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I’ve been on the hunt for a clarifying shampoo that will hit reset on my dull hair. I’m considering this well-reviewed one from Aveeno.
Their Apple Cider Vinegar Blend Shampoo clarifies and soothes your scalp while nourishing and adding shine to your hair. If you have oily hair or use a lot of products, this shampoo is especially made for you. It’s also cruelty-free and free from sulfates, parabens, and dyes.
This shampoo is $8.69 at Target.
Sales of note for 8.30.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 20% off
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lands’ End – 40% off sitewide; 50% off backpacks, 40% off kids’ apparel
- Loft – Summer sale, 30% off new arrivals; up to 50% off much more
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- Zappos – 28,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off everything
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 40% off everything
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off sitewide; extra 50% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 50-60% off; 50% off pants for the family
- Target – 20% off select clothing for all; up to 50% off home; up to 30% off select nursery furniture; up to 30% off kitchen & dining
Cb says
What’s your mum friend situation?
My mom and I were chatting about parent friends last night, and how she had good neighbour friends (all our immediate neighbours had kids within a 2 year window) but often felt left out as she was the only one working.
I really like the mums of my son’s two best friends. Definitely a birds of a feather situation, we’re older parents in our community, on the slight crunchy side of things, and recent transplants. We socialise and trade favours as families, but also meet up for coffee sans kids. And my Reddit bumper group is going strong 6 years in.
AIMS says
I have been using all the Aveeno shampoos and really like them.
Cb says
I really like the bodywash, sometimes I buy it as a treat instead of the eco bulk buy I normally get.
Anonymous says
I haven’t tried their shampoos, yet (I don’t think I knew they made shampoo?), but I also like the bodywash and their lotion — Aveeno Positively Radiant spf 30 has been my daily face moisturizer for years
anonM says
If anyone is looking to switch to shampoo/conditioner bars, I am really liking the HiBAR Soothe Solid Shampoo & Conditioner Set. The shampoo really lathers well, and the conditioner works.
FVNC says
Thanks for the recommendation! I have been wanting to try out shampoo and conditioner bars — will give these a try!
AwayEmily says
I use the conditioner version of this and it’s been great.
Anonymous says
On the splurge side, I love the Ouai Detox clarifying shampoo. I have been using it once a week for a year and still have half the bottle left.
Anon says
hotel recommendations near Dutch Wonderlands in PA?
Spirograph says
DoubleTree Resort. Nice outdoor space + indoor pool / splash park. It’s a short drive to Dutch Wonderland, maybe 10-15min
anon says
+1
Anon says
Lancaster Arts Hotel or Cork Factory! If you’re game for a beautiful Airbnb in the city near the Horse Inn (amazing restaurant) I can send a link!
Anon says
hotel recs near Dutch Wonderland in PA or a suggestion of another area nearby of where to stay.
Anon says
Has anyone here been to Australia with kids? I’m in the early stages of planning a trip for next year.
Anon says
how do you help a kid build resilience? i have a 5 year old with some perfectionist tendencies and doesn’t like an activity if it is hard for her. she does seem to get the concept of practicing and likes to practice things that come at least a little bit naturally to her, but things that don’t, forget it.
Anon says
I think a lot of it is unfortunately genetics. I’m the same way and so is my kid. I’m not saying you shouldn’t work on building resilience, but know that this is not your fault.
Spirograph says
+1, this was me, and this is my daughter. I think there’s also a component of things that come a little bit naturally are more fun and interesting, so of course that’s where you’d rather spend your time! If you try something and it’s hard and a slog… unless you have a true need or desire to learn it, why keep punishing yourself?
If you’re talking about something where it’s not optional, I think the best approach is to have really low expectations. Not in terms of achievement, but in terms of how long you’re going to dedicate at any given time. Do 5 min, then a break/small reward, but commit to doing it once or twice *every* day. Sticker charts can really help so there’s a visual representation of how far you’ve come.
Anonymous says
+2. I have an older kid who quits literally everything once she gets to the point where she actually has to work at it, including things where she has tons of natural ability. We have tried everything, from praising hard work to modeling resilience and a “growth mindset” to putting her in challenging activities on purpose to kiddie CBT workbooks to sticker chart bribery, and nothing seems to help. She just doesn’t like discomfort or challenge of any kind. She seems to believe that if you are talented and deserving then everything comes naturally, and that if you have to try or practice it means you are dumb or not talented. It’s maddening, and sometimes I wonder how she is going to find a career that is not work.
Anon says
I was exactly like this in high school (because I could get good grades in hard classes with minimal effort) but college was a rude awakening for me. She’ll be ok.
Anon says
I was the same. Possibly an odd take – but I would recommend screening for ADD. For me, this was a sneaky and totally easy to miss symptom of my inattentive ADD. I was bright enough and athletic enough to get by, so I was never screened as a kid, but struggled desperately with sticking to something that didn’t come naturally. I now have a kid with ADHD, and it wasn’t until we started screening for her that I recognized some of what you’ve described was actually a sneaky symptom of my ADD.
anon says
+1. I have a young elementary aged girl diagnosed with ADHD, and various people from various environments had made comments like “she’s very smart or good at X, but she gets frustrated and gives up so quickly and easily.” Obviously there were many other signs and factors, but before the testing and diagnosis process, I didn’t know those are common signs.
anon says
+1
anon says
Will cross post to the main site, but work question. The HR team at a tier-2 competitor reached out to me about taking a department lead position. So right now imagine I’m on a team for design at Hermes, and this new role is head of design at Tory Burch. I can’t/won’t ever get to head of design at Hermes without having been head of design elsewhere, so I always knew I’d need to go to a slightly less prestigious company to make the next move up in seniority. I’m in my 40’s, my kids are 10 and 12 and this new role will involve managing a team of 15, more travel, and more pressure. I’ve been here for 2 years and it was a big step up in terms of pay/seniority from my last role and I’ve learned a ton. We have a really good support system in place at home, my husband is supportive if it’s a move I want but I’m ambivalent. In my world jobs like this aren’t ‘posted’ (well, they are, but only for HR reasons), it’s more of a tap on the shoulder situation. These roles also don’t come up often and if I don’t take it I may be stuck for a good 3-5 years. Fwiw, Hermes would be totally fine with leaving (they get that it’s a high pressure company and many pepole move on after a few years) and I’d be in line for a higher level position once someone else ‘tests me out’ first BUT I will not get to that next step here.
What would you do? I plan to at least interview but I don’t want to go too far in the process if I won’t ultimately want to take it.
Anonymous says
Take it
anon OP says
Fair. I think I’d regret it if I didn’t at least try for it (and it’d be a huge step up!) but I’m not sure I have it in me to do all the people management stuff of a big team.
Anonymous says
In the big picture, do you want to move up in your career or just stay at your current level? It seems as if people management is inevitable if you want to move up.
Anonymous says
Try for it – maybe there’s a reason to pass beyond work life, but you’ll learn a lot in the interview process either way to help make a more fulsome decision
TheElms says
If you aspire to making the move up at some point in the future, I would say take it.
Anonymous says
I can’t find any reason in your post that would keep you from jumping on this opportunity. I kept waiting for you to write something about work/life balance, or feeling like it was too soon to leave your current job, or salary, or some other obstacle, and you never did. At the same time, you sound really reluctant. What is holding you back from wanting to do this?
Anonymous says
She mentions more travel and more pressure. I’d turn down any job that had either of those things for where I am right now.
Anonymous says
The only thing that jumps out at me as a potential red flag is that they are hiring an outsider to be in a management position. There may be good reasons for that and you don’t need to respond here but if that’s above board I’m tempted to say go for it. Also not to nit pick your analogy too much but moving to Tory Burch wouldn’t be seen as “oh she couldn’t hack it at Hermes” right?
Anon says
Is this an issue everywhere or is it just my area? All the swim lessons over the summer are on weekdays and in the early morning so it interferes with doing even a half day camp. I feel super guilty about the fact that my 6 year old still hasn’t done swim lessons, but I’m not sure how to make this work. We have local grandparents so we don’t need full day childcare, but I don’t really want to stick my parents with a kid who has a swim lesson from 9-9:20 and is their responsibility for the rest of the time. I think it would be boring for her too, especially since I imagine we’d likely have to do multiple weeks of swim lessons to see any real benefit? The waiting lists for private lessons are crazy; longer than daycare waitlists.
Lily says
Do you have a goldfish swim school or similar chain near you? They have lots of weekend classes.
Anon says
Nope, nothing like Goldfish. The summer lessons here are mostly through parks & rec and Ys. I’ve found a few independent instructors but they seem to mostly focus on ISR and I don’t even know if they take kids my daughter’s age.
Mary Moo Cow says
Huh. My local franchises like Goldfish and Aqua Tots have swim lessons in the weekdays AM and evening, but nothing between 12 and 5 or on the weekends. My YMCA, however, has swim lessons on the weekends and in the evenings.
From what I’ve observed in my kids, it’s not multiple weeks, but total exposure. They learned more in one week of daily swim lessons than they did in one month of once a week lessons, and they are better swimmers after going to the pool for an hour nearly every day in one summer than they were after 3 months of weekly half hour lessons.
Anonymous says
We solved this by sending our kid to the YMCA day camp where daily swim lessons were included. Yes multiple weeks are required, possibly for multiple years.
Anon says
Hmm that’s interesting. We specifically didn’t sign her up for the local parks & rec camp this summer because they advertised daily swimming and I thought it wouldn’t be safe because she doesn’t know how to swim. Maybe it includes lessons, and I didn’t realize that.
Anonymous says
You have to ask. Some places daily swimming means lessons, and some places it means that kids take a swim test and those who can swim go in the deep end and those who can’t splash around in the shallow end.
anon says
Ours requires a life jacket if you don’t pass the swim test.
AwayEmily says
If it’s any consolation, between covid and life, we didn’t start my kid on swim lessons until she was 7. After a lot of failed attempts to register for private lessons at the Y (they were super full and/or nonresponsive), we got her into private lessons at a local gym, at 5:30pm on Fridays. Between being older and the one-on-one lessons, she has picked it up VERY quickly. In an ideal world I would have started her earlier but this has worked out pretty well, actually. So, maybe just put yourself on a bunch of waitlists and hope something comes up in an evening slot in the next six months?
Anon says
Thanks, this makes me feel better. I think I learned how to swim at age 7 or so, and while I was never on a competitive swim team or anything, I feel like I turned out fine? I’m a strong swimmer as an adult (endurance-wise) and I enjoy swimming. But it seems like everyone starts so young these days!
Anonymous says
IME kids don’t really become competent swimmers until they are a little older and tall enough to stand up on the bottom of the pool. The 4- and 5-year-olds I see who can “swim” are really not water-safe by any stretch of the imagination. So I agree there isn’t any harm in waiting until age 6 or 7, and they’ll quickly end up in the same place as a kid who started at 3 or 4.
Anone says
I really disagree with this. do you live in the south? Those of us with backyard pools that you use for 6+ months and private lessons have kids on rec swim team by age 5 here.
Anon says
Yeah, even in the northeast there’s lots of kids on the rec swim team at 5 or 6 (including mine)
They even added a 6&under age group.
Anon says
I’m not the person who made that comment and I’m sure there are some 5 year olds who can swim well, but I definitely agree with the point that someone.who doesn’t start until 7 will catch up fast and it will take them much less time to get to the same level than it would if they’d started in preschool. That’s true in a wide variety of activities, not just swimming. Older kids have so much more manual dexterity, not to mention a better attention span and better ability to listen and follow directions. Of course things are going to come faster to them.
anon says
Sincerely disagree with this.
anon says
I wonder how many of us started swimming lessons before age 6 or 7, you know? I will say that both of my kids started lessons fairly young but it was hard to “see” much progress until something finally clicked when they were 5 or 6.
An.On. says
That sounds weird to me. We are currently in YMCA lessons and they have a bunch of Saturday morning classes for a variety of experience levels, and our local outdoor city pool has group lessons during the weekdays but they all start at 5 or 5:30 pm. I’d keep looking for more options.
Anonymous says
Your 6 year old should learn how to swim before the end of the summer. IME based on what you said you should either:
1) Carve out one week and do a swim intensive. She’ll be swimming by the end of it.
2) send her to a summer camp with swim lessons
3) hire a private swim coach to teach her on the weekends. Almost any lifeguard will do (that’s who teaches the group lessons!). Ask around vs getting on some private coach’s list.
4) you or your partner (if available) teach her yourself on weekends. It’s a pain but it’s do-able. It’s how all my siblings and I learned. She won’t be an olympic swimmer but she won’t drown. Ask a lifeguard if you want some pointers.
AwayEmily says
Sure but why does it have to be this summer? Couldn’t it wait til fall? Or are you suggesting summer just because there are outdoor pools available as well as indoor ones so it’ll be easier? FWIW we find it a lot easier to fit in lessons during the school year since our schedule is more regular.
Anon says
I think it would start to be difficult socially to be a non-swimmer at her age.
Anon says
Maybe this depends where you live? I’m in the Midwest and almost no one here has a backyard pool. We’ve never been invited to any kind of party or social gathering at a pool. I can definitely see how it would be a bigger issue if you live in CA or FL or someplace where many upper middle class people have pools.
AwayEmily says
Same. I’m in the Northeast, in a city. We do not know anyone with a pool at their house or a lake/beach house and none of my kids have ever been to a pool party. I commented earlier that my 7yo is just now learning to swim and it has not been an issue socially at all.
Anonymous says
I posted the comment- i meant that she could easily be swimming this summer with a bit of a focused effort. We are in the Boston suburbs. I have a 6 year old 1st grader and she really mastered swimming last summer but could “swim across the shallow end and not drown” for at least a year before that. She has 1-2 friends that are not strong swimmers and it’s not really that it’s “awkward socially” — we do have friends with pools, a neighborhood pool, get invited to country clubs with pools, have a pool at the gym etc. The couple of girls that don’t swim well yet hang out and play in the shallow end because they can touch. It would be a pain if she couldn’t swim when she’s invited to friends’ houses with pools bc I would have to stay- I wouldn’t want to leave my non-swimmer at a swimming playdate.
Anon says
We would definitely do a swim intensive week if we could, but as far as I can tell no such thing exists in my area. As I said above there are some parks & rec camps with daily swim time, which I assumed was free swim, but maybe it’s actually lessons? I should have clarified, but it’s too late for that. The camps are full now. My husband has been teaching her a little bit, and it’s been going better than I thought it would, but she is not close to swimming independently. We do swim pretty much every day in the summer.
Anonymous says
If you are swimming pretty much every day in the summer your kiddo needs to learn. Where are you doing this swimming? Talk to the lifeguard about lessons.
Stop by your local Y or town pool or whenever and talk to the teenage lifeguards about a private swim lesson or two. Or post on Facebook to see if any of the kids on the high school swim team would do it.
In my area (Boston-ish) I have found willing lifeguards for one-off swim lessons as well as life guarding a private birthday party fairly easily.
In the future definitely ask camps about swim. The camps my kids go/have gone to always have lessons. In some camps it’s two swim blocks, one lesson and one free swim. Others are lessons only. I know there are camps where you get a swim test and then that’s where you hang out but there are absolutely other ones!
Anonymous says
Those are all fun strategies but FYI are almost impossible to implement in many areas. Where I live (PNW) public indoor pools have limited hours and outdoor pools both won’t open till mid June and are too insanely crowded to teach a kid yourself (if you know how… I’m a long time swim team kid and don’t know how). We belong to a private pool at our gym but it requires life jackets if you can’t pass the swim test, and there are few other private pool options. Swim lessons through the parks dept, ymca, and jcc fill up within 60 seconds of opening (luckily my kids got in for this month but we did not get in for next month) . Private swim lesson companies are few and far between and have long wait lists. Pools are seriously struggling to hire lifeguards and anyone who is remotely interested in teaching has a wait list ten miles long PLUS the only way to do that is to rent a pool on swimply as no other pools allow private lessons and there is no lake swimming in this area. My now 8 year old was not comfortable in the water in the fall bc we had almost no access the last few years and has FINALLY made a lot of progress in lessons (we’ve had them about half the time this year due to access issues). Im trying to follow your advice and just get him in the pool all summer but … how??? The one camp that has swimming requires life jackets and also allows kids to opt out of swimming. At this rate we are planning our one previous vacation week around pool access. We know no one who has a pool fyi and swimming socially is really not a thing here. Sigh .
Anonymous says
One PRECIOUS vacation week
Anonymous says
It sounds like less of an issue for you then- if you have no access to pools, kiddo doesn’t have an urgent need to learn how.
But…if you really want to get it done and there are all the restrictions you list above, how about getting a night at a hotel with a pool (indoor or outdoor) in your general area for like $150/nt and just teaching him there one weekend? It doesn’t have to be fancy. Even the holiday inn express has an indoor pool.
I am not a swimmer, heck, I can barely pass a swim test myself, but I can and have taught kids to swim. You can watch a youtube video on it. I’ve taught my kids to bike and ski and sail and taught one of them to swim well enough to pass a swim test. They are mediocre at most of those things but good enough to check the box (except skiing. My 9 year old is crazy good, much better than me!). If your kiddo has a major fear of water or some other issue than I’d defer to a professional. But a run of the mill 6-8 year old can practice blowing bubbles, treading water, working their way down from lots of float to no float on the bubble, using fins, etc. if you don’t own a bubble backpack float or fins, you can get them for less than the cost of a private swim lesson.
Anon says
I don’t think there are many 6 year olds who could learn to swim in one weekend. It takes repeated practice for lots of kids.
Anonymous says
What about ponds/lakes/the ocean (if you are coastal)? I like the idea of hotel pools too. I promise you kids learned to swim before swim classes were a Thing People Did.
Anonymous says
Well, a lot of people didn’t learn (I just read a fascinating article about the history of swimming). Where we live in the PNW, you can’t swim in the ocean because it is FREEZING with dangerous conditions, and any lakes or rivers won’t be warm enough for safe swimming till mid summer. It’s definitely still a priority for me that our kids learn to swim and be comfortable in the water, but I’m getting the picture that many areas of the country do a lot more swimming than we do around here 🤣
Anon says
+1 to a lot of people actually don’t learn. Apparently half of American adults cannot swim well enough to pass basic safety tests. I went to a college that had a swim test and a surprising (to me) number of people didn’t pass it at freshman orientation and had to take swimming classes through the college.
Anon2 says
Do you have a town Facebook group/parents group? Maybe ask around for a private instructor? Many times college students home from the summer — or even high school students — will offer lessons in their own home pools. I even know of some adults who do this. Then you can try to work out an afternoon or weekend time.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Agree on camps with swim lessons. My older kid got so much better as a swimmer the summer between K and 1st grade when he was swimming every day at camp, despite swim classes on and off, mostly on, since age 3.5. He’s 7 now and an excellent swimmer. I would say 6-7 is when kids really pick it up quickly. But of course my 4.5 year old is doing lessons now too, because we do plan to go to the pool and beach this swimmer and I want him to be comfortable (though not solo!)
Anon says
At our local community center, they only offer swim classes on Saturdays in the winter. During the warmer months they are only offered during the week. I assume to keep the swimming area open on the weekends when it’s nice weather. It might be worth checking cross checking their Fall/Winter schedules to see if more options open up later in the year.
Work travel and young kids says
Do you think that not attending an in-person work event because your spouse already has work travel booked at that time reflects badly on you, or is the reality of a two-working parent household? Assume that the trip is a nice-to-have (offsite strategy/boondoggle) not a requirement.
We have no local family (or family that would be capable of watching them if they travelled in – grandparents are too old to be caregivers for a 4 month old and a 2 year old).
AwayEmily says
I think it probably depends on your workplace. Mine is very supportive of family demands — many people in my department have young kids, and no one has a stay-at-home partner, so it’s very common for someone to bow out of something for childcare reasons. But I imagine there are some workplaces where it’s not as normalized. Do you have a sense of how yours is?
Anon says
Yeah, I think this is pretty workplace dependent. My husband is a university professor and has definitely turned down “nice to have” work trips for this and other family-related reasons, but he doesn’t have a boss in the traditional sense and there are so many dual academic couples that I think a lot of people are used to juggling the demands of two careers with lots of travel.
On the other hand, I feel like I’m still being penalized (six years later!) for turning down an optional work trip when I was in my third trimester (not medically barred from flying, but not personally comfortable with it because of the risk of delivering and being stuck there). So YMMV.
Anon says
I’m TTC and supposed to travel to the middle of nowhere next year in a state that has banned abortion. Nope, nope, nope.
Spirograph says
mmmm it’s both reality and probably will at least have a short term negative impact. Is your offsite also travel-required? I’m not understanding why you don’t have childcare during the normal workday to do a local, in-person event. Even if you need to skip the dinner or whatever afterward, I’d try really hard to be there for the portion during business hours.
Anon says
I think she’s saying travel is required for her work thing.
Spirograph says
Yes, there’s travel and then there’s travel, though. Like, I’m in DC and I could do a day trip to NYC or Philly on Amtrak if I needed to. Even a short flight like Atlanta I would try to figure out extended day coverage. If there was no way to avoid a hotel stay (eg, cross-country flight), that’s a different story.
Anonymous says
perhaps the work event is an evening event…
Work travel and young kids says
It’s a multi-day offsite in another country that requires a 2 hour flight and a 1.5 hour drive to get to the venue.
Spirograph says
In that case, you’re totally justified in skipping it. (And I hope you work somewhere & with people who won’t hold it against you.)
Anon says
Depends on the workplace. At my current workplace, not attending a thing occasionally would not be an issue unless it turned into an all the time thing.
At my old workplace, I feel like I would have been expected to attend if it was an event I had notice of. For example, a firm dinner that I knew about a month out, I would have been expected to find a sitter. If someone asked me to go to drinks the next day, I don’t think there would have been an expectation that I was available or could go.
Spirograph says
I feel like I’d be expected to attend given advanced notice, too. DH and I actually have a dual work travel week coming up, but fortunately my kids are older and my mom is happy to come stay with them. They’re already booked for camp, so she just needs to get them to & from and make sure they get meals. I do not think she would be as enthused (or even willing) if they were 2 and 4 months. Those ages are a tough sell.
anon says
There’s just some reality here. I don’t think I would go either, with kids that age. I’m the parent usually at home when DH travels for work, which is sporadic enough that the kids are always out of sorts when he goes. Sounds like they aren’t used to you both being gone, so having someone else deal with it 24/7 for a whole trip IS a big ask, and I’d save it for when I really need the coverage. I have local family and tbh, other than my mom who babysits weekly, having anyone else even come visit is a huge PIA when DH is gone because the kids are just so wound if I deviate from the routine at all those weeks. Solidarity, it is very hard to have two demanding careers.
GCA says
Just a clarification question: Is the strategy offsite referring to spouse’s work travel or your in-person work event? I’m not sure it matters either way, honestly – she whose org plans first, gets first pick. (My company – non-US – just tried to schedule an offsite retreat for the week of the Fourth of July, which, um, no.) That’s just the reality of two working parents with no local family.
How important is it to *you* that you attend? Boondoggle suggests it can’t be all that essential.
Work travel and young kids says
My husband has work travel, already on the calendar.
I was invited to a work off-site that would require travel and 2 nights away from home (really 3, if you count that I wouldn’t be home until after bedtime on the 3rd night). I’m full-time remote so any work function for me involves travel (no local office).
GCA says
Oh, you’re me circa 4 years ago when I had a 4mo and a 4yo! I’m full-time remote and most of my colleagues are in another country.
With kids that young, I would not have gone if DH had travel already booked (plus I was nursing and pumping when I had an infant – it would’ve been really annoying to hop in and out of sessions, outings or dinners to pump). If there are segments where you can join by Zoom, great, but hybrid meetings are really rough if you’re the only one dialing in remotely.
Anon says
I think, unfortunately, there will be some sort of cost associated with not attending the work event. That being said it’s so person/company/event dependent it’s impossible for internet strangers to say what it is. And it sounds fairly impossible to accommodate the event, so it also is just the reality of the situation.
Anonymous says
Could anyone offer advice on how to navigate a family member’s mental health crisis? BIL is experiencing debilitating anxiety. Heart palpitations, cannot make basic life decisions, paralyzed at work, etc. Broader family was in the dark about the severity/ symptom escalation until recently. He currently has a therapist and a telehealth dr who has apparently been prescribing lots of meds (sleeping pills, anxiety, depression) without SIL’s knowledge. We know we need to change his care, at the very least. My sense is that he should probably also take a medical leave of absence from his job and maybe even look into some kind of in-patient care. Does this exist for severe anxiety? And does anyone have advice on how to figure out a new care team?
Anon says
it does exist for anxiety, or an all day outpatient program. where are you located?
OP says
northern VA
Anon says
I would start with a visit to his PCP or urgent care to get the meds investigated. Your area may also have some kind of community rapid response services available – check your county webpage. Good luck. This is so hard.
Anon says
You can definitely take FMLA for anxiety. I did, during a particularly bad stretch in early 2021 when my anxiety was causing severe insomnia. At least at my employer, you give the doctor’s note directly to HR so (theoretically at least) your boss and upper management never see it. They just know you’re taking time off for a medical issue.
anon says
A few thoughts (not legal advice). While of course, the paramount concern is BIL’s mental health and safety, here are some thoughts on preempting some secondary concerns. You having some emotional distance can offer some rational thoughts/guidance. Sometimes people’s work performance is impaired but work claims to not know what is going on. You may want to talk to an attorney about BIL disclosing that there is a mental health concern and requesting some accommodation. It will usually make employers slow down if they are considering termination because they should see a bunch of ADA compliance red flags. Also, check what bills are BIL’s responsibility because SIL doesn’t need any debt/mortgage issues on top of this. (And, if he’s union, talk to them of course).
Anonymous says
No advice to offer but commiseration. One of my younger sisters is bipolar and has been stable for years-diagnosed at 24, last major problem was in her late 20s. She’s 36 now…and she just had a major break after a very scary, very triggering event.