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Updated: Jun 15, 2021 109 Comments · by

Washable Workwear Wednesday: Batik Floral Tie-Back Puff-Sleeve Top

Machine-Washable Work Clothes· Recent Recs

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Woman wearing a Batik Floral Tie-Back Puff-Sleeve Top

Maybe it’s the warm weather, abundant sunshine, or just getting out and about again, but I’m really drawn to floral prints right now.

This blouse from Ann Taylor hits all the right notes — along with a tropical floral print, it features puff sleeves, a flattering shirred neckline, and a pretty tie back.

The relaxed fit will pair well with a pencil skirt for the office or capris for the weekend. The unique colors are also easy to match — I’d wear this with burgundy as pictured, but if you want to go brighter, white, teal, or periwinkle would also work. As with many of Ann Taylor’s pieces, it’s machine washable, so no worries if you accidentally spill your morning coffee (or one of those fun drinks with an umbrella) on it.

This blouse from Ann Taylor is $74.50 and available in XXS–XXL.

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About Ann

Ann is a working mom, a longtime reader of Corporette and CorporetteMoms, and has been writing our morning fashion advice for working moms since November 2020! She has a daughter (born winter 2014) and a son (born fall 2019) and is a public interest lawyer in Washington, D.C.

Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    DC area moms or those that visited recently! I will have my 3 and 4 year olds home for a week in August, and am brainstorming fun ways to spend it (fingers crossed most things will be open by then). So far I’m thinking Planet Word museum, butterfly exhibit at the museum of natural history, splash pool at yards park, maybe the zoo (although we go there a lot on weekends), and a u pick farm if I can find one. We also have a public pool nearby. I’m in the capitol hill area so it’s pretty easy to get downtown and to all the museums, but am open to exploring other areas of the city if you can think something fun I have missed!

    • Spirograph says

      I highly recommend Larriland as a u pick farm. It doesn’t have playgrounds/slides/etc like Butler’s does, but I enjoy it being less kitsch and also less crowded. I’m sure you know this, but worth mentioning in case anyone is visiting DC this summer: all the Smithsonians are doing time entry tickets and they seem to get booked WAY in advance for the most popular museums.
      Renwick Gallery is on my list, the Janet Echelman exhibit looks awesome and kid-friendly.
      A little outside of DC, but the College Park Airport Museum is great for preschoolers, much less crowded and overwhelming than Air and Space.
      Paddleboats on the Potomac or at the Tidal Basin?
      Hiking in Great Falls. NOT the Billy Goat Trails with a 3 and 4 year old, but there are nice, flat trails on the MD side along the old canal route.

      • Anonymous says

        Udvar Hazy Air and Space near Dulles Airport is really fun for that age, and very safe from a COVID perspective since the space is so enormous and they do timed entry.

    • Anon says

      sort of hijacking this post, but going to visit my parents with my 3 year old twins who live in Montgomery County near Cabin John Park this summer. Ideas for things to do out there as well?

      • Spirograph says

        Just spend all your time at Cabin John Park, you can’t go wrong :) There’s a miniature train, great playgrounds, ice rink if you need some really good air conditioning… everything in this thread will be applicable, too. DC is close!

        • Anonymous says

          +1 and check out locust grove nature center (within cabin John park). They have a natural playground, hiking trails good for kids, and a creek they can play in

    • Anon says

      I’m pretty sure the butterfly exhibit is closed at the moment. Also, zoo tickets are reasonably easy to get for weekdays, but if you want 11am tickets for any of the Smithsonians downtown (for my 3 and 4 yos if we don’t get there at 11 it messes with naps) you need to book exactly 30 days out when they release them.

    • Anonymous says

      Are you up for day trips outside of the city? Watkins Mill Regional Park in Upper Marlboro is Wizard of Oz themed and probably one of the most on-themed/coolest playgrounds ever. They have animals (including peacocks!) at the little Maryland farm, a carousel, and a train. I’m in MoCo and these are places we regularly go – Annapolis to get lunch, watch boats, and get ice cream. Greenbrier State Park in Hagerstown has a wonderful lake with 3 nice beaches. Matapeak Beach on Kent Island is on my list for this summer. Other local beaches include flag ponds and Calvert cliffs.

    • Anonymous says

      You could hit up lots of different playgrounds w/splash pads for a change of scenery.

      Cabin John park, mentioned above. And Wheaton park also has a train and carousel.

      Museum of the American Indian has a nice kids area that tends to be less crowded. Not sure what it’s like with COVID but their cafeteria is amazing.

    • Anon says

      Clark Elioak farm and Brookside Gardens and nature center right outside DC in MD are both awesome.

  2. anon says

    We are going to be driving from CT to philadelphia this weekend, and I would love some recommendations in Philly (or on the way!) on things to do with kids (8 and 3) (preferrably outdoors). Thanks!

    • PistachioLemon says

      Diggerland! Pretty near Philly in NJ. My kids love it as you can operate real diggers.

    • Anon says

      Magic Gardens (in the city itself), Longwood Gardens (outside Philly), Spruce Street Harbor Park is great (not sure if it is operating this summer)

  3. Anon - infertility resources says

    Not a mom but hoping for advice from anyone who has been down a similar path: after a disheartening year I’m about to start infertility treatment (IUI with plan to progress to IVF if no luck). I’m having trouble finding resources that can provide clear, accurate descriptions of the stages ahead. Any suggestions for particularly helpful resources? Message boards totally overwhelm me with acronyms and cutesy terms, but medical websites haven’t provided the level of tactical information I would like (i.e., how frequently will I be going to the doctor at each of the next potential stages? what meds are pills vs. injection? what does the procedure entail?). Separately, I’d love any advice for how to handle this emotionally – this experience has absolutely gutted me.

    • Anonymous says

      Your best source will be your doctor, since every body and treatment plan is different. My clinic was happy to schedule me for a consult with a nurse to talk through this stuff. I also cannot more strongly recommend going to therapy/ if your clinic does not have a therapist on staff they should be able to refer you.

      • Anon - infertility resources says

        OP here – definitely getting therapy already. Good tip about leveraging the practice nurses more, had not thought about that. I often feel like I’m kind of going into tunnel vision whenever I’m in visits getting the latest bad news and then having lots of questions later when it’s too late to ask. This sounds like a good way to resolve it. Thank you!

        • Anonymous says

          Oh same! Totally normal and common to need to call back to ask more questions.

        • Anon in Boston says

          I aggressively contact my office for information. After some things falling through the cracks, I’m kind but unapologetic about being persistent. Daily calls, sometimes 3x depending on time sensitivity, until I get an answer. I also push to make sure my doctor is specifically weighing in and it’s not just the nurse on call that is telling me what’s what. I took this tactic way too late in my treatment. Would have saved me a lot of time/angst to be more on top of them.

    • Pogo says

      Hi, been there. Agree that it depends on your doctor and your diagnosis, but here was my experience with PCOS/anovulation:
      1) Clomid + monitoring was taking a pill, then ultrasounds every other day as I was getting closer to trigger. Trigger with a shot. Scheduled s*x. Never worked.
      2) Went straight to IVF since I knew I didn’t ovulate (IUI can be more helpful for male factor), which involved injections to stimulate ovulation, then a different shot for suppression, then a trigger shot (lots of shots basically). Ultrasounds every other day or even every day as you get close. Retrieval is an outpatient procedure with heavy sedation, but you feel mostly fine after unless you have complications (like I did).
      3) Transfer, if you can do it the same month, involves no more drugs but just an outpatient procedure to transfer the embryo.
      4) If you have to delay to another month, you will need to likely take a pill again and possibly a shot to trigger (depends on your protocol). You will also need every other day or possibly every day ultrasounds as you get close.

      Toughest thing for me was not being able to predict out weeks in advance because my cycle was never regular and I didn’t always respond the way you’d expect to the drugs (but that was my PCOS, depending on your diagnosis you might have much less of a struggle with that). I travelled a lot for work at the time so that was VERY stressful. The transfer that resulted in my older son was carried out less than 12 hours after I landed from a work trip. It is very hard, and I never believed it, but you WILL forget how awful it all is someday. Hugs.

      • anon says

        Yes, it fades incredibly fast. I realized this going back for second kid when it all came flooding back and I was amazed just how much of the stress and the scheduling and the physicality of it was completely out of mind.

        Experiences vary widely, even for the same person. I had one IUI cycle where I had a single monitoring appointment, but it was more common for me to have two, and the most recent cycle that worked I had four since the eggs took forever, which I was incredibly annoyed about at the time. And IVF monitoring can range from 6-14 monitoring appointments for a fresh cycle, I was told, though it’s most commonly something in the low-middle of that range.

        Is your nurse available by email? That is pretty standard for fertility clinics, AFAIK. There are just a lot of detailed questions that come up and that need an answer in under 24 hours. Mine got back to me quickly on all sorts of things.

    • Anon in Boston says

      Hi OP – I’m in the heat of it now (IVF FET transfer is on Friday, yay!). I’m underlying PCOS and some other things that were anatomically wrong with my uterus that were repaired with surgery in 2017. No male factor. We successfully had DD #1 with an IUI in 2018. I’m trying for #2 now. 3 failed IUIs and now on IVF, 4th go at FET is this Friday.

      Physically there are some low points in the whole process – needles, hormones… constipation!! But mentally it’s the absolute pits. I call it mental whiplash – good news one day, or feeling like you finally understand what’s happening, nd the next day I’m sobbing on my ride home from the office because something took a turn (aka me last Thursday), only to find out the next day it’s actually ok again. It’s very isolating, even with the most supportive spouse.

      It’s incredibly overwhelming and, honestly, my fertility clinic was a terrible resource. They are a high volume clinicy at a major hospital in Boston and, well, they suck at communication. It’s taken a lot of time to parse through the posts, but the Infertility sub on reddit has been a fantastic resource. I legit didn’t know what reddit was before being pointed there by someone here, actually. They have an ‘FAQ’ tab that is where I spend 99% of my time. So much good information, science based and none of that baby dust BS you get on other message boards.

      Where are you located? I’ve never done this before but I’d be happy to come up with a burner email and see if we can connect offline. I too was (am still!!) very overwhelmed by message boards and the acronyms and what have you. Let me know if you’re interested, but no pressure. Best of luck to you.

      • Anon says

        Sending you lots of positive energy for your transfer! We also went through IVF in Boston (MGH) – we have one child, and will be returning to MGH for subsequent children (we banked embryos due to my age when we started). Also agree re: Reddit Infertility sub.

      • Anon - infertility resources says

        Thank you very much. I will create a burner email and post back here (but will likely be late late tonight), in case you have a chance to check back tomorrow and reach out. I am also in Boston – using Boston IVF, at the recommendation of my doctor. Hopefully they will work out for me. Wishing you good luck for later this week.

        • Anon in Boston says

          Fantastic! I’ll check back tonight. My sister has had two successful pregnancies with Boston IVF and is working on #3. I have them on standby if my current cycle fails and I intend to move there.

          • Anon - Infertility resources says

            Thank you, that gives me so much hope. Burner email is below; remove the spaces.

            evergreen stripes @ g m a i l . c o m

          • Anon - infertility resources says

            I think my earlier message got caught but my burner email is:
            evergreen stripes (without space) at google email

          • OP says

            Looks like my attempts to post this last night didn’t work. My burner email is evergreen stripes (without spaces), at the mail beginning with g

    • KW says

      Some of the answers to these questions apparently vary by clinic. We did IVF for our second kiddo, and I remember doing what you’re doing – googling so many different questions, particularly timelines and things like that. But, for example, some doctors do progesterone suppositories and some do injections. Some do birth control pills at the very beginning of the IVF process, and some don’t. So your best resource will be your doctor’s office specifically. And also, many of your questions will be answered along the way, but I understand how hard it is to be patient through the process. Do you have any friends or family who have also undergone fertility treatment? One of my friends had done IVF and was one of my best supports/sounding boards. I would also rely on your partner if you have one because I recall DH feeling somewhat disconnected from the process at times. Otherwise, yes a good therapist is probably your best option.

      • Pogo says

        oh man totally forgot about the progesterone suppositories!!! So gross. It used to all come out in a giant clump after I went running. I had to be on it til the second trimester both times!

    • Anon in Boston says

      I have a longer response in mod. Hopefully you get it soon. Where are you located?

    • Anon says

      I will echo what others have said here. The nurses at the doctor’s office were an incredible resource for me. Lean on their expertise. At my clinic at least, they made the IUIs and IVF cycle logistically very easy with clear instructions on what to do when. Their job is to get people through this. I would also say to take it one day and one procedure at a time. (Easier said than done, I know, especially if you are a planner.) The emotions, yeah, that is the hardest part I think. It is overwhelming and stressful to feel like your whole life hinges on one medical procedure. Be kind to yourself and plan ways to decompress in advance, especially during the two week wait. Treat yourself when necessary. Find support with people you trust. Know that there might be hard days but that you will get through them. Best of luck to you!!

    • IVF is a necessary evil says

      Look at the CDCs ART success rate data. You really want to go to the best clinic possible that you can get to/afford. It’s not presented in the most user friendly way but they have an excel file that has metrics for basically every facility in America that does these procedures, so you can see how many procedures of the type you are seeking they do and what their success rate it. The success rates very wildly so it’s important to choose wisely.

      Will drop the link in the next message to avoid mod.

      I really regret wasting time and painful IVF cycles with a mediocre doctor in our area that we got on some anecdotal referrals.

    • Anon Lawyer says

      If you want an online forum, the Reddit Infertility board is probably your best bet – they ban all cutesy terms and are pretty science focused. That said, I think whether or not that is helpful for you is going to depend a LOT on the person. But for me, it helped me understand what I was getting into.

      But I also agree that the nurses at the clinic should be able to give you detailed info too! Especially with IUI, it varies a lot by clinic.

      Emotionally – therapy! A therapist who specializes in infertility is SO helpful. I found IUI harder than IVF in some ways because you have less info – you are literally kind of throwing stuff in to see what sticks and you expect to have to repeat it more times. So i think preparing yourself for the long haul is good even though it may be much quicker than you expect.

    • AnonATL says

      Not an IVF mama, but I just wanted to chime in and say good luck and best wishes! Hope you will be joining this board as a regular poster soon.

      • Anon - infertility resources says

        OP here. Thank you so much. I can’t tell you how much just having your kind thoughts means.

    • Patricia Gardiner says

      Hiiii. It’s the WORST. I did 5 egg retrievals, and now fortunately have 2 wonderful children. As others have said, the pain does fade eventually… but my 3-year journey with infertility was such a terrible time in my life (second only to losing my beloved father).

      I lurked on the reddit infertility message boards and learned a lot from there; it was helpful knowing there were so many others going through it.

      I’m glad you have a therapist. I found one that specifically focused on infertility which was good. I also did acupuncture and my acupuncturist was kind of like another therapist- someone else “on my team” I could talk to.

      I ended up going on a tiny dose of sertraline which helped tremendously, and it was considered safe by my RE.

      Not sure if you will find it helpful but check out Roseanne Austin- I found some of her stuff comforting.

      It’s so much more common than you might think- if you have any friends who have been in a similar situation, it may be helpful to talk to them if you are up for it. Two women with whom I bonded over fertility stuff are now close friends.

      Hang in there. This internet stranger is sending you hugs and believes in you. Sending all the good vibes your way.

    • Anon - infertility resources says

      Thank you all so much for the thoughtful responses. It means so much to me. I skimmed them quickly but am bookmarking to come back and read later tonight and over the process ahead. Really, really appreciate it.

    • Anonymous says

      I found the Reddit infertility group helpful but there are a lot of “never give up” types that I considered toxic positivity. It isn’t going to work for everyone and that’s a reality that’s easier to face from the beginning.

      I posted about this in response to someone else not long ago but if I could do mine all again, I wouldn’t want to know the results daily because they are all meaningless until fertilization – unless there was info I needed to know in order to make a medical decision. It was a roller coaster of ups and downs for numbers of follicles, number of eggs, number of embryos. I spent so much time researching and worrying and wondering when really, it was all out of my control and I couldn’t do anything with the info. Monday’s info had no impact on Wednesday’s info. If I did it again, I would just want to know at the end how many fertilized embryos I ended up with. Then, if we weren’t successful, I’d do a backwards review of info like number of healthy eggs in order to evaluate future protocols. I think I could have saved myself a lot of emotional distress.

    • Anonymous says

      So late to this but check out the infertility subreddit on Reddit. They have a really good “wiki” with threads about various stages on the process where people write in with their experiences. They also have daily threads where you can ask questions that I find helpful for questions big and small. Very science oriented, no toxic positivity allowed. It’s the only internet source I find helpful.

  4. Anonymous says

    DH has been WFH since March of last year. Our youngest is still in daycare and he’s been helping out with dropoffs, though I typically do it. Today, he did it and youngest had a Major Meltdown, which is pretty atypical for her though was extremely common for my older two kids (now happily in elem school). He got home at 9:15 vs the typical 8:30 and looked like he was hit by a tornado. “It was awful!” “It was embarrassing” “My morning is ruined” “I can’t believe I had to deal with this.”

    I gave him a hug, let him sulk a bit, and then let him know that was my entire life of doing 5 years of daycare dropoffs for my older two. Like, 2-3 times per week for 5 straight years. He had always heard me complain about it but this pandemic has done wonders for his ability to truly empathize with the kid stuff I dealt with on a daily basis while he caught the 6:45am train. Like, as we talk about him returning to the office (I’ve worked from home since 2011) he is scheduling everything around kid dropoff, soccer practices, half day fridays, the works. We’ve talked about it for years but it really did take a pandemic for him to be in my shoes and really, finally understand.

    • Pogo says

      DH always says this too when he has a bad dropoff. I promise him it happens to everyone and that no one is looking at him like “omg what a bad parent”.

    • Anonymous says

      We had the same thing! Due to office locations I always did both drop off and pick up, but now since we both work from home my husband does pick up and it has been AMAZING for me mentally. He was always understanding of the burden, but doing it day and in out I think really drove home how not fun it can be (although it can also be fun when the kids are in good moods, to be fair). He wanted to go back to the office one day a week (for no reason, in my opinion), and I was pretty adamant he had to keep doing pick-up.

  5. Fibit says

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  6. Anonymous says

    Jumping off the previous post about husbands experiencing more of what we’ve been dealing with … This sort of thing has happened with us too during the pandemic, but it hasn’t really made my husband feel good — I think it makes him feel like he’s weaker than I am because taking care of our kid takes such a toll on him that it doesn’t seem to do to me. He’s been great about trying to split stuff more equally, but I think he’s just been run down by the past year and hasn’t found a way to recharge his batteries. Any suggestions?

    • Pogo says

      We’ve struggled with this, too. For my husband, getting out for a run or bike ride helps. He’s started going out after the kids are in bed now that it is light out later – this has really helped. We also have each tried to have some time with friends, he went camping overnight with a couple guys recently. Now that all adults that we know are vaccinated that is a lot easier!

    • Anonymous says

      Wait, what? Your husband can’t handle a lighter dose of what you usually deal with and needs a special break to recharge? He shouldn’t get any more recharge privileges than you do.

      • More Sleep Would Be Nice says

        People are who they are, and need what they need (within reason). DH is a better husband, father, etc. when he has more recharge time, and yes he needs more than me. For MDW, he went on a trip for the weekend and someone mentioned “oh how generous of you”.

        I don’t see it like that. I also know if I wanted a weekend away, it would be possible (although hard/not enjoyable for me right now because I’m nursing) I’d rather facilitate a way for us both to have what we need than split everything 50/50 all the time just because it’s “equal”.

        • Anon says

          +1 This year has been brutal for almost all of us. I also think it’s more common/acceptable for women to have spaces to vent and find encouragement – like this forum – while men are trying to process feelings and deal on their own (yah yah, I know we hate gender stereotypes, etc.) We don’t have to play the suffering Olympics.

        • Anon says

          Same, girl, same. My husband is an incredible husband and father. He also has OCD, and needs more down-time than I do in order to function well (as a person, as a husband, as a father). I knew this going into marriage and into parenthood. I don’t expect each of us to bear 50% of the load; I expect each of ourselves to bring 100% of our current capacity to the table (which shifts back and forth over time).

          • More Sleep Would Be Nice says

            This is so nice to hear! Solidarity. Sometimes on this board many seem to have accomplished a 50/50 split (which…good for y’all!), but that’s just not my reality. Add to that the fact that DH is Counsel in BigLaw and literally works 80-100 hour weeks on the regular, and I am fine ensuring he has the downtime he needs.

        • Anon says

          With you on 100% of capacity vs. sharing of the load 50-50. My husband also can’t handle more than about a quarter of what I do (mainly due to health conditions, but some of it is just personality) without needing to rest and he needs about 3 more hours a of sleep a night than I do to be functional. I’ve been fine picking up the extra load because my health was better, but now I’m struggling with a newly developed likely autoimmune disease, work going absolutely bonkers and it’s hard. He’s being doing more which is putting him at roughly 150% of his capacity, but that has impacts on his patience and temperament and isn’t sustainable long-term. I’m thankful for him it’s not that he needs alone or recharge time, he just literally needs to sit and not be physically active, so he can still do things that require internet planning or supervising kiddo in one spot, the problem is that she’s a very physically active kid and school is now out for summer. We’re going to be adding all the help until my health can stabilize.

          • EDAnon says

            I would say my husband and I are 50/50 overall but not all the time. We both have times we can do more and less. I don’t think it would be possible to be totally equal all the time. For example, my husband started a new job this week. I am doing a lot more kid stuff while he figures out the office norms and puts his best foot forward. Sometimes it’s me that needs more help. For example, I am the one that needs more down/alone time. He facilitated that for me.

        • Anonymous says

          The issue is that men just think they need more downtime than women do, so men demand it and women don’t. And we just go along with it. As evidenced by this entire discussion, e.g., it’s “hormonal” that moms can power through and dads can’t. Come on, now.

          • Anon says

            This!!!!!! Plenty of women need lots of downtime too, I assure you. The difference is we just buck up and deal with because we have to. I hate that we’re just letting guys off the hook for not pulling their weight because “oh he needs more time to recharge than I do.” It’s sexist BS.

        • Hmmm says

          Agree with this. My husband often does more than 50%, so it’s not always a gender thing.

      • Pogo says

        We all need a break, and ideally you don’t want your break to burden the other parent too much. That’s how we came to my husband doing his bike ride after bedtime. I like to recharge by listening to podcasts or doing yoga, but I can easily do that with the kids in the house. I saw the question as more of logistically, how do you guys set up breaks for each other to recharge in this era of unrelenting parenting.

    • Anon says

      Sounds like my husband, too. I’ve always thought of him as the patient and fun parent, but the last 6-9 months he has had a very short fuse for the kids and seems burned out on everything. We have a newborn (and two others), so that is surely contributing. I, on the other hand, seem to be getting more chill and am enjoying my kids more (though I also lose my cool more than I should!), but I’ve been putting in a lot of reading/podcast listening/work on becoming a more peaceful and kind parent this year.

      He’s a great dad and guy and it makes me sad that he seems to be always frustrated these days.

    • Realist says

      I mean … there is a reason in a patriarchal society that domestic work is shunted to women and the men don’t claim it for themselves.

        • Tuesday says

          honestly, i am so thankful to be a lesbian. my marriage is not perfect but it’s SO MUCH better than most of my friends’ marriages.

          • Anonymous says

            My daughter (preschool age) recently said she has a crush on a little girl in school, and I was like, Oh, thank goodness.

          • Anon Lawyer says

            Honestly, as a single mom by choice, it has its challenges but . . . there are some benefits too. At least I KNOW it all rests on me in the end.

          • Anonymous says

            As a single mom you also get to make all the decisions. So if you need and can afford an after-school nanny you can just get one, instead of having your husband kill the idea.

    • Anonymous says

      I suggest you let him figure it out. He is an adult. I was the OP above and we have 3 kids running around. DH figured out that he just needs more sleep than I do and has communicated that. We’ve made it a priority that he goes to bed by 10 and when I can, I let him sleep longer in the morning. I am fine and optimal after 6-6.5 hours of solid sleep whereas DH doesn’t feel completely rested until more like 8 hours. That’s not always possible but we try and make it happen when we can. Our kids are like this too- one needs 10+ hours of sleep at age 9; another hasn’t slept more than 8 hours (if that) since age 4.

      How did you figure out how to recharge YOUR batteries?

    • Anonymous says

      Solidarity, and the haters above can shut it. I think some of it is hormonal, because I can deal with fatigue (we have an infant) way better than DH. He just falls apart, and I somehow power through. His job is also more intense than mine, and I think that plays a role. I don’t have a good answer, but following.

      • Anonymous says

        It’s not hormonal. It’s because DH can rely you to pick up the slack, and you have no one to rely on but yourself.

      • EDAnon says

        My husband is WAY better with fatigue than me though with newborns was the only time in my life that fatigue didn’t wreck me. He was still better. I think my limited success came from adrenaline :)

    • Anonymous says

      We started out with me doing dropoff and my husband doing pickup. We had to switch for scheduling reasons, and dropoff was so much harder that my husband just couldn’t handle it. It was so difficult for him to get our pokey kid out of the house in the mornings that he began to actively dislike and resent kiddo. I had to take back pickup duty and was very late to work every single day. There was really no alternative other than to let my family and marriage be destroyed.

      Men are weak. Women just suck it up and deal because we have no other alternative.

      • GCA says

        Gently, it sounds like you resent having to suck it up and deal, and resentment also eats away at families and marriages. Is there a solution that doesn’t involve seething resentment on your part? Some families I know have a morning sitter to do drop-offs when both parents have schedule challenges, for instance.

        • More Sleep Would Be Nice says

          +1 to this.

          Signed,
          Someone who could have marriage due to not communicating

          • More Sleep Would Be Nice says

            *Someone who could have lost my marriage due to not communicating.

  7. Sybil says

    Who is opting out of the upfront child tax credit payments? I’m usually good at tax stuff but can’t quite figure this one out, even with calculators. We’re set up so that we end up very close to 0 every year at tax time – I think the last two years we’ve owed $200-$300. I don’t want to take the upfront payments but then end up owing more next year. We’ve got three young kids so the monthly payment is substantial, I just don’t trust it. I’m thinking we won’t opt out, but probably just save it?

    • Anonymous says

      I am opting out. We earn too much to qualify for the expanded credit but do qualify for the original credit. Our withholding is set up to come out exactly even just like yours. If we took the advance payments, we’d just have to pay it all back at tax time. If we qualified for the expanded credit I would probably adjust our withholding instead of taking the advance payments.

    • Anonymous says

      The advance payments are a PR stunt. Part of the advance payment is a credit that many people already claim at tax time, and they’ll have to pay it back then. What they should have done was update automatic withholding to account for the expansion of the credit, but that wouldn’t look the same to less savvy taxpayers as a check.

      • Sybil says

        Yeah, I get that part. I guess I just need to factor in the amount of the increase as what’s “extra” for us. A minor complication is that I’ll be dropping down to a barely-employed level of part-time in September, so while our 2020 income is too much to qualify for the expanded credit, our 2021 income will likely be in the area where the credit phases out.

    • Pogo says

      Ugh, yeah, we just got the letter and I also do not have the brainpower to deal with this right now. Last year my income was much lower than normal because I had a baby and also COVID reduced my pay and bonus, so I think we qualified for the full credit. DH does taxes in our house so I’m kinda punting it to him…

    • Anonymous says

      I’m going to talk to a pro about it since we have a meeting with our financial planner coming up anyway, but i’m 95% sure we’ll opt out. We definitely do not qualify for the credit, and I don’t think I’ll get enough benefit out of the money being in my pocket now to offset the “ugh, we have to pay HOW much?!” at tax time. We’re usually just about even.

    • Anonymous says

      Ugh same here. Our income varies widely and I have no idea if we’ll qualify in 2021 yet. In 2019 our HHI was 350k but our AGI was 250k. In 2020 our HHI was 480 and our AGI was 390. I think 2021 will look more like 2019, maybe a bit lower, but really no idea at this point and I definitely don’t want to be paying anything back.

      • Anonymous says

        I don’t think they are automatically sending the payments to everyone. It’s half of the credit they estimate you are entitled to.

    • Anon Lawyer says

      I should because I pay estimated taxes so I will just turn around and pay it back to the government, but I haven’t gotten around to it yet.

  8. Fashion Help says

    Help me find a dress for my baby girl’s baptism? Size 12 hourglass, prefer sleeves. In the South so will be ~400 degrees out.

  9. Anon says

    Has anyone skipped the one hour glucose and gone straight to three hour? I’ve failed the one hour three times and two of the three times ended up with GD (this is my fourth pregnancy). We’re traveling for three weeks right after we’d be taking the test so I suspect if I fail one hour I’ll be doing blood tests and following the diet until I get back for my three hour. I think I’d rather just do the three hour and know for sure. Am I crazy? The nurse seemed to think I might be but was also okay with it.

    • Anonymous says

      I have no medical expertise, but in your shoes I would totally just go straight to the 3-hour if permitted. My only concern would be whether insurance would cover it without the 1-hour.

    • anon says

      Have you spoken with your OB? I suspect that you’re going to be asked to follow the diet and monitor regardless of the results of the three hour test.

      As someone who failed the one hour test with both pregnancies, I’d just do the three hour if insurance will cover it.

      • OP says

        So interestingly she said “your placenta is different every time! who knows?” but did say I’m supposed to follow the diet if I fail one hour or three hour. Baby is measuring on the small side – as am I (thanks nausea up to 20 weeks!) so I suspect she’ll let me eat anything if I pass easily but will be following the diet if I’m borderline. I’m actually pretty good at the diet I think – it’s the blood pricks and level tracking I’d like to avoid. I already take lovanox shots and just begin to feel like a pincushion!

        Ugh, this test is the worst!

        Good points all about insurance! I’ll ask!

        • anon says

          A quick google shows that you’re about 50% more likely to have GD with a subsequent pregnancy if you had it previously. I’m assuming this stat goes up even more if you’ve had GD with two prior pregnancies. These odds drop if the prior pregnancy was multiples followed by a singleton, or if you lost a lot of weight.

          I failed the one hour tests, but only barely passed the three hour tests both times. I was instructed to lean towards a GD diet, but wasn’t required to be strict or to test. My second baby was large and got stuck with severe shoulder dystocia on the way out. If I was to get pregnant again, I’d volunteer to follow the diet and seek to be more closely monitored.

    • Anonymous says

      I declined the three hour test in subsequent pregnancies and just assumed I had GD like the first time and behaved accordingly.

    • PistachioLemon says

      I failed the 1 hour test with both of my kids and then passed the 3 hour. Drink lots and lots of water the am before the test – it definitely helps. Also check if your insurance will pay for the 3 hour test if you don’t take the 1 hour first (mine wouldn’t).

      Also, I don’t know where you are going traveling, but they can do the 3 hour test at any Labcorp/Quest testing center, so you might be able to do it from wherever you are going. (Not that that is a fun way to spend time…)

      • EDAnon says

        While they could do it, my insurance doesn’t cover those labs so I would have to pay for it.

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