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I never thought that I would own AirPods. My first instinct is always to resist new Apple products, but I always seem to give in. The reason I gave in this time is I lost my regular set of headphones and my husband surprised me with AirPods. Since I would lose my head if it were not attached to my neck, these seem like the perfect combination of elements to get lost: three separate pieces, all the pieces are small, and I am using them every day in different locations, while out and about and usually while distracted in some way. My opposing counsel one day had this case attached to a belt loop, and I asked him where he got it and immediately ordered one. I use the carabiner to loop in my bag, so it is always in the same place. I ordered it in bright red so that I can always spot it in my bag. Hopefully this is a successful coping mechanism for my tendency to misplace things. The case is $9.95 at Amazon and is eligible for Prime shipping (and a coupon for 6% off). AirPods Case
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Sales of note for 12.5.23…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – Holiday sale up to 50% off; 5x the points on beauty for a limited time
- Ann Taylor – 40% off your purchase & extra 15% off sweaters
- Banana Republic – Up to 40% off select styles; up to 40% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything & extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – Extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off your purchase with code
- Lands’ End – Up to 70% off everything; free shipping (readers love the cashmere)
- Loft – 50% off your purchase with code (ends 12/5)
- Summersalt – Up to 60% off select styles & free scarf with orders $125+ (this reader-favorite sweater blazer is down to $75)
- Talbots – 40% off your regular-price purchase; extra 50% off all markdowns
- Zappos – 34,000+ women’s sale items! Check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kid shoe brands on sale.
Kid/Family Sales
- Crate&kids – Free shipping sitewide; up to 50% off toy + gift event; free monogramming for a limited time only (order by 12/15)
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off your purchase with code
- Pottery Barn Kids – Up to 50% off toys, furniture & gifts
- Graco – Holiday savings up to 35% off; sign up for texts for 20% off full-price item
- Walmart – Up to 25% off top baby gifts; big savings on Delta, Graco, VTech, Fisher-Price & more
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Home Bounce Houses says
Anyone have experience with at-home bounce houses? We’re considering one for our almost-three year old. Do they tear all the time or work okay? Any brands that you’d recommend? Right now, I have my eye on a Little Tikes one, mostly because they’re a brand I’m familiar with and seem to have good customer service if we have issues. Thanks!
anon says
We have that Little Tikes one. Only got it this summer but it’s been great, and friends have had and loved it too.
Home Bounce Houses says
A friend has given a similar review. I think we’re going to go for it!
Anonymous says
What “street smarts” would you want your daughter to know before going off to college in a major city? We live in a small, very safe Midwestern town where people leave their doors unlocked so I think she’s a bit naive about big cities. But I also want to make sure she knows basic stuff that would apply at any college, like pouring your drinks yourself.
Anonymous says
Be aware of your surroundings when walking around campus/the city – don’t wear headphones or talk on the phone, especially at night. Wash your hands a lot. Don’t feel obligated to respond when strangers strike up conversations.
Anonymous says
Your last sentence is a really good point. Make sure she knows she’s not obligated to be nice, or talk to strangers who talk to her (if she’s used to a friendly, safe Midwestern town she might not realize). Being nice just encourages creepy strangers.
Anon says
This. I grew up in a suburban area in the south, and went to school in Chicago. Being aware of your surroundings is the biggest point I think. I like to notice who is around me, what my potential avenues of escape are, where are the open stores and businesses, where are the campus blue lights, where are paths that people more commonly walk vs. deserted shortcut alleys, etc. For a while when I was in school there was a problem with muggings and the campus response was “walking in groups of 2 does not deter these folks, now we recommend walking in groups of 3 or 4 or take the safe ride buses”. But, she’ll figure it out pretty quickly. I always used to carry a slimmed down wallet with ID and a credit card when I went out and about, and always kept at least $40 cash in it, so that if I were mugged it was something I didn’t have to think twice about handing over. I never was, but I would say at least 50% of my friends were during my time there.
Lindsay says
I always kept one ear phone out (and one in) so I was aware of my surroundings.
Anon says
+1 I often kept headphones in but with sound off. I found strangers were less likely to approach me with the headphones in, but wanted to still be able to hear.
IO says
This. Sunglasses and headphones on the subway for all the NYC newbies. And I’ve had enough people respond to my “oops, excuse me”s that I’m pretty sure half the people (men and women!) are doing the headphones in, music off.
anon a mouse says
Don’t hang your purse on the back of your chair – always keep it on your lap or between your feet.
Turn your side mirrors in when you park on a congested street.
Use the buddy system – always make sure a friend knows where you are and will keep track if you don’t check in.
If campus has a security escort service late at night, use it!
Anonymous says
Does anyone do this? I live in nyc and always hang my purse on my chair. This just sounds paranoid.
AIMS says
I’m in nyc and I sometimes hang it on my chair or use the empty chair next to me but I also usually pay attention to my surroundings and if I’m outdoors or on the subway I tend to keep an eye on things. NY is v. safe but it still has crime like any other big city and I’ve lived here most of my life, including when you could routinely have your purse stolen if left unattended so it’s sort of just a matter of habit. I don’t think it’s a matter of being paranoid, and honestly I’m never more paranoid than when I’m somewhere really quite where no one locks doors.
Anonymous says
That’s all very nice and completely different advice than “never hang your purse on your chair” which is paranoid and will make your daughter ignore your silliness.
Anon says
I never hang my purse on my chair and I live in a borderline rural very low-crime area, you can bet I’m not doing it in an urban or busy area. It’s either in my lap or in my direct line of sight on a chair next to me, usually with a jacket or sweater over it, and if not, I usually loop the strap a time or two before setting it down.
Spirograph says
Depends on the purse. I prefer zip-top purses so I don’t have to be as conscious of what is visible and easily accessible inside of them. I would never leave my purse hanging on the back of a chair while I walked away, but maybe while I was still sitting there. The only time my wallet was stolen was out of my (open top) purse at a subway station where some “nice” guys were chatting me up and “helping” me purchase my fare card. I didn’t need help, I didn’t want help, but I was too polite to tell them to leave me the F alone. Never made that mistake again.
AwayEmily says
My wallet got stolen from my purse when it was hanging on the back of my chair (in a small midwestern town, actually!) so I never do it as a rule, regardless of where I am.
Anonymous says
None, regarding city life. She’ll figure it out and be fine. Don’t get blackout drunk.
Blueberries says
Some colleges have training on helping out classmates—not just being a bystander in the event of f’ed up behavior. So if student A is leading very drunk student B back to A’s room, step in and say something.
Even if your daughter’s college doesn’t have such training, it’s good to do this for people and to talk to friends about doing it for you (hopefully she’ll never be very drunk, but if it might happen, might as well have some defense).
Annie says
Keep your hand over your purse in crowded areas, if someone is following you go into the nearest store and wait them out, pay attention when walking around, if someone has a complicated story about losing their wallet needing train fare home you can give or not give them the money but DO NOT give them any personal info to “repay” you — it’s not going to happen and you shouldn’t give personal info out.
AIMS says
Always know where you would go for help in an emergency. My mom always stressed to me the importance of knowing the nearest 24 hr deli or all night pharmacy. To this day, if I’m walking home late I’ll pick blocks with open businesses or doorman buildings as much as is possible. It’s just second nature.
Always tell someone where you are going and check in with friends. She may not feel comfortable telling you about every new date but she should pick a friend to share where she’s going and with who.
If she’s going to be in NYC, tell her to ride in the middle subway car; that’s where the conductor sits and every platform has a sign (usually a board discreetly pinned up to the ceiling) to let you know where the conductor car will be.
Trust her intuition, always. Don’t worry about being polite. If something or someone strikes you as being off, pay attention.
Always use condoms. No matter what he says, if he is willing to not use one with you, he is willing to not use one with others.
anne-on says
Try to break your habit of making eye contact and smiling at people on the street now. It is not done in big cities and will encourage men to follow/try to engage with you. Try to develop a thousand yard stare (no eye contact and don’t let people ‘flag you down’). Walk quickly and with purpose. Starbucks and major hotels are great places to use safe-ish public restrooms. Wearing earphones in public to discourage contact is definitely done, but keep the volume low so you can hear what’s going on. Try to pay attention to your surroundings – you are more of a target with your face in your phone, than up and looking around you.
Never feel obligated to engage with beggars/men/sob stories on the streets. I give money to reputable organizations to help people but will never do this on the street as a single woman, it can be really unsafe. Most big companies have ‘open lobbies’ 24/7 so in a pinch you can go in and ask for help if needed. Ditto on mentally marking your ‘safe spots’. If there is public transit know when service ends/is spotty and plan for an uber/taxi/car ride. Try to develop a buddy system when you are out, along with the ‘no man left behind’ rule – men or women – make sure you are all accompanied home at the end of the night.
CPA Lady says
Get her the book “The Gift of Fear”. It talks about trusting yourself when you have a bad feeling about something, and how to respond assertively. It also talks about methods potential predators use to warm you up to them. Apparently 20% of attacks are from strangers and 80% of attacks are from people you know. It goes into both.
Spirograph says
+1 This is a great book, whether you live in a small town or a big city. Bad people can be anywhere, there are just more people in general in a city.
Street smarts like situational awareness and knowing safe places to go become second nature really quickly once you need them. I grew up in a small, safe, midwestern suburb, and the “not in Kansas anymore” feeling was pretty immediate when I moved to a big city, and my behavior changed accordingly. The harder part was being less friendly and more skeptical of strangers’ motives.
anon says
So as someone who moved from a Midwest town of 7,000 to NYC for college, I would say she will learn what she needs to very quickly! I would echo others above and let her know that she does not/should not smile back at people (esp men) or engage with them just because they want to. It takes a while to harden your heart a little in that regard but it is the most important. Walk into brightly lit stores if someone is following you. Ask women with dogs/kids for directions if needed. It is ok to cross the street to avoid people too – I always felt bad about that and then actually got punched in the face by someone who was mentally ill…so yeah. +1 for Gift of Fear.
Honestly, I would focus also on money smarts – I was spending a lot when I first got to the city because everything is more expensive and I was hanging out with friends whose parents had money. Maybe that isn’t a problem for your family but I was woefully under prepared in that regard.
Lyssa says
I’m trying to think of the best way to phrase this, but make sure that she knows that, if she’s going to be alone with someone, to always think about her limits and have an exit plan. Think about whether she wants to do whatever specific thing, and how she can get out in the event that he (or heck, she) doesn’t respect her limits. Make sure she’s clear that it’s always OK to say no and leave.
Frozen Peach says
#1: It is aok, or even a good idea, if someone is following you/approaches you/catcallls you on the street, to do the following:
– Turn, look them squarely in the eye.
– Yell, as loud as you can, “F off and leave me the F alone!”
Then get out your cell phone. Always know where it is when you are walking by yourself. Never go out at night or to a strange place without at least 50% cell battery.
#2: If you or a friend are s*ually assaulted on campus, do not call the campus police. Call the actual police. Don’t go to the wellness center on campus. Go to the actual hospital and get a rape kit.
TheElms says
She needs to work on her leave me the f alone face. Walking down the street with a big smile may invite a lot of unwanted attention that she might not know how to or feel comfortable responding to. If she can master the face she’ll be left alone more often.
anne-on says
+1 – I’ve mastered my resting b face and thousand yard stare (you cannot make eye contact with me unless I want you to) which really helps when walking around.
Anonymous says
What have been the best toys for on the plane with your young toddlers? I have a crawling 11-month old who I need to keep busy for 5 hours there and back. I want to get a few new toys to pull out when she is getting antsy but most things she likes lately are pretty big. I got those TOMY eggs, but what else do you recommend?
Anonymous says
At that age, my child could spend a good chunk of time putting paint samples or cards of some sort (flash cards, playing cards) into an envelope.
Anonymous says
I don’t have kids yet but everyone seems to mention bringing a tissue box stuffed with scarves or other things she can pull out/shove back in?
Anonymous says
Yess my 11 month old is obsessed with tissues. A tissue box can entertain her for HOURS.
S says
The thing that worked best for us was small finger puppets (from amazon) in a make up bag that she could take out and put back in the bag. Post its bought us a few extra minutes and cups with one ice cube in it from the stewardess was pretty fascinating.
AwayEmily says
I think you just never know what random thing will occupy your kid. When mine was that age I kept a little basket on the console table for the week or so prior to airplane trips where I put random crap (literally sometimes trash) that I thought might interest her — a couple of paper-wrapped straws, a spare set of keys from our old house, a pack of post-it notes, some binder clips, etc. Then I dumped it all in a bag to take with me (along with some actual toys, of course).
Anonymous says
This is a great idea. She currently loves trash, especially anything from the recycling bin. WHY
Anonymous says
RIP SkyMall
EB0220 says
I know, my kids LOVED SkyMall on the plane
Anonymous says
SNACKS
Anon says
Some sets that last about 20-30 minutes each (and also involve snacks, which then take up more time):
Play with playdough.
Stick playdough on seatback table, and poke uncooked spaghetti into it to make spikes.
Try to stack cheerios onto spaghetti spikes.
Eat Cherrios.
Get two empty cups and one ice cube (and napkins) from the flight attendant.
Pour the ice cube back and forth into the cups.
After ice cube melts, pour the water back and forth.
Practice drinking the water from the cups.
Get out goldfish. Pretend the cups are oceans.
Pour goldfish back and forth.
Eat goldfish.
Bring out mini marshmallows and pretzels sticks.
Stick the pretzels into the marshmallows, pretend they’re people. Make up stories and dance.
Connect more sticks to make a square and triangle and the first letter of their name.
Connect even more sticks to make 3D objects like a cube or pyramid.
Eat marshmallows and pretzel sticks.
Also have videos and photos on your phone/iPad that you can pull out in an emergency, even if you hate screentime.
HSAL says
This topic comes up every so often here, but I have to say this might be the best list of suggestions I’ve ever seen. I’m saving this, despite no plans to take kids on a plane any time soon.
Anonymous says
Thanks! I think this will be useful for the next couple years even.
shortperson says
a roll of painters tape, or masking tape if you dont want to make a special trip to the store. one roll of tape occupied my then 11 month old for probably 40% of a flight to europe and various restaurants, trains, etc. while we were there.
anon says
(Rant) My husband has been “sick” for the last week and a half, and is, frankly, constantly complaining about headaches and sinus issues and not getting a good night’s sleep. Last night he came home early from work with what seemed like a migraine to me (he’s never officially had one before), and went straight to bed. I tended to him as best I could, as much as I’d expect him to tend to me when I’m feeling horrible.
He took the day off work today, and I told him he needs to go to the little clinic (doesn’t have a PCP since we moved 2 years ago and he hasn’t put in the work to find someone who is taking new patients.) I’m 37 weeks pregnant and I’m dreading the idea of him not being at 100% for the birth of our baby. I’m also dreading the “I didn’t sleep well” situation when we have a baby who needs to be fed every two hours. I’m sure baby will wait to come until he’s on the mend, right?!
AwayEmily says
uuggghhhhh I have been there (well, not while 37 weeks pregnant). So many men just haven’t learned to FAKE IT. Like, yes, fine, you are feeling sick. But you know what? In this particular circumstance, with a very pregnant and somewhat anxious partner, perhaps consider this: suck it up and pretend like you’re fine, just like women always do.
(obviously I also think this goes both ways — it’s unfortunate that women are socialized to minimize their pain/discomfort, just as it’s unfortunate that men are socialized to whine their handsome pathetic faces off about it).
Anonymous says
Oh boy– yes he needs to go to the clinic not only to get healthy for baby’s arrival but also to get on antibiotics asap if what he has is contagious. You can’t afford to catch what he has right now. I’m 30 weeks pregnant and basically guilt tripped my husband into going to urgent care over the weekend just in case he was contagious (big surprise, he was and needed antibiotics). Also please please stop “tending to him”– keep your distance until you confirm he’s not contagious. Fingers crossed you stay healthy!
Anonymous says
34 weeks preggo and just starting to feel so over it! Any tips for these last few weeks? I’m impatient to meet my daughter!
Also, I am reading The Discontented Little Baby Book, which I’m really enjoying. Anyone read it? It’s so different from other baby books I’ve read and basically theorizes (with a lot of evidence cited) that most baby problems are caused by feeding issues. She speculates that most cases of reflux and allergies are just feeding problems in disguise. She’s against white noise machines, burping (overstimulates baby) and even swaddling. And she cites a lot of well-done studies! So interesting.
It’s made me want to really resolve BFing issues from the beginning. Any BFing resources you recommend?
KateMiddletown says
Just find a way to get and stay busy! My energy has been waning but definitely comes in spurts, so we reorganized the storage room in the basement this weekend and I keep coming up with more projects to do… ah!
Anonymous says
It’s really hard to figure out why a baby is upset. It is often equally possible that the baby is understimulated or overstimulated, hungry or full or gassy, doesn’t like that noise, thinks it is too quiet, finds the sensation of bowel movements horrifying, etc. (And then when they start talking and have tantrums about the fact that you used the blue cup instead of the red cup they just broke you start to think that maybe they have always been unreasonable anyway). Books have a way of saying, do XYZ and then everything will be fine, but in reality, you can’t remember how to do X, the baby hates Y and Z, the baby does something the book says is impossible, and your other book says you MUST NEVER DO X,Y, or GOD FORBID, Z. Really, take all baby care books with a grain of salt. If you can maintain detached interest, great, but I found that difficult once keeping a baby alive and semi happy was my job.
To answer your actual question, get recommendations for a good lactation consultant, ideally one that your insurance will cover and who plays nicely with your pediatrician. Find a breast feeding support group. Find a nearby store that sells pump parts, nipple shields, and other accouterments. Consider taking a class.
lawsuited says
The best resources for breastfeeding are human ones that can interact directly with you and baby. Look up breastfeeding clinics (and their hours) in your area and ask for recommendations for lactation consultants from your network.
I agree with Anonymous at 10:51 that all baby books assume a level of uniformity across babies that makes the advice in them difficult to implement. My favourite books are the ones that provide possible explanations for baby behaviour a la “don’t worry if your baby does X because it is very normal and usually related to A or B” so that you can manage your own expectations, but the books that suggest you can get a baby to by X if you do Y never seem to take into account the many variables impacting the million babies and parents that might end up reading that book.
avocado says
Another problem with baby books is that they tend to state, or at least imply, that you can fix the problem if you do exactly the right thing and try hard enough. Which only adds to new-mom guilt and anxiety. Some baby issues defy all explanation and can only be “fixed” by waiting them out. If your baby happens to be one of those that just needs to scream for two hours every evening but you believe it’s your fault because the books told you that you ought to be able to soothe baby, it’s even harder to bear the screaming.
mascot says
Yes! I’m a type-a crazy researcher that often drives myself crazy trying to find that one perfect answer about my kid’s behavior (yeah, I’m a lawyer why do you ask). But, as my very kind LC reminded me, the baby hasn’t read any of those books so let’s not hold ourselves to this standard. Parent and nurture the child that you have in front of you.
And yes to in person support for nursing. I saw an LC. My friend loved her moms bf-ing support group hosted by a local hospital. Being able to talk it through with someone and get hands on positioning is very helpful and can fix some of the common issues.
Anon says
See also my colicky kid for whom nothing worked and we just had to wait out 4 freaking months of 6+ hours a day of inconsolable screaming. Noise. Cancelling. Headphones.
Anonymous says
Please chill. I’m sorry, but just no. Not all issues are feeding issues and it’s sinply not always possible to “really resolve BFing issues from the beginning.” Babies are hard and they cry and they’re all different and you figure it out. Put the books down and chill.
AwayEmily says
Counterpoint: if you are a person who likes to read books/research, then by all means do it! But I would be hesitant to rely too much on any ONE approach/method. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket when it comes to sleeping/feeding/discipline/etc. Read a bunch of things, from lots of different perspectives, and then once the baby gets here, you can choose what strategies work best for your situation and your baby.
Anonymous says
Hmmm…sometimes its definitely allergies. I’d be a little skeptical about this book
Anonymous says
I took a really simple breast feeding class before the baby was born (it was only an hour or 90 mins). It was so helpful because it made me feel like I was in control. They really talked about what a latch looked like. So even though the baby wasn’t there I felt like I had a starting point. I would highly recommend it as a low stress / cost / time way to help yourself on your way.
my friend also really advocated to see a lactation consultant if you can (post birth). I pushed for an appointment. In retrospect, the little guy would have figured it out – but you can feel so incompetent.
GCA says
On the care and feeding of babies: 1. Not all issues are feeding issues. 2. Not all babies will have feeding issues. 3. Books may be about the mean behavior and median child observed by the authors (or tbh, they may merely be the authors’ opinions…in general, IMO such baby books belong in a nice, comforting bonfire) but how each issue is resolved (like everything else) will depend on your individual child. (I joke that kid 1 sleep trained *us*. We are now unbreakable.)
There is no magic bullet for setting yourself up for BFing success ahead of time, but the big, encyclopedic resource, with lots of evidence you can read for yourself, is Kellymom. Lactation consultants are nice to have on speed dial if insurance covers the service, but can be hit or miss; the few I encountered have said different things (none noticed my daughter’s tongue tie, a sharp-eyed nurse spotted it). Familiarize yourself with useful items and services – an LC, hospital-grade pump rental, nipple shields, soothing gel pads, different bottle types, APNO cream – and also signs and symptoms of common issues such as mastitis and thrush.
Also, I totally get feeling antsy about the last few weeks of pregnancy. Make some freezer meals? Meal plan? Watch a movie or go on a date with spouse? Meet up with friends? Take evening yoga classes? Otherwise do things that you won’t be able to once the baby arrives?
Anonymous says
“She speculates that most cases of reflux and allergies are just feeding problems in disguise.”
Yeah, this is pure BS. There are documented causes of reflux and allergies that have nothing to do with feeding. I was exclusively breastfed for 6 months (and BF for 2 years total) and I have terrible asthma and eczema, as do my mother, her father and her father’s father. It’s clearly genetic.
Also you can’t “resolve” BFing issues before you meet your baby. Your baby may have tongue tie or whatever and not know how to latch. Definitely once the baby is born, try to get going with breastfeeding as soon as possible and get help from lactation consultants if it’s not working well. But it’s not like you can just read a book and learn how to do it perfectly. Every baby and mom is different and has a different experience with it. Also, I’d add that LCs can be super judgy about certain things like nipple shields – mine was absolutely against them, but my baby couldn’t latch without one. She’s been BFed for 11 months and counting and it never would have worked for us without a shield. I guess I could have exclusively pumped for her, but I don’t know that I would have had the stamina to do that. Bottom line, breastmilk is good no matter how you get it (direct latch, shield, pump, etc.)
IHeartBacon says
If there is a La Leche League group in your area, see if they have local
meetings you can attend. When I was in a group, pregnant women started coming during their last weeks of pregnancy. My group was very welcoming and they weren’t militant about exclusively breastfeeding. One mom, who became my good friend, only pumped and another mom combo-fed. My baby had an unreliable latch at first and I found he would latch best when I spent time with other breastfeeding moms who didn’t hesitate to nurse in front of each other. It was a strange phenomenon, but the days I spent with the group were the easiest nursing days.
KateMiddletown says
+1 Especially if you’ve never been around breastfeeding women, it is so helpful to see it in effect. (And not every LLL chapter is adamant-EBF, especially the ones which have evening meetings/cater to working moms!)
Preggo says
First time mom, due in November. We’re big travelers but for the first time in forever have no trip to look forward to, because of the baby. Also exciting, but I have the travel bug.
I’m fantasizing about going to Martinique in late February/early March. Renting an Air BnB with porch and an extra room for baby, who would be 4ish months. It’s about a 4.5 hour flight and we have been before (loved it). I envision us renting a car, spending a few hours at the beach each day (with breaks), eating a lot of meals at the apartment and just relaxing/reading/drinking wine/playing Scrabble.
I know a lot will depend on baby’s temprement, but is this totally far-fetched? Air BnBs there tend to book way in advance so I’d like to plan it if it’s at all possible.
Anonymous says
My son had a painful 4 month sleep regression that involved going from 1 wake-up a night to 3. It’s a thing. He also would not nap for more than about 45 minutes at a time at that age. So the whole “just relaxing/reading/drinking wine/playing Scrabble” thing sounds far-fetched to me. And babies under about 6 months old are not supposed to wear sunscreen (IIRC), so keeping the baby out of the sun much of the day may be a priority. If you are nursing you will have to watch the wine and possibly your diet. You’ll be taking care of a small baby in a different place. That could be wonderful, but keep your expectations low. I personally would have preferred going somewhere where I did not have to cook and clean so much, and where I could go in a pool at the house while the baby napped while using a monitor.
Anonymous says
PS – if you can stand to wait until closer to 6 months, I think that is a better time to travel. Naps tend to start consolidating, sleep improves, baby can sit up but isn’t crawling or mobile yet, starting solid foods, etc.
Anonymous says
Just as a counterpoint, my DD slept a lot better at 4-5 months than 6 months, and solid foods made traveling a lot harder, because we either had to pack a lot of pouches or find something suitable for her to eat at our destination. It was so much easier when my body was her food source. A lot of 4-5 month olds can sit well with support, and by 6 months many kids are starting to get mobile or at least trying (and getting frustrated when they can’t).
mascot says
Traveling with children is not a vacation. It is a trip. Are you going to be ok when baby hates the sand, the heat, the sun and will only nap while at the vacation house that you travelled a long way to get to and spent a chunk of change on? Also, 4.5 months is prime time for baby’s first cold/ear infection/random childhood illness. I’d probably look for a better staycation option.
Anonymous says
Totally disagree – traveling with kids can be a vacation, you just have to plan it right. You can’t hit multiple museums in one day and have a 9 pm dinner at a Michelin-starred restaurant. But she wants to hang out at the beach, drink wine, and play Scrabble. That’s totally doable with a baby, and there are lots of us who would rather hang out in the Caribbean than hang out at home, especially when the weather’s gross at home. Speaking from experience, the Caribbean can be super relaxing with a baby!
A 4 month old is way too young to hate the sand. You can just wear them in a sling or infant carrier, they won’t even get anywhere near the sand. Flights with 4 months olds will likely be a dream (they’ll sleep the whole way and maybe cry for 10-15 minutes on descent if their ears hurt). It’s honestly such an easy age to travel – you just throw them on your back and do whatever you want. You just have to be back at the hotel for naps and an early bedtime. An 18 month old is a different story, although we’ve had some pretty fun vacations with a toddler too.
Anon says
+1. This has been my experience too. Once a kid is 1 or certainly 2, you really need to build some kid-friendly activities into the itinerary: playgrounds, children’s museums, and lots of time at the hotel for solid crib naps. But infants will go along with whatever the parents want to do, and often they can sleep in an Ergo or stroller so you don’t even have to spend that much time at the hotel. We took our daughter to Hawaii when she was 6.5 months and it was one of the best vacations we’ve ever had. We went to the beach in the early morning and late afternoon to minimize sun exposure and avoid crowds and during the day we hung out at the shaded hotel pool, went out for yummy meals and snacks, and lay on the lanai while she napped. It was awesome.
Redux says
I agree with this. We fly a lot because we live two plane rides away from our families, and early infancy was by far the easiest. If you are an experienced traveler with low expectations of what your vacation will look like (which it sounds like describes you) 4-mo is a great time to travel.
Generally, I think it’s all in the outlook and expectations. We are doing an overseas trip with a 5-yo and a 2-yo and some people are like YOURE CRAZY while others are like, oh how lovely.
NYCer says
Late as usual too, but I definitely agree with this too. Just go! You will have a great time. 4 months is a great time to travel.
Anonymous says
I’m also a first time mom due in November and am planning to take a trip in late March/ early April before I go back to work from maternity leave. For a lot of reasons including a lot of bad coincidences, I haven’t had a chance to take a real week-long vacation from work for 3 years. I plan to take a week away from home with my husband and baby before heading back to work. I have a close friend who went to Montana (Glacier National Park and visiting family) with her daughter at around that age and found it totally doable. I personally would not book very far in advance because what exact trip we take will depend a lot on the temperament of my baby.
J says
I agree that waiting until 6 months would be ideal from a sun protection standpoint. But then I am all over this. I can’t tell you how many times I wish we had traveled more in the first year. As long as we were holding our child, we could get her to take reasonably good naps, whereas when she got older, she definitely needed her nap routine. Go do things now when your child will sleep in your arms under an umbrella on the beach or in her stroller while you eat dinner at an adult hour instead of 5:30. Don’t wait until you’re tied down to a decent nap in a crib/pack and play or until your child is mobile enough to freak out because she’d rather walk than ride and touch everything in the store. Actually, the more I think about it, the more I support this earlier in combination with a solid sun protection plan.
As the other posters said, seriously have zero expectations other than loving on your baby and not being at your house. If those are your only goals, enjoy this opportunity to share your passion for travel with your baby.
Anonymous says
4-5 months was the easiest travel age for us. Baby was sleeping well, but not mobile at all yet and very content to be held or sleep in a carseat on the plane. 6 months was tougher – she had some sleep issues (due to either gas from solids or a sleep regression) I think. Her sleep got back on track around 7 months but by then she was scooting and trying to crawl, and was tougher to handle on a plane (we did it though).
I say go for it! We’re going to the Caribbean in December when she’ll be 10 months and we’re going to Europe next summer so definitely not planning to stop traveling!
Anonymous says
I travelled with my first at 3 mo and again at 6 mo and he was great both times. He slept in the carrier for the majority of the flight (4.5 hours and 6 hours respectively), and napped in the car and in the carrier as we went about our business. Just get on getting baby a passport as soon as possible after they’re born!
shortperson says
we took major international trips when each baby was three months old and they were truly vacations. we also did this because i cannot take true, predictable, vacations as a biglaw associate. the second one we were confident, so we booked six months in advance and were able to use miles to fly business class, the first time i’ve been able to plan enough in advance to use miles while working in biglaw. anyway, do it, it will be great. then dont plan anything else for a while. our baby was a dream traveler at 3months and we just did a short driving vacation to a hotel w her at 11 months and she would. not. sleep. we are mostly homebound for at least another year. (see also, biglaw.)
Anonymous says
How long was the trip? My 10 month old always has trouble sleeping in strange places for the first day or two, but usually settles in by the third day. So it may seem counter-intuitive, but a 7 day international trip is actually easier and more “worth it” than a local weekend getaway, because she’ll actually adjust and start sleeping whereas a weekend getaway she just won’t sleep at all.
Move In-House? says
Hi all. I am an associate attorney at a firm with about 35 attorneys. I have been there for 7 years and am at the point where I am trying to figure out what is next. I feel like it is time to further my career but don’t have a lot of passion for rainmaking or business development. So I am starting to research and learn about in house positions. Can folks who have moved in-house from a firm give me an idea of how their duties and reaponsibilities differed? Any advice on rising up to an executive level position from in-house counsel? Thanks in advance!
Anonymous says
Try the main s!te; I think you’ll get more traction there.
BettySmith says
This! I am from a “ nice” midwest state and multiple times I have witnessed girlfriends being reflexively nice friendly and polite to the point that it could be interpreted as flirtatious to complete creeps- like touchy wasted men at bars etc. We were recently at a neighborhood brewery with babies/toddlers and an older man came up and started talking about how cute our girls were and how he wanted to hold them and take pictures and half the group of women was being friendly! The other two of us were like, umm goodbye and disengaged. And we are 32!
AnotherAnon says
What are some easy kid lunch ideas for an 18 month old? My 18 month old is starting Montessori school in October. They provide a snack but I need to pack a lunch for him. Obviously sandwiches, chicken nuggets and mac n cheese would be easiest but he doesn’t really eat “normal” kid food. He mostly eats fruit and veggies, and stuff that needs refrigeration like yogurt and hummus. I will check with the school but I’m not sure they will reheat or refrigerate food for him. Just looking for ideas. Thanks!
anon. says
My kid will reliably eat a veggie burger for lunch even when all else fails.
Quesadilla (we melt cheese and black beans b/c if I put chicken in he doesn’t eat it)
Frozen waffle with sunflower butter
Anonymous says
That sounds like normal kid food to me. Can’t you put it in a lunch cooler with an ice pack? I’d do yogurt, string cheese, fruit, hummus, applesauce. Probably pouches (either store bought or your own). Whole grain crackers. Nut butters on various vehicles.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We put an icepack in with our son’s lunchbox to keep food cold, at least for a few hours – we do yogurt, fruits, pasta and meatballs, mac n cheese, rice and various veggies. Sometimes it’s just leftovers from the night before’s dinner that he didn’t touch.
AnotherAnon says
I love the idea of serving leftovers from what he didn’t eat the night before! Thank you.
Anonymous says
For my kid, I’d pack cheese cubes, rolled up lunch meat, cut of fruit and veggies, goldfish crackers, and a yoghurt cup or tube. I pack a yoghurt cup for myself to eat with lunch and don’t refrigerate it so I’d be cool with the same for my kid.
anne-on says
I’ve said this before, but I found it easiest to have a formula – protein, carb, fruit, veggie (or heck, double fruit). As long as we hit all of them we were happy. Proteins included shredded chicken or pork, crumbled ground beef, sun butter, chickpeas/hummus, or sunbutter. Carbs were usually crackers of some sort but we also did ‘breakfast for lunch’ with turkey bacon, sunbutter, and whole wheat pancakes/waffles. Fruit was generally one container of ‘sauce’ (I made apple sauce/pumpkin puree/berry puree/etc.) a pouch is fine too! And then one ‘whole’ fruit or veggie cut up small – frozen peas, frozen carrots, bananas, apple pieces/etc.
The formula (with a list of options on the fridge) also made it easy to say ‘here, you pack lunch’ to other sitters/grandparents/my husband.
anon says
My kids eat yogurt for lunch almost every single day. I just pack it with a cold pack. Or I buy plain yogurt and dish it out and send with frozen mixed berries (I microwave it and mush it so it’s “compote”) or granola (depending on the kid). I send with a fruit, crackery type things (goldfish, etc.) and a small treat. I will also put little silicone muffin tins in a tupperware container (Ziplock medium square holds 4, small rectangle holds two), and use them to hold things like mini carrots, raspberries, grapes, a cutie etc.
KateMiddletown says
Are belly bands worth it? I’m looking at the 2-in-1 for during (9th month) and after, but wondering if the “waist-trainer” type ones actually work to shrink anything postpartum (2nd preg.)
KateMiddletown says
This is the one I’m considering: https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/belly-bandit-2-in-1-pregnancy-post-pregnancy-belly-wrap/4624531?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&color=black
GCA says
I haven’t used them to shrink anything, but the maternity BellaBands still work to hold up unbuttoned jeans, because my waist sure as heck doesn’t fit into my regular jeans at 6 weeks pp :) however, I’ve been doing a bunch of postnatal yoga, and I find it really does help with core stability and strength.
IHeartBacon says
I used this one and I feel like it was really effective at pushing everything back into its place: https://www.bellefit.com/product/girdlezipper/
I couldn’t get it completely zipped up at first, but as the days and weeks wore on, I was able to fasten it all the way and then eventually it was too large to be effective anymore. I wore it every single day morning and night for about 6 weeks. The only time I took it off was to shower. I only washed it about 3 times because I wore undies underneath. After six weeks, I started seeing a postpartum physical therapist to strengthen my core, which made even more of a difference. The best way I can describe it all: the girdle kept my skin from getting saggy as my insides shrunk back and the physical therapy made my core muscles strong again.
Everlong says
Has anyone tried cryotherapy? I’m a runner and I’ve been dealing with a little pain in my knee that I would love to magically heal before an upcoming race. I’m tempted to give cryotherapy a try but it sounds so questionable to me. Thanks!
GCA says
Fellow runner here – I haven’t done whole-body cryotherapy, but I’ve certainly done the RICE thing for sprains and strains, if that’s what you mean. What kind of knee pain is it? Have you tried dry needling, Graston, etc (depending on type of injury)? Also, good luck for that race! Maybe post on main s!te for more input.
Everlong says
Thanks! I’m giving whole-body a try at a place that throws you in their dunk tank. It’s IT band related, definitely a RICE situation, but I’m liking the idea of trying something new.
Aly says
Questions to ask for interviewing new babysitter. I’m pregnant and exhausted and parent solo over half the time, so I need help. Is there anything you’d ask a babysitter different than day care? Anything that was quirky but helpful? I’m honestly blanking on what I asked before…
Anonymous says
I think with a babysitter you need to be more focused on exploring her judgment and preconceived values, since she’ll be alone with your kid unsupervised. I asked mine some hypotheticals (what do you do if another kid gets aggressive on the playground? what if my kid gets aggressive on the playground? what would you do if my kid got hurt (as in like a broken bone/needed stitches not an ouchie)?) and for examples have there been times where you personally disagreed with how your employer was handling a childcare/rearing issue? did you address it, if so, how?
You’ll also want to meet in person ideally with at least one prior employer and check a few more references by phone.
Anonymous says
http://www.parkslopeparents.com/Nanny-101/nanny101intro.html
http://www.parkslopeparents.com/index.php/50-advice-childcare-and-education/childcare-advice/440-hiring-a-babysitter-part-3-on-the-job#questions
Maternity Workwear Help! says
I’m about 3.5 months pregnant (due mid-March), and just got selected to roll out a major training program for a number of high-profile clients. Normally, this is sheath dress + blazer territory for me, and I’d like to stick with the same basic uniform, but am having a hard time finding non-jersey dress options. Any suggestions for stores to shop or brands to look for that carry good non-jersey work dresses for preggos? Preferably not A-line cut? (Ideally looking for something that will work for most of the 2d trimester, and willing to spend $$$ for the right item, since I will be doing a lot of these presentations over the next two months.) Thanks!
anne-on says
Seraphine, rosie pope (esp. if you are close enough to try on there) and Ingrid and Isabel were my ‘nice’ pregnancy clothes. I’d also just suck it up and go to either a big Macys (their maternity section usually has Seraphone) or a big Pea in the Pod and try on a bunch of things. If you’re by a big city you may want to call around to some second hand stores, a lot of the ones that carried kid’s things also had maternity sections. Good luck!
Depending on how you carry, you may be able to get away with non maternity blazers. I carried almost entirely in front like a basketball and wore my pre-pregnancy blazers open with no problem up until 6 months when my chest got too large. Trust me, you’ll get a pass when visibly pregnant!
Maternity Workwear Help! says
Thanks! I am doing ok so far with one-size-up blazers, but they definitely look more polished with intentionally contrasting dresses, rather than trying to make a “suit” out of mismatched pieces. I have a free afternoon in NYC tomorrow (that I was going to use for bookstore browsing), it sounds like it might be a good idea to take myself on a shopping trip.
anne-on says
I would highly recommend the 34th street Macy’s, they have a surprisingly good selection of maternity wear. And yes, the Rosie Pope store though $$$ is worth a visit if you need something really really nice and polished. And her stuff does wear like iron!
KateMiddletown says
+1 Seraphine. I wish i had invested in one earlier on in the pregnancy!
Annie says
+2 on Seraphine.
Anonymous says
I wore maternity dresses to work all through pregnancy. I did not own maternity work pants. So, coming from experience, if you want non-jersey work dresses, you’ll be searching a very long time. Part of the point of maternity clothes is that they stretch. Suiting material dresses don’t stretch.
Maternity Workwear Help! says
Is there better quality jersey out there that I’m missing? Everything I come across is barely acceptable for casual Friday in my workplace, let alone a major presentation to an important client. Believe me, I get that stretch is necessary, but this isn’t the kind of environment where I will get a “pass” on wearing informal clothing, even pregnant.
KateMiddletown says
Gap has a really nice wrap dress (also converts to nursing) but I agree most jersey maternity dresses are VERY maternity and you don’t “get a pass” until you’re visibly showing (vs early pregnancy might be an extra burrito kind of thing.) Esp now that they’re all “bodycon” look (aka not a-line.)
You might just want to size up on something ponte/stretchy business-y fabric for now. You’ll probably need some larger clothes to transition with when you start working again anyway.
Anonymous says
Honestly, if you need suiting-level formal dress, you should look at maternity skirt and/or pant suits.
shortperson says
i got a maternity theory suit at pea in the pod. not available online. it was $700 but it was gorgeous. wore with rosie pope shirts for important court days. maybe that would be up your alley. pea in the pod also has some gorgeous silk shirts from joie and the like.
shortperson says
you could try the mm lafleur showroom in nyc. they have some designs they claim are maternity friendly. also, my isabella olivier dress was jersey but very high quality and dress-work appropriate with a blazer. i also did a lot of rosie pope shirts with jcrew toothpick maternity pants (rip).
KateMiddletown says
ON pixie maternity are a cheap knockoff of J Crew’s maternity ones. (Size up – they shrink even if you drip dry and my calves swell so they have been a little tight since 7mos)
Redux says
This doesn’t help your search directly, but check out Attorney General of NY hopeful (lost in the primary) Zephyr Teachout’s pregnant candidate wardrobe. Link to follow.
Redux says
http://time.com/5357728/zephyr-teachout-pregnant-new-york-attorney-general-race/
Marshmallow says
I’m a little late in the day but if you’re still checking– I’m also due in March and have needed to wear a suit during the awkward “extra burrito” phase. Try the Everlane “Easy pant” and matching Goweave blazer. The pant is a wool suiting fabric but with an elastic waist. I don’t mind the more casual look of a front tuck showing the elastic waist, but with the right shirt you don’t have to tuck in and you can hide the elastic. Runs very TTS and at this stage I’m still fitting my pre-pregnancy size in both the pants and blazer.
A trip to MMLF is definitely worth it. Also try the Of Mercer “Dupont” dress.
KateM says
Are there any online forums or ideally moms’ groups (organized through FB or the like) similar to corporettemoms? Everyone uses the comments here like a forum, but I feel like it would be much easier to actually have a forum to get to know folks and for asking these qs… is that weird? Would others find a forum like that useful?
For what it’s worth, I’m a member of multiple local and online moms groups but always feel like I don’t quite fit in. Many are filled with SAHMs or moms w/ part time jobs, etsy businesses, and retail jobs which I don’t mean to denigrate at all (being a SAHM seriously sounds like the hardest job on earth), but which are just different from my experience as an attorney with multiple grad degrees, running a large team, and for whom a 60 hr work week is very normal. In particular, I’d love to have the opportunity to make connections to folks like those who are on Corporette Moms locally. Does something like this exist already?
anne-on says
Um, yes please! There has got to be a way to do one of these on FB or slack or something, right?
Marshmallow says
I’d also love to find something like this and it just doesn’t seem to exist.
Anonymous says
I have a 40 hour job that doesn’t
Anonymous says
I have a 40 hour job that doesn’t require a grad degree, so definitely not in the same situation as you, but I’d love something like this. I don’t know of a moms group in my area that doesn’t meet during normal business hours. And my baby doesn’t go to daycare so I don’t know any other local working moms.
IO says
I’ve never found one. Every parenting forum I’ve ever seen just devolves into screaming about vaccinations, sleep training and breastfeeding. (Or are organized along those lines and police them).
But if you f ind one, let us know!
KateM says
For what it’s worth, none of the other mom groups I’m part of have devolved into screaming… Yet. The main issue is more of just having a different lifestyle (and thus a different set of challenges) than the vast majority of moms in other groups. That said, I’m in greater Boston, so I know there are tons of other lawyer/doctor/business women moms out there… I just don’t know where to find them!
AnoninBigLaw says
For similar substance/supportiveness to the discussions here, I’ve had much better luck with the moms facebook groups that are through alumni groups from college/grad school. (I’m in two of them for different schools.)
Maybe see if your school has an alums moms group?
First world problem says
I am up for partner next year at my biglaw firm and my husband is in a similar position in his industry. Our kids are 1 and 3. We have an au pair and a housekeeper, but I am increasingly frustrated at the housekeeper. She comes three hours a day, five days a week, and we pay her $25/hr plus employer taxes etc., which is a pretty big chunk of change even for our high-income family. But she is mobility challenged, extraordinarily slow, not very smart and doesn’t exhibit good judgment. It took her the entire three hours yesterday to fold five baskets of laundry (not put them away) and do breakfast dishes. She can’t do anything that requires physical exertion, standing on a step stool, or using the computer, which is essentially everything (we already have a weekly housecleaner).
We live in an area where it is almost impossible to find reasonable household help at a reasonable cost, particularly English-speaking household help. Agencies won’t help us because we aren’t offering enough hours (apparently 15 hrs/week isn’t enough; we need to offer at least 4 hrs/day for an agency to work with us). It took me two years (not an exaggeration) to find someone who was willing to essentially do chores on the books for us.
Any advice for how I do a test run to see if our household can function without the housekeeper? I am worried that if I fire her, I will suddenly realize all of the little things that she does that make our house work better, but we will be SOL. Or anything else that I am not thinking of? I am not sure whether I am asking for advice or just venting. I feel frustrated and trapped at the same time.
anon says
Tell her you’re going on vacation for a week?
OP says
She told us she doesn’t take vacation – we’ve committed to paying her every week, whether we are home or not.
Redux says
Have you told her what specifically you need from her? Before the nuclear option of firing her I hope you will talk to her about your expectations. Make a very explicit list of what you expect to be done in the three hours she is there every day. Because of her limitations there might be things on the list she cannot do, so you’ll have to decide whether those things are deal-breakers, or if you can figure out some other way (like the au pair does those tasks, or you do them). If you haven’t had this talk with her (or haven’t had it recently) it’s possible she’s folding laundry for three hours because she isn’t sure what to do.
OP says
Thank you! That is a good thought, but I’ve actually taken the time to come up with a very long list of long-term projects – a project in itself, because she needs a lot of direction on each one. So that can’t be it.
She really is incredibly slow. Sometimes I am home when she is working and I can’t watch – I am literally at least three times faster than she is. But it’s a good point that I should probably ask her to confirm that the laundry was the only thing she did yesterday. She is very sensitive, and I need to make sure I can ask it in a way that doesn’t sound accusatory.
Anonymous says
Maybe have a master (or daily or weekly or whatever works best) to-do or check list that she can cross off when she finishes a task going forward? If she is sensitive, it might be best to just let the past issues go but monitor going forward.
Redux says
Well long-term projects are very different from daily tasks. I know I myself have trouble chipping away at long terms projects until I have a deadline (I’m a lawyer). I was thinking more like the to-do list that Anonymous^ suggests. I.e., Daily: Make beds, tidy rooms, wash dishes, wipe countertops, sweep floors; Weekly: change linens, wash/fold/put away laundry, mop floors, take out trash and recycling, etc. It might be a good exercise for you, too, to see what specifically you wish she would do that she isn’t capable or willing to do, whether you could get on without her, and frankly, give her the dignity of fixing the problems that she can fix.
Anonymous says
How much more would the 4 hours per day through an agency be? I’d be really tempted to just go with that and delegate more to the new person. Especially as it sounds like at least one of you will be getting a pay increase soon.
OP says
Yeah, this has crossed my mind, too. Even if we hired someone for 3 days/week rather than the 5 days/week we currently have.
Anonymous says
This is what I was about to suggest– get someone from the agency for 4 hrs/day 3-4 days/week. It sounds like your current housekeeper is not a good fit.
Anonymous says
That was my thought re getting help from an agency–switch to four hours/day with fewer days per week. It may make the person more efficient, too.
anne-on says
I’d go for the agency in a heart beat. Especially if they can give you someone who can also cook for you. We love our au pair but if I worked out of the home I would totally spring for someone who could cook for the ENTIRE house (not just kiddo), do all of our laundry, handle changing over of linens, dropping off packages, running errands, etc. I’d also want this person to be aware that there is an opportunity for them to pick up hours during busy seasons for you and/or au pair vacation time.
Anonymous says
Are you saying you work from home with an au pair? How does this work for you? I work primarily remote from home and have basically written off the idea of an au pair, because I think having her and kiddo at home near me would be too distracting. Of course, it could be that I’m just too easily distracted!
Anonymous says
Where does one find this person?? I want to start outsourcing this stuff (similar career stage to OP), but I can’t figure how to do so! I’d love to find one person to come take care of all this stuff during the day.
anne-on says
To anonymous who asked, yes, I do work from home with an au pair. I travel for work and DH is big finance so we need someone for coverage when I’m not home/school holidays/snow days/etc. etc.
I honestly think it only works because my kid is in school and gone a good chunk of the day. We didn’t need an au pair during the daycare phase because family was much more available and daycare hours were a dream in retrospect. I also have a separate in home office and move up there (and shut the door) when I need to when kiddo is home and I need to focus. Otherwise I generally come down and hang out with them and email during the am/pm before school time/after 4pm. I also log in a lot of off hours time on email/computer due to a global team – APA/EMEA/US so one of us is usually on and needs to connect.
But – if you have private space for both you AND au pair I HIGHLY recommend it. The live in care is the only thing that makes two jobs + no family help work.
Anonymous says
I agree with the suggestion to tell her you’re going on vacation to see if you can function without her, and possibly again in a month while you try out other options. I’m sure you’ve thought of all of this already, but here are some ideas of where to find people:
1.) do any of your colleagues have teenage children who would be able to do this?
2.) do you have a college nearby that might have students willing to do this?
3.) do you ever work late enough to speak with your janitorial staff at your office? Would they want a few extra hours?
4.) would any of your children’s daycare teachers want this extra income?
5.) can you advertise for this on facebook or another social media platform?
6.) does your au pair know anyone who would be interested?
I think you are right to be frustrated and I think you can absolutely find someone better. You don’t have to live with incompetent assistance!
Em says
Have you looked into a cleaning service instead of a housekeeper, or in addition to your housekeeper (and reduce her hour if possible)? We are in a LCOL area and our cleaning service will do dishes, laundry, change sheets, etc. for an additional fee. You could have your housekeeper do more administrative tasks that don’t require physical exertion.
OP says
Yes, we’ve asked our cleaning service to just come more days and do the breakfast dishes, but they are reluctant to say yes. I should probably ask around for a different cleaning service. And maybe try the agency route.
RE: where to find people who do what our housekeeper currently does: crazy difficult in my area!! I’ve posted on social media sites several times, and received no responses. Nannies don’t want to do this, our house cleaners have no recommendations, teenagers in my VHCOL area do not work because Activities.
Thank you for all of the support and suggestions! Sometimes it’s difficult to make a change.