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Anton says
Anyone have a real-person recommendation to help with thinning hair? Probably this is hormonal and nothing a shampoo can fix but I am curious if anyone has something they feel has worked?
Anne-on says
I’d see a dermatologist – mine has a doctor who specializes in hair issues/hair replacement. I had a shocking amount of hair loss during covid due to stress (apparently super common) and they diagnosed it quickly as ‘normal’ stress related hair loss, told me they already saw healthy regrowth and that it’d improve over time. They also confirmed the pills/supplements sold (biotin, etc.) were essentially useless which was helpful to hear. I believe the earlier you take action the better so I’d go to a doctor before trying supplements.
Anton says
So the derm told you no intervention was necessary in your case?
HSAL says
Rogaine foam has worked for me (all tests normal, probably just genetics per my doctor) and I wish I’d started it sooner. I’m also considering Nutrafol. I tried to do Viviscal but never noticed a difference.
Mrs. Jones says
viviscal + rogaine foam
Anon says
I tried to switch to a natural deodorant while TTC due to wanting to clean up my cosmetics, but it’s just not working. I need to go back to the real deal, but curious if anyone has found an anti-perspirant that is at least somewhat better than others in terms of including harmful chemicals. Not interested in a debate over the word “chemicals,” but I generally mean that I would like to avoid harsh fragrances, endocrine disruptors, and known irritants. Any ideas?
Anonymous says
No. If you buy into the marketing that anti-perspiration is dangerous then none of it will meet your standards.
Anne-on says
I don’t remember if I posted it here or on the main board but using acids as a deodarant apparently works well:
https://www.racked.com/2018/2/20/17021612/natural-deodorant-acid
Anonymous says
Dove makes an aluminum free version which is kind of a good in between, I’ve found, although it might not avoid all the things on your list. It has a subtle fragrance but probably comes in unscented as well. The natural options I’ve tried either don’t work well or really irritate me (baking soda).
Anon says
I like Think Magnesium deodorant
Anon says
This works like a champ and is scent free but I am sure it has all the chemicals (I am certainly OK with that, but YMMV), my concern is that I have very sensitive skin: https://www.target.com/p/secret-clinical-strength-invisible-solid-antiperspirant-and-deodorant-for-women-free-38-sensitive-1-6oz/-/A-16728928?ref=tgt_adv_xsp&AFID=google&fndsrc=tmnv&DFA=71700000106341747&CPNG=PLA_DVM%2Ba064R000011e3TzQAI-P%26G_Hair_Native_Google_2023-871415&adgroup=PLA_P%26G&LID=700000001393753pgs&network=g&device=c&location=9007580&gclid=CjwKCAjwuqiiBhBtEiwATgvixOOAvpkgFlDkL3TDvQ9xacuBsrCQZaG43ZdWk_Pt7AIB0V2A1z3knhoCunwQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
Anonymous says
For things like this I prioritized avoiding fragrances/endocrine disrupters but was fine with aluminum. So that was an unscented antiperspirant. I looked at the recommendations on It Starts with the Egg.
Anon says
That’s exactly what I’m looking for – I’ll deal with the aluminum, but no parabens, for example. Did you find any particularly good brands?
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Thank you for the comments re Girl Scouts yesterday – I was a scout for a most of my time in grade school (through most of HS), and my brother was a boy scout for a lengthy time as well. I wasn’t sure what was co-ed vs. not – helpful to know that BSA is co-ed; looks like DS #1 will be a cub scout in the Fall after all!
anon says
Yeah, BSA is now co-ed (though how that works in practice varies–some troops have co-ed packs and some only have single-gender packs), but GSUSA plans to stay girls-only, as they believe that’s an important space to maintain.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Good for GS! No argument here, I agree that a lot of what GS does is likely more valuable in a protected space. We used to go backpacking as a troop in middle school, and I can’t imagine that have being as valuable with tween boys in the 90s…
I was just trying to be a lazy mom and figured hey if he can get his scouting fill at aftercare…why not? :)
GCA says
I missed it yesterday but yes, BSA is co-ed, Girl Scouts maintains a single-gender space (which I think has value for sure). Again, how it functions will probably depend on the leadership of your specific pack and dens. In theory a BSA den is single-gender, in practice… [guffaws in organizational logistics — DH and I are both den leaders].
DS (8) is in Cub Scouts this year and we’re hoping to get DD into Cub Scouts as well when she starts K, assuming we can find a pack that fits our values after we move.
Mary Moo Cow says
My daughter surprised me by asking to join Cub Scouts, and we’ve loved it. There are more girls than boys in her den, which amuses all the parents. DH and I take turns taking her to meetings and I signed him up to be Pack Treasurer next year so she sees that moms and dads participate in extracurriculars. I hope you have a similarly enjoyable experience!
Anon says
I really want there to be single-sex opportunities for my daughter, especially in the outdoors. That’s really important to me.
Anonymous says
Yup, this. Girls act totally different around boys starting from a young age.
Anonymous says
For my daughter it’s not about how girls act around boys. It’s about the boys’ pushing the girls out of the way.
Anon says
Tangential question: Is Boy Scouts more overtly religious than Girl Scouts? In my area all the boy scout dens seem to be church-based (explicitly, like the XYZ Church Den, not just a group of people who happen to know each other through church) but Girl Scouts seems to be more secular and school- or neighborhood-based.
Anonymous says
I think it’s pretty regional/ has to do with how things have historically been in your area.
Anon says
Makes sense. I live in a very churchy area. I just thought the difference between BS and GS was interesting. We were already leaning towards GS for our daughter but this solidified it because we’re not Christian.
GCA says
Yes, we live in a very diverse area. There are kids whose families are Buddhist (religious, no gods involved), Hindu (religious, many gods involved), agnostic and humanist. There are kids whose families are essentially Quaker and don’t recite the Pledge of Allegiance or salute the flag. All are perfectly able to uphold the spirit of scouting :) it’s very locally-dependent because the local BSA charter organization is often a church; GSA works on a different model.
Anonymous says
It’s GSUSA, not GSA.
GCA says
sorry, too-fast fingers
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1 to this – we also live in an incredibly diverse city. I’m Hindu, grew up and currently live in a red state, and even when I was in scouts in the 90s it wasn’t religious.
My brother’s boy scouting experience was similar except they met at a rec room in a church, but that doesn’t bother me. I think our neighborhood den also meets at a church. He does remember a lot of his fellow scouts coming from families that were religious/Christian and more conservative than our family, but it was never an issue in terms of being left out or forced to behave a certain way. I’m also more tolerant of this having grown up where I have.
BSA definitely has warts but I also like the idea of changing things from the inside, and I also firmly believe that the skills learned in scouting are important.
I will always say that the Gold Award for Girl Scouts is WAY more difficult and involved than the Eagle Scout. :)
Anonymous says
+1 on Gold Award v. Eagle Scout. Sadly, the Eagle Scout award seems to carry a lot more prestige, although now that I’ve seen how superficial it is I tend to look unfavorably at kids who have wasted their time on it.
EP-er says
I am involved in both GS and BSA, and both troops are affiliated with schools. I find BSA more religious: to get the Cub Scout Arrow of Light, you must complete the “Duty to God Adventure.” “Tell how you have done your duty to god” is a rank advancement question for Scouts BSA. You cannot become an Eagle Scout (and may be kicked out sooner) if you claim to be an atheist. That said, like so much of scouting, it is really up to the leaders on how much this is enforced. We live in a very diverse area and our troop doesn’t care which religion you participate in. As an agnostic, it has been interesting helping my son navigate these questions and have him figure out what he believes in. But I do wish it was more secular.
Girl Scouts has a “My Faith, My Promise” award but it is optional. Our troop lets girls do it on their own with their family, if they are interested in it.
octagon says
BSA is not only overtly religious but is anti-gay. They do not allow openly gay individuals to participate as scouts or as leaders.
Anon says
I thought they changed that a while back? (Still too late though, of course…)
Anon says
I don’t think this is true anymore? The bans were repealed years ago. (That said, much about Scouts leaves a bad taste in my mouth, and I’d just as soon stay away)
Anonymous says
This policy ended a decade ago. I think leadership is still Mormon and this homophobic but they do allow gays to participate now.
octagon says
Perhaps the policy has been technically amended but a friend of mine volunteered to be a leader (his son was in the troop) and was denied. They gave some reason about how his religious values were inconsistent with what they wanted to teach. He is Episcopalian (though non-practicing) so it was a garbage reason.
BSA fought all the way to the Supreme Court to have the right to discriminate against gays — less than a decade ago! That tells me all I need to know about the organization.
Anonymous says
That must be troop-specific–I know more than one gay person who is a BSA leader. I don’t understand why they’d want to be, but they are.
Anon says
If you want to skip scouting for your family, that’s obviously okay. Plenty of other things to do.
Kindly, by this logic/judgement you presented all of us who are pro-choice should never go outside of a blue state. And those of us pro-choice in red states should “just move”. This is why us liberals can’t have nice things.
Anon says
I’m a red state liberal and I didn’t read Octagon’s comment as judgment. She’s just saying what her views are and I’m not sure why the leap to “these is why we [liberals] can’t have nice things.” Choosing not to have your kids participate in an organization with a history of overt discrimination isn’t the same as suggesting no one should live in red states. Personally, BSA is a hard pass for our family too. The history is pretty horrifying. I view it differently than something like Chick Fil A because the whole point of the Boy Scouts org is to shape my kid’s world views and morals, whereas the point of the chicken place is to feed me a tasty sandwich. Anti-gay views are much more problematic in the former situation to me. But I also understand why someone might feel inclined to boycott the chicken – everyone can make different choices.
AwayEmily says
Wait, liberals can’t have nice things because someone said “I don’t want to participate in an organization that discriminated against my friend”? This seems totally reasonable to me. I also think it is very reasonable for a conservative to not want to participate in an organization that has values they’re not comfortable with. It doesn’t seem like a particular quirk of liberals to not want to involve your kids in organizations that don’t share your values.
Anon says
Our GS troop (and many others) starts our meetings with the promise and law and they are said at all official events. There is a reference to serving God and my country, but the troop leader guidance states that members can substitute for their own spiritual beliefs (I understand national prefers the “official” version at national events but haven’t been so can’t speak to that). I would talk to your anticipated troop leader about it; I know a couple of troops that have made substitutions along the lines of “community” instead for scouts who are not Christian. Also our troops are generally formed based on school areas but then there is an open season where people can transfer to find a better fit (I have one student in my troop who does private school but is in our public school district boundary).
Anonymous says
Our entire service unit swapped “community” in for all God references.
anon says
Same here.
Anon says
Echoing that it totally depends on the group. Our troop is chartered by a church because we’ve been meeting there for years and years, but we have zero affiliation with the church other than doing service events for them. Consequently we barely touch the religious aspects. Other troops are different.
Anon says
In the 2000s, my brother had to get a recommendation letter from a religious leader in order to complete the Eagle Scout. If I recall correctly, it didn’t matter what religion, but you had to have a religion. He was able to get a letter from a church that we hadn’t attended for over ten years, but I thought it was ridiculous.
This was 20 years ago, so it may have changed since then
anon says
Some I know who was charged criminally with sexual assault was still permitted to finish his eagle scout and participate in the ceremony. Gag. I know this isn’t fair to paint the whole organization, but no thanks.
Nigela says
Hello ladies, excuse the cross-post, I am looking for tips on how to best screen a candidate for in-home childcare. What are some questions to ask the candidate. How do you follow up with references? Is there a script I should follow? I had a sitter last year when I was wfh but they proved unreliable, so I’m hoping to not make the same mistakes again.
Anon says
Definitely talk to as many references as you can – ask for phone numbers and reach out by text to set up a call, and also try to meet up in person with at least one person to verify they are “real.” (this may sound paranoid, but…)
Otherwise I’d come up with a list of questions about things that are importnat to you, including schedule, comp, discipline philosophy, whether you’re aligned on screen time, willingness to make meals, and also personality questions like what they do for fun, what jobs have worked out great for htem in the past and which not so great and why.
anon says
In my area, there agencies that place a lot of the best career nannies. The nannies will work with a family for 5-10 years, then go back to the agency for a new family when the children age out of needing a nanny. The agencies are expensive for the family, but weed out a lot of bad fits and do a lot of diligence (and will often have reference reports going back decades).
In my area, it’s important to go with a longstanding, independent agency. There are some franchise/chain agencies that don’t provide the quality you’re looking for.
No Face says
I did a phone or zoom screen first, where I outlined my expectations. I made a list of questions that were important to me. I always invite lots of questions from the candidate and get them talking. Next stage is meeting in person with the kids. If all the vibes are good, I hire.
Anon says
am i overthinking this, or should i just let it be – my kids’ preference would be to eat protein waffles/pancakes with syrup every day for breakfast. (i miss the days before DH we insisted we introduce them to syrup). i’m fine with them having pancakes or waffles with almond butter or peanut butter. i am not some crazy sugar lady – they have yogurt that has sugar in it, plenty of sweets (cupcakes, cookies, candy, etc. – obviously not all of that every day), but it seems like all they want to do is eat sweet things and the idea of them having syrup most days just seems like a bad habit to get into? thoughts?
Anon says
I’d let it be. Seems like a quick and filling breakfast. (My only caveat is that if it’s the fake-syrup-corn-sludge I’d try to wean them to real syrup…but I don’t have a problem with a little real syrup each morning.) So much of breakfast food is sweetened – even when we make oatmeal from scratch, we sweeten it with maple syrup! – so this might be an out-of-the-frying-pan-into-the-fire situation if you tried to switch it up.
NYCer says
+1. I also would only offer real maple syrup, but beyond that, I wouldn’t worry about it. Kids go through so many phases with eating (at least my kids do), they will probably switch off the pancakes and syrup shortly anyways.
Anon says
My 5 year old who has eaten a bagel with cream cheese for breakfast every day since she was 16 months old would beg to differ ;)
NYCer says
Ha! My kids eat the same thing over and over, and then suddenly decide they are on to something new, and will proceed to eat that new thing over and over.
Anonymous says
I love the real maple syrup vs flavored corn syrup thing… I grew up with Log Cabin and despite going to actual sugar farms, I didn’t realize there was a difference until high school when my aunt married a Canadian who set me straight.
One of my kids is a total snob about it and will only eat real maple syrup. Another one will only eat flavored corn syrum. She’ll eat a waffle with only butter before she puts real maple syrup on it.
Anonymous says
My kids fight eating breakfast at all so I’d let it be. Maybe do more protein than pancake if that helps?
One of mine will only eat nutella and bread for breakfast and IDGAF. She eats veggies as desserts and hates nearly all sweets (nutella is a rare exception). at the end of the day she’s eating healthier than anyone else in the family.
Anon says
I think almost any other breakfast that is at all processed (yogurt, cereal, grocery store bread for toast) would have equal or more sugar. So I’d let it be.
anonM says
I wouldn’t do this every day, but more because if I make something a Daily Routine, then it invites tantrums if I deviate, and I want some flexibility on breakfast/food in general. But I’d be less worried on syrup itself. Maybe you can get them to sprinkle some coconut flakes or sliced almonds on top sometimes, just to mix it up? Make banana pancakes some of the time? (Those freeze well). My kids are also very messy so syrup is for weekends in our house, so kudos if yours don’t need a bath right after, haha!
No Face says
My kids eat pancakes with real maple syrup every morning. I’ve reduced sugar in other ways.
AwayEmily says
I would let it be.
Spirograph says
Protein waffles with syrup are currently in heavy rotation in my house, too. It’s not a battle I choose to fight. If you don’t want them to have syrup, “oops we’re out of waffles today, do you want yogurt or cereal today instead?”
Anonymous says
I think protein pancakes or waffles with maple syrup are a fine choice for breakfast. I’ll echo others that I’d sub maple for HFCS syrup. A bit of a counterpoint: DH (who has some food issues) insists that everyone eat eggs for breakfast. This is a great idea, in theory, and it comes from a place of love – he really wants them to start off the day with a solid foundation. But in reality it’s led to a LOT of battles between him and my oldest, who isn’t a breakfast person, and my youngest, who only wants to eat carbs. I try to stay out of it, because I think his heart is in the right place. Also, after about age 3.5 the food battles really seem to stop regardless of what we serve, so with the youngest I’m just trying to wait it out. I guess I believe kids know what their bodies need and he just sort of doesn’t? Feeding Littles had a post this past week that made me more compassionate about DH’s situation. Anyway, hope that helps.
Anonymous says
My husband is always trying to get everyone to eat eggs too. I think it’s because it’s something concrete he can check off to reassure himself that he is a good parent/spouse: I fed them protein!
OP says
thanks all. it is pure maple syrup. guess i will let it go. when i was a kid i definitely ate A LOT of sugary stuff (i think we had fruit loops in rotation for breakfast and to be honest i dont have the healthiest relationship with sweets (i can either eat 0 cookies or a whole box) and am trying to change that for my kids. i generally try not to make a big deal about sweets, like they eat whatever they want at a bday party etc. but they are like obsessed with sweets and ask every day when they can have sweets etc.
Anonymous says
I don’t think this is the end of the world. I would just carefully manage quantities. Half a cup of maple syrup is a lot different than half a tablespoon!
Anon says
Yeah, that’s where I fall too. I have a kid who drowns her pancakes in syrup so they’re an occasional treat. If she was using a quarter-sized dollop I’d be much more comfortable with it as a daily breakfast.
Anon says
well this is my main issue – they always want more syrup and get hysterical. one kid likes to dip and one kid likes to cover her whole waffle in it. perhaps i should purchase reusable shot glasses or the like and that can be their quantity of syrup
Anonymous says
Ugh I totally sympathize with this problem! I’ve had good luck with giving it them syrup in a small ramekin (probably closer to three tablespoons?) They can dip or douse – their choice, but when it’s used up, that’s all folks!
TheElms says
I agree this probably doesn’t matter. But if you want to change it could you brainstorm other toppings that the kids would like with pancakes/waffles? And make syrup just one of 3 or 4 topping choices? You could do (1) nut butter with sprinkles (if that would help/appeal), (2) cream cheese, (3) jam (probably no better than syrup but you could cook down some frozen fruit or sauté apples with a bit of sugar and cinnamon once a week), and then syrup is the 4th choice.
Anon says
If you want something “healthy,” I’ve made raspberry syrup before for waffles and pancakes. Sometimes we put jam on them, though I guess that’s really just more sugar in a different form. Your approach sounds fine to me, though. :)
Anonymous says
We do every second day for pancakes/waffles just for variety. Use real maple syrup and we pour 2-3 tablespoons into a little container/cup for each kid. Just having the bottle on the table was too many spills, overpours and fights between the kids for the bottle for me to deal with before work.
Anonymous says
We don’t allow it every day, but it has a lot to do with the underlying waffles. Kiddo isn’t a fan of the ones with actual nutritional value. In our house we have “Waffle Wednesday”. And then she typically has them at least once on the weekend, too.
anon says
We only do syrup on weekends (they can have pancakes with butter on school days, if they want) but that’s not so much a sugar issue as that my 6yo is still a mess when eating and I don’t want to fight a daily battle about washing her sticky hands and face after breakfast.
Anonymous says
I just limit the syrup to about a tablespoon.
Relieved says
No advice as we have the same problem at our house! We’re pretty laid back about sugar, but Ive been worried about real maple syrup several days a week (also my husbands doing). I’m relieved by the comments here tbh and maybe I’ll lighten up.
anon says
Has anyone here managed a maternity leave at a small/own business/firm? I work for one attorney, nearing retirement, with limited staff. Clients are institutional, so more akin to in-house in some ways. We are considering trying for #3, but career-wise I’m struggling with what that could look like. I WFH, so could have a very short mat leave and then work limited hours for a while, but there is not another associate to just hand my cases to. Nor am I in an area of law where I could just stop accepting new clients and gear-down and back up. If we do this soon, though, at least I could still have clients call my boss for a short mat leave. Has anyone done a short mat leave or otherwise found ways to keep clients when you don’t have a large staff? Been chewing on this for awhile, and on the fence in general about another kiddo.
Anonymous says
Do you think after your boss retires, they’d be willing to come back as a consultant during your leave?
anon says
I think he’ll still be working then. But currently relies on me for a lot of the day-to-day writing, filing, etc.
Anon says
I did an 8 week maternity leave at a 2 partner firm (I was one of the partners) with only administrative staff. My partner handled any calls that couldn’t wait. I’m sure I lost new clients (clients that called to make a new appointment while I was gone), but I don’t believe that I lost any preexisting clients. However, I did answer questions/concerns that were passed to me from staff while I was on leave from preexisting clients that were having a crisis. 8 weeks was all that I was willing to risk as far as being almost 100% unavailable since I’m not making money if I’m not working. 8 weeks was also the minimum age I could send my child to daycare, so it worked out.
anon says
Thanks for the info! Do you think looking back you could have done shorter, like 4 or 6 weeks, if you had a nanny and WFH?
Anon says
Yes, I was ready to be back in that role earlier than 8 weeks. I needed something other than baby duty to occupy my mind. That’s just my personality type.
Anonymous says
You won’t know this until after your delivery. A lawyer I used to work with (30-40 years older than I am) had been a teacher when her kids were born and she went back to work, I kid you not, two days after delivery. I was physics not able to stand upright at that point. So YMMV.
Anon says
I will also say this and I’m sure you already know it because you have had two previously: There is no planning with pregnancy and babies. You could have complications and be on bed rest. You could have a NICU baby. Even the best planning could be for naught if circumstances change.
Anonymous says
Approach retired lawyers you know in your practice area. I’m in govt but my father had a construction law practice and retired – he was asked to come back to cover a maternity leave for 4 months and jumped at the chance. He had zero interest in going back to a full time practice and would not have done it if he had been retired so long that his skills weren’t fresh (he was retired maybe 3-4 years?). Timing was key – he was delighted to work with ready made clients for January to April but would have been a hard no on June to September as he and my mother basically decamp to the cottage for the summer.
Anon says
I might be late in the day for this- but when hosting a kids bday party do you have enough cupcakes for all the adults? We’re expecting 73 people (includes parents and siblings) and that’s a lot of cupcakes…
Mary Moo Cow says
Nope! I include siblings in the talley but not adults.
Anonymous says
I would have enough that the adults could have cake or cupcakes but not both. Definitely enough cupcakes for all children plus about half the number of adults. If you are doing cupcakes instead of cake, then you should have enough for both adults and children.
NYCer says
+1.
OP – Just out of curiosity, where are you hosting this party?!
anon says
+1
Mrs. Jones says
Yes.
Anonymous says
+1. Did you really not think about this when you invited people?
Anonymous says
+2. If you invite people to an event where food is served, you feed them. Of course I always wait to figure out whether food is provided for adults before I eat any, but it seems kind of inhospitable when only kids get to eat while the parents are trapped there too.
Anon says
I’ve always ordered enough pizza and snacks (or bagels and coffee, for a morning party) for adults to eat, but in my experience most adults have very little interest in eating cupcakes at kids birthday parties. Caveat that I run in non-fancy circles and the cupcakes are normally from Walmart or Costco and are basically just decorated sugar. I can see how it’s a different story if you were ordering fancy cupcakes from a trendy bakery. I have a much more intense sweet tooth than most adults and grocery store cupcakes are too sweet even more for me.
Anon says
lol you do not have a more intense sweet tooth than most adults then. Come on. A piece of Costco sheet cake is an age independent delight.
anon says
Don’t knock walmart and costco baked goods. Uncalled for. (Also, IDGAF if people are judging, I honestly love walmart cupcakes and have certainly eaten them at kid birthday parties.)
Anon says
I serve Walmart cupcakes at my kids parties! No judgment of people who serve those – it’s perfectly appropriate for a kid’s party. I just don’t think they’re something that widely appeals to adults.
Anon says
Wowza, 73 people is a ton!! No, I wouldn’t bring 70+ cupcakes. I would make sure you have one for every child though, including siblings. In my experience, adults rarely eat cake/cupcakes at kid parties or if they do it will just be finishing what their own kid doesn’t eat. We had 18 kids at my kid’s recent birthday party and we brought 24 cupcakes, not all of which got eaten.
Anon says
Nope, just kids. But I’d probably do 50% more cupcakes than the number of kids, because some kids may ask for seconds (not to start another flame war about that…).
Anonymous says
Based on previous threads, you need to budget like 3 pieces of pizza, 2 cupcakes and a piece of cake for each kid because you’re an almond mom if you assume kids eat a piece of pizza and a cupcake at a party.
Anon says
Lol ok. I don’t care how much food someone orders for their party and of course it’s bad manners to take seconds before everyone has been served, but it’s weird and restrictive to think only obese kids could eat more than one piece of pizza. I know many healthy, not overweight kids (including my own) who can easily put away 3 or 4 pieces of pizza.
Anon says
+1 to this – my 2 year old comes to mind.
I’m always surprised on this board of highly-educated and mid-to-high HHI families that people are so hesitant to over-order food and make sure everyone’s fed at parties. At most of the bday parties we go to we end up bringing home leftover pizza and some packed up cake for later…
Anonymous says
As an adult I don’t think I’ve ever eaten more than 3 pieces of pizza at one sitting. I can’t imagine elementary school aged kids eating 4 pieces of pizza plus cake and cupcakes without puking.
Anon says
I don’t think it’s about not about not wanting to bring food home. It’s fat-shaming and/or a self-centered world view where they think if their petite kid only wants one piece of pizza, then no kid who isn’t a giant fatty is possibly going to want to eat more than one piece of pizza. Nevermind that there is huge variation in height, metabolism and activity level among all people, including kids.
Anon says
3:56 proving my point. Just because *you* don’t do something doesn’t mean other people can’t. Your experiences are not universal. My 5 year old has definitely eaten 3-4 pieces of pizza plus a dessert at home without getting so much as a stomachache. Pizza is her favorite food and she’s a picky eater, that meal was probably 80% or more of her total calorie intake that day. Different. bodies. are. different.
Anon says
This is exclusively a HHI thing. Everyone else would be so ashamed if they didn’t have enough food for everyone. But a lot of the moms here like showing off that they would competitively never eat that kind of food.
Anonymous says
Yeah, I think it’s a class thing. I come from a working-class family and would be ashamed not to feed my guests. Rich folks are ashamed to serve/eat “unhealthy” food or to appear to waste food.
octagon says
I feel like this is a very area-specific thing. In my circle none of the parents ever eat anything at the parties (even when offered). But my sister pretty much gets a full sheet cake for any party because everyone wants some, some kids want seconds, etc.
Anon says
Are you sure all these parents are staying? How old are the kids? Drop offs start in preschool where I live. We had some parents of 3 year olds not stay at my kid’s recent party (my kid was turning 5).
Anon says
I’m a parent who loves cupcakes, and personally I’d try to have enough dessert in general for all the attendees to have some. I wouldn’t be offended or think you were terrible if there weren’t enough cupcakes, but if you are asking a general manners/hospitality question, the answer is yes.
Anon says
Wow different strokes different folks I guess! I’ve never been offered (or asked for) a cupcake/cake a kids birthday party. There’s usually snacks etc. for adults, extra pizza if pizza is ordered, but the cake/cupcake part is just for the kids. I’ve always gotten enough for the kids plus a few extra in case.
Anon says
This is my experience too. Pizza and drinks are for everyone; cake or cupcake is just for kids.
GCA says
Yes! to me, this isn’t about whether I personally would take a cupcake at a kid’s birthday party, and it isn’t about food waste. It’s about hospitality – you feed your guests, which may be one of my cultural norms and…apparently not universal to all cultures!…(If you happen to be at my house at dinnertime, you get fed, it’s how we show love.) In any case, what’s the downside? If you have cupcakes left over, you send each family home with a couple of extras and then you all get to have dessert and relive the birthday party joy for a few more days.
OP, I am 100% here for your 73-person party. If you invite the class, extended family, and neighbors, it’s not hard to get to 73.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1 to that! One of my BFFs just had a birthday party for her 3 year old that started at 10 AM. She had breakfast tacos, coffee, and fruit. Then, towards the end of the party (~Noon) there was pizza and cake. This is the norm in my circles.
(And yes, we took home an extra pizza – she ordered extra because, as she said “I know your boys love it and eat a lot” – this was not an insult.)
Anonymous says
This would be normal in our circle too. This whole discussion is wild to me. I’m in the DC suburbs, all of our friends earn 200k/yr or more. There’s always a ton of food at parties. But I did not grow up on this income level and there was always a ton of food at parties
Anonymous says
Not having enough food for everyone is one of the rudest things you can do, in my opinion. We were once at a wedding !!! Where there wasn’t enough food for anyone and 10yrs later we all still talk about it. Also, my 6yo can definitely eat 4 slices of pizza. She’d prob be too distracted to at a party. But she can. She is not overweight. Also, I eat at kids parties.
Anonymous says
Two of my BIL’s kids’ weddings didn’t have enough food! It was like, second kid, you didn’t learn anything from your older sibling’s wedding?
Anonymous says
4 slices of pizza is like 1200 calories per Google which is the entire recommended daily caloric intake for a 6 year old. I guess this is how the binge eating poster on the main page was raised.
Anon says
That’s not how eating disorders work you d*ckwad.
Anon says
OMG STOP. Get help for your issues, seriously.
But also your statement is factually inaccurate. An active 6 year old needs up to 2,000 calories/day, almost double the number you stated. What will give your child an eating disorder is restricting them to 1,200 calories per day which is at the bottom or below every range I saw online and likely only applies to children who are both petite and extremely inactive (and what 6 year old is “extremely inactive”?? Not any I’ve ever met…). Unless a child is overweight and you’re doing so under a doctor’s recommendation, you should NEVER be counting or restricting a child’s calories. That’s beyond f&cked up. I have no idea how many calories my kids consume. I know they are healthy and active and within normal BMI range and per their ped that’s what matters.