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I’m loving this dress by Ann Taylor. I like the easy and basic shape of it, but with the added colorblocking triangle that adds a flattering touch to the waistline. Other features that make this a great choice: ponte, short sleeves, and a V-neck! It also comes in purple but without the colorblock detail. It is available in regular sizes 00–18 and in tall sizes 0–16. The dress is $139 full price but is currently on sale for $75. All-Day Ponte Dress In Colorblock For plus sizes, there’s an option from Calvin Klein at Amazon. Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear. This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 4.18.24
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Cb says
We’re off to Berlin next week with our toddler, on the recommendation of moms here! We are staying in a flat in Prenzlauer Berg and are really looking forward to our first real family holiday. Ryanair has changed their baggage requirements so I’m going to have to get a bit creative with packing but it’ll be okay.
Any particular highlights?
Legally Brunette says
I loved Berlin and went with my 4 month old for a week. The city is very flat and everyone speaks English, so very easy to get around. We took an umbrella stroller and it was very easy to walk everywhere and/or take the train. I would definitely take the train at least one day, your toddler would enjoy it. What is also nice is that many of the things to see are outside (Berlin Wall, Holocaust Memorial, etc.) so you don’t have to worry about your kids being very quiet. We didn’t have a chance to go to the zoo but with a toddler, I would definitely do that . The locals are very nice to kids and friendly. Have so much fun!
shortperson says
i really enjoyed going to a toy store and seeing the beautiful wood toys.
Ak says
The zoo, definitely, take the train to get there. Also, random playgrounds found around Berlin / pberg are great!
We took our toddler to a wonderful dinner right at opening time of Katz Orange (make a reservation) and they were super accommodating (and delicious).
Cafe Anna Blume was delicious for breakfast (we ended up with a lot of breakfast). We must have ended up at the playground just a block away (kollwitzplatz) to play afterwards.
Have fun!
Clumsy anon says
Ugh so I took a serious fall yesterday at 32 weeks. Luckily, baby seems to be ok. But the ER said I likely cracked my kneecap. While I’m so so beyond grateful the baby’s ok, I’m so disappointed in myself and really stressed at the thought that I won’t be able to exercise or go to yoga. I also used all kinds of positions in my last labor and I’m concerned what this means for that too (not to mention having to care for my 2 year old). Anyone been there? Or anyone know of a great knee specialist in DC?
Anonymous says
Oh so sorry! Falling isn’t your fault. Yoga isn’t necessary. Sorry I don’t have any doctors to recommend but I’m sure you’ll find a great one and get through this
octagon says
Oh no! Don’t be too hard on yourself. Falling happens, and it’s so hard as your center of gravity keeps shifting.
I’ve had good luck with Anderson Orthopedics – not in DC but they have a location in Arlington near Pentagon City.
Knope says
Oh please please don’t be disappointed in yourself. Even non-pregnant people randomly fall, and when you are pregnant your center of balance changes. I hope you heal quickly.
anon says
I’m so sorry, that stinks! I hope you feel better soon.
Spirograph says
Ugh, sorry this happened to you, but glad the baby is OK! No advice on a knee specialist in DC, but I just wanted to reassure you. I fell and badly sprained my ankle (not quite the same, but important joint for useful things like standing, regardless) around 36 weeks. I was still able to swim with a float between my legs and no kicking, and labor required a little more physical support to change positions, but it was still possible. You have a couple months, and hopefully will feel a lot better before the baby comes.
Good luck!
Anon says
Dont beat yourself up. I fell at 27 weeks and it ended up being a blessing in disguise because it forced me to slow down and the extra care revealed some complications with our daughter that otherwise might have been missed. I know it’s hard and humbling but it happens!
anon says
Quick getaway from DC ideas for next week? I just realized that its Emancipation Day on Tuesday and Good Friday next week and schools will be closed. We could make one of those into a long weekend…but where?
Legally Brunette says
How old are your kids? Harper’s Ferry (1.5 hours from DC) is quick and nice. We walked around the heritage sites and did a long hike. Deep Creek Lake (around 2.5 hours from DC) is also fun, not as much to do per se but you can go on walks in the national park and rent a canoe and paddle around the lake. My kids loved both trips.
Anon says
Charlottesville (wineries, breweries, hiking, eating, history). Richmond (history, breweries, maymont park, children’s museum (if you have little kids), eating).
Anonymous says
Hershey Park is open 3 weekends in April!! The Hershey lodge has an indoor water park now. You can do chocolate world on Monday morning? Depending on budget/availability/kids ages try Great Wolf Lodge??
Au pair experience? says
Do any of you have experience with au pairs? (I searched this site but I don’t think it searches the comments, drat!)
I am expecting my second in September and we are realizing that the two-kid drop-off and pick up is going to be almost impossible without a third adult and are debating between an au pair and a part-time nanny. My older child will be 4.5 when the second is born and is in full day preschool. We’ve decided that we want both kids in full-time day care (we prefer group care for infants) but are going to need help with pickup/dinner/bedtime once I go back to work. And once my older child is in kindergarten, it would be awesome to have some flexibility to have him do some activities (like swimming lessons) after school so our weekends are more open.
It seems like the cost is about comparable for wages for a part time (20 hours/week) nanny on the books in my large Midwestern city and the fees for an au pair (having two in daycare is the real downer..). My understanding is that au pairs can work up to 45 hours per week, and it would be awesome to be able to count on someone for date night or when one of us has to work on the weekend. We’d likely try to get an au pair or a nanny who speaks Spanish as we send the older to language immersion school (and the younger will follow when old enough).
Pros of au pair: More hours/$, flexibility, cross-cultural opportunities for us and kids. Cons: Someone living in the house, potentially having to play parent and boss to a young adult.
Any thoughts or experiences, good or bad? And can you ask an au pair to speak his or her native language to the kids?
Mama Llama says
Here’s one previous discussion: https://corporettemoms.com/accessory-tuesday-diamond-initial-pendant-charm/#comment-178569
Anonymous says
Also super interested in this! I’d love to have someone pick the baby up at 4 from day care and generally help out until bedtime to give me more flexibility, and cover sick days and snow days and idiotic holidays, but not sure if this is a practical expectation!
anon says
I’d look at the recent au pair agency settlement agreement. The pay set by agencies traditionally was below minimum wage (even accounting for permitted deductions for room and board) and thus illegal.
I wouldn’t get an au pair unless I was planning on paying at least minimum wage, which I think is quite a bit higher than what the agencies still recommend for wages.
Au pair experience? says
Thanks, this is super helpful. I of course want to pay what’s legally required as well as what’s morally right, and the pay on the au pair services’ websites does seem awfully low. I’ll definitely look into this.
Anon says
If you want to share your large midwestern city I may know some people to connect you with locally. One thing to add – my friends with au pairs have had a really hard time getting them to take and pass driving tests so you probably will need a few months of not relying on yours for pick up/drop off.
anon says
My friends with au pairs all wanted Germans because they are good drivers.
Anon says
Ha, my husband had au pairs from Spain and France growing up. They loved the Spanish ones because they were warm and affectionate, but (true to stereotype) the French one was cold and snooty.
Au pair experience? says
We’re in Chicago. Thanks for the tip – hopefully the au pair wouldn’t have to drive too much day to day since the daycares are walking distance from our home, but it’s a good consideration if we are thinking about after school activities.
Wow says
I have not had an au pair but many of my friends have. If it’s a good fit, it’s fantastic for all the reasons you describe.
However, the big advantage to a part-time nanny is that you can fire them easily and not feel as bad about it. With an au pair, it’s much more of a big deal since they have moved across the world to care for your kids. With that said, my friends have collectively fired 3 au pairs. If the price works out the same, I would consider a part time nanny because the stakes are not as high. I would also never want someone living in my house, but that’s me.
Au pair experience? says
Yeah, it’s a high-risk high-reward sort of situation – and you can’t really meet an au pair first the way you could meet a nanny. Food for thought. And I’m sure there are agencies that could help me find a nanny (the thought of culling through care dot com is daunting to me).
Anon says
This. One of my colleagues toughed it out with a poor fit au pair (relationship soured after about 6 months, so they just kept her on until the end), and then had to fire a different au pair after about a month on the job, which then lead to weeks of vacation, summer camp and grandparent coverage to get them through until they could hire a nanny.
Mama Llama says
The link is stuck in moderation but there was a discussion on au pairs on 12/11/18 that you might be interested in.
Au pair experience? says
Thank you!!! I’ll check it out.
Pogo says
I also have luck searching g00gle with the keywords “c0rp0rette” and whatever I’m looking for – the search bar here does not search comments.
Obviously using the real spellings – am trying to avoid mod….
Anonymous says
We recently got an au pair and are very happy about it. 3 kids, one of whom is school-aged. The little ones are still in all-day preschool. She helps get everyone ready in the mornings, drops the older one off at the bus stop and picks him up and takes him to any after-school activities, and picks up the little ones around 5, helps with bedtime to the extent needed, does some kid-chores during the day, and helps out for a few hours on Saturday. This is exactly what we needed, and it would have been hard if not impossible to find a nanny or housekeeper to help out at all these split-up hours. I agree that it is a bigger risk though. We chose an older au pair out of concern over having to “parent” a fourth kid!
Au pair experience? says
Thanks for the insight! This is basically what we need too. Glad to hear it’s working out for your family. I think this set up is a different proposition than relying on an au pair for full time 9-5 child care and could really work, if there’s matching personalities and expectations.
AP says
There are definitely some past threads on au pairs. We are on our second and it’s amazing, far better than our nanny ever was
But you need to go into it knowing it’s more than childcare. You are adding another member of the family. For us, it has worked out wonderfully but it’s just a different relationship vs employee/employer
Also our current AP is German and is warm in addition to being a strong driver
Echo the advice of going 21+ but I know there are exceptions
Au pair experience? says
Thanks. I’ll try another way of searching. I do remember it coming up before. And totally understand about the relationship being more than childcare employee. I personally think that’s an advantage (one that is sometimes found in nanny relationships as well, but less often it seems) – and something that would have to come with the territory with having someone live with you and it be a good relationship. But good to go in eyes wide open for sure.
ElisaR says
my neighbor had to fire her au pair when she went down to the basement of their home and found her taking selfies of herself in her undies….. apparently her focus was being on dating site and snagging a man in the US.
My SIL has one now and won’t fire the au pair but is not happy with the setup. She’s also not comfortable having someone live in her home which quite honestly….. she should have thought of before getting an au pair!
Coach Laura says
The “A Week in the Life of a Working Mom” series have quite a few who have au pairs and discuss a lot of the good/bad of au pair use. https://corporettemoms.com/tag/working-moms-with-an-au-pair/
Au pair experience? says
Thanks everyone for all of your comments – really helpful in thinking this through. For anyone else interested in this, I went down some useful rabbit holes today. I found aupairmom.com to be particularly helpful, and there are also a bunch of posts on dcurbanmoms.com (that forum can be intense it seems, fair warning) about au pairs. It was nice to read what current host families are going through, even if it’s mostly troubleshooting.
Daycare naps says
What, if anything, can you I about a baby who won’t nap at daycare? LO has been taking one half hour nap the whole day, which leads to so much fussiness all night.
Also, the fact that babies sleep worse after not sleep is such a cruel reality of parenthood. Ugh.
AwayEmily says
How old? My first was just a lovely daycare napper and my second is…not. It’s helped to ask the daycare teachers to use white noise/put his crib in an out-of-the-way spot. If possible, try putting him to bed early (even if it means he gets up early — I think it does help them make up some sleep). I would say my first started taking consistently good daycare naps at around 18 months. I’m hoping my second does as well — he’s 14 months now and headed in that direction; he’s improved a lot in the past few weeks. I bet once the weather is nicer and yours is playing outside more, that’ll help to increase tiredness/make for better naps too.
It’s so frustrating, though, because it’s largely out of your control.
Daycare naps says
7 months. We’ve been doing early bedtime but he just doesn’t sleep well when he’s that exhausted (not to mention that he wakes up soooo early.) White noise is a good idea, I’ll ask about that.
AwayEmily says
As FVNC says, this will almost certainly get better once he gets to the one-nap-a-day schedule. It seems like FOREVER from now but it will be there before you know it!
that being said I am very sympathetic to how stressful it can be. I am generally compulsive about sleep and tracked my first’s until she was ~10 months. I remember several days where I actually CRIED when she didn’t get enough sleep. With my second it was mentally much easier to deal with the ups and downs because I knew things would get better as he got older — and they did!
lawsuited says
I am so glad to hear another mum obsesses about sleep as much as I do (I have cried and literally wrung my hands). Sleep is absolutely my parenting albatross. Even before my son was born I found out what sleep aids the daycare would and wouldn’t allow (e.g. sleepsacks fine but no blankets, loveys fine but no stuffies) and we set up our son’s routine to have as many of the allowable sleep aids as possible and nothing that wasn’t allowed. We have duplicates for daycare of everything he uses at home.
Cb says
How long has it been? My son was a terrible napper for the first 3 or 4 months and now I have a label on his buggy (he’s a buggy napper) that he shouldn’t be left to sleep for more than 2 hours.
FVNC says
Not the answer you’re looking for, but neither of my kids napped well in daycare until their rooms switched to the one-a-day nap schedule. BUT – once they hit that point, they both became great nappers and night sleepers, so you WILL get there one day!
Our daycares really weren’t willing/able to work with us to implement individualized plans, i.e, did not allow swaddling or white noise, couldn’t make the room darker, etc. We hired a sleep consultant for our second, and she said this is a super common problem. Her recommendation was for me to pick up the baby very early and get him to bed by 6 or 6:30 to maximize night sleep. We did this for months, and night sleep did improve a bit but wasn’t great (for other reasons, including chronic ear infections). Because his bedtime was so early, I could do work after he went to sleep, but I definitely didn’t get much awake time with him during those months. Good luck; this is tough and there’s just not a ton you can do to make them sleep better at daycare if they’re not inclined to sleep there.
Anon says
+1 this matches our experience. DD was a terrible daycare napped. Keeping her bed time around 6/6:30 helped the best.
octagon says
Hugs. At our daycare, they didn’t have a set naptime for the babies, expecting them to just sleep whenever they were tired. Mine had wayyyyy too much FOMO to actually close his eyes. We basically came home, played a short bit and then put him down by 6:30. Usually he would then wake up to eat around 11 and then sleep the rest of the night.
For us, as soon as he moved into the toddler room with a set nap time and darkened rooms and cots and everything, and he slept like clockwork there.
Anon says
Daycare moms – how long does it take you to get out of the house in the morning? What is your routine? My 13 month old is a night owl who regularly sleeps past 8:30. I have a fairly flexible work start time, but the daycare we’re starting at soon said they would like her to usually be there by 9, because that’s when they serve their morning snack and arriving during the snack is disruptive, which makes sense. It’s about 15 minutes from our house so we’ll have to leave around 8:45. I’m hoping to wake her up as late as possible, so I’ll be all ready before I wake her. What should we do about food? I’m still nursing morning/evening and am wondering if I should just nurse her in the mornings and not worry about solids, since she’ll get a substantial snack at daycare basically as soon as she arrives. Or take something with us in the car to go? I’ve heard that’s not really safe though. Advice about morning routines welcome!
Redux says
I would skip solids in the morning for the reason you mention, so long as the “snack” is nutritious. Our daycare also has a hard-start time of 9am so that they can get on with their day! My kids often slide in right at 8:59 and grab that morning snack before it gets put away at 9. Like your baby, we are not morning people, so this hard start time is a good routine for us.
Apart from the question of food, you should also ask if you can bring your kiddo in pajamas and have the daycare change her into clothes you pack. My kids wake up early enough for clothes and diaper changes, but with a late sleeper like yours, I would pass along most of the morning get-ready routine to daycare if they’re ok with it. My daycare always does a morning round of potty/diapers after the 9am snack and before circle time, so it would be no problem to change a kids clothes when they’re diapering anyhow.
Anon says
I was thinking we would have her sleep in her clothes. At least in the summer, she usually sleeps in a onesie and sleepsack, so it only takes about 30 seconds to remove the sleepsack and add pants. I think she really needs a diaper change because she wakes up with a HUGE diaper, and that also only takes about 30 seconds. The feeding is what really takes a long time, especially feeding solids.
AnotherAnon says
I was really worried about morning routine timing, but it ended up not being a big deal. I would probably nurse and then just drop off by 9 for morning snack. You can send breakfast with her if you’re concerned about her getting enough food. Definitely get ready before she wakes, so that when she wakes (I’m a big proponent of letting my LO wake up on his own, though he rarely sleeps past 8) you can just dress her (or just do a diaper change) and go!
Cb says
My 20 month old son gets up at 6:20 and we have to leave the house to catch the bus at 7:10. The night before, we gather any things that need to go to nursery. If we’re driving, we’ll put the buggy in the car the night before. My son wakes up, has a sippy cup with milk in bed with us (was nursing until 2 months ago), then we get dressed and he goes with one parent for a nappy change while the other gets breakfast ready. We have breakfast together and then get dressed and dash out the door. We recently started prepping outfits when we do laundry at the weekend, I have a basket and I’ll put 5 outfits for the week (socks, trousers, top, jumper) and this makes it much easier – bonus, he matches!
Anonymous says
I remember stressing about this a lot arounnd the same age, because we too were trying to wake the kids up as late as possible. I think our key is having a really simple breakfast, which works because daycare will feed them again at 9:15 and my kids aren’t very hungry when they first wake up anyway. What we ended up doing for our twins starting when we dropped formula at 12 months and are mostly still doing now at 2 (though adding in a potty trip before we leave pushes everything back a bit):
6:45 – Wake up, get dressed, change diapers. (We never bothered picking out clothes ahead of time, since it only takes a few seconds to pull out a shirt and pants for each kid, but that would be one less thing to do in the morning.)
6:55 – Go downstairs. Put kids in high chairs/booster seats with cup of milk and easy breakfast (toast, oat muffin, banana; the goal is finger foods, not something like cereal or oatmeal that requires a spoon). Kids eat while we do last minute prep for leaving the house.
7:10 – Put on shoes and jacket, head out to car
7:15 – Pulling out of the driveway
It’s a pretty intense 30 minutes, but we’re not willing to wake them up any earlier and can’t leave the house any later, so it is what it is.
Long time lurker says
We leave at 745 for 8 am arrival and the latest my daughter sleeps is 7. She is 13 months. She gets a sippy cup of whole milk in her crib then diaper and clothing change after. She is then playing for a bit and gets some dry Cheerios or kashi cereal (in highchair while I finish getting ready). When I’m 100% ready I get her coat on and put her in stroller and we are off. (City so no car). Depending on her wake up which can be anywhere between 615 and 7 I try to do as much of my own getting ready while she is still asleep. (I shower at night).
Long time lurker says
Edited to add – breakfast at daycare is around 845 am so I feel she needs a little something solid to tide her over.
lawsuited says
It takes the one hour from when I get up to get out the door. Our routine looks something like this:
6:15am: I get up, brush teeth, put on makeup, fix frightening hair situation, get partially dressed (unless I’m wearing low-risk all-black)
6:30am: I get the toddler’s milk, get toddler up and dressed, we read whatever book or play whatever game I bribed him with to make the dressing happened
6:45am: My husband wakes up and showers, I get the baby up and bfeed her while toddler riffles through my nightstand or underwear drawer or similar
7:00am: My husband gets dressed, I change and dress the baby, finished getting dressed then pick up the top floor a bit so it’s not a mess at bedtime.
7:15: We put coats on (putting toddler’s shoes on at this stage used to take sooooo much time so now putting on shoes is part of dressing, see: bribe), get in the car and are en route to daycare.
We can get out the door by 7 if I get up at 6, or if I sleep in until 6:30 then we’re out the door at 7:30.
Things I do the night before: take out bmilk to defrost for the baby, pack my bag, pack anything we need to take to daycare, pick up the main floor.
Emily S. says
The most helpful thing for me to do is get mostly dressed and ready myself before I get the babies up — except, wear a robe or old button down shirt because kid stains are inevitable. Packing the car, eating breakfast, getting dressed before they get up means we’re out the door 10-15 minutes earlier. Why is that?
Anon says
Just need to vent. I had to miss an international conference I was looking forward to a few weeks ago because of hyperemesis. DH has been working around the clock because of tax season and yesterday DD came down with a nasty stomach bug and got sick over a dozen times in a couple of hours. She’s fine today but daycare wouldn’t take her so I have to miss work (because tax season) and also have to miss another conference that starts tomorrow to make up for missing two days in the office. And both our cars have broken down in the past two weeks too. I know it’s a season but I want this one to pass already.
Anon says
Ugh that sounds really rough! Solidarity.
Pogo says
Ugh. This is the kind of stuff about having two working parents that just wears on you after awhile. But someday their immune systems will be stronger! We will be done having babies! There is an end!
I had to miss a conference recently because of a conflict (DH had to travel at the same time and no grandparents around to cover) and it sucks. Hang in there!
Anon says
I’m so sorry, that’s so frustrating! My DH is also in the midst of tax season and it feels like it will never end. I don’t think he always realizes the sacrifices I have to make to allow him to work the way he does this time of year – it’s hard on our whole family.
Anon OP says
Ah glad another tax season spouse gets it! During the rest of the year there’s a lot of give and take but it’s hard in this time when you’re always the one who has to sacrifice your schedule.
anon says
hugs. this too shall pass. I was the poster yesterday with the vomiting twins (thank you to everyone for your super kind comments!) and they both slept 12 hours last night, though one threw up again today. it is so hard not having local family. i was texting a local friend bc we were at the same bday party on sunday and i don’t know if my whole family caught the stomach bug there, but she told me she wasn’t feeling well so her kid was going to sleep at the grandparents’ house. if only that was an option for me…
Anon says
Can anyone recommend a pre-natal to take while TTC (which may take a while). I started taking a regular, full on prenatal and I think the iron is seriously messing with my stomach. I can put up with that if I’m pregnant but is there something gentler I could take while preparing to C? I think my doc mostly wants me to get the folate at this stage, the iron is more for when pg is confirmed. Is there such a thing as a pre-pre-natal?
HSAL says
The prenatal gummies don’t have iron, and are delicious, so try those and that should help.
anon says
Yes, theralogix has a pre-pregnancy specific one. Couldn’t swear to the iron content though.
Lily says
You can ask your doc to prescribe you prenatal vitamin. No need to pay out of pocket. You can discuss specific kinds or issues with iron with your doc.
Anonymous says
My GP and OB both said that my regular “for women” multivitamin plus vitamin D supplement that I also take when not pregnant or TTC was all I needed.
Anonymous says
Rainbow light has an easier to digest form of iron, but also gummies don’t have iron because they’re an overdose risk and too much iron can kill you.
Anon says
I take the Nature Made Prenatal with the DHA (one pill, yay!) although the fish oil odor is starting to get to me (I swear they weren’t as fishy the last time I was pregnant). It has iron in it, but I haven’t noticed any issues with it (although I think my iron is typically low anyways).
Anon says
I also take it at night before I go to bed, and always have, so that could also be part of the lack of side effects.
Anonymous says
Just co-signing the fishy smell for NatureMade. I think the composition switched while I was pregnant because I didn’t notice a problem until I got a new bottle and all of a sudden BAM it was a bit overpowering.
rosie says
I took gummy pre-natals that didn’t have iron (Vitafusion or CVS/Target equiv). I didn’t take iron in my pregnancy until my OB recommended it based on my labs in the third tri, at which point I started with VItron-C, easy to swallow pill that is supposed to be better absorbed and easier on the stomach. I preferred that, esp since you have to remember not to have the iron w/calcium (interferes with absorption) & vit C helps absorption.
Yet another potty training question says
Anyone have suggestions for motivating a 25-month-old to sit on the potty? We’re at about week 3 of potty training and she’s quite good about going once she’s there, but daycare says she’s been throwing tantrums when they try to take her to the bathroom, I think because she doesn’t want to leave all her friends and toys. We run into this problem at home sometimes, too, but we can usually convince her to do it.
I’m all for bribes at this point, but I don’t know what would work at daycare. It’s a small class, only four older (2.5-3) boys plus her, so her teacher is both very motivated to make this work and flexible enough to do what we suggest, but I need ideas. Do sticker charts work at this age?
anon in brooklyn says
Setting a timer, so she has a little bit of time to prepare, works sometimes for us. We don’t even have to really set a timer, just tell her there is one.
HSAL says
The Daniel Tiger potty training episode should help. Everyone waits for the potty person to go and then they continue playing so the kid doesn’t miss out.
OP says
We watched that our first weekend but haven’t since, so thanks for the reminder!
Quail says
+1. Daniel Tiger is great for this – we use it two years later to talk about how no one will touch your toys while you (put on PJs, eat snack, whatever interruption).
rosie says
Daniel Tiger has an episode about how you have to stop playing to go potty but your friends wait for you, if that might help.
Anonymous says
For smaller toys, our daycare has a ‘waiting table’ outside the bathroom so toys can wait while toddler uses the bathroom.
Anonymous says
Honestly, I would just wait. Try Daniel Tiger, but if it doesn’t help, I’d double down on diapers for awhile. While it’s developmentally appropriate to be trained at her age, it’s also not a problem if it takes even another 12 months. She may not be ready.
Anonymous says
Yes, my reaction when I read this was: “that’s really young!” Some young two year olds are ready, and some aren’t. If it doesn’t come fairly easily, I’d let it go for a few months and then try again.
OP says
Yeah, legit, and we’ve definitely thought about that. My motivation for keeping going is that she can easily hold her pee for a few hours and will pee within a minute once you get her to sit, so I think she is physically ready, it’s just the emotional/stubborn hump of this being a new thing she has to go do every few hours. I don’t want to turn this into a battle of wills, though, so appreciate the advice!
Anonymous says
Yeah just got over most of the hump of potty training with my almost 3 YO. I know “Oh Crap” and lots of others have the philosophy that kids should train around 2, but I don’t think they take into consideration working mom’s lives and daycare. Our daughter would pee before bath and to get stickers at home since about 2, but we delayed the full-on transition to all the time undies bc of daycare and it was fine. She got it just fine when we made the switch after 2.5 ys. You’ve got a lot of factors. Maybe wait, maybe not. The world won’t end if you wait.
Children’s Opthamologist DC says
I think last week there was a question about children’s eye doctors in DC. We just went to the eye doctors of Washington in Chevy Chase today and it went swimmingly. We saw Dr Vincente and both the doctor and nurse interacted SO well with my 2 year old. Thankfully we don’t have to go back! Just wanted to pass along the recommendation.
Legally Brunette says
I love that office. I see Dr. Teller for myself, and there is always a long line of kids to see Dr. Vincente. Pro tip, book an early morning appt if you want to avoid a long wait.
Anonymous says
We went at 10:15 and thankfully only waited 5 mins!! I’m just constantly impressed with healthcare workers who can get the job done but also keep my kid happy. FWIW though my child is reasonable well behaved in public as long as there’s copious snacks.
LB says
Oh that’s great! If you need a doctor for yourself, Dr. Teller is amazing. I have a very problematic prescription (I wear RPGs and have a very high power) and he is so so good.
Anon says
Working from home today. Husband is normally on childcare duty today, but has an appointment this afternoon so he enlisted his parents to come over and watch the toddler while I work. The amount of interfamily bickering is going to drive me insane (I can hear them through the closed office door) and the amount of supervision my husband has to provide his parents has confirmed for me (and him) that I was 100% right in insisting they cannot take her anywhere without one of us present – they wanted to take her to the zoo alone. Aside from my concern about their driving, things like lifting her to put her in the high chair or on the changing table, catching her when she runs off, and generally the physical aspects of caring for her are so far beyond them. Not to mention they keep trying to feed her things she doesn’t like (tomatoes – we’re a food is not a battelfield family) or isn’t supposed to have (fat free yogurt (and they had to reach past the baby yogurt to give it to her), despite my express instructions that she needs full fat dairy until she’s 2). Will it kill her, no, but the blatant disregard for my instructions drives me batty.
Anonymous says
On the plus side, you have someone that you can call in a pinch. Just to put it in perspective- I had this issue last week and hired a babysitter, who was as bad if not worse as ypur parents. And I had to pay ;).
I’ve found that the mindset of grandparents are grandparents, not primary caregivers really helpful. My grandparents gave me ice cream for breakfast and let me watch shows I wasn’t allowed to watch and all other kinds of stuff. And, they used to berate me about eating peas when I hated peas!! Certainly, they are not trying to blatantly disregard instructions. I bet they just think things are NBD. Just as a for instance, are you afraid LO will get lost or hurt at the zoo? Or just come home tired/cranky because grandparents didn’t follow nap schedule/didn’t feed enough snacks/made him walk when he should be carried?
Anyway, I really feel you on this. I just have 3 kids and over the years have learned more and more the value of halfway decent help and also, picking battles :-)
Anon says
Agree on the emergencies and pinch point. Right now they’re playing in the backyard which is ideal because 1) I can’t hear them and 2) I’m reasonably confident that the worst thing that will happen is that she falls off the slide onto very thick and fluffy mulch. But yes, when I have a choice about it, the concern is that she would get lost or hurt, they wouldn’t be able to get her into the carseat safely on the way home, etc. My 20 month old is on the bigger side (well over 30 pounds and correspondingly as tall), very strong (she routinely carries full milk jugs in from the groceries), has very few words (and is thus very frustrated at her inability to communicate) and is a (very fast) runner with blatant disregard for obstacles or danger (developmentally appropriate, but a lot to handle). Rereading that sentence I am realizing that “very” pretty much sums up my child.
ElisaR says
picturing a 20 month old carrying a milk jug is so cute
Wow says
I agree with this. If they are endangering your child that’s one thing, but the other stuff you need to let go. We have no screen time during the week, but when grandma comes over she insists on showing my kids a bunch of videos on my phone. I don’t say anything because at the end of the day, she derives pleasure out of doing that, the kids will live, and it’s not like she’s with us every day.
Also nothing wrong with them trying to give her a tomato — kids’ taste preferences are constantly changing and if they are better to convince her to try it, so much the better for you. Remember that they are trying to be helpful to you guys.
AnotherAnon says
Reading your post almost makes me thankful we don’t have family around to use as backup care. The bickering would set me over the edge.
Anonymous says
When my in laws are like this I try to remember that they raised DH and he turned out great.
They may also do things differently than you. Like my MIL will take kid places but usually puts her from carseat right into the stroller, and she stays in the stroller until they leave. It’s not ideal but if it means the difference of staying home vs. going to the zoo, I’d rather she gets out of the house.
Anonymous says
I can see how the zoo would make you nervous. My almost-70 parents have trouble chasing kids in public, so I get it. And I get the car seat safety thing. But I try to let go on food and screen time when family watches my child. It’s one day, she’ll be fine. I won’t let anyone watch her at a pool though because I’ve learned that no one will be as diligent about water safety as DH or myself.
Anonymous says
Agreed on letting go on food and screens. FWIW, the full fat dairy thing is very subjective. My kid is big (though by no means overweight) and our ped encouraged us to switch to low fat yogurt at 12 months. And baby yogurt normally has a lot of sugar and stuff that’s not super healthy, so there’s definitely an argument that plain low-fat yogurt is better. This does not seem like a battle worth fighting, especially with people who are giving you free childcare.
AwayEmily says
I sympathize and I get that it’s not about the yogurt or the tomatoes per se, it’s about them ignoring what you said, which makes you worry “are they also going to ignore what I said about proper use of the carseat, or not putting blankets in the baby’s crib?”
And I also get that it is possible to be super grateful for free/nearby/loving childcare, and simultaneously worried about your kid.
I don’t think there’s a “solution” to this (if you can’t tell, i deal with the same issue). The other night my mom (who lives nearby) picked the baby up from school and put him to bed. When I got back his lights were on, his diaper was half off, and he had gone to bed 45 minutes late because she got lost on the way to daycare and was late picking him up. And I am so incredibly grateful that she was able to help out, but also…it’s stressful having her babysit.
Pogo says
+1 to your first point – I took this as the OP venting about being ignored, not actually being angry that her kid got low-fat yogurt.
I’m grateful that both sets of grandparents are good rule-followers when we spell things out for them. However, my parents in particular tend to go crazy on gifts and buy totally age-inappropriate things for kiddo. I will say something like, “Wow, how cool – I will put that away for when he is a little older and can appreciate it” when I really mean “You bought him a sharp choking hazard!! He’s not even two!!”
Coach Laura says
Pogo – did you decide to go on the international transfer?
ElisaR says
paging the rag and bone simone pants lover! Nordstrom has the pants 20% off right now!