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I haven’t bought a babydoll top in a long time, but another blogger I know, The Budget Babe, recommended this top and I thought it looked really cute. I got it in this deep red, and I like it a lot.
This is not my usual style of top at all, but it feels floaty and bohemian and summery, and it’s very forgiving on the tummy, as well. It’s a cozy, comfortable shirt, and it’s easy care.
The top is available in a lot of prints and solid colors and is $18 (although you may find a clickable coupon), and it’s eligible for Prime. Babydoll Peplum Top
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Sales of note for 12.5.23…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – Holiday sale up to 50% off; 5x the points on beauty for a limited time
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anonymous says
Ugh. Drop off was such a nightmare today, we never had this before the pandemic but now that he knows mommy and daddy are home all day he’s constantly begging to stay home. Which is ironic because it’s not like we have time to devote to playing with him! I guess it’s a testament to how fun we managed to make four (five?) months in quarantine. But man was the screaming and crying and clinging so so tough. Daycare let me know he was fine after about five minutes, but I admit I cried a little in the car. The mom guilt is STRONG today.
Anonymous says
Hugs! Can you tell him you’re going to work and not staying home? It’s not really a lie even if you’re “going” to your home office. We’re very clear about that with our 2 year old. It helps her to know we’re not hanging out at home having fun without her.
katy says
It has been SO hard. The crying and clinging is awful and significantly ramped up with the new covid drop off procedures. I am mostly going to the office, and unfortunately that doesn’t seem to help his logic. I try to get him talking about something as we get to the front of the line. (50 / 50 success)
Anonymommy says
Those days are the worst! Highly recommend Daniel Tiger episode/song “Grownups Come Back.” We sing it every morning at drop off now, and even his teacher will remind him. He repeats it to himself and seems to comfort him.
Anonymous says
Welp, 3.5 glorious weeks of daycare and now someone is sick and being tested for Covid (heard the secretary gossiping about it this morning). Fingers crossed it’s a routine bug.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Thinking of y’all. Had 2 glorious weeks of daycare in June, before rumors (and then an outbreak) made us keep DS home, so I feel your pain.
Keep us posted!
anon says
Ugh, yes, we had this last week – but it was us. Luckily just a routine cold, but we got tested and stayed home for a few days.
Anonymous says
It is us right now! Got the test today. Hoping for a good outcome!
Anon says
I just need to vent. My fb feed (which I try to stay away from) is full of people this week saying things like “if you don’t want to get sick then you stay home” and still arguing about masks, and so on. I have a kid with special needs who is higher risk. We do stay home. We stay home when we aren’t in a pandemic because the world isn’t made for us and other families exclude us. The lack of compassion for the vulnerable is just such constant weight and drags me down every day. And what does staying home now mean? We still have to the grocery. DH and I sometimes still have to go into the office because we need jobs to be able to provide for our kids. So we should stay home forever too? I’m just so exhausted and trying not to lash out at people online so I’m venting here instead. I’m very thankful for this group of cautious and kind parents that is a respite from the rest.
Ano says
Some people are so narrow minded and ignorant. Keep your head up!
If it helps, it doesn’t sound like they are commenting on your specific situation, just venting their own frustration at what they perceive the problem to be. Try not to take it personally.
Clementine says
This is really bringing out the worst in some people, isn’t it?
I deleted the FB password from my phone and replaced doom scrolling with Duolingo. Now I am practicing (language I used to speak quite well as a teenager but now can barely scrape through a sentence when traveling) instead of cursing how the heck people can be so dumb.
(Also, it’s always the people who didn’t pass high school science spouting ‘science’ as the reason to not wear a mask.)
Eek says
This is brilliant!
2 Cents says
Yep! I unfriended a guy who tried cheating off my in high school after one of his “COVID is a hoax” messages. I also find in using the “snooze this person” feature a lot more.
Anonymous says
I think one of the most exhausting things about the situation is that almost nobody makes the exact same decisions as someone else, and it can feel like everyone you know is doing things differently than you, especially if you’re in the middle of the risk tolerance spectrum. My college friends are still fully locked down and are aghast that we sent our kid back to daycare. My high school friends are attending large weddings and going to indoor church services with singing, which horrifies me. My own husband and I have had arguments because I would maybe like to sit on an outdoor patio sometime this fall and he won’t even. My elderly parents are being extremely cautious but my mom wants to resume traveling because she feels like she only has a few active years left, which I sympathize with. It’s all just so tiring.
anon says
Well said.
Anon says
yes, this exactly. DH and I don’t even agree which is really hard. Part of this stems from the fact that his parents seem to not think covid is a big deal (they live in the burbs of NYC!) and keep telling him I’m being ridiculous. He is eager to return to his open concept office, which while doesn’t have that many people, masks aren’t required at all and his boss literally sent an email saying “i don’t think masks are necessary in the kitchen, but let me know if you feel otherwise” and one colleague hosted a happy hour in his apartment…
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
100% this. Well said. And I am one of those that is more risk averse than DH; e.g. he’s comfortable with going to restaurants following protocol; I’m not.
rosie says
I’m sorry. There are a bunch of threads on my local FB groups along these lines and it’s exhausting. You don’t want to walk on town property trails and encounter people not wearing a mask? Just stay home then! It is so distressing that this is people’s response to being asked to simply cover their d**n mouth and nose with a piece of fabric. No, your liberty is not being infringed.
I picked up an rx drive through at the pharmacy the other day, and the person who helped us had her mask barely over her mouth, nevermind her nose (she was working in the pharmacy at both the drive through window and the counter, which had plexiglass barriers w/gaps). She asked if I wanted a flu shot today, and I almost laughed it was so ridiculous. Definitely wasn’t interested in getting within arm’s reach of her for my flu shot.
Anonymous says
I’m sorry. It is so exhausting. The school debates are tough for me, as my husband is a teacher (who actually wants to go back). We’re in NYC, and the one saving grace of that is that most people here take the pandemic very seriously. (I still get a little nervous when I see an ambulance go by our building – will they start going by nonstop again?). But the constant decision-making that couples evaluating risk and personal benefit vs social good and equity is so tiring.
Anon says
I agree with you. I try to stay out of the fights but I do remind people that everyone needs to go to the grocery store and pharmacy and even if you hate wearing a mask and think COVID is hoax, at least wear one in those two places so you aren’t scaring the people that are medically fragile and believe in COVID. You won’t be in there more than 20 minutes likely. You can handle it. (And if it is someone I know well, I usually add, and you call me a snowflake! re: how HARD it is to wear a mask.)
Realist says
I feel you. We could beat this virus in 3-4 weeks if we had leadership. Instead, some us are stuck doing our own 3-week lockdown over and over and over again to protect our own vulnerable family members while much of America seemingly moves on in deathly madness. I like Clementine’s idea of using Duolingo and sort of already did a similar thing by grabbing Postcards for Voters addresses and doing some postcards when I feel like doomscrolling. I think a lot of people are doing this, as they seem to complete the postcard campaigns much faster than they used to.
Anonymous says
It really stinks. I have basically resigned myself to the fact that we are stuck at home for at least the next year, but the more things open up and people start pressuring us to do things that are unsafe, the more isolated I feel. The latest loss is that I had to quit choir because the director got envious of his friends who were rehearsing their choirs with masks and decided he should get to do it too. The more people do this kind of stuff, the longer reasonable sane people will be stuck at home and the more social connections we will lose.
Anonymous says
Thank you for sharing this. I was having a bad moment this morning where (I am ashamed to admit) I wasn’t as compassionate as I should be towards a similar situation. I didn’t do or say anything outwardly, but I had mean thoughts. Thank you for reminding me to do better. Best wishes to you and your family.
Anonanonanon says
Honestly ,facebook is so so toxic. It seems like the only people who use it anymore are right wingers and Russian bots pretending to be right wingers. I know Instagram is owned by facebook, but I deactivated my facebook and only use Instagram and have never looked back. I don’t need social media to be a place to have political debates, I just want to see pictures of peoples’ kids and lives and a funny video here and there. Even though I didn’t engage on facebook, reading those opinions during what I considered “down time” still made me irritated.
Anon says
one of my my 27 month old twins has suddenly become very challenging. pulling my hair, throwing food, etc. this was a child who when i wrote down things about her on her 2 year bday, one of the things i wrote was that she was fairly easy to reason with for a 2 year old…ha. when she throws her food, i tell her that food is not for throwing and that it must mean that she is done, and take her out of her high chair (she is very very verbal and previously used to say “all done.”) and the hair pulling will happen when i am playing with her. sometimes i can tell it is coming and i try to stop her and tell her that i cannot let her pull my hair. she does well with books, but there doesn’t seem to be a “hair is not for pulling” any tips?
Anonymous says
This is all very typical behavior
asdf says
“Little Dinos Don’t Hit” – but misread with “Don’t Pull Hair” instead? Good luck!
Anon says
Our speech therapist suggested for DD climbing all over me (literally trying to stand on my shoulders or jumping off the couch like something out of WWE to land on top of me…at 2.5) that when it happens I (calmly!) get up and walk away and say I don’t want to play when you climb on me. She said the key is making it very matter of fact, not getting upset, etc. Then if kiddo follows, say, “OK, I am ready to play but no climbing” and then play again. It only took a couple of weeks of me getting up and walking away for (very stubborn) DD to get the picture. I imagine the same would work for hair pulling.
Anon says
i will try this for the hair pulling. thanks! hopefully she will also stop the food throwing
Anonanonanon says
This is what I did when my oldest was a toddler and it took care of it very quickly. I thought it was important to teach him that people-including other kids- won’t want to play with him if he acts like that, which is true.
anon says
My kids seem to go off the rails when they’re overtired. Has she been sleeping well? Napping?
Realist says
Get the book “How Toddlers Thrive” or another similar book on the toddler years. This is all very normal and will probably get worse before it gets better.
anon says
Does anyone else have a kiddo with ADHD? I am really struggling with mine right now and could use some commiseration. He’s in fifth grade and harder to get out the door than our kindergartener. We are trying so freaking hard to help him build his executive functioning skills and sometimes it seems like we aren’t getting anywhere. The tension in our household is palpable sometimes. Like this morning, when he’s bouncing from task to task without really getting anything done, all while being completely hyperactive. When he’s in that state, he cannot be reasoned with at all. He can present as neurotypical at times, so even my closest friends really don’t understand what we’re dealing with on the regular. They see this fun, quirky kid (which he is!), but not the complete and total exhaustion we feel from dealing with a child who is extremely bright academically but cannot finish the simplest tasks sometimes. After consulting with the ped, we’ve determined that it’s time to up his medication dosage … here’s hoping that helps. :(
He was seeing a therapist in Before Times that we like a lot, but the telemedicine appointments were so unhelpful that they’re on pause for the moment. I may need to rethink that.
So Anon says
Hey there! Similar boat: My son has ASD2 and is entering 4th grade; he can present as neurotypical as well. No one, other than my closest family, truly sees the struggle and exhaustion. My son is a sweet, intelligent kid, but seriously struggles with executive functioning, any change in schedule or routine and flexibility (so the lack of predictability during the pandemic has been especially challenging), sensory issues (including becoming utterly overwhelmed during distance learning on a screen – the visual stimulation totally shut him down) and getting stuck on his favorite topics. It is really challenging. Hang in there. I can totally see how much you are doing to help your son. You are doing awesome.
My son goes to OT once per week. We did virtual OT for several months in the midst of the pandemic. Although it was not as effective as in person, he was definitely more well regulated after a virtual session that with nothing at all.
mascot says
We have a 10 yr old with ADHD and I could have written this exact thing. Mornings are hard these days. He’s sleepy and his meds haven’t kicked in. We are all trying to get ready and out the door. It’s not our finest hour. What works the best is realizing that he needs extra help still. We focus on one task at a time, not a list of things to get done. I also try to model that I need to focus on my own task (making lunch, drying my hair) and I can’t multi-task. Right now, he’s pretty good about getting dressed, making his bed and brushing his teeth on his own. Maybe this semester we can add filling up his own water bottle without prompting. By the end of year, maybe he can pack his own lunch. I try to remember that all kids progress at their own pace and it doesn’t always make sense what develops when (he was dressing himself and tying his own shoes way before several of his NT peers). I also try to let him flounder in low key ways. I won’t let him forgo lunch, but if the water bottle is empty and he has to use the water fountain at school to refill instead of the water with ice that he prefers, it’s not the end of the world.
And on days when it’s just easier for me or my husband to pick up the slack so we don’t all start the day in fight, well, tomorrow is another day. This too shall pass.
Anonymous says
No ADHD diagnosis yet but one of my three kids is like that in terms of bouncing from task to task. The only thing that gets us through the mornings is an incredibly consistent routine that is organized so that he moves from room to room without backtracking. DH or I trade off so there is always one of us in arm’s reach to provide redirection as soon as we notice him getting off track. Order is wake up, get dressed in bedroom (clothes laid out the night before), upstairs bathroom to pee, kitchen to eat breakfast, main floor half bath to brush teeth/wash face, front porch for coat/shoes/bag. I supervise getting dressed, DH makes breakfast and I pack lunches while the kids eat breakfast. DH drives them to daycamp/school.
If therapist was helpful in Before Times, maybe try again. Telemedicine is no replacement for in person appointments but it may help a bit.
CPA Lady says
Anyone else completely underwhelmed by online kindergarten or online school in general so far? Kid finished her “reading” and “math” lessons in 10 minutes (total!!) this morning and is now watching a science show on netflix (not assigned by her teacher, just a thing to pass the time while I work). We have two fifteen minute zooms today and that’s that. I’m doing the “teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons” book as a supplement. We started it over the summer and I’m going to keep going with a lesson a day until we’re done with it.
I’ve on one hand heard that most of real life kindergarten is learning to do school routines like sit still for circle time on the rug. And then other people are telling me that kindergarten is “too academic” and stresses kids out. I…. don’t know how that could be possible. I talked to friends of mine whose kids were in two different (allegedly really good) elementary schools for kindergarten last year and they were both underwhelmed by the actual academics of kindergarten. Maybe my expectations are unrealistic? Maybe this is just what public school is? Kindergarten is getting all the kids on the same page about basics like the alphabet and the numbers 1-10? And for kids who already know that stuff it’s reinforcing their confidence or something? Idk. Seems … really basic?
Silver lining, if this is going to take a handful of minutes per day, I’m way less stressed about trying to work and guide her through school at the same time.
Anonymous says
Kindergarten is about social and emotional development and readiness for school. If you are expecting hard core academics Idk what planet you are on.
CPA Lady says
I’m on the planet where I’ve heard people hand-wringing for years about how kindergarten is overly academic and strenuous in America these days and going on about how in Finland children don’t learn to read til they’re 7 or 8.
And then my kid starts kindergarten in America and she can finish her assignments for the day in 10 minutes. Her math worksheet was sorting four items into two categories. She could have done it at age 3. Her reading lesson was to watch a 3 minute long youtube video of a man reading a book about a cat with shoes, then drawing a picture of her shoes.
I’m not expecting “hard core academics”… but I thought it would be more than this. I’m glad to hear from the poster below that things start out really basic and then build up a bit. I also understand that she can’t do the social portion of school online. It’s just been a weird experience and I have no frame of reference…. which is what I was hoping to gain by posting here.
Anon says
My kinder kid’s in a heavily academics focused school that’s known for burning kids out. So take this FWIW and it’s not necessarily (or even probably!) a good standard but as a counterpoint. It’s virtual so I’ve had a front row seat.
All kids in her class enter able to read at least at a beginning level, some are pretty advanced. We knew this coming in so worked on reading this summer. They have an Epic Reads app where they read a (easy) book independently and after the teacher asked reading comprehension questions today (!) (DD had focused on the pretty pictures and definitely didn’t have an answer when called on but was cool with it). They also have regular story time.
In the first two weeks they are working on writing books (with prompts like “I like ____” and they fill in the blanks spelling words however they want and then draw a picture. On math they are doing basic patterns and sorting but teacher also does stuff like “can anybody tell me how to add to 5?” And kids jump in with “5 plus 0” and “2 plus 3” but also “2 plus 1 plus 1.”
They’re doing three hours of zoom a day – it’s a lot to supervise. DD is enjoying it. I think she’s pretty middle of the pack. Kids are still kids, but I expect this is what the more hardcore side of k can look like and what parents wring their hands over. I do love her teacher, but yeah, they aren’t messing around.
NYCer says
Out of curiosity, where do you live? Our daughter could read entering K, but it was definitely not the norm in her class and learning to read was a big focus of K. (Private school NYC.) Always interested to hear how things compare in other areas.
Previous Poster says
I live in a big Texas city. Nervous to say which since anyone in our city would know which school I’m talking about.
It’s comparable to the big NYC privates? Lots of parents hire reading tutors in kinder to keep up but that’ll be complicated this year due to Covid (we wouldn’t anyways, our DD is pretty chill but also self motivated so I think this environment will actually be just fine for her…)
Aunt Jamesina says
(I work in the education field, although not at the elementary level) From my understanding of the research, I think a lot of the pushback on more academic-based kindergarten programs is not because many kids aren’t intellectually capable of beginning more formalized math or reading, but because it can lead to burnout and frustration that makes kids less resilient and excited about learning later on.
Anonymous says
Yes. This is my concern – not that my starting-kindergarten-next-week kiddo can’t handle the learning but that asking a 5 year old to sit still and do work meant hours a day is not age appropriate. If anything I’m worried this one will be bored with the “academics,” but that’s not my worry about kindergarten being to academic – my worry is too much worksheets not enough play.
Anonymous says
In our experience, kindergarten was not “too academic” but rather too boring and too regimented. They had to sit still all day in a stuffy overheated classroom all day filling out mindless worksheets that were too easy. It was all about training them to do mountains of busy work. That may be what people really mean when they describe kindergarten as “too academic.”
I would seriously consider trying to have your daughter advanced to first grade. If she is bored now, it will only get worse as the years go on.
Anon says
As something of a counterpoint, I live in a college town and our school district is the one that’s right next to campus, so almost all kids in the school have a faculty parent, and often the other parent is also a professor or a doctor or lawyer or something like that (ie., it’s a very highly-educated group of families). Our school system has a reputation as something of a pressure cooker compared to the other school districts in town (which have many more non-university families) and is regularly ranked as one of the best school districts in our state. Virtually no one enters kindergarten reading, and even at the beginning of first grade very few kids are reading fluently. I worked in a first grade classroom last year and the overwhelming majority of kids learned to read that year. If anything, I think there were more kids still struggling by the end of the year than there were kids who were reading confidently at the beginning of first grade. After all the kids are reading at a basic level, that’s when the differentiation starts, with the more gifted kids quickly progress to reading longer, above-grade level books.
There’s actually a wealth of research out there that early reading does more harm than good and has an inverse correlation to long-term academic success. We have several acquaintances who are child development/pysch/neuroscience profs and they all wanted their children to read as late as possible. I think because of this, our university-run preschool is heavily play-focused and makes no attempt to teach kids to read, and all the parents I’ve spoken with have said their kids were over-prepared for public school K coming out of preschool. I feel really fortunate to live in a school district that’s “good” but doesn’t expect or force early reading, and I would have serious reservations about sending a child – no matter how bright – to a school that did.
Anonymous says
Is there really the concern that early reading is actually harmful? I’ve always thought of it as just not pushing until the kid is ready. My kiddo has picked up a ton just on his own and I’m not going to say “stop teaching yourself to read!!”
Anon says
I agree most of the harm comes from parents pushing, and that doesn’t apply to kids who pick it up themselves. That said, my neuroscience friend said that kids who read very early usually aren’t really “reading” – they’re memorizing large numbers of words, and that can impede later attempts to teach more phonetical reading. I think it depends what age too, this comment was in the context of 2-3 year olds who are “reading.” If it’s a 5 year old who’s teaching himself gradually, I don’t know that that concern applies. I certainly wouldn’t tell him to stop reading but I also wouldn’t necessarily hype it up.
Lyssa says
For whatever it might be worth, I know when my son started K (2 years ago), the first month or two we were pretty underwhelmed with what they seemed to be learning – stuff he had mastered literally years before, like colors and basic shapes. But it got more advanced, I guess once the kids and teacher got settled in, and he wound up making huge progress in math and reading.
But I remain enormously skeptical about the value of remote learning (without heavy parental supplementation) for young elementary schoolers.
anon says
I think this really varies by school. My new kindergartner in public school was asked to write a “personal narrative” on the first day of school, telling the teacher about herself. Boom. Day 1. Sit for 45 minutes and write a paragraph and draw a picture. Next up, the teacher gave them a math assessment where they had to read word problems and instructions and write the answers independently. I was shocked.
In K, my daughter’s class was asked to read quietly and independently for long periods each morning (45 min – 1 hr), then they spent an hour writing, and then did 2 hours of math every afternoon. That school year she wrote a 20 page ‘how to’ book, a non fiction book, a fictional story, and a book report, all with multiple drafts as they worked on revision.
I have no idea how kids who were still working on starting to read, let alone those still learning their alphabet, were able to keep up. I know many parents who hired tutors for their 5/6 yos. My daughter (who is young for the grade) found K to be very stressful. She had anxiety symptoms and often cried about going to school. The kids who were happiest seemed to be the October/Nov birthdays who basically were ready for 1st grade but missed the cut off.
Walnut says
That is banana crackers.
TheElms says
Our school district is apparently like this. Our kiddo is a summer birthday and the cutoff is September 1 or maybe September 30, so she will make the cutoff but be one of the youngest in the class. I never would have thought I would consider holding her back but hearing about how K is in our district I can at least conceive of it. (It is a long way away yet, but still). I always thought the goal for a 5 year old was to be able to focus on a task for 5-15 minutes!
In House Lobbyist says
We moved from our cool, hip area to the county next door with the best school system in the state. They sent home homework for summer when we registered for kindergarten – which we did – and the first day of school they learned to count to 5 and started with the letter A. Lots and lots of busy work that year and my son was miserable so now we live in the best school district and homeschool. My advice would be do your basics and your reading lessons are the preferred method in the homeschool community. My state requires 4 hours of instruction a day to count as homeschool so that shows you how much of school is lost to the logistics of having that many kids together at once. And even my 5th grader that is doing classical history, Latin, math, literature and composition/spelling/handwriting is done is 4 hours or less each day. And he says he would be done quicker if he didn’t have to write in cursive!
Anon Lawyer says
Well, and recess, lunch, gym, socialization. It’s not all “logistics.”
anon says
Kindergarten is absolutely not about academics, and the problem is that it doesn’t translate well to online. It’s about getting 20+ kids of varied backgrounds into a classroom and setting them up for many more years of schooling. Along the way they will learn academic-y things, but that’s really not the point.
Anon2 says
If you started teaching your child to read before kindergarten, then your standards may already be high for what constitutes “rigorous academics”. Used to be kids learned to read and basic math in first grade, and kindergarten was for coloring and singing and cutting with scissors. Now they learn sight words in preK and reading, addition and subtraction in Kindergarten. Making five-year-olds read is pretty “rigorous.”
Anonymous says
Counterpoint: I had to read and write to enter K in the early 1980s. My terrible big-city public school taught the same math in second grade that our fancy suburban school district teaches in fifth grade. Things have been dumbed down to increase pass rates on standardized tests.
Anon2 says
Interesting! I went to K in the early 90s but definitely didn’t read (and my mom didn’t teach me, even though I wanted to learn, because she didn’t want me to bored in first grade). K was also generally half day; now it’s full day pretty much everywhere, it seems
Anon says
I don’t think this is universal that things have been “dumbed down.” My very good suburban public school district taught reading in first grade, which is where I learned it in 1992. Absolutely no one was reading in K. I was identified by my school as gifted& talented in K and was reading on the college level by third grade, so it wasn’t a case of me being behind my peers. My kids’ future school (different city/state, but similar demographics) seems to have the same general timeline with reading taught in first grade. Anecdotally, I’ve heard the exact opposite of what you said, that more schools are now doing a more formal “academic” curriculum in K than they did in the 1980s/90s, when K was more likely to be about teaching things like using scissors and not talking out of turn.
I realize two data points are not an overwhelming amount of evidence, but I have always loved reading and am still a voracious reader as an adult; my husband went to a more intense private school and had traumatic experiences with a kindergarten teacher who expected kids to learn reading,and he hates reading and has never read anything that wasn’t required for school or work. Based on our own experiences (as well research about the subject) we’re in favor of delaying formal reading instruction until first grade at the earliest.
Anonymous says
Pretty sure that was an unusual district in the 80s. I definitely learned to read in first grade in the mid 80s, as did my brother at a different school, and the only expectation for kindergarten was letters and very basic words. Parents also learned in first grade in the 50s.
Io says
In the early 80s, a big push to close the racial gap educators pioneered a host of interventions in urban school districts. Those programs actually did bring up inner city test scores and had suburban/white schools not adopted many of these interventions the racial achievement gap would have been eliminated.
You may have been part of some of the early programs to reduce the achievement gap.
CPA Lady says
Yeah, my mom was extremely intense about education (tiger mom type), so my concept of rigorous is probably also a little intense…
That said, my kid is about to turn six. She did almost two years of pre-k because her birthday is right after the school cut off… this reading book that I’m doing with her is like 10 minutes a day. And I’m only doing it because of her age. But if I seriously need to chill my expectations (which it sounds like I do) then I will.
Her pre-k wasn’t super academic, but they did learn their letters and the sounds of the letters. No sight words or anything like that.
Realist says
I got that same book, but it hasn’t arrived yet. Does it seem like a reasonable approach to reading?
Anonymous says
If your kid seems ready and is enjoying the book then why not at 6? We spent 5 min a day reading the Bob books with my 5 year old preK kiddo this spring because he was interested. They got him reading way faster than we intended and were fun. But at this age if he hadn’t been super interested we’d have stopped.
anon says
My daughter, a rising first grader, goes to a school that has a high percentage of kids who are ESOL and have not had any formal education/group experiences before kinder (i.e, no preschool, either stand alone or as part of a daycare). From what I observed, the first month or so was just getting them used to the group setting etc, and then they got into more “academic” work. That being said, it was never super rigorous in terms of reading — my daughter was in the highest reading group, but was an emergant reader when everything shut down — BUT her teacher did expose them to a lot of higher level concepts around science, social studies, etc., in an age appropriate way.
I’m also not sure that a non-educator adult’s perception of what “being able to read” means is the same as an educators — I’ve dug more and more into the level readers etc, and realized that while I thought “being able to read” meant a first grader could pick up a book like Ramona Quimby and read it on her own, they really meant reading a book that is mostly sight words with a few new words that are repeated multiple times.
I found this website/store has a lot of good options for early readers that are truly for learning readers.
https://pioneervalleybooks.com/pages/home-resources
Anonymous says
At our school, for the first week or two, they don’t really introduce academics, it is about getting used to school. In normal times, there is a lot of focus on rules and behavior. This year they did a lot of talking about feelings. The next week or two are mostly review.
Kindergarten did spend time learning to letters and numbers, but they also did site words, pre-reading skills, and working on learning to read. They were expected to do basic reading by the end of the year.
Also, there is a big difference between a newly 5 year old and an almost 6 year old with 20% more time to learn stuff.
Anonymous says
Need some advice and hope others have been through this. 3.5 DD had her first private swim lesson yesterday At a good swim school. I did not get in the water with her (just how the lessons are). She screamed bloody murder the full 30 mins. Like hysterical. And pre-COVID she was never the child to get separation anxiety at drop offs. In general she loves the water but is nervous about deep water, even with me or DH. Obviously she hasn’t had a ton of chances to swim this year but we’ve been to a lake a bunch to swim and grandparents pool twice.
Do I keep going? What would you do?
anon says
Pre-COVID I would have suggested showing up early to lessons so she could watch and get more comfortable. With COVID, I wouldn’t feel comfortable hanging out inside for that long. I’d cancel and try again in the spring.
katy says
If part of your lifestyle involves going to the lake and grandparents with a pool, swimming is a life skill and I would persevere for a least a couple more classes. Does she have goggles? Not getting water in your eyes can be a huge help for some kids and a new present might be just the incentive she needs to approach the next lesson with a positive attitude?
Anonymous says
We tried this at 4 and pushed through – it was a mistake. Kiddo was not ready and cried the whole time and barely got off the stairs. Would have been better to withdraw.
Anonymous says
I would talk to the instructor and probably get in the water
Anon. says
Do you have somewhere midweek that you can take her swimming for fun this week? We did low pressure group lessons this summer with my just turned three-year-old. The first class was a nightmare of him screaming the whole time and clutching me. We went midweek and just played but also made a concerted effort to get in the big pool vs the baby pool. He then remembered how much fun it was to jump off the side etc. Week 2 was WAYYY better as a result.
Anonymous says
This is a good idea thanks. I’m going to check if I can book a family swim time. We are in an area that takes COVID very seriously so that adds an additional element. Instructors wear face shields etc…
Realist says
Not sure what type of lessons you are taking, but consider finding a survival swim instructor. My child was developing a growing fear of the water and barely had any swimming skills after years of lessons at the Y. We did survival swim private lessons, and within 2 months she could go in the deep end, flip herself over on her back, and then paddle over to the edge. It gave her a lot of confidence. Her final test was getting herself back to the edge of the pool after going in the water in both a summer and winter outfit. It is a necessary skill if your child will be around water. In our area, the normal Y swim lessons were just not enough to teach skills. They focused more on splashing around or whatever.
Anonymous says
Be careful with survival swim lessons—the popular ones in our area start off by throwing the child into the pool without warning and letting her think she is going to drown. I wish I were exaggerating, but I am not.
Anonymous says
Mine was sketchy until 5, and at one point we were the embarrassed parents that asked ti move her to a class with a female teacher. That made a lot of difference. (And my older one was great with that male teacher, kids sometimes…). You can also try again, see if it gets better, or yank her for a semester. Some kids take lo her to warm up to things.
Anonymous says
OP here – I called today and asked to move to a class with a female instructor. I have no shame. It’s a matter of fact that DD is around women more at this point in her life. They totally understood.
Blueridge29 says
You may want to try again. My DD has always loved water, but the first day of swim lessons at 4 we were at a new pool and she sobbed throughout the entire lesson. I explained that she had to go back, and the next class she was fine. Once she knew what to expect she was perfectly happy. She is a spirited kid though and MUST feel like she is in control at all times.
Anon says
If kids aren’t comfortable putting their face in the water, it’s hard to actually learn to swim; maybe a good instructor can overcome that, but seems like kids are just ready at different points. We l a bad experience with lessons at age 4, similar to what you are describing. Now at 5 he is happily going under on his own and I think lessons would be much more effective (but waiting until next summer because of Covid – we don’t swim outside of the summer so not trying sooner).
Labels for Comotomo bottles says
We use Comotomo bottles and have to label them with kiddo’s name for daycare. I bought a daycare pack with from name bubbles and I have to say, they just don’t work – the ones on the bottles have come off in less than 2 months and the ones on the clothes (affixed to the care label per directions) are also coming off – I keep finding stickers in the laundry. Any better recommendations specifically for Comotomo bottles, and also for clothes?
AwayEmily says
We have had very good experiences with Oliver’s Labels. The clothing-specific ones stay on clothes for years (even when stuck directly TO the clothes instead of a tag), and we’ve never had a bottle or water bottle label come off.
TheElms says
My friend used Comotomo and had this problem. I recall she tried a lot of different labels and none worked.
In the end she wrote her kid’s name on the bottle with a sharpie.
Anonymous says
Blue painters tape is our best solution for bottles, dishes etc. Goes through the dishwasher even! I honestly have some containers I labeled with tape 2 years ago and have washed at least weekly that are still intact.
Anonymous says
I used the silicone bands that wrap around the bottle. Write on them with a dry erase marker, pull them all the way to the widest part of the comotomo and they stayed on very well.
Anne says
I cut just the name of the name bubble and put it on the bottom of the comotomo bottle and then used masking tape and a sharpie each day to put the date and number of ounces.
Anonymous says
OP here – this is similar to what it is. It’s not casual Y lessons. To give DD some credit she cried hysterically but still did what they asked. They practiced scooting along the edge, climbing out, etc…and we’re paying out the nose for these because to me swimming is an essential life skill/safety issue. Sounds like we will persevere.
Anonymous says
How’s the pool temperature? One of my twins runs cold so he actually wore a wetsuit top instead of a swim shirt for swimming lessons. He was much happier when he wasn’t cold.
Anonymous says
It’s warm! It’s JUST a swim school, not like county pool or Y. She does get cold easily in the water but that wasn’t the issue this time. I think she was just terrified.
avocado says
This top looks like something from Wilt that would cost 4x as much. I am seriously tempted, even though I am super skeptical about clothing from Amazon.
anonn says
to me it looks like something that would have diagonal side seams as soon as you wash it. but I haven’t read the reviews, just an instinct :)