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This pretty kitten heel pump is from Calvin Klein, whose shoes are surprisingly well-regarded. Every time I see one online they’ve got a really great rating, and we’ve included their Gayle pumps in the Corporette Workwear Hall of Fame because they’ve been around for years and always get high marks. These come in five colors in sizes 5-11 (what’s still in stock depends on size/color), and they’re only $108 at Nordstrom. Calvin Klein Page Pointy Toe Pump
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Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Poopgoesinthepotty says
Can we start the day off talking about poop? My 2.5 year old has been great about peeing in the potty and has virtually stopped having pee accidents. Poop has been a different story. We’ve had a few successes, but they’ve been flukes (that is, I’ll sit him on his little potty chair and when I go to empty it out, I’m suprised to see poop in there). He knows that poop goes in the potty and we discuss that every time he poops his pants when he’s with me or dad. He spends his days at day care, where he will either hold it for a day or poop his pants. We really want to nip this in the bud before he starts Prek3. Any tips on how to get him to recognize the feeling or to otherwise “let go”?
I did read the Oh Crap book, but I didn’t find the advice too helpful. Help!
anon says
At 2.5, this is still really normal. Or at least it has been for my kids. It’s not unusual for kids to master the potty long before pooping. It sounds like you’re already doing everything I’d suggest.
mascot says
Are you starting to see any patterns in his habits? Does daycare still give you reports regarding potty times and results? The frequency slows down around that age in my experience. If you know he tends to hold it and go in the evening, build some extra time into his routine (maybe after a warm relaxing bath) to sit for a while. My kid had a morning habit when he was that age, which slowed down the morning routine a bit, but we just focused on consistency and dealt with running late.
Poopgoesinthepotty says
He used to be a mid-morning guy when he was in diapers, but now he’s all over the place. I try to encourage him to just sit on the potty, but he starts to get angry and says he doesn’t have to go. I don’t want it to be a point of contention (and if he’s angry and tense, it’s not going to help him poop anyway). I’m hoping time helps, but one teacher at daycare (thankfully not his primary caretaker) has asked that he go back to pull-ups because she had to throw out a pay of underwear that ended up quite soiled. I said no and I’m willing to risk having underwear being thrown out if it means that he gets this more quickly. Plus I’m afraid that he might regress with respect to pee.
We’re pretty open about poop in our family and he isn’t shy about talking about it either (he likes to tell eveyrone how he saw the animals poop at the zoo). He just needs to recoginize that he has to go before it’s too late. Bah.
Anon in NYC says
If he were wearing a diaper, could he tell you that he had to poop? I’m wondering if he can recognize the feeling at all.
Poopgoesinthepotty says
He was never the type to retreat to poop and never seemed bothered by it in his diaper. Although when he was in pull-ups, he started to tell us after the fact that he pooped, but it was hit or miss.
Anon in NYC says
If that’s the case, I think this might be a situation where you just need to give it time. I think there was a Daniel Tiger episode where he had to stop playing to go to the bathroom, which may help combat some of his unwillingness to go when he’s in the middle of something.
Personally, I’d probably ask my pediatrician as well, just to get a gut check if this is normal. I suspect it is but I’d want some medical reassurance too.
Poopgoesinthepotty says
LOL– we know that Daniel Tiger song by heart. Thanks all for the advice!
Edna Mazur says
If you have to go potty, stop and go right away,
Flush and wash and be on your way.
Pigpen's Mama says
That dang song was going through my head during a long long client meeting (when I had to go to the bathroom).
Good times.
FTMinFL says
I’m here this morning to sing the praises of the Betabrand maternity yoga pant dress pant – I hate maternity work pants, but I don’t ever want to take these off! The material is a thick ponte and the waist band can easily be folded over or worn the way the model on the Betabrand s*te wears it for more support. I think these will be great for postpartum wear, as well!
I’m 5’5″ 125lb (when not pregnant) and gain alllll my weight in my butt, hips and thighs. I purchased a petite medium and the length is just short enough that I can wear flats, but it doesn’t look silly with 2.5″ heels.
Pogo says
Do they look dressy enough to be dress pants? The pockets look clearly ‘faux’.
FTMinFL says
They definitely do from the hips down. The pockets don’t look as bad in person, IMO. I’ve been wearing them with my top untucked or with a blazer or cardigan that covers to my hips, anyway. If you got really close to look at the seams you would notice that they are not a typical dress pant fabric, but I cannot imagine a scenario at my office where anyone would be anywhere near that close.
Pogo says
That’s what I was thinking – I cant believe they show it on the model as tucked in! Also seems like it would be bunchy/uncomfortable.
help at grandma's house says
I’m beyond frustrated with my 7-year-old. Every time we get together with my parents, at their house, I can count on him having some uncharacteristically intense meltdown. At this point, I think it’s attention seeking behavior. He gets mouthy, argumentative and just plain mean with me when I tell him to use his manners or play more quietly. He cries, loudly — seriously, it sounds like a toddler meltdown. He pulls c r a p that he never would at home, and I spend a lot of time removing him from the situation and/or the rules at Grandma’s house. Last weekend, his response that “Grandma’s house doesn’t have rules.” Oh heck no. I explained that Grandma’s rules are the same as ours at home and he sassed back, “No, that’s not true.” His behavior embarrasses me and I’m at the end of my rope trying to figure out WHY he’s doing this. Before each visit, I’ve been proactive about telling him how I expect him to behave. It doesn’t work. I’ve removed him from the situation, or even left early. It doesn’t have any lasting effect.
He so badly wants my mom’s attention at all times and is a total pest when she’s trying to get a meal on the table, play with other cousins, etc. It’s not like he doesn’t get one-on-one time with her, so I don’t know why he’s feeling so neglected. She’s been more than patient with him, and maybe that’s part of the problem. My mom says no, but he still tries to walk all over her because she’s too nice about it.
Anyway, I’ve started avoiding going to my parents’ house altogether because the entire situation makes me feel like a terrible parent even though I’m trying to address it. He doesn’t act like this at home; it’s a lovely act for my parents and siblings.
mascot says
How does he act when he’s by himself with your mom? Like if he spent the night, does he listen about going to bed and following her rules? He’s probably old enough to articulate what is different about the rules at your mom’s house. Can you and your mom work on having uniform rules for a while until he gets past this? Even the little things make a difference at this age, like my parents insistence on having chocolate milk in the fridge for the grandkids. We struggle with this some, especially with MIL. She’s much more likely to blow off bad behavior and doesn’t like to come down hard on our kid. We’ve had to ask her multiple times to be stern and not give him any wiggle room. It’s made somewhat easier by the fact that she sees him regularly so she doesn’t feel like she is spending what little time she gets with him playing “mean grandma”.
help at grandma's house says
He does listen and follow the rules when he’s one-on-one with my parents. It drives me crazy that my mom rolls out all sorts of treats and lets him eat whatever he wants while he’s there. She tells him no, and generally sticks to it, but she says it in such a sweet, nice voice that he’s not understanding that it’s a firm boundary. The great irony is that she’s a preschool teacher, but she understandably wants to be in “doting grandparent” mode with our kids instead of the hard*** she has to be on a daily basis.
NewMomAnon says
Is it possible he’s getting tense and nervous at your mom’s house? When my dad used to take me on skiing trips, I would act like a total brat because I was so scared and nervous – it wasn’t until I was an adult that I could finally verbalize that, so he thought I was just an ungrateful brat.
If that’s the case, then he should be old enough to discuss with you how he physically feels at your mom’s house. Maybe his chest feels tight, and his shoulders feel tense, or he gets a bad feeling in his stomach? I’d spend some time figuring this out. It might be important.
help at grandma's house says
You bring up a good point about his overall emotional state when we go there. I think he gets so excited/amped up that he loses all sense of reason or decorum. It’s not during the entire visit, but usually around mealtimes when there are a lot of people in the same space. No matter what, it’s always controlled chaos because of the number of kids (seven grandkids age 7 and under). He’s the oldest of this crew and is pretty high energy in all circumstances. He also gets really attached to routines. If he gets to sit next to Grandma at one meal, he wants to do it again and again and again.
He’s absolutely fine when it’s just our immediate family, plus my parents. The problems seem to start when any of the aunts, uncles and cousins are around, too.
Anonymous says
“He also gets really attached to routines”
It sounds like he’s overwhelmed by the chaos of people and timing. Can you talk to your mom about having specific spots where everyone sits consistently or a rotation system? Could an adult take the kids outside to burn off some energy before dinner?
NewMomAnon says
Ahh, the high energy, intense kiddos who get overstimulated in social settings. I have a 3 year old version.
I don’t know if this would work for a 7 year old, but for my 3 year old, I enlist the help of other adults to remove kiddo to a quiet place and do some quiet work (or eat a special quiet meal) when she gets out of control. It’s really important that this isn’t punitive; that’s why I have a favorite uncle or grandpa teed up to take kiddo away, so it’s still a “treat” but a much less stimulating treat. This is about teaching self-regulation, not punishing bad behavior.
Alternatively, can you let your son play some video games or listen to music with headphones when he feels out of control? I know that’s frowned on in the parenting media, but it has to be better for self-esteem than letting a kid melt down in front of a large group of people.
help at grandma's house says
Yeah, this would be awesome and ideal. It works really well with DH’s family, where he and his sister are the only little kids. In this situation, all the aunts and uncles have their hands full with their own kids.
anon says
So is the issue he is competing with other grandkids for her attention, and/or that when it gets chaotic he either can’t handle the chaos or feels like the rules are getting suspended (he may have a point about their being no rules if they get relaxed because there are so many kids running around, right?)? If he can behave properly in smaller groups at her house it sounds like the group is the problem more than the location. Would it help to give him a special job as the oldest kid – like I need you to make sure that x younger kid doesn’t get hurt, or show x younger kid how we set the table, or show the younger kids the rules? Maybe having a meeting alone with grandma and you and him to decide what the rules should be, and then having him be in charge of helping to teach them to younger kids?
help at grandma's house says
Good points. It might be a little bit of both. He really wants attention, but I also know he does not do well with things being unstructured.
Your idea about giving him a specific role might work. For a seven-year-old, he is quite responsible in many ways — and he really likes being in charge. (Although my mom will have to set aside her control freak tendencies about everything at the table being Just So, which is a completely unrealistic expectation for this current stage of life.)
Anonymous says
Can he read or ‘tell stories’ with books? Can you park him on the couch and put him in charge of reading books/telling stories to whichever littler kids are interested? My 2 year old will sit and listen to my 5 year old ‘read’ Brown Bear Brown Bear all day long.
Anonymous says
He’s seven, right? If he’s a second grader, I’d go without him and take lots and lots of pictures and video os all the fun you had without him. Tell him only well behaved kids go to grandmas. Also, give him chores or worksheets to do at home while you go.
If he’s just seven I would take him and them yank him out of there the second he acts up. Sit in the car with him (maybe bring those worksheets anyway!) If grandma has a yard, he can have his meltdowns outside away from “civilized” folks.
If he can read well, I’d print out a list of “Grandma’s House Rules” and maybe “Our House Rules” that are *slightly* different and have him read and compare them. Or even a list of “My Behavior Rules” that have nothing to do with where he is. Make him right a short essay, even!
10 is the new 13, so I’d get way ahead of this.
help at grandma's house says
Leaving him at home might be my next tactic. I’ve been taking him away from the crowd when he acts up (either to the car, or to a quiet room). It seems to make him even more upset, although he calms down eventually. But honestly, it ruins the visits for me. His 2-year-old sister is easier to handle at the grandparents’ house than he is.
I like the idea of making a Grandma’s rules list. We have one at home already so that might work.
Miami says
Does anyone have updated information on zika risk in the Miami area? DH has a business trip planned to Miami in a few weeks, and I’m a bit concerned since we’ll be TTC #2 in the next 3-4 months. He’ll likely be inside at a hotel almost the entire time, so I recognize the risk is low – but we had a zika scare with our first pregnancy and those 9 months of waiting to see what would happen were not fun. I’ve checked the CDC website and it’s the usual precautionary language, but I’m curious whether anyone has had conversations with doctors, local folks on the ground in Miami, etc. about the potential risks.
Anon says
Thanks for asking! I’ll be traveling to Jacksonville and Ponte Vedra Beach at the end of April and will be 20 weeks pregnant. From what I can find, I am OK going for now…
Pogo says
My OB was fine with me going to Florida. I can’t go because of my low lying placenta, but the Zika risk is very very low.
anon says
I’m looking for anonymous internet support. I’ve posted before — on here or the main site — about moving to a small town for my now husband, giving up a (legal) job I loved and excelled at, and being unable to find a job in the small town. I’ve been commuting about three hours a day for several years, to a job I don’t love. I’m reaching the end of my maternity leave and have decided that I won’t be going back. The commute was soul-crushing enough before I had a kid; add in that it would largely prevent me from seeing said kid during the week, and I just can’t do it. I had thought about trying to go part-time, but I never want to be full-time there again and it would take time away from my current plan — networking and volunteering in small town in the hopes of finding a local job.
I am not sure how to handle my profound sadness about quitting. I wanted my kid to have a working mother, and I’m terrified I will not be able to get back into the job market.
I’m also not sure when and how to start the job search. Is it ok to let connections know that I’m quitting only because of the commute? Should I wait a few months and spin it as wanting a longer maternity leave than I could get? I’m concerned about people thinking I couldn’t hack it or wasn’t committed. And, maybe, that’s true–I’m just not willing to make the family sacrifices required for a job I don’t really like that involves that much of a commute.
Any kind words on how to navigate this? (Please don’t just tell me it’s a mistake to quit, because I’m all too aware of the risks.)
Anonymous says
I would DEFINITELY pin this on a 3 hour commute. EVERYBODY (men, women, dogs, sea snails) hates commuting.
Good luck!!
Em says
+1 I would emphasize the commute and not mention the maternity leave. I would also suggest making sure some or all of your volunteering is legal related (like pro-bono work or something similar) so you are keeping your legal skills up-to-date.
anon says
That was my plan — there are a couple public interest organizations that could use my skills, so I was going to try to work with one where I will meet people and they’ll be able to see me in action.
ElisaR says
+1 That commute sounds awful and it’s truly a quality of life thing! I think most people would understand that. I wouldn’t even consider a 3 hour commute with a baby at home.
Anonymous says
No one will question that you quit a job with a 3 hour daily commute. No one will expect you to do that with a small baby. The fact that you did it for years demonstrates that you can be incredibly committed to a job.
Look for someone to provide 3 hours childcare weekly – maybe you’d be comfortable with a high school student since you’d still be in the house. Use that time to job hunt/keep up with professional contacts/network etc. It will help you feel that you have a life outside of baby. Look at work from home options as well – Editing/Researching etc.
This probably feels scary and overwhelming to not be employed and be in a small town with a new baby but you are clearly smart and capable and you will find your path. Sometimes when a door closes you just have to look for a window. The next stage may not be what you’ve imagined for yourself but you will find your path.
Pogo says
+1 I did a 3 hour commute (1.5 hours each way) for about two months before I quit. No one ever made any comments to me about it, it seemed like a really obvious choice!
NewMomAnon says
I would absolutely share that you quit because of a 3 hour commute! Nobody would question your dedication for quitting that kind of job when you have a small baby.
Can you look for work that you could do remotely? My law firm has been willing to hire people to work from remote locations (seriously, like several states away from our nearest office).
You should hire childcare while job searching. I know it seems like a big expense when you only have one income, but job searching with a baby in tow would be very, very hard. You’ll want a consistent time when you can do a phone interview without a baby crying in the background, or when you can meet someone for coffee, or just half a couple hours to work on cover letters (or writing articles).
anon says
I agree that not wanting a 3 hour commute is totally understandable for anyone, and see no reason for you to wait to start job hunting. Your child isn’t going to remember whether or not you worked for YEARS yet, so you have plenty of time to get back in the game before the baby even knows what happened. I also agree that starting some kind of childcare right away is a good idea if at all possible financially – if nothing else, it is hard to find childcare quickly if you suddenly get a job offer. And I think you’ll feel better knowing you are taking concrete actions to realize your goals. Best of luck to you – you can do this!
anon says
Thanks for the support, everyone.
We’re planning on finding child care for a day a week, and I’ve already found a babysitter who cover me while I attend various local bar meetings.
Any advice on how I’d go about finding opportunities to work remotely? I didn’t realize such legal jobs existed.
bluefield says
There was an article in the last year or so about a law firm that employs women and everyone works remotely. I forgot the name of the firm but the article was in the NYT.
Miami says
Not sure what practice area you’re in but several of the large L&E firms hire attorneys to work remotely.
EBMom says
If you can, network in your city. If there is a firm that allows some of its attorneys to work remotely, then try to lateral there and propose a remote work situation after you have established yourself as someone that they would like to keep. Or even just pitch yourself as a contract attorney to firms in the city, since you could come in for meetings but would be willing to do the work from home (assuming your childcare arrangements could accommodate the up and down schedule of contract work).
Anon in NYC says
I’ll echo all of the comments that it’s perfectly okay to place the blame on your commute! I don’t think you even need to go into a longer maternity leave.
As for guilt / sadness / fear, I get it. It’s okay to have those feelings. Before you start job searching, I would try to line up some part-time childcare so that you can dedicate some time to reaching out to contacts, finding organizations, working on cover letters and your resume, etc. Perhaps there are legal jobs that you can do remotely or some legal temp agencies that work in your region.
Closet Redux says
My only caution about making it all about the commute is what would happen if you find a job you want with a similar commute? I am in a similar situation: lawyer, moved for husband’s job to a small town, city is about a 2-hour/day commute, and I have a new baby plus a toddler. The fact is that there really are only jobs for me in the city. If your market is small, like mine is, I would be nervous about people learning that you quit the job on account of the commute. Where I am, lots of people commute long distances from small towns. Maybe you know you are not willing to do that commute again, but beware ruling it out so publicly in case you aren’t able to find something in your small town.
If it were me (and it was me recently) I would keep my current job and drop to part-time, using the other part-time to job hunt and network closer to home. In my small town this could be a years-long process and I don’t want to be hustling for remote work for years.
Alternatively (more drastically) could you move? It’s pretty unfair that you’ve moved to a small town for husband’s job and you have this monster commute. Are there towns in the middle that would give you more even commutes?
SC says
That’s a really good point. I think you could still frame it as, “The job wasn’t the right fit for me, and the commute would have been really difficult right now.” Then, if in a couple of years, you’re looking at a good job that has a similar commute, you can say something like, “This opportunity is a good fit, and now that Kiddo is X years old, the commute will be much more manageable.”
Spirograph says
I spent 2-3 hours/day commuting when I went back to work after my first maternity leave, and it was awful. I rarely saw the baby awake during the week, and it just killed me. I couldn’t rationalize with “at least I get to read a book on the metro” anymore because first baby > book. After a few months, I told my boss I couldn’t do it anymore and offered to work at another location in a slightly different role; I don’t know that I was ready to walk away if he’d said no, but luckily he agreed. It sounds like this isn’t an option for you, but it’s definitely worth telling people that the commute is the sticking point, so you can leverage your network to potentially find something closer to home. ianal, so no help with a remote legal job, but big hugs; this is a tough decision, but I don’t think you’ll regret it.
Cameras says
I think I got stuck in moderation yesterday… Any specific recommendations for point and shoot cameras? Budget is $500 and ability to capture quickly moving toddlers is of utmost importance.
Thanks!
Kindergarten boy says
Glad you posted this. I started a search for a similar one and gave up overwhelmed by the choices. A nudge of $500 will get you a really, really nice camera not just a point and shoot. See the sweethome / wirecutter for their recommendations. (I’m a huge fan and often do just buy their top choice but for this decision I am paralyzed by historical preferences to Canon).
Alexandria, VA says
It would be helpful to know why you want a point and shoot camera? If you are trying to avoid the size of a DSLR, I understand. I purchased a mirrorless camera as a DSLR gets to bulky when traveling with kids. However, I am not sure there is much available for $500. Have you considered just upgrading your phone? In my opinion, the point and shoots are not much better and are far less convenient.
EBMom says
I almost posted this exact sentiment. I looked into getting a camera when my baby was born and after many hours of pointless research, I realized that a phone with a good camera and paying for cloud storage was going to suit my needs the best.
Anonymous says
the main reason to go with a point and shoot is to get something that’s toddler proof – waterproof for swimming pictures on vacation and shock proof for when toddler drops it a million times.
Anonymous says
We went with a shockproof/waterproof/freezeproof camera. DH originally got it for winter kayaking but it’s lasted really well despite a lot of abuse by 3 kids under 6. It’s no DSLR but it’s perfect for our lifestyle. I can’t remember the specific model but it was the highest end waterproof point and shoot that Canon had when we bought it.
Cameras says
I have no interest in learning a DSLR. I like simple. My husband has the most updated iPhone, I pay no attention so I don’t know what number iPhone we’re at, but I can definitely tell a difference in the quality when I print pictures. I like doing photo books and other photo gifts and the quality difference is really evident.
I am overwhelmed by options. I had a trusty Canon that worked for years and I just loved it. The quality was high. Now, all the pictures are blurry but it’s quite old so I’m OK with replacing it. I just don’t know what to buy to replace it.
Anonymous says
Fwiw, you can use a DSLR as a point and shoot camera. They all have “automatic” modes where they are no harder to operate than a point and shoot camera. If you have $500 to spend, I would just get the DSLR. The photo quality will be noticeably better even if you always use it on automatic settings.
NewMomAnon says
Ok, so my 3 year old kiddo has started gagging on food. It started out with just select vegetables (peas, corn), and then started to include meat (unless she likes it), and some fruit with skin or strings (bananas, oranges – both of which used to be favorite fruits). Last night she was cruising through some mashed potatoes and suddenly gagged after a bite, and wouldn’t touch them after that. She has gagged so hard that she’s thrown up several times.
Is this a normal 3 year old thing? She was a human garbage disposal as a baby, got very picky around her third birthday, and the gagging has started in the last month or so.
Anonymous says
Try saline in her nose before meals. My 2 year old gets like this when he has a cold coming on. I think his stuffy nose makes it hard for him to switch between breathing through his mouth and eating with his mouth and he ends up gagging.
avocado says
My kid, who was a voracious and adventurous eater until about age 3 and then turned into an extremely picky eater, went through a brief gagging phase at maybe 6. It was mostly related to texture and sometimes to strong flavors. It was self-reinforcing and escalated–if she gagged on a food once, she would get hysterical and gag on it again just out of anticipation. I would stop serving the foods that she’s gagging on for several days just to break the cycle. Focus on foods with textures and flavors that she’s very comfortable with. If she gags, calmly direct her to take deep breaths and/or take a sip of water. The goal is to avoid creating an automatic association between a particular food, texture, or flavor and gagging. Because our kid was older and there didn’t seem to be any more serious issues at play, our pediatrician also recommended sending her away from the table if she initiated hysterics.
We also did something that every feeding expert recommends against, which was to bribe her to eat a couple of bites of the offending foods. We offered her dessert if she was able to eat a very small portion of a food that she was refusing to eat. I talked her through the process of calmly taking a small bite, chewing it up, and swallowing, with deep breaths and drinks of water as necessary. The purpose was not to enforce our will upon her, but to demonstrate to her that she could, in fact, eat without gagging, even if she did not like the food. We only had to do this a couple of times and then the whole gagging phenomenon stopped. I think it only worked because she was older and the issue was a behavioral one, not a true feeding problem. Again, this strategy goes directly against all professional advice, but it worked for us and has not seemed to cause any permanent harm.
Pogo says
PSA: I have a couple of these skirts (Only Hearts Women’s Double Knit Knee Length Pencil Skirt – link to follow) that I bought at a local boutique and while they aren’t cheap, for ponte knit they hold up amazingly well and are perfect for in between stages of pregnancy (and I’d guess PP).
Since it’s stretchy I can easier wear it below my bump. Unless you’re crazy thin like the model I don’t think it looks good with a knit top tucked in, but with a sweater or untucked button down I feel put together!
Pogo says
https://www.amazon.com/Only-Hearts-Womens-Double-Length/dp/B005N4GKI4
Knope says
Tomorrow I’ll be 39 weeks pregnant with my first, and my assignments at work are really starting to dry up. People are hesitant to give me long-term projects for obvious reasons, and there’s only so much short-term stuff to do. I’m at a small law firm with not a ton of pressure to bill, so I’m not worried about that – I’m just bored. I have limited leave time, so I still have to come in every day, but I don’t have anything to do. I’m caught up on CLEs and have everything in order for the kid. Any other ideas about how to spend my time during the day? There’s only so much news I can catch up on!
Ai says
Make a photo album from the last year or last six months?
EBMom says
Yes, this! Make a little album for your baby. A picture of your house. A picture of your workplace building. A picture of your neighborhood street. A picture of your favorite place to go with DH (like a coffee shop). A little mini album of your life immediately before baby was born.
Anonymous says
My mother in law did this for my kids so that they would “know” out of town relatives. I thought it was a little passive aggressive at the time, but it really worked!! There are so many good photo book options out there, I would put together a picture book of family members. Babies love faces, so both of my kids latched on to the book really early.
NewMomAnon says
Is your office immaculate? When I left on maternity leave, my office was a disaster and guess what? Three years after returning to work, it’s still a disaster (and I have many of the same files in exactly the same places, but now with a layer of dust)! In retrospect, woulda been great to do a deep clean before I left.
Another thought: put together a marketing plan and tee up as much of it as you can before you go out on leave. As in, schedule lunches, schedule reminders for when you return, pre-draft inquiry e-mails and save to your drafts folder with reminders to send when you return, pre-draft presentation materials or articles for publication, register for conferences, etc.
If you have long-term projects or things that recur regularly, put together a memo to your postpartum self with due dates, action items, status of each project, key contacts, etc. Sleep deprivation really killed my memory postpartum, so things I would have easily remembered before pregnancy often slipped postpartum. A memo like that would have been so helpful.
Finally – are you in an office? Because seriously, close your door, put your head on your desk, and take a nap. Or read parenting books. Or download a million games and TED talks and podcasts for maternity leave. Or knit little baby booties or something.
anonymous says
+1 to the marketing stuff. If you actually want to do something work-related instead of taking a well-deserved break before baby arrives, that is.
If you don’t want to work on your own personal marketing plan, or aren’t in an outward sales-mode position yet, you could do something on behalf of your practice/office/firm. Do you have a marketing person at your firm? If so, ask him/her if you can help out in some way. Perhaps there’s a prospect research/targeting project of some sort that would be easy enough for you to take on over the span of a few days, and it might be interesting work too. Or do some more research on some of your key clients to brush up on their business and what opportunities might be coming down the pipeline. Or consider if there is some kind of article you could help research/write about a topic of interest to your client base.
anon says
I read books from my kindle account on Amazon’s website on my work computer during slow times. Or from the library using the Overdrive website.
bluefield says
I think one of my specialties is killing time at work. You could:
1. Get on twitter. If you think there’s only so much news to catch up on, you’re wrong, and twitter will show you that.
2. Pay $20 and get the NYT crossword puzzle subscription and do crosswords (do the daily one and then you can do an old one).
3. Read the New Yorker online (probably worth paying the $12 for a 12 week subscription or whatever the current deal is), or print out and read some long-form articles.
Anon says
Clean up e-mail – set up topics and rules, move substantive emails into hard drive folders, delete the stuff you’ll never need again.
Schedule dentist appointments, haircuts, other routine things for the next year.
Address baby announcement envelopes (if you’re planning to send them.)
anon says
along the same lines, set up subscription deliveries for diapers, paper products, nonperishable foods, etc. – anything you can do to automate life post baby will come in handy.
NewMomAnon says
Ooo, and set up autopay for any bill that isn’t already on autopay. We had a few months postpartum in which bills just didn’t get paid.
Anonymous says
Can you “work” from home and do stuff around the house?
Anonymous says
Do we absolutely have to get a little potty for potty training or does one of those inserts work?
Also, for those of you who followed Oh Crap, can we just spend the entire weekend outside with said little potty or do you think we need to keep things indoors and more normal? We have hardwoods and rugs, so I’d really love to just make this a fun outdoors day…
CHJ says
I think the potty/insert question totally depends on the kid, unfortunately! We have both, and my son wants absolutely nothing to do with the insert. His best friend is all about the insert and refuses to use the potty. If you have a strong preference for the insert, I would try that first and see if your child takes to it.
AEK says
My toddler prefers the insert. He feels more grown-up, I think. We got the Bemis Next-Step for home and the Bjorn insert for daycare.
Edna Mazur says
Insert didn’t work for my kid. We’re transitioning him to that. I was not going to use a little potty, really set against it. I gave in after about a week and a half and bought one. My kid needed the potty as a visual reminder so the little potty followed him around the house. He’ll do either now, but I recommend playing it by ear.
anon says
PSA – Target Ponte Blazers on clearance for $9!
http://www.target.com/p/women-s-ponte-blazer-black-l-merona/-/A-50221607
Lurker says
Thanks! Just ordered 2.
Anon in NYC says
Same!
LegalMomma says
Me too! Perfect timing as I’m returning to work next week. Thank you!
ANP says
Thank you!
What would you do? says
Totally non-kid related post (but it’s awkward to post on the main s!te at noon since that’s often when the post switches over).
I work at a non-profit that sometimes files amicus briefs. Most of the briefs are handled by a colleague but I handle a few that are in my particular niche. We often get outside firms to write these for us, but my colleague also has several junior attorneys under him to write in-house (junior as in 1-3 yrs out of school). Last year he had one of his interns, then a law student, help me with a brief. It was a frickin disaster. I had to re-write almost every sentence. The research was fine but kid cannot write. I was completely shocked when I found out my colleague had offered the intern a full time position after graduation. When the current case came in, my colleague said “hey Junior Attorney worked on this same issue for you last year — why not just have him write it?” Not fully recalling how horrific the brief last year was, I agreed. When I got the draft on Monday, I could barely get through it because it was so awful. Like written by a high school senior awful. Like using extremely imprecise and casual language awful. Like “these people have at least or even maybe more power than other people” is an actual phrase from an argument about a certain government office. I have an incredible research assistant who’s not a lawyer but has an MA and is going to law school in the fall. I gave him the brief to re-write and he turned out something gorgeous.
The kicker is that my colleague read the awful, awful draft, made two tiny edits, and handed it over to me. This is a guy who went to a top law school and worked at a top law firm. I mention that only because there is no way he has that background and could not see how bad this brief was. So either he didn’t really read it and doesn’t care about the quality (even though our organization’s reputation would be severely tarnished by having a brief like this filed in the Supreme Court) or, more likely, he saw it was terrible and figured I’d clean it up. That he didn’t even say to his subordinate “hey, this is not good” but just handed it off to me is what really gets me. He’s well-respected and has a certain amount of dorky celebrity and I feel like he thinks he’s above actually reviewing the work with his name on it.
I’m not sure what to do. I figure my options are: (1) say nothing unless and until I have to explain in the future why I don’t want to work with this particular junior attorney; (2) bring it up with my colleague as a sort of “hey, this was really awful and we over in our division had to put considerable resources into fixing it”; or (3) bring it up with the guy who sits below this colleague but above the junior people (and who, I understand, does the work of reviewing and fixing briefs when they’re the ones filing — I think my colleague figured I’d do that fixing instead, but that’s not my job and that guy is, frankly, not as high up in the organization as I am so I’m kind of insulted my colleague thought he could just dump that same work on me, when I should be his equal). No. 3 would just be to make sure people know the junior guy’s work is no good so he gets closer supervision. But it’s not a big team so they have to already know. I just don’t get how this guy has a job here.
Anonymous says
What about:
“I don’t know if you had an opportunity to review work completed by Junior Attorney re: File Name however, the materials provided were completely unsuitable for filing with the Court. I will not be using Junior Attorney on these matters in the future. You may wish to consider arranging for closer supervision of Junior Attorney’s work product.”
NewMomAnon says
I agree with the earlier poster – you should say something to the superior. You might also talk with the junior about ways to proofread better, resources for learning better writing, etc – make sure he knows that his writing needs improvement. Personally, I would hate to be the junior and not know that my work was so bad.
Although do consider this – I’ve found that lawyers who have personality issues with me tend to fall back on “NewMomAnon is a terrible writer!” as the their sole criticism. After several years of working with difficult personality types and getting the same feedback, I finally worked with a writing tutor and got my writing confidence back. Consider whether maybe you don’t like this person, and it’s easier to say his writing is bad than to say you don’t like him.
What would you do? says
Believe me, it’s the writing.
Anon says
I’d be mad too.
It sounds like you value precise, specific language. Use that skill with you colleague.
“The draft that New Attorney produced on this was completely unacceptable. My team had to spend __ hours rewriting it. Please talk to New Attorney or have him talk to me about our expectations on work quality. If you need more detail I’d be happy to discuss.”
Anonymous says
At my former BigLaw office, I worked with a very senior, extremely accomplished, decorated attorney. He was really well known for his “wins” with juries and bench trials, eloquent briefs, and superb witness handling. By the time I worked with him, I though he was….shockingly ill-prepared for court and disengaged from cases. I drafted briefs that he hardly touched (while other partners ripped my writing to shreds). I used to prepare his witness outlines, and he would read from them verbatim (if I had to guess, I’d say he read through them maybe once right before questioning the witness?). I was constantly shocked by how little oversight I had as a very, very junior attorney when I was staffed on his cases. He retired several years ago, and I wonder if he was just …. done. He had made his name in the field. The cases were important to our firm, but he just was not super invested in them. I think he knew that nothing catastrophic would happen if he let things slide, and he was just over it.
If that’s what is going on here, I doubt there is much you can do to really change it. I would keep your distance, and let the new attorney work with colleague without your involvement. There really isn’t a lot of positives to working with a half-engaged attorney, especially if it means your name will be on the line.
Another Atty Here says
Maybe. But maybe he was good at scouting out the associates that could turn out good work prodcut with minimal oversight? If your work product was stellar, this guy may have known that and just let you do your thing. Did he perform badly on cases, or did his methods work?
In my firm, I have a good niche and work with a lot of different attorneys. Our rainmakers are the ones that pick my work apart the least. I know I have a good reputation because I am the go-to person on several items for our biggest rainmakers. The attorneys that shred my work product do it because they seemingly have nothing better to do and want to churn hours or transform my writing style into theirs (while not touching items of substance). Clearly, that is not the case for OP, but I am just wondering if you should give yourself credit. The very senior, decorated attorney might just be a good talent scout and maybe he knew that he could save himself time by working with you.
Anonymous says
Your take definitely made my day – thank you!! With the benefit of hindsight, I think you are probably largely correct. There are some things I did that I still side-eye (sole prep for an expert witness deposition in a very technical field during my first year), but there is definitely some truth there.
Lorelai Gilmore says
This is so late that no one will read this, but I truly think that one of the greatest skills an actual trial lawyer has, as opposed to a “litigator,” is that a trial lawyer knows what matters and what doesn’t. A lot of what we do in litigation doesn’t persuade a jury. Trial lawyers, in my experience, have the judgment to know when to care and when not to. That’s how they stay sane!
Amelia Bedelia says
best scooter for an almost three year old (in July)? should I get the kind with two wheels in front and one in the back, or skip straight to the two wheeler? I’m just concerned the two-wheeler is too old for her.
Spirograph says
My 7-year old neighbors were having a great time zipping around on three wheel scooters (two wheels in back) last night, so I don’t think she’d necessarily out-grow a 3 wheel scooter any time soon. The two-wheeler is probably too old for her. My son is almost 4 and very coordinated/athletic, and last autumn he had a lot of trouble with the two-wheel scooter our friends handed down to us.
Amelia Bedelia says
thank you!
Kindergarten boy says
The 3 wheeler for sure – we have had the Kick Micro scooter for almost 5 years and it has literally been run over by a car (just the edge but still) it is going strong. Next door neighbors have same one even older and though it looks awful these are both the preferred scooters for all the kids even the 8 year olds who are too big for them!
Big reason is that they stand on their own. The 2-wheelers not only require more balance but also seem higher maintenance when you have to put them down gently and then pick them back up.
The one we have was one of the more expensive ones on the market when we bought but has been worth the cost. My almost 8-year-old has been proficient on a 2-wheel bike without training wheels since he was 4 but getting the hang of the 2 wheeled scooter was harder. And he stil prefers the 3 wheeler most of the time, I think due to laziness.
Amelia Bedelia says
thanks for the rec!
Anonymous says
Another vote for the Micro mini kick – they are small, lightweight, and still work for my almost 5 year old. I do know some 4- year olds with the regular micro kick (2 wheels), but I’d rather carry around the micro mini. FYI although it isn’t foldable you can detach the post very easily and carry it in 2 more compact pieces.
ANP says
One more Micro Mini lover here. I didn’t want to spend that much $$$ on a scooter but it’s more than worth its weight in gold! Lightweight, easy to ride, and I feel confident it’ll last for the next kid.
anon says
If you are in NYC, you can definitely get them used. We bought ours for $20-30 I think; people sometimes give them away. Definitely hand-me-down-worthy!
Rainbow Hair says
PSA!
Did you know kids can poison themselves with salt?
Daycare had salt out for tracing letters for the bigger kids (the room is 2-6 year olds, so the older kids were working on letters) and the younger kids, including my Kiddo, got into it and were eating a lot and then… blah blah blah vomiting and the ER all night long. Kiddo is fine, but poison control wanted her blood to get tested to make sure she wasn’t in a dangerous place with her sodium. I told daycare about it today, which felt awkward, but I gathered that at least a couple other kids were out with unexplained illnesses, so now they know.
Anon in NYC says
WOW. I did not know that.
Anon in NYC says
Also, I’m glad your daughter is okay!
Kindergarten boy says
GAH!! My kid has a weird fixation w salt and often tries to eat it by the spoonful. We always manage to take it away in time but…thanks for the PSA!!
(And so glad your kiddo is ok!)
HSAL says
Horrifying story, but last year a woman killed her baby by feeding it a teaspoon of salt. I don’t remember the details, but I think she was trying to get the baby ill for attention from the father? It was around the time we started Baby HSAL on solids and I was TERRIFIED of her getting too much sodium somehow.
Rainbow Hair says
Yes I saw that horrifying story while googling “salt poisoning toddler” :-( :-( :-(
Kindergarten boy paging Cb and other U.K. Ladies says
Cb and other ladies in the U.K. – I’m heading to England in mid- may for a wedding. Posted on the main s ite request for assistance with my outfit and would love your thoughts. Thank you!
GCA says
This is late, so it’s a note to myself to post in the morning, but consider checking out UK brands’ websites – Reiss, Coast, and Boden come to mind. They often have ‘wedding guest outfit’ sections that are pretty on target.
Cb says
I posted on the main site – had a spin through my wedding album and have thoughts. I’d second the recommendations for the sites above but also check out Monsoon.
Also, look at a wedding photographer in the area and stalk their instagram. Might give you an idea.
Anon says
Lawyer question…in house v. small firm for lifestyle? I have an amazing government job but at some point will need to leave in order to pay the bills, and honestly what I am looking for is good hours and flexibility. I know traditionally in house is the way to go for hours but was wondering whether a bank or fund (where I would probably end up if I went in house) might have more face time expectations than if I found myself at a smaller or mid-size firm where you have to hit your billables but nobody cares where you are when you hit them. I am at a sort of mid-career point so would probably go in to a firm at a counsel or partner level.
Thoughts?