Accessory Tuesday: Cap Toe Ballet Flat

How do you and SO come to an agreement when you disagree on a budget for a major purchase? Specifically, a house or car? For background, I’m usually the one who wants to spend more. And I usually just let it go, because I’m not willing to spend a bunch of money without knowing husband is comfortable with it. It’s all very amicable – there’s no big fighting or drama, and husband is a great guy. He’s just less comfortable spending money than me. Usually, I have no problem letting it go or compromising more than him. I’m kind of thinking about standing my ground for my next car purchase. However, I feel greedy knowing husband isn’t truly on board. First world problems, I know. But I’d kind of like to hear how other couples sort this out.

I just read your post from yesterday and could have written it myself. I just went through this process with my son. I felt just like you – I almost felt like not getting a diagnosis was going to be worse than getting one. We did get an ADHD diagnosis and have start meds. We have experienced a bit of trial and error and I still feel conflicted about it. Anyway, if you want to commiserate with an internet stranger who is feeling the same feelings and dealing with the same behaviors, you can email me at a big orange drink at the mail of g. no spaces.

When did you switch from an infant to a convertible carseat? Our 1 y/o is 17 lbs, but his infant car seat expires in September, which will probably be before he reaches the 30 lb weight limit. I realize I could do nothing for a while, but I’m trying to figure out if the one year mark is significant or just seems to coincide with most infant seat limits of 20 lbs.

For many of the reasons articulated in yesterday’s discussion of why it is ok to only have one kid, DH and I were not sure if we wanted to have 1 or 2. Neither of us are particularly close with our siblings, we each had a sibling who caused our parents a lot of grief and while we can afford to have two, we liked some of the decreased financial and logistical stress of only having one. We are also a bit older than we would’ve liked to be when having our first. But we are having twins, so 2 it is. Please tell me that there are also benefits to having 2 kids.

Folks who have been in similar situations: what would you do?
I’ve been working all year on the programme, speakers, etc for a major event my company is contracted to coordinate – so it’s more than just logistics. Event is in September (think something akin to the World Economic Forum meetings) in another country. I’m leading the programme development portion, so this event is kind of my baby. However, I’m also pregnant with kid #2…and real baby is due in early August. I haven’t informed work yet, but I want to put together a solid plan and backup plans before I do.

Would you feel lucid enough, 6 weeks postpartum, to: *not* fly to event location (which may work for other people, but from experience I know the international travel and the pumping would be too much stress for me), but be involved remotely in other ways (brief speakers via conference call, take notes, write communications material and post-event reports)? I’d be asking if I can work X hours a week (eg 25% or 50% time, as needed), but not full-time. WWYD?

I just got a hard-earned promotion at work! I need some ideas on ways to celebrate. We can’t find a sitter for this weekend (there’s a big high school dance), so going out to eat as adults is out of the question. The kids are 3 and 5 and very hit-and-miss in restaurants. Staying in and ordering sushi just feels like a regular day. Any fun ideas that will make it feel like a celebration even with young kids in tow?

My husband doesn’t like my job. He frequently makes comments about other men’s wives having more impressive jobs than I do. The latest was a response to my pointing out that some guy he’d been talking to was an IT guy with a lawyer wife, just like him: “No, HIS wife is general counsel of a company.” He has zero comprehension of what it is I do, how challenging it is, or why it is important to society. I think he’s always felt cheated because I didn’t go into Biglaw and make a ton of money, even though that was never the plan and he expects me to do all the traditional wife and mom stuff while also earning a salary. Lately he has been complaining that I don’t earn enough money and that I travel too much. To earn more and reduce my travel, I’d have to start over in what would be my third career, and I’d have to give up the meaningful work I do to join a for-profit company and deal with subject matter I find uninteresting at best. I don’t know what to do here.