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Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
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- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
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- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
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- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Cb says
Reassure me that I’m not the only weirdo who disliked their prenatal classes? I’ve had a strong reaction to it – nearly started crying when we were trying out birth positions and then came home and had a good sob. I’m fairly crunchy but jeez.
Sticking with it as my husband is finding it really valuable (the one thing I like is that they try and get the dads-to-be to become experts on specific components – diapering, safe sleep etc). It also cost a fortune, but finding it a bit challenging.
GCA says
What did you feel the problem was? The instructor’s tone?
Cb says
I dunno, it’s an organisation which advocates home birth and midwife-led birth which is great but not available to those of us with pre-existing conditions. I’m fairly crunchy and find it a bit over the top. The instructor seems perfectly nice, the other couples are fine.
There is a bit of a cult around this org here – it’s very middle class (you pay a fee) and a narrative that this is where you meet your mom friends and if you don’t meet them here, you’ll be all on your own. So a mix of high expectations and a dislike of contrived social situations?
Hopefully, it’ll be better tonight – think I need to go into it with a more positive mindset.
GCA says
Oh dear. At least they aren’t forcing on you the narrative that home birth, non-medicated etc. is ‘superior’. Or being patronising.
Hmm. I can’t do mom cliques, either. And don’t forget the prenatal class isn’t your only source of friends in the same situation! Are there local Facebook mom groups nearby? Neighbours with small children? Stroller exercise classes? Postnatal mom & baby yoga for maternity leave? (I confess it took me nearly 1.5 years to find mom friends I really clicked with. Some are neighbours. One I literally chased down with a running stroller. One I chatted with at a playground when our kids started running around together. And there’s another group whose kids go to the same swim class – we all just ran a 5k together a couple of weeks ago.)
FTMinFL says
The greatest advice my mom gave me about parenting/birth classes, books, and other advice was to take what I could use and move on. This can be so freeing! You’re not going to click with every woman who has ever gestated another human, you’re not going to have the exact same birth experience as anyone ever, you won’t raise your child just the way your neighbor does, and all of that is ok. Take what you can use and move on.
It is great that your husband is finding it valuable – just think of the extra minutes of sleep you are racking up as he becomes confident in his baby-caring skills!
anon says
Your mom’s advice is great, and I wish I would’ve learned it years ago. It would’ve saved me a lot of guilt/angst about not doing things the “right” way.
Cb says
That’s such good advice.
And yes to the sleep – my husband has been practicing with the bath. I have also been working on my wrapping technique and used him as my dummy as my bump has gotten too big and he realised he loved the idea of having the baby close to him.
Pogo says
This is making me really appreciate our class – it’s at the hospital but we both feel it’s a good mix of “here are comfort positions and breathing you can use” to “here is what a c-section looks like” (with illustrations! of everything! yikes!! but also, so helpful).
Whenever people ask about and proceed to comment on our birth plans I just think of it as practice for being a parent, when people will inevitably do the same, down to relaying their child’s experience and assuming that you should someone replicate that exactly.
Mostly people have been commenting on our choice of hospital because it’s not a big name, nor is it perceived as “close” to where we live. Husband happened to mention it to a coworker who was literally the first person to be like, Oh I had both my kids there! It’s great! And I was like, freaking finally someone who doesn’t have a negative opinion of a hospital they’ve never been to.
Cb says
I could live a long and healthy life without having seen that photo of the placenta :)
CHJ says
There used to be an organization like this in the Boston-area, and they had a big emphasis on making mom-friends at your pre-natal classes. But I think it was mostly marketing – of everyone I know who took the classes (including me), I only know of one person who actually made a long-lasting friend out of the class. So if that’s part of what is stressing you out, I would try not to worry about it. It is certainly not your last or only chance to make mom friends.
And if it’s making you feel bad about a potential C-section, I would drop that class like a hot potato. We should have a separate thread about C-sections, but I can only have C-sections and it’s totally fine. Getting the baby out is only one day in a lifetime of parenting, and if this class is making you cry about your pre-existing condition, it’s not the right class for you.
AIMS says
I never did any prenatal classes but I did some prenatal yoga and found it to be totally cringe inducing for me. All the “put one hand on your baby and one on your heart and thank yourself for taking the time to do this” stuff just felt so silly and condescending somehow. I just wanted to stretch! But I really wouldn’t worry about it.
Cb says
My vinyasa flow teacher was asking me at the weekend about my prenatal classes and I confessed they made me really grouchy and thanked her for accommodating me in the normal classes (we talk through any poses beforehand and I’m good at self-adjusting)
mascot says
I found the infant cpr/first aid class to be panic inducing. I’d taken several CPR/first aid classes already and I’m pretty level headed in emergencies so this surprised me. We went straight to the hardware store after that to buy a fire ladder because I was terrified that we would all get stuck in a house fire.
avocado says
Totally normal. I hated our Lamaze class even though it was taught by our wonderful doula, and I found the hospital baby care and bf’ing classes both patronizing and horrifying. I had already done a ton of reading and figured out how I wanted to do things on my own. I did like the fact that they got the dads involved, but this was a double-edged sword because it turned my husband into a zealous supporter of bf’ing, which was exactly the opposite of what I needed.
Anonymous says
Try ‘Birthing from Within’ classes – the focus is on the journey through childbirth into motherhood and not focused on achieving a specific outcome in terms of medicated/unmedicated/home/hospital.
It’s my understanding that home birth with a trained midwife for uncomplicated pregnancies is the standard of care recommended in the UK. If you’re American, that can seem like it’s promoted as ‘better’ or ‘right’. But, it’s not, it’s just about broad public health recommendations. And like every public health recommendation, there will be people to whom the general recommendation does not apply. Pre-existing conditions mean that midwife assisted home birth is not the best choice. It is entirely appropriate and right that you follow the recommendations for your situation. Every birth is different.
NewMomAnon says
So this may have nothing to do with your reaction to the birth class…but it might. So here goes. At 31 weeks, I remember having this terrifying realization that the only way out of pregnancy was through either labor or C section. I spent about a week walking around in a shell-shocked stupor after that. It was probably the first time that I internalized that I, NewMomAnon, was going to have to work really hard to expel this kid, and that process was one of the most dangerous things I’d maybe ever done.
In retrospect, I wish I had honored that fear more at the time. Is it possible your reaction was a mix of fear and rejection of the messages they were sending you? I rejected the birthing classes and books because they talked about labor as something “beautiful” and “magical” and made it seem like something I could manage and control with various breathing and imagery techniques (ha!). I needed someone to acknowledge for me that it was actually a messy, unpredictable, painful process that would push me to the edge of my coping abilities (and occasionally over said edge), and that would be within the realm of normal too.
Cb says
That’s a really good point – I had some news from the doctor before my last class that things might be slightly more complicated than I thought (if I do need an emergency c-section, it’ll need to be under general anesthesia….) and so I might be contrasting these crunchy, rah-rah messages with my medical reality.
NewMomAnon says
I almost had an emergency C section under general anesthesia. Instead, I ended up pushing for 2 hours in the surgical suite, with a catheter inserted and an anesthesiologist standing next to me in case he needed to start the IV. It was my worst-case scenario, and I wish I had worked through the fear *before* labor to explore what a C section looked like, how to recover, the risks, etc. It was so much worse laying there on the surgical table terrified of the unknown for 2 hours.
BUT – it was fine, and it would have been fine if an emergency C section was necessary. But it was very scary, and I’m not sure it had to be. I think I was using “crunchy” childbirth classes as a way to avoid dealing with that fear (You can control your labor! Just breath! You are a goddess! Avoid interventions, you can do this all by yourself!). Is there a more medical childbirth class you can attend, or can you get an extra hour appointment with your OB or a midwife to discuss what your birth might look like with medical assistance? If I was ever pregnant again, I would also be very proactive about discussing anxiety relief during labor, especially during those really scary points – does your hospital offer laughing gas? guided meditation? other medications?
Cb says
That’s incredibly helpful, thanks for sharing and I’m sorry you had to go through that scary experience.
I’m meeting with the anesthesiologist next week and should know more about the state of play at the end of the month (currently, things are looking okay – baby is giant and healthy and I feel great, but there is a downward trend in my test results that they don’t like the look of). I’ll go in with a list of questions.
NewMomAnon says
You might want to avoid the “questions to ask your OB” google searches – they tend to be really crunchy and anti-medicine. I found something like this helpful when preparing for a different surgery postpartum, and I think you could spin it to discuss a C section with your OB.
https://www.uofmhealth.org/sites/default/files/healthwise/media/pdf/hw/form_zm2256.pdf
Walnut says
Yeah…I’m in a group right now that falls much crunchier than I and it’s about to make me crazy. I’m all about letting things progress as nature intended, but I am also not against medical intervention when it becomes necessary. Yes, you have to advocate for yourself, but at the end of the day my desire to delivery a healthy baby and not die in the process trumps everything.
GCA says
+ 1 million
Rainbow Hair says
I once ran out of a birthing class so that I didn’t faint. It was when the teacher started repeatedly shoving the doll through the cloth pelvis. Like NewMomAnon says, it was probably related to the realization that “holy eff that baby has got to come out of me somehow!”
I think that the way the crunchy stuff is presented can do a huge disservice to moms … like it is ’empowering’ women who can do it by the crunchy guidelines, but pretty much at the expense of moms (me!) who don’t/can’t. Like, “you’ll do the best for your baby if you *don’t* to do A, B, or C.” “You’re so strong you don’t need X, Y, or Z!” (and so the people can’t avoid ABC, or who need XYZ are… weak? not doing the best for their babies?)
Pretty much all of my therapy stuff is about power and control related to my body and bodily autonomy sooo… having birth pumped up as this big thing where my body and I would be on the same team and I’d be self actualized by doing this thing my strong body was created to do and my body would belong to me and my baby and not outside authority figures and then… jk jk lol instead [redacted, you don’t need to hear a bad story, but baby and I are fine now]… sigh. It was not great, psychologically. Hindsight is 2020 but at the least I would’ve liked to have had more balanced input before going through the whole thing.
Cb says
Haha! They had a model pelvis and were demonstrating birth with a baby doll and I swear the baby physically recoiled, moving up under my ribs, it was like, ‘nope, just going to stay in mama, it’s nice and cozy in here!’
Anon says
This is why we registered for the class taught by the hospital – I didn’t think I could handle anything crunchy or too “breathe, you are powerful” stuff. I barely make it through regular yoga classes that are too meditative/yoga-y – I really just want the stretching. Haven’t had it yet, but it’s being taught by nurses and covers all medical stuff, so I’m hoping it will be more my speed. But I second the “only take what is useful to you” approach – and focus on the benefits your husband is getting. (See why we are taking a child care class when my husband asked me what diaper cream is for).
Re mom friends, I imagine you’ll meet people out walking with the baby, at the park, etc. A friend is thinking of joining a “Stroller Strides” group (both for the get in shape and the social aspects). My hospital also sponsors a “new moms group” that is drop-in. Might check and see if there is anything like that offered.
Rainbow Hair says
Yes, I liked the moms at my hospital’s “new moms group” so much better than the people I met at the birth classes! There was a much broader range in terms of ages, backgrounds, careers, families, the whole thing. Just sitting around chatting while our babies slept or nursed or drank bottles or did tummy time… it was so low key and a very helpful social thing for me.
EB0220 says
I personally hated them. I went to one Lamaze class with similar high expectations and it was awful. Fortunately my baby arrived early so I didn’t complete the course! I had two lovely hospital births, one with epidural and one without. I am really super crunchy but I find the natural birth/babywearing/breastfeeding groups a bit unbalanced, so I’ve never gotten into them. As usual, YMMV, just my experience.
Anon says
Just wanted to thank you for bringing this up–my husband and I went to our first childbirth class over the weekend and I was just a mess. The class (we went to the one our delivering hospital hosts) was actually great and everyone was cool, but for whatever reason I became super-emotional during the birth videos. I felt so ridiculous because…anonymous confession time–I’m a actually physician at my own delivering hospital (for our hospital tour my instructor had no idea she was standing in front of a pic of me on the wall, and I’m so glad no one connected the pic with the weird lady who couldn’t handle the emotional load of the delivery videos.) I’ve been at countless deliveries, just never…my own. I too have been suffering from the realization that “oh s***, this kid has to COME OUT at some point.” (In my defense I was also operating on three hours of sleep the night prior, but was still mortified.)
If it helps (if I still am credible now that I’ve made myself sound like a lunatic!)–I’ve had to treat babies who have suffered the consequences of inappropriately non-medicalized birth, which for me has created a significant element of anxiety about my own pregnancy. There are some people who, given their medical history and risk factors, should not be delivering at home or even with a midwife, and the amount of mommy-shaming out there for pregnant women is disgusting. I hate the implication that mothers who have births that are surgical or instrumented or in any way medicated are somehow shortchanging themselves and their babies, or not really having “the full experience of birth.” At the end of the day (or super long night), you’re still going to have a tiny human and that’s what really counts–how you got there doesn’t matter.
Anon at 11:34 says
Just in case it makes you feel better, I have tons of friends and family in the medical professions and it’s pretty common that being able to perform procedures on other people doesn’t have much of a direct relationship to how one feels about those procedures or similar ones happening to themselves. One of my best friends from high school is an amazing ICU nurse but needs someone to hold her hand and rub her back or she passes out when she has to have blood taken.
ElisaR says
Cb I agree with you – almost everything in terms of prenatal prep annoyed or scared me. I did extensive prenatal yoga and pretty intensely crunchy prenatal “labor and birth” classes with a local doula. I hated all of it and for me what really got me going was the forced breastfeeding conversations. I was in tears just talking about it the possibility of breastfeeding and I felt immense pressure from society in general to do it.
Now I’m 14 months post-partum (and pregnant again) and I have a different perspective on it all. I am so glad I did all that prep and even though it was very emotional for me–its just what I had to go through. You can never prep enough for the unpredictability of childbirth but I really feel like I was fully informed and as ready as I could possibly be. That turned out to be very important when I was forced to make various decisions in labor. So I guess my advice is – take it all in and feel free to be annoyed or frustrated…. just don’t avoid all information because of it (that goes for crunchy and more “medical” advice).
ElisaR says
PS- after all the breastfeeding drama (and there was a lot for me) I wound up feeding my son exclusively via breastmilk for 6 months. Just goes to show me that I know nothing.
35weeks says
We just finished up a 10 week natural child birth class, and I remember feeling the same way after the first week or two because I was so terrified, and felt like I was just a different type of woman than the others in the class. (I’m having a hospital birth with an OB). But, now I’m so glad we stayed, and I’m actually pretty confident/excited for birth. We hired an awesome doula, totally changed my diet, and the stretches and exercises have also been really helpful. Along with the class we read Dr Sear’s Healthy Pregnancy Book and I’ve been listening to the Birth Hour podcast. I would highly recommend both as they’re not focused on “natural birth” so much as explaining everything and informing you of how many different turns labor and delivery can take. Good luck!
Anon says
I hated our hospital birth class (nb care class was helpful). I got dizzy doing breathing exercises as I always do when I have to breathe on someone else’s rhythm, and had to go hide in the bathroom for a while. They also had us sit on the floor for several hours… Not really possible for me at 8+ months along.
cURIOUS says
I’ve been invited to a bunch of showers recently and noticed, looking at the registries, that the parents registered for a lot more intimate stuff, for lack of a better word, than I have typically seen. Stuff like nipple balms and compresses, butt paste, gas relief items, booger tools, breastfeeding books, nursing pads, etc. I don’t think these are inappropriate gifts and I suppose there is nothing wrong with being practical but it just seems weird to put these items on a baby registry. Does anyone else find this weird or is this just how things are done now?
*I’m trying to figure out why this feels off to me and the best I can come up with is that a lot of people at work/your boss may see your registry because they want to get you something and it’s easy to find them online and it just seems better to stick to things that are a little less visual-inducing. It’s never struck me as odd to have one or two stray items but seeing a long list of all of the above did.
Green Hat says
Not weird to have these things on your registry. The boob stuff might feel weird to you because society tends to tell you that boobs are sexual objects only, and thus inappropriate to “publicize,” so to speak. I’m happy breastfeeding is finally being disassociated with sex. The other stuff? I dunno, babies get sick and such – I don’t see how it’s any different than registering for diapers.
Anon says
I think if you’re buying a gift for a baby, you likely know that babies involve some visual-inducing things, so you probably shouldn’t be surprised at them being on a registry. If you’re put off by booger tools, maybe ask someone else to buy a gift for the baby.
Also, I’d much rather get 50 cans of butt paste than get 50 newborn-size impractical outfits. It’s not “just how things are done now”, it’s always been this way. Every shower I’ve ever been to over the last 30 years has included diapering and feeding and grooming items. It’s not all just cute outfits and blankets.
NewMomAnon says
Well, my experience was that I needed the butt paste and nipple balms and snot suckers immediately upon baby’s arrival; I could have made do with just a few little onesies and no blankets, bottles, books, stuffed animals, etc. Whenever I see a registry for first time parents that doesn’t have those “visual inducing” items on it, I make a point to gift those items in a special “you don’t know you need this, but you do” gift (well, b*feeding stuff is assuming I know mom wants to nurse – otherwise I skip that and gift a really nice snot sucker).
FTMinFL says
A friend gifts expectant moms a “just in case” basket before delivery that includes all sorts of things that you don’t necessarily plan on needing, especially if breastfeeding, like nipple shields, formula, gas drops, laxative (for mom), etc. She gifts it separately from the baby shower and always includes a note telling the new mom to pass anything she doesn’t use on to another new mom. I can’t tell you how many people have told her that these products saved their sanity in the newborn phase!
Rainbow Hair says
Oh my, this is lovely! If I didn’t have to frantically amazon prime myself nipple shields, or send my husband out at midnight for gas drops… man, what a kind, wise gift.
PregLawyer says
This is what I have been doing for all my close friends having babies. I get a hospital and post-partum kit — just a bag filled with stuff I buy at the grocery store or target. Toiletries for the hospital, a pack of cheap cotton underwear, large pads, squirt bottle, tucks pads, face wipes, hair ties, fleece socks, nipple balm, colace, and a few more things. All the things that I wish I’d had after I gave birth.
Anonymous says
I think it’s great! After 3 kids I’m all about the baby showers where parents actually get useful stuff not 37 pink sleepers.
anon says
It does feel a little weird to have a bunch of drugstore products on a registry, maybe the same as how you don’t register for cleaning supplies and spices for your wedding? Imperfect example, but yeah, I felt the same way when creating my own registry. I don’t judge other peoples at all though.
That being said, a basket of all these supplies is one of my favorite gifts to give new parents. Mostly because this is a whole new world of products and butt paste, despite a cute name, doesn’t work very well so having some tried and true products is super helpful.
CHJ says
This is my thought too – I feel like registries should be guidance for gifts, but they should still be gifts. Like a wedding registry wouldn’t include sunscreen for a honeymoon, but it might include really nice beach towels. But I think that’s a beef I have with registries in general – I want them to include more items that feel like gifts. And those tend to be the things that get gobbled up first, leaving weird chip bag clips and spatulas for me to try to cobble together!
Pogo says
That’s a good point that you wouldn’t put sunscreen on a wedding registry, I suppose. Though I wouldn’t think it was weird if I saw it along with a bunch of other clearly honeymoon-themed gifts.
What I personally find tacky is couples who use those “honeyfund” or similar registries where they have like zero actual gifts and everything is just asking for money. “Help us with our downpayment!” or “Romantic dinner for two!” It’s clearly just asking straight up for money.
But maybe others think that’s totally fine (what if the couple really does have everything?) – just personal preference I guess.
Pogo says
Hm, it didn’t occur to me as being weird. I did have diaper cream on mine (which the brand calls “butt paste” I think), the snot sucker (because I’d heard such good things about it!), and all kinds of breastfeeding stuff, including n*pple cream but it wasn’t called out as such because it was part of a Medela “starter pack”.
However, I didn’t invite anyone to view my registry who I wouldn’t have discussed these issues with openly. I can’t imagine any of these women (most of whom are moms and/or my close friends/family) being grossed out by it.
GCA says
I don’t find it all that weird, but maybe it’s just me being overwhelmingly practical – consumables are always going to be more useful and necessary than adorable tiny onesies the baby outgrows in two weeks. If I find something especially cute and appropriate for a friend’s shower, I try and buy it in a 6-month size… I think everyone knows that babies are not all sunshine, rainbows and cute outfits, and I don’t mind – I think trying to maintain a ‘supermom’ illusion is damaging and plays into that whole mom-guilt narrative. It’s never a bad thing to be reminded that reality involves feeding, cleaning, and snot!
SC says
I think it’s common now. There’s always a subset of people who want to give cute outfits, and they will whether the parents register for them or not. And there’s a subset of people who only want to give useful stuff, even if it’s a little cringe-inducing. (Confession — I have a 2-year-old, and DH is the only parent to have ever used a snot-sucker. I just can’t bring myself to do it. But I’m the only parent to have nursed a baby, so I see it as a fair trade.)
My SIL gave birth about 6 weeks after me. In between our deliveries, I went to the store or ordered off Amazon a “gift bag” of “intimate” stuff like nipple balm, dermoplast, colace, and witch hazel pads. (This was in addition to a gift from the registry for her shower.) It’s definitely a know-your-audience thing, but it went over well.
Anonymous says
I knew I needed this stuff but didn’t register for it because I found it embarrassing. So even if a FTM isn’t registering for it, it doesn’t mean she’s unaware of its necessity it just may mean she doesn’t want to open a cream of nipple balm in front of 40 people at a party. I just bought all of that on my own a few weeks before my due date. But what you are comfortable with from the registry.
cURIOUS says
Thanks for all the viewpoints. I agree that some of this stuff is quite useful and also makes a nice gift if you know the person well. My issue is just that it feels weird to register for it much like I wouldn’t register for c*ndoms and l&be for a wedding. I don’t think my discomfort with this has anything to do with boobs being s*xualized or not. Registering for a nursing pillow is fine, asking someone to buy you salve for your chapped body parts is another. And I say this as someone who has given my favorite products including n*pple balm to close friends as gifts before. This isn’t about gift v. not gift. It’s really a question of registries.
GCA says
Ha – funny you should mention that. My very religious, very sweet friend dropped off a discreetly wrapped package *after* our wedding, in addition to the gift she gave me at the actual shower. It was l&be & a sweet note that said something about a happy and equitable intimate relationship…
Anon says
Registries are now a system for avoiding duplicates. As someone below mentioned, if you don’t register for something, you’ll end up getting multiples of the very things you don’t need multiples of. Everyone thinks they’re the “one friend” who is getting you the SnotSucker or Butt Paste or Bre@st Pads and you end up with multiples.
This is true even for cute outfits – I used to tell friends not to register for clothes because you’ll get them anyway. But what happens is you get 30 newborn outfits, which your kid outgrows in approximately two weeks. So now most friends register for clothes at different sizes, which means they get a more reasonable spread of cute outfits.
And as someone mentioned upthread, for babies, the “gifty” options are either clothes or blankets. And you most definitely CAN get too many of those. You’d rather direct people to practical things instead of your 5th package of Gerber Pre-Fold Diapers “because I used them ALL the time!”
cURIOUS says
First of all, this is what gift receipts are for. I got plenty of clothes I had no use for and I simply returned them. Second, from personal experience as someone who didn’t have a registry, I would say that I actually didn’t end up with too many duplicates at all. Some ended up being very useful to have multiples of, some we returned, and it was all fine. More importantly – the things I am specifically seeing are not things that are a problem in duplicate. If you can use one box of nursing pads, you can use two.
Obviously to each her own, I just don’t think that a registry is the same as your shopping list. But clearly I’m in the minority.
cURIOUS says
PS: I think there is also a better way to do this by just registering for a few things and adding gift cards to your registry. People will take the hint.
Pogo says
If only people actually gave you gift receipts for the 400 onesies they gave you… sigh.
But part of baby showers is to indulge your older female relatives, particularly the one who is throwing it for you, and her besties. That was how I looked at it anyway. I got a bunch of things that I would never have bought for my son (like, overly gendered or sports-related items for teams that we uh… yeah we aren’t sports people) but I get that my 75 year old aunt really wanted to buy them, so I smiled and accepted them, sans gift receipt.
cURIOUS says
@Pogo – valid but anyone who isn’t giving you a gift receipt isn’t going to get you very specific “drugstore” item gifts from your registry either. Like the problem may be there but the solution isn’t necessarily going to address it. If anything, I think it maybe makes it worse because with a long registry people assume everyone else is getting you stuff from your registry and they can go out on a limb. We didn’t have a registry at all and most of the stuff we got came with gift receipts and everyone said “not sure if you have one already, but there’s a gift receipt in the card if you need it.”
Anon says
I ended up with three snot suckers because I DIDN’T register for one. Two people thought I must not have known about this awesome product while I had in fact bought one myself.
It wouldn’t surprise me if people ended up with multiple creams and pastes because so many people try to be “helpful.”
SE DC Anon says
I appreciate this comment because when I first got pregnant I had the same reaction! Since I knew work was going to throw me a shower I just didn’t think my male coworkers needed to see nipple cream and breast pump accessories on the registry (although maybe they should to help normalize the pumping at least? I don’t know). That said, we did a small shower for a male coworker’s wife, and she had all that stuff on there. My thought was that people want to buy cute baby stuff, not nipple cream and breast shields, and registries are for gift givers- I kept a separate amazon “saved for later” of that stuff.
LALaw says
This really only applies if the gift registry is Amazon, although there could be others, but Amazon will give you a discount and send a welcome registry box with essentials IF you register for an item in every category that they require to “complete” your registry. So I ended up registering for things like nipple pads (in the Nursing category) and rectal thermometers (in the Baby Health category) just to complete the registry and get my discount and welcome box! I went back and removed those personal items before my shower, but I easily could have left them on – I ended up ordering them anyway. Just a thought as to why those items are on there – could just be for the perks!
NewMomAnon says
On today’s product suggestion – I air dry my hair at least partially every day because it’s curly and heat styling all the way to dry makes it a frizzy mess. I’m hesitant to add a cream like this in case it weighs my hair down; I have a pretty long, loose curls and have to work hard to get volume at the crown. Has anyone used one of these?
Anon in NYC says
I air dry my curly/wavy hair in the summer for the same reasons. I’ve had success with an oil, like moroccan oil, and then a soft hold mousse.
Anon in NYC says
Just as a follow up – I don’t use the oil at the crown.
PregLawyer says
I have long, fairly loose curls and partially dry my hair every wash. My go-to product is medium-hold mousse, instead of cream. I agree that cream tends to weight it down too much.
Anon says
I understand where you’re coming from as I think some of those things are more personal and for the care of mom that I would hesitate to register for them as well; however, there are a lot of great reasons to go ahead and add them to the registry. Most places offer registry completion discounts for the expectant parent to buy anything that was not purchased by a certain date. Some people also use them as a checklist of what they need to buy with no expectation that anyone else will actually buy the cream, etc.
SC says
Oh, good point about the completion discounts. I didn’t put extra pump parts on my registry (silly, naive past self), and I spent a fortune on them later. That discount would have made a huge difference!
Cornellian says
Completion discounts are smart. I didn’t think of that either.
I put diaper and butt paste on there, but nothing involving my own br**sts. Power to the woman who does, but I couldn’t deal with my coworkers/inlaws/etc seeing it.
cURIOUS says
This is part of what made me question it. One of the showers is for a work friend and although not invited our boss googled it so he could send the baby a gift and it just made me think that I would have been mortified to think of him looking up all the supplies in my medical tool kit, so to speak. I think that given how public info is on the internet it’s not just like a bunch of your aunts and friends going to a store with a list.
Anonymous says
Actually, wouldn’t it be a really effective way to de-sexualize your breasts to your boss and co-workers? Like, reminding them that they are functional not decorative and babies were here first?
cURIOUS says
Do you really want your boss thinking about your hemorrhoids?
anon says
If you are going to br3astfeed, isn’t your boss going to hear about your br3asts at least indirectly at some point? When you have to leave meetings to pump, or when you’re going through security at the airport and you need to take out your milk and get it inspected? It seems impractical to work full time and pretend that you don’t have br3asts that produce milk for your child. It’s going to get mentioned at some point.
cURIOUS says
You boss knows you go to the bathroom but does he need to know details about it?
Anon says
I added our crib mattress to our registry before buying it myself not for the completion discount but for the registry rebates. But that was my theory too – add as much stuff to the registry so that I could get my 10% coupon for the completion discount.
Rainbow Hair says
The completion discount may be why we had a cat tree on there. And then someone bought it for us! Hah!
Anon says
Here’s a specific/weird question. I need a new way to carry baby’s bottles and (soon) food back and forth to school. What we have is too small. Does anyone have the LL Bean insulated lunch box (the one that’s just called “lunch box” online, not the cooler shaped ones)? I like that it’s relatively flat and it looks like it could fit 4ish bottles. Open to other recommendations. Thanks.
AwayEmily says
We ended up getting the Coleman one recommended by the Sweethome (link to their reviews below). I liked that it was only $11. It was bigger than we needed for daycare, but the bigger size means that it can do double duty on the weekends — we pack it full of snacks/lunch (for us and for the toddler) for trips to the park or road trips. And the longer strap means it’s easier to carry on your shoulder and/or hook onto the stroller.
http://thesweethome.com/reviews/best-lunch-boxes/
Anon says
Thanks! I always check Sweethome and just totally didn’t for this. Perfect.
In House Lobbyist says
And Amazon has a bunch of Coleman coolers on the deal of the day today. You could probably find other places with coolers on sale this time of year.
anon says
I used a disposable plastic grocery bag for bottles. Unless you have a long commute you probably don’t need the cooler function really, right? But it was totally not cute.
HSAL says
I’m a big fan of the Packits – they’re freezable so you don’t need an additional freezer pack, and they stay cold for hours. I’m certain it was overkill for the 3 minute commute to daycare, but we’ve used it a ton otherwise. They have a bunch of difference styles but I’m pretty sure this was the one we used – it held four bottles easy.
https://www.amazon.com/PackIt-Freezable-Lunch-Closure-Black/dp/B00HJ8DFGC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1497290287&sr=8-1&keywords=freezable+insulated+lunch+bag
Cornellian says
How do you keep yourself from getting every bug your baby gets (or carries around and doesn’t get). I feel like my five month old stealthily sticks his fingers in to my mouth, and between going back to work, sleep deprivation, breastfeeding, and constant sickness, I am a mess.
I was so sick on Friday I tried to leave the office, and only made it fifty feet before I blacked out and threw up on the street in midtown Manhattan. I went to the ER and was rehydrated and tested, and by Sunday my stomach was better, but now I have an awful sore throat/cold thing.
With all of this going on, my milk supply is dropping precipitously and despite pumping 2.5-3 hours after nursing Saturday and Sunday, I’m still not producing everything my baby is drinking in a bottle. Helpppppp
Anonymous says
Vitamins, keeping hydrated, rest, and eating well. Haha! Easy as a working mom, right? To get over your current sickness hump I would use a bit of formula until your supply gets back up. Keep pumping and nursing a lot. You are probably just dehydrated and sleep deprived. Can you get some help this weekend so you can get some rest?
Blueberry says
+1 – Unfortunately, the obvious answers are the only ones I know of. On the bright side, eventually your kid will be more resistant to daycare germs and it will get better…
Cornellian says
Thanks. He doesn’t even seem to get all the bugs that I do. I think he just passes them on to me, and my immune system is more run down.
I was thinking of renting a hospital grade pump for a week or two, as my IBCLC said they can help with building/maintaining supply. I literally JUST threw out parts I got from the ER’s pump that I’d now have to spend $50 on. ugh.
Anon in NYC says
Yep – all of this. Drink crazy amounts of water, too. My kiddo was surprisingly healthy during her first year in daycare, but man, the toddler year was tough. I was sick for a solid 4 months with maybe a few days break between illnesses. I almost never go to the doctor and I finally wound up there after a cold that would not quit and wound up with antibiotics and an inhaler.
You can only do so much about milk supply – oatmeal worked really well for me – but I found stress / sleep deprivation really tanked my supply. Also, my period returned at around 5 or 6 months PP, and I always had a significant drop in supply the week before.
anon says
I didn’t, and between daycare germs and my husband being a first year teacher my son’s first year and bringing home all the high school germs, we were all sick all the damn time. It does get better in subsequent years though.
Kim says
Sleep and water; lack of either did an incredible number on my supply. You’ll get there…and if you don’t, honestly, don’t sweat it. A little formula may be freeing. You’re doing great!
Spirograph says
ugh, that sounds terrible. It does get better, I promise.
For supply, definitely drink lots of water, especially now that it’s getting hot. That’s “easy.” It will probably help a little bit with the bigger health stuff, but like people have said, the real solution is healthy diet, exercise, relaxation, and sleep, and obviously that’s laughable with a 5-month old and a full-time job.
Wash your own hands, wash your baby’s hands when you get home, and just hope for the best. If it’s at all possible, take a day off work when you feel something coming on and just SLEEP. I have found much more success at heading things off than “getting over” an illness. Once a cold turns into a persistent cough, I’m done. Cough -> no sleep -> more sick is a vicious, vicious cycle.
If you get a Medela Symphony, I have parts for it!! I bought them on leave when I worked in an office that had hospital-grade pumps, but never ended up returning there. The box is still sealed, and I just found it when I was cleaning last week. I’d love for them to go to someone who will use them rather than straight into the recycling bin, and my googling didn’t turn up any charities that will accept pump accessories.
Cornellian says
I thought I already posted this response, but maybe it’s in moderation.
If you’re still reading, that would be awesome! Do you have a burner? I can’t make one at work but can make one and post later tonight if that’s easier.
Spirograph says
I don’t, but I’ll make one later if I don’t see one from you first!
Anonymous says
I have what may be a “dumb” breastfeeding question. DD is 13 weeks and just dropped her 11pm feed. So she sleeps from 7:30-2am. I feed her on one side (ex: right breast), and then she sleeps for another 2-3hrs and feed her on my other side (say, left breast). The issue is that by the time I get to the second side I’m really full. I also don’t know if I’m “supposed” to be going that long without emptying one side. So my question is, at what point do you start pumping in the middle of the night?
Cornellian says
I am not an IBCLC but have spent A LOT of time with several of them and read a lot about it. What mine said when I asked her this was that you should express the second side just to relieve pressure (maybe half an oz). If you start a full 2-4 oz pumping session, your body will just learn to make that much more milk. Assuming you don’t want that (i.e. you’re not building a freezer stash, etc), I would just take the edge off. I ended up slowly building up a bit of a stash with just a half oz here and there.
I found my medela harmony hand pump (avent also makes one) great for that, because it was quiet and wasn’t as much of a set up as finding my electric pump.
Anonymous says
I always fed both side at every feed. Just take her off the first side before she’s done and have her finish on the other side. Start the next feed on the second side. Might take a day or two for your supply to adapt to the change. Then you avoid pumping at night which is a PITA.
anon says
+ 1 – you NEVER start pumping at night if humanly possible.
lsw says
I always feed both sides and he is usually five min or less on each side. Is there a reason not to start nursing on both sides?
Cornellian says
I read it as her being full and asleep after the first side.
Anon says
There is some literature out there about how baby should finish one side before starting another, the logic being that the latter milk is fuller in fat than the beginning milk. So baby will sleep longer, get more good fats, etc.
With that being said, my babies rarely ate from both sides at a normal, non-growth sput feeding. It’s all about how much you make in each breast vs how much your baby needs. So I think this is different for everyone.
My supply always adjusted to the one side per feeding at night/changes in feeding within a week, and I never pumped in the middle of the night. I did have a designated “extra pump” in the morning, and this is what emptied me out and built my large “stash”
Anon at 11:34 says
My LC said that the finishing on one side (as in completely drained) before starting the second side, in order to get the hind (fattier later/latter milk) is only an issue when they are newborn/first six weeks or so. After that they are big enough to switch. Plus, once you start feeding both sides at every feed, there is less milk in each breast so they get to the hind milk more quickly.
Cornellian says
Yeah, this, too. If you can get her to do the second side for just a few minutes, great.
SC says
The advice above is good. I used the opportunity to build a freezer stash. When Baby dropped his 11 pm feeding, I pumped before I went to bed (10 or 11). I fed him again when I woke up in the middle of the night, and he usually needed to nurse from both sides to get full–but even if he didn’t, it wasn’t a problem since I had pumped before bed. I also pumped again after the early morning (6 am) feed, since that’s when I had the most milk.
I managed to build up a decent freezer stash. I had a hard time pumping at work, so it helped stretch the time Baby got breast milk an extra month or two.
EB0220 says
I was going to suggest this too. I would avoid nighttime pumping at all costs but before bed pumping isn’t as bad.
Anon CPA says
Neverrrrrrr! I had an oversupply both times, so my kids generally only nursed on one side. I never woke up to pump, because that would just cause me to make even MORE milk. Yes, it was uncomfortable for a few days when they changed up their schedules – but your body should respond to the memo pretty quickly!
Anonymous says
I found it took 3-5 days to adjust after any dropped feeding. I always nursed one side, changed a diaper then nursed the other side (diaper change woke her up). Remember: feeling good ups milk production and feeling bad lowers it (It’s literally an oxytocin based cycle, like labor). Feeling uncomfortable with the amount of milk in your breasts will reduce production.
AuntE says
Bumble and bumble don’t blow it! It leaves my hair softer, shinier, and less frizzy than air drying without any product. I’ve been using the original formula since it launched, but looking forward to trying the new version for thick hair.
Jax says
Anyone have fun Last Day of School ideas? I’m trying to come up with a very last minute idea to make the day feel fun for the kids, when it’s going to be just a normal Tuesday for my husband and me!
anon says
Go out for ice cream after school or dinner.
AB says
I have very strong fun memories of going to McDonalds on the last day of school when I was little.
Anon says
This. Do something out of your routine like a restaurant you never go to, or eating dinner in the park, or “camping” together in sleeping bags in the living room. That will become your “tradition” for Last Day of School and your kids will look back on it fondly.
My parents blew up balloons and taped them to the back of our breakfast chairs and we all sang a stupid song. (Happy Summer to You, to the tune of Happy Birthday) but it meant that last day of school was SO FUN because it started out so silly.
anon says
We had the neighborhood kids over for a popsicle party in the backyard. It was not Pinteresty in the least. I texted our buddies and set out a cooler of popsicles. I expected it to last maybe 20 minutes, tops, but the parents stuck around and socialized and the kids played together until the sun set. (because they could!)
anon says
If it’s too late for that, go out for donuts for breakfast!
Now Packing Lunches says
Grade school mamas- what are you favourite lunch bento boxes for grade school kids? Any tips?
I want to send them to school with a hot lunch but the thermos thing seems pretty cumbersome to eat out of for a preschooler.
Any suggestions/tips/hacks?
mascot says
Check out the discussion from last Thursday for alternatives to sandwiches, Dip/stacks/small portions of a variety of foods seem to be the theme for bento style lunches.
For the actual packing, we’ve found some customizable containers with removable pieces at target/home goods. Silicone muffin cups work as well inside a plastic ware type box.
anne-on says
Oh yes pls – also any suggestions for the boxes themselves/particularly good lunch boxes. My son is going from hot lunch at school to having to pack a cold lunch and I think we’re all (more than a little) traumatized by this idea!
Anon in NYC says
PlanetBox!
anon says
My son is in preK but we use and like Easy Lunchboxes plastic containers for bento-ish food. My son likes all food cold, although their larger containers are microwave safe if that is an option at your school (our preschool will heat up food).
shortperson says
planetbox
avocado says
I will warn against the Lunch Blox containers. They are cute and space-efficient, but they leak.
Edna Mazur says
Vent-
Hit the point where people that are due after me are having big, healthy, squishy babies. Happy for them (really, although it doesn’t sound like it) but I really hate it when that happens.
Anon says
ugh, so much commiseration. I was pregnant with 12 other friends and aquantainces with my first. I was due first and had my baby second to last. I was so ragey about it, and ate so many cupcakes.
Jen says
Preach it. I went 14 days past my due date. I was trying to avoid induction and didn’t. Turns out the induced labor was way easier than my non induced first labor, which was 10 days late.