Now that it’s mid-October, let’s bring on the cashmere! This classic turtleneck from cashmere expert Naadam will become an MVP in your cold weather wardrobe.
This 100% Mongolian cashmere turtleneck fits just right — not too tight and not too loose. It’s perfect for layering or wearing on its own. The ribbed neck, hem, and cuffs add detail as well as practical stretch. Fashion this for work with a suit or the weekend with jeans.
Naadam’s Cashmere Classic Turtleneck is $195 and available in sizes XXS–3X. It comes in moss green (looks like a soft, greenish gray), black, or smoke (looks more charcoal).
Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear.
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Sales of Note…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
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Kid/Family Sales
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- buybuyBaby – Spring sale: Up to 40% off
AIMS says
I have multiple versions of this kind of sweater and it truly is a staple!
Cb says
Oh it is lovely! I am down to 4 slightly shabby sweaters, 2 in each city so need to put some things on a Christmas list.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I love this sweater but I’m meh on Nadaam. I got a sweater from there as a requested gift years ago and was meh on their customer service and the sweater is a bit itchy for cashmere.
AIMS says
Good to know. All of mine are older versions from non-too-fancy places like Ann Taylor and Jcrew before their quality (and the quality of cash,ere sweaters generally) became super hit or miss. Over 10-15 years old and still not pilling but would be nice to find others options of similar quality.
Mary Moo Cow says
I had the same experience, so I bought a Lands End cashmere turtleneck sweater last year. Finally, the weight and opacity I was looking for. It seems to be holding up well and LE almost always has coupons.
anon says
I’ve been shopping a lot at Lands End lately, and I love wearing their clothes, even though many of them are just basic staples that wouldn’t wow many people with a true fashion sense. The soft texture and quality of the fabric is on point.
Anonymous says
I stopped into the Nadaam store the other day and was really underwhelmed by the quality. Didn’t try anything on. Disappointing because I love the idea!
Anonymous says
I’m not familiar with Nadaam, but I have a stupid question: How do you keep your cashmere from pilling? Or do you just shave it and call it good?
AIMS says
So the older cashmere I have barely pills. The new stuff pills a lot and I shave it. But I’m forever trying to get the stuff that just won’t.
ElisaR says
has anybody tried one quince? they seem to be targeting me on social media and i’m tempted to check them out….
Anon says
I bought a pair of heavyweight cotton joggers and I’m wearing them now! Quality seems good.
Anonymous says
Yes, I have a silk T, silk dress, and a robe. I’m 5’4″ and wear a 0 in most brands and everything else I tried on from them has been way too big. I love the robe and it shipped from Turkey. The washable silk is great but it’s the same thin cheap feeling silk that all washable silk seems to be. I would definitely buy the same items again and would have liked some of their linen stuff this summer if it wasn’t awkwardly too big on me.
Vicky Austin says
My sister has a Mongolian cashmere sweater from there which she loves and rocks, and I have two of their silk sleeveless tops. Size up for those tops though; they felt short on me even prepregnancy.
Anon says
We got a sensitive cat 7 years ago and were told at that time that she should be in a single-cat household (which she is) and ideally a child-free household as well. That was no problem at the time and she’s had 7 wonderful years with us (she loves us – just not other humans or cats), but now we’re TTC. Has anyone ever had the experience of helping a sensitive, shy cat adapt to a baby? We’re in a small rental townhouse (1000 square feet) and there isn’t enough room for us to set up any kind of baby-free zone, although we could do it on a smaller scale with closets, etc. I could never rehome her and I want to come up with a plan so this can work. I hope we can…all advice welcome.
AIMS says
I think your best bet is to give her lots of high perches to get away to. There are cat shelves and stuff that you can put up that will give her places to be that are out of reach for baby. Many cats will be content to be left alone that way, even sensitive ones.
Also maybe your child will be relatively disinterested, which will help. My kids really weren’t too aware we had a dog until very recently and they are 4 and 6. Even now, they keep asking for a fish. You never know!
Cat person says
Yes – high places! Also consider where you feed the cat. We had to move our cats food to a side table while our daughter was younger. It’s back on the floor now.
My cat is pretty friendly by nature with most adults – but she avoided my daughter for the first 3 years. Kid is now 5 and she and the cat get along well- cat will seek out kid for head pats. It helps that kid loves giving out kitty treats.
anon says
She’ll be faster than the baby for a long time. The cat can just stay away from the baby. By the time the kid is big enough to catch her, you can teach the kid to leave her alone.
I’d make sure she has quiet places to sleep that she prefers that are out of reach of a baby/toddler/preschooler.
Anon says
+1. I’m allergic to cats but we adopted a dog who had to go into a child free home 3 years before we had our daughter. It’s been fine. They mostly ignore each other. There were some tense moments around age 1 when our kid was crawling fast and wanting to pull the dog’s tail, but we just kept them separated and now kid knows better.
Abby says
Can you elaborate on how you introduced the dog to baby, and what steps you took to keep them separated? I’m due in April, but also have a dog that is similar
AIMS says
I would talk to a trainer about your specific dog. But for our dog that generally likes kids, the only thing we did was we got a swaddle from the hospital that baby had been wrapped in and Mr. AIMS brought it home to give to the dog to smell – I think he put it in the dog’s area – before we came home with baby (he didn’t sleep in the hospital as we live nearby). And then we let the dog sniff the baby when she came home. There really wasn’t much more to it. Dog was initially confused and slightly annoyed by all the middle of the night wake ups (we all slept in one room) and then quickly learned to sleep thru it all. Baby didn’t realize dog was even alive until she was maybe 4 months old and then wasn’t too interested in him until she was much older. They’re besties now.
But we have friends who had to rehome their dog (it went to family, so kind of worked out) because the dog had some touch issues and it’s hard to teach a toddler how to touch a dog in just a certain way and the dog eventually bit the kid (luckily not hard). In retrospect, friends say they should have worked on this more with the dog and a trainer.
Anon says
I honestly don’t really remember! When the baby was essentially immobile (first 12 months or so), I don’t think we did much except not leave them unattended in the same room. When the baby started speed crawling, there was a lot of taking the dog to a different room, pulling the baby away from the dog, telling her not to grab the dog (a 12 month old doesn’t get it when you say “don’t grab the dog” obviously, but over the course of about a year and repeatedly being pulled back, it started to click). I know we all slept in the same room for the first six months and that was fine. Neither of them ever woke the other up to my knowledge.
I know I’ll get flamed for this but contrary to some others on this thread I absolutely didn’t feel the same love for my dog once I had my kid, and if it had been up to me we would have rehomed her (by that I mean, doing the work to find her another loving home, not just abandoning her at a shelter). But my husband vetoed that and I lived in lowkey constant fear for the first couple of years that the dog would bite my kid. But fortunately nothing happened.
Vicky Austin says
As another person with a big unpredictable dog (mine is just a rambunctious Lab we haven’t trained as well as we should have), I really appreciate reading about your experiences with this!
anon says
Our shy sensitive cat barfed every day for a year after I had a baby. She had never barfed before. Then it tapered to every other day and then stopped pretty soon after the first birthday. It was definitely stress.
She avoided the kid for years and only in the last year or two (kid is 6) does she not run immediately when kid is near. She tolerates the kid now, but I don’t think they’ll ever be close. The cat is eager to cuddle with us immediately when the kid goes to bed.
Anonymous says
This is similar to our experience (with less barf). Our cat started over-grooming after we had our baby, and she would always leave the room whenever we brought the baby in, and was eager for snuggles when we were alone. Now that our kid is 3, the cat tolerates being in the same room and has stopped overgrooming, but she still shies away from our kid when he comes near (which he usually does not). They’ll probably never be buddies, but she doesn’t seem too stressed out anymore.
Spirograph says
Oh no, bless you for keeping the cat in spite of all the barf, and I’m glad it resolved eventually! We inherited my sensitive cat from my mom because the cat started peeing on my mom’s pillow after my mom’s partner moved in. She also went on a hunger strike and refused to get off our bed for a week when we took in another cat for someone who was overseas temporarily. Cats are very opinionated creatures
Anon says
So first off, she won’t have any problem with the baby. Baby is immobile and slow and not paying attention to her for a long time. She may have problems with a toddler, but by then you will have all had a long time to adjust. I like the idea of high up perches for her! I think you can do this for sure.
Sidenote: i was worried about adjusting with our dog to a new baby and got a trainer to come for an afternoon. it ended up being like a couples therapy session for us and the dog. DH still jokes about how expensive that was, but we do love our dog.
anon says
Our super easy going cat peed in our newborn’s bucket seat on her first night home. We’d left it sitting by the front door. It was quite the welcome.
The cat and baby ended up being super close with our preschooler even dressing him and pushing him around in a stroller.
TheElms says
A tricky thing to navigate can be sleeping spaces. Pre-baby, our cat slept with us in our bedroom. Once we had our first kid, I had the baby in a bassinet in the room with us for the first 4 months. It ended up being ok because our cat was not at all interested in the baby or the bassinet (so I didn’t think jumping in the bassinet was a strong concern) and our cat didn’t mind the crying too much and was content to sleep by my feet while I was nursing in the middle of the night and didn’t try to get pets. But I’ve had friends where the cat wanted to cuddle the baby (not safe for sleeping), or wanted to bite/swat the crying baby, so they had to close the cat out of the bedroom or move the baby to their own room. So you might want to think through those scenarios. There are solutions but what will work best for your cat is probably something only you will know as well as your comfort level having the baby sleep in another room.
anon says
The good news is that a baby is running, walking, or being generally destructive right away (hahaha), so the kitty will have time to acclimate to having a new family member. I had a similarly sensitive cat who had been with us 6 years prior to having kids, and for the most part, it was a non-issue. Give kitty hiding spots, perches, play tunnels, etc. One of our cat’s favorite hiding spots was under the crib, go figure.
Also, I think some cats mellow out over time and what would’ve been an issue as a youngster 7 years ago may not be as present anymore, particularly since kitty is already bonded to you.
anon says
Seconding the comments about high perches and teaching your toddlers that cats are not for chasing.
I also wanted to add my shyer cat went through phases with my kids. She was fine with them when they were babies and immobile, avoided them during the toddler years, and now at 5 when they’ve learned how to be gentle, she’s happy to let them pet her (and even tolerates one of my kids picking her up and carrying her around).
EDAnon says
Thai is true for us too. Our cat was 9 when our first was born. She’s 15 now. She basically hid (mostly in closets) when the first was little and reappeared when they were able to walk well (she wa very scared of toddling kids).
We did get her high perches when we got a dog but she wasn’t super interested. Instead she became an indoor/outdoor cat. She hisses at the dog sometime but is way more a part of the family then she was before.
She definitely comes out more when the kids are in bed and the dog is asleep, but she’s always been a night owl and she was my husbands first so has always had a preference for him. So none of it is super out of character.
Anne-on says
+1 to giving the cat baby-free spaces and teaching the baby to be gentle with the cat. You may also be pleasantly surprised, my then 6yr old cat did NOT like the baby (crying is not fun for sensitive ears) but was incredibly patient when he was crawling/walking and seemed to understand that he was a baby and still learning. We also never let the baby be alone with the cat or try to grab/pick up the cat without supervision.
Also a heads up in case it freaks you/your husband out – our cat LOVED the bassinet – high, warm, enclosed and slept in there often before the baby was born but never ever tried to jump in the crib/swing/bassinet once the baby was born.
Anon says
Thank you all! I’m glad I posted – I feel a bit more optimistic than I did. I know it won’t be easy (our cat will literally hide for 7-10 days when the petsitter comes in to give her food when we’re on vacation…), but I’m very committed to getting more perches and quiet spaces. She does sleep in our room (not in our bed) and gets upset if she gets locked out, but if there’s a bassinet in there, maybe she won’t want to stay anyway. I just want her to be happy and secure the way she has been – we love her SO much.
AwayEmily says
You are a very good cat owner and I bet things are going to go great. FWIW people said we’d love our cat less when the baby came but honestly the cat was often a soft lovely reprieve from the baby and a real comfort. She died about three years ago and I still miss her every day.
Spirograph says
+1 to all this. We had a sensitive “only-cat” type cat when our oldest was born. She was curious about him, then generally steered clear and stuck to her safe spaces, but it was nothing like the way she reacted to other animals. Sadly, she died before my son got to a more mobile, handsy stage so I can’t speculate too much on toddler interaction.
We have two different cats now, one of whom is a little more skittish and doesn’t enjoy our kids’ company, but she’s always tolerated them or stayed out of the way very well. The kids treat our other cat like a stuffed animal and he apparently doesn’t mind. He’s the most snuggly, tolerant, cat I’ve ever seen. I second Anne-on’s point about the bassinet: our snuggly cat loved the bassinet and DID jump in there with the babies sometimes (he has always liked sleeping with his people). Something to keep an eye out for as it could be a safety issue.
anon says
I had the barfing cat above and we didn’t love her any less once we had a baby. The baby was hard, and I was grateful for simple snuggles from the cat.
An.On. says
I have a cat who’s not shy but people tend to freak her out, and she’s been pretty good with the baby. The baby crying would make her really REALLY upset, in a “why aren’t you fixing this?!” kind of way. She would go smack the dog if we didn’t stop the crying soon enough which is sort of funny in hindsight but definitely not amusing at all at the time. That’s not an issue anymore as I guess toddler tantrums don’t bother her. She’s also been pretty non-reactive to the baby pulling her tail or whacking her – she just flees – which is a huge relief, since she’s usually pretty bad about anger displacement onto the nearest convenient body. I would also add that my cat started having bathroom accidents when we had the baby and I chalked it up to stress at first, but when they didn’t stop I took her to the vet and she ended up needing to be on a different diet and I felt pretty bad I didn’t look into the issue sooner.
Anonymous says
It could be that it’s not an issue, depending on the cat. We have a cat that really needs to be in a single-cat household but he has no issues with our toddler. It’s like he understands our kid is the human equivalent of a kitten.
I agree with other comments that age 1 is a tricky age, because the kid is mobile but not able to be gentle despite good intentions. For that age, we discovered that while our toddler hates being in the playpen, our cat loves it, so for a while we put his cat bed in the playpen in the family room and everyone was happy.
Abby says
Ugh tried to post this yesterday and it was in m0d all day.
Anyone up for babymoon daydreaming? DH and I are willing to spend a week and ~$10k on a lux babymoon. We usually are pretty active vacationers, and are looking for more resort/relaxing
1. Suggestions for where to go that is warm in January (end of my 2nd trimester)
OR
2. We have the opportunity to go to Maui and stay for free, but the only week available is when I’m 30 weeks. Flight with a layover would be ~12 hours of traveling. Is this crazy? This offer is always available to us, so we can always go later with baby.
Anonymous says
We did a babymoon at Atlantis in the Bahamas in February and it ended up being really fun!
Anonymous says
I would not plan on #2. Many people are totally able to travel at 30 weeks but also many would not be able to do that flight due to either complications or just discomfort, and you don’t know which group you’ll fall into until that time. Rather than cancel if it becomes apparent you won’t want to/be able to travel, I’d schedule something easier. Make sure it’s a location with a hospital you are comfortable staying in for some time / where your health insurance will cover.
Hmmmm says
Maui is amazing! I wouldn’t want to do that flight at 30 weeks pregnant personally, but others may feel differently. There’s also always the risk of being “stuck” at your destination for weeks/months longer than expected if something happens or if the baby is born super early, which is rare but not unheard of at 30-31 weeks. (Not to mention then you’d have to fly back with a newborn at some point.) The chances of that actually happening are small, but it’s something to keep in mind.
Personally I would take your own baby moon and then take the baby to Maui later! But I don’t think there’s a wrong answer here.
anon says
Yeah, I was coming here to say this. My BFF went to Hawaii at 29 weeks, having what everyone thought was a perfectly normal pregnancy. And her water broke on the second day. She spent five weeks in the hospital there (with her partner by necessity home in NYC at work) and then delivered unexpectedly in the middle of the night at 34 weeks (it took partner over 12 hours to get there, obviously, so he missed it). Then the NICU stay and getting a fragile NICU newborn home — it was an absolute nightmare. She has a huge amount of trauma she is still working through three years later.
Likely? No. But you bet I had it in mind when I got pregnant. FWIW we did Bermuda in the second tri and then a few small trips in the continental U.S. in late second tri/early third. That turned out to be a good call since my easy pregnancy got suddenly complicated around 32 weeks. Everyone was fine, but I was basically living at my doctor’s office, and travel was just not going to happen. I’m glad I didn’t have any plans to cancel.
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t go to Maui for relaxing. There’s so much to do and see! St Lucia looks amazing
startup lawyer says
We went to Miami for our babymoon. It was an easy flight from NY and pretty chill/relaxing with option to browse and go to fun restaurants and tons of hotel options
startup lawyer says
oops it wouldnt be warm enough in january
Anon says
Miami’s plenty warm in January! The locals don’t swim because it’s “winter” to them, but when I lived there I often went swimming in January. The average high is above 75!
startup lawyer says
I think I got really unlucky the one time I went in January. It was in the 60s all week. :( Our babymoon was in May and Miami was perfect. I’d do the Standard. Adults only and away from riff raff
Mathy says
We stayed at the St. Regis in Bal Harbour for our babymoon weekend last year and it was divine. Lots of relaxing, decent spa, really good food both on site (the breakfast is so good) and at restaurants nearby (Joe’s Stone Crab in particular was dream worthy). Highly recommend.
Anon says
After the point of viability, I wouldn’t travel somewhere I didn’t want to be stuck fo several months. I know someone who delivered on a babymoon in Hawaii around 25 weeks and it was a logistical nightmare that involved one spouse quitting their job to stay in HI with the baby.
Pre-viability, I wouldn’t travel somewhere where I couldn’t obtain ab-rtion care if I needed it. Pretty sure that rules out Florida, and maybe some Caribbean countries. I haven’t researched it enough to know which ones.
I’d definitely go to an adults only resort – not only because it’s better not to have kids around on a trip like this, but also because (unless you’re lucky to have a lot of family willing to watch your kids while you travel) you won’t have many chances to visit resorts that don’t allow kids in the next 20 years or so. I love family travel but one of the things I miss most about pre-kid life is visiting fabulous adults only resorts.
Some Caribbean properties I’d consider (probably not all of them within budget): LeBlanc in Cancun, Excellence Resorts (in Mexico, Jamaica and possibly other countries), Jade Mountain in St. Lucia, Hermitage Bay and Cocobay in Antigua, Bucuti in Aruba. Sandals is a big name in adults only resorts in the Caribbean, but personally I wouldn’t do that because they have the family friendly Beaches brand that is so similar.
Anonymous says
I would not do Sandals because it is all American honeymooners or Europeans who smoke.
Anon says
Well I’m not sure American honeymooners are much different than American babymooners? Similar ages, and all couples. My parents like Sandals and have never complained about smoking and they’re generally pretty sensitive to that. I know it was a big issue for them when they went to French Polynesia.
Anonymous says
OK, to be more specific: American honeymooners of the variety who had bach parties in Nashville with 18 women all wearing t-shirts emblazoned “team bride.” We had our honeymoon at Sandals and it was very much not our scene.
Anon says
Sandals resorts are not a monolith and not all of them are party-heavy. As you can probably imagine, that is definitely not my 70-something parents’ scene either LOL, and they’ve been very happy with most of the Sandals they’ve been too. In particular they like the Halcyon in St Lucia. That one has a quiet, laidback vibe. There’s another resort on the same island (the Grande I think?) with much more of a party scene. You definitely need to do some online research or hire a travel agent to make sure you find a resort that fits your personality.
Anon says
i agree with the advice not to go somewhere you aren’t ok with being stuck. while yes unlikely, it does happen.
Anon says
I think I’m on the extreme end of this, but I was not really comfortable traveling anywhere I didn’t want to get stuck past about 20 weeks. It’s not only the risk of an early delivery and NICU baby, it’s also a risk of a serious complication that put you on bed rest or prevent you from flying home (although the latter is not as much of a risk if the travel is within the continental US). So we didn’t take a babymoon. But I also have to admit I wasn’t really itching for one as we took an amazing trip to Italy right before we conceived, and we couldn’t go anywhere tropical over the winter because of Zika. And we’d been together almost 10 years by that point and had lots of travels as a couple. So maybe I would have had a higher risk tolerance if I’d been really eager to travel.
I did do a work trip (a fairly optional one – attending a conference that was useful but not mandatory) around 25 weeks but only because it was in a city where we had friends and extended family and I knew I’d be ok if I ended up having to stay there for a while.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Thanks for all the tips re DS #1 yesterday!
The NPR article was great. I showered him with love upon pickup (OMG I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!!!), made jokes (e.g. should I call the ambulance?), allowed one meltdown (there was avocado on his fork!), and we had a few minutes of non-screen special time once little brother was down. At least for yesterday through this morning, it worked like a charm, and bonus – it was fun for me as a parent too.
Automatic loan forgiveness says
Has anyone successfully opted out of the automatic loan forgiveness? It’s taxable in my state, and I’m going to be eligible for PSLF forgiveness really soon. Unfortunately, my loan servicer is making it impossible – has to be done by phone, which means waiting upwards of an hour only to get disconnected.
Mary Moo Cow says
I will eligible for PSLF forgiveness sin less than 2 years, so I’ve decided not to apply for the the automatic loan forgiveness. My thinking was that the total will be forgiven so why go through the additional step? I’m curious if others who are in the PSLF pipeline are applying for automatic loan forgiveness or not.
But your comment threw me: I didn’t know it was automatic and taxable in some states. I better look into this.
OP says
Informal poll among my colleagues (public interest law org) is that people who’ve just started the PSLF process and have years to go ARE taking the loan forgiveness, with the idea that they don’t know where they’ll be in 7-10 years and any little bit helps. People who are within 1-2 years of PSLF forgiveness are hoping to opt out.
Anonymous says
Also on track for PSLF in the next few years, so not as close as many here but not just starting out either. I’ll have to look at taxes for my state (VA), but at first blush I’m kind of torn on whether to apply for the $10k. It seems like such a drop in the bucket of what my balance is up to, but back if my mind, I’m still worried PSLF will fall through and I should at least get the $10k just in case.
Redux says
Hm, this had not occurred to me. I’m also really close to PSLF and think its a little funny that i’ll have this small amount forgiven, then the whole bucket canceled next year– seems like an administrative redundancy at best, but I had not considered the adverse tax implications. Thanks for raising.
Anon says
Last night we had a really rough 1.5 hours in parenting. 4 year old Twin A is sick and was up half the night the prior night. Then as we are getting ready for bed Twin B suddenly “needed” a bandaid and i said we weren’t getting one and she completely lost it and just had a SCREAMING, hysterical, crying etc tantrum. She’s a big kid so it’s hard to physically restrain her. Of course both kids are yelling for mommy and so i don’t know which one to be with, Twin A gets scared/upset of how Twin B is acting, DH trying to pick up Twin B to remove her from the room where Twin A is trying to sleep, both kids, but especially Twin B is having a major mommy preference right now. I did not give in and get the bandaid, though I was tempted. I’ve ready “How to Talk” and other parenting books, but with this kid have a lot of trouble deescalating once she’s already escalated and I want to help equip her with the tools to regulate her emotions. We have some success with techniques to avoid the escalation to begin with, but once she is there it is very very hard to get her back. I also do a lot of solo parenting and am not sure what to do in the moment if/when i’m alone with the kids. Any tips or tricks that help your kiddo?
AwayEmily says
I don’t have tips to help kids de-escalate but I have a tip to help ME navigate meltdowns — basically, I just tell myself repeatedly that my only job is stay calm and let the kid get it out and that at this point, there is literally nothing I can do except be a soothing presence. When I abandon the idea that it’s even possible to “turn off” the meltdown, it is much easier to for me to stay sane. Survival is the watchword! Meltdowns at 4 are normal and sometimes they just need to get it out. It sounds like you are doing everything right.
OP says
this reframing actually helps a lot. Twin A has plenty of her own challenges, but doesn’t have 1+ hour long meltdowns so it often makes me feel like there is something wrong with Twin B and is the only kid who has long intense meltdowns
Anon says
I try to give in to my kids as much as possible and not pick battles when it’s really not a big deal – so in this case, I would have given the bandaid. She’s probably feeling jealous that sick sister got more attention. Sometimes I even let myself change my mind if the situation escalates – “You know what, I can see you really think a bandaid will help you feel better right now. I think I can probably get you one after all; I said no without thinking before and I’m sorry.”
But, to your larger point, sometimes I can tell it’s not about “the bandaid” and no matter what I say yes to there will still be tears. I think you did the right thing removing her from the room; after settling twin A, if DH wants to tag out I think you could go to twin B. You aren’t rewarding her, you are meeting her need. It sounds like she was overtired and felt left out and physically could not control herself. How old are they, btw?
I’ve also had luck saying I was going to help my son “cool his lava” and pretend to tickle ice over his head and down his arms and back and really responds to that calming touch.
Anon says
Oh, I see you said 4. My older boys are 5 & 7 and these meltdowns are still rather common. They are spirited kids. And usually it’s a sign for me they are hungry/tired/need more connection time. I get you on how overwhelming they feel as a parent, though.
Anonymous says
+1 to avoiding the battle and also reconsidering sometimes even after you have drawn a line in the sand – the bandaid fixation stage is short, just stock up and dole them out when requested. (I meant to start giving boxes of bandaids as 3 year old birthday gifts but I think I forgot.)
NYCer says
+2.
OP says
Yes I’m usually a pick and choose your battles kind of person and didn’t anticipate this kind of reaction but then got myself into one of those situations where i kind of dug myself into a hole and didn’t want to just give into the hysterics though i probably should’ve just gotten her a bandaid in the first place. I’d already given into some other things earlier in the evening and felt like i shouldn’t just give into everything but maybe it was just one of those days where i should’ve cut myself some slack.
Anon says
I guess I see it differently to give in to a tantrum vs to give into a request or even a demand. If my kid said she needed a bandaid, I would give her one even if I didn’t think she actually needed it. If it was phrased rudely like “GIVE ME A BANDAID NOW” I might say “can you rephrase that?” or “How do you ask nicely?” But I wouldn’t say “no, you can’t have a bandaid.” Once we are at the full-on tantrum stage, I don’t give in either, even if the initial request was reasonable.
Anon says
I returned a couple things to Primary in JUNE and the refund only finally went through today. Is this normal for them? It’s a shockingly long time to wait.
Anon says
Wow! I haven’t shopped there in a long time (I think not since the pandemic?) but that wasn’t my experience a few years ago at all.
HSAL says
That’s nuts. No experience with Primary but I just had a Modcloth return that wasn’t getting refunded – I waited until a month after they received the return and reached out to CS, and they apologized and refunded it immediately. I’m always curious how things like that fall through the cracks.