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Anonymous says
A co-worker (not in the south) is on some GWTW-I-am-a-southern-Belle kick. And is planning to name her latest . . . Magnolia.
Anon says
Magnolia is a fairly common girls name now? I’ve heard of other people choosing that name.
Anonymous says
Maybe from Chip and Joanna Gaines?
anon says
And that’s why it’s a little weird. At this point, you’re essentially naming your kid after a major brand.
Anonymous says
No you aren’t. Come on. It’s not Xerox. It’s a pretty floral nature name.
Anon says
That seems like a stretch. I think most people think of nature before they think of the brand when they hear the name Magnolia. It’s not like Amazon or something like that where the brand has become more of a household name than the thing it was named after.
Anon says
I feel like it fairly common now, too. Especially because it has an easy nickname–Maggie. There are a lot of floral names that are popular right now that I would lump this into. Also, I’d consider it part of the recent trend toward old names like Violet, Rose, Ophelia, Sadie, etc.
Liza says
Let other people enjoy things?
NYCer says
Seriously, who cares! Plus I think Magnolia is way less weird than a lot of names I hear these days…
Aunt Jamesina says
I’m going to be a killjoy and say that I really dislike name snark. Magnolia seems pretty unremarkable to me given the popularity of botanic and floral names for girls.
Anon says
Same. Its often racist as well.
Anonymous says
Not a fan of people having a Lost Cause infatuation and using that for naming. Maybe it seems cool but my guess is that the mom to be has never see an actual plantation and how it makes genocide pretty. Ick.
Anonymous says
Magnolia is just a tree? She’s not naming the child Cotton.
Anon says
Yeah I live in a part of the country where we never had plantations or slavery and we have tons of beautiful magnolia trees that I love to see every spring. I don’t love the name personally, but I don’t see it very differently than naming your kid Iris (which I love). I get that it has southern roots, but I don’t think this is necessarily glamorizing plantations.
Aunt Jamesina says
This is a huge reach.
anon says
I know someone who named their child Cotton, after the mom’s maiden name. The mom is from the Northeast, and they live in the Midwest. Not my favorite name, but I don’t see it or Magnolia as racist or the result of a Lost Cause infatuation.
Anon says
I’m the Anon at 9:45 and I was saying name snark is often racist, because it’s often centered around what white people think is “normal.” I don’t think the name Magnolia is racist.
Aunt Jamesina says
Yes, I dislike name snark because it’s often racist, classist, or xenophobic (or a combination thereof).
Anon says
+1. Agreed.
NLD in NYC says
+1 Here, here
Anon says
Same. Who cares? It’s not your kid.
Anon says
I’m in a major TX city and have not heard this name. Then again, I’m BIPOC and run in those circles. Then again, Joanna Gaines herself is half-Korean and the queen of this particular aesthetic. Sometimes, some white peeps just gotta white.
anon says
Eeesh. I don’t love it. Great name for a tree, though.
Anonymous says
Magnolia is a pretty name!
Anon says
My first association with that name is not the tree or Joanna Gaines, but the Princess in Black, ha. I wouldn’t choose it for my kid, but the same can be said of most names. I don’t think there’s anything inherently gross about it.
Lil says
Same!
anonymous says
I mean, if she really wanted to go all GWTW, she could have gone with Savannah.
Can I just confess here, that I LOVE matching names? Like, this kind of makes we want to have a bevy of children and give them all botanical names: Clementine, Daisy, Hazel, Iris, Lily, Magnolia, Olive, Poppy, Rose. I know, I know, that your kids wouldn’t thank you, and I promise not to do it. I will blame it on a book I read in my formative years with a group of girls names March, April, May, June, and Julie.
Anonymous says
I think Clementine and Rose are lovely together. Or any of these names.
Anon says
I hate matching names that are too overt, like the month names you listed. A good friend gave her kids names that all start with the same three letters and I think it’s so cringe (and kind of confusing). Following a theme like flower names is a little more subtle, especially if you only have two kids.
whoops says
my kids names are very similar, starting and ending with same letters, and their middle names also start with the same letter. I love their names individually but yeah I confuse them all the time, and so do grandparents. I’d very much do it differently if I could.
Anon says
My bff from high school named her kid Magnolia, nicknamed Maggie. It feel like it used to be kind of a hipster name before the Gaines were a thing.
Anonymous says
Does anyone have a hybrid Sienna that is also AWD? I have an Odyssey and am looking to replace it in the next year and am looking at other minivans. I like the Odyssey but am in a more mountainous area that gets winter, so considering the Sienna due to AWD and hybrid to save on gas (and in an era of brownouts, I like that it is gas-electric). Family of 5 tall people and a giant dog, so Telluride seems a bit tight for when we have maximum need and don’t want to use 2 vehicles.
Anon says
I’ve had a Sienna and I’ve had an Odyssey, and the Odyssey is a much, much more reliable and well built car, hands down. I’ve heard the same from others, which is why I replaced my Sienna with an odyssey. Check Sienna reviews because it’s possible they’ve improved, but I would never buy any minivan besides the Odyssey at this point.
Anonymous says
Shoot. I hate to hear this because Odyssey has no plans for AWD and that is the only reason I’m considering the Sienna. Other Toyotas are so good (Highlander, Tacoma, etc.).
TheElms says
What about other larger midsize SUVs? The Atlas has a big third row, as does the Jeep Grand Cherokee L. My 6 foot + tall husband could sit in the third row in both, with car seats in the second row.
AwayEmily says
We have been on a waiting list for the hybrid AWD Sienna for eight months now. Sigh. We really need AWD sine we live in a super snowy area. I very much wish the Odyssey came with AWD — we are a Honda family (currently have a Fit and a CRV), but sadly AWD is non-negotiable when we are driving around our hilly, icy city with three kids.
Anyway if we ever get off the waiting list I will let you know how it is!
Snow tires? says
We have an Odyssey and live in a snowy area. We put snow tires on it in the winter and it works fine for us!
Not as good on the snow as my Subaru but nothing really is.
AwayEmily says
Good point, there are definitely people here who survive without AWD but our current non-AWD car has snow tires and still really struggles in the winter here (we’ve had to have people push us out several times). We are literally in the snowiest metropolitan area in the continental U.S., plus it’s a very hilly city, plus we are on a tiny street that gets plowed last. You’re probably right and we’d be fine but I’m a super cautious driver in general and would just rather go with the AWD.
Snow tires? says
Ah ok got it! We aren’t in a very hilly area which makes a huge difference too I think. I just like to mention snow tires because I’m shocked how many people in our area don’t even consider them. They aren’t as good as AWD but they do make a difference!
Anonymous says
FWIW we ski have a hilly driveway and drive an Odyssey. It stinks in the snow so we considered the Sienna. Friends of ours got the Sienna for the same reason and it really is no better in the snow, certainly not good enough to take up to the mountains to ski.
Our second car is an Acura MDX with AWD and that thing is a tank. Highly recommend. We have captains chairs and a 3rd row, which is not nearly as roomy as the minivan but fits 3 kids and a dog.
Anne-on says
Our second car is a 2011 MDX and agree that it’s a tank and with snow tires on (non negotiable for us with the MA snow and going skiing) it’s incredibly safe. Unfortunately I HATE the redesign and am dreading when it finally bites the dust and we have to replace it. We haven’t hit 100k miles yet so I’m hoping I have at least another 2 years to go.
Anonymous says
I’m in MA and I drive a 2010 MDX and an Odyssey! Go MDXers. Mine is 110k and while a bit fussy and a gas guzzler I love it so much. We have really good tires but not snow tires. We’ve taken it to Stowe, VT in a storm before. LOVE.
Meg says
Drove our 2006 mdx to 180k before we finally gave it up. So you may get more than 2 years out of it…
Sienna Mom says
I have a 2022 Hybrid Sienna XLE with AWD and I loooooove it! It is the most comfortable, practical vehicle I have ever driven. I test drove a new Odyssey and vastly preferred the Sienna. I reliably get 34 mpg on my high traffic commute. I haven’t done much that requires AWD, but did extensive research and there is a great video of a guy putting the AWD Sienna through its paces on a dirt mountain road and it performed way better than you’d ever think a minivan could.
Also, the fact that the middle seats can move forward and back very, very far is incredible for us tall people, and great for big convertible rear-facing car seats!
Ashley says
We have the Chrysler pacifica in AWD. Ours is not hybrid but there is a plug-in hybrid version! Just throwing out another minivan option.
Anon says
I have a hybrid Sienna that’s an AWD and it’s great. We put snow tires on it and it goes everywhere. We also have an older Odyssey (2014), and the Sienna is really nice. But it only sits 7 people, unlike our Odyssey. That’s my one complaint.
We had a Highlander, and it was not big enough. We have three kids (not that tall, but getting there) and two dogs, and the Sienna holds all of us reasonably comfortably with good cargo space. We also have a roof rack (from when we had the Highlander).
Mrs. Jones says
I have two pairs of these pants in black and wear them for work and play. Highly recommend.
AIMS says
How’s the sizing?
Mrs. Jones says
Normal I think. I am 5’7″, 143 lbs and wear a size 8 tall, and they cover my ankles.
AIMS says
Thanks!
2am party says
My 2 year old has been waking up between 2 and 3 am and staying awake until 5 or 5:30. I’m out of ideas. It’s like he thinks it’s morning. If I ignore him, he will scream and cry and wake up the whole house. If I bring him into our bed, he’s pretty quiet but squirms around playing. He goes to bed around 8pm so I can’t imagine he’s getting too much sleep.
Any ideas? I’m wondering if this is just a phase we have to live through but ugh, I am tired.
Anon says
Is he still napping during the day? Maybe time to drop it (I know, I know … I’m dreading that day, it’s the only weekend time where I get stuff done).
Anon says
+1 and dropping nap doesn’t have to be awful. You can enforce time alone in their room during what used to be nap time.
OP says
This is a good point. He just turned 2 and is a very solid napper. He’s in daycare and they won’t let us skip naptime (unfortunately!)
Anonymous says
We have a similar problem. No partying at 2 am, thankfully, but she doesn’t want to settle down in the evenings until after 9 pm. We can cap the nap on weekends (and she still needs about an hour and a half), but daycare won’t wake toddlers up unless they’ve hit 3 hours in their nap.
anon says
My sympathies. Also have a 2 year old with sleep issues. Some things that have helped: incentives (sticker chart and/or small treats in the morning like a donut hole) if they stay in bed. Pair that with an Ok to Wake clock. “If you stay in bed until the light turns green, you can have a donut in the morning!” Also, heavy, heavy praise for any time they improve. Also tried check ins, which definitely helped, too. None of these have completely solved the issue–still wakes up at 5:20-ish and needs a check in to go back to sleep until his light turns green but its better. We’ve been slowly moving the wake time back and are up to 5:55am! :)
anonM says
My 2yo went through some challenging stages like this too. It sometimes seems like it happens during a growth/learning/language stage. I would look at time/length of nap, too. It may be a phase. In the meantime, can you gate LO in their room? To get some rest for myself when it is clear 2yo won’t go back to bed, I have moved 4yo to sleep elsewhere, and then I sleep in the twin bed with 2yo allowed to play with some quiet cars or legos, and closed or gated the door. Their room is baby-proofed, so I know 2yo is safe. To me, it is better than rewarding midnight wakeups with special one-on-one time or TV time and avoids waking up everyone. (No judgment, I’ve done that too, but it seems to backfire on us long-term so not what I’d recommend!) When it goes on several nights DH and I trade off so we can kind of mentally prep for it/go to bed early. Good luck!
AwayEmily says
A general “sleep issues” recommendation…we have an extra mattress on the floor in the kids’ room. During the day it is great for tumbling practice (they particularly like to jump off the bunk bed onto it). but a side benefit is that it provides an actually-comfortable place for a grownup to sleep. The rule is that we will lay on the mattress til they fall asleep but if they talk/play/etc, we leave. Our presence is conditional on silence. Sometimes we do this at bedtime (like last night when my husband told them a scary story before bed and they needed someone to stay with them til they fell asleep) and sometimes in the middle of the night (like last week when the 4yo had a bad dream at 1am — I went in and immediately passed out on the mattress for three hours, then went back to my bed). It’s not really a “solution” per se but (especially with temporary problems) it makes things a bit easier for the parents. The down side is that our kids’ room kind of looks like a college flophouse, but whatever.
Anonymous says
My 5 year old asked for his own luggage. We rarely travel but I’d love to hear some recommendations for kids’ luggage.
Anon says
We got my then 3.5 year old a basic spinner from Target that she still uses. $50 and lots of fun patterns. Spinner wheels are a must have for younger kids, IMO. They can push it more easily than they can pull it.
Anon says
https://www.target.com/p/crckt-kids-39-hardside-carry-on-spinner-suitcase-pastel-rainbow-ombre/-/A-80183838
Boston Legal Eagle says
We got this or a very similar one from Target as well. My 6 year old was able to push it around the airport and various places when we took our most recent flight. I like the two separate compartments too – I started out by separating my two kids’ clothes, and at the end of the trip, used one compartment for dirty clothes (we washed some but not all halfway through) and the other for clean.
Spirograph says
We also have some soft-sided, two-wheeled kids suitcases that I think were from Target. They’re a few years old now and get tons of pretend play, in addition to legitimate use for traveling (we store them in the kids’ room where they’re easily accessible).
Spinner wheels might be easier to roll, but they also break much more easily since they’re all sticking out, unprotected, and my kids are rough on their things. I think my youngest was about 3 when he first got a suitcase; he pulled it through the airport passably, but I would have grabbed it, myself, if we’d needed to run to catch a flight!
anon says
When you do travel is it by car or plane? I like different things for weekend road trips vs 2-week stints moving around to a bunch of different European cities.
iifknew says
I’d love the recommendation for the 2 week stint!! I have a 5 and 3 year old..
Walnut says
Also interested. I’ve been hunting for a roller suitcases for my kids that is small enough to fit under the airplane seat so they can access it during the flight.
Something like this maybe, but it doesn’t seem quite right. https://www.amazon.com/Underseat-Luggage-Suitcase-Softside-Approved/dp/B09VSRHL4B
We currently pack all five of us in a giant checked luggage and carry on backpacks. Maybe that’s still my best solution?
Anon says
For a family of five, I think a giant checked luggage and backpacks for each person is the right solution until your kids are old enough to pull a normal adult-sized carry-on and then you switch to each person has their own carry-on and backpack. The backpack holds everything you need to access during the flight. I wouldn’t get “kid luggage” which is mostly a gimmick and doesn’t really hold anything and I wouldn’t get adult luggage until your kids are old enough to manage it themselves.
Anon says
We have three rolling bags from PBKids that have all held up great and that my kids have loved.
And my kids asked Santa for luggage, so I’m here for this request!
Anne-on says
We got my son his ‘own’ Monos carry on a few years ago and really like it. It’s a bit smaller than the carry on plus so I tend to borrow it for 1-2 night trips by car or train. I travel a decent amount so I like to have options – this size (or even the hybrid carry on size) would also be good for European trips where you have smaller overhead bins. The handle has different height settings and you can stuff a good amount in there so it’s usable for longer vs. the cutesy (and tiny) kid luggage at PB kids.
anon. says
Look at Macy’s. We got some expensive set (I think $180 full price which is outrageous) with the backpack and spinner luggage marked down to $60. The brand is “Travelers Club.” It has held up very well for our 5 yo. including internationally and he likes all the coordinating pieces.
ifiknew says
Best kids headphones for long flights? They are 5 and 3. Also looking for recommendations on suitcases, games, shows that dont need wifi and audiobooks for this age group.. It’s a long international flight so I’m not sure my 3 year old can be trusted to wheel his own bag depending on how tired he is? Thoughts?
Anon says
No, a 3 year old probably can’t wheel a suitcase even when they’re not tired. You’ll be doing well if they can walk through the airport independently with a small backpack. Even at 5 I feel like it’s somewhat iffy depending on the kid and the distance involved. Of course if you’re in any kind of hurry, that makes it even harder for them to independently carry their bags. I commented above about the Target carry on we have for my kid (and I got one for myself too). They’re not large but have always been ok for me for trips of 1 week or less. We rarely travel for longer than that. It’s not hard for me to push two of them at once.
Most kids that age will be entertained well by screens. I travel a ton (including solo) with my 4.5 year old and since age 3 we rarely bring any entertainment for the plane other than a tablet, one or two books and one stuffed animal. On red-eye flights to Europe or home from Hawaii, we don’t even bring out the tablet. She knows the rule is that we talk/read/play until dinner is served, eat dinner and then attempt to sleep until breakfast, and she usually does a decent job sleeping. On westbound flights, she watches the TV most of the time although sometimes she’ll take breaks to nap, talk to us, read or play pretend.
I’m here for headphone recs. My kid hates her current headphones because they’re always slipping off.
NYCer says
+1 to all of this. You can download shows on Amazon Prime, Netflix and Disney+ so they can be watched without wifi. We have random over the ear headphones that I bought on Amazon that seem fine for my daughter.
We still use a travel stroller (yoyo) for our 3yo in the airport, but YMMV on that. She also has a small back-pack, but only wants to carry it for about 5 minutes.
Anon says
Yeah, I think you may to consider bringing a stroller for the 3 year old, particularly if you have a connecting flight after a long-haul international flight. My 4 year old had an epic meltdown in the Munich airport after a red-eye and completely refused to walk. And we had flown business class and gotten decent sleep (decent by adult standards, i.e., ~6 hours, which is nowhere near enough sleep for a preschooler).
Anon says
+1 to leaving behind extra toys/games/etc. We do a sketch pad, a new pen, a book, and a tablet at 3+. On long flights, we travel with a packable blanket, and on all flights, I bring a ziplock bag of their favorite snacks. I also bring an empty water bottle that I fill up after security. Inevitably, my kids are starving and thirsty right as we are taxing to take off. A high value bag of snacks has saved many a long flight (also comes in handy when they are bored waiting in line at customs, security, etc.).
When my kids were 3 and 5 and we traveled internationally, I brought a double umbrella stroller. Yes, the 5 year old was old to be strolled, but there are SO MANY LINES. Stroller keeps bored, tired kids from crashing into other people in lines/collapsing into kid puddles by giving them a place to sit and watch their tablets while you wait. You can also hang backpacks from the handles/stow stuff underneath. Also, YMMV, but my kids were still runners at age 3 (or needed to be carried when they got tired), and a stroller kept them corralled.
Spirograph says
There are Sony over-the-head headphones on Amazon for about $20. That’s what we have for long trips, and we just got a few more pair to leave at school. They’re not noise cancelling, so the kid will probably have to crank the volume a bit to be audible over engine roar, but they’re adjustable and very user-friendly for young kids.
Anon says
We also use Sony ones – I think we got them for $10 at Best Buy. (My kids use them with MP3 players in the car and at school. They seem comfortable and pretty durable)
AnonATL says
Netflix, prime, and pbs kids all let you download things temporarily for offline viewing.
Anon says
Disney+ allows this too. Also on an international flight you’ll have in-seat entertainment with a huge selection of kids stuff.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We got these for a recent flight: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07LGRZGVJ?ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details&th=1
Kids seemed fine with them, although boredom did set in for the last hour, although I don’t think that was the headphones’ fault. My almost 4 year old didn’t carry or push anything himself, but maybe your kid is more willing. They each had an iPad each and a few sticker/activity books.
Anon says
No recommendations, but thank you for getting your kids headphones!! Your fellow travelers will be very grateful. I always see lots of cute over-the-ear ones around these days and I think the ones with volume control (that the parent can set) are probably the safest.
Anon says
Ugh this is an ongoing battle with my husband. He thinks it’s acceptable for kids to watch tablets on low volume without headphones and I completely disagree.
Anon says
Nope nope nope nope. One of my BIGGEST pet peeves. I don’t know if I have super sonic hearing, but tell your husband I promise I can hear it and I don’t want to.
Anon says
You’re preaching to the choir here. I totally agree with you. He just won’t be convinced. And worse he makes me the bad guy with our kids and tells them they only have to wear headphones because I say so. That’s probably a separate issue, but still. So annoying.
Anon says
Possibly overstepping here, but…..is he like this in other ways? On every level (from how he is talking about it with the kids, to the issue itself), seems wildly selfish.
Anonymous says
Next time you have them using headphones in public while your husband is there, I volunteer to come up and compliment them on how polite they are for using their headphones nicely.
Anon says
No offense taken. If someone else posted this I would be like “OMG what a jerk divorce him” so I get it. To answer your question, no, he’s normally not selfish or thoughtless at all. On the specific headphone issue, I think he’s slightly hard of hearing and I think he genuinely isn’t bothered by other people (especially kids) watching videos without headphones so he just doesn’t “get it.” On the broader issue of blaming me for enforcing rules, that is definitely a bigger picture struggle. He doesn’t believe in discipline and chores as much as I do, and it’s a ongoing challenge to get him to present a united front with me to the kids on those issues. But he doesn’t normally directly me undermine me like he does with the headphones. I don’t know why that’s such a thing for him, but it is.
Anon says
Thanks for taking my comment in the spirit it was intended!! Differences in how to execute chores are hard. My husband used to always take over when the kids when the kids would be doing dishes or other chores b/c they are slow or messy. Or he would do things for them that they were clearly capable of doing themselves. I would get so frustrated because all he was teaching them was that if you do a bad job, someone else will take over and fix it. He was just thinking about it in the short term – it’s after dinner, we’re all tired, let’s just be done. We eventually compromised, and now when the kids have dish duty, we finish eating really early. Or, honestly, I have them do the dishes when he’s not home for dinner that night. Yes, it takes longer, but it’s a process, and the only way to learn how to do it – is to actually do it!!
Liza says
Has he talked to literally any other adult about this? Does he have friends with kids? Or just, friends, whose opinion he can ask about this? I can’t imagine any sane adult would say “Oh sure, I don’t mind hearing random kids’ devices!”
No one but the rudest, most negligent boors allow their kids to use devices with the sound on in public. If my kids forget their headphones, guess what – they have to watch a show or play a game with the sound off. Natural consequences. It is never okay.
This goes for adults listening to stuff out loud on their devices, too. Could this be why your husband is anti-headphones, because he himself doesn’t use them or want to?
Anon says
He always uses headphones himself, but doesn’t mind when others don’t. I think he’s slightly hard of hearing, or at least his hearing is not as good as mine.
So Anon says
Hi there – I have most definitely let my kids use a device in public with the sound on. It drives me crazy but that’s where things land sometimes. If the choice is between a fully melting down child and the quiet din of a kid’s show, I will pick the kid’s show for my child and other kids too. Are there alternative ways to occupy a child – maybe? But not always. And you don’t always know what issues may be going on just by the appearance of the child and/or parent.
Anon says
So Anon, that’s why you bring headphones for your kid! It’s the only solution that solves the problem for all parties – and it’s an easy, affordable one.
So Anon says
Not when you have a child that cannot wear headphones. Not everyone’s disabilities are visible.
Anon says
I’m not sure I agree that having a disability that makes wearing headphones challenging (because it’s not that he literally “can’t” it’s that he struggles with it, right?) gives you a free pass to watching TV with sound on. I am also in the camp that if you can’t or won’t wear headphones, you don’t use screens or you watch without sound. I certainly don’t enjoy hearing kids have meltdowns, but truthfully I would judge a parent a lot less for having a kid screaming about not being allowed to watch TV than for having a kid watching TV without headphones. I feel like in the former situation parents are at least trying to be respectful of others and pretty much every parent has had their kid lose their $hit in public about something.
Anonymous says
As the parent of a child with multiple invisible disabilities, I respectfully disagree with the contention that a disability is a free pass to disturb others. Honestly, I think the labeling of disabilities has gone too far. Some of the things currently called “disabilities” are really just individual challenges or personality differences that a person needs to learn to live with in a productive way. I don’t let my kid bother other people, full stop. If my kid can’t handle a situation, then I don’t put them in that situation.
So Anon says
No. He cannot. Nor is it your place to make that call.
Please explain to me why and how it is appropriate to judge another person’s disability? And how anyone – other than the disabled person and their parent, if a minor – gets to differentiate between “can’t” and “struggle.” Let’s take this in terms of a physical disability: Sure, someone may struggle to get a wheel chair up a steep ramp, but they “can” do it, so that should be ok? Or someone struggles to read lips but they “can” do it, so no need to provide a sign language interpreter. Or a child with asthma “can” breathe in air near someone has smoked, but they will struggle to breathe, so no need to have people abstain from smoking.
Parents of kids with disabilities get judged a lot. We are used to it. Realize, though, that you may not know the full picture, and be aware that the abelism gets passed down to the next generation.
Anonymous says
I don’t think it’s ableism to ask you not to turn on the sound if your child cannot or will not wear headphones or to provide him with another form of entertainment. There is no such thing as a disability that requires one to watch television in public.
Anonymous says
Courtesy and regard for others =//= ableism.
Anon says
“There is no such thing as a disability that requires one to watch television in public.” – yup. This isn’t ableism and I say this as someone with a completely invisible disability. If headphones aren’t an option, then the sound stays off in public.
So Anon says
True. There is no disability that requires watching tv in public, but that is a false equivalency. A disabled person has a right to take public transit. Some disabled people find public transit incredibly overwhelming, which overwhelm is a direct result of the disability. That person may f a familiar tv show/song/podcast/auditory noise necessary to distract from the overwhelm, which is a result of the disability. That person may be unable to wear headphones without further increasing the overwhelm. That person needs to hear the noise to use public transit.
But, in the end, have a little compassion and understand that most people/parents are doing the best and all that they can to navigate the world.
Anon says
Yeah, I agree about disability not being a free pass to bother others. Many kids who don’t have a diagnosis have significant sensory or behavioral challenges (I have one such kid), and even within a particular diagnosis like autism there is a huge spectrum in terms of what kids’ challenges are and how severe they are. It doesn’t seem fair to say “kids with XYZ diagnosis don’t have to wear headphones” when there are likely many kids with the disability who can wear them and many who don’t have an official diagnosis who really struggle to. My (apparently) neurotypical kid really hates wearing them and often flings them off because she doesn’t like the feeling of them on her head. We have tried several brands to find the least bad one for her, but mostly we find ourselves repeating “no headphones, no sound” over and over again. Most of the time she opts to put them back on, but there have been times that we have to turn off the sound or take away the tablet. And yes, sometimes a meltdown ensues, but that’s part of parenting. I understand the argument that meltdowns bother people more than TV at a low volume, I think there’s a difference between intentionally choosing to bother people and inadvertently bothering people as the consequence of enforcing reasonable boundaries with your kid.
Anon says
Yeesh, your husband is wrong. We flew a lot this summer, and I would say that on 70% of our flights, the attendants announced before we even took off that you had to use earphones, regardless of how low your volume was set. I saw two passengers almost come to blows on another flight b/c someone wouldn’t use ear phones. I am tolerant of just about everything when I fly — it’s stressful for everyone, some people are SUPER anxious about it — but I have zero tolerance for a low din or whine of a kids show in the background. Yes, everyone around you can hear it – even if it’s really low, and yes, it drives us all crazy. My only exception is if your child is unable to wear headphones, and you let your seatmates/surrounding passengers know ahead of time. But, yeah, just willingly skipping the headphones is not okay.
Liza says
Honestly IMO even if the kid is unable to wear headphones (?) it’s still not ok to play the sound out loud. Find another way for the child to pass the time, or have them watch with the sound off.
Anon says
I feel the exact same way.
Anon says
Yep, that’s the rule in my book – no headphones, no sound, no exceptions (for adults and kids alike).
Anon says
Any kids headphones with bluetooth! So much easier than having to deal with cords.
Liza says
Gentle disagree to say, Bluetooth headphones run out of batteries! My 6 YO can only use corded headphones bc she simply cannot remember to charge Bluetooth ones. My 8 YO faithfully keeps hers charged or uses her tablet without sound if they’re out of battery. Depends on your kid, but definitely on a long plane ride, I wouldn’t risk it.
Anonymous says
Some Bluetooth headphones can be used with a cord when the battery runs out!
Anon says
….unless they want to watch something on the airplane entertainment system and need an old school plug in. (And the free ones handed out likely won’t work for a 3 year old).
Anon says
My kid used the free earbud ones at age 3. Her headphones didn’t connect to the plane’s entertainment system and she really wanted to watch the Paw Patrol movie :)
CCLA says
Just did decently long travel (not quite as long as you) with 3.5 and 5.5 yo. My recs are:
1. Whatever suitcase they will be interested in and is not too huge. We got them the small size ones from PBK. Older DD was great with hers, just needed a little help getting it onto an escalator. Younger DD was OK for a bit but couldn’t keep pace so ultimately DH and I took turns wheeling hers too, which was fine. But plan to need an extra hand for that. I really like not dealing with a stroller but I’m sure we got a few extra whines – OK tradeoff in my book.
2. Puro headphones for kids if you can stomach the price. They are bluetooth and are volume limiting and noise cancelling. We’ve used them on roadtrips and flights and love them. By age 3 they have been able to mostly get them back in place, only occasionally does the younger kid accidentally turn hers off.
3. Know your kid, but our older one would watch movies or tv for hours on end if allowed, so we just downloaded a bunch of shows for her from disney+ and she went the whole 6 hour flight (we screwed up the download on the way back, thankfully still had enough shows left on the downloaded list, but check to make sure you’ve downloaded them properly!). Younger DD also enjoyed stickers and paper/activity books. Like way more stickers than you would think they could possibly use. We didn’t bring water wow books this time but those have been hits before. Agree with others that less is more. 99% of the time we just travel with stuffy and ipad for each.
Anon says
For great build quality, but pricey, Puro BT 2200s with the over the ear cups (you have to buy the over the ear separately). On the cheaper end, Jlab Jbuddies Pro over ear work great for my 5YO (those are wired, not BT). We found out that the reason my kid doesn’t often wear headphone is they were hurting her ears with the on-ear models (we figured it out when she tried on my adult over ear headphones).
AwayEmily says
Does anyone have a specific recommendation for a kids weighted blanket? Probably looking for something around 5lbs, kid in question is 4.5. Thanks!
Anon says
i just got one for my 4.25 year old twins from target with unicorns and rainbows on it. they are fans so far
Anonymous says
We really like Target’s Threshold weighted blanket with removable cover for adults, so I’d try one of the kid-sized ones from Pillowfort. Removable, washable cover is key.
Anon says
Good call on washable. We have a lovely one from Amazon, but had to pitch it after a middle of the night puking episode.
Anonymous says
On that note, the cover on the Pillowfort one is waterproof.
Bedtime podcasts says
I remember a while ago there were recommendations for soothing (preferably slightly boring!) bedtime podcasts. Something about a train one… Does that ring a bell for anyone? Kiddo loves podcasts at bedtime but is hooked on ones that are waaaaaaay to fascinating and result in staying up too late. My efforts to find calm/meditative-type versions have failed. Hoping someone here has better ideas!
Anonymous says
Headspace has sleepcasts, I think they may have some geared toward children as well. I love them for a boring story I can fall asleep to.
Anon says
The Calm app has a ton of train sleep stories and kids ones as well (they may have kid train stories, IDK). My insurance covers it (maybe it’s like $70/yr otherwise?) and a lot of employee assistance programs do as well.
Pogo says
They have kids sleep stories. Minions, Transformers, My Little Pony are three of the “brand name” ones that my kid is into.
Anon says
Re: the discussion the other day about moms not getting complimented as much as dads, I traveled alone with my 4 year old over the holiday weekend and got several compliments from people on my kid’s behavior (which was better than average, but not angelic) and my parenting. It really meant a lot to me and reminded me that I should compliment other moms more.
Liza says
Good for you! You have the absolute right to be proud.
Anonymous says
Today is the first day of school. I enjoyed the quiet house but am dreading the inevitable restraint collapse meltdown when they arrive home. Sigh. Wish me strength.
Anonymous says
Follow up on being frustrated with my spouse for carrying the load while he’s still recovering from COVID.
Just acknowledging how much it sucked that I wasn’t able to rest and recuperate helped me be kinder. I also finally am back in the office and kids are back at school and childcare so everything is better.
Thank you all hive for just… listening.
Anon says
It’s tough. I empathize with you a lot. And maybe your husband should have stepped up more when you had it? I feel like a spouse getting hit hard with Covid is a good excuse for canceling or returning home early from a work trip. But it really does hit different people so differently. My husband had like a cold and never stopped his intense exercise regime. My best friend couldn’t get out of bed for two weeks. I don’t think she’s lazier than he is (the opposite actually), she just got way sicker.