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You’ll wear this walkable classic slide all spring and summer.
This sandal from Cole Haan has a square open toe, low block heel, and a rubber sole for traction. Wear this sandal all week — pair it with a fun suit for a more casual office look or a flowy dress for the weekend.
Make a statement with the pretty geranium suede option (pictured) or go with pebbled leather in versatile pecan or black.
This sandal is $105 (pecan, black) to $150 (geranium) at Nordstrom and comes in whole and half sizes 5–11.
Psst: Sandals aren’t appropriate for every office — know yours!
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Skylight calendar says
Anyone have the Skylight calendar? How do you like it? We have one kid who is 2 so we don’t have a ton of extracurriculars and sports to track, but it would be nice to have our shared calendar and shared to do list be more visible.
anon says
I don’t have that, but I’ll throw out another option for a digital calendar. We’ve used a shared Google calendar for probably a decade or more at this point. You can get an Amazon Echo Show and have your daily calendar show up on screen.
Now that our kids are older and we want them to “see” everything that’s going on, there is a magnetic marker board calendar on our fridge. Every week, we write down the week’s activities. I’m often surprised (and glad) that my kids will add their own to-dos, grocery list items, etc. I hope this is setting them up for good planning and organization in the future.
Anon says
We also love Google Calendar.
Fallen says
I have an almost 10 year old finishing 4th grade and she wants to walk home by herself. A lot of her friends do. Would you allow her? She’s responsible/looks both ways/etc. It’s an 8 minute walk and she would have two slightly bigger roads (but nothing super major) that have crosswalks. I am super nervous about it!
Cb says
I feel like this is reasonable. Are other families walking your way? Do you walk regularly so people know you/your kid? Maybe one of the smartwatches for extra reassurance?
My son is convinced he can walk to school when he’s 7 as one of his pals is 7 and walks in with a friend. I think we’ll start dropping him at the gates, the library, etc. and see how it goes. It’s a mile cycle, and there’s a big road without a crosswalk so I think we’d always meet him at the other side of the road and cross together.
AwayEmily says
I would given that she’s responsible. In my neighborhood kids start walking to school alone around 3rd grade. That’s when we are planning on letting ours. As a halfway measure, is there a neighborhood friend she could meet up with to go together?
Anon says
Yes I would. This seems like an appropriate level of independence and is great exercise.
(Back in my day, I walked to and from school from kindergarten on, with a friend and no adults!)
Boston Legal Eagle says
Totally reasonable. If it’s school hours, are there crossing guards at the crosswalks? I can’t think of anything safer to start practicing this.
And yes, also back in my day, I was walking home from school alone at that age, and even riding the subway by myself in 6th or 7th grade (city life so not suburbia but I’m very independent!)
Anonymous says
Yes of course. It’s a great age appropriate opportunity and how lucky you are to have a child who is ready for it and to have such a reasonable walk as an option. I’d go this weekend and walk it 20 yards behind her for practice and then let her fly free.
Anonymous says
I would. Our neighbors allow their 4th grader to escort his kindergartener brother home (our elementary school allows younger sibling to be released to 4th graders). I feel like if they can make it home safely, most kids can.
Mrs. Jones says
I would.
AIMS says
I did this at 10 (and younger) in NYC so yes. One thing that helped was my mom always talked to me about what to do if I get into any trouble – where to get help, who to go to, etc. You could also practice by letting her do it while you trail behind her at a fair distance.
Spirograph says
Yes. I let my 4th grader walk home from school occasionally. We live almost a mile from school so it’s about 15 min, no sidewalks in our neighborhood but it’s all super residential and only one main street to cross (no crossing guard). He usually walks most of the way with a friend or two. I was also a little nervous about it the first time or two, but he’s proven very responsible about it.
anon says
I 100% did this at 4th grade, very similar route – about 10 mins, partially along a “major suburban” road (the one the school itself was on until you got to my hood). I think this is a great way to foster some sense of independence.
anon says
This seems very reasonable to me, and a good chance for her to gain some independence.
anon says
I think it’s really important for kids to get practice doing things independently, especially when they ask for the opportunity.
One thing that gives me a lot of confidence in my child’s ability to walk on his own is that we walk together regularly. It’s given me plenty of opportunities to point out unusual things like what signals that a car might not stop at a stop sign and practice what to do when it looks like a driver may make a safety mistake.
It’s also given me plenty of opportunity to observe my child, who in the past has paid more attention to road safety on his own that when walking with a peer. Seeing that made me encourage walking on his own at first rather than with a buddy.
Anon says
Seems very reasonable to me. Our public schools don’t allow kids to walk solo until 4th grade, otherwise I would have allowed it even younger.
Anonymous says
Yes. My 9.5 year old 3rd grader could absolutely do this. We have one major, nasty crossing near us with no crossing guard and people always blow right through it. That one would make me nervous but what you describe sounds fine. Plus, if she’s walking home from school she’s probably among a trickle of other kids going in the same direction.
Anon says
Another yes vote. Our district lets students walk home (from either school or bus stops) starting in 2nd grade and I’m so excited for when my 6yos get to that point.
Anon says
Yes.
Anonymous says
Absolutely!!!! The only reason we are not letting 8 year old 2nd grader do this is a dangerous street crossing. He’s allowed out and about in the neighborhood. If you don’t have an intersection that’s particularly worrisome and not a particularly dangerous neighborhood I don’t think this should even be a question.
Anone says
any destinations in this hemisphere that would be good for a 3 to 4 week stay with kids ages 5 and 7? looking for reasonably priced with kid activities/camp options. the Colorado towns like Breck and vail come to mind but we’ve already done that. thanks!
Anonymous says
Toronto area (not right in city is more reasonably priced). US Dollar is pretty good vs Canadian right now which helps with cost. Ripley’s Aquarium, Zoo, Toronto Islands and easy weekend trips to Montreal, Thousand Islands provincial park or Niagara Falls.
NOVA Anon says
We had fun at Smugglers Notch last summer in Vermont; it fits that description.
Anonymous says
That’s a long stay! What are you goals? I’d go to Argentina or Colombia and travel around, but do you just want to stay put? Prince Edward Island is lovely in summer and might have local camps.
Cb says
We’re doing something similar in Lisbon and what I found in my research is that international schools often run summer day camps.
OP says
Lisbon is actually top of my list, but I’m not sure if we can make the time zone differences work for my husbands work schedule, which is why I was going to try it with this hemisphere. He’d have to work 3 pm to 11 pm Lisbon time probably to catch his US colleagues and I’m not sure if that would be doable for so long, maybe it’s okay.. i’ll look into international schools there if he is open to it, thank you!!
To answer someones question earlier, I just want to expose my kids to different parts of the world/country and show them (and us) how life can be. i’m hoping itll make all of us more adaptable.
Anonymous says
I love that as a goal but would not do Europe then I agree the schedule is brutal. Costa Rica is really good for this. Open and accessible and has kids camps and still is very different.
OP says
Thank you! I briefly looked at costa rica, but couldnt find any kids camps or places that seemed like they weren’t super rural. Do you know of anything in particular in costa rica I shoudl look at?
Anonymous says
Santa Teresa is where my bestie goes and she’s always been able to google day camp and find things.
HSAL says
Northern or western hemisphere? Or both? Is this for summer?
OP says
Yes for summer. I’d be open to western hemisphere, main concern is that work schedule would be super off and might not be enjoable for my husband. I also dont know if our kids day camps etc. are a thing in south america/central america etc. The kids dont have to go to camp every day, but it would be nice to have some activities where they can meet local kids etc.
Anon says
Have you considered Maine?
OP says
No, but I’d love to! Are there specific areas I should look at? Is there a walkable downtown at Bar Harbor/Acadia?
Anon says
There is, it’s cute. You might be able to check it out via google maps street view. Only problem is potential availability for this summer since it’s not huge.
Anon says
That part of Maine is a good suggestion (we have a family home and go every summer) but camp availability is very limited and all sold out for this summer.
I would not really describe Bar Harbor as having a walkable downtown, at least not like a real city does. There are 5ish streets filled with restaurants and shops, and some hotels on or right near those streets, so you won’t need to get in the car every time you want to eat, but that’s about it. But you’ll definitely need a car for the duration of your stay so you can take kids to camps or activities and so you can see stuff on weekends.
anon says
The great lakes – beautiful in summer. For Michigan, look at Traverse City, Charlevoix, and Lexington (Black River Farm and Ranch, Camp Cavell used to have family camps options, etc.).
Anon says
Would not recommend Traverse City. We stayed there a couple summers ago and found the restaurants and scenery really underwhelming. The area is also intensely conservative and we got harassed for wearing masks (this was summer 2020 when mask wearing was still very common – in fact Michigan had a mask mandate at the time). We live in a red state (albeit blue school district in purple city) and it was still really jarring to us how much Trump support and anti-mask sentiment we witnessed.
Anonymous says
I was also disappointed in Traverse City. It’s too built up to have a real vacation feel, and the waterfront hotels are quite expensive.
AwayEmily says
What about looking for camps first and then picking the location based on that? Is there a particular kind of camp you think would be especially fun for them? (personally I want to send my kids to one of those life skills camps someday so they learn plumbing and stuff, but yours are probably too young for that)
Anon says
+1 camps are going to be in the limiting factor, especially in April. Find the camp first.
Momofthree says
Minnesota/Minneapolis would be awesome in the summer- staying around Lake of the Isles would give you walkable options & tons of biking options. You could also do Duluth if you wanted something a bit farther away. There are a variety of summer camps including sailing, YMCA, etc. Science Museum, Children’s Museum, Walker Art Museum- lots of activities. b
Anon says
I attended many summer camps at the Science Museum and highly recommend them (and MN in the summer in general, especially if you can stay through the state fair in August! In Saint Paul, if you stayed in the Macalester neighborhood you would have easy walking to the shops and college campuses/ green space along Summit, and down to the Mississippi. (This was my childhood, and it was truly idyllic.)
Anonymous says
I would go to the Berkshires and have them do horseback riding lessons or something like that.
snarkclerk says
16 days until I start my maternity leave and I CANNOT wait. I will be taking a long leave (2 years) and are generally undecided if I will return to this job or look for something else so it is hard to keep the motivation up.
I am looking forward to all the nesting and baby prep so tell me: What is the best baby prep? I am guessing meal prep? Anything else I should do?
AIMS says
YMMV, but I didn’t do meal prep. Babies sleep a lot and when I only had one it wasn’t really hard to cook (I cooked way more actually than normal) and I also never wanted to eat frozen things much – the food that would have been useful was stuff that tends to be better freshly made like muffins or veggie empanadas or whatever else you can eat one handed.
I think you can sort all the baby clothes, wash everything (clothes, swaddles, sanitize bottles and pacifiers, etc.), get lots of wash clothes and wash them, prep your hospital bag, organize your clothes for what you will need early on, get some books for yourself, get one of those diaper caddy things and stuff it with all the essentials you’ll need…
Emma says
YMMV but my newborn would only sleep on me and I was in no shape to cook for the first 2 weeks. So I would recommend some amount of frozen lasagna/soup but also some easy snacks like crackers, dried fruit and nuts – breastfeeding made me insanely hungry. I was also so grateful for anyone who brought me a latte and a muffin or a big fancy salad (and then offered to hold the baby so I could actually eat).
Anon says
I didn’t meal prep either. My husband has always done most of the cooking, but it wouldn’t have been hard to cook if I’d needed to. My mom was here for the first two weeks and by the time she left I was fully recovered, in a routine with nursing, etc.
Anonymous says
Omg. Two years?
Anon says
Wow, a true leave like with continued pay/benefits?? Amazing!
TheElms says
I found the initial period (like the first 2-4 weeks really hard) with my first. Silly things, especially the first few days we were home after I had a c-section, I would have done differently. We didn’t have a changing table on each floor initially because I didn’t think it would be necessary, so we ended up ordering and assembling a changing table when I was about 5 days postpartum. I hadn’t taken the diapers out of the boxes or the plastic seal off the diaper rash cream (because that also didn’t seem that hard pre-baby) so the first time I had to change my baby it took what felt like ages to open the boxes, open the diaper packages, open the diaper rash cream, before I could actually change the baby. I’m sure it was exacerbated by the c-section.
So the baby prep I recommend is to spend some time thinking of some contingency plans. Stuff like, if you plan to try breastfeeding, do you have the number of a lactation consultant? Do they make house calls? Where are they located and what are their hours. Do you have the number of a postpartum doula or good friend who can just come if you need some help you didn’t expect? Write it all down somewhere and tell your partner about it. If you don’t need any of it that’s great, but if you do it will be sooo helpful (or would have been to me).
Emma says
Definitely have a changing setup on each floor. We don’t have a full changing table on our ground floor, but we have a diaper pad on a side table and it was in heavy use in the early days.
strollerstrike says
TW: Weight discussion
Baby is measuring small at her 29 week scan today (11th percentile for weight and abdominal circumference) and I have generally not gained much weight this pregnancy (8 lbs with a starting weight of 119 lbs, 5’7″).
Doc seemed a little concerned and wants to see me again in two weeks to see if weight gain improves.
I have always been slim and eat my normal diet plus pregnancy craving late night snacks. No working out due to low placenta and a history of bleeding in early pregnancy.
Any experience or advice to gain more weight? Also positive stories about babies measuring small would be appreciated.
Anonymous says
Your starting weight wasn’t “slim” it was one pound away from underweight. So your normal diet is probably just not enough food. Starting today you need to eat more. Switch to full fat dairy in any beverages. Eat eggs and bacon on a roll for breakfast. Have a full day yogurt snack. Add avocado to everything. Eat peanut butter on toast at 3pm. Have a bowl of ice cream at night. Put a bowl of nuts next to you.
Anonymous says
+1 Ice cream and peanut butter will do the trick!
Cerulean says
I fit the same height/weight profile as OP almost to the pound and I eat a lot (when I’ve tracked calories I easily hit 2500+ per day and while I’m on my feet a good bit at work, I don’t work out that often. I’ve just always had a hearty appetite with a fast metabolism). I also gained a lower amount of weight during pregnancy and went in for extra scans, but my baby was 7 pounds and 20 inches at birth. Some people really are built this way and carry their pregnancies differently, so I don’t think it’s reasonable to assume she’s undereating and telling her she “needs” to eat more, since you don’t know what her diet is like and you aren’t her medical provider. Maybe she does need a dietary shift, but you don’t have enough information to know that.
OP, I’m sure this is stressful for you! I would ask your doctor what their concerns are specifically about a lower birth rate. While the 11th percentile is on the low-ish end, it’s not super low, and I seem to recall my doctor saying she was more concerned about a change in the percentile over time, rather than hitting a particular percentile.
Anonymous says
Her medical provider literally told her “I’m concerned” and she asked for advice.
Cerulean says
Yes, so the doctor told her to come in in two weeks for monitoring. That doesn’t mean that there is a problem, just that the percentile *can* be an indicator of an issue, so they keep a closer eye on things, not that there definitely*is* an underlying issue to fix.
I’m not trying to be combative and I sincerely appreciate that your advice is coming from a place of concern, but I had almost the exact experience OP did during pregnancy and your advice (getting so specific as saying that “starting today you need to eat more”) would have been wrong.
Anonymous says
If you don’t want internet advice don’t ask for it. This is a problem and there’s a solution it is eating more.
Cerulean says
All I’m saying is that it’s not always a problem and she should follow the guidance of her doctor. This shouldn’t be controversial.
busybee says
This! OP, I’m naturally slightly underweight and that seems to be something that triggers a lot of judgment in a lot of people. Not to mention, the bossy advice given by anon at 10:00 is actually incorrect. Although high fat foods provide more calories per gram, they are also more satiating and will make you LESS hungry, so you actually end up eating less. Eating “empty” carbs will increase calories without making you feel full, so it’s actually easier to eat more calories when you’re having things like chips and cereal. People tend to eat more calories on a carb-heavy diet.
Someone has to be in the 11th percentile, just like someone has to be in the 99th! It doesn’t mean anything is wrong necessarily. Ask your doctor if they have particular concerns about the “small” baby. I’m 5’2 and 100 pounds; I’m probably in the 11th percentile or below too! Also, ultrasounds become less accurate later in pregnancy because the sound waves can’t bounce as much when the baby starts to take up more space. My later scans predicted an 8 pound baby, kiddo was 6 pounds 14 ounces.
Anonymous says
Congrats. Sorry I tried to help someone asking for help because her doctor seemed concerned because she’s dramatically outside the norm.
Cerulean says
Roughly 1/10 pregnancies measuring this size isn’t dramatically outside the norm.
busybee says
Anon at 10:37, I am going to assume best intentions that you are genuinely congratulating me on my healthy baby rather than being sarcastic, so thank you!
AIMS says
I didn’t gain much weight, esp. in my first pregnancy and esp. early on, and my kids were both fine. I think for the first I gained about 20 lbs and maybe even a bit less considering that I started the pregnancy by losing about 4 lbs (so actual gain was about 16 lbs.) – my daughter was 7+ lbs and fine. I gained slightly more with no 2. and he ended up being huge, but they didn’t know how big until he came out because the scans had him measuring as about average. None of this is an exact science.
Anonymous says
You should be gaining in the 25-40 range. To be very blunt you are under feeding yourself and your growing child.
Anonymous says
I think women have a lot less control over their pregnancy weight gain than most people believe. Some people eat a ton and don’t gain 25 pounds; others watch every bite and gain 40 pounds.
Anon says
I was nowhere near as skinny as OP pre-pregnancy (I looked slender but I was in the middle of the healthy weight BMI range) and my baby was measuring normally, but I only gained about 15 pounds while pregnant. And I had a pretty big baby – almost 9 lbs. I left the hospital weighing less than I did pre-preg (though of course not the same shape), because it really was all baby and fluid.
The 25 pound thing weight gain is just a guideline that many people don’t hit exactly, and my doctor said they generally prefer women to gain less than more because so many people gain too much. She was also adamant that I not gain weight by adding junk calories like ice cream, and said she’d rather I gain less than start eating junk. I understand why OP’s doctor is concerned but it’s not some blanket rule that you HAVE to gain at least 25 pounds if you’re healthy BMI.
FVNC says
This seems fear-mongering. Maybe guidance has changed (my youngest is 6) but I didn’t gain 25 lbs with either pregnancy (more like 15-20). I’m small but well within a normal bmi, not underweight.
OP, doctors were concerned that my first was measuring too small. Ultimately, it meant that I was monitored every 2 weeks with ultrasounds, and doctors induced at 37 weeks due to fears of “restricted growth.” In retrospect, I really should have pushed back against that early induction date and I have a lot of unresolved guilt about her whole birth situation (this is personal to *me*). Bottom line – there was no restricted growth. She was a small baby. I’m small. My husband is not huge. We have people on both sides of our families who are barely 5′ tall. Some babies have to be small! Listen to your doctors but if baby is moving fine and continuing to grow at his/her own pace, there’s likely nothing to worry about. Best wishes to you for a continued healthy pregnancy.
TheElms says
I think what works person to person in terms of weight gain varies. But there are two ways to think about it — (1) making what you are currently eating a little more nutrient and calorie dense and (2) adding an extra snack or meal. On (1) that means making sure you are opting for the full fat option if there is one. So if you normally have milk in coffee (if you are drinking coffee I know some folks give it up) make sure its whole milk or half and half. If you are making smoothies with yogurt make sure they are made with full fat yogurt. And it could mean making things more nutrient dense so adding peanut butter to an afternoon snack of an apple or adding a piece of cheese. You can also sneak in a few more calories by adding olive oil or butter to pasta. You don’t have to radically change what you are eating but just look for a few opportunities each day to add calories and hopefully over the course of the day its adds up to an extra 200-300 calories. On (2) is there any time of the day you feel hungry that you could add a small snack? I’m thinking something like a Kind bar mid morning or mid afternoon. Definitely indulge the late night snack. If it were me that snack would probably be full fat ice cream or cheese.
You’re doing a great job. Listen to your doctor, but also know some babies are just on the smaller end (just like some are on the bigger end). If you and your partner are naturally slim people your baby may just take after you.
anon says
+1. You may not need to eat drastically more, but I would focus on nutrient density and making sure you’re getting enough fat and protein. It’s a little concerning, given your very low starting weight.
Anonymous says
OMG that is not a very low starting weight. It’s just on the smaller end. Please stop with the thin-shaming.
GCA says
This. And also, consider working with a registered dietician familiar with pregnancy, who can help you understand if your day-to-day diet is meeting your nutritional needs. See the doctor again in a couple of weeks. Pregnancy weight gain isn’t always linear, some people gain more in the last trimester, some people gain more in the 2nd.
Anon says
If you don’t feel like eating more, you might look into protein shakes. There are pregnancy specific ones like Baby Booster, but regular ones are fine. You can also add fat to your meals – add cheese, a little half and half, bacon, etc.
anon says
I’m curious what your regular diet looks like. Eight pounds by 29 weeks is not very much, and my concern is that you’re not eating enough, or aren’t getting enough fat in your diet.
Anonymous says
My doctor friend who wasn’t gaining enough weight in her first pregnancy started going to McDonalds multiple times a week. She had no medical issues (such as cholesterol) preventing her from increasing the fat in her diet. Baby is now a healthy tween.
Anon says
Obviously should should rely on medical advice here, but it sounds like you need to make a deliberate effort to not just to eat your normal diet but actively try to nourish yourself and your baby. I’d be thinking of healthy fats like salmon, avocado and nut butters. I’d make sure I was eating at least three hearty meals plus mid-morning and mid-afternoon snacks.
Have you suffered badly with morning sickness?
AwayEmily says
Two pieces of good news: first, they caught this early and second, it’s in your control! You still have plenty of time to up your weight gain. My friend (who is a doctor) who had this issue with her first drank a lot of milkshakes, and that helped. Almost certainly everything will be fine regardless, but being underweight is a lot more concerning than being overweight during pregnancy in terms of potential complications for baby, and it’s definitely worth taking action.
Anon says
Posted below but my doctor recommended milkshakes too! Was an easy way to add calories.
Anonymous says
I started pregnancy at almost exactly your size. My doctor told me I should aim to gain 18-22 lbs, which seemed crazy because the CDC guidelines put me right on the border between 25-35 lbs. and 28-40 lbs. I had hyperemesis and ended up gaining 18 lbs total. The baby measured small for dates at one point. She was born a week early at over 8 lbs and perfectly healthy. Two weeks after delivery I was 5 lbs lighter than my pre-pregnancy weight, but I gained those 5 lbs back over the next few months. The baby will take what it needs, at your expense.
anon says
So your doctor should have provided info on calorie needs at this point in pregnancy. While you don’t need to eat more than normal in the first trimester, you absolutely do in the second and third. I don’t remember the amounts but you can look them up online – you’ll need to make a point of adding healthy calories in specified amounts to make sure you’re getting enough.
I was under an enormous amount of stress during my pregnancy (it was early 2020 and I’m an exec in the air travel industry so it was a bad time) and wasn’t gaining weight for a while because I don’t eat when I’m stressed. I just had to get mathematical about calorie consumption and things got back on track.
Anonymous says
Are you eating whenever you’re hungry? Or trying to be careful because you’re not working out, and you don’t wait to gain a lot? You need to be honest with yourself and prioritize your baby’s health. You also need to make changes ASAP, because it’s pretty common to have a lower appetite due to discomfort toward the end of pregnancy. You don’t really have 11 weeks left; you have more like 7-8 in which you can make a difference.
If I were you, I would add snacks during the morning and afternoon, and increase your portions at dinner.
Anon says
+1 to your first two sentences.
Deedee says
I’m 35 weeks now and started off slim as well (not as slim as you–more like 135 at 5’8″). I didn’t gain anything until 20 weeks and put on everything I’ve gained since that time. I think that’s a not uncommon path for women in their first pregnancy. I am a *bit* surprised at how little you’ve gained given that you started so slim. Most women I know who gained so little by the end of the second tri started off “overweight.”
How is your appetite? You need to eat about 200-300 extra calories per day in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters, so I would focus on doing that relative to your pre-pregnancy diet and let the weight fall where it may unless your doctor advises otherwise. Now that I’m 9 months pg, my appetite is falling off due to heartburn and baby crowding my stomach, so you may want to take advantage of eating a bit more while you can. Small meals and eating more of my calories earlier in the day has been helping me.
I do want to say that 11th %ile is not in and of itself concerning! It is equally as good as 89th percentile–that’s how percentiles work. I believe most doctors are only concerned if baby is well under 10th %ile and/or falling down in measurements from week to week.
Anon says
My doctor told me to have a daily milkshake at one point when I was in this scenario. And I did! Do that.
lawyermom says
I had this same issue. Please go ahead and demand a referral to the specialist at Maternal Fetal Medicine. My OBGYN was very concerned about my lack of gaining weight (15 pounds the entire pregnancy) and I was a health weight to begin with. They made me feel awful and told me i was measuring small. My sister is an MD and she told me to demand a referral, which they were hesitate to give me. I got the referral and essentially the MFM said it was a non-issue and I was healthy and baby was healthy and to throw away scales and measurements with the tape measure. Said they are horribly outdated and were done before ultrasounds were available. Said healthy diet is the only thing to aim for and don’t worry about how much weight is gained/not gained by the mother as long as diet is balanced and healthy and portion control is correct.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Hi – Lots of advice here, so I won’t repeat, but some anecdata.
I’ve had two small-ish babies – one wasn’t born small but gained weight slowly (and then quickly chunked up around 10-11 months) – my ped at the time was never worried and just focused on overall gain. Small babies are also common in some ethnic backgrounds like mine – I had a colleague in the UK tell me they actually have specialists to monitor Asian babies and this is a known factor.
DS #2 was born at 38 weeks and was 5 lbs, 4 oz. Despite him consistently gaining weight it wasn’t “fast enough” for our ped at the time (different ped than we had with DS #1 – and we’ve since switched from her) and he was always in the 3rd percentile or less on weight (and fine on height). She pressured me (and I listened in my pp haze) to supplement with extra thick formula after nursing. He spit up most of it. Today he’s 2 years old, and at last check was 81st in height, and 31st in weight.
Also I had a friend who has had two babies – one was measuring normal, but 5 lbs and change at birth (not a preemie, no complications). Her second was always “measuring small” but then came out bigger than the older sibling at a whopping…6 lbs.
Also, with both babies, my body held on to every single ounce of fat until I weaned. Neat. So I was the big lady with small babies ;)
strollerstrike says
Thank you for your anecdata! My husband is actually Asian so I might look into how that could impact baby’s growth.
Anon says
i would agree you were pretty thin to begin with, and my mom wasn’t quite as thin when she was pregnant with me, but she vomited multiple times a day, every day for her entire pregnancy. she lost a lot of weight her first trimester and gained that back, but her entire net weight gain was less than 10lbs. my dad jokingly said that he was hoping i’d have 10 fingers and 10 toes because he wasnt even sure she’d ever managed to keep down a prenatal vitamin. i was and continue to be totally healthy. are you not gaining bc you aren’t eating enough or are you nauseous? i have a HUGE sweet tooth but couldnt handle sweets in my pregnancy, but peanut butter can help gain weight
strollerstrike says
OP here – thank you everyone for your replies. I will look into introducing some extra snacks like milkshakes or ice cream. From week 20 to 25 I had insane cravings for chocolate cream puddings, so I ate one every night, maybe it is time to start that back up again. Otherwise my diet is healthy but definitely not restrictive. Today as a sample day was oatmeal with fruit and nut butter for breakfast, banana bread with peanut butter as snack, pasta with leek and white beans for lunch, yoghurt drink and mango as a snack and black bean burger with curly fries for dinner. Chocolate easter egg for desert (I am in Europe, so we are past dinner time right now).
I have just always been slim and eat what I feel like which has served me well up until now.
Switching School says
Parents who have moved your kids from a small private school to public— any words of wisdom / recommendations / things to expect? (1) Social. I know my shy 4th grader will have some trouble making friends. (2) Academics. There is no screening test to determine her academic level. Should I ask our outgoing teacher to submit an evaluation or something? (3) Homework. We’ve never done it! (4) A million small and big things I’m sure… security, lunch lines, clubs, PTA…
Anonymous says
It’s 4th grade why would there be an academic screening test? Present it as a fun exciting non optional change and try to not stress. You don’t need to prep a kid for lunch lines they aren’t hard you don’t need to research the PTA. Homework gets done after school. It will be ok.
Anonymous says
In public elementary school there is mostly no such thing as “academic level.” If she is gifted, you will need to have her assessed by the school district for eligibility, so find out what the timeframe for referrals is. If you miss it, you will have to wait until the next cycle, which may be the following year. Otherwise, there will be little to no differentiation. Reading groups are typically assigned on an annual basis by the classroom teacher. It’s worth contacting the principal to find out whether there are any accelerated programs (e.g., math) that require state testing for eligibility, but that’s not likely.
Anonymous says
Don’t overthink it. Every new school year is different and you’ll get into the swing of things just like everyone else. We were in a small private school for covid and the kids went back to public school this year. The oldest had been in public school before the world shut down and picked right back up with previous friends. The younger ones adapted very well and very quickly. Presumably your daughter has some friends from your neighborhood who might be in the same school?
Are you switching schools mid-year or thinking ahead to next school year? You know your kid best, but I wouldn’t assume she’ll have trouble making friends. At least in our elementary school, they assign some friendly kids to be welcomers for mid-year new students, and help them get settled in new routines and with the new community. At the beginning of the year, there’s all the remixing of new classes sand your daughter will find her place. Also, it’s worth considering whether what you perceive as shyness or difficulty making friends might be due to the “small pond” of the private school. There are lots of great things about private school, but the social environment at the public school has been much, much better for my “shy” kid, just because there are more kids around and more chances to find ones that click.
And yes, no academic levels in 4th grade. There maaaay be stratification in math and reading, but IME they don’t determine that from formal testing, more teach observation at the beginning of the year. Unless you want her to be identified as Gifted and put into a G&T program, in which case you’ll need to request out of band testing. I believe most public schools test in 2nd grade and again in 5th.
anon says
Yes to everything in your third paragraph. There is some differentiation in 4th grade, but they don’t make that determination on the first day. And I also don’t think it’s unusual for teachers to shuffle kids around if it’s clear they need to be grouped differently.
anon says
1) I’m not sure what this has to do with public vs. private schooling.
2) I would trust the new teacher to be able to accurately gauge where your daughter is at within a month or two of starting school. Asking the current teacher to submit an evaluation seems very extra to me. What do you want them to do with that information?
3) Homework. This varies by district, but I have never found homework to be that onerous in elementary school. In fact, if it’s taking an unreasonably long time, the teacher wants to know that so that adjustments can be made. The teacher will let you know what the expectations are for frequency, how to turn it in, and how long it should take.
4) Most of this stuff is not a big deal. As far as the PTA goes, you can be involved as little or as much as you want. Sign up for the email newsletters and go from there. Club information will likely be distributed via the school newsletter. If there are other special opportunities, they will find you, I promise.
Anonymous says
Here are my thoughts. 1) You do not know for a fact that she will have a hard time. You should act with the confidence that because she is a fantastic human being, she will find her tribe. 2) Not unless you live in Texas and want her in the GT program (which IMHO is a total waste of time). It is her incoming teacher’s job to evaluate her progress. 3) I would attend “meet the teacher” and ask. In our district homework is very optional, even in 4th grade. 4) I have learned so much from picking my kid up from school and then hanging around other moms at the park. I’ve learned which teachers are good (and bad), what school lunch is like, which clubs are useful, and been told about some great summer program options. If hanging out after school is not an option, I’d ask neighbors who send their kids to public for a lunch or a coffee date to pick their brains.
anon says
I suspect optional homework in 4th grade is the exception, not the norm, but now I’m curious! In my district mandatory homework starts in K.
Anon says
Our school starts in K as well (our family opts out though), but I’ve heard of quite a few school districts where there is no homework at all in elementary school, which usually goes through at least 5th grade.
EDAnon says
Ours doesn’t do homework until 3rd grade except for a few asynchronous learning days due to snow (and it’s pretty lax).
anon says
Elementary homework is all optional at our public school. I would fight it if there was MANDATORY homework in K, that is absurd. Yes, this is my soapbox. By the time we get 3 kids home, fed, snuggled, played with and washed up the last thing we have the bandwidth for is worksheets.
My K does her homework if she wants to at breakfast in the morning. I offer if we have time and leave it at that.
This is my soapbox and I would push back vehemently if my K had mandatory homework. Outrageous. What is the punishment? Do you fail K?
FVNC says
When our family relocated last summer, my daughter moved from a small private school to our local public school. I was nervous about it, because she loved her school and had a sweet, quirky little friend group that I didn’t think would be easily replicated. My thoughts…
(1) Social. Not an issue. Daughter made a new group of friends, and seems very happy. My daughter has some challenges that made me think she might not fit in (speech challenges, bookworm personality) but she found her crew. Yours will too.
(2) Academics. Does the public school have differentiation in 4th grade? Our district does, and we had our daughter independently assessed since her private school did not do any assessments. It was about $500, administered by a child psychologist. Daughter is in our district’s advanced program (we can debate the pros and cons of differentiation but so far her experience has been good and she’s learning a ton).
(3) Homework. Yeah, homework increases in 4th grade. You just have to adjust to the new routine. My daughter has weekly reading and math goals, as well as an optional math study guide every week. Sometimes there are specfiic nightly assignments, but they’re rare.
(4) Other stuff. It’s a new school so there will be lots to learn. My kids ride the bus for the first time and love it. They tried buying lunch and didn’t like it, so we pack lunches like we’ve always done. No security. PTA is far less intrusive than the fundraising at the private school. Don’t love the larger class sizes, but it is what it is.
Anonymous says
A lot depends on your child. I made that switch in third grade and tbh, it was extremely hard. But I switched back to a different small private school in10th, and that was also very hard, so I think the common denominator was me. In elementary particularly early elementary, I would try to help the kids meet a few kids ahead of time if you possibly can. Knowing your kid, though; a social butterfly may not need it but a painfully shy kid like me could really have used it.
Anonymous says
Taking a 4 year old to a day time outdoor music festival — yay or nay? I’m leaning no but wanted to hear ya’ll’s opinions. Thanks!
Anonymous says
Team yay. I would not take a 4 year old to ACL but I would take a 4 year old to Old Settler’s. Hope that’s helpful. Make sure there’s shade, you’re allowed to bring water, and you’re ok with leaving early and everybody should have a really good time.
ElisaR says
we did this last summer. it was fun. go in with low expectations. i carried him a lot. we didn’t last all day.
Anonymous says
This is a know your kid situation. My kids both didn’t like loud noises/music at that age. I’d bring noise canceling headphones (like for mowing the lawn, they make them kid sized). My kids are also not thrilled with crowds (they quickly couldn’t see because they’re short). So perhaps your kid wants to not be in the throng of people, but more in the back or on a side. Also, when they get bored they get hungry, so plan more food than you think you need. And find shade.
I’ll take them to festivals for a couple hours, but then move along.
Anonymous says
My two year old twins won’t start swim lessons until June. Think it’s ok to buy them puddle jumpers to use in our personal pool until then? I wouldn’t let them both get in at the same time unless there’s another adult with me to supervise.
Anon says
I think this group is pretty anti-puddle jumper but we’ve gotten a lot of use out of them so I would say go for it. Even starting swim lessons this summer, it’s going to be a long time before they’re safe to be in the water without an adult and I don’t see a puddle jumper as a big impediment to that.
Anon says
We got a ton of use from our puddle jumpers and neither kid thought they could swim without them. We do not have a pool though.
anon says
No, but I don’t think puddle jumpers are ever ok, especially when you have a pool. I have heard with my own ears a 4 year old proudly saying he can swim! Simply because he can float with them on. It gives them a false sense of security and they don’t understand the distinction of what they can do with them on vs. off. FYI your twins will not be able to swim by the end of the summer no matter how many swimming lessons they have. It will be 2-3 years
ifiknew says
This is not true and really depends on the type of lessons. We had someone come to the house daily for two weeks and my 3 year old who wouldnt even get his feet wet was swimming with (poor technique) across my pool and knew how to reach the edge. We swam every day last summer and I have no concerns about either of my kids after lessons. Agree with your statement though if its a once a week swim school
ifiknew says
I think they can both swim with you with puddle jumpers when you’re the only one in with them and its not liek a party situation where you are distracted. The danger with the puddle jumpers is when kids take them on and off and then think they still have them on and have no fear when they get back in. Id set some strict rules around taking them off, but at 2 its unlikely they can unbuckle by themselves anyway. Our swim teacher was strict about no more puddle jumpers once we started our daily lessons, but if theyre going to a once a week swim school, its going to take them a logn time to learn how to swim comfortably anyway so I think its fine to use puddle jumpers
Anonymous says
agree. Mine can all swim now but the best lesson was actually when my littlest jumped in without her PJ on. I was right there and scooped her up but it freaked her out and she was militant about it after that.
Anonymous says
I am in favor of Coast Guard-approved flotation devices around pools at all time until kids are truly water-safe, as in able to swim the full length of a pool and tread water for a few minutes, which doesn’t happen below about age 5 and can happen much later. They have to understand that if they take the puddle jumper off then pool time immediately ends.
Anon says
I had kids who could swim pretty early, but were short and couldn’t touch in the shallow end until well after age 5. They liked PJs because they could float without having to constantly tread water. (Their peers were able to stand by that point.)
Usually, my kids would swim for a half hour without a PJ, then put one on to play. Sometimes it would come off again for diving or rings, but it was nice to have. I don’t think it hurt their ability to learn to swim.
anonM says
Neither of mine really liked puddle jumpers, so maybe start with actual life jackets and if they won’t wear those try the jumpers. Also, just a heads up – at that age, my DS often would just refuse to wear either a LJ or PJ and it didn’t matter to him if that meant he was not allowed near the river/pool/lake whatever. In retrospect, I could have saved some money and stress by just accepting that and letting him have the consequence instead of buying all these different floatation devices beyond the actual life jacket. Of course very kid dependent but just wish someone had told me that lol.
FVNC says
I know some people really don’t like puddle jumpers, but we used them constantly when kids were like 2-4 yrs old. An adult was always in the pool with them, physically holding them so there was no risk of drowning. Kids were never, ever left unattended (so like, they couldn’t take off the puddle jumpers and get back in the pool thinking they could swim). Both my kids are adequate swimmers now, so the puddle jumpers didn’t somehow impede their ability to learn (I’ve seen people claim that, not here I don’t think).
anon says
Yes or regular life jackets. Our puddle jumpers have a 30lb minimum so they may not fit your kiddos.
ElisaR says
we did this last summer. it was fun. go in with low expectations. i carried him a lot. we didn’t last all day.
DLC says
Now that Spring Break is in the rear view mirror, I was wondering if folks wanted to share the travel adventures they had as inspiration for future travels? I’ll post ours below.
Anon says
I took my 5 year old to Seville and Portugal’s Algarve Coast in mid-March and it was fantastic. I loved Seville, definitely one of my favorite European cities yet, and the Algarve Coast is just stunning (my mom – who is very well-traveled – was insanely jealous when she saw my pictures). I really like going to Europe for spring break because I prefer to save the beach vacations for winter, but I also don’t like going cold places, so southern Spain and Portugal was great on that front. We did Tuscany last year, which was also great, though not quite as warm.
ifiknew says
So glad to hear! Were you already on the east coast? I want to do it over next spring break but I’m weary of the 10 hour flight from Texas..
Anon says
We’re in the Midwest and not near a major airport so it was a bit of a trek… three flights (home airport to Philadelphia to Madrid to Seville) and then after a few days in Seville we rented a car and drove to Portugal. But we’re on eastern time so that definitely helps make jet lag less painful.
DLC says
We went to Amsterdam with kids (11, 6, and 4). Chose it because we have family there. Super easy to get around because everyone took credit cards and spoke English.
Grown ups and kids enjoyed: taking a food tour (no complaints from the kids because they got to eat every 30 mins or so), Straad street art museum. (Very large and spacious and no one looked at you funny if your kid decided to roll around on the ground. The art was amazing too.), playground in the Pijp area of town (we went to a lot of playgrounds…), Maritime Museum, and in Utrecht the Speelock Museum (museum of musical machines)
Manage your expectations with kids: Rijksmuseum, Van Gogh Museum, Boat tour on the canal. The museums super engaging for the kids- all the museums had fun scavenger hunts and thing- but following my kids around while they did the scavenger hunt didn’t allow me much time to see things slowly. The Canal Boat Tour was just torture for them for some reason, maybe they were just tired? I would try it again, though, because they usually like this kind of thing.
Kids did not enjoy: just walking around and seeing the cool architecture and basking in canals. Eating out every single night- by dinner time, they did not have patience to sit still. I have to say, the food was pretty “meh” in general. Except the kids surprisingly loved herring. And ice cream is always a winner.
We did not see the tulips or windmills since I didn’t have it in me to do anything super crowded; would consider booking a tour to do it next time because I do want to see them.
Also- thanks for folks who weighed in on airplane amusements a few weeks ago… the kids did indeed spend their whole flights glued to the in flight entertainment system. Though one kid only had bluetooth headphones so she had to use the subpar airplane ones.
Anonymous says
We went on a cruise from NYC to Bermuda with 3 days docked at the islands. We also got to NYC early and spent one day and night there.
Highlights (according to the kids): Harry Potter store, Lego store, Central Park, and the Bermuda beaches: Horseshoe Bay for the great sand & kid-sized waves, and Tobacco Bay for the fun spots to clamber on rocks and look at fish.
I would absolutely go back to Bermuda and stay somewhere in the middle of the islands for easier getting-around. It’s gorgeous, apparently the water gets nice and warm in the summer, and there’s lots of cool history. Apparently there are short, direct flights from NYC, Atlanta and Boston
Anon says
Ooh I want to do this but it’s awkward because my in laws live in NYC and would expect to be included.
Whistler says
We went skiing at Whistler from the east coast. It was a trek but worth it for us (me, husband, kids ages 9 and 6, and my mother). My husband does not ski, and being in a town gave him plenty to do; he wasn’t just stuck in the condo the whole time. We ended our days fairly early (2:30-3 pm) so we had time in the afternoon to enjoy tubing, ziplining, snowshoeing — things I haven’t done on previous ski trips. Anyway, we loved it.
Traveling that far with the kids has given me confidence to try Europe — it’ll be shorter! This was also the first time we’ve traveled for a full week with my mother and it was great! I’m hoping she’ll allow us to bring her along on future trips.
OOO says
Should DS’ 3rd birthday party be at the zoo or aquatic center? Birthday is in August
Anon says
I think you should do what you want, but personally I’d much rather attend a party at a zoo and we likely would skip an aquatic center party unless it was for a BFF.
Anonymous says
Concur. The zoo is so much less hassle for parents than the aquatic center.
NYCer says
As an attendee, I would prefer the zoo.
Anonymous says
Zoo. Way safer
AIMS says
I would vote actuator center b/c if it’s too hot to be out, a zoo is misery.
AIMS says
*aquatic, obviously