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My niece once reached over her crib to grab a tissue box and proceeded to empty the entire thing. With babies like her, I can see where the makers of this tissue box toy got their inspiration.
This sensory toy takes tissue boxes to the next level — it has a mirror, crinkly leaf, peek-a-boo game, and more! The colorful “tissues” are made from cotton and satin fabrics and the whole thing is washable as well. Your little one will enjoy pulling out and putting away these tissues over and over again — and will (hopefully) leave your real ones alone.
This tissue box baby toy is available on Amazon.
Sales of note for 3.28.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your full-price purchase; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything plus extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off 2+ items; 40% off 1
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- Lands’ End – 10% off your order
- Loft – 50% off everything
- Nordstrom: Give $150 in gift cards, earn a $25 promo card (ends 3/31)
- Talbots – 40% off 1 item; 25% off everything else
- Zappos – 37,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off entire site
- Hanna Andersson – 30% off all swim; up to 30% off HannaJams
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off sitewide; 50% off select swim; 50% off kids’ styles
- Old Navy – 50% off Easter deals
- Target – 20% off Easter styles for all; up to 30% off kitchen & dining; BOGO 50% off shoes & slippers for the family;
Anonymous says
This toy is genius.
GCA says
The only way they could make it better is by throwing in a couple sheets of crinkly Baby Paper!
Another Anon says
Reposting from main
Tips for an overnight flight with a 2yo? We got lay flat seats hoping she’ll sleep but worried about the lights bothering her. Will they let her lay with me? Anything else that might help?
anon says
I’d expect her to lay on top of you in a really uncomfortable way all night–that’s what my kids would do.
Anonymous says
I think it will probably be fine: don’t they lower the lights for an overnight flight? I’m kind of anti melatonin but I think it would be ok to give in this case. Would s/he wear a sleep mask?
Anon says
I don’t think the lights would be a problem unless she requires pitch black – the lights are usually pretty dim. That plus the white noise of the plane should help.
Anonymous says
Woof, good luck. I won’t even do that with my older kids. Could she wear a sleep mask? Throw a blanket over her head? How about wearing headphones?
Anon says
I did it with a 4 year old (we scored insanely cheap tickets last spring) and she slept as much or more than I did, at least a solid 6 hours, and it made a big difference to our ability to get out and explore the next day versus flying in economy and getting 3 or 4 broken hours of sleep. But age 2 is very different than 4 and I’m not sure how much sleep I’d expect…at that age my kid did not understand the need to sleep at night on planes.
Anon says
The business class cabin gets darker than economy. I wouldn’t worry too much about the lights.
octagon says
See about a sleep mask – give it a try at home a few times before the flight. If she tolerates headphones, download some audiobooks so that she can lay down and listen to stories, even if she doesn’t sleep
Anonymous says
I’m sorry but I have a rant. I do not want to do an auction for my kids’ PTOfundraiser. Will you please just send me a form saying “we need this amount of money and there are this many kids enrolled: will you please give x or whatever you can?” And I’ll write a check. Ok end of rant. Cute things your kid did?
Anonymous says
Just opt out of the auction and donate directly to the PTO if you feel led to contribute.
Allie says
Or just drop this ball and delete the email and never think about it again.
Anonymous says
Why can’t you do exactly this? I’m actually running our school’s auction, which is a combo parent’s night out + auction. If you wanted to skip the entire thing and just write a check that would be great! If you want to show up to the event, have a couple drinks and write a check, that would be great! If you want to come to the event and enjoy yourself and NOT donate, that’s great too!
We have a “direct appeal” fund for parents that don’t want to do any of the fundraising. We do a donation basket at the auction for anyone that just wants to donate and doesn’t want auction items. We also have a bunch of awesome items that get a ton of money, such as tickets to Disney, club seats to local sporting events, a week or two at a camp that nearly always sells out by October, that sort of thing.
SC says
I’ve actually lost track of all the requests for money from my kid’s school, the PTO, the room mom. I just received a reminder email to donate to the PTO for teacher appreciation week, and I literally cannot remember if I donated after the first email. I have a vague memory of doing it, but I may be getting it mixed up with one of the other dozen requests for money.
Anon says
Your suggestion is exactly what our schools do and people complain about that too (“that’s what my taxes are for!”). There is no winning.
OP says
Hm well I’ll just contact the PTO prez and ask her if I can write a check then. Thanks everyone!
Anonymous says
I cannot imagine that she would say no.
OP says
Right? My rant seems pretty silly now. I’m thankful mostly everyone on here is kind.
Anonymous says
I do work with the PTO and we got enough of these requests that we just opened the ability to do a direct contribution on the website :).
“Hi Prez! I am not able to participate in the auction but would love to support the school. Could I make a direct donation? Sincerely, the easiest, low-maintenance parent sponsor ever.”
Vacay Planning says
Vacation ideas for Feb vacation week 2024? I have a neurodiverse 6.y.o. (sensory issues/ADHD) who likes to do the same routine as much as possible (on vacay – eat at the same place for each meal, swim in the same pool, maybe try one other thing, but go back to the same pool). 3 y.o. is very adaptable. Are the all-inclusives worth it if we are only going to do the same thing everyday for a week? Also, the less crowded the better. Preferably direct flights from Boston, but can do NY as well. We are willing to spend on it to not be miserable.
and ideally with decent food (for adults at least)
Anon says
I’d vote for Beaches if it’s in the budget. They have more experience with special needs kids than a lot of resorts do, and bend over backwards to cater to picky eaters and other kids with sensitivities. We tried as many of the restaurants as we could, but otherwise we pretty much did the same thing every day (including hanging out in the same pool) and it was great. They can bring your son his preferred meal from a different restaurant, if it’s the food that’s the main sticking point to trying to new restaurants. February isn’t normally super crowded at most Caribbean resorts. March and April are more popular since more of the country has spring break then.
Anon says
Oh and the food is very good for an all-inclusive.
non says
yikes i thought it was awful.
Anon says
Have you been to other all-inclusives that allow kids? All-inclusive food doesn’t have a great rep in general and I’ve found it particularly bad at resorts that allow kids. I’ve been to a half dozen family-friendly all-inclusives (including some similarly pricey ones) and Beaches had the best food by faaaar. That doesn’t mean the food there is great, but I think it’s decent and that puts it way above a lot of other places.
Anon says
i myself have never been, but have heard that Beaches has resources for kids with special needs, https://www.beaches.com/all-inclusive/autism-friendly/. I know you did not say he is autistic and perhaps they should really try to improve the wording on their site, but looks like they have resources for all types of kids
Anon says
Yeah, that’s what I was thinking of when I made the comment about the special needs. Their autism inclusiveness is one of their signature things, but it seems to extend to kids with other kinds of special needs, and kids who are neurotypical but have sensory issues or other quirks. My kid is neurotypical as far as we know but sensitive and an extreme picky eater, and the staff was great.
Anonymous says
All-inclusives are made for doing the same thing every day!
Anonymous says
Yes I think an all inclusive is exactly what you need. The big downside is you’re kinda stuck on a resort and eating their food because you paid for it. If that’s what you want to do it’s perfect. Not crowded isn’t realistic.
Anon says
We just went to the JW Marriott in Cancun for Feb vacation and I think it was great for kids. Since it is not an all-inclusive, it definitely did not feel super crowded at the resort, and the pool situation was large enough for people to spread out. The food was consistent and really good throughout the resort (and my kids’ daily cheeseburger lunch was a welcome sight at the pool). We got a suite and it was great for our family of 4 and not too expensive.
startup lawyer says
oh this looks good.
Anon says
I love a good all inclusive, but if you are looking for quiet and routine, you might want to try a private home with a pool and outsource food prep. It’s too cold for February, but one of my most peaceful trips when my twins were younger was in Hilton Head. When they were toddlers, we needed lots of space, very few restaurant meals, and the ability to not deviate from our nap routine. We splurged on a house with a private pool that was only a block to the ocean, and then contacted a local catering company. They dropped off pre-made food throughout the week, and we lounged by the pool, went to the beach for like increments of 3 minutes to 45 minutes, and never worried about cooking or having to wrangle 2 two year olds at a busy beachside restaurant. We also didn’t have to worry about larger kids in the pool or disturbing others with all the toddler shenanigans. At night, the house was quiet and had a lovely view of the ocean.
You could easily replicate this in Florida, or if you are feeling really splurgy, I think if you search Kid and Coe, you can add “chef services” to the search options (or just pick a resort town. more places are doing drop off meals since COVID).
Anonymous says
I missed the PTO discussion the other day but wanted to weigh in. I live in a wealthy Boston ‘burb. Our elem PTO is run by mostly women. It’s a mix of women that are stay at home, part time, and full time working parents at the very core group (eg the 4-5 main roles) but there are TONS of men and women in the “committee chair” type roles that work full time.
Our current treasurer (has been other roles) is a FT working mom in big 4 consulting. She has 3 boys and her husband is the one with the flex job. Husband does a lot of the “feet on the street” type work with the school (pick up X, go into the classrooms, run a bunch of stuff over for a teacher appreciation event etc), coaches all the sports teams and heads up a couple committees. Wife does the financials, meeting planning behind the scenes, gets people to sign up for stuff, etc. etc.
Our VP is the mom of my kid’s BFF. She is a whip smart, wonderful woman with a great career and has been working part time since her oldest went to K in 2012. She’s been all roles in the PTO and her youngest is now in 3rd grade.
Current president is a SAH mom who runes a non profit in her “free” time.
I’m on the auction committee and have run the book fair in past years. The committees i’ve been on are a real mix of full time working parents and those with more flexible situations.
Anonymous says
This, and myriad other comments make me want to move to Boston burbs. Crazy, right? Being a working mom in the south is so lonely and polarizing.
Formerly of the Boston 'burbs says
Not crazy if you have lots and lots of money. Otherwise yes crazy.
Anon says
Also, kindly, regions aren’t a panacea. FWIW, When I was in the DMV I knew of WAY more PT Mums & SAHMs (or somewhere in between – like the Mom ran a baking blog/did one-off catering) than I do now.
Signed,
Big City Texan
Anon says
+1 have lived in the Midwest and Bay Area. There are a lot of SAHMs in both places, but personally I find the ones in the Midwest (typically middle class, no external childcare, often left the workforce because daycare for 2 kids was more than their salary) way more relatable than the Bay Area ones who were super wealthy with full-time nannies and could have worked if they’d wanted to.
Anon says
Yup.
My cousin’s wife is a SAHP (same city) and it’s largely because if she worked, their HHI would not have justified the cost of daycare when their kids were babies/pre-school aged. She does all the school drop-off/pick-ups, volunteers at school, and handles housekeeping/yard work/groceries/cooking. Her kids are NOT in aftercare, so they’re home at 3 PM. The kids don’t really do activities, so summer and afterschool, its all her.
Also lots of economic and cultural driven norms in play – we’re all from backgrounds where it’s common for grandparents/extended family to take care of babies while the parent is working (so no need to pay for “outside” childcare); her background is one where women work outside the home, but typically in low-wage jobs.
So yeah, Boston ‘burbs may have two high-earning parent families but not these dynamics. Not saying one is better than the other – but just that a SAHP isn’t the same in every region.
Anon says
Eeek – Comment at 11:21 AM by same Anon at 11:06 AM.
anon Bay Area says
I’m one of the most expensive ($/square foot for housing) parts of the Bay Area and the SAHMs I know don’t have full-time nannies, though I’ve heard that such a thing exists from friends whose children go to a handful of private schools.
The SAHMs I know could work if they wanted to (many were previously in jobs with long hours like big law, medicine, tech leadership, etc), but they wanted more time with their kids and there isn’t exactly a plethora of part-time, flexible and interesting opportunities for folks with these skill sets. They’re pretty much the women who frequent here, but they have enough money to step out of the labor force.
Anon says
UGH. Too fast today.
Sorry, Same commenter at 11:46 as 11:06.
Anonymous says
I posted above and I think the reason our schools have so many working moms is that it’s unaffordable to have a SAHP in most circumstances. The average HHI in our town is quite high, but largely a 2-income operation. The SAH mom I referenced is a former exec at a non profit but has 3 kids and her husband is a big law partner so she stopped working when she had kid #3. She got cooped up fast and started a charity.
anon says
Hi. Full time working mom in the wealthy Boston ‘burbs, here. I feel like an island. No one around me works nearly the hours I do. None of my daughter’s friends’ moms do. It’s somewhat luck of the draw in terms of neighborhood and kids your kid ends up in school with.
anon says
The “free” time thing really reads as an unkind dig at that SAH mom…
Anon says
I didn’t read it that way…I read the tone as like she probably doesn’t actually have that much “free” time and yet she manages to run a non profit.
Anon says
That’s how I read it as well. “Free time” in quotes because this woman is so busy she doesn’t really have free time.
Anonymous says
It was my post and that’s exactly how I meant it. The woman is far busier than most working moms I know.
Anonymous says
Chiming in with a few more examples. One working mom runs the sponsorship program- solicit and manage all the local businesses that donate to the school. One mom is a (very very excellent) real estate agent so she’s got a more time-flexible job- she runs the school’s biggest fundraiser which is a “camp expo” that brings in like $20k/year. another mom has a job in corporate IT; she runs the PTO website. There is a dad that runs a couple of different after school clubs, another that runs the “fun run” event, and one dad that shakes the trees every time there is a need for setup/cleanup and somehow a whole convoy of dads show up to do all the heavy lifting. One dad works from home and took the AM crossing guard job they couldn’t fill this winter. I love that the kids’ crossing guard is a C-suite healthcare exec just chilling on a corner from 7:30-7:55 every day (he lives down the road).
Allie says
This isn’t that surprising to me. If you want to get something done, ask a busy person.
Anonymous says
a working mom on our school council who has 4 kids literally ran and won with that slogan.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Are we in the same burb? Ours isn’t one of the wealthy W ones, but most around Boston around HCOL. I decided to join in one of the “easier” (see: remote, straightforward, not much planning) roles so we’ll see how it goes!
Anonymous says
I think we’ve checked before- we are west and I believe you are up north right? :)
Boston Legal Eagle says
Nope, also west! On the Worcester commuter line.
anon says
I’m the one to the north, on the Haverhill line!
Anonymous says
I need to ones I’m on the auction committee. On this committee alone I have a tech exec, a woman in marketing, an anesthesiologist, a speech pathologist, two stay at home moms (one with very young kids, one with older kids who does a ton for the town- I think she’s the chair of a few different committees), and another woman who has idk what job but she’s in tons of meetings.
We do zoom friendly meetings, use google docs to store stuff so we all have access, use doodle to schedule meetings when most people can make it and send notes and assign tasks for those that can’t. One woman can’t make any daytime meetings but got us like $5k in donations that she sought out in her free time. It takes a village ladies! Do what you can, when you can.
I remember when my oldest went to kindergarten and I had two little ones at home and was working full-time I wanted to get involved so volunteered for things. One sweet lady took me aside and said not to drive myself crazy, do you only what I had time to do because everyone’s been there before and the kids will get older and it will be easier! And now all my kids are in school and I have time to be helpful :).
avocado says
I would like to take my teenager to the Star Wars land at Disney World for one day this summer, with the goal of getting on all the Star Wars rides and building a lightsaber. I have heard and read conflicting reports about how to get on Rise of the Resistance and the Millennium Falcon ride. Has anyone been recently and successfully navigated this? I haven’t been to Disney since the days of paper tickets.
Anonymous says
You can purchase a lightning lane pass for Rise of the Resistance, which gives you a timed entry — I think you can buy it in the morning as soon as the parks open on the day you want to go. The rest of the rides are not that hard to get onto, just check wait times on the app to see when’s good. For building a lightsaber (Savi’s Workshop), you need to make a reservation ahead of time (up to 60 days in advance), which you can also do in the app.
Anon says
You shouldn’t have any trouble doing all of Star Wars land in a day. It’s getting through the whole park in a day, with all the headliners, that’s challenging.
For a teen, I’d skip rope drop and use Genie+ to stack LL for the afternoon and evening. Plan to stay until park close. Look up when reservations open for restaurants and light sabers and book the moment it opens. If you’re staying off-site, go during a less busy time so you can purchase a paid LL for RoR, or stay onsite so you get first dibs.
SC says
I went a year ago during spring break/ the week after Easter, a very busy time of year. Our group was me, my husband, my parents, and my 7 year old. Our family decided to cover other parts of Hollywood Studios earlier in the day. Then, my parents took the kid back so my husband and I could have a nice dinner together (Brown Derby) and cover Star Wars land in the late afternoon/ evening (except that we would have taken any time for Rise of the Resistance any time the Lightning Lane gave us).
– My mom and I got up early and logged into the Genie Plus/ Lightning Lane system. At 7:00 (using an online atomic clock), we both went straight for Rise of the Resistance, and we were able to snag times of 8:15 pm, which actually worked for our plan. The system has been updated and improved, but I recommend just being extremely flexible and taking what you can get on the most popular rides. As we clicked through the Lightning Lane process, the time said 11 am on the first screen, 3 pm on the next, and 8:15 pm on the confirmation screen. (Shrug.)
– Since we were focused on other rides earlier in the day, we weren’t able to snag a Genie Plus for Millenium Falcon. No worries, there’s a single rider line, and we were able to ride it twice with less than a 10-minute wait each time. The drawback of the single-rider line is that each rider is assigned one of 4 roles (pilot, gunner, engineer), and the single rider typically gets stuck with engineer. My husband did get offered the role of the pilot, but he made a little girl’s day by letting her take it. (There were Genie Plus rides available for much of the day, but we found it was pretty common for very few Genie Plus rides to be available by 3 pm in every park except Magic Kingdom.)
– We rode Rise of the Resistance at 8:15 pm. When we finished, my husband was so excited about the ride, he wanted to ride it again. The wait time was 40 minutes, and the park was closing in about 20. The cast member at the line entrance said that as long as you line up by closing time, you can ride it. So, we waited 40 minutes (actually, closer to 30) in the standby line, which had been 3 hours long throughout the day. We walked out after the park closed, but the buses run for an hour after closing.
Other Star Wars land stuff:
– DH and I had a 4 pm reservation at the cantina, which was fun. The snacks were good. The drinks were more entertaining than great. The cast members were hilarious. It’s definitely worth one visit.
– If your son would be interested in building a light saber or robot, find out exactly how far in advance you need to book that experience.
anon says
Not sure if it’s on your radar but I’d suggest working with a disney vacation planner and they should help you solve this. They’re free to use. There was a post a few weeks backs with reccs. We are working with (but haven’t booked with) one called castle and crown.
NOVA Anon says
This is entirely doable even if you do not purchase the line-skipping options. There are only three Star Wars rides in the park, and one of them is almost always a “walk on” (and is not located in Star Wars land, but is in the theme park so your ticket to Hollywood Studios will get you there). Even on peak days when the line for Rise of the Resistance is at its longest (2 to 3 hours), you could still do all three in a single day, plus make a lightsaber. Get there as early as possible or save the ride for the end of the day if you want to avoid that length of a wait. The only risk is that Rise of the Resistance is pretty unreliable and often goes down – and sometimes does not come back up. So you may want to try to hit it as soon as you get into the park so if it does go down when you’re in line, you can go back to it. I think they typically give people who are waiting in line during an extended outage a “free” line skipping option to return later once the ride is back up.
If line skipping is important to you (and for your best chance of riding Rise if you are going for only one day), I suggest that you stay overnight the night before in one of the Disney hotels. The paid line-skipping option for Rise of the Resistance is available at 7 a.m. for those staying on property (and possibly some “Good Neighbor” hotels; I can’t remember) but not until park open for others. My experience last summer was that it often sold out before park open during the summer, except in late August once most schools are back in session. Staying on property also allows you into the park 30 minutes earlier than everyone else, and if you arrive 30 minutes earlier than that, you can get yourself to the front of the “rope drop” line and go straight to Rise, possibly riding it twice in one day (which is totally worth it, esp. for a Star Wars loving teen).
Anon says
I have not been to Disney since the late 1990s (my kids are 2 and newborn) and I had no idea it had gotten so complicated!!!!
Anon says
Not a Disney person but it seems so stressful! I don’t understand why people do this when they could take a real vacation that’s actually relaxing (even a Disney cruise or Aulani seems way more relaxing), but to each their own.
anon2 says
I mean, it really doesn’t have to be. There are people and planners and bloggers who make it WAY over complicated (in an effort to prove their worth? idk). We just went on a trip in February. I was in Orlando for work on Mon-Wed. That Sunday night we said YOLO and booked DH and DD on a flight down to meet me Thursday morning. Zero planning, and I’m pretty darn Type A. It was so great. I would have become obsessed with schedules and planning and the complicated stuff and I just nope’d the heck out of it.
The single thing I did in advance was figure out how to get on rides faster (turns out genie fast pass or something is what does it). We had a phenomenal time. We dined with Cinderella, had character breakfasts and other high-demand dining options (check same day, ppl clearly cancel ALL the time).
Further, the only thing I’d change is the hotel I stayed in. We were at Animal Kingdom Resort and, at the end of a long day at the parks, the wait for and then ride on the bus is LONG. Monorail hotel for sure next time. But, we still had a very lovely, memorable time.
Anonymous says
Oh yeah if you’re specifically looking to do Hollywood Studios, I recommend a hotel that has the skyliner gondolas — we did the Caribbean beach resort and it’s really easy to take the skyliner straight to Hollywood Studios, no buses needed. Plus my kid loved riding it as much as the actual rides.
Anon says
For me, it’s less about the advance planning (which I actually enjoy) and more about all the Genie+ and Lightning Lane stuff you have to do while you’re there to make sure you don’t have to wait in crazy lines. And you have to do it every day at 7 am, right? I’m a night owl with a high sleep needs kid – we’re normally asleep at 7 am unless we’re jetlagged, and setting an alarm to wake up early on vacation isn’t my idea of fun. I also hate the idea of spending SO much money on the tickets and hotels and then having to shell out significant extra money for these skip the line things. I know you can budget for it as if it’s part of the base cost, but it just annoys me that they structure it that way. My kid has thankfully not expressed interest in Disney, but if we were to do it the cruise or Hawaii resort seem so much more low-stress than the theme parks.
Anonymous says
Paying for skip-the-line options bugs me to no end. I think Disney used to have a timed pass system where you could walk up to a ride, get a ticket for a later time, and then come back. You could only have one outstanding ticket at a time. That seemed fair and less logistically complicated.
SC says
Yes, if you’re staying on property, the Lightning Lane/ Genie Plus go on sale at 7 am each morning. Each park has 1-2 rides (the 2 most popular) that are separately purchased (“individual lightning lane”) and sell out for the day quickly–very quickly during crowded times. Standby times for these rides can also be hours long, and it’s just as hard (for me) to swallow standing in line for 3 hours when I’ve paid over $100 to visit the park as it is to spend another $15.
With a small child, the Individual Lightning Lane may not matter as much because they tend to be for the bigger roller coasters or more extreme rides. Of all the Individual Lightning Lane rides when we visited, my just-turned-7-yo was only interested in one (Seven Dwarves Mine Train).
Disney says you can expect to ride 2-4 rides via the lightning lane with “regular” Genie Plus. Whether you need it depends on how crowded the parks are when you visit (both time of year and time of day are factors), how important rides are to your group, and how many rides are in the park you’re visiting. I can definitely see not needing it during a non-peak time at Magic Kingdom, or if you were mostly going to walk around Epcot or Animal Kingdom and enjoy the different areas and shows.
GCA says
I have no good advice for you, but I would have loved to do this as a teenager! Lucky kid!
avocado says
Thanks, everyone! I am hoping to go on a weekday when FL kids are back in school so it’s less crowded, and since we don’t really care about anything but Star Wars I think it’s doable.
Anon says
So you’re planning to go in August? Orlando will be sooooo hot then.
avocado says
That’s when we’ll already be in town, so yes. We did the Harry Potter stuff at Universal around the same time a few years back and it was bearable. Since a dedicated trip is not in the cards we have to take the opportunity that is before us. There is really no such thing as perfect timing for a Disney trip (good weather, lighter crowds, etc.) if you have to work around school schedules anyway.
Cb says
Parenting positivity after yesterday’s convo? I’m in awe of SAHMs after today.
I’m off with my 5.5 year old and we painted Ninjago symbols, he helped me with the laundry, played dinosaur bingo, did reading practice, went to the library, cycled to the skate park, where one of his friends’ dad tried to teach him to rollarskate, went to the walled garden, and then wrapped by falling off his bike at 10 mph and giving himself a fat lip. Some medicinal ice cream and he’s up for his rest before my husband takes over. I should be baking a trial cake and tidying for the cleaner but I’m exhausted. We’ve had a lovely day but working is definitely easier.
Anon says
100%. Big kudos to SAHMs. Was with my 2 kids (9 months, 2.5) for the 4-day weekend, and was alone with both of them yesterday. We had a fun day (park x2, lots of arts and crafts, backyard bubble fun, Target run) but exhausting. I can’t imagine solo parenting 2 little kids 5 days per week…
Anon says
Same. Mine are 2.5 years and 3 months and I’ve solo parented 6 of the past 9 days. They are relatively easy kids but I feel like the constant logistics in my head to make things run smoothly would be absolutely exhausting if it were daily and no breaks.
GCA says
Oh gosh, the tiny-kid ages are HARD. It doesn’t help you now, but I found things really started getting better once my younger kid was 3 or so and much more self-sufficient/ the kids could play together instead of in parallel and I had much longer spans when I didn’t need to be anyone’s entertainment director.
Anon says
In fairness to you, I don’t think most SAHMs are as focused on doing what the kid wants as you describe. They usually have more than one kid and the kids entertain each other, and they spend a fair amount of time doing chores and things like that and the kids either help or play independently. In your example, if they needed to bake a cake they would have baked the cake in the kid’s presence and he could choose to help or play alone, they wouldn’t save the cake-baking for the evening when they’re exhausted. This is not a knock on SAHMs at all – I understand why this is – but I do think the very kid-centric day you describe is not typical for a SAHM.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1 – SAHPs aren’t also distracted by the stuff for work they “should” be doing, or just the mental load of having a career outside of the home. Again, still give them a ton of credit for a job I can’t do but just want to give everyone else some grace :)
Anon says
My mom always said that my children, who had a nanny when they were younger, had far more undivided attention than my brother and I ever did. She was usually busy with other household “stuff” when we were growing up. I remember her always being around, but not really playing with us.
Also, agreed with the above regarding siblings. I find it so much harder when I have a kid home solo for the day. Starting when my kids were around 4 and 6, they happily spend the day just moving from one activity to the next, and I just periodically leave food out for them to grab. Or not, and they just graze on their way past the kitchen.
Anon says
really? i find one so much easier bc my 4 year old twins often fight with each other and for mom’s attention when they are home and i’m trying to get stuff done
Anon says
Yah…I’m a SAHM with three kids and when they are quietly playing together well it’s great, but when they aren’t it’s very hard. I spend whole days coaching people through disagreements, or making sure they aren’t loving the baby too hard, or having sword fights that will quickly devolve from laughing to crying. It’s much simpler to have one kid at a time (for me).
Anon says
Two 4 year olds is probably harder since you don’t have an older child to help regulate the interactions between the kids. You might see it more when they are both 5. But yes, around that age, I used to keep them both home from daycare even if only one was sick. I figured they’d both get it eventually anyway, and I could actually get chunks of work done if they were together. Similarly, I could sit quietly at a park while they ran around together. They are now 8 and 10, and I still like it when they get sick together, as they spend the day bumming around together. Their relationship was about the only thing that let us all survive during COVID. My 8 year old, in particular, really needs a lot of parental “hand-holding” that he doesn’t require when his older sister is around.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I think this is very kid dependent. My two can play together, but it often dissolves into fights. The older one is not the stereotypical older, wiser one – he tends to tease and pick fights when he’s upset. One on one time with each is much easier, at least at these ages (almost 7 and 4.5).
Anon says
I think twins are a little different. When there’s more of an age difference there’s generally more play and less fighting (above a certain age, I think 4 and 6 is about right as the other poster said).
Anonymous says
I think the expectation that parents will give their children constant attention and stimulation is relatively new. It’s exhausting. It certainly wasn’t that way when I was growing up. My mother never played with us, it probably never occurred to her that she should, and it never occurred to me to demand it. She taught me to read and that was about it.
Anon says
It’s interesting, I had a “2020s mom” even though I grew up in the 80s and 90s. I was an only child and she stayed home and spent nearly every waking moment engaging me in creative, educational play. I adore my mom, but I think she did me a disservice in the long run. I never had to learn how to relate to my peers because I had a dedicated playmate for so much of my childhood.
Perhaps because of my upbringing, I’ve never felt pressure to entertain my kid. On weekends we do things we mutually enjoy like reading together, baking and going to the children’s museum but I don’t “play” and I have no guilt about doing chores or carving out time for myself in her presence. How to cope with boredom and how to play independently are really important skills for kids to learn! I also feel no guilt about taking her to the park and telling her to find another kid to play with while I read or listen to a podcast. Being able to approach new people and start a conversation/game is going to be much more useful to her long term than an hour of play with her mom would be.
Just my perspective as someone who grew up with the style of parenting that’s so trendy today…
Anonymous says
There is an in-between there. You can make sure your kids have other children to play with when possible and also play with them yourself sometimes. I played tag and pretended to be dogs with my dad, I had tea parties with my grandmother and our animals, I went on pirate adventures in the pool with my mum, I played on my own and built lego pens for an imaginary zoo full of made up creatures. I also had friends and ran around the playground and invented elaborate games with ever changing rules. It’s good to do things you enjoy with your kids, but its not like most children can’t handle playing with kids or adults or both in different situations.
Anon says
For sure, I’m not saying “don’t ever play with your kids.” I’m just saying people who aren’t constantly entertaining their kids shouldn’t feel guilty about it the way many people here seem to. It’s good for kids to learn how to play independently and to have to seek out other kids to play with and you can make lots of happy memories even if you spend a decent chunk of the day doing chores or having them play without you.
Anon says
Ha I would probably try to bake the cake all day, but the toddler would scream or wreak havoc or fight his nap and then the grade schoolers would come home and have lots of school angst to unload and then it’d be time to start dinner and therefore I’d be baking it at night anyway :) It seems like there’s a lot of time when you’re home with kids, and some days there is, but it’s hard to count on.
But in seriousness, correct, I dont have the work stress or mental load on top of it all and that’s a big deal (and one of the reasons I chose SAHMotherhood). I have three kids; the olders are in grade school but I have a small toddler at home. And I want another! If parenting wasn’t a big net positive, there’s no way I’d consider four.
Allie says
Well, there’s a reason that being a full-time childcare provider is itself a career that people have. Like any other job, some people are more suited to it than others and thus it’s “easier” for them. I’m sure plenty of SAHMs (or professional childcare providers) would find it harder to be a doctor/lawyer/engineer/whatever. If you were a SAHM, you’d likely have a routine down, which would probably not involve 3 different outside-the-home destinations every day. Somehow the implication in this post that being a SAHM is “actually harder!” than working outside the home is rubbing me the wrong way.
Cb says
Yeah it’s true, I am not usually solo with kiddo, so there was an element of not having a routine and wanting to say yes to things as it’s a rare treat. We are off together tomorrow but going to the science festival, and I honestly find being out of the house all day easier with 1. He played with the neighbour kids yesterday, and we could potter.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I think many people would consider my day job hard and would never want to do it. It suits me well and I’m good at it. Staying at home would be torture for me. But we’re all different and that’s ok! I wish moms weren’t put in a box of one being better than the other, although I know we’re all guilty of it.
Anon says
my child has some odd bug. we were out of town last week wednesday – saturday and on saturday evening shortly before getting on our flight home she said her tummy hurt, but in the same sentence said she was hungry so we didnt think much of it, and then an hour later she was puking on the flight. Sunday she was kind of out of sorts, and said her tummy hurt a bit, but she kept food down, no fever, and i figured she was just exhausted from the very late bedtime. yesterday she went to school and gymnastics and had a great day, ate dinner, etc. and then woke up at like 11pm vomiting again, so had to keep her home from school today. seems so random/inconsistent. anyone else’s kiddo have something like this
Cb says
This sounds weird, but my friend’s son just had something similar and it turned out to be strep.I just think there is so many weird things going around. We’ve had multiple cases of scarlet fever, etc at my son’s school.
Anonymous says
Scarlet fever???!!! I just read that section of All of a Kind Family with my kids last week but wow, that sounds very 1910!
Anon says
I also think it might be strep and would take her to a doctor. When my 5 year old had strep recently, she did not complain about a sore throat at all. Her main complaint for the first was intermittently saying “my tummy hurts” and running a low grade fever. She didn’t vomit, but she’s not much of a vomiter in general (has only had one stomach bug in her life) and our ped said many kids vomit.
Anon says
*for the first few days
GCA says
Oh, interesting. Did you find out it was strep only because you took her in and they tested? I wouldn’t even think to take kid to the ped for a couple days of low-grade fever and barfing – I usually assume it’s one of those kid viruses and there’s nothing you can really do but address the symptoms and make the kid more comfortable. We just had a round of this over Easter weekend – a fever, barfing once or twice – and kiddo is fully bouncy and back at daycare today.
Anon says
In my case, it had been going on for about 4 or 5 days when we finally took her in, because like you said low grade fever and occasional stomach stuff could potentially be a routine virus. The day we took her in she tested positive for strep and that evening she spiked a 104 fever and got REALLY sick before the antibiotics had a chance to kick in, and I felt really bad. YMMV but my kid has never had any illness like this so in hindsight we should have gone in earlier (she gets lots of colds, etc. but there’s never any stomach stuff with her unless it’s a norovirus and those are much more intense vomiting and pass quickly). But I know there are kids who get sick to their stomach even with respiratory stuff. I will say that I was surprised when our ped said stomach pain and nausea is a very common strep throat symptom, because I did not know that. I assumed if she wasn’t complaining about a sore throat it couldn’t be strep but apparently that’s not accurate.
OP says
we have an appointment this afternoon. almost hoping it is strep bc then she can take antibiotics and feel better, but then i also feel badly she’s been suffering for a few days. and i’m suffering too as i listen to her scream for mommy as I try to WFH while she is with our nanny
Anon says
My son often has bugs like this – I think it takes a while for his stomach to get fully back to normal, and there’s something about lying down at night that leads to vomiting. One of my friends also was like this and realized that if she ate dairy in the days following a bug she would vomit again. I’ve also heard from people that sometimes their kids get weird lingering vomit episodes before a growth spurt!
Tbh if he’s been fine during the day and it’s a one off vomit early in the night he still goes to school (I keep him home for a full 24+ hours during the initial illness, and I know this is his typical “pattern.”)
Anonymous says
This is how strep presents in my 6 year old. He never runs fever just complains his tummy hurts. Good luck! This year has been a doozy for illness.
Returning to work says
I’m returning to work next week after my second mat leave and finding it MUCH harder, emotionally, than the first time around. Logistics are the same (same job although bigger/more responsibilities, same childcare which is a nanny so i still see them during the day and will nurse). Maybe bc it is (maybe?) our last baby? Sigh. Wish US mat leave was longer than 12 weeks.
Anon says
I wish it were too. We’re planning to both take 12 weeks or more and just live off savings. We’re lucky we could choose to do that and so many women aren’t in that position.
GCA says
Somewhat kid-related in that it will mean a big move and much more living space: we just put in an offer on a house in MN, very near BIL and SIL… eek! Wish me luck!
Boston Legal Eagle says
Wow, good luck! MA will miss you but nice for you to be near more family!
AwayEmily says
oh wow! My family is from MN (a lot of them are still there) and it’s just such a wonderful place. Amazing lakes up north, the cities are great — good luck!
Anon says
Congrats! I’ve never lived in Minnesota but we made a big cross-country move to the Midwest and have been happy. There’s a real freedom to life in a lower cost of living, less traffic-y area that I didn’t fully appreciate until we moved. And being near family is wonderful!! My parents are local but I’m jealous of everyone who has cousins for their kids nearby.
Anonymous says
This is why we moved from the Boston area to the SEUS. Everything is just so easy and relaxed here compared with the other places we’ve lived in the Northeast and in California. And we can actually afford to live here. The tradeoff is that we don’t really fit in culturally, but that’s shifting as more and more people flee HCOL areas to live here.
AwayEmily says
YES! I live in a LCOL city in the Northeast and I like to say I have “rusty handcuffs” (lame rust belt joke). I live near family and everything is just so easy and so cheap (especially housing!). There’s no traffic, nothing is more than 15 minutes away (including the airport), but I still get to live in an urban neighborhood and walk to work. I lived in DC and Boston before this and I don’t think I could ever go back.
Anonymous says
The “rusty handcuffs” are no joke. The downside of living in an area with low housing costs is that we haven’t had the enormous gains in home equity that other areas have seen, so we’ll never be able to afford to buy a house anywhere else.
anonM says
LOL never heard that one, but midwestener here and yup, can confirm.
Anon says
Same about the rusty handcuffs! Never heard that phrase before, but I’m totally stealing it (I’m also in the rust belt, but the other end of it). We’re far (>1 hour) from an airport and not close enough to walk to work, and I would love if those things were different, but the low cost of living, lack of traffic, and general ease to life here is definitely a compelling reason to stay. I lived in the Bay Area and Boston before this and can’t imagine going back, especially with a family. All my friends that stayed in the Bay Area post-kids are dual tech exec couples who are doing REALLY well (I’m guessing HHIs in the $500k-$1M range, if not higher) and bought single family homes for >$3M… our house cost 10% of that.