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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 77 Comments · by

Everyone Thursday: Alphabet Letter Pendants

Everyone | · ·

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initial pendants for momsI’ve noted before that my Maya Brenner “G” necklaces are some of my favorites — but these Monica Vinader pendants may just give them a run for their money. I love how each initial is in a different font with different little details — the crosshatches on the D, the sparkles on the H, the lowercase, serif-y goodness of the G. They’re available in gold, silver, rose gold, and (hell-o!) rose gold diamonds, all for $105-$240 per initial. Nice. MONICA VINADER A-Z Alphabet Letter gold-plated pendants

Sales of note for 11.28.23…

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • BabyJogger – 25% off 3 items
  • Crate & Kids – Up to 50% off everything plus free shipping sitewide; save 10% off full price items
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  • ErgoBaby – 40% off Omni Breeze Carrier, 25% off Evolve 3-in-1 bouncer, $100 off Metro+Stroller
  • Graco – Up to 30% off car seats
  • Nordstrom – Big deals on CRANE BABY, Petunia Pickle Bottom, TWELVElittle and Posh Peanut
  • Strolleria – 25% off Wonderfold wagons, and additional deals on dadada, Cybex, and Peg Perego
  • Walmart – Savings on Maxi-Cosi car seats, adventure wagons, rocker recliners, security cameras and more!

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Comments

  1. Anelia Bedelia says

    I have international business travel in exactly 41 days. I’ve traveled a few times for business since my second kiddo was born, but I’m always back in two days. This time is for a week, and it is to India so I am not willing to bring second bebe and the nanny. I do NOT have enough milk pumped and frozen to feed her. Plus, she is six months old and I am beyond ready to wean her. BUT I cannot get her to take any formula. I’ve tried the following:
    1. feed her first thing in the morning formula so she is hungriest
    2. feed her nighttime when she is “dream feeding” so she is half asleep
    3. mix 7 oz breast milk with less than 1oz of formula so she barely tastes it
    4. try it in cereal so she gets used to the taste
    5. put sugar (gasp) and/or vanilla in it so she will like it.

    NOTHING works. She flatly refuses it once she realizes what it is (sometimes will drink 1/2 an oz, but then realizes) and then FLIPS OUT. And then she screams when the nipple comes near her until you prove to her it is only breast milk. She takes a bottle like a champ, but only breastmilk.

    I’m at my wits end. Does anyone have ANY ideas on how to wean a difficult child like this to formula? I really don’t want to just starve her until she takes the bottle, but is that my only option? the thought of that reduces me nearly to tears.

    Thanks for any advice. I MUST get this kiddo on formula in a month or I’m sunk.

    • VKJ says

      You probably have already tried this, but throwing it out there just in case: have someone besides you give formula. I think a lot of babies won’t take formula from mom when they know the real thing is right next door.

      Big hugs to you. I can only imagine how stressful this is to you. One other piece of encouragement- my babe’s tastes changed so much in the first year, especially as they tried new foods around that age. She may just wake up one day and have no problem with formula. I hope that’s the case for yours.

      • mascot says

        You’ll get it done. I’ve read that it can take 20 exposures to a new food for a child to decide that they like it so I’d think that formula isn’t much different. Have you tried a few different brands to see if she likes the taste of one a bit more? Don’t start a habit that you don’t want to continue (flavoring the formula or thickening with cereal). Just give her time and let her come around.

        • Anelia Bedelia says

          there are only so many I can try, unfortunately, as she is allergic to dairy and soy!

          • Anonymous says

            My daughter has a dairy allergy – we used to cut her formula (which tasted awful) with vanilla soy milk so that she’d drink it.

            What about a bottle with half formula and half vanilla or chocolate rice or almond milk? Obviously not ideal but if she’s not taking anything at least it gets some into her. You might be able to reduce the portion over time.

            The non-dairy and non-soy formulas taste awful – it’s tough.

            Also see my post below about allowing her to know what to expect by using different bottles for BM and Formula.

          • Jdubs says

            I’m not as familiar with dairy/soy free formulas and how they are sold… but my first daughter would only drink the pre-mixed formula. It was like she could see the powder coming from a mile away. Just an idea if you have been using the powder or vice versa… it may not be the brand but the preparation?

          • Anelia Bedelia says

            this is genius. totally trying it with coconut milk this weekend. thank you!

    • PinkKeyboard says

      I would also try different formulas. There is a goat’s milk one (kabrita) and I believe Baby’s Only which are both supposed to taste much more similar than other products. Could you try one of those and do the mixing? I know my whole foods carries both in the small canisters.

    • Anonymous says

      How did #3 work? Can you stick with that and gradually increase the amount of formula?

    • POSITA says

      Will she take it mixed into cereal by spoon? Maybe you can get her used to the taste that way.

      • Anelia Bedelia says

        that’s how I’ve tried it so far — even adding some fruit a few times — and she declines (not so nicely!)

    • Anonymous says

      Which formula’s have you tried? Our twins would only drink Nestle GoodStart liquid concentrate, they wouldn’t even drink the powdered version. You may have to buy like six types and try a taste test.

      Given her issue with wanting to know if it’s BM or formula — Maybe use different bottles from what you would feed BM in? That way she isn’t expecting BM and getting formula. If she takes playtex bottles you could use the drop ins for the BM and Ventaires for the formula – the nipples are the same but the bottles are different enough that baby might accept BM comes in one and formula in the other.

      Does she take BM from a bottle? If not, try a slow flow 0-3 month nipple as it may be closer to BF.

      • NewMomAnon says

        Or switch so BM comes from a bottle and formula comes from a sippy cup.

      • Anelia Bedelia says

        I’ve tried the only ones on the market she can have.
        she takes BM like a champ from a bottle. not sure if she can do a sippy cup. worth a try, though!

        • Anonymous says

          Sometimes BF babies do better with a straw cup style so keep that in mind as well. We use the Playtex training time ones (i think that’s the name)

    • octagon says

      It’s a little early, but would she drink from a sippy cup?

      Also, have you tried different nipples/bottle types?

    • been there says

      My first baby had this exact problem. After I quit nursing / pumping at 8 mos he never drank formula (and yes, we tried every version, every type of bottle / sippy, and also cow’s milk). He just drank water. We snuck in formula throughout the day — mix one small jar peas / carrots / apples / whatever with two scoops formula and a few drops of water, then spoon feed. Worked fine for us (my LO was at the bottom of the growth chart from the beginning but stayed on track with his growth curve).

      • Anelia Bedelia says

        I would totally do this if she would take formula in food!
        we do what me must to make it through, right?

    • Another R says

      I agree that you need to have someone else try the formula with her. You and your b**bs can’t be around when it happens. I had a million people try to get my kid to take formula and it never, ever happened. Not at all. That same kid also wouldn’t take frozen milk. I ended up not traveling that first year. I don’t know if you have that option.

      Talk to your ped about the water suggestion before you try it, too much water can be harmful or deadly to kids that young. Also, there’s a difference between getting water and BM vs. water and powder formula since the latter is made to be diluted and the former comes from the tap “diluted” (i.e. with water in it).

      • Anelia Bedelia says

        sadly, it really isn’t an option unless I pull myself off this high level matter at work. I’m lead attorney on it and the travel is a must. I’d hate to take such a back step, but if that’s my only option . . . ugh.

        • been there says

          I had a bottle hater. Three points:

          1) my kid would never take a bottle from me. Ever. If she heard me or saw me, she’d refuse. So her father could get her to take some from a bottle, but only if I wasn’t around. Same with daycare. She cracked on the afternoon of day two at daycare.

          2) we moved to a straw cup really early, with pediatrician’s blessing. Maybe talk to your ped about trying that. Kid took a while to get the hang of it but is now all over the zoli cup (but watch out, the damn thing leaks).

          3) it is basic biological instinct that your child will not starve herself. She refuses now because she knows she has alternatives. When you are gone, she will get with the bottle program within a couple days. When I went away on business trips at 5m and 7m or whatever it was, she’d fight the first day, but by day 2, well, she was hungry, so she’d eat some.

          So go kick ass on your trial. Your kid may be cranky while you’re gone but she will not starve herself and she will be very happy to see you when you get back.

          Our pediatrician was also against giving water at that age.

    • ChiLaw says

      How is she with food in general? How would you feel about just trying to get a really good mix of FOOD into her, veggies, fortified cereals, etc., and have her get her nutrition from there instead of the formula? I know it’s not ideal, but at 6 months she can handle real food, and it might be the best option. …I don’t know, this sounds so stressful.

      • Anonymous says

        Huh? BF baby who bottle refuses is like super standard baby problem. Definitely wouldn’t call it ‘crazy’.

        • Anonymous says

          I didn’t mean it in a bad way. But I have never heard of someone encountering this many problems (after trying so many different things!) when switching to bottle. Didn’t meant to offend.

        • anon says

          The baby doesn’t refuse bottles, just formula. I’m personally impressed by the craziness of this baby that can detect less than an ounce of formula in an 8 ounce bottle, and I salute its daring and stubbornness!

          • Anonymous says

            I’m the anon above with the dairy-free daughter. If you’d smelled some of the dairy and soy free formulas that wouldn’t surprise you in the least. Bleech.

          • Amelia Bedelia says

            she sniffs it out the way i sniff out starbucks!!! :)
            and yes. she takes a bottle like a champ. just not formula.

      • Another R says

        I had a baby who wouldn’t drink anything but never-frozen BM from a bottle. She could taste one drop of formula . So, no, I don’t think this situation is crazy. However, I do think think talking to a ped (and possibly someone who knows something about nutrition which peds often don’t that much experience in) about how to make this trip work in terms of what substitutes, if any, would be safe to give a baby of this age when there’s no more BM to give the baby. It’s not always as easy as “when baby gets hungry enough…” and I’d hate for dad or caregiver or whomever to not have pre-determined options if it comes to that while mom is out of town.

        But first, someone other than the OP needs to be trying to give the formula. Over and over and over and only when OP is no where near baby.

    • Samantha says

      Big hugs to you. I can imagine the stress. My second kid was like this. Super at the bottle, but only for BM – wouldn’t take formula. What helped was just try, try and try again. At about 6 months she didnt do it, but fast forward to a couple of months later and she was a lot better (only during the day, only given by caregiver, never on the weekends when I was around). Same formula, same bottle (maybe slightly bigger flow nipple), only difference was time.
      Is baby eating solids ok? Try avocado and other nutritious foods with some fat content (yogurt too) so that the caregiver has some backups if she doesn’t drink milk the first couple days when you’re away. She should be ok in a couple days. Worst case, can you say it’s a baby emergency and head back home and do the rest on conference calls?

      • Amelia Bedelia says

        thanks. she isn’t too terribly interested in food. she eats at avocado and banana and some cereal, but, really, she just wants the boob milk. all. the. time.!

        and no. either I’m there for the long haul or i’m off the case. i’m gone a week, but the meetings aren’t that many days. it’s just that it is in Asia, so very long travel time.

    • Try European formulas! says

      Holle or HiPP formula from Europe may be worth a shot (and cheaper than flying the baby+nanny). Our friends’ son was this way as well and would only drink Holle…They tried so many formula brands and the expensive imported German formula was the winner. Luckily, they got a sample from another friend to test out first.

  2. Belly Bands says

    Hi y’all. Do Belly Bands really work? I’ve heard people say that they ride up/down and need a lot of adjusting, but I’m also not sure what alternative I have if I want to keep wearing my suits.

    • CHJ says

      I liked them, but in retrospect I probably could have started wearing maternity clothes earlier. They are relatively inexpensive, so maybe try one and see if it works for you?

    • POSITA says

      They work, but do shift or roll sometimes. I also found maternity pants to shift, so there’s not a perfect solution. Holding up pants or a skirt when you don’t have a waste is inherently tricky. I preferred dresses.

    • NewMomAnon says

      They do work, but I found it a pain to reset everything after going to the bathroom (which I did all the time), so I shifted to maternity pants.

        • PBD says

          +1 for the annoyance in adjusting after bathroom trips. HOWEVER I am liking still being able to wear some of my regular clothes! Sprung for the Ingrid & Isabel one with the sticky silicone band, and also wear it folded over which helps a lot (17 weeks along here).

    • totally! says

      Yes, they do. I found they worked MUCH better when worn folded over. I put the band on inside-out, then pulled up my pants, then folded the top half of the band over the top of the pants, such that the ‘sticky band’ on it was holding onto the outside of my pants. This arrangement was stable and usually could be preserved through at least 1 bathroom trip (pulling pants and band down together).

  3. Momata says

    Any tips for a kid who is just NOT a “morning person”? My daughter has woken up from 95% of all naps and sleeps in a horrible sobbing whiny shrieky mess of tears since the day she was born. Our mornings and post-nap periods are miserable. She’s 2.5 … it’s getting old.

    • Anonymous says

      My son is like that. Something to drink seems to help. When I go in to get him or wake him up, I bring a sippy with water and a splash of apple juice. He sits and drinks it and seems to help ease the transition.

      I’m a super vivid dreamer so I relate to the feeling of waking up and being totally distressed/panicked and not sure what’s real and what’s not. Obviously I have no way of knowing if that’s what’s happening with your kid. It’s hard for kids who have the same thing going on but can’t express it.

    • Faye says

      I’m the same way and so are my kids. I want to just be left alone, no talking to me, for about 5 min while I fully wake up. If someone asks me a question in those 5 min, it dampens my entire mood. My kids (so far) want me or Dad to hold them in our lap and rub their backs, but no talking no other people no bright lights, for 2 min or so. They know to say “Good morning Mama/Daddy” when they’re ready, and then they can ease slowly into breakfast or snack.
      2 min each is SUCH a small price to pay to avoid the shrieking mess, that we gladly make time for it.

      Maybe talk to your DD tonight and set up a silly code word that she likes? “I know it’s hard to wake up after you’re sleeping. How about tomorrow morning, I’ll come wake you up, then sit on your bed. Once you’re ready to get up and get ready, then say “Pickle” and I’ll know you’re ready to say good morning and go to the bathroom.”

      • Momata says

        I like this approach and would love to use it. But we don’t wake her up – she wakes up and immediately starts sobbing. We respond quickly with milk and offer to just sit on her bed, and speak softly; she keeps crying for several minutes. I ask if she wants to open the drapes and she always says yes. She refuses books.

        • Faye says

          Ugh. Can you get ahead of the wake up? I know it sucks, but can you say, go in at 5am if she usually wakes up at 5:15? (Or wake her up 45 min into the nap if she’s usually up in 50?)

          You could also try talking to her about what she could do when she wakes up and feels sad – what helps her feel better? Can she go get a special toy to cuddle/play with? (Maybe take her shopping for a special wakeup friend?) Does she want a special blanket to hold? Or a special pillow? Offer lots of alternatives, and have her think of some. (Usually I try to offer silly things to get her thinking. Like, “wake up and put on your rainboots, that will help you feel happy!” or “wake up and push all your dolls off your bed, and tell them to be quiet” or “wake up and sing a song to the dog”) Explain she can try it tomorrow and if it doesn’t work, she can try something new the next day.

          If that doesn’t help, around that age my DD started really responding to stories with really dramatic facial expressions. “Once upon a time, there was a girl named M. She loved sleeping. She loved it so much that when she woke up, it made her sad. She would cry and cry and cry. Poor little M! She was sad. One day, she decided to squeeze her polka dot pillow when she got sad. Maybe that would help! So she went to bed and made sure she had her polka dot pillow in her bed. When she woke up, she was SAD! Oh no! But she remembered her plan! She squeezed her polka dot pillow! Lots and lots of squeezing! So hard! Then she wasn’t sad! Hooray! She yelled to her mom and dad. Mom and Dad! I awake! I happy! Everyone was so happy. The end.”

          • Momata says

            Thanks. I’ll try diverting her to something like this with a story. I’ve been trying to sell wakeup time as “special time you can do whatever you want in your room” but maybe a specific act to feel happy would work.

    • NewMomAnon says

      Is she actually awake when she wakes up sobbing? My daughter used to do that half the time, and it turned out that what she really needed was for me to say, “It’s not morning yet,” tuck her back in, and let her sleep for another hour or so. Then she wakes up happy and chipper.

      I’m not going to lie – the first few times I tried the “it’s not morning yet” trick, she was SO MAD and screamed for about 3 minutes before she would let me tuck her in. Once she got used to me telling her it wasn’t morning yet, she would just say, “OK,” then lay back down and fall asleep. I decided that “morning” starts at 6 am. I think I’m going to push it back to 6:30.

      • Momata says

        totally awake. she gets out of bed and lies on the floor next to the door screaming. We’ll let her go for a bit if she’s not slept long enough or it’s too early, as sometimes she will fall back asleep on the carpet.

        • NewMomAnon says

          I should clarify – my kiddo would be awake too. But she wasn’t actually done sleeping. I’m sure if she could have gotten out of bed, she would have wailed outside my door, but she is still in a crib (thank heavens).

          • October says

            +1 when my son wakes up like this it usually means he needs to be snuggled back to sleep for a bit. He’s younger than your kiddos, though.

        • Anonymous says

          How dark is it in her room? You mentioned that she likes it when the curtains are opened. Does she have a nightlight so she can see a bit when she wakes up.

          • Momata says

            Thanks to you all for helping troubleshoot this. She does have a nightlight. And this happens at naptime too when there is ambient light.

    • Betty says

      My son (now 5.5) was the same way. Honestly, what worked for us was to bring him a sippy of chocolate milk and turn on an episode of mickey mouse clubhouse. We didn’t (and still don’t) interact much in that first thirty minutes. He knows to come find me when he is ready to get the morning going. If I give him the space he needs and a chance to slowly wake up, he is so much more pleasant.

  4. Nanny questions says

    If your nanny has a credit card that you provide, would you provide the details of the set up? I’ve heard everything from refillable debit card totally separate from anything to just adding the nanny on as a user to one’s regular account.

    My husband and I both use a credit card linked to our Costco account for everything, but our nanny does a lot of our shopping for us. We’d like to add our nanny so she can use the card and the Costco membership , we can get the points and we don’t have to check any new accounts we’re not checking anyways. What’s the downside here? Obviously we already trust her with something much more important than a credit card (our kids!) but there’s some exposure here, no? My mom has me on some of her accounts simply for ease of me taking over should she become incapacitated but now her stuff shows up on my credit check and when I refinanced my house, there was some weird extra step required because of this.

    • Anonymous says

      Please post again in the morning, I’d love to hear others’ thoughts myself, as I’d consider this too.

  5. pelvic floor pt, anyone? says

    Also posted on the main s!te:

    My PT thinks I may need to be referred for pelvic floor PT. Experiences? Anecdotes? It sounds a little…invasive…

    • Anonymous says

      I did it post twins and it’s great! Totally worth it.

      Cosmo magazine did a really good and detailed article on pelvic floor PT –http://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/a59626/birth-injuries-postpartum-pain-untreated/

    • Another R says

      Just responded on the main page, was wondering if you were a new mom or not. My suggestion is do it!!! So many new moms here suffer from pelvic floor issues! In some circles these issues seem to be accepted as the price we pay for having kids. Just because these issues are commonplace doesn’t mean they’re normal or something one has to live with forever.

      I recently read on some mom blog that in places like France it’s acknowledged that those muscles need help after pregnancy and childbirth and new moms are automatically sent to PT.

      • Anonymous says

        This. My husband is European and was totally surprised that PT wasn’t a standard postpartum treatment here.

    • Anonymous says

      Did it. It was amazing. Physio is super professional. I learned so much from a single visit about all the pelvic floor issues and easy exercises to do to assist with my specific problems. Honestly, would recommend to all pregnant and post-partum women.

      • Anonymous says

        +1 So important, it’s shocking to me that we don’t generally take more care of post-partum women (and ourselves). Childbirth is no joke! My experience was also great. The PTs are just like any other medical professionals — you and they are there to get a job done and work on fixing a particular part of your body.

    • anon says

      I did it. I didn’t really help me but it wasn’t very invasive – a lot of it is doing kegels while doing things. There was something that involved the PT taping electrodes around my area but the PT was so nonchalant about it that it was fine.

  6. Kindergarten help please says

    Our son hates kindergarten, which he started 3 weeks ago. He’s getting physical with other kids and tells the teachers that he is bored and doesn’t want to do the work. Boredom is likely part of the problem, as he already knows how to read and write. He was at a Montessori school the past 2 years, so it’s obviously a pretty big change to a “regular” school. I’ve told him he has to keep his hands to himself and he has to do his work, that’s just how school is. Do you wise women have any ideas? TIA.

    • Anonymous says

      Montessori allows a fair bit of independent and self directed work so I can see why he’d struggle with the transition.

      Our daughter’s kindergarten teacher emphasized that the point of kindergarten was not so much the academic side but more the social side and learning how to be a student. Like learning to work with other children in a group or to sit and do an activity even when you want to play. Can you talk to the teacher about giving him more challenging reading or writing work? Accepting that sometimes you have to do something that you don’t want to do is part of the growing up process. So I guess no real advice but a lot of empathy!

    • POSITA says

      My best friend is a kindergarten teacher and she has said that the kids coming from a Montessori program typically have the most trouble adjusting. She says the routine and expectations are just very different.

    • PhilanthropyGirl says

      Perhaps a reward system would work? On the days he completes his school work, keeps his hands to himself, no disciplinary notes from the teacher, etc…. can he be rewarded with sticker charts or the like that amount to a small prize once a week?

      I’m sure the transition from Montessori to a “regular: school is a big switch for him. Rewarding correct behavior may help develop a habit in him that will last into future school years.

    • ChiLaw says

      I repeated kindergarten at different schools because my birthday fell on one side of the cut off for the first school, and the other for the other side. So the second time through kindergarten was a bit repetitive. Anyway, one great thing I learned was how to amuse myself quietly at my desk. My teacher taught me to turn my paper over and draw on the back. It kept me busy if I finished ahead of time without causing disruption. Maybe you can give kiddo ideas like that?

    • mascot says

      Is he getting into “fights” or is it friendly roughhousing? Does he have friends in that class already? Can he have some playdates to get to know some kids? This age can be painful to watch as they figure out social skills.
      For the reading, can he get harder books? My child is repeating K this year so his teachers are having to find new ways to engage him for the material he already knows cold. Right now it is keeping him in higher level books. They split the kids up in small groups based on ability so they can customize the work a little.

    • Kindergarten mom says

      The teacher does have harder books/work for him to do after he finishes the regular work, which is good. Rewards, play dates, and managing free time better are all great ideas, thanks!
      He likes to play rough, which I think is pretty normal, but maybe the other kids aren’t of the same mindset. I’ve tried telling him now that he’s older, he’s stronger and so has to be more careful with his body. We try to keep him pretty active with swimming, baseball, and tennis, but he still has plenty of energy.

      • Anonymous says

        Could get him to burn off some of the energy before school? Like a Nintendo Wii Fit game while you’re getting ready?

    • Anonymama says

      My kid’s school has a whole mindfulness program that focuses on recognizing emotions and finding appropriate outlets, which seems to be pretty effective in helping avoid or resolve conflicts. Can you talk with him about what the situations are where he’s getting physical, and what he should do instead? (Or ask the teacher about what their strategies are so you can encourage/reinforce at home). Actually, if ask the teachers first, it’s likely they’ve faced his issue before.

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