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Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
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- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Potty Rant says
I am between a rock and a hard place in potty training land. My daughter (who turned 3 in December) has had a complicated medical history with going #2, including a 4-day hospital stay. She has a lot of big emotions around going #2 for that reason (and normal toddler/preschool stuff too I’m sure). We did not start trying to potty train at all until after that hospital stay a few months ago on advice from her GI doctor. After some initial interest and early successes, she is now extremely averse to even sitting on the potty at all. But the problem is, if she doesn’t sit on the potty and try to go #2 every day, she basically leaks into her pull up all day long and ends up with 100000 diaper changes plus a raging diaper rash. If she sits down and actually tries to get it out all at once, the diaper rash problem is solved.
She generally hits milestones pretty late (late roller, late walker, late talker), so I’m inclined to just give her time and assume she isn’t ready yet a la Janet Lansbury. But the horrendous diaper rash and constant leaking is pulling me in the direction of pressuring her to at least sit on the potty and try every day.
This is mostly a rant because I truly don’t think there is a good solution, but if you have been in a similar situation I would love to hear about your experience.
Anon says
My son also was extremely adverse to using the potty after a brief period of liking it. It resulted in all the grossness – leaking, terrible tummy aches, etc. We solved it by increasing the bribe for pooping on the potty. Not sure it was the best path to take because a year later we still sometimes need that bribe but nothing else was working. You can’t make someone poop if they don’t want to (without medicine at least – and we tried that briefly and it was awful).
Anon says
I’d go with bribes. I would hesitate to put a little potty in front of the TV and feed her junk if she’ll cooperate. Maybe a popsicle while pooping? A star chart for a favorite toy if she tries every day? All in all the bribe period is pretty short. It’s just to get over the hump. Once kids are consistently using the potty as a matter of habit, it becomes the new normal.
anonymous says
Leaking suggests encopresis to me. You may have already discussed with urologist but if not definitely reach out. We went through this with my son ages 3.5-4.5. with extensive daily miralax, he’s better now but it took a long time to resolve. Good luck.
Anonymous says
Yes, leaking is not a typical potty training challenge. I’d discuss with the pediatrician or specialist.
Potty Rant OP says
My daughter has leaked poop for a year now unfortunately. At first we thought it was diet, then realized it was a bowel blockage. We did a full inpatient bowel cleanout and she has been on daily miralax now for several months. The leaking stopped for a while when she was both taking the miralax and sitting on the potty to try to empty her bowels every day. The issue now seems to be that the miralax makes her stool very loose, but she is trying to withhold it. She is only partially successful with the withholding, hence the day-long leaking. If I can solve the issue of not wanting to sit on the potty I believe that the issue will be resolved. I will mention it to the doctor, but since the days she poops on the potty she doesn’t leak, I really think that’s the issue.
anon says
What if you give her a diaper to poop in? So she doesn’t wear a pull up to leak in, but has the comfort of the diaper? Granted, you’re punting on that issue, but at least you’ve solved the diaper rash issue for now.
OP says
Daycare requires pull-ups at this point. But, yes diapers do help quite a bit for the rash!
Anonymous says
I think she means giving her a diaper while she sits on the potty?
Anon says
i recently listened to this podcast, which might have helpful info:
https://www.janetlansbury.com/2021/05/problems-with-potty-training-constipation-bedwetting-and-preschool-policies-with-dr-steven-hodges/
AwayEmily says
I’m positive you’ve considered this already but I’ll mention it just in case you’re looking for something else to add to your toolbox. My first struggled with poop and we used glycerin suppositories instead of Miralax. They were very effective. For us at least they also occupied a good space where they were not unpleasant enough that she actively fought against them, but they were definitely something she preferred to avoid (and thus would sit on the potty).
Potty Rant OP says
That’s an interesting strategy! Unfortunately suppositories seem to have no effect on my kid. Grr.
Potty Rant OP says
Thank you all for your comments and commiseration. I think I may have to give in to the bribing tactic for this. I don’t like using food for bribes because I like to keep our relationship to food neutral, but maybe she would sit on the potty for a bit of ipad time.
GCA says
Ok, I finally bit the bullet and was granted a two week leave of absence from work due to unpredictable childcare and the ensuing mental health consequences. We’ve had repeat daycare quarantines and afterschool closures announced Friday for the following week due to staff shortages. DH and I split kid duty evenly, but I’m having worsening insomnia, unable to concentrate during my work hours, not a happy human being during my kid-duty hours, and have a sense of impending doom waiting for the other shoe to drop. We have no family nearby so we’ve been either working or with kids (or both) since Thanksgiving, essentially. I’m fried.
I’m hoping two weeks is enough to get us through the peak of omicron cases here (MA) – we’re planning to keep kids in daycare but I’ll have the flexibility to be ‘on’ if childcare closes or if we quarantine again. What would you do with a two-week leave of absence, apart from hunting for a good therapist? I feel like I’ve forgotten how to just *be* and not *do* all the time.
Cb says
Good for you for asking for what you need. I think you need to give yourself a bit of a routine but give yourself some grace and rest. Do the childcare run and then get drive through coffee and read a book, or do a yoga video, then do whatever household things you need to do.
Anonymous says
We were just on a 14-day stretch without childcare, and one thing that really helped me was getting outside by myself for a little bit. Just taking a short walk to get coffee or to go to the drugstore or something helped me get out of feeling stuck.
Anon says
i’m glad you were able to do this because i recall you posting about your ridiculous number of quarantines and lack of childcare. honestly, you should be interviewed for the news so other people can get a sense of what it’s like with kids under 5 (not like they care).
rest. rest. and rest some more. read a book, go for a walk (if it’s not too cold), watch tv in bed. maybe make some freezer meals to make things easier for when you do have to start working again.
Spirograph says
Good for you, I’m glad you’re prioritizing yourself and taking a break. I’d pick one thing to “do” each day, and then nap and relax without self-judgement. You need it! What makes you happy? I spent the much-needed long weekend (after last week trying to work with a kindergartener at home) clearing space in my house and my head… I read a book, stared at the fire in the fireplace, played the piano, packed up a bunch of stuff that needed to be donated or recycled and got it out of the house, baked bread (yummmm), went for a long walk and talked to my parents on the phone, did a couple of decent workouts. I feel a LOT better today than I did on Friday, and now just crossing my fingers that we can make it through this week with everyone healthy and in school.
AwayEmily says
Picking just one thing to “do” per day is great advice (whether it’s making a freezer meal, sorting old kids’ clothes, or going on a walk). That way you feel some sense of accomplishment and can take the rest of the day to just chill out and relax in whatever way feels good.
Pogo says
Definitely work out, shower, and rest (nap if possible). Meal prep, especially freezer stuff that can help you feel like you’re getting ‘ahead’ of any future disruptions while you are working.
Maybe if you really need to feel like you’re “working”, look at doing some development/continuing ed type stuff, even just reading cases or management books.
You’re a champ.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Did you hear about the screaming moms event at Charlestown High? I was tempted to do that in the car last week, so I think you should do that for therapeutic reasons :) Other than that, agree with resting, books, podcasts, workouts and anything that you enjoy and isn’t about someone else’s needs.
Anokha says
I just googled that — I love it. I too would like to attend a screaming moms event. And by screaming, I mean “sobbing”.
Anonymous says
Just coming here to say glad you’re doing this, going to consider it, too for very similar reasons. If you don’t mind my asking, are you taking sick leave? unpaid? did you invoke FMLA?
GCA says
Thanks for the suggestions, everyone! I’m starting to feel calmer and more recharged just reading this. And thinking of all of you here in the same boat.
Boston Legal Eagle – I did hear about that! (For anyone who missed it – https://www.wbur.org/news/2022/01/14/moms-primal-scream-charlestown !) A primal scream is tempting…
Anonymous @10:55, my employer is too small for me to qualify for FMLA, so it’s just two weeks unpaid leave of absence, but they’re pretty flexible as our work is project-based — we had some precedent with folks taking unpaid personal time off for various reasons since the pandemic began. If you are eligible, I would definitely invoke FMLA.
Anonymous says
Long walks. Call my regular doctor for meds. Take any available counselor.
Anonanonanon says
OK I read the description of what you’re feeling and burst into tears because you finally put everything I’m feeling into words.
Anyway, it was just a momentary sob and I’ve collected myself so I want to say kudos to you for this. You’re amazing.
I took a day for no good reason a few weeks ago (the first time in a long time) and the things that filled my cup were:
-Wasting time on the internet looking at all the fancy ways to make coffee at home
-Making a fancy coffee
-Watching bad Christmas movies (it was before Christmas). Really watching any “bad” TV you wouldn’t normally get to watch with your significant other around.
-Going to the store by myself to buy some cookies I wanted.
-A nap.On the couch. In my nice, quiet house.
-Drove through McDonald’s for dinner for the kids. Wasn’t going to kill my vibe by cooking.
Things I would do with more days:
-Walking around outside somewhere (outdoor mall even)
-Message your doctor about medication if you feel that could help
-Explore. Is there a cute instagrammable cafe one city over? Go get that fancy latte! Is there a cute little town an hour away you could stroll around in? Go do that!
Something I did last year that helped was taking a moment to think about where the pinch points were in my morning and try to streamline them. I felt like I was always looking for a hairbrush for a kid. So, I ordered a bunch and they’re put away all over the house now! Socks for my daughter was always a problem for some reason, so I chose one kind and ordered a bunch and now it’s never an issue! My son was constantly trying to walk out the door in clothing not appropriate for the season, so I simply took those clothes and put them away. Maybe finding some little problems that you can tackle will help you feel like you have a sense of control in these crazy times.
Also, I’m from a long line of insomniacs, I will say the Calm sleep stories (ESPECIALLY THE ONES ABOUT TRAINS I LOVE THE TRAINS) seriously make me fall asleep. If you’re the type of person who re-reads books to fall asleep, I think it’s the same thing. It engages your brain enough to turn off the other noise, but not so much you stay awake wondering what happens next.
EDAnon says
I also like the Calm stories but it took a couple tries to find the right one(s) for me. Some of them are too weird for me to relax.
Anonanonanon says
Yea, definitely have to find the right niche! The train ones are my go-to but they haven’t added any in a long time. The famous voices are too distracting so I avoid those. I try to search by author as well; the Andrew Martin ones are always good (even if it’s not billed as a train one he usually works a train trip in there, god bless him)
EDAnon says
Good for you for doing this (and thanks for telling us!). If it were me, I would take a few days of just nothing but relaxing and doing the day to day stuff (laundry, dishes). I am always “behind” in laundry so I would watch Encanto and fold clothes one day then nap.
From then on, I would focus on my endless home “to do” list. Each day, I would do a few things. But I would also give yourself the time to enjoy your coffee in the morning (after the kids are out!) and exercise (which I find helps a ton with sleep problems). That way when the kids are home, you can either feel a bit better or know that once they go back, you will feel better.
Anonymous says
omg Encanto. I haven’t seen it yet, but my kids watched it with friends this weekend. My 8 year old son burst into tears on the way home and asked, “how do you erase a memory?!!?!!!” because he was traumatized by the scene where the village is being attacked and was worried it would happen to us. It took a solid 15 minutes of holding him and reassuring him that our family is safe to calm him down… poor kid. He was beside himself the first time he saw The Lion King, too.
Anon says
The Lion King parental death scene is incredibly traumatic. I can’t even watch it as an adult.
Anon says
Sleep. It’s a scientific fact that sleep deprivation sneaks up on you. There was a study done out of Harvard on this. One group pulled an all-nighter, one group lived on 4 hours of sleep for 2 weeks straight, and a control group slept normally. The all-nighter group was able to reasonably assess their decrease in cognitive ability; the 4-hour sleep group was performing as poorly as the all-nighter group but did not know they suffered cognitive declines.
Please, catch up on sleep. Nap. Take a sleep aid at night. Lounge around in the tub.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, and don’t be afraid to talk to your doctor about ambien or similar medication. When I was having anxiety related insomnia, taking ambien every now and then really helped. It didn’t become addictive for me or anything. Sleep is crucial.
Anon says
Lucky you that you could get a prescription. I basically didn’t sleep for a week and my doctor was still lecturing me about sleep hygiene and meditation and refused to prescribe anything stronger than Benadryl.
Anon says
Wow I’m very surprised by these responses. I feel like I skew cautious even for this s!te, but we have my elderly parents in our ‘bubble’ and we (and they) have flown. I think school/daycare is a much much bigger risk right now than flying, so if we don’t quarantine after attending daycare (and we don’t) we wouldn’t feel the need to quarantine after a flight. The vaccines are a game changer. A triple vaccinated person, even an elderly one, is very unlikely to get seriously ill. Life comes with a certain amount of risk and vaccines have changed Covid into a risk we can accept (my mom’s words). I would not leave the county without my kids right now because of the risk of not being able to get back in. But I would have zero hesitation about domestic travel. I would go and enjoy!
Anon says
Oops wrong place meant for the vacation poster!
Anonymous says
A triple vaxxed elderly person can still get quite sick, though. My vaxxed and boosted in-laws were both quite ill for a week or so with breakthrough omicron and one’s vaxxed and boosted sibling was hospitalized. You don’t want your parents to come down with omicron while watching your kids if you can’t get home quickly.
Anon says
You can get from CA to TX in a few hours. I wouldn’t go halfway around the world, but they’re not.
Anonymous says
Not sure if this helps at all, but in my area, people are getting help by hiring sitters that have had COVID in the past 30 days. There are a lot of them!
Anon says
Good for you for taking care of yourself. I echo that sleep is most important, and after that I would try to prioritize a daily walk outside – both fresh air and movement are great for mental health. I took a two week leave about a year ago, due to anxiety-related insomnia, and I didn’t even have the excuse of daycare closure. I don’t even remember what I did while I had childcare (surely I must have read and watched TV, but I couldn’t tell you what I read or watched), but it was very restorative. I hope your leave is too.
Anon says
wwyd parent solo travel covid edition. pre-omicron we made the plan for me to accompany DH to a conference in CA as our first trip away without kids (it’s been 4 years) and for our 10 year anniversary. We live in Houston. Grandparents supposed to fly in from NJ to watch kids. Conference has now been canceled. DH and I would still kind of like to go away, but is this dumb? None of us (kids, grandparents, etc.) has had Omicron yet. Kids are too young to be vaxxed. We’ve hand grandparents fly to us previously during the pandemic, with lots of prior quarantines/testing, but for us to go away requires 6 healthy people and no covid exposures. If we do decide to go away – is it better to go some place driving distance within TX (a state where Covid is ‘over’) or fly to CA (a state with good precautions). Is there any trip insurance that allows you to cancel for any reason or is the trip insurance not worth it?
Anonymous says
Why not postpone for a couple of months until you’ve all had omicron or the surge has died down?
Anonymous says
+1 there should (hopefully!!) be a lull soon and you can plan something then.
Realist says
We don’t have a lot of seasonal data on Covid yet, but based on 2020 and 2021 numbers, May and June look like the best bets for plans.
Anon says
2020 is kind of artificial because everything was shut until early May and then it kind of grew gradually from there.
whitney says
I think it’s fairly sound logic to assume it is going to be similar to 2021 and other flu-like illnesses. I believe scientists agree. I’m done with fear mongering.
Anon says
I hope and expect 2022 to have a lull in May like 2022 did. I was just saying 2020 isn’t much of a data point because we were locked down all spring and into summer in many states. Even my very red state wasn’t fully open until July, so I don’t think it’s comparable to a normal year with everything opened. I don’t think that’s fearmongering, just pointing out facts. I agree OP should take her vacation!
Anonymous says
This is insane under current conditions unless the grandparents are willing to fly to TX and quarantine for 10 days in your basement before you leave while you quarantine the kids upstairs AND you are willing to go somewhere within driving distance so if you get sick you won’t expose an entire planeload of people on the way home AND the grandparents stay at home with the kids the whole time so they won’t pick up COVID and spread it on their return flight. Rapid testing won’t help you because it doesn’t reliably detect omicron in the early days of the infection, so the grandparents could be infected and not know it until halfway through your trip, leaving sick grandparents to take care of kids until you rush home and exposing the kids. Absolutely bonkers.
I am so sick of listening to people complain that they can’t take vacations or have birthday parties or that their kids are inconvenienced by masks. We had a close family member die of COVID, and 15 months of remote school wreaked serious and irreparable damage on our entire family. I “need” a vacation too, but I suck it up and deal because vacations are a luxury. Right now we need to stop the spread of this virus so everyone can safely take vacations at some point in the future.
Anon says
I’m really sorry for your loss and I hope your day gets better.
Anonymous says
I’m sorry for your loss. Also really tired of hearing the complaints.
Anon says
+1 million.
IHeartBacon says
This. +Infinity.
I’m also really sorry for your loss.
Anon says
I’m also sorry for your loss but your family member died pre-vaccine, correct? Statistically a 3x vaccinated person is very unlikely to die or even to take up precious space in a hospital. There is nothing morally wrong about vaccinated people wanting to mask up and fly to take a vacation.
Not OP but I’m traveling now and I don’t care if you like it. My family more than did our part. We were basically fully locked down for a year until we were vaccinated. We got our vaccines and boosters as soon as we could. We always mask in public. We were very cautious for another whole year until our kid could get vaccinated. Now we’re two years into a pandemic that has had significant mental health impacts on us and many others, with no end in sight, and we’re moving on. We can’t stay home forever. We have been more cautious and responsible than 99% of Americans. Direct your ire at those who refuse to vaccinate or mask.
Anonymous says
Traveling in the middle of the current surge, driven by a variant that the vaccines don’t protect well against, is not the same as traveling last summer.
Anon says
The vaccine protects fine against hospitalization and death. Hospitals being overwhelmed is a real problem, but it is not the fault of the vaccinated and boosted flying while wearing a mask. Your anger is irrational and misplaced.
Anonymous says
That’s just false. Vaccinated and boosted people can and do get omicron right now, and if you get it and travel, you’re spreading it to people on the way — in the cab, the airport, the airplane, your destination, and back again. I’m sorry you think it’s “unfair” but it’s extremely childish to think that you’re entitled do put others in harms way during the worst surge of this virus we’ve seen since it all started just because you did the responsible thing up until now. You don’t have to care what others think, but you’re the jerk, not us.
Anon says
No, it’s not false. Anon at 2:19pm said that the vaccination prevents hospitalization and death — that has been proven to be true time and again, even against omicron. A 3x vaccinated person is not the jerk here, and I really am sorry that you’re so angry and anxious about all of this. She didn’t say that they couldn’t get it or spread it. The point stands that all of this is due to the unvaccinated and you really need to take it out with them and not people who are taking measured precautions in their lives to actually live.
Anonymous says
A 3x vaccinated person who puts their own needs ahead of those of the community can 100% be a jerk right along with the a**holes who won’t get vaccinated. Are they equivalent? No. But no one HAS to plan a new vacation for the next few weeks. And stop throwing around the term anxious whenever people take responsibility for their own actions. I’m not anxious, I’m responding to the evolving situation and trying to be responsible.
Anon says
Serious question: Is there anyone you know in real life (who doesn’t have kids under 5) who’s following all your rules? Because I don’t know anyone with a fully vaccinated family who is still living such a locked down life, and those with little kids are being extra cautious to protect their kids, not adults who made a choice not to get vaccinated. Most people in my liberal, relatively cautious circles are vaccinated, wearing masks, and going about things pretty much normally. So are you just…calling every single person you know a jerk? You do you, but that sounds like such an exhausting and miserable way to live.
And fwiw the OP is not traveling now, like you keep saying. She’s traveling in over a month, when most experts agree the worst of the Omicron surge will have subsided.
Anon says
This is not the worst surge of the virus we’ve had. Far more people died during the winter surge last year.
anon says
Agreed. Our family friend lost her son at a tragically young age to COVID and she’s taken more vacations since then than I have in probably 4 years. It has been 2 years and to take a responsible vacation (i.e., not acting like a dummy on spring break partying in a hotel room with 30 people from 30 different states) is not insane.
Spirograph says
Also not the OP, but I could have written this. Amen.
Anon @1:59, vaccines protect very, very well against serious illness and death, even for the omicron variant. They don’t prevent you from testing positive, and for that reason they could be very disruptive to planned air travel (whether for lack of staffing causing flight cancellations, or if you’re traveling somewhere that requires a negative test) or for city break where you’re looking forward to going places indoors. But to me, that’s not a reason not to drive somewhere for a getaway, as long as you have a responsible plan for what your vacation looks like in the event you have a positive test.
Anon says
This is where I land as well. Also more than did our part. What struck me in the 9:05 am comment was the note that “we need to stop the spread of this virus”. I’m sorry, but that ship has long sailed. The people I know getting it are not doing anything remotely crazy and I live in a very cautious, very very vaccinated part of the country. Whether this OP travels or not is not going to make a statistical difference.
Anonymous says
Agreed. My in-laws, boss and best friend all got it in the last two weeks. Three different states, none of them traveled or did anything “reckless.” I wish it were different, but the ship had sailed on containment or even slowing the spread.
Anonymous says
Annnnd this is why we are in a surge. Lots of individual people doing whatever they want because “it won’t make a difference” adds up to a big difference in the aggregate.
Anon says
No we’re in a surge because this variant evaded vaccines to a larger degree than previous variants and something like 30% of the country is still unvaccinated. Get help for your anxiety and stop blaming people who are being more responsible than most. Asking people to stay home for two+ years is wildly unrealistic and causes real harm too. Child suicides are way up.
Anon says
2:41, But it really WON’T make a big difference. Unless you live in some fantasy that we all do some zero COVID policy (with the same level of extreme enforcement). No thanks.
Anonymous says
If I hear “child suicides are way up” one more time as a justification for adults’ gallivanting around I will scream. Kids are having a rough time because they were in on-line school last year, because they were stuck at home until they had vaccines, and because schools have retained all of the terrible “instructional” technology that is being used ineffectively and are failing to address the learning deficits from last year. We should be focusing on fixing schools and on ensuring that teachers stay healthy and in the classroom. How do we do this? Certainly not by declaring that “the pandemic is over” and taking vacations when the rate of infection is the highest it’s ever been. Kids are not dying of suicide because their parents are not taking enough vacations.
Anonymous says
Not the OP. Yes and no to the reasons more kids are dying by suicide. I do think there’s individual mental health and there’s mental health at a family and community level. All of those are imperiled by the events of the last couple of years, and to me, chipping away at it where we can (yes, including with adults taking vacations) is a good thing. Will me taking a vacation prevent a suicide? No. But might an environment where people feel like they’re able to pursue happiness outside their houses without being shamed or shouted down about stopping the spread? I don’t know, but it seems possible.
Also, without pulling up the data… I’m pretty sure suicide rates are up across many demographic/age groups, right?
Anon says
This is a thread about an adult vacation, but you’ve made similar comments on threads about family vacations and visits to extended family. Seeing grandparents in person has significant mental health benefits for both my kids and their grandparents and I don’t think that’s terribly unusual.
I mentioned suicide simply to point out that the pandemic has had many health consequences, up to and including death, way behind virus death.
Anon says
Anon at 3:37, suicides being up among all demographics would make sense. I did see a headline that in particular they have spiked among preteen and adolescent girls, and the doctors quoted seemed to think the social isolation of the pandemic was playing a big role. However I just read the news article and not the underlying data, so it’s possible the article was misleading.
Anonymous says
So go on your vacation and stop whining. What do you want, a medal for making it this far?
whitney says
I am so sorry for your loss but respectfully I believe we all need to progress our mindsets and policies from where they needed to be in March 2020 to ensure hospital capacity to where then need to be in Feb 2022 to ensure we create a sustainable model. We can’t stop the spread of this. We’ve tried. We can give people the choice to get vaccinated and make smart, data-driven decisions to minimize severe outcomes without sacrificing mental health for millions. As long as OP is genuinely willing to plan for contingencies (including quaranting at your destination for the appropriate amount of time), I believe she should go on her dang anniversary trip. And her personal risk/reward tradeoff may mean a trip within driving distance. We have got to stop treating other people like the enemy! Everyone is doing their best to balance what’s best for their community and what’s best for their family. And that math is different for all of us. And if we can’t complain to a bunch of other people, then how on earth do we survive this?!?!
Anonymous says
You realize that hospitals are extremely stressed right now? We may have slowed down how fast we are literally killing HCW but we’re still burning them out at very high rates. Multiple states that are at critical levels (which I thought meant no elective surgeries, but it actually means a nurse checks on you once a day instead of every few hours). Not sure how we “progress our mindsets” in light of actual facts.
Anon says
This is entirely the fault of the unvaccinated. That is the actual fact you want everything to be considered in light of. Go yell at them. OP is doing nothing unreasonable by taking a trip with her stated precautions and, in fact, this EXACT thing (taking a trip!) was mentioned by several nationally prominent health experts, including one Anthony Fauci, MD, as a reasonable risk to take once it looked like Omicron was on the rise.
Enjoy your trip, OP.
Anonymous says
Our local university hospital is only doing emergency procedures. This means that people who need cancer treatment, etc. are SOL.
Anon says
Healthcare worker burnout is a very real and important issue, but none of the actual healthcare workers I know are shaming people the way you do. They all think it’s fine for vaccinated people to travel responsibly. They’re mad at the unvaccinated and anti-maskers, and rightfully so. Also burnout in that profession has been a big issue for almost two years now, so if that’s your standard for when people can travel you’re basically telling everyone to stay home forever. The problem of HCW burnout isn’t going to magically disappear in 6 weeks when this wave subsides.
Anonymous says
“Smart, data-driven decisions” include pulling back on risky activities when hospitalizations are up. The vaccines don’t prevent all hospitalizations, and when literally everyone is getting infected even a relatively low hospitalization rate leads to massive numbers of hospitalizations, as we are currently seeing.
The CDC needs to come up with some clear, data-driven public health guidelines here, with clearly defined thresholds for universal indoor masking, closing restaurants and gyms, masking in schools, temporary distance learning, etc. based on infection rates, test positivity rates, and hospitalizations at the community level.
Anon says
You’re not going to get mass closures of schools or gyms or restaurants. You’re not going to get mandatory masking in large areas with lots of unvaccinated people to slow the spread. You’re just not getting any of that. The CDC can come up with guidelines but it’s clear states and local governments across the US are not going to play along.
People are in the hospital because they are unvaccinated. That is largely the case, and that is solid gold fact. You get them vaccinated then this will slow down.
The OP is not doing anything riskier or more selfish than a single unvaccinated person walking out of their house in the morning. Save your ire for them.
OP says
i should add this is not scheduled for right now, but for the last weekend in February.
anonM says
FWIW, Fauci has said he hopes this waive peaks at the end of January, so that would give me some comfort for late February. What about planning something driving distance/shorter length so you won’t be as worried about whether it has to be canceled last minute, but you still can try for some solo time and still try to see the grandparents? Might not be as exciting but seems like less mental stress.
Anonymous says
I think protecting the grandparents would be my top priority. Are your kids in school/daycare so they are getting exposed a lot? If so, I would not book anything nonrefundable. Things might be a lot better by late February but it is going to vary locally a lot. I’m in NYC, and we’re clearly past the peak here (NJ is too).
Re:flying vs driving – I don’t it matters that much where you go; even if you get sick while away you’re not going to want to come home and infect your kids, so you’re going to have to stay put. The big risk is your kids infecting your parents.
OP says
in this case the grandparents are the least covid cautious of the bunch. i’m more worried about them infecting us.
Anonymous says
But do you want to be the one who gives it to them? If you and your kids get it, you will mostly be okay, but depending on their age, they are more likely to get seriously ill. That would be my calculus anyway.
anon says
I have a work conference the last week of Feb in San Diego. DH and DD were going to come with me but we’re now leaving them at home. The conference is still on though they’ve told us to hold off on booking flights so who knows if it actually goes off. So, our situations are different, but I just don’t think it’s worth the risk right now. Things were so much more open in the spring/summer/fall last year and I’m hopeful the same happens in 2022 after this peak, making skipping this trip not all that hard to stomach with hopes we can book something in like May/June.
Anonymous says
This. I’ve cancelled three trips now because of COVID surges. One of these days it will work out. Time for OP to call it and wait for another chance.
Anon says
Congrats on being a martyr but you don’t get to dictate that everyone else is miserable just because you are.
AnonTX says
Hi! We’re in Houston, and have local family. Kids are also too young for vaxxes. I say you go somewhere, flying or driving, once you can sort out the testing, precautions, etc. I wouldn’t worry too much about grandparents catching anything on the flight (assuming they are masked, etc), and would rapid test upon arrival if you still are concerned.
FWIW, we are cautious but not as much as folks on this board (not throwing shade at anyone!). Most of our science-based, progressive, anti-Abbott friends are also similar to us. Our approach is basically take all precautions and try to do things that are “normal” – e.g. if we go to a brewery, we try to sit outside; don’t really take the kids anywhere besides school/my parents house; no indoor birthday parties for kids, etc.
DH and I have had a long weekend away planned with 3 other couples for a few months. Most of the couples have young kids like ours. All coming are triple-vaxxed. We are still going on the trip. We took PCR tests yesterday, and plan to fly out on Thursday. Kids will stay with local family, and we are going to a state with good precautions. Most activities will be in our shared cabin or outdoors. For anything indoors (e.g. shopping), the state has an indoor mask mandate.
OP says
i’m not so worried about grandparents catching anything on the flight. more like, we are away and get a message from kiddos school that there is a quarantine. or we are away and one of us starts to feel sick while away, or grandparent feels sick, etc. or the PCR and rapid tests grandparents take before coming to visit us give false negatives in your case, your grandparents are local so logistically it seems easier if for some reason you get stuck.
Mary Moo Cow says
I would go, too, but somewhere within driving distance so you avoid having to unexpectedly quarantine or have a positive test and can’t get on a plane and therefore force grandparents to stay for much longer. (My parents have been stuck for 10 days because my mom is totally asymptotic but has tested positive and my dad is negative but isn’t going to leave my mom on her own in a foreign country. This has made me double down on vowing not to fly for the time being.)
Spirograph says
This. I don’t think you’re crazy to consider a vacation, but unless you have your heart set on somewhere a flight away (which it sounds like you don’t), I’d choose a driving getaway because there’s just less that can go wrong.
Anonymous says
You can still get on a domestic flight if you have COVID. It’s irresponsible, but people are doing it.
NYCer says
I would go and would be ok flying or driving. Agree with an earlier poster that delaying a couple months would probably be ideal, but if late Feb time frame works best for you, I would still do it.
Paging Party Animal/Precipitous Births from Yesterday says
Yesterday was a much needed holiday, so just catching up. I had two precipitous births, both unmedicated. With my first, I was already in the hospital with complications. Labor went so quickly that my mom & sister who were there to keep me company got boxed in a corner by the neonatal team that rushed in. With my second, I was at home when the first contraction started and barely made it to the hospital 25 minutes away. Fun fact: my L&D ward has sterile rooms ready to go and taped off for emergencies like this! I didn’t even get to take my socks off, but I’m glad that I wasn’t delivering on the side of the road. We were planning on dropping off the oldest on the way to the hospital, but instead a very nice nurse ended up hanging out with him in the hallway outside my room. My mom also had fast labors, and each one was faster than the last.
I’m not going to lie – part of this is why we didn’t even think of a third. I like to say I’m not good at being pregnant — between the miscarriages and the complications and the precipitous births… I don’t think I could handle a third time. Our kids are 4 years apart because it took a long time to be ready to go through it again after what I went through with number one. And honestly, our family felt complete — I love snuggling friends’ babies, but there is no desire for another of our own. I would definitely talk to your doctor about your concerns — and have a better plan than I did for your older kids in case you have to rush to the hospital.
Pogo says
Oh I will go back and read and then share my thoughts! I was totally unprepared for a precipitous second after 31 hours with my first. Baby was delivered on the floor of the hospital lobby. Def not sterile lol.
Pogo says
OK, so I think given Party Animal’s history, I would go induction. Then you know you’ll be in the hospital and be more likely to get the medication support you want, and any interventions that are needed. It sounds like you’re anxious about it (rightly so) and why add to that?
We are undecided on a 3rd and I’m not sure what I would do. I personally had the best precipitous labor you could have – while intense, it wasn’t excruciating (I could talk and breathe in between contractions) and the only time I freaked out was when I thought I was going to have the baby on the sidewalk because the doors were locked (due to COVID, we were supposed to go to a different entrance not near L&D, which the nurse on the phone forgot to tell us). Luckily the lobby staff was still there and let us in and paged L&D who were able to run out and deliver the baby. Sidenote: those two lobby admins were so unimpressed, it still cracks me up to this day. They must see some crazy sh*t to be so incredibly calm, as I was legit screaming at them and holding my baby’s head between my legs and they’re just on the phone like “yeah, this lady is having here baby here right now. Yep right now.”
Anyway once the nurses and doctors got there (like 10 seconds later, they were sprinting at me), I wasn’t worried and it all went really smoothly. They did know I was coming which helped, though I had no idea I was about to have a baby – I thought I had hours and hours to go!
Anon says
Dude. You’re a warrior!
Anon says
Whoa what an incredible birth story!
Anon says
I didn’t see yesterday’s thread, but I had two fairly fast births – by the time I was admitted I was 10 cm with my first and 9 with my second. However, my third baby was my longest pregnancy and labor! I went to the hospital very early to try to avoid the previous situations, and they almost sent me home. But I KNEW and sure enough he was born a few hours later
EDAnon says
That’s interesting because my second labor was really bad and that foreclosed a third for me and my husband. But I kind of want a third still.
With my second, I hemorrhaged and my son’s initial APGAR was a 1, so it wasn’t just fast labor but the other complications that came with that.
anon says
This was similar to my mom! Two fast deliveries, and with the second they almost sent her home but she made her OB call the hospital and insist they keep her there. (I was the opposite. Slow, long labors. Who knows on this stuff?!)
Party Animal says
Thanks everybody! It is very validating to hear others’ stories- it makes me feel less bad about being so anxious. I see my doctor on Thursday and have a long list of questions to go over with her. Last time I felt no pain at all until after my water broke like a water balloon spontaneously at home, and even then really nothing stronger than period cramps until about an hour later. If my water had not broken like that, my son would have been born at home or on the side of the road. Was at the hospital less than an hour before my son was in my arms. The doctor was still suited up from another delivery and literally caught my son. I pushed twice. The doctor said I have a highly efficient uterus, ha. My mom also had a precipitous labor (I’m an only child because she was so traumatized by the experience) and my grandmother had three, each faster than the last as you note above. Again, appreciate everybody’s support and advice. It is nice to be able to talk about it with others who have been there.
tired rant says
We (our kids) also have a week-long break in February and I need to get away! I can’t stand the idea of another staycation; I am so tired of trying to making the best of things, I held it together for two years, but I am so done. I want to fly to CA from DC to visit family, but I have one unvaccinated kid. We have been very very careful for two years. Our kids have only gone to school, all playdates have been outdoors, no restaurants, no grocery stores, nothing – so this would be a huge departure. I really want to get on this fight, buut it seems crazy, with omicron and with a little kid vaccine coming soon. So, is there any warm, fun getaway within driving distance from DC in February?
Anon says
my sister drove from NYC to the south carolina beaches to rent an airbnb. she is very covid cautious so sticking to takeout. it’s not crazy warm, but warmer than NYC is right now
Anon says
Drive to Florida and rent a house. Anywhere further north won’t have reliably good weather in February.
Mary Moo Cow says
My sister had a surprisingly fun long weekend with her 8 and 6 year old in Myrtle Beach in the fall. It was warm enough for the kids to put bathing suits on and play on the beach (not the grown ups) and there was plenty to do (playgrounds, museums, theme restaurants.) They stayed in a nice suites hotel on the beach.
So Anon says
Savannah, Georgia is about a 8-10 hour drive from DC and a straight shot down 95. It is such a fun city that feels a world away from DC. It may not be super warm but will likely be better than DC.
Extra anon for this says
We do the DC to Florida drive pretty frequently to see family. The best decision I ever made was to rent a minivan for a trip I had to do by myself. OMG those captain seats and extra row were amazing. Just throwing that out there as a recommendation if you choose something with a long drive!
Anon says
I would just fly. We’ve been as cautious as you with stores, play dates etc but with masks on airplanes, odds of getting sick on a flight are low. Choose a safe destination (like a rental house on the coast where you’ll have minimal contact with others) but the flights themselves are low risk. We haven’t been in a grocery store in 2 years but we’ve flown half a dozen times since vaccines for adults came out.
Anonymous says
Is your youngest on school? S/he’ll probably get it before Feb. book the tickets and see how things look.
whitney says
Go to California. Just do it. Unless the risk of quarantining for 10 days makes it not worth it. I’ve heard Greenbriar is really pretty in the winter with ice skating and everything. And NYC could be fun!
2 Under 2 says
I’m applying for new jobs and so far, all interviews have been over the phone or zoom. But this morning I received an email asking me to attend an in-person interview with the company recruiter. I am … surprised? shocked? I guess I am so not used to going anywhere anymore, that I’m wondering – are others experiencing this? Are things opening up? Do I need to find an interview suit – and business clothes – that fit? And is this an indication of the way this company operates? As in, all meetings (even an initial screen with a recruiter) will be in person?
Anonymous says
Wow. We never did initial screening interviews in person, even with local candidates, even pre-pandemic. First they were phone screens and then we moved to Zoom. I would be extremely wary of an over-the-top facetime culture if they are asking for an in-person screening interview with HR.
Anonymous says
An in-person screener is weird, but if you’re job-hunting you need to have an interview suit that fits ready to go unless you are interviewing only for 100% remote jobs where the interviewers are not local to you. If you make it to the final round for one of these jobs and omicron has died down, I wouldn’t be surprised by an in-person final interview even if you will be working remotely at first. With supply chain issues, the need for tailoring, etc., I wouldn’t want to have to scramble to find an interview outfit with one or two weeks’ notice.
2 Under 2 says
Thank you, and agreed that I need an interview suit that fits. Adding that to my to do list today. I wouldn’t be surprised by an in-person final interview but I am very surprised by the invitation for an in-person screener. Would you ask to do it remotely, or would that automatically disqualify me?
Anonymous says
I would have been surprised by an in-person screener even before the pandemic. Can you do some digging to find out what the company’s attitude is towards in-person work and safety? If most employees are still remote then it could just be a random weird HR person, and worth requesting a call or Zoom. But I’d be concerned that the request for an in-person screening interview in the middle of a surge signals that the company values in-person work way more than I’d be comfortable with, even after the pandemic. I wouldn’t want to end up at an employer that would penalize me for school snow days, for example.
Pogo says
In person recruiter screen sounds bizarro to me. The recruiters just go through your resume basically… in my org they don’t add much value at all.
Anonymous says
In our org the HR screening is supposed to reduce bias in hiring by applying objective criteria to the selection of candidates for interviews. Because HR knows absolutely nothing about what we actually do and is not in a position to accurately evaluate resumes, the HR screening process has resulted in a lot of interviews with people who are unqualified, want a different sort of job, are legitimate weirdos, or in one notorious case have a fake degree. What really scares me is whether they are screening out candidates who are actually qualified. I have no way of knowing because I only see the applications that get past HR.
Pogo says
This is my experience w/ recruiters too, and my DH’s (both in tech). Recruiters are not technical, they have no clue what is going on, and they just add a layer of bureaucracy. Even for an internal promotion once I had to meet w/ one.
Anonymous says
I’ve been job hunting both remote and in-person positions for 10 months now (in Texas, where Covid is largely ignored). An in-person screen strikes me as odd and unless I were desperate, I would decline. I wonder if it’s one of those “amazing opportunities” where you’re required to recruit three friends?
Birthday ideas? says
My birthday is this Friday and since I will be doing a FET on Monday this feels like my last hurrah before being pregnant again (I have a toddler). What should I do to celebrate and treat myself?
Anon says
We’re planning an FET for March/April (also have a toddler), and will be eating all the sushi and unpasteurized cheese between now and then (I don’t drink alcohol, or would also add that to the list). Also all the spicy food since I get ridiculous pregnancy heartburn starting half-way through, so I need to front load my cravings!
GCA says
Happy birthday and good luck with the FET! I’d say whatever outdoor sports or activities that would be beyond your personal risk tolerance* while pregnant. Take yourself skiing? Rock-climbing? Only half joking… other than that, sushi, unpasteurized cheeses, some nice wine or a good beer.
*I do know some experienced folks who were happy to climb or ski for much of pregnancy but I am not one!
AwayEmily says
Any recommendations for warm kids’ socks? Ages 4 and 6. Something to wear under their Bogs while they are outside sledding/playing for a couple of hours. I get the sense Smartwool is the gold standard but wow they are expensive. Worth it or is there a cheaper option?
Anonymous says
REI brand.
Spirograph says
caveat that DC area doesn’t get *that* cold, but we just use whatever crew socks; it’s less about the socks themselves being warm than them being tall and not falling down inside the boots. My sons like Under Armor.
Anonymous says
About the same price but we like Darn Tough better. I also like Bombas for myself, but haven’t tried them for kiddo yet. We can easily get by with 2 or so pairs only for longer playtime outside. We often get them a little big so they last two winters and give a pair in kiddo’s stocking each Christmas.
Anon says
If you have insulated boots, any thick tall sock will do (are Bogs insulated?). If they are playing outside in uninsulated boots, smartwool are very much worth it, although the Costco brand wool socks for adults are probably about 70 percent as warm (not sure if they make kids ones). You could also layer two pairs of socks if your kids will tolerate it (mine will not).
Anon says
We buy sets from Amazon. Search “kids wool socks” and a bunch will pop up, usually from those weird letter brands, but we’ve ordered a few different ones and have liked them all. My kids say they’re warm
DLC says
I’ve had good luck finding children’s smartwool on Backcountry.com on sale for $13-$9. They’re often the ski socks so they’re extra long, which actually work well for us with the rainboots.
EDAnon says
We bought smartwool (I find them in sale at REI), but my kids hate them. It is cold here and they just wear their Target socks with boots.
Anonymous says
Are you sure they can tolerate wool? I would go with synthetic.
Blinds leading the blind says
What kind of window treatments did you put in your kids’ rooms? We are now homeowners (yay! finally!) and the existing pull-down rollers in both kid bedrooms are broken. I went to the Shade Store yesterday and feel a bit overwhelmed. I assumed we would want cordless, but it seems like you can do metal cords in a safe way, by mounting them up high and making the cord tight.
Anyone have strong feelings on rollers vs blinds vs Roman? FYI, we have 2 under 4, so safety is a big concern.
Anonymous says
If there’s space to open them, I’d look into interior shutters. Easier to keep clean than blinds, block light on the sides, and no cords at all.
AwayEmily says
Can you just use curtains, at least for now? We installed a curtain rod and some blackout curtains and that’s been sufficient. If nothing else you could put those up as a stopgap and then delay the decision for awhile while you research options.
OP says
Normal cheap curtains won’t fit our weird windows very well, but based on the guidance here maybe I should revisit…
NLD in NYC says
Just wanted to say best username of the day! :) Congrats on homeownership.
OP says
Thank you! :)
Realist says
I usually do blackout roller shades in bedrooms, with additional curtains on top of needed to get the light around the edges or to make it look prettier. If my kid wasn’t so light sensitive, I would do the wide wood-look blinds or shutters, which is what I do in our guest room. I don’t like Roman shades or honeycomb blinds because they are not easy to keep clean and gather dust. If no one in the family has allergies, that probably isn’t a huge deal if you plan to replace every 10 years or so, but I prefer something washable or wipable.
Anonymous says
+1 to this. I’m regretting Roman shades. They look nice, but they’re a PITA to keep clean.
Anonymous says
Oooh good to know on Roman, thank you! Yeah we’ve had the wooden ones in the past and I find they let in a lot of light.
Anon says
I would see what you can get in a cordless blackout roman shade that doesn’t have that shiny, plasticy fabric. I hate blinds, though. We also only have curtains in one of my kid’s rooms and they work well, too.
Anonymous says
We have these in the appropriate sizes in Graphite
https://www.lowes.com/pd/LEVOLOR-Trim-Go-Graphite-Room-Darkening-Cordless-Cellular-Shade-Actual-35-5-in-x-72-in/50298151
We have curtains over them, too.
OP says
I’ll check these out, thanks!
Anon says
+1 we have a version of this in our kids’ rooms too, even in our bedroom, and plan to eventually add curtains over it. Perfect for really darkening the room for naps or for mid-day sleeps (my DH works off hours throughout the year).
Boston Legal Eagle says
We have Levolor too. The previous owners of our house installed and we like them. We did have to replace some that were too dirty (they’re a pain to clean) but they were easy to install as the previous owners did all the hardware and they just popped in.
Anon says
We have (cheap) curtains on those flimsy lightweight tension rods, so that when my kid yanks on them there are no injuries (or damage to the wall) when they come down. I just last week bought real drill into the wall curtain rods and nicer curtains for her bedroom and ours, since she is 4.5 now and it’s been 6 months since a curtain rod in a bedroom has come down (leaving the downstairs with the flimsy tension rods for now. In a perfect world I would do plantation shutters on all the windows, but DH (who somehow has opinions on all the house things) is not on board yet and I detest blinds, so we are where we are.
Pogo says
We got Comfortex honeycomb blackout shades in the baby’s room. We sprung for the extra $$ for Hunter Douglass in the main area of the house where we also wanted climate benefits (large window into the sunroom so it’s both super hot and super cold on the other side most of the year), but you cannot tell Comfortex from Hunger Douglass just by looking at them, for sure.
Anonanonanon says
Congratulations on the house!
We had white cordless wood blinds in our last house and I loved them. The kind you push up and they stay up then you just pull them down to lower.
We moved a few months ago and just got new windows and I’m going to go the blackout curtain route for now, personally. I’ve felt like I have so many decisions to make for the house that it isn’t fun and blinds are expensive so I want to take some time to think. This is a know your kid thing, though. One of mine would have never pulled down a curtain rod and the other 100% would.
Anonymous says
We had top down/bottom up, cordless blinds that I really liked. gives you a lot of flexibility in how much light you are getting and privacy. For our kids rooms we also added blackout curtains on a curtain rod, since there were some gaps that let light in around each of the blinds.
DLC says
We got these cordless cellular shades from Wayfair and installed them ourselves.
https://www.wayfair.com/decor-pillows/pdp/latitude-run-day-and-night-room-darkening-sheer-cellular-shade-w006012890.html?piid=345424021%2C345424859%2C345424811
The set has both a room darkening and a light filtering option which works well for us since the window faces directly into the neighbor’s house and we don’t want the shade up but do want some natural light.
We also have the light filtering top down/bottom up option for next to the kids’ bunkbed so the kid on the top bunk can control her own light situation.
I don’t love that they are rental unit white, but they were cheaper than anything custom, and they do what they’re supposed to and I can now stop looking at the old broken shades with angst.
anon says
OMG the Lost Daughter was so depressing. I wish I hadn’t watched it. I don’t know what to say about it, just wondering if it felt too close to home for anyone else. Especially bad to watch after a long weekend with my kids where the older one was driving us unbelievably crazy.
Anonymous says
I am not planning to watch because that seems like it would be a traumatic experience. I ended up reading a dry plot synopsis just so I’d know what everyone was talking about.
Anonanonanon says
I’ve been on the fence, and am also considering trying the book? I feel like I have to be in exactly the right emotional place to watch it. Though, I feel that way about any TV shows with any emotions or tensions right now lol
Carolyn says
Just read the summary – what an intense, strange movie. Also, my mom really liked that movie, now I have questions. She said that you understand it better if you are a mother.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I read a NYTimes blurb about it as being an example of a more nuanced portrayal of motherhood. As in, we’re supposed to view her as a complex human, and not just devoted self sacrificing mother or otherwise a monster. I haven’t watched it yet, but I bet I will relate somewhat to the feelings of the toll that young children take. Not worth watching though?
jz says
Agree with this take. It’s supposed to present the part of motherhood that aren’t “allowed” to be discussed or likely shamed (ie, irritation with your kids to the point of *spoiler not added here*). It was a pretty stressful movie. I think Olivia Colman did a fine job with the character.
Anonymous says
I am not going to watch it because I am afraid it will hit too close to home.
anon says
Objectively it was a good movie and I love Elena Ferrante who wrote the book its based on. but it felt so close to home as the mother of two young children in a 2 parent working household. I don’t think I’d ever abandon my children, but I definitely fantasize about getting away alone on a regular basis. And the scenes where there’s a struggle between the two parents about whose “turn” it is to take a hit on their work to take care of the kids is an ever present reality for me right now. And being torn between wanting to be a sweet caring fun mom to my two sweet children vs. the annoyed short tempered not-fun mom I am to my intentionally-trying-to-annoy-me kids because they just want my attention was hard to see and feel so deeply. Idk it was rough to watch after a long, bitterly cold weekend inside with two kids.
Anonymous says
At this point in my life I don’t want to watch or read anything that isn’t fluffy and entertaining. I’ll wrestle with the uncomfortable truths of human existence later, when I’m not drowning in them on a daily basis.
Anon says
Experiences with low doses of lexapro/wellbutrin? I’ve been in therapy for over a year and still having a hard time. I’ve been avoiding medication because I’m afraid of side effects and I guess worried about altering my brain chemistry in a way that maybe will be hard to change back? I don’t know. I just am hesitant about taking a drug that messes with my brain I guess. But, looking for other people’s experience.
Ashley says
For me, low dose (50mg) of Zoloft is life changing. My issue is primarily anxiety but it takes the edge off enough that I can think more logically and clearly.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Same. I don’t think that altering my brain chemistry is a bad thing – in my case, my brain before was too prone to anxious thoughts and the medication level sets me and allows me to function a lot better. I’m still fundamentally me so medication didn’t change my personality (which is what my brain used to tell me before). I also didn’t notice the typical side effects that are associated with medication, at least nothing beyond what parenting small children in a pandemic would have done anyway! (i.e. weight gain, loss of libido).
Anonanonanon says
I’ve been on Wellbutrin off and on since my late teens and 10/10 would recommend. I also have ADHD and it helps a lil’ bit with that (I think it’s sometimes used as an off-label treatment)
I was on lexapro first but it made me sleepy and had gardening side effects that I didn’t like.
I used Wellbutrin during a tough time in my late teens, then went back on for about a year for PPD after having my first kid in 2010, then went back on a low dose in early 2020 before everything happened, and have stayed on it since. When I was on a higher dose the only side effect was a bit of appetite suppression which led to a bit of weight loss. I’m on half of what I used to be on and haven’t had that this go ’round. I’ve never had a problem tapering off, it is just a tool that stays in the toolbox for when it’s needed.
Anonymous says
I’ve taken a number of different antidepressants, in low and high doses, including Wellbutrin, for periods of years at different points. For me, they were life saving. If your brain isn’t working very well, you may need to “mess with it.”
Also, there is no point in taking a low dose if a low dose doesn’t help you – take the dose that is effective.
Anon says
Husband and I are both on different meds and have been on and off for most of our adult lives.
It saved me from a very slippery slope of alcoholism I was stuck in for a while. I was attempting to drink away anxiety and depression that are now medically controlled. I’m a way better parent, spouse, and human now than I was when I wasn’t on any medication.
Husband also went from having probably 1 “breakdown” a week and entire weeks lost to depressive episodes to only occasionally feeling low.
Take the meds if you need them. Be patient when you start.
Anonymous says
Yep loads of us. It’s great. Makes you not be depressed.
Kara says
Low dose of wellbutrin was extremely effective, made a world of a difference, worked in a different way than Lexapro and initially definitely made me lose weight.
Lexapro says
Low dose (5mg I think) of lexapro for a year helped me so much. I was worried if I started taking meds I would be on it for the rest of my life. So I stayed at the low, placebo-ish dose. But even with that (and therapy), I saw huge improvement (maybe all in my head, but it helped me nonetheless). I started in 2020 and stopped in 2021, when I forgot to take the medicine with me on a road trip.
anon says
We’re toying with the idea of going to Florida in March. Kids are 12 and 7. I”m looking for something that’s a) warm; and b) not terribly stressful (e.g., not Disney). We all love water activities, but I know March is on the early side for that. Any ideas where to go? Covid is somewhat a concern, but we’re vaxxed and boosted and tired of never going anywhere.
Anon says
What about PR? It’s considered US so no return testing and it will definitely be warm!
Anon says
It’s a little late in the game to book but highly recommend Marco Island. We were there after Christmas, stayed at the JW, and were able to have a very fun, relaxing, covid-conscious vacation. You might be able to find a house on VRBO with a screened-in pool – that would have been the life for me at your children’s ages!
Anon says
Look at the Keys. Key Largo is near good snorkeling and diving, which would be fun with kids that age. Key West is also fun, but maybe more of a party atmosphere than you want with kids. You can (pre-Covid anyway) also fly or take a ferry into Dry Tortugas National Park from the Keys, which is cool.
Whitney says
As long as you are further south, I would think March is fine – stay clear of northern Florida for sure though
Anon says
https://special.usps.com/testkits
I had a coworker just share this useful link. Looks like USPS launched their at-home covid test sign up early. 4 Tests per home for free.
I totally would have missed it if they didn’t mention something to me. I hope this helps another mom.
Anonymous says
Thank you for sharing!