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Kid/Family Sales
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Potty woes says
I am not willing to leave my daycare provider for many reasons, even if that solves this particular one, so no need to suggest that.
Anyone had a provider who insisted on pull-ups until kiddo was fully trained? I think it’s making this harder that it has to be. LO is a boy, just turned 3, did oh cr*p a few weeks ago and he was awesome. He has been 100% on #2 for a full month now, even going when we are out and about, on a road trip he asked for potty for #2, so I think we’re good there barring a major regression.
#1 is another story. He just knows the pull-up is there and lets loose. I’m just looking for hope that it’s possible w/ a provider that insists on pull-ups til no accidents (which he’s not there yet for sure, when he gets busy he forgets even in undies and yells “I HAFA PEE”, clutches his crotch, and then is mid-pee by the time we get to potty – totally age appropriate imo) that kiddo gets over the pull-ups and buys in to the concept. We are leaning hard into bribes/sticker chart right now to see if that does the trick. And also, pre-‘oh cr*p’ isn’t this what people did on the regular? and kids got it eventually right?
Other details – she has him go at regular intervals and he always goes, no problem with being scared of her potty or her not prompting enough. I think especially when playing outside, he doesn’t want to stop playing and knows he has the pull-up.
Anonymous says
I mean the only real answer is that your day care isn’t working for your kid on this.
Anonymous says
Maybe try some underwear he is really excited about keeping dry? Let him pick some out with a favorite character or something. I’ve heard others suggest that but haven’t tried it myself.
Anonymous says
I don’t think this is an issue worth leaving over anyway. I would just keep pushing day care that he needs to be in underwear for this to stick. Bring them 15 pairs of underwear and seven extra sets of clothes. Be ready for them to complain. Be empathetic but firm. “I know. It’s frustrating. It seems like he’s making progress!” If they won’t budge, I’m not sure what choice you have but to get him fully trained at home and start sending him in underwear.
Anonymous says
So taking your word that you don’t want to change providers. I would never use pull ups at home – make it clear they are a daycare only thing.
And second, while at daycare, have him wear underwear (snug boxer briefs) UNDER the pull ups. That way he still feels wet and is motivated to not ‘pee freely’ but also the messiness of changing pants and accidents on the floor is avoided because his pants and the floor are protected by the pull up (which I suspect is what the provider is looking for).
Send tons of underwear (like 10 pairs a day), and an extra large ziploc that she can toss the dirty underwear into. That way you don’t run out of underwear to go under the pull ups during the day.
Clementine says
Ugh, we had this and I was so frustrated. My imperfect solution was to put underwear under the pull up. It worked.
Anon says
We had a similar situation, but with our nanny. She recommended pullups and we followed her lead, but it quickly became evident that our daughter saw no meaningful distinction between diapers and pullups. She would go potty on the potty, but also didn’t seem bothered when she went in her pullup instead. So we pulled rank and said we’re doing undies only for daytime starting now, we are not concerned about accidents. Anecdata, but there were not too many accidents – it was clear that the pullup was a crutch and taking that away was what we needed.
Anonymous says
Have you tried underwear with a pull-up over? This is what we did when we had to be out and about during potty training. It prevents messes on furniture and floors, which is probably the day care provider’s concern, but allows them to feel wet so they are less likely to go in their pants.
Anon says
+1 about messes. Is this an in home daycare? If so, I would 100% understand the concern about messes. It’s one thing to be okay with occasional accidents (or more frequent accidents as OP describes) in your own home, but if the daycare is in the provider’s home, I think it is 100% their call to have a policy on pull ups until a child is more reliably trained.
OP says
yes it’s an in-home and she has carpet in the daycare area unfortunately (and transitionally they are in other ‘private’ sections of her home as well while entering/exiting etc). Some good thoughts here – we’ve done undies under pullup BUT I haven’t tried sending like 10 pairs and a giant ziploc. Just sent one pair and once he peed through he was done.
Anon says
Is there a long break coming up (thanksgiving, you and husband tack some PTO onto a weekend, etc) where you can do undies at home, make it stick, and then tell daycare he’s all trained, no more pull-ups? Occasional accidents are still normal long past training, so just stick to your story.
Kids do eventually get it, of course. But depends how long you want eventually to last :) Oh Cr p is relatively new and niche, and kids have successfully trained young for decades/centuries. (I never did Oh Cr p or pull-ups for my boys; it was cold turkey into underwear at 2.5 and it “worked” quickly.)
anon says
Is there any room for compromise and have him only wear pull-ups at times of day where accidents would be a major issue? Our daycare was fully on board with their role in potty-training, but wanted kids who were not super reliable to wear pull-ups on walks to the neighborhood playground, because they would spend an hour or more outside and didn’t want to have to bring the whole class back early because a kid had an accident. The only other time they used pull-ups was at nap, but the kids were in underwear when in the center or outside on their own playground (when one adult could bring a kid in while others stayed with the playground kids).
Anon says
Caveat that I potty trained late (my kids were both 3.5 or close to it) but if he’s still having regular accidents several weeks into training, he isn’t really potty-trained and I think it’s reasonable for a daycare to want him in pull-ups. I don’t think our big center let kids stay in underwear for weeks when they were regularly having accidents. I don’t see the harm in having him just wear pull-ups for now and try underwear again in a month or two, especially since he just turned 3.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
My DS#2 turns 3 soon (!) and I’d like to get him a tricycle for the holidays or his birthday. We are not a big biking family (would love if we were…), so don’t need anything to top-of-the-line. Open to balance bikes, too – not sure if he’s too old?
Note: We have one trike which was gifted to DS #1 when he was 2+ but it was never used because it almost has *too* many bells and whistles, and can’t get scooted around without pedals – I’m going to give this a try as well.
Cb says
Go for a balance bike, he’s definitely not too old. Not the wooden one, they can be pretty dangerous.
Anon2 says
3 is perfect for a balance bike. All my boys are quite athletic and still weren’t ready for balance bikes before they turned 3… you need to have some strength and coordination in order to be able to really use them and have fun. And then they were on 2-wheelers without training wheels by age 4!
Tricycles are fun for riding around a flat surface if that’s your main location. But for any sort of hill they are useless and a balance bike is very fun, after the learning curve.
I’m assuming he has a good scooter already. If not, go scooter!
TheElms says
I’d go the balance bike route. For an almost 3 year old I would consider a Strider Sport (balance bike only) or a 14 inch Guardian bike (which can be used as a balance bike and then have pedals added). My now 4 year old had a Strider which she started using a lot until around 2.5, and on her 4th birthday she got a Guardian and we were able to add the pedals that week and she could ride pretty well on the first day we added the pedals. So, at least for our kid, the balance bike method really worked well.
TheElms says
The Guardian also allows for training wheels if balance bike ends up not working for you kiddo.
GCA says
I feel like a balance bike is more useful! One, it transitions better to actual pedal-bike riding a few years later. Two, it’s lighter and easier to tote around if you’re out at a park and one kid has a meltdown and you end up having to carry the bike and kid while wrangling the other…ask me how I know.
We got a simple, inexpensive Banana balance bike for DD when she was 2 or 3, and if I had to do it again I would have gone with air tires for better traction. By the time she was done with it, the foam tires were worn out.
Anon says
we got my twins strider balance bikes for their 3rd birthday and they just didnt want to use them. eventually we caved and now they have bikes with training wheels. i know that the balance bike makes it easier to learn to ride without training wheels, but it was a fight to get my kids to use them which to me defeats the purpose
HSAL says
We were also 0/3 with balance bikes. I get that people love them but it was just not for us.
anon says
0/2 for balance bike success here, too.
Anon says
0/4. My kids never actually “balanced” or coasted on the balance bike. They just pushed themselves along with their feet. My younger 2 had access to tricycles at their in-home daycare, and I think they learned how to ride a bike faster bc they already knew how to steer and pedal. They just had to learn balance. My kids who had balance bikes (but never coasted, just pushed with their feet – so never went fast enough to have to learn to steer) seemed like they were learning how to balance + pedal + steer at the same time, so it felt like it took them much longer to learn how to ride. I would at least get a balance bike with the pedal option, or just get one of the trikes that can actually pick up speed so they can learn pedaling and steering.
AwayEmily says
Same. Both my kids haaaated the balance bike.
Anonymous says
Same. My kid just can’t get into it. Loves the micro mini scooter, however.
NYCer says
+1. My kids were never into balance bikes, yet love(d) bikes with training wheels.
Anon says
You might also consider what they have access to at daycare. We never owned a balance bike but apparently my kid used one at daycare quite a bit and it made riding a regular bike a snap once she got the pedaling motion down.
Anonymous says
Another vote for Strider bike – all 3 of my kids loved them, and two of my kids are not very coordinated. If you decide a trike is a better fit for your family, we like the Radio Flyer Fold 2 Go.
Anonymous says
Get the balance bike, his legs will be too long for a tricycle soon. We were not a big biking family but our kids are turning us into one! They LOVE riding bikes, like the 4yo rides without training wheels (which I credit to the balance bike). So now they got mommy on a used bike!
anon says
I have already talked to my doctors about this issue, but am hoping that someone here has experience with this issue:
I am currently 26 weeks pregnant. I started having Braxton-Hicks contractions at 20 weeks. They have gotten increasingly severe, to the point of at times being painful. Some days I will have 10-15 intense contractions an hour, for 8 hours or more. I have been to the doctor twice for this, and ended up in the hospital once – they are able to confirm that I’m not actually in preterm labor (no cervical changes, negative fetal fibronectin), but there is no explanation or solution for the contractions other than the standard advice (change positions! go for a walk! lay down! talk a warm bath! drink water! pee!).
Does anyone else have experience with this? I started having B-H early with my first, but it was never this bad – this has become fairly life-limiting since when it’s at its worst, I’m in extreme discomfort (not as bad as labor, but not something Ic an ignore) and can’t really do things like play with my kid/attend to work/deal with my household. The prospect of 14 more weeks of this is hard to think about.
Anonymous says
Have your potassium levels been checked?
anon says
Oh, yeah. Not saying this has to be the explanation, but when this happened to me, it was because baby was in a series of poor positions (head up, transverse, head down but posterior). The theory was that the BH were my bodies strenuous efforts to move her. I figured this out after the fact. For my second, when it started again around 30 weeks and my doctor just shrugged and said “yeah, you just have one of those uteruses” I started doing a lot of bodywork and got him into an optimal position. The BH didn’t go entirely away, but they were waaaay less intense than with my first who was posterior until birth.
Anon says
This happened to my friend who ultimately ended up having a placental abruption and gave birth around 34 weeks. She had also been to the doctor several times and they didn’t realize what was happening until the situation was pretty dire. In her second pregnancy when the BH started, she began supplementing with magnesium and they almost completely stopped – she delivered at full term. Obviously this is COMPLETELY anecdotal and could be a very different situation than what you’re experiencing, and there’s no guarantee magnesium would have been enough to avoid the outcome of her first pregnancy. But magnesium feels like a low risk solution – my OB has recommended it to me and I’m currently 21 weeks pregnant. I use the Calm raspberry lemon powder and it tastes pretty good. Almost everyone is somewhat magnesium deficient, and magnesium helps with muscle spasms/relaxation so it’s possible it could help in this situation too. Could also try doing a magnesium spray on your belly since magnesium is best absorbed through the skin.
Anonymous says
Yup, I had bad BH with both kids and a MONTH of prodromal labor (legit contractions and slow cervical dilation) with my second. Try calcium/magnesium and maybe some electrolyte beverages.
sorry you're going through this says
What helped me was using a support belt and really, really limiting walking. Swimming for exercise was fine. Also, I brought a camping mat to my office, closed the door, and worked horizontally from time to time.
Finding humor in alarming people around me also helped, because the alternative was to be upset about that too.
anon says
Thanks, everyone. I am in my 40s so I see a regular OB and an MFM specialist. I have the MFM next week so I will discuss magnesium and also having my potassium checked with her.
SC says
I had BH around 20 weeks, and at some point, it progressed to pre-term labor (1 cm dilated and some significant percentage effaced at 28 weeks). Just keep getting checked and pay attention to any signs of regular contractions! I was put on bedrest and given medication, and I managed to make it to 34.5 weeks. Baby narrowly avoided NICU and is a healthy 8 year old now.
Waffles says
Who are your fashion/beauty icons?
I think Anne Hathaway has been looking great. I also look at what Kate Middleton is doing. The model Liu Wen has been popping up in ads again, looking very chic.
I applaud the armies of workers behind these women that have made these looks possible!
Anonymous says
I’m enjoying the recent Kate Middleton pantsuit looks. I have a long torso as well so I’ve been following her styling for a while.
An.On. says
I know this is weird, but Amy the lady host/brickmaster on Lego Masters. She’s 6’2″ and wears heels and is always in fun colorful suits. It’s appropriate for a toy television show, but nothing that I could wear myself at work, sadly. I like that it seems like she isn’t afraid to stand out or attract critiques and just goes hard where I honestly think she could get by with like, a nice sweater.
Mary Moo Cow says
I feel the same about Prue Leith on Bake Off. Love her style on her but don’t see how I could make it work in my life.
Anonymous says
Yeah, Amy is fabulous. She looks great and she knows it and isn’t remotely ashamed to flaunt her height (especially next to Jamie). Jamie is also fabulous in his own way, though less someone I wish I could emulate.
Anonymous says
thank you for the reminder that I need to check out the new season. I also love Amy’s style!
and yes to Kate Middleton, too. Except my shoe wardrobe will never be such that I have a pair to match every color I ever wear.
Anonymous says
I pay attention to what she rewears or when she has multiple colours if the same shoe because that seems like a solid indication that they are durable/versatile