I like these washable stretch velvet pants by NYDJ. I like that the top of the pants is a jeans type style but that they can be dressed up since they are black and velvet. For comfort, I love that they are stretch, since velvet and even corduroy can be stiff without a stretch element. I’ve had good luck with NYDJ for comfort and fit. These are nice for the holiday season and through the winter for warmth. They are $129 at Nordstrom and available in sizes 4–16. Ami Stretch Velvet Skinny Pants
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Gift Help says
Gift help please! My nephew turns 2 in December and I need Christmas and bday gifts for him. His parents are fairly minimalist and the kid just doesn’t have a lot of toys. On the one hand, I want to respect my sister and BIL’s approach to having fewer things, but also he’s my nephew! and I want to get him something fun! He loves playing with my daughter’s toys whenever he comes over so I know he would enjoy most anything that I get him, though his parents not so much.
Aside from books, any gift ideas? Parents prefer no batteries/lights/noise-making things. He has blocks and magnatiles. They live in a walk up apartment so a bike or something for the outside isn’t my first choice. TIA!
Clementine says
Brio train set? Wooden and classy, but also: TRAINS!
Metal matchbox cars and a carrying case for them? Firefighter costume rain jacket?
TBH though, the best gift we got from our fun aunt and uncle was a Strider Balance Bike.
Lily says
Live in a similar set up and I would have been fine with brio or matchbox cars with case. You could also get some of the water wows and Play-Doh. Reusable but eventually get gross. And stickers.
Katy says
YES to all these suggestions. My 2 year old loves his trains and hot wheels. His 8 year old cousin will still play with brio. He plays with these FAR longer then any of the plastic / noise making toys.
An alternate to a balance bike is a little scooter. We got one for our kiddo’s second bday and he took to it right away. The one we got is aimed at pretty little kids and has two wheels in the front. It collapses so easy to stash in a closet. I would suggest that he needs a helmet if he doesn’t have one already.
Anonymous says
The Green Toys car carrier is great.
Anonymous says
Fake food. We have a felt sandwich making kit and a felt pizza making kit, both have been hits for years.
Anonymous says
Bussa play tunnel from Ikea (play tunnels collapse easily and quickly for storage until play tents which can be trickier to take apart.
Lillabo vehicles from Ikea
Personalized book from Wonderbly or Penwizard
Superhero mask/costume set – Melissa and Doug make ones that are just fun colors not specific characters.
The Lego Duplo Dump Truck + Excavtor set has been a hit every time i’ve given it – including with my ultra minimalist in-laws
My nephew is also a December baby so generally I do a cute outfit + toy for each occasion.
And I’m a minimalist. I get so much anxiety when my mom shows up with two ikea bags filled with toys but the gifts my sister gives are usually more thoughtful and have been well played with. It makes me so happy to open presents from her knowing that she’s tried to respect my parenting style and that it won’t be a nightmare trying to figure out where to store some huge plastic thing that my kid will mostly ignore.
Pogo says
+1 to play tunnels! My 2yo loves his, and I love that it folds flat and you can hide it away when not in use.
Louisa says
I thought we would get rid of our play tunnel when my son turned 4. But then we got a cat… Who is the very entertaining in it. and now his seven-year-old and all his second grade friends end up playing with it.
Louisa says
Plus it’s been an integral part of a lot of living room forts.
OP says
Thanks! They aren’t minimalists in life… like at all. They just took on this weird [for them] persona/standard that applies only to their son. There are some much bigger things and relationship dynamics that became extremely obvious when nephew was born. It’s really hard to watch as the sister looking in. My sister has 100% changed since marriage and having a kid and it’s just… hard. Still, I try to be respectful so not to make it harder on my sister or nephew.
Anonymous says
I would consider myself a minimalist in that I hate picking up 100 pieces of a toy set at bedtime every night. The food sets drive me nuts because of how many pieces each one contains. I would go with Brio trains or Bruder trucks, personally.
GCA says
Are you local to his family? What about a gift membership to the zoo/ aquarium/ science museum? Age 2 is when they start appreciating these outings more but are still too little to hang the entire day, so being able to pop in and out with a membership would be ideal. Pair the membership certificate with a little tangible something (aquarium membership + ‘under the sea’ water wow, science museum membership + science book, etc), call it a combined Xmas/ birthday gift, and make a date to all go on a museum trip together.
Anonymous says
I hate receiving toy gifts and would love this present.
Ashley says
I would check out Melissa and Doug toys. They have lots of options that don’t have lights/batteries. My 2yo boy would love the Lock & Latch Board, Primary Lacing Beads, Wooden Latches Board, Jumbo Wooden Stacking Train .
Anonymous says
My almost 2-year-old is into playing with animals these days. I’m going to suggest some quality plastic (Schlein?) toys to his relatives for his birthday. We also get a lot of enjoyment from a Melissa and Doug food set.
Cb says
My son has these IKEA wooden (and plastic) cars which he loves. They are interchangeable and they work quite well for outdoor racing.
octagon says
If he already has magnatiles, what about some expander sets? There are some long/big/curved pieces that don’t come with the sets but have been great for more advanced building like tunnels and bridges. Just make sure you know what brand they have because they are not all perfectly compatible with each other.
Anon says
What about an experience gift? 2 is prime time to really start enjoying things like the zoo, aquarium, kids museum, etc. If he doesn’t have a lot of toys, it’s probably a conscious decision on the part of the parents and I would try to respect that.
Anon says
When my son was 2, he loved bigger trucks/vehicles that he could push around the house.
shortperson says
my 2 yo’s favorite is a wooden busy board from etsy. it appeals to montessori/wooden toy/minimalist ppl. her teachers told me they spent 15 minutes playing with it when she brought it for show and tell.
IHeartBacon says
A tea party set.
Cb says
Parenthood, guys…I took my son to the zoo this morning and the thing he was most excited about? Pandas – nope, koalas – nope, hippos – nope. The coin operated fire truck at the entrance. I didn’t have coins so he didn’t even get to move, just sat on it. I’d be bitter if we didn’t have membership / weren’t avoiding my husband who is swanning about like a Victorian invalid because he has a sinus infection.
Pogo says
That would 100% be my kid.
Today the parenting goal I achieved was tracking down what “reindeer song” was. I asked what kiddo wanted in the car last night and he requested it, but I thought surely that can’t be Rudolph. Then I thought, maybe Frozen has a reindeer song… and it does!! They must listen to Spotify at daycare because he knows all the hits (Frozen and Baby Shark to be exact).
Anonymous says
Swanning about like a Victorian invalid is the best description of my DH’s man cold as well. It is the description I didn’t know I needed but it is 💯 on point.
Anonymous says
I’ve learned the hard way to give in to my son’s demands early or he spends the entire time at the museum asking when we are going to visit the special penny machine. He loves a flattened penny!
shortperson says
i always say yes to flattened pennies. i am fine spending up to 51 cents on a souvenir and my kid has a cute collection of places she’s been
Anonymous says
Ha, sounds about right! I used to volunteer at a zoo, and invariably, the kids would ignore the leopard or panda, and squeal with glee over a chipmunk.
aelle says
Yep. We recently went to the natural history museum and all my kid wanted to do was ride the elevator.
Buble says
Sooo many places we have taken our kids, and rather than see the actual attraction, they just want to play on whatever molded plastic kiddie “playground” they have set up in the corner — this happened at Disneyland, the zoo, the Shedd Aquarium. At some point, I’ll learn my lesson and just save my $$ and take them to the free neighborhood park around the corner.
lsw says
Is it appropriate to talk to the pediatrician about behavior stuff? I’m trying to think who would be best to consult for advice. I don’t want to set up an appointment just to talk about this, because it’s not concerning, it’s more – I am stymied by it. We have a triage/nurse’s line, but that seems more for “is this rash bad enough to come in?” type of questions. Any ideas other than writing to Care and Feeding and hope they take my question?
So Anon says
Absolutely! I use my pediatrician for this stuff all the time. Is there a way that you can send your ped an email or message through a portal? I generally use that as a first step to ask about behavioral type things or questions where I don’t need a full appointment (I asked about deodorant this summer for my 8 year old son). I have a great relationship with my pediatrician and she has taken care of my kids for six years, so I trust her as a doc, expert and a parent.
Anon says
I do. If it’s something really long term, I ask at the next appointment. Otherwise I send her an email. There’s a way to mark emails as non-urgent so I don’t feel like I’m taking resources away from sick kids needing immediate care the same way I would be if I called the triage line.
lsw says
Thanks, both of you! I just checked and we do have the message feature on our portal. I’ll try it! Thanks!
RR says
Absolutely yes.
Anonymous says
Our health care system allows me to self-schedule a phone appointment for this kind of thing. I have also sent a short email asking whether a phone appointment would be appropriate.
lsw says
It turns out they have a behavioral specialist and they gave me her phone number! Thanks, hive. I feel like this should have been obvious but I think it’s the holdover from my childhood of “you don’t call the doctor unless you’re dying of consumption”
anon says
Have you ever had your child’s writing or art made into jewelry? I have seen many vendors on etsy and am a bit overwhelmed…could be cute or cheesey? Thinking of having a grandma gift made and maybe even something for myself.
rosie says
Kind of similar, I ordered trivets from shutterfly that have photos I took of kid art (it’s preschool, not sure it would be great as jewelry) as grandparent gifts. Hoping they come out well.
Anonymous says
For those of you who share daycare pick up/drop off with someone else (i.e I do mornings, husband does evenings) what bag do you use to bring bottles etc.? Do you store a bag/cooler at day care? Trying to figure out how to coordinate this. Thanks!
Anon says
Our daycare has cubbies, and we just left the carrying bag in the cubby.
Anon says
+1 to leaving the bag in the cubby.
Anonymous says
I brought milk in a plastic grocery bag because it was a 10 minute walk so didn’t need cooling. Basically any bag will work. The bigger issue is communicating what needs to be brought home.
Pogo says
We send an LL Bean Boat n Tote bag daily with everything he needs. It contains the extra set of emergency clothes, an additional layer (long sleeves in summer, sweater in winter), lunch, and when I was pumping, bottles of b-milk. Everything goes back and forth every day, when they’re younger the extra clothes get replenished much more often, so it makes sense.
avocado says
Last night I woke up with my sixth chest cold in the past five months. (I have also had two secondary bacterial infections in that time.) I have no idea where I’m catching all these bugs. I don’t have a kid in day care any more, and no one else in the family is ever sick. The doctor’s very helpful theory is allergies, which makes no sense because I’ve already been tested and have none. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I haven’t been able to work out since all of this started, it is seriously limiting my other hobby of singing in a choir, and now we have to cancel our plans to host Thanksgiving to avoid passing it on to elderly relatives. And the real cold and flu season hasn’t even begun yet. Ugh.
Anon says
If it helps, I do think this is a bad winter (fall?) for illness. I do have a kid in daycare but have basically had one long continuous cold since September, that recently turned into a really nasty sinus infection. In previous years, I haven’t been this sick or at least it’s started much later. Hopefully this is abnormal and next year will be better?
Mrs. Jones says
For years I got sick multiple times each fall (the worst was 2 sinus infections and 2 strep throats in 2 months). On my doctor’s rec, I started taking zyrtec each night and flonase each morning. I also take Host Defense My Community extract each day and Emergen-C most days during fall. Since then, I haven’t gotten sick in the fall (knock on wood).
GCA says
Ugh, sorry! This is kind of gruesome to contemplate (especially now right before holiday season), but is there any chance your house might have mold? I’ve heard of people finding mold in their attic because the insulation was done incorrectly, for instance. Hope you feel better soon!
avocado says
Eeeek! I will have to check the attic. I doubt that’s it, because I have had several years like this in the past while living in other places. I think I just have a weak immune system.
Anononon says
Have you needed antibiotics for these infections? I had a series of upper respiratory infections (7 in 8 months) that each required antibiotics. After ruling out an antibiotic resistant infection, my general practitioner tested my immune system’s antibody levels. They were super low. Which led to more tests to rule out another cause (autoimmune diseases, blood disorders) and led to diagnosing me as, essentially, immune compromised. Worth raising to your GP if you’ve looked for environmental factors like allergies, mold, dust, etc.
Coach Laura says
Avocado – That was me earlier this year and it was Lymphoma. Iit’s unlikely but I had four colds/viruses in four months. So I’d say to have it checked out, especially with having those bacterial infections. Hopefully your doctor has already done a CBC (complete blood count) and ruled out scary things like blood cancers.
avocado says
Wow, I hope everything is going okay for you now. Thank you for the warning. Dr. has not suggested any testing beyond repeating the allergy tests, so I will ask.
Blow dryer? says
Does anyone have a blow dryer that they love?
I feel like I’m in a constant battle to try to both save time and look for presentable. My current issue is my hair – it’s thick and takes forever to dry and has to be flat ironed to lay even reasonably well. When I have a salon blowout it lasts seriously a week, though, so I’m thinking learning to do that at home might be worthwhile.
Anon says
I have the same hair and use a Barbar dryer. Love it! Got it on amazon 2 years ago and it’s the best one I’ve owned. I still do a quick flat iron daily but the dryer is really helpful in speeding things up.
Anon Mama says
You need a paddle dryer. I have the same hair as you, and it was life-changing for me. I have those one: https://www.ulta.com/one-step-paddle-dryer?productId=xlsImpprod13261053
FP says
I have very thick, coarse hair (Caucasian) and the best money I spent on myself this past year was a Dyson hairdryer. It cut my blowdry time in half – 30-40 minutes to around 15-20. I bought mine refurbished from the official Dyson store on eBay. It didn’t come with the fancy case but that was fine by me. I also have to straight iron my hair after drying. I could never do it in the morning before getting the Dyson, but the Dyson combined with DryBar’s brush crush straightener and I can actually wash/dry my hair in the morning, which is basically a miracle for me. I still use my flatiron for touch ups since I only wash my hair once a week.
anne-on says
+1 – If you DO have curly hair, the Dyson also works really really well to diffuse it without frizz. My hair is moderately thick and a “2c” (thick, frizzes, wavy but will also naturally form some curls, and blows out easily).
octagon says
+1 Dyson. It is worth every penny.
Anon says
I really like my rusk hair dryer but my hair is fine (although I have a lot of it) so YMMV. So much faster than my old conair.
Anon says
Conair Infiniti Pro. I dry upside down. Comb through spray conditioner and heat spray. First I rough dry using my fingers upside down, then I use a 2.5″ roller to roll all of the ends so they curve in toward me (while upside down), rough dry some more, do a second pass with the rolly brush, and then do a final all over until dry, followed by cool air. Flip right side up, brush the way I like it styled and I’m done. It takes under 10 minutes for my super thick wavy hair, no flat iron required. Any other hair dryer takes 20-30 minutes (caveat that I haven’t tried a T3 (costco special) or a dyson), but at the $60 price point, I don’t think you can beat it.
Anon says
Looks like they’ve come down in price since I bought mine a number of years ago.
Anonymous says
Not what you’re asking, but get a keratin or keratin express treatment! My hair is SO MUCH easier to deal with- dries super quickly, no frizz, it’s amazing. Cuts blowdryer time in half if not more.
Blow dryer? says
II SO want to do this but I’m pregnant so my stylist doesn’t recommend it. Definitely going for it when I can, though!
Anonymous says
So may be a dumb question but…are you sure you don’t actually have curly hair? It sounds crazy but a lot of people won’t figure out that they have actually curly hair until their 30s or 40s. Then you can use the curlygirlmethod and embrace the natural hair. A lot of times frizz is just a curl looking for another curl.
Blow dryer? says
I do have curly hair, but it randomly has really straight parts right by my face! It’s so annoying because I’d love to wear it curly
Blow dryer? says
Or maybe it is curly all over and I just don’t realize it? What is the curly girl method?
CCLA says
Love my Sedu. My backup one in our guest bath is a Conair infiniti, which is okay, but the Sedu gives similar quality to when I get a salon blowout. Going on a few years in and still works perfectly.
Anonymous says
The Revlon volumizer and styler! I was skeptical but kept seeing rave reviews on the regular site and then started looking at videos on youtube. It is on sale for $38.99 and has probably saved me hundreds of dollars in blow outs since I purchased it 6 months ago. From wet to dry, it takes about 20-25 minutes on my coarse curly hair and can last as long as a salon blowout. Previously I would have needed to blow dry and then flat iron my hair and it would be lifeless near-immediately. It is truly amazing!
shortperson says
get a hard hat hair dryer if you have the space. i have a babyliss. it is a piece of furniture and makes me feel like an old lady but costs less than many dryers. and it does all of my hair in 10 minutes while i read on my phone.
So Anon says
Wish me luck over the next few days! This is our first “big” holiday post-divorce. The ex is picking up the kids mid-morning at my house and dropping them at my mom’s in the afternoon. My mom is going to let me know after the kids are there, and I will head over to her house at that point for dinner and hanging out. My ex wanted to do “dinner together,” and I put my foot down and said no. Bear in mind that his request was after he felt the need to “confess” to more information about the affair, which made me want to simultaneously throw up in my mouth and hit something (I did neither). Then he wanted to know why we couldn’t spend time together as a family?! Oh and thank you to whoever suggested Chump Lady all those months ago – her book and website are awesome. Thank you to all of you for your support over these past many months!!
Esta says
Hang in there! This time of year is hard with things like that, but you are doing great and will get through it.
Anonymous says
At some point you’re going to stop talking to him about anything except your kids, and I think you’re going to feel great about it and wish you had drawn that boundary sooner. Idk why you’re still not hanging up the phone or walking out when he starts in on a convo like that,
farrleybear says
Good luck and enjoy your holiday–you deserve it:)
Anon says
Sending good vibes your way!
Seriously he felt the need to tell you that? That’s wrong on so many levels.