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Make My Life Easier Thursday: Bumkins Snack Bag
I’d dabbled in reusable bags before when J was in daycare, but we never quite found one that we liked. But when I started packing his lunch for first grade this year, I started feeling wasteful every time I grabbed a snack Ziploc bag for a few raisins or dried mangos. So I thought I’d give these cute reusable bags a try. (He doesn’t really know who Mario is yet, but I figured Nintendo would age with him and be good for his brother as well.) Verdict: we like them. We’re not washing them every single time we use them (although sometimes I’ll just do a quick rinse in the sink and then put them on the drying rack inside out — and they’re definitely not for anything gooey or that you want to keep super fresh — but for crackers, raisins, and other small, dry snacks, we like them. They zip easily and make me feel good that on some days, at least, we’re being kind to the planet. A set of two bags is $7.95 at Amazon. Bumkins Nintendo Reusable Snack Bag Small 2 Pack, Super Mario 8-Bit This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Recommendations for a loud trumpet toy for a toddler? That is her request from Santa… a loud kazoo or recorder might be popular too?
Yes, I found a good one. Bontempi Toy Trumpet
It’s a toddler with a trumpet so it’s still going to be loud and annoying at times. But, what I liked was that you could play recognizable songs and the pitch/tone wasn’t awful.
Saxoflute. My daughter loves hers. She pulls it apart and puts it back together over and over again, marveling at the different sounds it makes depending upon which pieces she uses. Biggest downside is that she can get frustrated if she tries to use all the pieces, because she isn’t really strong enough to push them together tight enough so that the long tubes will hold together. But it is definitely a favorite toy and I like that it feels educational. Link to follow.
This is the saxoflute that we have. Apparently there are fancier versions, but they look like a bit much to me: https://www.dancingbeartoys.com/international-playthings/saxoflute/8007905041703
You are a saint for accommodating this request. I would have stopped reading at “loud.”
Haha that was my thought too. The saxoflute looks really fun and I want to encourage my kids to like music (and eventually will put them in piano lessons or similar), but man, I just don’t think I can have that in my house.
Yeah, I didn’t think this was a serious request at first. Ha.
Do anyone else’s kids behave better for literally everyone else but them (nanny, husband, grandparents…) My 3 year old especially. I don’t think I’m a pushover but every now and then it concerns me!
Anon in NYC says
omg yes. My daughter is so well-behaved for grandparents, teachers, etc. But she will have full-on meltdowns for me (and my husband, but she is slightly better behaved with him). You’re not alone!
Yes! I’ve been told that this is normal and part of your kids establishing independence from you (their parents).
YES. I’ve also heard that it’s because they use up a lot of their energy/willpower being good for other people (especially at school), and once they are in the safe confines of home, they let it all out.
Yep, I’ve heard this too. They feel comfortable pushing boundaries with you because they feel safe and loved and comfortable at home. At least that’s what I tell myself as my 3 year old flails about on the floor.
Paging Needs a Vacation says
Paging Needs a Vacation from yesterday:
We can only ever travel at peak periods because my husband is a teacher, so I don’t have any advice on February travel. But we only ever travel to places with a separate sleeping space due to the same concerns you expressed.
We went to Sol Palmeras in Varadero Cuba last Christmas and were really happy with our trip. Not sure where you are from, but Cuba is generally the least expensive all-inclusive options for Canadians. Many people don’t want to travel there because of what is stereotyped as not great food, but we didn’t have any issues. Most importantly for us, they have family bungalows with a small kitchenette, separate bedroom and living room. This let us put kiddo down to nap/bed without being stranded inside a dark hotel room with her.
The beach is BEAUTIFUL- we have travelled extensively and were really impressed. Very shallow entry for toddlers. There is also a small toddler pool that they can stand in, but my daughter is mainly a beach bum.
If you want more family-friendly resort recommendations (there is an entire chain in Mexico – forget the name, but it is way out of our budget during peak travel recommendations) check out the facebook group “Up Up and Away.” Lots of reviews there.
Interesting about the Canadian perception of Cuban food! My stereotype is that Cuban food is delicious.
I recently traveled to Cuba (as an American) and I had the same thought. I love Cuban food but something about the communistic regulations there and the general inability to procure goods left many restaurants with poor food options. It was disappointing after looking forward to authentic Cuban food for so long!
We use these bags as well. We rotate through 8 of them, and they’ve held up well in the past 5 months of daily use by two kids. They’re the perfect size for a snack. Like you, we use them for dry things like pretzels and raisins and yogurt chips and fruit snacks, so we just need to rinse them and let them dry inside out.
We also send reusable silverware and reusable tupperware for sandwiches, so it helps that everything in their lunchbag just goes back in the bag and comes home. Nothing to throw out but food waste (like orange peels).
But if anyone has recommendations on a good sturdy silverware set, let me know. We are using the bamboo ones and they break or split too easily for us. I didn’t think my kids were tough on silverware, but we’ve gone through 3 sets this year already.
Ikea has cute kids silverware – like $5 for a fork/knife/spoon. I keep a few sets in a mug near the kids plates instead of the regular silverware drawer. I also use their plastic stuff to send for school lunches in case it gets lost/misplaced (it’s super cheap). WMF also had gorgeous kids silverware. My MIL got engraved sets for my kids for their birthdays this year. I thought it was silly but the kids were SO excited to have their names on it.
Anon in NYC says
+1 for these.
We send salad forks or teaspoons from our everyday flatware (it came with extras of those items). I think we’ve only lost one spoon over the years. Could you buy some inexpensive metal silverware and send that?
I know there’s been threads on this in the past but I’m not having any luck finding them. Looking for advice on traveling with an 11 month old in January for a short vacation. My parents offered to fly us for a short Florida vacation. We’ll be staying at a nice hotel, which I’m not thrilled about as far as washing bottle parts and what not. Any tips for things to take/not to take? Do we need to take a carseat (not sure if we’ll be renting a car or not)? Kiddo has some delays so she isn’t super mobile fortunately but I’m more concerned about lugging a ton of junk for a 4-5 day trip.
I use bumkins wet bags for storing pump parts in the fridge in between uses. Put them in the washing machine & dryer, so far so good. About half the price of the Sarah Wells pump parts bags, and I hated going through gallon ziplocs so quickly.
This is genius! Can’t believe I never thought of that.
I used wet/dry bags from Amazon for this purpose, too. I bought four or five so I’d only have to wash once a week.
I used a small Tupperware. It just got washed with the pump parts every night. The one I had fit the parts perfectly.
Cat Allergy Question says
Has anyone dealt with their child’s allergies to a pet before? We have been dealing with a persistent cough that appears to be related to an allergy and is triggering asthma in my daughter. The cough is really bad and I am desperate to do what I can to provide my daughter relief. We have seriously been dealing with the cough now for over a year. The allergy test showed sensitivity to tree nuts and dust mites, so we avoid the nuts and follow the cleaning protocols for dust mites. However, a cat allergy also appeared on the most recent test. We have a 10 year old cat at home. The doctor said not to get rid of the cat because the test can’t show how sensitive the allergy is, but to follow some precautions (keep the cat out of the child’s room, get a HEPA filter, vacuum twice a week, wash bedding in hot water weekly, etc). We have done all that and nothing is improving. I’m afraid we need to rehome the cat, which is devastating. But I’m also worried that it may not make the cough better. I know that the dander can stick around for a long time. Has anyone had to rehome a pet due to allergies? How long did it take for things to get better? Does anyone regret rehoming because things didn’t get better? I feel like I am not getting good answers from my doctor as to how likely we have a false positive on the cat allergy test, since I don’t see my daughter get worse or get other symptoms when she hangs out with the cat. But I will do anything to help her feel better. My mom is allergic to cats and I can’t force my daughter to live with that discomfort if the cat is the cause.
For immediate relief trying Claritin daily for at least a week to bring down the histamine levels. If the cough has been going on for a year, I would ask to have her assessed for asthma as well. My MIL had a cat and my cat allergic daughter was fine with occasional sleepovers when we were visiting MIL’s country. Pediatrician told us to put her on Claritin for a week before travel to ensure histamine levels were as low as possible. Not sure if full time living with a cat is possible but it’s worth a try.
Bedroom is key. Kids spend 12 hours there overnight so if you can get that to be a cat free zone, she may tolerate the cat’s presence in the rest of the house. Add filter to vent in daughter’s room as well, vacuum the mattress, get a dust mite cover (to lock in any residual cat dander) or replace mattress. I would limit cat to lower floor of the house to reduce dander being tracked into bedroom. Use fresh pyjamas every night or get dressed in bedroom so dander from kitchen at breakfast doesn’t get tracked into the bed.
Cat Allergy Question says
Thanks for this response. We see an allergy/asthma specialist, so they are monitoring her for (what is likely) asthma. We use Zyrtec when the cough gets really bad, and that seems to help more than her inhaler ever does, but she can’t be on it forever. For the bedroom, we do all the things recommended except fresh nightly pajamas (we do keep them in the bedroom and use for 2 or 3 days) and we can’t really limit the cat from going to the floor her bedroom is on due to the open layout of the house. Thank you so much for your response, I think I will try fresh pajamas because it is at least something new that we aren’t doing yet.
Is there a reason she’s not using an asthma maintenance medication? I missed the asthma diagnosis in my initial read. My daughter is on an asthma maintenance medication (alvesco) in part because she has food allergies and anaphylaxis is more likely to be severe in kids with asthma so it’s extra important to have good asthma management. She usually only needs her rescue medication when she gets a bad cold. If you are using the rescue medication more than once a month, I’d push for a revisit on the asthma plan and maybe a lung function test.
Cat Allergy Question says
I should have been more clear. She has two inhalers right now (twice daily and rescue) and the cough has been so bad the last week her doctor is having me use the rescue medicine every 6 hours but it doesn’t seem to be doing anything at all–I see no improvement after the medicine. We also have an epipen in case of an anaphylaxis reaction for accidental ingestion of the tree nuts, but thankfully have never had to use it. The only thing that makes a noticeable difference is the Zyrtec. We have not tried Claritin, but I think the concept (histamine blocker) is the same. We have an asthma/allergy visit scheduled for Monday with her doctor, and one of my questions is whether we should be referred to a pulmnologist.
Not a kid allergy question but my friend’s husband developed a late in life cat allergy. He was fine when they had one cat but a total mess when they had two. To figure out if it really was the cat or not, he stayed in a cat free house for a week. He got better. He went home. He got worse. They rehomed the new cat and he still has some allergies to the old cat now but they are tolerable.
Do you have a cat free friend you could house swap with or could you afford a hotel for a week? That’s really the only way to know for sure. Even sending the cat on vacation isn’t enough because the dander is still in your house.
Cat Allergy Question says
This is so funny that you recommend this because I asked the doctor about this and he said that a week away may not be long enough to make a difference (and any longer is really just not feasible for us to stay in a hotel or house swap). My daughter does seem to do a bit better on vacations, but not 100%. We also take half of our vacations at our in-laws house, and they have 2 cats and she seems to be the same there. This summer, I did notice that she seemed better when we were on vacation (in a home with dogs), but I thought maybe just the change of air (fresh mountain air) and so much family time were what helped. That sounds dumb as I type it, but can it really be isolated to the cat if she gets better on vacation?
To be honest, I think my biggest fear is that we will rehome the cat and things won’t improve and I feel like I will lose the last bit of “me” that existed before we had a kid. I’ve done a major career change, bought a different vehicle, completely rearranged my night owl schedule, sacrificed habitual workouts and any time to read books, all for my child. I love being her mom, but giving up this cat to a different home just . . . it would feel like a stab to my heart if things don’t get better for my daughter and we lose the cat.
I totally understand. I can’t imagine having to give up either of my pets. You say above that she can’t be on zyrtec forever. I’ve been on Claritin or Allegra for the last 15 years at least. My doctor has made it sound like forever is just fine. Is it different for kids? It also wouldn’t necessarily be forever, just the remainder of this cat’s life.
I think your concern is a very valid one too. People with allergies/asthma have a ton of triggers and the cat might not be the big issue. I also don’t put a ton of faith in allergy tests. I have a bunch of allergies that don’t show up on the tests. I also don’t find I have an issue with the things the tests say are positive. It could be something else in your house too. I’m sure this is super frustrating.
Cat Allergy Question says
Thank you. Just hearing that someone understands my frustration really helps. I have thought about trying to find a foster family for the cat for 6 months, with the option to take her back, but I just don’t know if we can. Rehoming is already going to be tough given the cat’s age. Although she is very sweet and has a great personality for lots of different types of living situations.
I also just re-read and your doc isn’t even suggesting you re-home the cat. You can live with your kitty guilt-free. If there was any chance re-homing would fix this, the doc would have suggested it!
I have a kid with many different environmental allergies, including dust and cats. Have you been to an allergist, and if so, has your allergist mentioned long-term immunotherapy at all? DS has been getting allergy shots for 2 years now due to the severity of his allergies. If it were just the cat, we might have considered re-homing, but the doctor was very clear that getting rid of the cat wasn’t necessary because there were so many other environmental factors. Also, your kid may have some immunity to your *own* cat because of repeated exposure, but being around a new cat would cause issues. If your kid is allergic to one thing, chances are she’s allergic to other environmental stuff, and you’d have no way of knowing what without testing. (The testing process isn’t that terrible, BTW.)
Both of DS’s docs have been fine with him staying on Zyrtec for as long as he needs to. We’ve been able to taper down as the allergy shots start doing more for him.
Cat Allergy Question says
Thanks for commenting. We are seeing an allergist. We have another visit on Monday and may need to begin shots because our current regime is obviously not working. If rehoming the cat would give a big improvement, I would do that over the allergy shots. It is definitely something that I plan to ask the doctor (what are next steps because we need to do more?). She has been tested and shows allergies to dust/dust mites, cats and tree nuts. I will need to check on the tests because I am sure she hasn’t been tested for everything and they could be missing things. She has very sensitive skin and is hard to test because she sometimes reacts to the control and they have to throw the whole test out. It is good to know that she may be able to stay on the Zyrtec for a bit. I just hate the idea of daily medicines if we can manage it another way because long-term effects of drugs can take decades to show up and be published. But obviously I am grateful for the drugs when they manage her symptoms.
Anon in NYC says
Can you confine the cats to a specific area of the house? My BIL and his kids are allergic, but they still have cats – they just keep them in the basement.
Not sure if you will see this… but additional ideas.
1. Also keep cat of furniture like sofas. My Dad was allergic as a kid and we didn’t let the cats on the sofas/chairs because it would get the dander there and then it would puff up every time he sat down
2. Do you have carpets/rugs and can you eliminate them?
3. Get the cat groomed/bathed regularly and do wipe downs daily (they actually sell pet wipes)
4. get a Roomba and set it to run every day
We are lunatics with 4 cats and I look forward to my kitty snuggle time once the kids are in bed so I seriously sympathize. I would be really heartbroken if we had to rehome them.
Air travel question. We are going to Hilton Head in early summer with my husband’s family. We haven’t flown with our son before, and he will be 23 months when we travel. It would obviously be cheaper to bring him as a lap child, but is it worth the cost to just pay for a seat? He’s a super active kid normally, no idea how he will be on a plane. I don’t know yet if we’ll be flying direct or (more likely) having one stop.
Kiddo's mom says
I would get a seat. At that age, even a 1 hour flight with my daughter in my lap was miserable. I felt like I wrestled her the entire time, and my back was sore for days from twisting and turning and trying to wrangle her in awkward positions. We were traveling with her dad, but she had a strong preference for me, so take that into consideration. Since then we have always gotten her a seat and the CARES harness, and it’s so much easier.
Get the seat. The FAA recommends a seat for everyone, the airlines just have the under-2 policy (not recommended). Think about it. The only thing that isn’t locked down on takeoff is your child. Even the peanuts and napkins are secured. For an active child, it will also make you more comfortable, especially if you can bring a carseat and keep them snug in the harness. One thing we do is put one parent in front of the child and the other parent beside the child. That way, one parent (sort of) gets a break during the flight and the child isn’t left to kick a stranger’s seat (if they are a kicker, which ours is). We learned that after our daughter kicked a man’s seat for almost 2 hours during a flight. He was very polite about it, but telling my wiggly worm to quit kicking every 2 seconds and physically restraining her legs for half the flight was no fun. I can’t imagine if she had been on my lap.
Re safety: FAA does not require a seat for under-2s on the rationale that it is safer for the child to fly in arms than be transported in a car in a carseat, so they don’t want to make it prohibitively expensive to fly with an under-2 year old child. A seat for a child is absolutely even safer, and it’s not just in the unlikely event of a crash–also cases of turbulence.
I know the rule has been under review several times and the FAA definitely recommends a seat. But you are right that the plane is safer than the car. Even so, there are lots of injuries during turbulence for lap children.
Here is the FAA webpage: https://www.faa.gov/travelers/fly_children/
Oh, absolutely! I was just adding to what you said the rationale to explain why seats aren’t required for under-2s. My own thought process before our first flight with our infant was as you described (I cannot hold my purse on my lap, but I can hold my baby???).
Thirding the seat recommendation. Even flying with a 3mo I was glad he had a seat on 2/4 flights. I cannot imagine lap child-ing a mobile toddler.
Thanks, this is really helpful! Do you recommend actually flying with a carseat? Or just sticking the kid in the seat with the seatbelt? I see there are blog posts on this, but would appreciate hearing from people’s actual experiences!
We have a travel car seat and use it on flights. First, it feels safer–the chance of the airplane crashing is small, but since you’re already taking the safety precaution of buying him his own seat, putting him in the car seat seems like the next logical step. Second, if I need the car seat at my destination, I don’t like the idea of checking it and the car seat either not arriving or getting banged and thrown around. Gate checking the car seat would reduce the chances of those things happening, but if you’ve already gotten the car seat through the airport and to the gate, why not just use it on the airplane? Third, it’s nice to have Kiddo strapped down in a seat like he’s used to in the car–otherwise, he wants to go back and forth between our laps and his seat.
Rainbow Hair says
We bring the car seat on the plane! (1) I can talk up how she gets to nap in her comfy cozy car seat. (2) I make myself sick imagining a big BUMP of turbulence and my lightweight kid being thrown up to the ceiling — I like her being strapped in. (3) We’re gonna use it in a car when we get where we’re going anyway.
Another tip is, if you’re bringing an ipad and headphones (if there’s a time to sedate your kid with screen time, now is that time!) look into an ipad case you can rig up to hang from the seat in front of your kid, so he doesn’t touch it and turn it off all the time (ask me how I know) and you don’t have to hold it.
Kiddo's mom says
I despise hauling the car seat on the plane. We gate check the seat and use a CARES harness on the plane, which has worked really well for us.
If you don’t need a carseat at your destination, look into the CARES harness mentioned above. We always need the carseat and just put it in the airplane seat, its safest and easiest. Beware of bulkhead row seating, some of them have airbags integrated into the seatbelt. There’s an attachment to turn the airbag off, but on my last flight I still couldn’t get the carseat buckled in and had to switch rows with someone. We travel a lot, and have a Gogo Babyz handle to strap to the carseat, to turn it into an airport “stroller.” If you don’t anticipate flying a lot it might not be worth it, but we love ours.
Thank you all! This is great.
I don’t know if you have a local parenting group you can reach out to, but sometimes you can borrow a travel carseat that is lightweight or go and buy a Cosco Scenera just for travel (very cheap at Wal Mart and does not weigh much).
I think we will buy that one, thank you! That’s a great idea. We will want one at our destination anyway.
GETTTTTTT A SEATTTTTT. I have 2 kids. My older one was/is a saint about travel and even at 18 months she really did better with her own spot (depending on the flight timing, we either put her in a car seat so she could nap comfortably, or let her sit in the seat by herself so she could chill out). My younger one was MISERABLE at 10 months on my lap. She wanted to get out, crawl and explore. We got her a seat on the return flight and she sat extremely happily in her car seat and took a 2 hour nap.
Without knowing your kid, I’d say if this flight is >2 hours and it wouldn’t be a true financial hardship, get a seat. You will thank yourself, your seat-neighbors will thank you, and most of all, your kid will be happy.
oh, and re: carseat, if you want your kid to nap on the flight, bring the carseat. CARES works well but isn’t the snuggly nap-inducing machine that a carseat is. We use a $40 cheapie for air travel and it still puts the kids soundly to sleep!
Charitable giving PSA: If you’re like me and have good intentions for doing toys for tots, angel trees, etc. but always miss the deadlines, I learned this year that calling local grade schools directly can be a good way to connect with kids in need. Often, these are kids in ESL programs whose parents might have not understood the need to sign up for holiday help. In any case, I called my neighborhood elementary school and the counselor knew of two families who I could help with holiday gifts. It was super easy to coordinate with the school (the counselor was so grateful, she even picked up the gifts from my house rather than me having to drop them anywhere!) and now I don’t have the nagging guilt of not doing enough to help kids during the holiday. Thought I’d share in case this is helpful to anyone else. Never occurred to me to do this before reading it on a local FB moms page!
That’s a great idea! Our school has a ‘sister’ school the families sponsor in a lower income neighborhood, and I agree, its really nice to know that your gifts are going to a specific child or family.
Anon in NYC says
Such a great idea!
Weight Gain During Pregnancy says
I’m pregnant with my first two (twins) and struggling with the amount of weight they want me to gain during the pregnancy. I do not have a history of body or food issues, but a bout of depression led me to gain 35 pounds pretty quickly, and I looked and felt terrible and it took a lot of hard work and a long time to lose. I have long legs, but a very short torso and already carry most of my weight around my stomach, so I know I’m going to look huge and not be one of those glowing amazing looking pregnant women who is all belly. There is another woman in my office, though not my department, who is pregnant with twins. She is a couple of inches taller than me and built completely different (she is long & lean), and much further along than I am, but I can’t help comparing myself to her and thinking that people are going to think I’m some slob, while she looks amazing. She is one of those women who looks like she has a basketball under her dress, but otherwise doesn’t look pregnant. This is her second pregnancy and she did not retain one ounce of pregnancy weight from her first. I know this is silly and I shouldn’t compare and I want to gain the weight because I know it is what is healthiest for the babies, but 40-50 pounds is a lot!
Keep in mind that 30-35lbs of that weight isn’t ‘fat’, but the weight of the babies, fluids, increased blood volume and placenta. I gained 35 lbs with my first, but most of that was gone by my 2 week check up, because it was literally the baby’s support system.
I’ve gained and lost weight multiple times in my life, but pregnancy weight gain was different, even though I was carrying it in my middle as well. The shape of my pregnant belly was completely different than my shape at my heaviest, because of the underlying muscle.
I had twins. I’m tall and I didn’t show a ton but 40 pounds did seem like a daunting amount of weight. If you eat healthy, especially hitting the protein recommendations which can be key for growth if babies come earlier, it’s actually not that bad and you don’t have to eat a crazy amount of food. Pretty sure I put either guacamole or olive oil on everything for my whole pregnancy.
You have to remember that it’s not just two babies. I had di-di twins so it’s also double the amniotic fluid, and two placentas. My babies were 6lbs and 7lbs. I left the hospital two days after they were born and between their weight + fluid + placentas + water I was retaining late in pregnancy, I was 32 lbs lighter.
Weight Gain During Pregnancy says
thanks! also di-di twins here. I guess I’m less worried about gaining the weight (though I should probably start worrying bc my first trimester consisted of me puking and not eating much, and i’m at the very beginning of the second trimester and real food is still a challenge), and more that unlike you, I’m going to look HUGE, short & stout and never lose the baby weight. And I’m sure I am going to be compared to the other woman in my office and I’m not going to look even close to as good as she will!
I know that this is dumb and totally meaningless in the grand scheme of life and of course my utmost concern is the health of my babies. this is probably somewhat my pregnancy hormones talking and just dealing with lots of life changes simultaneously.
If you have a history of body issues, I would encourage you to start working with a therapist now and to pre-schedule appointments for after the birth. Pregnancy body changes are not just about weight gain. It can shift your body shape as well. I got through my first pregnancy with just weight gain but the twin pregnancy pushed out one side of my rib cage permanently and gave me an issue with my right hip and that I’m still working to resolve with phyiso. I’m not staying this to scare you – you may have zero issues but I do think a strong relationship with a therapist could really help prevent problems like postpartum depression which are also more common with twin pregnancies.
Anon in NYC says
I had a single baby and struggled with body image issues during pregnancy as well. I gained slightly more than the recommended amount, but looked huge in comparison to my friend who has 2 months farther along than me. She is rail thin though, and has always been that way (and that’s just not my body shape). I remember being at her baby shower and I looked ready to pop and she looked like she had a soccer ball (not even a basketball!) under her shirt.
So, I hear you. You’re not alone in feeling bad about yourself during pregnancy. If you do feel like these thoughts are becoming overwhelming, I’d second the recommendation to a therapist. Your ob could recommend someone.
Also, I should have said this – hugs. I felt awful about my body while pregnant, and sympathize with you. Hang in there, keep talking, we’re all here for you.
It’s totally understandable, if not totally rational, to compare, and even if you don’t have a history of body image issues or eating disorders, pregnancy weight gain can be a bit of a trigger for some people. If it’s persistently bothering you, would you have time (I know, I know, yet another appointment! but imagine how much less time you’ll have after babies arrive!) for some therapy?
I was pretty skinny pre-pregnancy, and gained almost 50 pounds with my single kiddo. I was able to lose all of it within a year, and the majority of it came off before the 6 week check up (some has come back, but that’s….a different issue).
It sounds like we have similar body shapes – short torso, carry weight around my middle. One thing to be ready for is that your torso doesn’t have room to carry a baby; things have to move to make room. Your rib cage may spread, your hips may spread. Which is all fine, but just – don’t peg your self-worth to getting into your pre-pregnancy jeans, because your body might be different postpartum.
+1 – I have a short torso (and had a singleton pregnancy) with hyperemesis so I didn’t gain much at all and my hips and rib cage both spread regardless to give the baby space. I’m now a full band size larger for my [email protected] and my hips/waist ratio is much more pronounced.
It’s understandable to compare, but also think about how you said you are built completely differently than her. Your bodies are different, you’re going to be pregnant differently too.
I was pregnant with my first at the same time as Kate Middleton with her first. I gained over 50 pounds (on my 5’2″ frame) regardless of adding 200-300 calories and continuing to exercise. I looked and felt terrible. Kim Kardashian was also pregnant, the one where tabloids called her Shamu, and I made her look great. I lost all but 10 pounds eventually with a lot of hard work, then got pregnant again (and so did Kate Middleton, and so did Kim Kardashian). I had complications so didn’t track my food and didn’t exercise once. I still gained 50 pounds. I eventually lost all of those, but I’m back to +10 from my original weight.
All of that to say, I struggled with comparing myself to very very visible pregnancies with both of my kids. Other people compared me to them too, because people are a-holes. It’s hard not to compare, but their lives and their bodies are so different than mine, it is truly apples and oranges. Your coworker is just as different. Try to remember that, and try to focus on why you are a good parent. Those twins will be lucky to have you as their mom, regardless of how your stomach looks now or in the future.
Anon CPA says
This is SO true. I gained nearly 50 pounds with my first two pregnancies, and 40 with the third. I ended up 20 pounds under pre-preg weight the first time, +5 the second time, and I’m 11 weeks PP the third time and the weight is just not budging.
But my point is, I ate / exercised differently with all three pregnancies, and my body just did it’s thing. I know Kim K has said similar – your body knows what it’s doing and it doesn’t matter if you work out and only eat the bare minimum, some people just gain a lot during pregnancy.
I had twins and gained 40 pounds by the end (went full-term). You have 9 months to gain that weight, it’s not supposed to appear overnight. I think I had gained 20-25 pounds by week 20.
FWIW, I exclusively pumped for my twins and lost all those 40 pounds + another 15 by the time they were 6 months old, when I drastically cut back on pumping. I settled mostly back at my pre-pregnancy weight over the next 6 months.
Hi! I also had di-di twins and I’m 5’4”. I put on about 45 pounds and was terrified of the twin skin and needing a tummy tuck. I didn’t get the skin, nor need a tummy tuck. I lost 30 of those pounds in two weeks and the rest before I went back to work at 8 weeks. Not everything went back exactly where it was before, but good enough to where my coworkers gave me a serious wow when I walked in. Unfortunately, I’m also about 10 lbs up from the serious wow and where I’d like to be, 2 years later. I also recommend therapy – not only for body image, but to help adjust to changes of pregnancy, being a working mom, etc.
I gained 55 and 60lbs with my two pregnancies. It came off (it took time, but I didn’t specifically diet/exercise to make it happen- just chased 2 kids, didn’t eat [too much] total garbage, and BF’d for a bunch of months)! And that wasn’t even twins.
So, take care of yourself and be mindful of totally pigging out, but give your body what it needs to grow the babies! You are having twins. You will look ready to pop at 6 months and get all the comments. You will learn to say “i hope not, they’re not due for months!” when someone asks if the babies are coming any day now. You will waddle. And then in a couple of months, it will all be a blurry memory.
Hang in there and congrats!!
Hugs – I can so relate to the comparison trap. Unfortunately, this is only the first aspect of motherhood in which you will need to remind yourself that your situation is not her situation and your situation is/will be perfect for you. Yes, people will judge when you don’t seem to have it all together, but they don’t have a right to judge until they have to carry your babies/take them to Target after short naps/decide where to send them to school/enforce boundaries when they are teenagers. This is just the first step and you are going to be great. I promise those two sweet babies will be worth it.
When I was pregnant with twins, I was told 35-40, not 40-50! Even 35 seemed daunting. I gained just under 30 pounds.
I put on 49lbs with one baby. I wasn’t even trying, I didn’t eat All The Things that we now call “sometimes foods” ie junk food. I ate normal foods, including some “sometimes foods” sometimes, though more food than before pregnancy if and when I felt hungry. Even so, 49 lbs. I’m 5’6” so that was a lot. I night sweat out buckets post parting, nursed, and was back to the weight I was within a year, though my body is shaped differently now.
You’re going to gain a lot of weight because you’re growing two people. It’s what is supposed to happen. It is necessary. It’s gonna be ok <3.
Gift recs for direct report who happens to be pregnant with first baby? Under $50 would be great.
Holiday gift with a baby twist or a separate baby related gift?
Hanna Andersson has those awesome footless sleepers on sale for $25
Anon in NYC says
Miracle Blanket (my fave swaddle), or a Pottery Barn bath wrap would be cute. Zutano fleece booties. A few favorite baby books.
i would say something for the mom. there are some people who are superstitious and do not like to have baby things in their house before the baby. so make sure she is not one of those people. maybe a gift certificate to a nice pedicure place or something else that would be useful to her surviving pregnancy. very sweet of you to think of her!
Amelia Bedelia says
I remember someone recommending this type of seat blow up pillow that hooks on the table tray in front of you for kids to sleep on an overnight airplane flight.
does this sound familiar?
any recommendations or discussion of helpfulness?
I need ideas for my 2 and 3 year old.
Flyebaby is what people were discussing, I believe.
Just noticed the 2 and 3 year old thing… I don’t know any product like that that is meant for older kids. My friend used flyebaby for her 8 month old and thought was towards the tail end of its usefulness.
Something like this? https://www.flylegsup.com/kids-fly-legsup-info (We ended up not getting it & kiddo did fine on the 13h and 8h flights, but he slept on my lap a lot. )
Late to comment, but first class kids has a more affordable inflatable version. We used it on a flight with our 2.5yo and it worked as advertised; he was able to lay flat comfortably, although on one flight he rolled and flailed so much it didn’t really work out. (Other flight he slept like a rock so it was worth it.) You need to make sure to book a window seat or in the middle of the middle section so that the pillow won’t block other people’s exit route.
I inadvertently planned the worst day for myself tomorrow, my day “off” at the end of a condensed workweek. The housecleaner is coming (yay!) at the same time that my littlest has a doctor’s appointment that I had forgotten about (thank god for those reminder calls!) and I scheduled my older one’s first visit to the dentist for the same morning, AND my department holiday party is that afternoon. Plus, it’s my last non-work day before we go out of town for 2 weeks. What was I thinking???
I had planned to make something for our appetizer potluck, but that is definitely not happening now. Ideas for a good appetizer to buy and bring (and maybe even pass off as your own!)?
So, not something to pass off as your own, but one of my coworkers was just slammed and ordered a big order of chicken wings from a great sports bar right by our office. They were a total hit!
In order to pass things off as my own: Fancy cheese plate (purchase cheese. purchase crackers/baguette. put on pretty board or plate.) Anything from Costco ever.
If you have time for Costco, get a container of mozzarella balls (they come in an oil/spices mixture) and some grape tomatoes. All you have to do is rinse the tomatoes and mix everything in a bowl.
I just ran across these recently and think they are so cute. You’d still have to assemble them, so it might not really fit your criteria. https://www.hy-vee.com/recipes-ideas/recipes/holiday-cheese-trees
cheeses, crackers, and some fancy jams or spreads from trader joes. Put out on a platter, and you’re done.
They have a lot of delicious frozen apps as well (brie bites in pastry, etc.) but it doesnt sound like you’ll have time to cook something and get it to the party hot?
No advice on the appetizer but I would cancel the dentist appointment and reschedule for January. One less thing on a crazy day.
Do you have a crock pot? If so….melt Velveeta cheese with a jar of hot salsa. Serve your “queso” with tortilla chips. Or you can throw some chicken thighs into your crock pot with a jar of salsa, fish out the bones and shred the meat in the morning, and serve it as taco meat with tortilla chips.