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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 74 Comments · by

Feeding Tuesday: 360 Toothbrush

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Baby Buddy 360 Toothbrush | CorporetteMomsI happened to see this toothbrush recently in a store and decided to snap it up — good thing, since my youngest is now obsessed with it. (Although truth be told he’s always kind of been into teeth brushing.) I like that I really feel like I can get all angles — even if the kiddo does that lovely “clamping down” thing they do. The toothbrush is available as part of Amazon’s Subscribe & Save service, but if you want to buy it only once it’s $11.83. Baby Buddy 360 Toothbrush  (L-2)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything
  • Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs

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Comments

  1. Philanthropy Girl says

    Thanks, Kat. My son has one that has a suction cup on the bottom so it stands up and suctions to the counter. I’ve liked that one, but we need to replace now that he’s chewed it to bits. This might be a good option.

  2. Ciao, pues says

    Is there a product out there that makes dining room chairs tip-proof? I’m envisioning a heavy duty cap that goes on the end of the back legs in the shape of an L or something like that. For all my googling, I’m coming up short.

    • mascot says

      What’s the worry? Tipping while sitting in them or the child pulling the chair down on top of themselves when cruising by?
      We’ve had 2 incidents where our son pushed back from the table with his legs and flipped backwards. Scared him pretty good (and cracked a chair), but he wasn’t hurt at all. The second time he really learned his lesson and is now super careful about getting up. So it can happen, but the solution seemed to be child training. His seat isn’t close to a wall so there wasn’t danger of him hitting that.
      We kept the chairs pushed under the table the rest of the time. They aren’t super heavy so even if he had pulled one over on himself, it wouldn’t really hurt him.

      • Ciao, pues says

        Tipping while sitting. We definitely are trying to teach the kiddo not to do that, but we also have tile floors so I’m a little worried to go the teach-by-doing route. I’d rather install something (but what?) to keep the chairs from tipping than have to rush to the ER for the sake of letting him figure it out on his own.

        • mascot says

          I hear ya. Could you change his chair type? We have a Keekaroo chair and the base is pretty sturdy (we didn’t get extra gliders). Neither of the flipping incidents occurred in that chair. Stokke and Badger Basket chairs may also have the extended gliders.
          There may be some of those furniture straps made for chairs

          [Ed. note: Link was deleted because it was broken, sorry!]

          • Ciao, pues says

            Hm, we might have to get a new chair. We’ve graduated from a stand alone high chair to a booster at a regular dining room chair and have come close to falling too many times for comfort. The chairs are heavy and sturdy, but the curve of the back legs makes them tippier than I’d like. Thanks for the thoughts!

  3. NewMomAnon says

    Thanks to the commenters here, I was able to deduce that my kiddo was struggling with really bad constipation last night, leave a message for the doctor before it became urgent, and then live to tell the tale when it did become urgent (it was like watching someone giving birth…shudder). Lessons taken from that for the other toddler moms here: keep a pediatric enema on hand always (but don’t use it unless doctor recommends), keep Miralax on hand at all times (same), and my kiddo loves prunes so maybe she’ll have one of those a day from here on out.

    • LSC says

      We do wheat germ + probiotics daily and it has made a world of difference!

    • Anonymous says

      You might want to be on the watch for whether she tries to hold it for the next few days. Sometimes after a painful episode, they try to avoid it altogether. The Miralax should keep the next time from being painful, which helps.

  4. JEB says

    When do you start brushing teeth? My daughter (10.5 months) has two teeth, but we haven’t started any brushing. I’ve seen conflicting information in terms of fluoride versus non-fluoride and when to start. I’m thinking I should, at the very least, get a toothbrush and start trying to use it so she starts to get used to it.

    • NewMomAnon says

      The advice changed recently, so there is a lot of outdated advice floating around. The new recommendation is to brush as soon as they get teeth (but especially once they have molars), and to use a smear of flouride toothpaste for brushing. My pediatrician described a “smear” as half a grain of rice, but a visiting pediatric dentist provided a picture of a “smear” versus a “pea size” amount and that was more helpful for me. I bet if you google it, you’ll find some good images.

      I found that my kiddo loves brushing her own teeth, but doesn’t want to relinquish the toothbrush to me. When she was littler, I often brushed her teeth while holding her upside down (I would sit on the couch or a chair and lay her down my legs, upside down). Now we “hunt for bunnies” in her teeth and cheer if we “find” one (which means I announce that we have found a bunny, and then we cheer).

      • CHJ says

        I’m going to try the “hunt for bunnies” technique!

        My strategy is to sing a very, very prized song while brushing DS’s teeth. Right now the song is either Wheels on the Bus or The Ants Go Marching. If he chomps on the toothbrush or tries to grab it out of my hand, I stop singing until he let’s me brush again. Works like a charm!

        • NewMomAnon says

          Last night we hunted for robots and I did everything in a robot voice. She was giggling so much she kept her mouth open the whole time.

          • Anonymous says

            OMG. I think I will replace bunnies and robots with hippos, but you have given me a great idea for making brushing less painful (for mom and toddler).

  5. Stroller says

    We’re considering getting a Britax B Agile 3/B-Safe 35 stroller/car seat combo. We live in a large city and walk a lot, but also have a small car. Anyone have experience, good or bad? We like the fact that we can use the infant seat right away and then the stroller for later, and the fact that it seems easy to fold, plus the reasonable price. However, concerned that the back wheels are a little bulky and may be an issue when navigating small streets and shop aisles. The other stroller we’re considering is the UppaBaby Cruz. It’s a little narrower and the basket seems better but not sure if that’s worth the extra expense.

    • Maddie Ross says

      I had the B-Agile and B-Safe combination and we really liked it. We live in a medium sized city though, so a lot of our transport is by car, not always by stroller. I think it’s held up well (we still use now at almost 3). It is easy to fold and gets relatively small, and is light enough that I could handle when I was still recovering. I’ve used it in stores and I’ll be honest, I’ve gotten hung up on things a few times. But I’m not sure that anything other than a small umbrella would really turn those corners better.

    • Butter says

      Following along for comments. We are considering Chicco Keyfit 30 seat + Uppababy Cruz. Ditto on the urban living but also have one regular-size car.

    • NewMomAnon says

      I have the Britax B-Agile and we used the B-safe seat. It’s been fine. I don’t love it, but it gets the job done.

      The B-Safe seat was heavy, but I think most of those infant buckets are heavy. I thought the car seat was easy to install and easy to get the bucket in and out of the car and in and out of the stroller. The stroller basket is a little hard to access, and you have to buy all the accessories separately (so, a console with a cup holder, or a stroller tray, or the rain cover are all extra). If UppaBaby comes with those, factor that into the price.

      I felt like the stroller was about middle of the pack as far as size; bigger than an umbrella stroller or snap and go, but not as big as some of the strollers I saw being pushed around. I generally have to leave it outside at restaurants and stores with close-set shelves. But it fits on the conveyer belt at the airport, which is a plus. I tend to use an umbrella stroller now when we go to restaurants or small shops, since my kiddo is old enough to manage the umbrella stroller.

      FYI, the B-Agile takes up most of my trunk when folded flat (my car is a small SUV); if you have a small car, see if you can test out whether it will fit in your trunk at all if you plan to bring it on car trips. I actually had to ditch the stroller for one road trip and buy an umbrella stroller at my destination because I couldn’t fit the stroller and the suitcases in the back.

    • Anonymous says

      Don’t have experience w the b agile but I have a Cruz and love it. It’s so… Sturdy. The basket is awesome and it handles great. My baby hates the car seat with a passion so we don’t use it with the stroller. We recline the seat all the way and use it with the newborn insert. For store trips where we drive, I take her out of the car seat and put her in the wrap or ergo. The Cruz is pretty heavy and doesn’t fold as easily as some strollers (eg city mini), so it’s a bit of a pain to manage with the car. But we don’t take it in the car that often and I’m always glad to have it when we do (eg the zoo).

    • sfg says

      I see a lot of B-Agiles in my city where lots of people walk everywhere. I went with the Cruz, though, and I love it. It fits in the back of my Prius fine, although like PP, we don’t take it in the car a lot. The basket is amazing if you will be walking to run errands (esp. grocery shopping).

    • Philanthropy Girl says

      I really like my B-Agile/B-Safe combo. The stroller looks very comfy, it has a wonderful deep hood on it. The infant seat snaps in and out easily. I never thought much of the weight of the infant seat – but the time I was recovered enough to carry it, it never seemed to bother me until LO was about big enough to out grow it.

  6. Pogo says

    Hey guys, you might remember I was somewhat active on here back in the winter/early Spring. I had a bit of a life crisis that put baby-making on the back burner, but I’m in a much better place now (personally and professionally). We’re still hoping to add a little one to the family – my new job is close to home, and doesn’t have me working 12-15 hour days and travelling to Europe every month.

    My question to you ladies is, I’m coming up on 1 full year of “trying”, though with the caveats of the above paragraph in mind, maybe we weren’t “trying” as much as we thought we were the whole time (you can’t get pregnant if you and DH are not on the same continent). But we did have at least 6 or 7 months of well-timed “trying” in there. I scheduled an appointment with my OB (my normal yearly checkup) for next month.

    What should I expect given our 1+ year of trying and no success? What, if anything, should I push for from her? I don’t want to be that obnoxious, overly ambitious, type-A patient but… that’s kind of who I am. Right now I’m back and forth between “Do whatever science you need so I can have a baby, don’t you dare tell me to just RELAX” and “Oh god did I really overwork myself into infertility? Do I need to live at a spa for a year??”

    fwiw, I’ve had nothing done from the OB, other than regular exam and going off birth control. I haven’t had hormone levels tested or anything. I’m curious what the steps are and what I should press for when she’s like, “Oh, you just relax honey! It’ll happen!”

    • Anonymous says

      Went through something similar. About a year of trying, though admittedly some of it half hearted. Doctor wanted to make sure I was ovulating. I think I came in for some kind of test midway through my cycle. That turned out fine. Next step was to send husband to get his sp*rm tested. That ended up taking a while to get scheduled and we ended up getting pr*gnant before his appointment. About 15 months after pulling the goalie, so to speak. The only other thing I remember the doctor saying was to relax, have fun, and to have s*x right before I thought I was ovulating vs. when I thought I was b/c sp*rm can live in your body for up to 72 hrs. whereas your egg is only good for 24 or so, 48 max. Not sure that made the difference but it ended up working out. Good luck.

    • rakma says

      If your OB’s only advice is to relax, I’d get a new OB. That’s not to say that they need to immediately refer you to a fertility specialist, but they should certainly offer more information than that. My sorta crunchy midwives suggested ovulation tracking and charting after about 6 months of trying, as well as the timing advice Anonymous at 11:45 got.

    • Chi Squared says

      I would go see a reproductive endocrinologist for a consult and bypass your OB entirely. The RE will probably do some blood draws to measure various hormone levels (estrogen, FSH, AMH), including some on day 3 of your cycle, possibly a vaginal ultrasound to see if you have eggs maturing, possibly a HSG to see if you have any blockages in your fallopian tubes, and your husband should get a sperm count/test. Also, if you haven’t read it already, definitely pick up Taking Charge of Your Fertility. You could also start temping, and paying attention to your cervical mucus to confirm ovulation and help with timing of intercourse.

    • Anon for this says

      How old are you now? I think that will have a big impact on what your OB should/will do. If you’re 35+ or getting close to it, the full year of no BC alone will probably be enough for some OBs to do a referral for additional testing. If you’re under 35, the advice may just be to be a little more specific in your attempts and start tracking, etc. How concerned you should be and how much you should push? In my opinion and experience, this is partly dependent on your age and partly dependent on really asking yourself how much you were actually trying. Natural family planning is real and while there are slip ups, you could legit have s*x for years at a time and if you’re not doing it at the right times, it’s just not going to happen. That does not mean you’re infertile or need all sorts of medical interventions.

    • been there says

      Would push hard to get the hubs tested. My OB was able to write the order and send me home from my appt with the collection container and directions for him to use/submit it even though she’s obviously not his doc. It was cheap and easy.

      Beyond that, define well timed. Do you know for sure you were ovulating? Common recs on here are to read and follow Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Or you can use OPKs. Or push your OB for testing.

      I have other suggestions if you have more details…

    • Butter says

      No words of wisdom, just wanted to say welcome back and congrats on the new job situation – I remember your posts from last year. And good luck with the doc!

    • Pogo says

      Thanks guys – These sorts of things are helpful to know.

      I read Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant, and I did temp/chart for 6-7 months. So that’s good that I have those charts to bring with me, I guess? In those months we tried to have s*x every day in the 4-5 days before ovulation, which seemed to me like it should do the trick! In the other months, things were more hit or miss (like only once or twice in that window, or not at all). I was ovulating (based on charting) at a consistent time every month so I thought things would work out eventually. But there were, like I said 6 or 7 times where we hit the mark perfectly looking back at my chart, so I was really bummed that nothing ever worked.

      Last month we even got that pre-seed stuff. No dice. I’m about to turn 30, so while I’m not “old” yet by any means, I’m mostly annoyed that my life isn’t working out how I planned in terms of having a baby by the time I’m 30. I feel so defeated by my own body. And also annoyed at the thousands of dollars I spent on birth control all these years, when it apparently wouldn’t have mattered!!

      • Anon @ 11 45 says

        First, fertility is a mysterious thing. It may very much have mattered when you were spending that money on BC. Second, it could be any number of things, including the fact that for some couples trying every day works less well than trying every other day! There’s no one universal way to get this right. Life happens on its own schedule. Cut yourself a little slack. And you could still have a baby when you’re 30. And even if you have one at 31 or 32, the world will not end.

      • anon says

        I was in a similar situation earlier this year (pregnant now!). I think the one-year mark is when doctors will start to take you seriously, so I don’t think your doctor will lump you in with the anxious type-A people who have only been trying for one month and are asking for a battery of tests. To make your doctor take you more seriously, I would act as though you’ve been trying for the full year (even if you were not as serious about it during some of the months). I think the first things they check are (1) your blood work and (2) your husband’s sperm count, so I wouldn’t leave my appointment satisfied unless you have a plan for doing both of those things.

        I would try the following in the mean time: (1) clear blue easy ovulation predictor kits (the electronic kind that gives a smiley when you are ovulating) and (2) keep using the pre-seed (using it with the applicator as directed). I had been charting too, but when I added in the OPKs and the pre-seed, it all came together. I think the OPKs are helpful because they let you know ovulation is coming in advance (whereas, with charting, you only find out you ovulated after the fact).

        And don’t be discouraged! I think the biggest thing is remaining positive and very “zen” about the whole thing. There are SO many options for fertility treatments, some are as easy as taking a pill to regulate your hormones. So even if you do have some minor issue, in all likelihood it is the kind of thing that can be easily corrected once your doctor knows what it is. Good luck!

      • Natasha says

        Sounds pretty similar to what I went through. Went off BC a month before I turned 28 (always envisioned 2 kids – one at 28, one at 30) and at first it was basically no protection but not trying. Then after 6 months or so with nothing, we started to get a bit more serious with trying to track and time things. At right around the 1 year mark I did get pregnant, but miscarried. I realized after that and re-reading things and finally getting a tracker app that I was actually off somewhat on my determination of when we should have s*x versus ovulation, because I have a really long cycle. We also bought a home kit to test hubby’s sp*rm during that time (which came out good). I’m assuming you can still buy them on the internet if your husband is not enthusiastic about testing himself in a doctors office yet to rule it out or determine more testing on his end. I became pregnant 2 cycles after my MC and then went on to deliver an awesome kid. 18 months later became preggo with #2, who is also awesome.
        All that aside, I feel like the things that really helped when I was TTC both times were eating really healthy, exercising more, and quitting drinking almost entirely (other than a drink or two at a holiday party).

    • Anon says

      We tried for 14 months and were in the process of getting testing done when I got pregnant. I had been tracking period / trying times with an app and had pretty good data to share.

      She was not a fertility GYN, but had me take a blood test to determine ovarian reserve and then recommended a fertility specialist in their network so he would have the test results the day I went in. She also (incorrectly) gave me a TDAP vaccine. I will actually have to get another one at the end of the month so the baby will be born with some antibodies, but two tetanus shots that close together is generally not recommended. (It’ll be fine — the more tetanus shots you get though, the less effective they are.)

      Since 50% of fertility problems are due to the male partner, my husband was already in the process of getting tested. I honestly don’t know what other people are talking about regarding “take home” tests for men — my husband’s sample had to be done twice because the first time it wasn’t in the lab within 30 minutes. None of his tests were covered by insurance. Oddly, that made them easier to book so he got started first.

      While my doctor totally supported my going to a specialist, her real recommendation was that husband and I go on vacation together. His doctor recommended he lose some weight and start taking better care of his health if he wanted to have more than one kid. But we’re both early/mid 30s on the East Coast, so I think they felt we were very young to be worrying.

  7. NewMomAnon says

    I need to stop posting today, but I can’t find the answer to this anywhere – I am finally going to start watching what I eat, since I’ve gained 15 pounds in the last year. My kiddo still nurses at night and in the morning, but I would be shocked if she gets even 3-4 ounces across both nursing sessions. I’ve been doing moderate calorie restriction for 3 days (eating about 1450 calories a day, with upward adjustments for exercise per my Fitbit) and I am SO HUNGRY. Is this a function of my body adjusting to significantly less junk food (it had gotten out of control), or should I try to make some calorie adjustment for nursing?

    All the articles I’ve found assume that I want to preserve my supply and that I have an infant who is still getting significant amounts of milk, neither of which apply.

    • mascot says

      A sudden change/focus on diet or exercise makes me so hungry. It’s generally mental though, not as much real need for food. Can you add in some crunchy snacks (fruit, veggies, popcorn) and increase your fluid intake? I had several friends tell me that they couldn’t lose the last few pound until they weaned, no matter what else they did. I think biology works against you here.

      • CHJ says

        I definitely couldn’t lose the last 5 lbs or so while I was still nursing, even when I was only nursing 1-2x/day. What has worked for me is focusing on getting enough protein at every meal, making sure each meal is big enough that I don’t get hungry an hour later and start snacking, and drinking a lot of water.

        It’s so hard while nursing though! Good luck!

    • Katarina says

      I personally found that during the time where I was partially nursing, I was still extremely hungry like when I was fully nursing, but obviously I was not burning as many calories. I personally found it impossible to lose weight during that period of time because of the hunger. I did find it somewhat useful to eat a larger lunch. The hunger got better after I fully weaned.

      • NewMomAnon says

        Yes! I feel like I’m as hungry as I was when nursing full time. I’m trying to focus on protein instead of carbs, thinking that might be more filling and nutritious, but my stomach is growling loudly enough that someone on a conference call noticed it and made a joke. Yay.

    • rakma says

      Even when just nursing once a day, I was hungry all the time. With in a month of weaning fully, I started to forget to eat, was bringing home half my lunch uneaten, and went back to about my pre-pregnancy weight, with out really trying. You may need to account for those nursing calories. Even if it’s only a few ounces, if it’s high calorie/high fat, your body needs a lot of calories to produce it.

  8. Working hard while pregnant says

    I am a 5th year biglaw associate and 16 weeks pregnant with my first baby. I’ve worked incredibly hard at my firm, received excellent reviews, and have great relationships with the partners I work with. Since I became pregnant, however, I’ve been really struggling. My first trimester was difficult because I was nauseous all day every day. Now that I’m in my second trimester, I’m feeling great but I just cannot work as long of hours as I used to.

    I don’t have the sort of debilitating all-day exhaustion that people talk about — I feel great during the day with plenty of energy, but when it gets to about 8 PM, I become so tired and basically can only do mindless tasks like put in a load of laundry or wash dishes, and get ready for bed and read a book until I pass out at 10 pm. I used to be able to stay up really late when needed without much of an issue and do not typically need a ton of sleep to function. It feels weird to be so out of control of my body, but I feel like I owe it to myself and the health of my baby to stop working and go to bed when I am feeling so exhausted at night.

    Unfortunately, I didn’t realize how often I utilized the time between 8 and 11 pm to work on really demanding high-concentration type work that I cannot get to when I am on calls all day. Now that I don’t have those night time working hours, I feel constantly behind on all of my deals, to the extent that even when I’m not working, I am not enjoying the thrill of going to bed early with a book–I am feeling anxious about everything I should be doing instead. I also feel like I am failing at “leaning in” before my maternity leave. I’ve tried to do a lot of catching up on the weekends, but even that is draining because it leaves me without time to recharge/hang out with my husband/run errands etc.

    I’m still billing plenty of hours, but not as many as I should, given how busy I am right now. My colleagues know that I am pregnant, but I don’t want to destroy all of the credibility I’ve built up for the past 5 years by asking for less work. I’m on the brink of tears most days and I’m not usually someone who cries. I feel like I am letting everyone down and totally failing at the working mother juggling act already, and the baby is not even here yet. Ugh. Any advice?

    • anon says

      I don’t have any advice, only commiseration. I too was accustomed to working very hard to put out my very best work product, and I did just fine with minimal sleep when needed. Since being pregnant, and now being back to work, I am still finding that it is very difficult to work hard with an infant. I’m even more exhausted when I get home at night, and working on the weekend is impossible unless my spouse takes care of the baby or we have childcare. Some of the commenters here have noted that they traded on their credibility at work when they necessarily had to ramp down/put out less than perfect work, and I think that has worked for me.

    • Leaning says

      I had two very healthy, normal pregnancies, and I became basically incapable of working that “second shift” during both. I needed the down time and the ability to relax at night, and even if I did work from 8 to 10, the work was sub-par and I was inefficient in finishing it.

      A few things helped. First, I just tried to become more efficient during the day. I “found” a lot of hours during the day by cutting down on Internet, long lunches, and long conversations with colleagues. This was actually really good practice for after the baby came and I went back to work. Second, I trained myself to start earlier in the morning, when I was (for the first time in my life) more productive and alert. I found I could accomplish the same number of tasks between 8 and 9AM as I could between 8 and 10PM. After taking one Saturday to catch up on the things that had lagged behind, I actually felt like I started the day ahead, rather than spending the day knowing I had big tasks hanging over my head to complete that night (the all day dread also made it harder to tackle at night).

      Finally, yes, cash in some of that credibility that you have banked, and take a hard look at whether you are doing something b/c you THINK you need to complete it – or b/c you actually have to complete it. People will notice your subtle schedule changes less than you think they will.

      And, enjoy that time after work on the couch with your feet up. Watch tv, read, and go to bed early :)

  9. PregLawyer says

    Grandma issues: I need to have a difficult conversation with my mother about how she acts/takes care of my son. He’s 3.5 months. She’s 65. She is incredibly smart and was a great mom. She is still working as a lawyer, but is starting to take more time off. She wants to watch the baby on occasion — pick him up from daycare in the afternoon and hang out. I am all for it. BUT, I have noticed that she doesn’t quite *get* safety standards. She got a car seat base for her car that fits our car seat. When she came to pick him up from my house one day, I saw that the base was just completely loose and not leveled. I tightened it and told her that she should read the instructions to make sure it’s installed correctly. Then she ended up getting her own car seat so she can do impromptu pick-ups from daycare. When she dropped him off the other day, the straps in the car seat were loose and my baby’s head was slumped over (he was sleeping). Again, I told her how she needed to tighten the straps and that he needed to have neck support whenever he’s in the seat. She just said that she’d never used this car seat before so she didn’t know how it worked.

    I’m pretty pissed off. I need to have a conversation with her explaining that if she’s going to get any gear, she needs to read the instructions and make sure it’s safe for the baby. But I just can’t believe I actually have to have this conversation. I’m more concerned that her approach to parenting/watching my baby is just incompatible. I don’t know how she can just not educate herself on basic safety standards, or not check to make sure she’s using gear consistently with the instructions.

    If anyone has any advice about how to have this conversation, please toss it my way. My mom does NOT take criticism well, so I’m basically dreading this (necessary) talk. Thanks!

    • Anonymous says

      Obviously I’m bringing my own issues to the table here but is there an underlying tone of passive-aggressiveness that your mom is bringing to the table? Otherwise I’m not sure that grandparents regularly “educate themselves on basic safety standards” or read instruction manuals to “make sure she’s using gear consistently with the instructions.”
      I think the burden may be on you here whenever she gets a swing/seat/etc to assume she doesn’t know how to use it and walk her through it. Safety equipment has changed a lot in 30 years. I was watching home videos just this past weekend and our car seats as kids were like little plastic shells basically designed to keep us from falling over, not protect us, so she legitimately may not be aware of these things. Just walk her through things and then tell her that if she gets a toy/gear, you’ll be glad to read the instruction book for her so you can learn together.
      Also, I’m from a viewpoint in which I would buy and install and instruct all kinds of gear if I could just get the set of grandparents that live close to us to take even a remote interest in spending time with my kids…

    • CHJ says

      My parents have similar issues when it comes to car seats. I think they’re just out of touch. My solution has been to physically install the car seat for them (sounds like you’ve already done this), and nag them about using it properly. It has taken a few episodes of bossiness (from me), but they’ve gotten the hang of it. But they are also very coachable and have no trouble taking constructive criticism, and it sounds like your mom is more difficult?

    • NewMomAnon says

      Both sets of grandparents had a tough time with the car seats – those seats are actually pretty intimidating. We ended up installing the bases in their cars, because no matter how many times we showed them, they never got them in right. And I actually had them practice putting the baby into the infant seat with me. I remember a nurse at the pediatrician’s office showing me how to snap the baby into the car seat when she was about a week old because I hadn’t done it correctly, even after reading the manual several times. It’s hard.

      Could you also be uncomfortable with grandma being alone with your baby? I really struggled with the grandparents picking up the baby and taking her places without me being present, especially when she was less than 6 months old. A friend told me that it would be fine, but….it felt like a major threat to me as a mom and to my kiddo’s safety. I still don’t understand what happened, but hormones probably played a big role, because the grandparents aren’t any better at installing car seats but now I LOVE to have them pick up kiddo at daycare and give me a night off.

    • mascot says

      Yeah, I think you will get more traction here if you approach it in a “these carseats can be a pain to install; let me show you some tricks we learned.” Carseats have changed significantly and the advice changes every couple of years (case in point, the recent switch from 1 to 2 years for rear-facing). There have been huge leaps car safety technology and just getting kids 1) in the back seat and 2) in child seats past toddlerhood are big improvements from when we were kids. So when you are thinking that, oh his chest clip is a little low, she is remembering how kids rode in the front middle seat at age 5.
      It’s hard because we are the information generation. We see on FB every day about some tragic thing that happened to a child while not seeing the 100,000 kids who got across town safely. Our parents didn’t have that pressure. And, presumably, she is a good caretaker if you trust her with your child. So give her the benefit of the doubt that she is doing a good job, but could be a little rusty.

    • KJ says

      In my area you can take your car/car seat/baby to a car seat inspection place and they will give you a tutorial on all the best practices for car seat use and make sure the seat is installed properly in your car. If you have something similar in your area, maybe you take your mom and her car and go do that?

    • (was) due in june says

      I bought another car seat base for my mom’s car and had it professionally installed, and showed her how to latch install it if she took it out. Worth the peace of mind to me.

      My grandmother asked if we had to put the baby in a car seat if we weren’t driving on the freeway. Each generation has very different ideas of what safety standards are. You have to teach them what’s the current set of rules.

    • More? says

      Hmmm, I agree with the above poster. It sounds like there is something else irritating you about your mom – I think it’s understandable to be worried that she doesn’t necessarily have a full command of the current safety recommendations, but I would find it difficult to be angry at her for the two incidents you mentioned. Keep in mind that she may never have even used a car seat, and if she did use one, it would’ve been a totally different sort of contraption.

      With all things safety-related (especially car seat), I have always viewed it as my and my husband’s role to instruct the user on how we want it installed and used. For instance, we have a very competent, skilled nanny with a long work history, and we still installed the base in her car (and re-check it whenever she has to take it out). We also gave her a primer on how to properly position the 5 pt. harness. Even the educators at my son’s preschool don’t always put the straps on his carseat correctly during pick-up (i.e., don’t push the harness up near his chin).

      I’d be worried if your mom was trying to drive him WITHOUT a carseat. Otherwise, I think there is room for education – not anger here.

    • Anon says

      Seconding getting the car seat properly installed. Lots of police departments and fire departments do this as outreach. You can also check with car dealerships, but I’d want to see their federal license if I went to one (instead of some salesman thinking ‘Jim’s a dad, he could show them’).

      Having a third party tell Grandma how to do it is the way to go for car seats.

      The other thing is that you’re just going to have to start showing her articles of people who get their kids taken away from them by CPS when they’re doing things (like letting a 9 year old play in a park while mom works) that would have been considered fine or normal 35 years ago. She needs to understand that if something happens, the law is not on your or her side. She may be outraged (I am), but the point is that you have to stick within “local norms” because that’s how the laws are written.

    • Samantha says

      Agree with all the previous posters that you need to be the one to install it and demonstrate a few times how to put the baby in and out.
      If you have any other safety concerns, talk to her about them – dont assume she knows. I follow the same approach with our nanny. e.g. Dont leave the baby alone in the bathtub even for a minute. Dont leave the baby on a high bed or other place. If you need to go to the bathroom, put baby inside the crib, etc.
      Just be detailed, be patient, and spell it out. Dont assume she knows. She hasnt had a baby in 30 years, so her information is outdated and the onus of getting up to speed is not necessarily hers, it’s yours. Just do it in a nice way, since it’s very good of her to help out with the baby, and you want to encourage it.

    • MDMom says

      I know it’s late but in case you’re still checking- I second the poster who said hormone issues might be playing a part in terms of the magnitude of your reaction here. Nothing you can do about that but recognize it might be affecting how you feel.

  10. sfg says

    I just tried out primary.com for some infant clothes and wanted to share my review, as I know I have struggled to try to find reviews. For reference, my LO is about 26 inches long and weights about 13lbs. On Primary’s size charts, she’s on the higher end of the 3-6 month size, so I ordered 6-9 month for everything. I ordered a hoodie, pants, a long-sleeved onesie, and a short-sleeved onesie. Everything but the pants is way too big for her to wear right now, so I’d say those items tend to run a little large (as compared with Carter’s). The pants more or less fit her now (as compared with Carter’s 6 month pants that are still rather loose in the waist). The quality seems good – everything looks well-finished, and the fabric is soft.

    I do have a referral link that will get you and me $10 off, so if you would like it, please feel free to post an email address and I’d be happy to send to you.

    • layered bob says

      I’ll add my review in case it’s helpful. My daughter is currently 23.5 inches and 12 pounds. I have several items in the 3-6 month size. When they first came, I thought they looked too big for her, but I thought I’d wash them first and see. About a week later by the time I had gotten around to washing them, they fit perfectly – pants were big enough to go over her cloth diaper and the footed sleeper wasn’t too bulky. I don’t know if that’s because they shrunk slightly in the wash (I warm wash/warm dry everything) or because she grew slightly in the intervening week.

      Colors are nice, I like that there are no tags to cut out, quality of snaps/stitching etc. is excellent, but the fabric seems somewhat less soft than the Carters onesies we love.

    • EB0220 says

      I ordered some things recently for my preschooler and agree with the above, generally. Quality is good. The package came with some stickers for the kiddo, which is a nice touch. Carter’s 5T is tight on my daughter so I ordered size 6 or 6-7. Some things work, but some are huge. I am mostly frustrated with the many many out of stock color/size combinations. If I’m supposed to be able to order a bunch items, I need more than one or two colors. So I’ll try one more time, but definitely getting frustrated. Too bad, because I love the concept.

    • hoola hoopa says

      Thanks for calling my attention to this brand! I hadn’t heard of it. It’s always nice to have another source for colorful, unbranded basics (American Apparel does this well, but you have to choose between made in USA vs d*ck CEO…ugh – Lands End, Hanna Andersson, and Kohls often have good options, too).

      Two complaints, though: No knit pants for boys??? And the girls gym shorts are still too short in my book. Hanna Andersson can continue taking my money there.

      I’d also like to see something other than pink or blue in the baby stuff, but maybe there will be more over time.

    • Natasha says

      I really like primary, as well. My biggest complaint is that they seem to be lacking in boys clothes versus the girls offerings. They are also not consistently in stock over time for me to buy an additional item of a style that I found is really great for our needs. I guess that “I want to buy more from them but can’t” is a good endorsement.

      Quality is great for the cost and their customer service is the best I’ve encountered. They actually gave me a refund on an item I’d purchased without me having to contact them. I guess many people complained that they couldn’t get the boy’s polo over their kids head (from that particular run). I also couldn’t even force it but was so frazzled with a new baby and a toddler at the time that I wasn’t going to bother. It was so nice to get an email from their customer service and a refund like magic! They also once sent out the wrong color shirt and then shipped the right color free of charge and let me keep the mess up.

  11. labor stories! says

    how did you know you were in labor – as opposed to all of the other terrible aches/pains/contractions that take over your body in the last few weeks? what were you doing – did you have to finish a work project or put away the nursery or were you working out? …. asking for a friend ….

    • sfg says

      I was sleeping and woke up when I felt a snapping sensation between my legs (like a rubber band snap). I was like, that better not be what I think it is, but it was my water breaking… at 36w5d. Prior to that, I had not had regular contractions, just occasional cramping. I went to a prenatal pilates class a few hours before it happened.

    • NewMomAnon says

      My office was a disaster and I had this mental hangup that I couldn’t have the baby until I cleaned my office. I cleaned my office, and realized that night that I was in labor….DH blew it off, saying I probably had just “eaten badly” during the day and it was probably gas. It was not gas.

      I also had the infamous “bloody show” and started noticing that the “aches” were coming in waves, rather than just a steady, constant pain. I had probably been in early stage labor for a day or two by the time I realized that I was in labor. By the time I went to the hospital, there was absolutely no doubt that I was in labor. I labored at the hospital for 18 hours before baby was actually born though, so there wasn’t any emergency in my case.

      BUT everyone’s labor is very different, so listen to your own body!

    • Syd says

      I woke up in the am with cramps, and it did not register with me that they weren’t cramps but actually contractions (even though I was 40 weeks – denial I guess). I went to work, kept cramping and just didn’t feel good. My coworker commented that I didn’t look like I felt very well, and I decided to go home. On the drive home I realized the cramps had been coming and going and it suddenly dawned on me what was happening. Got home and went straight to the hospital because contractions were already just a few minutes apart. For me the feeling was just like strong menstrual cramps. Doctor had to break my water when I was 8 cm.

    • rakma says

      Google told me.

      I woke up to cramps around 4 am, noticed they were kinda regular, and so I searched ‘what do contractions feel like’ and figured it out from there. I was at 37 weeks, so I wasn’t really expecting them, I hadn’t gotten to those chapters in the pregnancy book.

    • EB0220 says

      The first time….when the OB pulled her hand out after a vaginal exam and told me I was 8 cm dilated. Before that I figured I was either dying or in labor (I was 3.5 weeks early as a first time mom). Re-reading this, I feel like an idiot…but I just didn’t know! I finished & defending my dissertation around 34 weeks. Had my baby shower at 36 weeks. I went into labor less than an hour after my sisters, mom and best friend got on planes to head back to their respective homes. It had to be related, somehow.

    • Anonymous says

      Similar to the posters above, I woke up and was sick to my stomach. Went back to bed, thought I just had cramps from my stomach issues. Then I noticed they were at regular intervals. I didn’t see the point of waking my husband up at 1 a.m., so I finished a brief I had to file the next day, work him up at 6 a.m., and we went to the hospital as the contractions we three minutes apart. Turns out they would never get closer together over the next 16 hours of labor, so I probably could have waited.

    • Anon says

      I just got home from work a Thursday night. I had taken the next day off because I was due to be induced on Saturday. Was planning to pack the hospital bag/clean house/cook freezer food/etc. on Friday. Took my toddler to the grocery store while experiencing “false labor”. Realized I was actually in labor when I had to stop in the middle of the aisle and breathe. For some reason I had it in my head that I just had to finish my list. The poor teenage clerk- I was checking out and trying to pretend like nothing was going on but here was this hugely pregnant lady that got red in the face and started sweating and panting every two minutes…

    • hoola hoopa says

      Woke up in the wee hours with regular contractions with the first two babes. It was easy to tell that it was different than the other stuff. With the second, I had a bout of minor contractions for about 12 hours a week or so before real labor.

      Third was an induction :P I had some very powerful Braxton hicks (spelling?) contractions with that baby, but they were irregular.

  12. Pest says

    What is a good gift to give to a baby’s daycare teachers when leaving the center? We are moving our daughter to a new daycare due to my husband chNging jobs and having a different commute. Is it bad to just give cash rather than Amex gift cards? I would hate to give gift cards to stores they don’t use and hate paying activation fees.

    • CPA Lady says

      I do the amazon gift cards where you can print them out with a picture of the kid on the front.

    • CHJ says

      I think cash is best. If you want to make it nicer, you can always stop at the bank and ask for crisp bills, and put them in a pretty thank you card.

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