My daughter didn’t attend a Montessori preschool but her letter identification didn’t really gel until spring of her pre-K year when she was 5 and at her beginning of K assessment they scored her as 18 out of 26 for letter recognition (even though I would have said she knew all her letters by that point). She is doing more than fine and was above 90th percentile on standardized testing they had this month. There were definitely kids in her K class who didn’t know any letters besides their name at the beginning of the year.
anonamommy says
I think this is where you need to trust your gut. Full-time preschool for a year and a half is enough time for her to recognize numbers and letters (writing them may be a different story). Is it possible something else is going on — have you had her eyes checked? Can you incorporate some educational shows like Sesame Street that will emphasize letter and number identification? Is her response of “I don’t know my numbers” consistent with other oppositional or disengaged behavior from her, or is it unusual? Is she not learning to differentiate herself from her brother?
Also – does your area have an Early Intervention program through the school system? Where I am, you can self-refer to the program to have your child screened for any additional supports before they enter K. If that’s available, you might start there.
Anon says
OP needs to first start by talking to the teacher. Maybe her daughter knows all of this stuff, but like the poster below likes to pretend she doesn’t/doesn’t want to do it at home.
Anon says
Eh, not necessarily an issue. I posted above that my kid didn’t start really recognizing letters until spring of her final year of preschool and she was in full time daycare/preschool from age 1. She hated (and still hates) doing anything related to letters or sounding out words at home (but loves being read to and doing math problems, go figure). She’s doing very well in K. I’ve heard from a lot of people that kids resist reading practice and then suddenly stop resisting and it just clicks. I don’t think resistance to practice at home is weird, particularly if they have a twin for whom it comes easier.
Runner says
So I am noting some disengagement in general — not wanting to participate in games, she doesn’t do puzzles, doesn’t like cooperative games, seems socially disengaged on the playground after school. I’m not sure what this could mean tho?
Anonymous says
In our area Early Intervention screening is free and even though we ended up not qualifying for services I found the meeting to review the evaluation extremely helpful. The only downside is it’s probably a few hours away from work.
Anon says
The social disengagement would be a much bigger red flag to me than the lack of knowing letters, which a decent number of kids don’t master until the end of Pre-K or even later. But I think the teacher is your best resource on all these issues.
Anon says
this is an ask the teacher kind of question. you don’t need to push the teacher, but ask the teacher if your daughter can do these things in class. i have a kindergartener (who is also a twin) who refuses to read at home. she likes being read to, listening to audio books, etc. but doesnt want to try to do it herself. her twin sister is much more enthusiastic about trying to read. Twin A also has an insane memory, so Twin B will be reading a book out loud, trying to sound out words, struggling with a word and Twin A will blurt it out from across the room without even seeing the book. I messaged the teacher and she said “Twin A is always happy to read aloud to the class, independently and help others with their reading. I wouldn’t push her at home. We read all day long at school. I would continue reading to her, let her listen to audiobooks and providing easy readers she can read alone, but not require it.” so perhaps your daughter is like mine in that she can do things, but prefers not to share it with us.
Anonymous says
You know your child best. That being said, I have a perspective for you. My oldest went to Montessori from 18 mo – age 5. I put him in public Kindergarten. He could not write his name, didn’t recognize all his letters at age 5 when starting kinder. His kinder teacher was new: she’s big on FUN and learning is a bonus. This year he’s in first grade and TBH it has been a struggle. But! He’s making progress and he’s “at grade level” on his report card. His (strict but kind) first grade teacher is happy with his progress but we are both working with him. I was FREAKING OUT before Christmas because he wasn’t reading. But now he is. I also have twins so I know how hard it can be not to compare the two. Anyway, all that to say: if you’re worried, talk to the teacher. Approach it from a place of curiosity. It may all work out ok without any interventions. I think this board skews early intervention and that’s great! But it’s also ok just to wait and watch sometimes. This is partly about the kid and partly about what helps you sleep at night.
anonM says
“Approach it from a place of curiosity.”
+1.
FWIW, DS in preschool didn’t do well on his “evals” they gave to just try to gauge which letters/numbers kids knew, and it was hard for me and for the teachers to tell how much was what he actually knew vs how much he was just avoiding a task, trying to be funny, etc. He did get diagnosed in K with ADHD, and avoiding hard tasks is part of that for him. Just something to keep an eye on. But, from a strictly academic sense I would not panic. My preschool expert aunt would probably remind you kids go at their own pace.
Anon says
I hate to say it, but I think “behind” also depends on where you are and if you are sending your child to public or private Kindergarten. My kids go to public school and there is no expectation that kids know numbers or letters upon entering K because the students come from such a wide range of backgrounds and opportunities.
I agree, though, ask the teacher and find out what is going on in the classroom and if she is having the same reaction in the classroom to attempts to teach her – that is a big part of the picture, I think.
FWIW – my oldest didn’t learn to read until second grade, and it also caused me a lot of stress, but she is now a voracious reader at 12.
anon says
Yeah, this depends a huge amount on your community and intended further school choices for her. I live in an extremely wealthy area where almost no one sends their kids to public schools (our catchment areas are huge bc so few students attend). Our kid is in a 3-year-old program at a preschool that is a feeder to the local privates, and they are doing very focused work on letter and number recognition. The expectation at those private schools (which mostly start in K) is that an incoming kindergartener will be able to recognize all letters/numbers and write many of them, including their names. They start reading instruction in K. There’s a little bit of flex in that, but that’s the norm and so the preschools are geared to that. My mom, meanwhile, taught public kindergarten in this area for years, and the expectation there is that kids will have those skills when leaving K and entering 1st, so they’re prepared to learn to read in 1st.
Anon says
My kid is learning to read in K in a not particularly fancy public school, so I think not doing anything more than letter recognition/writing in K is a little unusual, at least these days (I think K was less academic 20+ years ago). But at this age there’s so much variation in where kids start out – my daughter’s K class had kids who were reading chapter books at the start of the year, and kids who didn’t know their letters. My impression is that the teacher is doing a good job moving the whole class along and every kid has made a lot of progress from where they started. Most of the class now seems to be reading at least CVC words and some basic sight words and the year is barely half over.
Anonymous says
Unpopular response but I only find this mildly concerning. She might just not be ready developmentally. Ask the teacher. My 4yo boy knows his numbers and this is without working on it much – number puzzles, clip and count Montessori cards. But he only knows the letters in his name. He’s a late summer birthday so we’re delaying kindergarten. It’s not totally out of the norm.
Anon says
Yeah I’m kind of surprised by the responses. Kindergarten is at least 7 months away — that’s a looong time in little kid world, and I would not be worrying about this yet.
But I do agree with talking to the teacher and seeing what they say. They know what the expectations of the local schools and are in the best position to give advice. If they’re concerned, of course you should be proactive. But if they’re not concerned, I wouldn’t be either.
Runner says
Thank you! I think it’s the lack of progress combined with disengagement and lack of confidence that has me a bit worried. I can ask the teacher about all three.
Anon says
The latter two are completely normal at this age, in my opinion. My kindergartner can read the very simple early reader books (like “Mat sat on the cat”), but absolutely refuses to do it at home. Apparently she’s much more cooperative at school.
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t underestimate the twin thing, either. One of my kids picked up reading a few months before the other and twin B would just say “I can’t read, only A can” rather than actually trying.
Allie AB says
I have one kiddo who is adverse to responding to anything he feels like he is being “quizzed” on. When he was that age, I would get him to read me the numbers on a digital clock – e.g., “I’m not sure if we have time that before dinner…I’m doing this paperwork/dinner prep, etc so I can’t check…could you read me the numbers on the clock so I can decide?”
Something like this might help you get at whether your kiddo knows but doesn’t want to “perform” numbers for you, or truly doesn’t recognize.
DLC says
The clock! Yes! With my very early morning rising kids I started telling them to come back to me when the first number was a 7.
Anon says
Yeah, my kid learned numbers when she was 4.5ish because we bought her a clock and told her she couldn’t come out until the first number was 7. Then she started learning math too, because she wanted to know how many more minutes she had to stay in her room haha
Vivian says
Is it an AMI-recognized Montessori school? If so, it is not *totally* self-directed; there is a progression that children are nudged toward. If it is a preschool that claims to use Montessori methods/materials, then IDK, and it may be fully up to your daughter to choose what to learn. In my experience (which is observing the classes of my three kids in Montessori school from toddler to upper el), five year olds at Montessori schools can, at a minimum, decode and encode words (using the moveable alphabet – not necessarily by writing) and do addition with the help of manipulatives (golden beads, number rods, stamp game). I would push the teacher a little bit on where she is in the materials and where she would be expected to go next.
That said, she may not want to show you at home – my oldest went to a Spanish immersion Montessori school and completely refused to speak a word of Spanish at home; I truly didn’t know if she could until I overheard her chatting fluently with our housekeeper one day.
Anonymous says
This is the problem with many Montessori programs. They don’t make the kids do anything they don’t want to do, and they rely on older kids to teach the younger ones. I have a nephew who attended Montessori K-8 and could not interpret literature or write an essay in high school or college because he was allowed to spend all his time playing with math manipulatives while avoiding the subjects he found difficult. Perhaps not all Montessori programs are this way, but too many are.
Anon says
But not having to do academic work you don’t want to do in pre-K is very different than avoiding work you don’t want to do in 8th grade. I would not want Montessori upper elementary and middle school for the reasons you mention, but avoiding academic work or having more self-directed work in preschool and early elementary school is not a bad thing. A kid is not going to graduate high school unable to write an essay because they went to Montessori preschool. That’s just fearmongering (and I’m not a Montessori fan personally, it wasn’t the right fit for my kid).
Childcare Help says
I’m in analysis paralysis and could use some help. Our jobs are in flux which is making this really hard to figure out. Here are the facts:
Kids:
– DD1 is 5 and in kindergarten. Currently we’re paying for after care and will separately need to pay for summer care.
– DD2 is 2 months old and needs childcare starting March 1.
– We currently have an excellent nanny candidate available and a daycare spot if we want it. If we use nanny, 5 year old would not need after care or summer care.
– Incremental cost between nanny scenario and daycare/aftercare scenario is about $12,000. We can afford this TODAY.
Jobs:
– I have a good job but income fluctuates heavily with financial markets. I have guaranteed income until 6/30/25, so about 18 months. After then I’m subject to 100% commission, which can be $$$$ when financial markets are good, but that’s a long ways away – like 2026 or beyond. After 7/1/25 I may just say forget it and find a new, salaried job or if there are enough green chutes, I’ll say to ride the wave back up again.
– DH is getting laid off thanks to his company being acquired. His last day is April 30 and has severance for 6 months, through October. He’s gotten to a few interviews, one final round this week actually, but no offers yet. He’s employable but it’s stressful, clearly, because he doesn’t have a job. We definitely acknowledge that his job hunt has spanned a pretty brutal time of year (started in late Nov when we got notice). He’s NOT in tech or any industry under real stress right now, which is good.
With all the uncertainty in our jobs, what do we do for childcare?! Nanny is 10000% better for our family logistically. We’ve had both daycare and nanny in the past with DD1 so we know benefits/pitfalls of both fwiw. I also think DD! will be MISERABLE in 9-5 care all summer, but maybe she just has to suck it up…
Taking severance in to account, we’re covered until October 31. At that point we’d need to either really dial back retirement contributions for me (which we can do) to cover either or dip in to savings. I don’t have any reason to think DH won’t get a job by October but also…. who knows? DH at one point said if he didn’t have a job by June we’d drop childcare to save the money while he job hunted, but then we sacrifice a daycare spot, aftercare spots and/or the nanny. Plus I tend to think he can’t care for a baby while also job hunting, interviewing, etc. Also, what if he magically got a job in July! Then we’d have to start childcare hunt all over again, probably having missed some key signup windows for the 5 year old.
Help…? Feels ridiculous to have a nanny when DH doesn’t have a job secured. But the incremental cost between nanny vs daycare/aftercare/summer care isn’t that great when it comes down to it. Ugh. I don’t know. Any thoughts?
Anon says
how will DD do at home with a nanny all summer/after school with a baby in the mix? this is very different than a nanny just for one child who can attend to their needs versus catering to both kids. i say you do what works best for your family now and reevaluate if DH doesn’t have a job by October. if DH is employed by the summer maybe you can also afford some part time camps for the 5 year old? if DH is not, maybe DH can do a few days or half days of fun things with the 5 year old so she isn’t stuck being on the baby’s schedule all the time, or visa versa – nanny can go do fun things while DH watches baby
OP says
Thanks for following my ramblings ha. It’s been a lot! We tried for 5 years to have this miracle IVF baby and wouldn’t you know DH gets laid off Friday and baby arrives Monday… anyway, I digress.
Fair question. We plan to send DD#1 to various 1/2 day activities – ballet camp, art camp, gymnastics camp. Nanny was with our friend so we also know she’s really good at the age gap – she’ll have no problem going to the playground, the local zoo, etc. The paid activities aren’t free and it’s not part of the cost I’m considering in the calculus above, clearly, and they won’t occupy a full week or full day but it’ll be enough (I think).
Anon says
I’ll chime in as a SAHM whose kids have always been home with me all summer (with babies and younger siblings) and it’s been great. We fit in outings most days, even if that’s just to the library or playground, and love the rest of the time to hang at home. My kids don’t really do any camps or activities until they are older elementary, so your list is plenty. A slow summer is one of my favorite memories as a kid and something I’m glad to experience again with my own children
Anon says
Having siblings to play with is a huge factor. though. That’s very different than being home all summer as an only or with your only sibling being six months old. My 5 year old is an only child and although she enjoys having down time, playing by herself and spending lazy summer afternoons at her grandma’s pool, she would definitely go stir crazy without seeing any kids her own age. In a few years OP’s kids can probably play together somewhat, even if they’re not into the exact same things, but a six month old is not going to be a play mate for a 5 year old.
Anon says
I know, but at one point I had a baby who wasn’t a playmate. And like I mentioned, we did go to playgrounds where they found other kids or made bigger outing plans with friends. It depends on the temperament of the child a bit, but “socialization” can be an overblown fear. OP said she’s planning some activities, which sound good, and I’m reinforcing that she doesn’t have to go crazy scheduling her daughter out of fear of boredom
Anon says
I didn’t say the kid needs activities “for socialization” in the sense that they won’t develop normally if they spend a summer at home with a nanny and infant sibling. I just think many 5 year olds would be lonely and sad without some more structured opportunities to interact with peers. Mine definitely would, but she’s pretty extroverted.
Anonymous says
I’m also a SAHM and my kids are home all summer except a week of 1/2 day VBS. We plan playdates with friends, go to children’s concerts, go to the pool and splash parks a lot. My DD will go to one full-week camp for the first time but I don’t think my kids have ever been bored. I think as long as you get out and your kids see some friends regularly they won’t be too bored.
Anonymous says
Get the nanny. Less stressful for before/after care and fingers crossed the baby would get sick a little less than daycare, so taking less sick leave.
Anon says
I’d lean towards a nanny in your shoes, but I wouldn’t budget $0 for summer care for the 5 year old. The baby will still be napping a lot and it won’t be much fun for her to be home all summer with the nanny and an infant, so I’d definitely consider some half day camps or other activities. We don’t need summer care, but are spending about $2k on half day camps for my 5 year old. And we’re in a LCOL area. I’m sure it could easily be double that much in the Bay Area or NYC.
NYCer says
+1. I would 100% get the nanny, but plan on signing your 5yo to a few activities, classes or half-day camps this summer as a supplement.
Momofthree says
Agreed what others have said re: a sick baby & day care. Not that the baby won’t get sick w/ a nanny but it happens less often. If it’s also better for your older child, I would say it feels like the nanny is a better choice for your family. We made the decision to have a nanny after my second was born b/c my first child was already struggling in daycare & we couldn’t have handled two of them being sick. Excellent nannies are also not something to pass up.
People have to change their care situation for all kinds of reasons all of the time. If you feel like a nanny is in your budget now and you’re comfortable making that commitment until October, then do it :) It would be a kind thing to do to let the nanny know that the situation might change in September/October time frame and make sure they are ok with it, but you don’t have to.
Just because you have a nanny now doesn’t mean you have to commit to having a nanny forever. If your husband doesn’t have a job in October, you reassess. If your salary goes down in 2026, you reassess. If you change jobs you reassess. Once your little one goes to school, you will probably reassess again.
OP says
Thanks (and to everyone else). I guess I get really anxious about hitting October, DH has no job and then what. But I also guess at that point he literally becomes a SAHD while we figure stuff out. Right?
Re: illness. DD1 was sick SO OFTEN in her first year. I have a really good and flexible job, and I was so afraid I was going to lose it given how often I was out or “working from home”, which was way less acceptable pre COVID. So, the point about nanny vs daycare relative to illnesses is def not lost on us.
anonamama says
yes, pivot to the SAHD model if needed… if Oct rolls around and there’s no new opportunity here. I can sense (and relate) to the anxiety of being laid off and uncertainty about next steps. But with severance, childcare in place, it sounds like your family’s mental health/day to day/ will be one less thing to worry about if you go with the nanny. good luck!
Anonymous says
Get the nanny. Once the new school year starts, if DH doesn’t have a job yet, I would look at shifting to SAHD or a nanny share situation. Guaranteed childcare a couple days a week would be helpful for the job hunt.
Anonymous says
Has anyone had a good experience doing a vacation with extended family at a beach resort, NOT an Airbnb? And if so, what made it work?
I need to help plan a trip with DH’s family for next year. We’ll be a group of 13, with ages ranging from 3 to 79. Because of some complicated family dynamics, DH and I think it’s for the best if everyone has their own room and space to return to at the end of the day. Having everyone under one roof tends to backfire. (If it were just me we would not all take a trip together, because of the way his family fights, but that’s not an option.)
I think my main concern is finding a place that a) works for both little kids and college kids, and b) can easily handle a group of 13 at dinner every night. Any suggestions on where to go or what to look for? Ty!
Anon says
Yes, we’ve had good vacations with grandparents at beach resorts. ‘m close to my parents, but they’re tough travel companions and a beach resort is the best way to travel with them. I would NEVER want to be in an Airbnb with them. We didn’t have the logistical challenges of being such a large group. I think most resorts can handle large groups though – they’re used to extended families traveling together.
As for something that works for both little kids and college kids, look at beach resorts with kids clubs and waterparks. Little kids can go to the kids programming, big kids can go to the water park. Beaches Turks and Caicos is great if it’s in the budget.
Anonymous says
Yes- check out all inclusives in Mexico. We had also done a previous airbnb and I vowed never again because of the annoyance around meal planning and cleaning, which an all inclusive totally eliminates. That said, there are a lot of price points and variety, and if someone is cost sensitive that can make planning tricky. My in laws paid for everyone when we went which eliminated that point of friction. And while food quality can GREATLY vary at these, a buffet is a much easier way to handle everyone’s food preferences.
Anon says
+1, differing budgets are likely to be the biggest pain point in planning this kind of thing. My parents are more affluent than us, so when we travel with them we always go to somewhere that’s at the upper end of our budget range and it’s really nice. But my in-laws have a much stricter budget than us and when we did a trip to Mexico with them and my SIL & BIL a few years ago, we ended up at a really low end resort that I thought was pretty awful, especially the food (and I’ve been to a bunch of all-inclusives so I know you can’t expect gourmet food).
(When I mentioned this on the main page once I was told I had no right to complain because we should have paid for their rooms at a better resort. But affording one room at a nice resort doesn’t mean we can’t afford three of them! I’m also not sure they would have accepted even if we’d been able to afford it. I think they would have found it pretty insulting to be told “your resort sucks, we’re paying for everyone to go to a better one.” FWIW they LOVED the tacky resort and still talk about how great the trip was. But I don’t have any plans to travel with them again, at least not to an all-inclusive resort.)
Anon says
an all inclusive or a cruise will be your friends. someone takes charge of the meal reservations and you all meet for a meal daily, otherwise everyone can be on their own
anonM says
We have done a few versions of this, very low budget, with friends or family. One place had family cabins, with a common courtyard with picnic tables and a bonfire pit. The other had separate motel rooms, but similarly a common courtyard, beach access, volleyball court, a playground, etc. Both were really nice options. We could put our kids to bed, grab the baby monitor, and still go hang out with everyone playing yard games, etc. You’re close, but still have some space to say “our family is having quiet time now, bye!” For both, one family usually splurged on a bigger room with a larger common area and that was where people tended to congregate if the weather was bad, for cooking, etc. Something to keep in mind if there is a family willing to take that on. (Like, we still had a kitchenette, but grandma had a full kitchen and more windows so it was nice to hang out and food prep in there).
Anonymous says
Cruise! I was anti-cruise until my husband’s stepmother organized her dream cruise with all 5 kids and their families with kids aged 3-15, 21 people in all. We all had to join up for dinner because seating was assigned, and we did one shore excursion together, but otherwise various groupings did things together according to interest and schedules. Dad sat by the pool reading his book, tween grandkids roamed the ship in a pack, Mom and daughters/DILs and kids went to the shows, etc. It was the ideal extended family vacation. We did a Disney cruise which even my anti-Disney husband enjoyed.
Anon says
Just coming here to say…my elementary kid is having issues in school… not like seeing the principal issues but getting frequent negative feedback from the teacher to the point where I’m questioning my parenting.
We started on adhd meds last month, shortage meant we had to change meds/skip days this month. Kid is very bright and great at math but now taking hours to do basic tests/arguing with his teacher/etc.
I’m now convinced I was too easy on him and accidentally taught him that he could negotiate with his teacher (who is lovely but old school) and now the consequences have kid telling me he hates his life. I am just questioning all the well intentioned, firm but loving parenting I have given for years and it’s crushing me. Just venting today.
Anon says
no solutions but hugs. this too shall pass. it will get better. you did not do anything wrong
Anon says
+1 I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s not your fault and you shouldn’t blame yourself. It sounds like a clash between your kid and the teacher’s specific style, which is really tough.
Anon says
Late to this, but we struggled a lot with my kid last year and were constantly told by her teacher that we were bad parents (“in my 30 years of teaching I’ve never encountered a kid like this before, can you explain what you’ve done so that she acts like that” and “you need to teach her to follow rules”, etc). It sucks. Fast forward a year and with the right ADHD meds, she is still extremely stubborn and defiant and much more challenging to parent than your average elem school kid, but is doing pretty okay in class.
Anon says
Omg that is unacceptable that she said those things to you!
Momofthree says
Not sure if you’ll still check here today but it’s not your parenting. My kids just got diagnosed with adhd and at the end of last year things were a disaster and I thought he would have to change schools. This year has been much better. We engaged an education consultant who suggested we keep him at the same school and emphasize the importance of having a flexible teacher. His words were “if you’re calling me week 3 of school next year saying something’s horribly wrong, it’s not that your kids changed, it’s that he has an inflexible teacher.” Your use of the word “old school” leads me to believe this is your teacher. I’d try to get a 504 or IEP in place so that you can start the conversation about having a different teacher.
Anonymous says
You are an awesome parent for recognizing your kid’s needs and getting him a diagnosis and treatment. Does he have a 504 with extra time for tests and possibly testing in a separate room? Meds are great but they are often not enough. With super smart eager-to-succeed ADHD kids it’s often not a discipline or effort problem but an anxiety problem. Schools don’t recognize this and just say the kid isn’t trying.