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Isabella says
How often would you guys recommend I take LB (1 yo) to the pool, considering:
~It’s important to both me and DH that he learn to swim someday.
~DH loved swimming as a kid and really treasures this chance to share an activity. But he works later than me, so he can’t make it happen without my support.
~The pool is 15 min away from work/daycare and 45 min away from home, so it pretty much requires the whole evening. Then we go home and rush through dinner and bedtime.
Anon says
At age 1, your child is not learning how to swim. You should only go to the pool if your child enjoys it and you find it reasonably easy to fit into your schedule. To me, with the setup you describe, I would not go at all and would let husband take the kiddo if he enjoys it. My child only went in a pool a couple of times before age 3 (on vacations) and at age 5 is a fish who swims every day. What you do now has little bearing on what will happen later.
NYCer says
I mostly agree with this. I would go once a week max, ONLY if you and your baby enjoys going too.
anon says
+1
Emma says
Agreed. I’ve been taking DD (10 months) to Aquababy weekly, but that’s because I am in the fortunate position of still being on leave (that ends in August) and it’s a good way to kill time and cool down in the summer. I’ve been pondering signing up for Saturday morning lessons in September, but honestly probably won’t, even though baby enjoys the water, because we may want to chill in the mornings instead of rushing to the pool. I wouldn’t do it on weeknights after daycare and agree that your husband can take the baby from time to time if he enjoys it. I do think it’s good for babies to have exposure to water, but I don’t think they need weekly or more practice at that age!
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, this. Both of my kids didn’t start swim lessons until around 3/3.5, and my older one is an excellent swimmer now and both love the pool. You have plenty of time and it doesn’t seem worth it now.
Spirograph says
+1
If there’s an outdoor pool anywhere near you, I’d just go as a family occasionally as a summer weekend activity. All you’re doing with a 1 year old is holding them in the water, maybe encouraging them to jump from the side into your arms. If your child likes that (two of mine loved the water at that age, one could take it or leave it), it’s a fun way to spend a couple hours. If not, just wait until he’s old enough for independent swim lessons.
Anecdata: my kids had weekly swim lessons at YMCA preschool, but they didn’t do anything I would call swimming until they were a little older – around 5-6 – and then all of a sudden they were fish. Swim lesson times for the three of them do not line up conveniently, so mostly I just work with them a bit every time we go to the pool for fun (frequently), and we send them to 2 week swim camp each summer. My youngest would probably love to be on a swim team, but that time commitment… oof.
busybee says
Honestly this sounds like a hassle and a very long day. I think my time at that pool would be pretty limited. Are there any alternatives?
What about a kiddie pool for home? We actually have a pool but we use the kiddie pool just as much, and my daughter has loads of fun in it (plus I don’t have to hold her the whole time).
Anonymous says
Never, until he’s around 4 and old enough for actual swim lessons.
Anon says
Can it be a weekend activity? With a stop for lunch on the way home?
We live 15 mins from our pool and I try to take my non-swimming kids once a week. When my oldest was on swim team we were there five days a week and it was fine- we learned to make things work.
How often would DH go to the pool if it were just him? If the pool were closer? Even if your kiddo isn’t learning to swim per se, if your enjoy going as a family I think it’s worth going as a family at least once a week. i do prefer going with another adult because then there is someone to watch the kids during adult swim and I can get some laps in.
Anon says
Swimming at this age is more for the parents’ enjoyment than anything else in my opinion. Ages 2 and up, I think it is more about getting a child comfortable with being in the water and learning swimming basics. I don’t think any real swim lessons are learned until after age 3. If this is something that you and your husband enjoy, you should do it. If it isn’t something you enjoy, limit how often you do it. At least this year. My then almost 3 year old loved the water and had no hesitation about getting in the pool (she had no fear of it, which was a problem as well). She’s now 4 and a half and just picking up some of the basics at swim lessons. At last night’s class, there was a 3 year old who didn’t even want to put his feet in the water. It’s a fine line on exposure and very kid dependent.
Anon says
I’m not convinced exposure is what helps kids get over fear. I think for some it just takes time. Mine was very hesitant around water the summer she was 3, and just had a completely different attitude next summer at 4. Nothing we did, just the passage of time.
Anonymous says
Whenever you personally want to go to the pool.
My 3 girls, now 5,7,and almost 10 are good swimmers. My 10 year old can swim 300m+ without stopping in perfect form. My newly 7 year old can swim many strokes, do turns, swim for 75-100m without stopping, dive off the block etc. My just turned 5 year old has been able to swim since she was 3.5 and can now swim 25m freestyle!
Oldest went to all the baby swim classes etc. she learned to actually swim when she was 4.5
In group lessons.
Middle was terrified of the water, hated getting wet. She got private lessons at age 4.5 that helped her be more comfortable is the water and last summer when she turned 6 she just…took off.
My youngest did not have a single swim lesson until this summer. She just chilled in a puddle jumper and last summer got in the pool without one and started kicking and swimming at age 4.
All that to say I really don’t think what you do at age 1 matters. Kids can start real swim lessons in preschool and most won’t really swim until more like age 4.5ish.
Anonie says
+1
octagon says
Any option for a closer pool? A 45 minute drive is a haul on a weekday. I love swimming and it was important to foster it in my kid, but at that age just once or twice is probably plenty. If it’s an outdoor pool, can you pack dinner and have a picnic with your son there, so that when you get home it’s just bedtime? Or can all of you go on a weekend morning when DH can join you?
Also – you can look for parent-and-me lessons for the fall that would be a more structured way to introduce water comfort, but I agree that they are more for getting comfortable in the water and less about any specific skills unless you are doing ISR.
Anon says
I would do once a week or so, but more for your benefit than your baby’s. Getting out of the normal routine for something you can enjoy as a family is really nice! Your baby can get used to the water, you can all do something fun that isn’t just bedtime routines, and you can eventually transition to real swimming lessons.
Anonie says
Missing from your analysis: how often do you WANT to take him? That’s your answer. There’s no “should” with a 1 year old – they don’t know the difference. Trust me, once your child is 5+ and going to the pool, you’ll look at all the parents there with their infants and scoff at the huge amount of effort it took for something that your child does-not-care about or remember.
Anon says
+1 This is true for everything, not just swimming. In a few years your kid will have strong opinions about they spend their time. Do what you want to do now!
Spirograph says
+a million bazillion to this. Kids under 3 (or even a lot older than that, depending!) are indifferent to whether they do swim, music, sport, dance, etc, and any impact to their future capabilities in these areas is highly debatable. “Should” shouldn’t factor into these decisions at all. Do it if it’s easy and fun, and if it doesn’t meet both those criteria, don’t give it another thought.
Anonymous says
I would never go to a pool 45 minutes from home! Literally never. Your one year old isn’t learning to swim. Idk why you’d even join a pool 45 mins away.
Mrs. Jones says
I would never take him to a pool 45 minutes from home.
Anonymous says
Ughhhh this is why I hate our culture’s approach to parenting. Your post assumes there’s some kind of correct answer here! Good grief. Just enjoy life with your baby.
Anonymous says
Wait, your husband wants you to take the baby to the pool alone because *he* values swimming? And it’s 45 minutes from home? No way.
Anon says
I read it as he wants all three of them to go to the pool, because he can’t take the kid solo? Still quite an ask.
Anonymous says
I read it as she has to take the baby alone because he gets out of work too late.
TheElms says
I would go once a during the week and maybe once on the weekend if everyone is enjoying their time at the pool. BUT DH needs to build it into his work schedule too, it can’t all fall on you. Can DH go in early one day a week so he can leave a little early on the pool day? Can DH work after dinner/bedtime another night? If neither of those are an option you need to find a pool closer to home I think.
Assuming those aren’t possible, while you work on finding a closer pool, I’d set it up so that you pick up LB from daycare and go to the pool. DH joins when he’s done working and you head home from the pool (I’m assuming you are in two different cars or one can take public transit or a ride share) to get a bit of break / start dinner. DH rinses LB under the shower (to get the chlorine off) before leaving the pool and changes him into pjs and drives home. Eat dinner as a family and LB can go straight to bed.
Anon says
I would never take a baby to a pool 45 minutes away, unless I was meeting a friend in that area. Isn’t there a closer pool? But in general, this sounds like your husband’s “thing” so he should be managing it.
Anon says
Are there any pools closer to your house? 45 mins is a long way for a pool.
If you have a community pool nearby, they’re usually quite affordable and very localized. I would look into that.
At 1 year old, you’re just doing water acclimation, not learning how to swim. However, if there’s an option for an indoor pool in the winter, I would look into that to keep the baby acclimated to the water.
Toddler Bedtime Revamp says
We are getting ready to transition the 3 year old to a big bed, and he has some pretty bad bedtime routines. For quite a while, dad has read him stories and then sat with him in the glider/recliner until he falls asleep in his lap. I really want to get him out of the need to fall asleep with his dad. Any tips/tricks to transition back to independent sleep?
We sleep trained him at 12 weeks, and he was great for a couple years until they got into this habit. We tried to redo CIO a couple weeks ago, and it was a mess.
Anon says
I still lie down with my 3.5 year old at bedtime, but in the past month or so I’ve been telling her “Just for two minutes, then I need to go clean the kitchen.” She seems to accept that and it mostly works. Once in a while she will get out of bed when I leave and I have to walk her back to bed.
I feel like my kids went through lots of different sleep/bedtime habits/phases the first few years, and it wasn’t until elementary school that my older two were consistently falling asleep on their own.
anon says
I still lay down with my almost 10 yo. We cuddle and talk about her day a little bit, then she dozes off. We’ve tried to drop the routine a few times, but she gets in her head and has a lot of anxiety about falling asleep. In the end, I figure she’ll grow out of it sometime in middle school. She does go to sleep on her own at sleepovers and campouts, so she can do it. She just really likes the security of having a parent there.
Anonymous says
I do this with my 8 year old and honestly if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. Sometimes I’m annoyed at how long bedtime takes but I also don’t spend a lot of time with my kids during the week and I enjoy the snuggles.
An.On. says
My kid is a little younger but what worked for us was reading some books with our kid, and then sending them to bed with one of the books, so they could keep looking at it until they fell asleep. It helped us transition out of the “falling asleep on the bottle” routine we’d been on for two years, and after a month or two they didn’t even need to bring the books to bed anymore (although we have since added two baby dolls to the bedtime tuck-in).