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I was vacuuming my car after a road trip, and there was probably a whole box of Cheerios in there.
Kids love their cereal, and sometimes that cereal needs to be served on the go. This cup includes two separate containers that screw together, an attached cold pack to keep milk fresh, and a clever built-in foldable spoon. You can even use it for yogurt and toppings like fruit, granola, or nuts.
This cereal cup is $12.49 for one or $18.99 for two at Amazon. It comes in blue and pink.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
buffybot says
I have what I think is a low-stakes parenting question for the crowd. Munchkin (4) started riding a bike with training wheels last fall. I love my child dearly and think (like many parents) that he is exceptional in many respects but trust me when I say, he is not a natural athlete. His coordination and speed is much like his mother’s — developmentally normal but definitely questionable.
He was getting the hang of the bike – riding it around the park, getting up some speed. Had the occasional spill but nothing too traumatic. He is also exceptionally tough (limited pain receptors?) and always wanted to get back on and try again. Then some time in December he had a bad ride – wanted to go too far, got tired, fell over a couple of times, walked some and then rode a little bit home.
Now he will occasionally want to try the bike but panics the moment the bike shifts balance at all, and says he is too scared to pedal. We’ve tried showing him that the training wheels will catch him and a little wobble is normal, but it clearly scares him. So…what would you do?
I’m not a bike rider – technically CAN but never enjoyed it, as I grew up some place it was impracticable to ride with any regularity. Would you work to find a way to get him “over the hump”, so to speak? How? He seems to WANT to ride the bike, but then freaks out. Or just let it go? Wait for peer pressure to take hold when over? (We’re in a city so it might never be a thing he does with friends). Do you care if your kid never learns to ride a bike? It’s not really a safety issue, like swimming. We’re not going to take any kind of hard line, but I wonder if just letting him give it up is the right answer, or if we could help him feel successful without pressure.
Anon says
Can you take the pedals (and training wheels) off and let him use it as a balance bike? Kids often start by essentially walking while straddling the seat, but soon develop their balance/sense of the bike and get to coasting. Kids can have a lot of fun and go fast on balance bikes! The shift to then riding with two wheels has been very easy after that.
Training wheels do seem really tippy and unpredictable in their wobbling, I sympathize with him!
Anonymous says
I was going to suggest the same thing but with a real balance bike. We took the pedals off a regular bike and it wasn’t quite the same.
Cb says
My son mastered a balance bike in 2 days over lockdown and has been grumpy about his pedal bike for the last year. He’s so so close but can’t quite manage on his own.
I wonder if you hold onto the bike and wobble it, so he gets used to that wobbly sensation again? Alternatively, bribe him with chocolate to keep trying. That’s my current strategy, my husband and the neighbour disapprove but it’s working.
After yesterday’s convo about school readiness, my school readiness priority is teaching him to ride his bike, as it’s faster than our current scoot.
Anonymous says
Cb, have you considered a tag-along bike? One of those half-bike trailer things that attaches to the back of an adult bike and allows the kid to pedal while the adult handles the balancing. He is the perfect age, and it’s a great stepping stone between a balance bike and a pedal bike.
Cb says
We just got one installed, but my husband did it wrong and it tipped him off! We’re just waiting on the mobile bike guy to get back to us to have a look at it. It would be a good in-between option as he’s getting a bit too heavy to go on the back of my bike in the Topeak.
Pogo says
Our 4yo loves the “trailercycle”: “Can we go on a trailercycle ride daddy?!”
When he gets picked up from school on the trailercycle he is a minor celebrity among the kids.
Spirograph says
Oh no! The trail-along was a big hit with my kids around age 4-5. It definitely can be tricky for the adult to maintain balance at first, though.
OP, I agree with others that a balance bike/removing the pedals might be a good intermediate step. Otherwise, wait for peer pressure to take over. My oldest *is* a natural athlete, but also very cautious. He tried and got frustrated in fits and starts for months with me and DH, but as soon as his friends showed up on their bikes, he buckled down and had it mastered in a half hour.
(He did not have a balance bike; my younger kids did and they took to a 2 wheel pedal bike instantly. I actually think training wheels may make it more difficult & scary since you can’t maneuver / overbalance on turns so easily.)
buffybot says
We’ve definitely tried the wobbling (with full explanation) but it mostly gets him to yell HEY! And get off the bike….
I am very sympathetic to him. I do not have great balance and don’t really trust my body to stay upright.
buffybot says
I have thought about the balance bike and may go that route — he had one at his grandparents that he never used and is now too tall for (he’s quite tall for his age), and I think the current bike is too high off the ground to work as such. So it would be trying to find a different balance bike he could use, I suppose.
Honestly I wouldn’t have put him on training wheels on this bike in the first place, but grandparents bought the bike without consultation….
Anonymous says
Is the pedal bike just too big? It’s easier and less scary for kids to learn on a bike that is on the smaller side.
Anonymous says
I bought a larger balance bike for my very tall kid. Brand was Bixe, on Amazon.
Pogo says
We try to involve the 4yo in our sports in a low key, no pressure way. If you try to force it they just push back. Offer to go on a family bike ride, or if you’re going to the park say “do you want to ride your bike or the scooter [or stroller or whatever]?”
Peer pressure helps too – we enrolled 4yo in ski lessons with his friend, and he rides bikes with his friends too. We also have brought him along since he was tiny in the carrier seat on the bike and then the trailer – but we’re big cyclists. Interesting that you say being in the city you don’t bike/see kids riding bikes? When we were in the city we biked everywhere because parking was so impractical.
Anonymous says
I noticed that among my kids’ friends, the ones who mastered a pedal bike earliest were the ones whose parents took them on family bike rides. The ones whose parents didn’t ride bikes learned later. The motivation to do what the grown-ups are doing is powerful.
buffybot says
Yeah that’s fair. Which is not going to be us – we have nowhere to put adult bikes and are not close enough to bike paths to contemplate family bike rides. I’m never going to be comfortable riding bikes on NYC streets – obviously lots of people do, but it doesn’t seem like a pleasant undertaking to me.
Anonymous says
Buffybot, I am here to tell you there is hope – give it time! My son, now almost 10, managed to fall off his bike WITH training wheels all the time. I didn’t even know this was possible, but he did it constantly and hated the bike and often refused to ride it. Maybe it was too small for him? I don’t think he even had a bike until he was 5; we were pretty scooter focused. He eventually got better at using the training wheels and allowed us to raise them a bit. We finally convinced him to try without them when he was maybe 7 (foggy memories). The moment he got it and rode by himself is seriously one of my happiest memories – he was just so, so proud of himself. I’ll never forget it. So if nothing else, just give it some time, and if he’s super cautious you probably need to go at his pace.
One thing we did when we were practicing without training wheels that might help – my son was very afraid of falling, so we practiced falling to show him that he could easily catch himself by putting his foot down. That gave him a bit more confidence. This may be harder to do with training wheels though. A balance bike also seems worth a shot; our son was basically too big for them by the time we started this process.
Anonymous says
PS – we are also in NYC and his late training age was not an issue socially
Mary Moo Cow says
My 6 year old has never liked a bike but loves her scooter. I was never very good on a bike, so I am sympathetic, but I want her to have some physical transportation for our neighborhood. The scooter fits the bill. I’m hoping peer pressure and the whole family getting bikes this year will pique her interest in bike riding, but I’m not going to stress. If bike riding isn’t big for your kid’s peer group, and if you don’t see your family riding bikes for fun or necessity, I wouldn’t stress. Learning how to ride a bike is a useful skill, but it doesn’t rank up there with swimming, for me, in terms of kids must learn to do this.
Anon says
What about Pedalheads? If there is a camp near you, I’d recommend it. They are kind and low key and honestly most kids improve substantially in their camps. Your son might benefit from someone other than you teaching him and having other kids around. I will note that my kid came back from camp super hungry. It also builds up their stamina, which could be good for longer rides too.
buffybot says
This is a great point! Lived it this weekend with the first time skiing, as well — he loooooooved his instructor and had a great time but the next day with parents did NOT go as well.
Anonymous says
There is definitely something to this. I joke, but it’s not really a joke, that my husband and I have to hire teenagers to teach our kid all the skills that we used to get paid to teach other people’s kids. My husband, a former member of an elite lifeguard corps, was particularly offended that she refused to let him teach her to swim.
Anonymous says
My 5yos sound very similar. They like using their pedal bikes as balance bikes to some extent, but have no interest in going fast enough to actually balance and when they’ve tried bikes with training wheels they also freak out. It took me a while to get over the feeling that this was a necessary kid milestone (especially when their cousin picked up a bike on his 4th birthday and was riding independently immediately), but they’re not currently missing out anything by not knowing how to ride.
DLC says
My oldest didn’t learn to ride a bike til she was almost six. What really did it for her was making friends next door who rode their bikes around our cul de sac and her wanting to join and keep up. So if it’s a struggle and makes everyone unhappy right now, I think you can absolutely give it a rest until motivation kicks in again.
Anonymous says
Just chiming in to say this was our now 8 year old – he was very uncomfortable on his training wheels bike, despite desperately wanting to be able to ride it. He was comfortable going slow, so we let him bike and walked next to him at a snails pace when we could. He never took to balance bikes – really only time helped. He wasn’t confident on his two wheeler until about 7, but now at 8.5, he loves his bike and racking up the kilometres on the mountain bike trails.
Pogo says
This seems like such a gimmick. Who brings milk with them in a container?
Anonymous says
I am skeptical of this product, but I pack milk in a thermos all the time either for drinking or to be poured on cereal.
Anon says
+1 milk in a thermos to work every day. And it was annoying to clean
Anonymous says
Yeah for us cereal on the go = dry cereal.
Anon says
My mother does. I have memories of eating bowls of cereal with milk in our minivan. It seems so unnecessary and weird in hindsight, we would have happily eaten other things. I think she just liked the challenge of proving that we could.
Anon says
I need some gift ideas for my 13 year old nephew’s birthday. We haven’t seen him in person in 2 years (thanks, Covid!).
He recently discovered (and loves) Harry Potter, so anything in that vein would be good. Other safe bets include anything that encourages creative world-building type activities, puzzle type video games, adventure books/graphic novels.
Anne-on says
If he likes Harry Potter he may also like the Percy Jackson novels, and Rick Riordan has a LOT of other mythology-centered novels – his new one Daughters of the Deep was a big hit with my Harry Potter obsessed kid. We’ve also loved the Spy School books (may be a bit too easy but fun) and the Chris Grabenstein series (Lemocello’s libary, Wonderland) as well as the Mysterious Benedict Society books.
What video game system does he have? Untitled Goose Game is very fun, and if he has a nintendo he might like the Labo kits (you build a headset and tool and then interact with it VR-style using the swtich controllers).
Anonymous says
All of those books are aimed more at ages 7 – 10.
If he’s into puzzle games, he might enjoy the Master Theorem puzzle book. For older kids who like Harry Potter, a fun gift is a t-shirt that looks like it’s actually from that world–a Hogwarts house t-shirt, a quidditch world cup shirt, a Nimbus 2000 t-shirt, etc. You can find a lot by searching the web.
AnonATL says
Maybe a bit fancy for a teenage boy but Pottery Barn has a Harry Potter collection. I got my niece some really cool snitch lights for her room for Christmas. They have key chains, room decor, and other Knick knacks.
There’s a ton of Harry Potter Lego too if he’s into that.
Anonymous says
Harry Potter Lego set.
AIMS says
+1 – some of these are very elaborate and fun! Also you can get all the Harry Potter candy, etc. I got one of my nieces a whole bunch of chocolate frogs and every flavor beans and she was super excited. If you’re in NYC, the Harry Potter store is amazing.
Anonymous says
I would check with the parents re: Legos though – my son used to love them and just stopped around age 8. It’s so hard to find the generic gift that will work as they get older.
We just got the game Throw Throw Burrito, and I think it would be a hit with young teens. It’s kind of dodgebally and very, very silly.
Anon says
following up on the above bike post. my twins received balance bikes for their 3rd birthday, which they have used approximately 3 times in almost a year (they love their scooters and are almost 4 now). apparently at school, they love peddling on the tricycles. they basically have zero interest in using their balance bikes. do we get them regular bikes with training wheels? show them some videos of other kids riding balance bikes? any other ideas? i don’t think my kids need to prepare for the tour de france or anything like that, but i do think that bike riding is a skill they should have
Anonymous says
As someone who skipped the balance bike and taught a kid to ride a bike with training wheels, I strongly recommend against the training wheels route. Encourage the balance bikes and then put them on real bikes with no training wheels.
Anon says
There are two main skills for riding a bike: pedaling and balance. My kids started on balance bikes and struggled to get the pedaling down a bit, but were fine within a day or two. I think balance is the much harder one to get, and training wheels don’t really help you learn to ride a bike (kids pedal slowly or sit still, and that doesn’t translate). Maybe your kids would have fun riding with training wheels, and if fun is the goal then go for it. Personally, I’d stick with the balance bikes…they are still kind of young and may take to them soon. My older son went from starting on the balance bike to full proficiency on a two-wheeler in 6-9 months
Anon says
i guess i don’t want them to have a negative association with bike riding, which they seem to have at the moment, but maybe we should persist with the balance bike
Anonymous says
We got them into their balance bikes by just alternating activities. Like Saturday is scooters and Sunday is bikes.
jz says
My son started on his balance bike 2 months ago at 2.5 and in the beginning it was a real struggle – he would walk with it and not really seated so not getting the benefit of the rolling, didn’t know how to turn (would need to literally pick it up to move directions) and got discouraged. so we took a break and then started him mostly on slight downhills so he got a taste of what the bike can do without much effort and now he goes everywhere with it. In short, i’d definitely encourage the balance bike. I learned how to ride a bike at 28 and that’s how i learned too (pedalless bike).
Anon says
If you start with scooters,bikes are an uphill battle. Another mom told me this long before I had kids and shd was right and I’m eternally grateful to her.
But definitely show them YouTube videos! That helped my kiddo at two. Make sure you teach them how to lean the bike to get on and off. And we had to get a different bike because our first one had posts where the pedals would be and tgat made it impossible to build up speed to balance.
Once she could balance a bit it took two weeks of riding to and from school before she was “good”. Same when we switched to a pedal bike. Two weeks to build up strength.
Good luck, it’s not easy to get them off scooters, but I believe in you!
Pogo says
I stick to my point above – the kids see us riding and bikes are a part of our life, so the 4yo was out on the trails at 22 months at a mountain bike festival. Even if you are no where near that level of cyclist, just making it something you do – for school pick up, to get to the park, to go get ice cream, etc makes it seem normal and something kiddo wants to do. Also peer pressure, I’ve never seen LO ride faster than chasing his big cousins.
AwayEmily says
My kids are 4 and 5 and both of them HATE the balance bike and have for years, despite seeing us bike regularly (I commute via bike and my husband does recreational biking), their friends use balance bikes, etc. I can’t bring myself to care that much (except for being annoyed that we spent money on it). They’ll learn to ride a bike eventually, and in the meantime they can run and scoot and walk. I learned in a day when I was around seven and was not emotionally scarred by my late biking start. Anyway, I grant you permission to just not worry about it if that’s helpful.
Anon says
+1 this is how I feel too. I learned how to ride a bike around 6 because I wanted to keep up with friends. I assume my kid will eventually learn. I’m not going to stress about it. She just turned 4 and loves her scooter, but has no interest in the bike with training wheels we just got. We’re not going to stress about it.
A lot of people here seem very concerned about kids getting late starts to sports. But a 7 year old is much stronger and more coordinated than a 4 year old that even if they pick up something years after other kids, they will learn faster and quickly get to a comparable skill level of other kids their age who’ve been doing it a lot longer. My daughter took to scootering very late but you would never know that now.
EDAnon says
My older one (5.5) always hated the balance bike. Loves training wheels and pedals. We are going to try to get him off training wheels this summer. My younger (3.5) loves the balance bike and all balance bikes, even when they’re way too small for him.
I love to ride a bike and want them to have that joy too, so I try to go with the flow. I learned from training wheels and it worked out fine.
Help! says
Guys, I have three kids so I should know this. Good first birthday gift for our niece? She has an older brother so they already have a lot of toys. Budget up to $100 but a really thoughtful $25 present works great too. All I really know about her is that she’s pretty easy going and loves to crawl around fast.
Anonymous says
For one-year-olds I love the Green Toys car carrier. They can play with the cars or the truck separately, or load and unload the cars from the carrier. The dump truck is great too. For a non-toy gift that will be useful this summer, a hooded beach towel from PB Kids.
Allie says
A jellycat stuffie and a few books?
EJF says
Our daughter received a little wooden bench personalized with her name as a first birthday gift, and we love it!
Anon says
do they already have a stroller and baby doll? that was a favorite of my twin girls once they learned to walk
Anon says
+1
A shopping cart is also popular. My 8 yo still plays with the one she got for her 1st birthday.
Anon says
+1 pottery barn makes an adorable shopping cart
anonM says
If she’s in daycare, I love the personalized nap mat. I’ve ordered a few of these from Etsy now, and DD’s has held up well. All-in-one pillow/blanket/mat that is machine washable. The kids love the “sleeping bag” and play in it all weekend, too.
Anonymous says
Some ideas:
-A walker/ riding toy like this one (https://www.amazon.com/Prince-Lionheart-Wheely-Bug-Ladybug/dp/B000GX0B3M?ref_=ast_sto_dp&th=1)
-New bath toys, because old ones get gross
-A coordinated stuffed animal + book gift (we recently got a really cute platypus and a book about platypus)
Realist says
Get niece whatever (a book? A card?) and gift a $100 “birth day” card to mom for something like new underwear.
Anon says
I would feel super weird about this, particularly if I wasn’t close to SIL. I know other people feel differently but I genuinely wanted to celebrate my kid on her first birthday (even though I knew she wasn’t aware), not myself, and I would have been embarrassed to receive a gift for myself.
Anon says
Toy shopping cart or stroller, or books
Anonymous says
My second got Lakeshore Learning Button Size-Sorting box at 1 and it’s been a bit hit. Other favorites are doll (M&D Mine to love are a good size for that age group and Duplos – particularly ones with people or animals).
Anonymous says
Baby Stella is great for this age group, too.
Anonymous says
Favorite WFH pants? I’m tired of jeans and I don’t like leggings. Should I try Marine Layer?
Anonymous says
Vuori joggers.
Anonymous says
Senita studio skin joggers!
Mary Moo Cow says
I like both Boden colored khakis and J. Crew Factory Ruby skinny cropped pants.
Anonymous says
Athleta Venice joggers – I live in them. So comfy, and the black ones are nice enough for casual outings.
GCA says
I am team Uniqlo ezy ankle pants (pull-on!) for life. They’re not the most stylish pants ever but they are comfortable, budget-friendly, and have pockets.
Anon says
DH got me a marine layer jogger set for Christmas and I really like it (washes and wears well) but Vuoris are probably still my favorite.
Anne-on says
I hated the Vuori joggers everyone else loves and just don’t love the look of joggers in general. I really like the ‘dance studio’ pants from Lulu – more of a straight leg but not super baggy. Also the pockets are really deep and hold a ton, which I appreciate.
Botox says
Frivolous question so maybe I should save it for tomorrow… how many on this board get botox (or the equivalent?) Emily Oster’s newsletter this week made me wonder about it, but it’s something I’ve been considering for a while. Mostly because I do not have the patience for an amazing skincare routine. And I’m pretty sure many of the mothers at my kids’ schools do it, so I also don’t want to look older than my age just because they look younger, if that makes sense.
What are your feelings on it? Any firsthand experiences and what made you decide to go for it? Or not?
Anonymous says
I am way too cheap for this
Spirograph says
This is where I land too. If someone gifted me a botox appointment, I’d show up for it, but I’m not going to invest my own time, energy and $$ to make it happen. This is also how I feel about covering my few-but-increasing grey hairs. I’m 38 and might change my mind in 10 years, but right now I’m OK looking my age.
Anonymous says
I am completely neutral toward botox as a concept, but I will never personally pay for it.
Anon says
I haven’t, and won’t (most likely – I mean, I reserve my right to change my mind about just about anything). But it’s never been something I’ve considered. I’m 42, and have forehead wrinkles (both horizontal and the 11s), and lines on either side of my mouth. Maybe they make me look older, but most people are surprised that I’m as old as I am (or they are good liars). I have a 16-month old and am gearing up for baby #2, so I choose to put my energy into growing my family rather than worrying about how old I look.
anonn botox says
I’m 38, kids are 1 and 5, I’m so ready to start a little Botox. I never cared that much before, but all of a sudden I just look old. I have the money, I don’t really buy anything extravagant (no luxury cars, bags). I feel like I’m starting to look angry/grouchy because of where the lines are settling. I know a lot of moms who do it. The only hesitation is my family, they aren’t really botox people and I might feel a little ashamed if like my MIL found out. (I love her, respect her and really value her opinion/perspective)
Anon says
I do it because my mom has very deep “eleven lines” (like lines between the eyebrows) that honeslty just make her look angry all the time/resting b*tch face. I want to avoid developing those. So I do a little just in that one area every four months. It’s expensive but honestly much less of a big deal than I thought it would be, it’s barely noticeable, I just look a little less tired I feel like. Truly soooo many people do it and you don’t know. there’s no need to talk about it. And it only lasts 3-4 months, so, you don’t like it, you can just stop. For me, I’d rather do it than blow a lot of money on ineffective skincare (I mean botox is still pricier than skincare but you catch my drift).
Anonymous says
My comment got axed but +1 to all this.
Anonymous says
I turned 36 and something just snapped in me. I started getting Dysport and I love it: I would (and do) choose it over coloring my hair and pedicures. I’m very lazy about skincare in general, but I’ve started wearing sunscreen pretty religiously and washing my face every night (hey I said I’m lazy). I think a lot more people get it than talk about it, but I also don’t care what everyone else is doing: I feel more confident with Dysport so I’m going to keep doing it.
Anonymous says
I won’t do it for two reasons. 1. Husband is too cheap and anti-beauty. 2. I play a wind instrument and the idea of paralyzing any muscles in my face terrifies me.
Boston Legal Eagle says
At this point in my career, I honestly wouldn’t mind looking a little older with wrinkles to give me some gravitas. That may change in the future but that’s how I feel now. Note that I do intend on dyeing my hair if/when I get more grays, but as of now, it’s fine. My mom has a plumper face so she looks young still, and the hair dye helps too.
anon says
I started about a year ago (I started noticing very faint forehead lines and 11s – I am a darker skinned POC, early 40s, who has worn high PPD sunscreen religiously since my early 20s, so I assume that helped delay the onset of lines) and am definitely a fan. I look more well rested and don’t have as much of an RBF as I used to. I go every four months and it seems to work fine. Part of my thinking was to start it preventatively (not like baby Botox, which I guess is for people in their 20s) but more that I wanted to do it now, before the lines started getting deeper/more set in my face. I also use retinoids every night, FWIW.
Anon says
I’ll probably try it and see if I like it. Will probably get all my leg hair lasered of first.
Anon says
I just started (34, two kids). I’ve only done it once so far and need to book again. It’s expensive and I was unsure if I’d keep it up, but I was pleasantly surprised at how much younger and more well-rested it made me look. Plus, it was nice to do something a little bit vain and frivolous and just for me after spending the last four years pregnant or nursing.
Anon says
I will probably get flamed for this, but if it were just me I’d probably have tried it by now. But my husband is extremely against it, so I haven’t. I don’t generally let my husband dictate what I do with my body (I will definitely be dyeing my hair when I start going gray, even though he’s not wild about that either), but currently I don’t want Botox badly enough to go against his very strong feelings. I’m more curious about it than anything else. It’s very possible my feelings will change at some point and I’ll do it. I’m 37 and don’t really see any wrinkles on my face, but totally possible they exist and I’m just not noticing them.
BeenThatGuy says
I’m 45 and have been using Dysport (a Botox alternative) for a decade (3-4 times a year). I started early because I was reading that once the lines are deep, they are harder to disappear. You can always try it once and then stop if you don’t like it or can’t keep up with the cost. One thing to note: the medical spa I go to often has discounts. You can pre-pay for your neurotoxin and receive a 15% discount. For me, that’s worth it.
Anon says
I’m 44 and get Botox on my 11’s every 4 months or so. It does help some. It’s about $350 a pop. I’m in a life stage where the cost isn’t a dealbreaker, but could give it up easily if financial circumstances were to suddenly change. I’m a very old mom and I don’t think the Botox hides it (I have a 2d grader and a 20 month old); I appreciate it for work since I’m now on video calls 6 hours a day and have to stare at my own face a lot.
anon says
I’m 39 and had it once. I liked it, but the difference was pretty minimal. I’m pregnant now, but will probably do it again in the next year or so.
EB says
I’m 35 and just got it done for the second time this week. I don’t know if I’ll do it forever, but I like the way it makes me look. I’d been thinking about it for a while, and a much younger colleague talked me into it. I was at the dermatologist for another reason, and asked some questions, and the NP said, “I can do it for you right now.” So I did. Just give it a shot! (LOL – pun not intended, but it’s staying!) It’s temporary, so if you don’t like the way it feels or something, you don’t have to do it again!
Abby says
Me! I am 42 and have been getting Botox since 35. I just got filler for the first time 2 weeks ago.
Anon says
Who has done Europe with young children? My dad has been wanting to take a trip to Germany with my family (including our children, who will be 2 and almost 5 this summer). My dad is in his early 70s and had a health scare recently, which is certainly making me feel like we should do this trip sooner rather than later. We vacation with my parents domestically, and they are helpful with the kids and understanding of their limitations and need for naps, early bedtime, etc. Travel with my parents has been great, but I am bit daunted by European travel with young children (time zone changes, logistics of getting around with young children).
Overall, I am worried if I wait too long, this trip with my dad won’t happen, and I think I would regret that. I know this view (and my sense of urgency) is shaped by the fact that my MIL passed away a few years ago after a short illness. Any advice for European travel with young children? Are we crazy to go when they are this young?
Anonymous says
Europe is so great with kids. Obviously don’t wait in lines for hours to see fine art they won’t appreciate, but the overall pace of life is very kid-friendly and there are lots of family-friendly options in terms of hotels, dining, etc. There’s an entire chain of family-themed hotels that I think is based in Germany (Kinderhotels). The thing I most appreciate about Europe is that things are FAMILY-friendly, not kid-friendly. You go to an amusement park, and there will be great wine served at lunch. That sort of thing. It makes you realize how much the vibe in the U.S. is KID-friendly, at the expense of any adult enjoyment.
Anonymous says
Fascinating. I find Germany pretty kid/family hostile (to visit, not to be a citizen of). The difference is so striking to me between visiting German and visiting Swedish family. I
Redux says
We went to Spain for 2 weeks with our 2 year old and 5 year old and it was awesome. My mother discouraged us from taking the trip, saying that the 2-years old’s nap schedule was too hard to work around, the early dinner and bedtimes weren’t compatible with Spanish culture, the children wouldn’t remember it… all of which was true, but we wanted to go and we had realistic expectations and had an amazing time! Ironically, my parents really regret never taking us to Europe, where they lived before we were born. We were always too little, or too busy with school activities, or too sulky teenagers, or too off in our own worlds. Now my parents are in their 70s and my dad can no longer travel so we will never have done it. It’s one of their biggest regrets. Go. 100% go.
Anonymous says
I’ve only done Europe with toddlers (under 2), but it was great. Key for us was making sure the other adults we traveled with understood the limitations, namely that every few days we needed to be back at the airbnb for naptime rather than napping on the go (but that they were free to keep touristing) and that dinner would usually also be at the airbnb so that they could go to bed early. We had a great time on both trips with lots of city walks, delicious lunches in restaurants, museums, tours of castles, boat rides, etc. It’s a slower pace with kids but also fun to watch them discover things.
Anon says
I have. We’ve been twice with a then toddler and are heading there next week with our preschooler. Would have gone even more but missed a couple years due to Covid. Kids do better with jet-lag than adults, generally. Don’t worry too much about that. Having to come back to the hotel to accommodate a kid’s nap (if your kids don’t nap in strollers, mine never did) isn’t the end of the world. You can still see plenty in the morning and late afternoon and a mid afternoon break from the year can be nice even for adults. Europeans love kids and are generally super welcoming. You can see museums, you’ll just need to plan carefully and buy skip the line tickets so you can get in and out quickly. And maybe bribe with ice cream/gelato.
I think a lot of it is managing expectations. It will be an amazing family experience, not a relaxing vacation. But I would definitely go and make these memories with your folks.
Anon says
*break from the heat
Anonymous says
Same here but it’s my MIL and Scotland. We are going for it, but with low expectations. We are going to rent a house or large condo with a yard or direct access to green space (playground etc). We are renting a car.
OP says
Thank you all for these thoughtful responses! I appreciate it!
Anonymous says
We’ve done Italy, Austria and southern Germany with kids since birth. Just need to find kid friendly accommodation and keep a slower pace. We don’t fully time zone shift so we generally go out for dinner and then put kids to bed at 10pm. Preference for smaller towns/coastal areas.
Tons of great playgrounds as well. We often picked a restaurant close to playground in a small town and let the kids play while we waited for our food. You can get french fries (pommes) and pasta with tomato sauce basically everywhere.
Anonymous says
Where’d you go in Austria? Considering a trip there this summer with a preschooler.
Anon4This says
As someone who lost my Dad in 2020 (and has been to Europe but not with kids) – GO. We took a big family trip abroad (pre-kids) in 2013 and we still talk about the memories with my Dad from that trip. Just go.
Hair product for toddler boy? says
My 18 month old son has very fine straight hair. We keep it trimmed quite short but it all just falls forward toward his face. It looks adorable when I wet it and comb it over, but it does not stay.
Hair product recommendation? Looking for something that will hold, but wash out easily. I think a lot of the mens styling pastes are too thick? My husband doesn’t use any styling products so he is of no help…
GCA says
What about clipping or tying it up? At that age I either put kiddo’s hair up with a largish snap clip or used teeny tiny elastics.
Anonymous says
I’d cut it super duper short, the classic baby haircut where it is meant to fall forward.
Anon says
I just bought the Paul Mitchell Taming Spray for this reason to try on my 21-month old, but haven’t had a chance to use it yet. His hair is too fine for a lot of the styling pastes/products out there.
Anon says
Just do a dab of gel. When it dries give it a tousle if it looks stiff.
Pogo says
I use a detangler (I think Suave kids? whatever looked good at Tarjay) and spritz, then brush it w/ a baby brush (not an adult brush or comb – hair is too fine). Similar to wetting the hair and brushing it, but a little more staying power.
Sleep sacks? says
Low stakes question – around what age do kids stop napping in sleep sacks at daycare? My kid loves hers and asks for it at naptime. She’s getting to the point where she’s growing out of this size, and I’m wondering if I should still buy an extra for daycare. She hasn’t figured out sleeping under a blanket, yet.
Anonymous says
Our day care didn’t allow sleep sacks after age 1. They wanted the kids to be able to walk out of the building if the fire alarm went off.
Anonymous says
That makes sense. They’re allowed in the young toddler rooms at ours because kids aren’t expected to be walking, yet. We have another 6 mos to a year in this room, though.
Anon says
Same. They also switch from cribs to mats on the floor at 1. My son still uses one at home but at daycare uses a small blanket. He still naps great there – not sure how they do it!
Anonymous says
Exhaustion from outdoor play + pavlovian conditioning.
Anon says
Our daycare never allowed sleep sacks, they said it was against licensing rules. Our kid never really napped well at school and I suspect that was a factor. She slept in sleep sacks at home until age 3. She’s giant so we had her in the Woolino kid size one when she decided she was done.
Anonymous says
My kids never had sleep sacks at daycare and stopped using them at home around 2.5 when we transitioned from cribs to toddler beds.
OP says
Wow, ok. Daycare has been weird about blankets, citing some kind of licensing rule, but they’ve been very much in favor of sleep sacks (harder for kids to get tangled in them, I guess?). I’ll chat with the teacher and see what she thinks, since she deals with getting kids into and out of sleep sacks more than we do at home.
EDAnon says
Our younger loved his sleep sack so we got one with foot holes. He wore it for a long time, so it was worth it. He didn’t use it at school though. He started using a blanket there at 1.
Anon says
if you have nothing kind or helpful to say please scroll past my post.
our family has been very covid cautious as we have two kids who are too young to be vaccinated. i have only been indoors unmasked over the past two years with grandparents who test before they visit us (they are not local) and one time this past summer with friends pre-delta when we thought vaccinated people couldn’t spread covid. society has obviously decided that covid is over and i am admittedly anxious about being indoors unmasked with people. i have been WFH for two years and will be going back in a few weeks and work in an environment where i sit in my small office only a few feet away from a different person every hour. idk if i should seek therapy or something, but any tips from those of you who have also been super cautious throughout. how are you doing these days? have you thought about how to move forward especially if there is no vaccine for the under 5 crowd?
Anonymous says
Can you require your clients/guests to wear masks in your office?
Anon says
I am the same as you. Covid is not over and it seems it will take many people 3-4 years to catch up to where things will inevitably be (masks, ventilation, better treatments and vaccines). We have only just begun, like not even 1% progress, to see and understand the impact of Long Covid. If risks are cumulative with recurring infection, we as a society are in for a world of literal and economic pain.
All that is to say, I would invest in a respirator for yourself, an attractive HEPA filter for your office, and disposable N95s to offer to guests. You are allowed to protect yourself even if it makes you the odd one out at the office.
I wish I could join others in the bliss of denial, but instead I have also been trying to figure out how to live through the next 3-4 years while society slowly catches on to the need of a new normal. 2019 is not coming back. Society is still on stage 1 on the grieving stages for that. We need to get a move on it and accept our new normal and adapt to it. Dropping masks and living life as normal while thousands die daily and hospitals cycle through being overwhelmed and our healthcare workers burn out is not a long-term strategy that is going to play out well. You see reality very clearly, it is the cognitive dissonance of how everyone else is behaving right now where therapy might be useful.
Anonymous says
I am pessimistic that society will ever catch on to masking during surges and ventilation. Ventilation is too expensive to happen, even though it was already desperately needed to protect against non-COVID illnesses. And people just don’t care enough to wear masks anymore.
Anonymous says
I think the new normal is going to be a constant state of crisis for hospitals and schools, never-ending supply chain disruptions, etc. There is zero political or commercial will either to establish realistic, adaptable guidelines for ramping up and easing precautions in response to surges, or to fix the underlying problems with hospital capacity, teacher salaries, facilities, supply chain resilience, etc.
Anon says
I agree this is our new normal for a long while (all the rage), but eventually it will reach a tipping point once enough elites and powerful people are impacted by the ongoing costs of endemic Covid. And they will be. They and their children will get Long Covid and be inconvenienced by supply chain disruptions and run into healthcare waiting lists and so forth, their money and power and privilege cannot insulate them 100%. We all share the air. I predict in 3-4 years they will finally be pushing for strategic masking and ventilation upgrades and such. By then, the costs of these measures will finally appear cheap as the ongoing costs of Covid accumulate and accumulate. But it is going to take a lot of pain and suffering and time to get there.
Anonymous says
I think democracy will be completely destroyed by that time.
Anonymous says
Anonymous @ 12:16: strangely enough though Covid doesn’t seem to a problem in Afghanistan and Ukraine – no masks, no social distancing and yet somehow that isn’t their problem.
I think it’s normal to have anxiety about all this but I think the possibility that some of the more doomsday predictions are some form of PTSD should maybe also be considered.
Anonymous says
Exactly. Democracy will be destroyed so masking and ventilation will be the least of anyone’s worries.
Anon says
I’ve seen tons of recent photos from Ukraine with people wearing masks. I get that they have bigger problems than Covid right now, but I don’t think your assumption that they’ve abandoned all Covid precautions is accurate.
Anonymous says
I don’t think what’s left of their government is installing ventilation systems in schools or enforcing mask mandates right now.
OP says
how do you plan on handling this with your kids? I plan on having them still wear masks at school, but we are also at a point where they will miss out on a lot socially if they don’t do anything inside. i am scared of long covid. we are fortunate not to have any underlying health conditions, but my family seems to have bad luck in these scenarios. we haven’t gotten covid yet, but as things open up i am scared.
Anonymous says
I hear you on the bad luck. My husband, our child, and I are just not lucky people. We all lost the genetic lottery in a bunch of ways. Disaster follows us around. We are the embodiment of Murphy’s Law. We could be an illustration of the probability of repeated rare events in a statistics textbook. We have put in place a million contingency plans and all kinds of insurance and fire extinguishers everywhere and an ample emergency fund and all of that stuff because we constantly have to depend on these things when something goes wrong. We are only able to live a reasonably happy, healthy life because we are constantly and aggressively managing risk and mopping up after adverse events. If our family were to get COVID, at least one of us would be bound to end up with a disabling case of long COVID. I just don’t want that.
OP says
so how are you handling covid at this point in terms of your kid re socializing, experiences, travel, etc.?
Anonymous says
Kid is of course vaccinated, for all the good that does. We wear well-fitting N95-equivalent masks in public at all times and don’t dine indoors. We paused in-person extracurriculars and shopping, along with indoor gatherings with family and friends, during the height of the Omicron surge and will do so again next time things get bad. No travel yet; we are planning a driving vacation to stay in a hotel and dine outdoors. No public transit, trains, or airplanes yet. We have signed kid up for a sleepaway camp that requires vaccines, but will cancel that in the event of a surge. I worry most about camp and school.
I am hoping that within the next year or so Paxlovid will become generally available, which will make us a little more willing to risk infection.
Anonymous says
Isn’t the main achievement of Paxlovid keeping people out of the hospital and morgue? It seems like a great thing for the elderly or immunocompromised who might die despite vaccination, but I’m not sure how it’s going to prevent long Covid or silent brain damage from an asymptomatic Covid infection in a healthy vaccinated child or young adult. I’m also wary of side effects, given how serious the Tamiflu side effects can be. My ped won’t even prescribe Tamiflu except to the most high risk kids because the side effects are so significant.
Redux says
OP, why do say your family seems to have bad luck in these scenarios? What specifically are you thinking of? Given that you have no underlying health conditions and you haven’t had COVID yet, I’d say you have pretty good luck?
Anonymous says
I would argue that it’s mostly caution and not luck that has saved them from COVID thus far.
Redux says
Oh sure, just curious what she thinks is a comparable scenario in which she has bad luck.
Anon says
Yeah my family has been super locked down for two years (we’ve done literally nothing indoors except school for our kid, with masks for all, and some airplane travel, with masks for all) and I find it kind of irritating when people say we’ve been lucky to have not gotten Covid. There’s an element of luck (I do know people whose kids got it at school despite masks) but mostly it’s choices we made.
Anonymous says
Not OP, but also not lucky. Some examples: Since we’ve been married, my husband has had five ambulance rides and three other ER visits for things that just should not have happened. After careful research we bought two cars that turned out to be lemons. Our house is a money pit in which everything that could possibly fail has failed. Every member of our family has multiple stupid weird chronic health conditions. Our kid managed to sprain an ankle while standing still. I was rear-ended twice within six months. At least 50% of flights we book end up delayed or cancelled. I could go on…
Anon says
We are going to continue homeschooling indefinitely and plan to really make the most of the summers for socialization, assuming seasonal patterns of infections hold. I’ve already gone party time at work and will likely quit entirely soon. Everything, everything sucks. But I’ve suffered from long something virus (not Covid) for 5 years, which has greatly impacted my quality of life. Compared to Long Covid, I got off light. I can do 60-80% of what I could do before I got sick, depending on the day. I do not want to lose even more of my capacity to enjoy life by adding Long Covid to the health issues I already deal with. And I will not cavalierly experiment on my children to “wait and see” what the long term impacts of repeated Covid infection might be on them, especially given the early data that we have now on the virus’s ravages on multiple body systems.
Postviral illness can run in families and cluster environmentally for unknown reasons, so I wouldn’t discount your intuition on whether you might be particularly vulnerable.
Anonymous says
My sense is that people who have actually experienced long-term illnesses are much less cavalier about COVID than others. I have spent several periods of 1-2 years sick for various reasons, and it really destroys your quality of life. I assume that because I have been vulnerable to these types of things in the past, I and my kids are more vulnerable to long COVID. I would much rather be healthy and enjoy my life while wearing a mask and forgoing some activities. I don’t think a vacation or restaurant meal or holiday gathering is worth a lifetime of suffering from long COVID. And like you, I worry about the as-yet-unknown aftereffects of COVID even in the absence of long COVID, especially on the brain.
AIMS says
Honestly, I think there is no substitute for just doing it. I wouldn’t say that I have been as cautious as you but I’ve probably been more cautious than at least half the people around me in NYC. We recently took our first flight to FL since this whole thing started (4 and 6 y.o.) and virtually no one in FL wore a mask and I was surprised by how comfortable I felt pretty quickly. Now that we’re back, I’m still wearing a mask when on the subway or in a crowded store, but I’m ready to be more social too.
I’ll add that when I first had to go back to work, it was also an adjustment. I went out of my way to avoid the subway (doubling my commute time), changed my clothes immediately when I came home, brought lunch with me, washed my hands a million times, but that also normalized as I saw that nothing fatal happened to me from taking the train when I was late or getting a sandwich from the to-go place, etc. And same with school – very nervous when I sent my kids back but quickly thrilled at the fact that they were able to be there.
Anonymous says
I agree that you just have to take the plunge and get acclimated. I am extremely COVID-cautious. I stopped going out at all during the omicron surge and really freaked out the first time I entered a crowded space with unmasked people as the surge died down. It didn’t help that I’d been expecting them all to be masked. Now I am pretty comfortable around unmasked people with my high-quality, well-fitted mask. I still won’t take off my own mask, though. I also wear glasses for eye protection.
I am permanently WFH now, but for the few in-office days I had last summer I felt more comfortable with the windows open or a HEPA filter running.
Boston Legal Eagle says
This is me too, particularly with going back to work. I take the train in (everyone required to be masked up) and I’ve gotten used to it. My office is still pretty empty but everyone will be coming back in soon, no masks required, on a hybrid schedule at least. It’s jarring at first but I think we’ll get used to it. I don’t have any health conditions but do have two small kids, one of whom is too young for vaccines. I’d rather he be vaccinated but I’m ok with the risk that he catches Covid, just like he can (and has!) caught other respiratory illnesses at daycare. If cases increase again, we may go back to mask requirements inside.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
This is where I land. I’m in a blue city/red state, and while the numbers are nowhere near where they should be, they are trending downwards for now, and I don’t think going back to 2020 is an option for most people (not that OP was saying that).
I agree to do the thing. “Moving on and living our lives” is actually important, but now that also means masking up, hand hygiene, avoiding crowds when possible, and getting vaxxed/boosted when eligible. The COVID-19 risk calculus of 2020, in most cases, is just not the same now than it was before. I’m boosted and had Omnicron a few weeks back – have 0 idea if it was from kids school, my sibling, or what. I happily enjoyed an indoor dinner with my 2 (vaxxed, boosted) friends last night at an uncrowded restaurant. Neither of my kids are old enough to be vaxxed, and it sucks, for our family, we have entered “Does anything even matter anymore” and have really realized the ramifications of ~2 years of a very minimal social life for all of us (and I’m an introvert!).
Spirograph says
Therapy might be a good idea.
I’m not as covid cautious as you, and most of the US is not (anymore, for now), either. Having a safe place to sort through your anxious feelings/frustration about that so that they don’t impact you at work might be constructive. My company has recently returned-to-office and while 90% of people are moving forward fine, some people have made waves with unprofessional reactions and comments. I’m not saying they’re wrong to feel the way they do, but the way they’re handling it is impacting their reputation and employability in some cases.
FWIW, despite our local mask mandate expiring and masks therefore being optional in the office, many people are still wearing KN95s, and they’re still available for all at the reception desk. Leadership supports individual choice on masking, and everyone’s being respectful. I agree with the anon at 11:35 who suggested having disposable masks to offer to the people who come into your office and investing in an air filter. I am not choosing to wear a mask at work as a matter of course, but keep one with me so I can honor anyone’s preference for me to wear a mask while interacting with them.
Anonymous says
The vast majority of people who choose not to wear a mask are not carrying around masks and offering to wear them if it makes others more comfortable, though.
Spirograph says
I’m not sure where you or OP are located, but it’s very normal where I live (MoCo, MD just outside of DC).
Anonymous says
Light blue neighborhood, bright red county, purple state. Masks are a tribal issue. You either wear one or you don’t.
Anon says
Eh, I’m in a purple city in a very red state and have been surprised by how many people will put on a mask for one-on-one interactions if asked. If you think they won’t have their own, you can have extras in your office. Maybe it was true that masks were a “tribal issue” six months ago, but at this point there are many vaccinated, liberal adults not wearing one generally who’d happily put one on if someone asked, but even people I would describe as “anti-maskers” have put them on after a specific request. I’m sure some psychologist could weigh in and expound on this further, but I think a personal request from someone who know is very different than a message from the government that we need to wear them to protect others, generally.
Anonymous says
Are you actually saying that wanting to wear a mask and have other people wear them makes someone unemployable? What about the other way–if someone refuses to mask around others who are more cautious or demands that others remove their masks, does that also make them unemployable?
Spirograph says
No. Please reread my comment, I said nothing like that. Masking in office follows the local mandates; once those are gone the company does not impose its own mask requirement, but no one is ever required to go mask-less. There’s also still wide latitude for people to take meetings over zoom if they’re uncomfortable in a conference room. Basically, leadership is standing firm that offices need to be open, but recognizes that people need to ease into this, and comfort levels are going to vary a lot for the foreseeable future.
I’m thinking of people who threw a fit about the offices reopening after extended WFH, and very forcefully expressed their disagreement in settings/in front of an audience where it was not appropriate. Their reputation is impacted because of their inability to conduct themselves in a professional manner, not because of their opinions. That’s why I suggested that if OP is really anxious, it would be better to work through those feelings in therapy so they don’t impact her conduct at work. (Not relevant to OP’s question, but my company also has a vaccine mandate for return-to-office that does directly affect employability.)
Anonymous says
I am inclined to cut the people who loudly protest against office reopenings quite a bit of slack. We have a few staff who are very COVID-cautious and felt personally attacked by some of management’s pronouncements along the way. To these people at certain points during the pandemic, an announcement that the office was reopening literally sounded like a death sentence. They are otherwise very professional and competent and polished in their dealings with management and clients. Management was absolutely tone-deaf in its decisions and timing and ended up having to back off every time it tried to force a return to the office.
To be clear, I am not one of those people. Given a choice, I would have been in the office from the time I was vaccinated until the Delta surge began and again for a brief period in the fall between Delta and omicron, and would currently be considering going back within the next few weeks.
Anon says
I think you just do it and wear an N95 mask. We know they are effective at preventing Covid and realistically it’s the best solution – something you can control and N95 masks are finally widely available.
Anon says
My best advice is to take baby steps. Going from complete WFH to 100% in office is going to be a rough adjustment on many fronts. If you can at all ease the transition by going in a few days a week (even early on a voluntarily basis), it will help with the “flight” response you may have to encountering other people. Things that make me more comfortable at work (caveat I have a private office) that has recently dropped its mask rules. I wear a mask when in large group meetings (I don’t wear a mask on something like a solo trip to the printer or bathroom or coffee machine) or having a one on one conversation where we are decently spaced apart. I have a blueair purifier running in my office and I keep my office door closed most of the time (it’s clear glass, so it’s not like I’m super isolated). I have a committee meeting this afternoon with a community organization we work with and I expect I will probably be the only one in a mask there and that’s OK. I have an under 5 and myself am immunosuppressed. That being said, I’m more worried about getting in a car wreck on the way to work and dying than I am from COVID (people have apparently forgotten how to drive in the last two years). And so it is constantly reminding myself that I take risks every day in an effort to live the life I want to live, and this is *just* another risk (not THE risk, if that makes sense).
Anonymous says
I am with you. I would wear an N95 or equivalent, invest in an air filter, and provide disposable masks for visitors as others have suggested. Just be prepared for judgmental reactions. I took my mask off for a few minutes to serve as a reader in church last night, and one of the old ladies came up to me afterwards and told me in a saccharine voice how lovely it was to finally see my face again. People are terrible.
anon says
I’m also super cautious, in an area where people have been super cautious, but the indoor mask mandate just went away. If I had to go back to an office right now I’d wear an N95 and bring an air purifier that I kept running all day. If opening a window was possible, I’d do that too.
Depending on the dynamics, I might get a box of masks and ask visitors to mask up because I have vulnerable people at home (without going into the specifics as to age/condition). Personally, I’m very happy to follow the lead of the most cautious person, though I don’t know how common this is.
In stores where not everyone is masked, I try to remind myself of the protections I have: vaccinated + boosted, N95, ventilation (stores tend to prop their doors open here), very high local vaccination rates, and local case rates that aren’t very high and are falling.
Anon says
Gift advice, please! What are your favorite hostess gift ideas for a party at a classmate’s house. The invite indicated no gifts for the kiddo. I might normally skip the host gift, but have become pretty friendly with the family. Showing up empty handed does not feel right.
Anonymous says
You don’t bring a hostess gift for a kids’ party. If it’s a birthday party, you bring a birthday gift unless the parents have asked for no gifts. If the parents have requested no gifts, you bring a nice birthday card with a handwritten message from your child.
AwayEmily says
+1. We sometimes also put a sheet of stickers inside the card.
NYCer says
+2. I would honestly find it strange if a parent showed up to my child’s birthday party with a gift for ME!
Anon says
If this is a birthday party for a child and the invite said no gifts, please don’t bring a hostess gift. They said no gifts, they meant no gifts. If you feel you can’t show up empty-handed (you can, I promise) you have your kid make a card for the birthday kid.
Anon says
Yeah I think it would be weird to have people bring a hostess gift.
In our area everyone always says no gifts and people always bring something. Generally a handmade card from kid and maybe a book. Something along those lines. I’d do that if you don’t want to be empty handed.
Anon says
This may be area dependent. We had a recent no gifts party and no one brought any gifts. About half the people brought cards. I feel like it’s rude to bring a gift, even a book, because it puts the people who actually respected the hosts “no gifts” request in an awkward position. I would never bring anything more than a card to a party where someone had requested no gifts.
anon says
Yes, this.
Mary Moo Cow says
My area, too! Last time we went to a no gifts party, we were the only ones who didn’t bring a gift: I know because we were right on time, so I watched everyone else show up with a gift. Why can’t we all agree on the rules?!
Anonymous says
This is why I gave up on no-gifts parties after trying it once. Most people brought a gift anyway and it all felt weird. After that we started quietly donating the gifts.
Anonymous says
Homemade card, with stickers or a balloon if you are feeling extra. That’s it.
Anonymous says
Cross-posting from the other page: If you have a school-aged child with autism and they are in public school with an IEP, are there any services that your kid receives at school that you feel are helpful?
My child got diagnosed very late, after years of passing all autism screenings. There are gross motor delays, social delays, some speech issues, and some emotional regulation issues stemming from bullying. None of these are strictly academic, so they school doesn’t see them as needed, even though they affect learning and participation. I am really not sure what I should be doing b/c we arrived here suddenly and very late and with no instruction manual. [Maybe this school isn’t the right one, but IDK what the right one looks like in our case.] Kiddo is ASD-1, but COVID made it hard to see what ASD-1/2 split would look like when you are socializing with no one but your parents (and school this year but not last year, since it was virtual). I know that the difference b/w all levels is the level of “support,” but my kid is fine with eating, toileting, etc., so is seen as not needing anything b/c so many other kids need so much more.
HELP!!!