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I haven’t figured out a tidy way to store my tanks. This simple, space-saving hanger might be the solution.
This clever hanger organizes tanks, scarves, and other delicate items. It also makes it easy to see everything at a glance. The rounded ends won’t snag fabrics and they stop your clothes from slipping off.
This chrome tank hanger is available at Container Store for $10.99.
Sales of note for 7.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – The Nordstrom Anniversary Sale has begun! Here are all of our picks.
- Ann Taylor – Semi-Annual Sale! (Ends 7/12)
- Athleta – Extra 30% off semi-annual sale (ends 7/10)
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything + extra 20% off your purchase
- Boden – 10% off new women’s styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off all sale
- Everlane – Up to 70% off
- J.Crew – End of Season Sale, up to 60% off all sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything + extra 60% off sale styles
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off
- Loft – 50% off tops
- Madewell – End of season sale, up to 70% off with code.
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide. (Please correct me if I’m wrong, but I think this is the biggest sitewide discount I’ve ever seen…)
- NET-A-PORTER – Up to 60% off sale styles
- Rothy’s – Lots of great finds in the “final few” section
- Sephora – 25% off a ton of shampoos and conditioners (ends 7/10)
- Talbots – Semi-annual Red Door Sale, extra 40% off markdowns
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything plus extra 15% off purchase
- Eloquii – Semi-annual clearance, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off warm-weather styles; extra 50% off sale styles
- Lands’ End – 50% off your order
- Loft – $39 dresses and 40% off your purchase (ends 6/26)
- Talbots – 30% off all markdowns, summer favorites starting at $24.50 (ends 6/25)
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Summer clearance up to 70% off; 50% off tops, shorts & more
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all dresses; up to 50% off all baby items
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 50% off warm-weather styles; extra 50% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 50% off all polos; 60% off steals
- Target – 20% off women’s swim; 50% off patio furniture, garden items & accessories; up to 30% off kitchen & dining
Anon says
Just tried to give screaming flailing kid a Covid test. The swab came into contact with her hair on its way to the second nostril. Do i have to retest? Or it’s probably ok? Covid testing bc she was up half the night with a fever and we got a notice from the school that someone from her class has Covid
Anon says
I’d retest tomorrow. If she has it it’s possible that she could need more time to test positive. I think the swab would probably be ok as long as it still had the snot on it but I am no expert.
Anon says
Yes, still use this swab and complete the test, but if negative retest tomorrow
Anon says
Foreign objects are more likely to give false positives than false negatives ( I remember people getting positive test results with tap water at one point). So if it’s negative, you should be good for now. As others said though, it’s early so you’ll probably want to retest tomorrow.
Anon says
negative for now. of course im supposed to leave tonight for my one annual girls weekend with my college friends. DH is encouraging me to still go, but i feel terribly leaving him with solo with both kids when one is sick. if it was the reverse i’d be begging him to stay home….but thats also probably because i do a lot more solo parenting than he does
Anon says
GO! They’ll be fine! Honeslty, kids do pretty well with covid. It isn’t like the stomach flu or anything. Have fun!
Anonymous says
Go. He’s literally telling you to.
Anon says
Go. Husband can handle it. Sick kids are actually easier for me, as I have no guilt letting them watch TV and nap and there’s no running around to activities.
My husband left for a week business trip when *I* had Covid, with three kids, and we got through. (Before he gets hate, it’s his one trip a year and a big deal, and I was through the worst of it.)
Spirograph says
This, adding to the chorus of “Go!” You’ll regret it if you don’t. His weekend with a sick kid is not going to be any better if you’re there, too. Two kids – one of them mildly ill – is a perfectly fine situation that a reasonable, healthy adult can handle for 2-3 days. If your husband were the one feeling bad with a fever, I might consider skipping the trip, but as long as he isn’t ill, you shouldn’t give this a second thought.
Once I asked my husband to come home early from a guys weekend that he’d tacked on to a work trip because two of three kids had the flu and then it knocked me out, too. But by the time he got back, I was kind of through the worst of it and I was sorry he’d changed his plans.
Anon says
Since a fever was involved, I’d see if your friends are still comfortable with you going first. I absolutely would want the information so I don’t get exposed to flu. But then I would go.
Anon says
Yeah I would be pretty annoyed if I was your friend and was exposed to flu/Covid.
OP says
of course i told/asked them/said i’d do whatever they are comfortable with! my friends don’t seem to care since i feel fine. they all work in healthcare so are probably exposed to stuff every day so probably have a different threshold than others might
Anon says
Ah – people aren’t mindreaders.
Anon says
Enh this seems like overkill to me. In my group of mom friends, this would apply to at least one person every time we hang out. And it’s not like people are announcing to all their coworkers, people in dentist waiting rooms, on the city bus, at the spa, in the library story time, etc that they had a child with a fever the other day even though there would be lots of exposure in those scenarios too. This is just part of life in the winter.
Anon says
Fever + known Covid exposure is pretty different than just a fever though. And I don’t think it’s crazy to expect more from close friends than from random people at the dentist.
Anonymous says
The calculation is possibly different, though, if people have kids in daycare vs. elementary school. In my area, the licensed daycares still have very strict rules about exclusion for Covid, even in household members (as required by the local health department). The public schools dropped those a long time ago.
Anon says
Right – fever plus known exposure is more than many people want to deal with. Simple cases of sniffles are different.
Anon says
So I’m pretty sure I’m having my second consecutive miscarriage. My doctor is taking the “sorry, this happens” approach, but I keep seeing articles about how miscarriages aren’t getting enough medical attention and would really prefer not to continue doing this blindly. What sort of referral am I looking for here? Any other advice? I get pregnant pretty easily, then growth stops around 6 weeks, but my body still reacts like I’m pregnant (nausea, high hcg) and I don’t actually miscarry until much later.
Anon says
I’m so sorry. I agree that miscarriages are treated like things that “just happen”, and while that is true many times, you are smart to push for answers. One thing that comes to mind is progesterone; I get my levels tested within a week or two of a positive test. Some mainstream gynecologists are dismissive, but there is evidence that low progesterone can lead to miscarriage (though, supplementation with not prolong an otherwise unviable pregnancy).
Another thought is that repeated miscarriage can be caused by a clotting disorder. (I believe Kat on the main page has talked about her experience with this, but it was probably at least a decade ago). Google will tell you more than I can, but I know women who have had repeated miscarriages (one of them, four early ones in a row) but once they are treated have gone on to have multiple healthy children.
Anon says
I’m so, so sorry. I would push your doctor for follow up and if you don’t get a good response, switch doctors. Others will have better recommendations as to where to start (fortunately my OB practice was on top of it for my miscarriage so I didn’t have to seek it out). That long article from a few months ago about the doctor in Minnesota (I think?) with the aggressive approach to miscarriages would be helpful for ideas.
anon says
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’d ask for a referral to maternal-fetal medicine, if you can’t get an appt without the referral.
Anonymous says
A fertility clinic. They actually spend a lot of time thinking about how to make sure people get take home babies. There’s a lot of testing and support for maintaining pregnancy that can be done.
Anon says
+1. They’ll do testing on you and your husband to rule out any diagnosable issues leading to your miscarriages. If an issue is identified, you’d end up there anyway.
I’m so sorry and best of luck.
Anon says
This. I see a fertility specialist for my PCOS and they are SO much better at dealing with all aspects of my reproductive health than my regular OB. I’m in perimenopause and they’ve had actual options for me to deal with symptoms other than ‘yea that happens, but you have migraines so no HRT for you!’.
Anon says
I’m so sorry. You’ll want to see an REI for further work up. Also, there are at home testing kits if you would like to do genetic testing on your products of conception. One is called Anora. Your OB will have to order it.
Anon says
Ask for RPL testing. Try to test the POC.
anon says
Fertility clinic / reproductive endocrinologist. Basic blood panels can tell a lot, too. Your OB may not be compelled to order them, so a RE would do that as a first step of intake. Post your location and I’m sure someone can make a personal rec (I can for the Boston area!). Good luck and hugs. I’m so very sorry.
Anonymous says
Just an anecdote here that I had 1 healthy pregnancy, 2 consecutive MCs (one missed, one early), and then a healthy pregnancy. I also get pregnant easily. I was really sad after the second one and almost contemplated giving up (it helped that I already had a kid), but it really can work out fine. 2 MCs is a lot for you emotionally, but it’s not super concerning, medically.
busybee says
This was me. I pushed back HARD against the “it just happens” trope. Ask for a recurrent pregnancy loss blood panel. The old guidance was that 3 miscarriages constituted RPL but many providers now say 2. It will include testing for certain antibodies. This sounds crazy but I had an overactive immune system that was killing the developing embryo. My successful pregnancies required me to be on immunosuppressants. Additionally, get your thyroid checked. TSH should be below 2.5 when trying to conceive.
I would go to a reproductive endocrinologist, not an OB or PCP. I spent dozens and dozens of hours researching on my own- legitimate medical journals, not just like WebMD articles . I found that it’s absolutely crucial to be well informed and educated about fertility issues. I wasted over a year trusting my doctor and then once I was able to push back respectfully (and find a new doctor) the tides turned.
busybee says
Sorry nesting fail! Meant as a response to the m/c poster
Anon says
I agree with this – don’t waste a long time messing around with a doctor who doesn’t take this seriously. Get a second opinion or two and push. Women’s pain matters too, even if nothing is found. You deserve to be heard and to have this explored.
Anonymous says
+1 to all this. Get to a RE who will listen to you.
Anon says
Wow that’s amazing you were able to pinpoint the issue. I had no idea an overactive immune response could be a factor.
busybee says
Wild, right? It’s not common, but there’s a whole field of reproductive immunology dedicated to it.
Anonymous says
I actually baked not one but two colleagues who experienced something similar. The first had a known autoimmune disorder, so they were able to help her as soon as she got pregnant. The other didn’t know she had it and experienced TWO failed rounds of IVF before they were like “whoops we forgot to check this: those would have been viable pregnancies.” I was livid on her behalf.
Anon says
I asked my doctor about testing for blood clotting disorders (since I already have one and thought I could be higher risk) and the response I got was “this could result in a loss around 20 weeks and then we would do testing.” Or….how about we do testing before I go through that hell? Luckily my (very reasonable) argument won the day.
busybee says
Yes, I had a similar “we forgot to check” experience at a nationally-renowned teaching hospital. That was largely the impetus that made me realize I had to be on top of my own care because my doctor wouldn’t necessarily be. Fertility is a big money-maker for a lot of providers and, call me cynical, those providers and networks (and the PE companies that often own them) stand to make a lot of money from repeated failed attempts.
Anon says
This is a distressingly common story; the science on autoimmune infertility isn’t widely incorporated into medical practice yet.
I also dislike any “let’s wait until there’s a pattern of miscarriage before worrying about X” public health guidelines. I didn’t feel like I had time to wait and see, let alone what felt like the cruelty of being asked to go through that!
Anonymous says
I would push for thyroid testing to start and ask your PCP if your OB won’t do it. My OBs were similarly reluctant to do anything until I had 3 m/c, but my PCP immediately did thyroid testing right after the first.
More toddler bed questions says
We recently moved DD to a toddler bed and we’re having trouble finding the right blanket/ quilt set up. She doesn’t like being in a sleep sack anymore, understandably, because it makes it awkward to get in and out of the bed. But the only things I can find are: a) baby quilts/ blankets, which are generally too small and too easy for her to kick off during the night, which makes her cold and wakes her up, or b) quilts/ blankets for normal beds, which are so big that she keeps losing her stuffed animals in them and getting upset. Has anyone found a good option for this? Her room is on the colder side, which makes it more challenging as well.
Anon says
There are toddler blankets that are sized in between baby blankets and normal twin sheets. You also may need to make your house a bit warmer.
Anon says
How old? Can you get sleep sacks with feet? That’s what my 2.75yo wears and it doesnt hamper his ability to get out of bed at all (multiple times a night, in fact). In the morning he can unzip it and take it off. We do full sheets and blankets, too, but he moves so much they don’t stay on.
You could also move her right to a twin, if that’s the eventual plan.
Anon says
I’ve never seen this, but sounds like exactly what we need (not OP, but in similar boat). Do you have a brand you like?
Anon says
We use Kyte baby and Woolino
Anon says
FYI Kyte recently had a big scandal where the CEO refused to let an employee work remotely from the NICU with a new baby. I wouldn’t be inclined to support them.
Anon says
Yah, two sides to every story. Her job was on-site and could not be done remotely, but the company said she could resume when she was ready to return. Probably should have had a little more empathy, but I don’t think this is some horrible scandal
Anonymous says
+1 to Woolino. I think Halo makes toddler sleep sacks with legs, too, but I wasn’t able to find them.
Anon says
Halo makes them too
anon says
You can also just double layer or choose extra warm PJs. It takes a while before they learn to keep a blanket on them.
OP says
I’ve heard of this mythical double layering of PJs–we tried it once and kiddo was so uncomfortable and ridiculous looking that I couldn’t stop laughing
NYC says
We wear thick PJs (like Hanna Anderson) and warm socks. We use a toddler sized blanket (Pottery Barn makes a lot of options). You could also try a throw blanket (like for a couch).
Anonymous says
Aden and Anais has a toddler sized blanket that we love. I bought it a couple years a go but I think it’s similar to this: https://www.adenandanais.com/cotton-muslin-dream-blanket-rock-star-6042
Anon says
We have a twin sized quilt from target that I fold in half but it is a mound of blankets.
Anonymous says
We have a “youth” sized blanket from Kyte Baby that I find to be a good size for a toddler bed. It’s bigger than a toddler sized blanket, but there’s not so much extra fabric that it’s cumbersome.
Anon says
We got a toddler bed-sized duvet from Crate & Barrel and this duvet cover, and it is awesome. Our daughter loves how cozy it is. It fits the toddler bed (crib that converted to a toddler bed by removing side/replacing with the little quarter panel rail) perfectly.
https://www.crateandbarrel.com/supersoft-elegant-pink-organic-cotton-gauze-toddler-duvet-cover/s218594
OP says
This looks very promising thank you!
Anonymous says
Do you have any random throw blankets lying around? That’s definitely what we used (until moving on to random twin sized blankets we had, which also work).
Anon says
There are toddler bed sized sheets and quilts/comforters. A set from Little Unicorn was gifted to us and we really like it.
OP says
Also very promising! The prints are so cute!
Anon says
Is the toddler bed crib sized? We used the Delta toddler bed set where the comforter and top sheet have elastic around the bottom, so they’re much more likely to stay on the bed than get kicked off during the night.
Chl says
We used the halo sleep sacks with foot holes
An.On. says
How about some thicker fleece from a fabric store or a thrift store that you can cut to measure?
Anonymous says
I’ve posted a lot about my now 2nd grade girls with behavior issues/?ADHD. At last update, we bumped her long awaited neuropsych from Nov to January because she was much more stable and also due to an insurance benefit that kicked in in 2024 (the first was the primary reason; the latter was a bonus!). $4800 out of pocket later (some of which will now be reimbursed), she did 2 days of NP testing.
We had a meeting with the NP last night and it seem like we are narrowing in on a dx- she tested out as gifted (1%) and is a “very borderline” adhd in combination with some delayed exec functioning which is within normal range…but she’s also very young for her grade which compounds things.
We are in a state that does not have a G&T program in the public schools, nor do I necessarily think she needs that at this stage. It’s super interesting to think about this poor 7.5 y/o who is academically/mentally advanced, emotionally a 6 year old, plopped down in 2nd grade with some attention issues. It’s an exact recipe for what we see. Even things like her explosive and uncontrolled behavior when tired are apparently likely her brain firing on all cylinders but the car is out of gas.
Her teacher loves her and has not flagged any issues this year. Frankly, it’s what we suspected- she could hit grade level benchmarks with 5% effort. It’s when the work gets harder and homework and long term planning projects kick in (middle school) or when the early elem scaffolding is removed (3rd/4th grade) that kids like her apparently start to struggle.
Would love any thoughts or insights as we start down this path.
anonamommy says
Glad you are getting close to some answers! You might check out the book Smart but Scattered – it has a lot of good information about the different types of executive functioning challenges and how to start scaffolding for it. And even absent a G&T program, can you work with her teacher on any sort of differentiation, or additional tasks that would keep her engaged more while also building up those EF skills?
Depending on what kind of test was done, you can also look into eligibility for Davidson Young Scholars or Johns Hopkins CTY, both of which have strong parent networks too.
Anonymous says
If her teacher this year is good and she’s young, can she just repeat this grade?
Anon says
Repeating the grade doesn’t make sense to me if she’s academically advanced. I think that will just lead to boredom, which will increase behavioral issues.
Anonymous says
OP here- I did bring that up in the parent meeting. Hands down horrible idea according to….everyone. Daughter included. They even said that we made the right call starting her in time vs red shirting her (she’s a summer bday in a district with a 9/1 cutoff). I am considering trying to “red shirt” her for some sports though- not for any kind of advantage but because she is struggling with the pace of the programs. She would do better if she were with the grade below. She’s not a skilled athlete so it might be allowed but I know there are Big Feelings about this for fairness so it may not work out. That said, she has a kid on her soccer team that is a year and 3 weeks older bc she was red shirted.
Anon says
Are there sports she can do that are age-based rather than grade-based?
anon says
I hear you. I had to leave soccer practice multiple times with a 5 yo who was melting down because “someone kicked my ball.”
Swimming and rec gymnastics might be good options. Kids compete in their age group and practices are set up so kids are always moving. It’s also more about competing against yourself (beat your own score/time) than directly against others. Both activities also build strength, cardio and coordination, which are great for general athleticism.
Anonymous says
She swims on the summer team; we skipped winter because she would be the youngest kid in the 7-8 group. We are hoping she’s interested in it next year when she will be middle of the pack age-wise.
Anonymous says
I was in a similar boat as your daughter, and I played “down” a level in Little League several years because my birthday was between the Little League age cutoff and the school cutoff. In my experience, it was great for sports because I got a lot more playing time and could keep up better (I was never a skilled athlete), but it was awkward socially because my classmates were all in a different league.
FWIW, my kid is not yet school age with a late birthday, and we’re on the fence about when she should start school, but we are definitely redshirting her for the neighborhood sports leagues.
Anon says
glad you are getting some additional info! sounds like eventually she might benefit from some executive functioning skills coaching. look up the website thinkingorganized dot com – the owner/founder has a background as an SLP but realized a lot of her clients had these executive functioning challenges.
Anon says
I don’t have advice on the ADHD component, but I’m a big fan of challenging gifted kids outside of school, rather than accelerating them academically too soon, which has negative social consequences and potentially even negative academic consequences (if subsequent grades don’t have the right academic infrastructure). In particular, I think studying a foreign language is great for gifted kids.
anon says
I have also chosen to challenge my gifted kid outside of school, but am very careful not to preempt material that will eventually be taught in school. I think that just makes the problem worse. Supplementing also has to be weighed against lots of time for exercise and free play, which are especially important for a young-for-grade kid.
Anon says
Yes, I agree! We’ve done some math outside of school but have been very careful to do it in a way that isn’t going to lead to boredom in the future. Foreign language and things like chess and music are better because they scratch the mental stimulation itch but don’t supplant the standard curriculum. And totally agree about time for free play, that’s very important too.
anon says
Totally agree on the foreign language point. I have one of my kids in language immersion and it adds a whole layer of challenge that she has to write and solve word problems in a second language. She’s in 2nd grade and we’re just now hitting more issues with boredom because now she’s gotten to the point where she’s basically fluent.
I’m not sure what we’ll do to keep her busy next, but writing and reading in a second language has been a good stretch for her while keeping her with her grade and in a public elementary school.
I’ll add that music lessons and creative problem solving (Odyssey of the Mind) are also great activities for a gifted kid.
anon says
I had high hopes language immersion would help with my kids…but unfortunately it took them about 3 months of K to pick up enough to go back to being bored academically. (They were by no means fluent, but as soon as you know the numbers for 1-50 it’s no longer mentally interesting to add 1+5, even if you’re doing it in a different language.)
Anonymous says
This is what we did. My kids are learning to read and write in 3 languages (immersion school
M-F + 3rd language Saturday morning school) plus we do a lot of camps that focus on their interests like (space or science) even if the schedule is a PITA.
Important to balance this with outdoor/free play activities like biking, forest daycamp etc.
I was bored to tears and barely had to study until law school. I didn’t want that for my kids.
anon says
I know several kids who have benefitted from before school exercise. It can take the edge off of attention issues and decrease impulsivity.
I’ll also add not to look for problems that aren’t ripe yet. I have a very-young-for-grade gifted kid and she’s matured a ton relative to peers over the past few years. The age difference seems smaller, and girls seem to mature before boys. We’re in a whole different place in 5th grade than we were in K, 1st or 2nd. It’s not perfect, but it’s also less of an issue than it was before.
Anonymous says
OP here- agree 100%. she “works out” most mornings in the basement. Gets up early, does flips and pull ups on the gymnastics bars, sometimes rides her bike, etc.
Waffles says
Is she sleeping all right? Adding in more activities could help a lot is because it could help her use energy more productively. If school is not enough to physically and mentally tire her out, she might not be able sleep well, which can lead to less than optimal behavior among the best of us.
My kid has a stunning level of energy. I was under so much peer pressure not to over-schedule her during early elementary, and her behavior was not the best. Now that she is doing lots of activities that she wants to do, she is sleeping so much better, and her behavior is great. Honestly, her energy level is probably double mine.
Monitoring nutrition to avoid spikes in sugar levels and hanger could also help. I’m not the best at enforcing this, but she knows that one sweet a day is enough.
Anonymous says
Yes, and no, and sometimes. Essentially this was a Major Problem for many years but we seem to have cracked the code on getting her just the right amount of physical stimulation so she’s tired and able to sleep but nto overtired and impossible to get to sleep.
Food is critical. She mercifully doesn’t love sweets and we have made some rules for her that she’s good with- she’s allowed to have dessert, but if it’s after dinner it needs to be fruit (which she loves). If she wants something like a cookie or cake, she can have it, just before 5pm. Yes, that’s not dessert, it’s a 4:30 piece of cake, but everyone wins and she still eats dinner. My other kids can handle sugar later in the day, and they sometimes choose to wait, but this kiddo knows she has a 5pm cutoff. She also likes getting up early to “work out” and we tell her if she wants to get up early she needs to be lights out by 8:15, which she has managed to self regulate on most nights. We don’t allow screens of any kind for our younger two after dinner. Our oldest can watch a sports game or use her ipad after dinner but only if she continues to prove to us that she can get herself ready for bed before the younger two are lights out and be in bed by her bedtime (9:15) and get herself up and to the bus every morning.
anon says
You’re an awesome, thoughtful mom.
Anon says
As she gets older look at sleepaway camps for gifted and talented kids. CTY is the most well-known one, but lots of major universities have them. Those were a lot of fun for me as a kid. It’s typically a good social experience, as well as a chance to pursue an academic interest that isn’t part of the standard K-12 curriculum (e.g., robotics, astronomy, etc.)
Anonymous says
CTY has completely melted down over the past few years. In summer 2022 they cancelled a huge number of in-person classes at the very last minute due to staffing issues. My daughter took two of the on-line courses. The writing course was okay but not anywhere as good as the in/person writing class I took as a kid. The science class was an absolute disaster. The lecture videos were dry and boring, the topics were taught in a nonsensical order, and the instructor was absolutely useless. It breaks my heart because CTY was a defining experience in my childhood, but I would not recommend wasting time and money on it now.
Russian-American says
A few people here mentioned that their kids goes to Russian School of Mathematics (RSM). Can you please tell me about your experience? We started in the fall, because my 3rd grader was complaining that the math at school was too easy. She was doing well, but then she started complaining that RSM math was boring too, we moved her to the next level class starting in January (the mid-level) and she’s complaining that one is “boring” too, it’s too much of the same thing over and over. She struggles with attention on the homework but gets it right when I can get her to actually focus, and the feedback from her teachers has been very positive, she’s getting As for classwork. I’m not sure what my question is here, just curious what other people’s experience has been.
In case it matters, I attended elementary school in Russia and the math at kid’s regular school seems like a joke to me. RSM math is almost-but-not-quite at grade level according to my cousin in Russia who has a 4th grader.
Anon says
I don’t have personal experience with RSM (I don’t think it exists in my area) but Math Circles (https://mathcircles.org) are something else to look into. That’s what we’re doing with my K-er who is 99th percentile in math. My understanding is that RSM is more about acceleration along the standard track, whereas Math Circles is more about intuitive problem solving and doing the kind of math kids don’t get much exposure to in school. Per the gifted discussion above, we’re trying not to replace the regular curriculum since that can lead to school boredom. My husband is a research mathematician and also feels the kind of problem solving they do in Math Circles is more useful for the proof-based math you encounter in college and grad school.
Anonymous says
Along those lines, I would look at Art of Problem Solving and Beast Academy. I agree with OP that school mathematics instruction moves too slowly—my kids were first encountering material in “advanced” fourth and fifth grade classes that we covered in second grade at my Title 1 elementary school 30 years earlier—but I also think that a big reason kids get bored in math is that the concepts and algorithms are not derived. We didn’t do Beast Academy elementary math but we did use the AOPS algebra book, which is set up to lead the kids through deriving the properties of algebra on their own. It is perfect for kids who hate math when it is taught by rote.
Anon at 12:11 says
Yes, we’ve been using the Beast Academy workbooks for our kindergartner too, and I think it’s a good way to go deeper into math concepts. The first book is basically all about counting which sounds super simple, but they really go into it in interesting ways that make you think.
anon says
I didn’t like RSM because I felt like it was just accelerating the math that they would eventually do in school and not teaching it any better or more in depth. Kids would then just end up bored in their regular math class. Also, my personal (limited) experience was that the teachers weren’t particularly great so I ended up just teaching my kids the material, which I didn’t have time for.
Fallen says
I send both kids. Have nothing but great things to say. It helped my oldest (5th grade) go from being meh in math after missing a year of school from COVID to being in the most advanced class possible and love math, and she is on track to take Algebra 1 in 7th grade (which is crazy to me because I took it in 9th grade). My K kid has shocked us all with some of the things he can do (he understands simple multiplication etc.) and I have nothing but RSM to credit for that (I don’t do math, in fact I can’t help my 5th grader with her RSM homework because I don’t understand it).
The one downside I have is that the kids find it annoying to go. I wouldn’t say the hate it but the don’t love it. The reason I send them is because I sucked at math bc my parents (Russian) were both math majors/almost got a math PhD and helped me a little too much with my homework and it made HS incredibly painful for me because I didn’t understand the basics. So I want my kids to have the basics down / not have to struggle. I don’t know how long they will keep doing it. I force it on the K kid but my older daughter decides she want to continue because she noticed how much it helps her in school. If she says she wants to stop we will let her stop.
Anon says
My kids go to one of those super competitive schools in a major metro area so we definitely know kids who do it. Both are in elementary. I’m close with the math coordinator and asked her about it and she told me two things.
First, she said don’t do it unless the kids want to. And by want to, she means would choose it over another extracurricular. So if given the choice between gymnastics and math or soccer and math or art class and math, they choose math, then go for it! Second, she doesn’t believe in teaching kids math earlier that they would be learning later – no real benefit to an accelerated schedule in her mind. As she pointed out, once they get to real analysis and linear algebra freshman year of college, most people don’t progress further. There’s an end point. So she’d rather go deep than go fast. And she doesn’t think out of school math tends to go deep. My kids would both choose other extracurriculars over math, so that’s where I left it!
Anon says
I was raised by two math professors and very accelerated in math (I took algebra in 6th grade and calculus as a freshman in high school) and I agree with your math coordinator completely! I would also add that I think a lot of people who are dramatically accelerated (me included) peak very early and don’t live up to their seemingly great potential, whether that’s due to burnout or something else.
Having so much college math in high school did help me get into a really top tier college (I’m assuming, the rest of my application was good but very generic), so if that’s your end game it may pay off. It’s not what I want for my own kids though.
Anon says
I have b/g twins, age 4.5. Over the last year, it’s really clear that my son is lagging physically behind his sister and other kids his age. His teacher and I had a long talk yesterday, and she’s seeing delays in planning and processing (like, he really struggles to put on his shoes or his jacket by himself), and he just gets physically exhausted on the playground/will not engage in physical play with other kids (low muscle tone is how she put it). Her observations are completely consistent with what we’ve seen at home and around peers.
We have him going in for a full PT/OT evaluation over the next few weeks, but I guess I’m looking for encouragement that it will improve. He just…can’t hang, and it breaks my heart. We took him sledding over the winter, and he hated it because it was too hard to walk in his snow boots. He can’t make it through a 30 min rec dance or basketball class without wanting to rest. He gets frustrated so easily when trying to complete tasks that other kids his age seem to manage effortlessly. I still carry him pretty frequently. I don’t need him to be an athlete – but he is just so completely different from his twin sister and my older child, and the gaps in abilities of doing normal day to day stuff feels like it increases every single day as they get older. I’ve never had a child like this, and I’m really struggling with whether he’s just different from my other kids/if this is an issue that will improve with time and some support.
Anon says
This sounds like my 6 year old, although not quite as extreme and she’s an only child so I don’t have the comparison point. It’s not a huge shock to me. I was always really unathletic and out of shape (not overweight, but out of shape in the cardiovascular sense). We saw an OT who said she had low tone, so we did about six months of OT and didn’t see much improvement. I feel like we saw more improvement through activities like ninja and swimming and those things were more fun for her and cheaper for us, so we just decided to continue those activities and quit OT. She has definitely gained strength and endurance in the last year, but ultimately she is still less athletic than probably 98% of kids her age but… it is what it is, you know? She has moments of being sad about it (she’s pretty much the only kid in her grade who can’t do the monkey bars, and she’s not even close), but I feel like it’s part of life. Not everyone can be good at everything, and there are things that come much easier to her than others.
The planning and processing delays might be something else though.
Anonymous says
It might be worth doing a full genetics panel. A friend’s baby started showing issues like this – granted much younger, I think when she was around 12 months. Low muscle tone, slow to meet milestones, etc. Both parents are doctors, which I think helped them spot it early. It turns out she has a very rare genetic mutation and they are now trying to develop a custom therapy to trial in partnership with researchers. Even without the treatment ready to go, they’ve been able to make some changes to her diet etc. that have made a difference, based on what they learned about some of her protein deficiencies.
I really hope for you that your son’s issue is less severe, but if you could find out sooner rather than later that a special diet or similar intervention could make a difference, it certainly seems worth a shot.
Anon says
Thanks to both of you. I wonder if I should contact his pediatrician about blood work. I am starting to worry that it is deeper than just “hey, kids develop differently at all stages,” which has been my party line for the last year or so. There’s no concern about cognitive development — other than the inability to get his clothes on, but the teacher suggested that might even be a strength thing. I didn’t include this in my original post because I’m not sure it’s relevant or how relevant it is — but my husband and I were both serious athletes from a young age. Our oldest is not into sports, but has always had a very strong sense of body awareness/strength. His twin is advanced physically, so he is a total outlier from everyone in his nuclear family. I guess for a while, we all just thought – hey, the other two might be a little ahead with respect to physical milestones and he’s just not into physical play, but no big deal – he’s just finding his own path. But, now he’s fallen behind all kids his age (as confirmed by his teacher) and is like a full year (or more) behind his twin.
Anon says
I think you’re thinking on the right track wanting more testing. Pediatricians can sometimes err on the side of reassurance, and often there are things they’re just not familiar with too if they’re not specialists. Some of the conditions that can present this way are so treatable. I think it’s fine to prefer to be reassured by test results than by “kids are different” at this point.
A says
I don’t want to be alarmist, but I would trust your gut and get a whole battery of tests. I have not experienced this, but an extended family member had a toddler who wasn’t meeting physical milestones and had low muscle tone but was kind of shoved off as “every kid is different, she’ll catch up” – turned out kid had a brain tumor preventing her muscles from working right. She’s in treatment and doing fine now, has almost caught up physically, but as a parent it was a real wake up call to take those reassurances with a grain of salt if your gut is telling you hmm, this is too far behind typical.
Anon says
Thanks to all of you for your encouragement. Making the call to the pediatrician today.
Anon says
There are lots of medical issues that could be potential causes, from anemia to a heart condition. Many of those can be ruled out with simple bloodwork.
Anon says
Yeah this was my gut reaction too, a partial chromosomal deletion (which definitely can be spontaneous in one child, even a twin, and not others). Would be surprising for a kid to make it this long into childhood without serious noticeable effects, but I guess if the deletion was small enough it would be theoretically possible.
Anon says
You say you’ve never had a child like this – how many children have you had? Sounds like you have 3 kids total? There will be many issues you encounter along the way with each of your kids that you haven’t seen before. I have fraternal twin girls and one has been in OT for similar issues to what you’re describing. They recently recommended PT for her as well, but we can’t fit it into our schedule. The twin element makes it harder for sure in a way that other people don’t really get and I’m sure that in your case given the opposite genders and stereotypes associated with each makes it even harder. My twin in OT is also physically much bigger than her sister and is also getting really hard to carry. We’ve seen a lot of progress but it’s hard when they both want to do dance or soccer and it’s so much easier for one than the other. It’s also hard to tell the twin that doesn’t struggle that she must put on her own shoes, when her own sibling doesn’t have to. Hang in there- the right OT or PT therapist can make a world of difference. Though I’ll admit that it’s near impossible to fit in the daily exercises they want us to do.
Anon says
Yeah, it was a clunky way to say that he is a total physical outlier amongst his siblings, first cousins, and parents/biological aunts & uncles. And it didn’t feel like it mattered, really, when we thought it was just what his preferred activities were (his siblings and cousins will make a beeline for the swing set, while he sits inside quietly playing Lego at my feet), but now, his activity levels and capabilities feel more like a limitation, rather than a preference. So, I guess, family history does feel relevant that maybe more is going on, and I’m just … worried that I missed something by going out of my way to let him develop at his own speed/not push him towards any particular activity :(
Anon says
I think you’re right to explore this as a limitation rather than a preference. Best of luck and please keep us updated.
Anonymous says
How well does he sleep? If the majority of issues are fatigue complaints related I would look at quality and duration of sleep. One of my twins needs at least an hour more sleep per night than his brother, we had to put them in separate rooms.
SC says
We had many of these concerns about my son. My FIL, who’s a doctor and has a friend whose son had similar issues, suggested we see an endocrinologist when DS was 5.5. After a long journey that I won’t bother to detail here, D.S. started growth hormone when he was almost 8. Within a month, he was eating better, sleeping better, had more physical energy during the day. He played with friends more, and had better emotional regulation. His personality comes through much more. He zooms around the house like a normal kid, and we can go on 30 minute walks. Physically, he’s gained weight, and his muscle tone has improved. Since he eats more, his GI motility is better, and he has fewer problems with constipation. He’s grown taller too, but he hasn’t actually caught back up to the curve he was between birth and 3 years old yet.
Obviously, your son’s lack of energy could be just who he is, or could have a completely different medical explanation. But I’d encourage you to seek medical explanations. Get some blood testing done. Make an appointment with a pediatric endocrinologist.
Anon says
Does Patagonia run large for toddlers? I missed the start of the sale and 4T is sold out in the style I want (hi loft down hoodie jacket/coat) but 3T is available. My 37 month old is average height and 25th percentile weight and wondering if he will fit into 3T next winter..
Anon says
Unfortunately in my experience no. If anything I size up (but granted my kids are super tall). Great quality and worth the money though!
Anon says
I think Patagonia runs large in smaller sizes (24M and below) but TTS above that (3T and up). For example, my 18 month old is in a 18M jacket that still fits but wearing 2 and 3T clothing. My 3 year old is in 5T clothing and a 5T jacket.
Anon says
Going on a 16-hour flight with our 3-year old in a couple weeks. The flight is a redeye. I got a Flyaway bed for him. What medicine can we give him to get him to sleep on the flight? Dramamine? Melatonin? Rx from his pediatrician?
Anon says
Melatonin is probably the best bet, but I’d want to do a trial run before the flight. Everyone reacts differently to meds and I’d want to test effectiveness and rule out weird side effects (for example, Benadryl makes many kids drowsy, but has the opposite effect in some kids, including mine).
At that age, I’d keep your expectations modest for sleep. The plane environment is stimulating (even for kids who fly a lot) and it’s hard to settle 3 year olds down and make them sleep. But you’ll survive even if you don’t get much sleep on the flights.
anon says
We’ve had good luck getting kids that age to sleep without any meds, especially if you have a bed set up so they can lie down flat.