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I never think about Lands’ End for workwear, but perhaps I should.
From a distance, you wouldn’t guess this classic-looking blazer is made of soft and cozy sweater fleece. It’s also anti-pill and anti-static — perfect, since one of its top virtues is it’s machine washable. To top it off, it comes in eight patterns and regular, tall, and petite sizes.
That said, it’s probably better for more casual offices or Zoom calls. I’d even take it into the weekend with a casual tee and jeans.
This Sweater Fleece Blazer is on sale starting at $49.97 and comes in sizes XS–XL (regular and petite), S–XL (tall), and 1X–3X.
Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon says
Kind of random, but does anyone know if there are common daycare viruses that start with a cough? 3 year old woke up with a bad cough yesterday and then today is still coughing but also has a runny nose. No fever and normal energy levels. Covid test was fortunately negative. If the runny nose had come first I wouldn’t worry but I know this isn’t the normal order of cold symptoms so just curious what this could be (and also want some anecdotal reassurance that the Covid test wasn’t a false negative).
Anon says
My kids had a cold that was just like this – multiple negative covid tests but just a cough. who knows?
Anon says
Was your child tested for RSV? My adult daughter was negative for Covid but was positive for RSV (tested routinely upon a hospital admission).
Boston Legal Eagle says
Same – my toddler started with a mild sporadic cough, which turned into a bad case of croup that night (hospital and everything, positive for RSV). His runny nose started a few days after this when it’s usually the opposite.
OP says
Interesting! She had RSV two years ago and it started with a profuse runny nose before the cough. But your experience makes me think it could be RSV. The cough definitely sounds like RSV. The post nasal drip cough from a cold is much milder for us normally.
Anon says
My kid coughs from postnasal drip because he can’t/won’t blow his nose. Could it be that?
Anonymous says
This is what RSV was like for my kid. Days 3-4 were the worst as far as fever and coughing.
sick says
My kid age 4 (and now me) have this cold that started with a cough. Also covid negative. Both have gross productive coughs with no fever. I feel run down, my daughter had a day of being cranky. She is nearly recovered after 3-4 days and I still feel like crap.
Anon says
My 2 year old’s daycare room has had a case of croup cough going around. Could it be that?
Anon says
Sounds like the current RSV strain around me (midwest). There were two diagnosed cases of RSV in my daughter’s younger toddler classroom. Daughter started coughing, then runny nose – we did multiple at-home covid tests and one at the ped, all negative. We didn’t get a test for RSV but given there were two diagnosed cases in her classroom I figure this is what it was.
EDAnon says
I think my son has this and I wondered about RSV, too (also Midwest). He’s getting covid tested today.
OP says
You guys are good – we got a text from a classmates mom that her daughter has confirmed RSV. The last time my kid had it her symptoms were pretty different but I guess it’s a different strain. We’re in the Midwest also.
EJF says
Low stakes question this morning…can anyone recommend a good hooded bath towel for a toddler? I’ve found some that are cute but very thin. Thank you!
Anon says
The pottery barn kids ones are very nice quality (albeit $$$)
anon says
Ditto. Pottery barn gifted us a baby hooded bath towel from PBK, and it’s much nicer and thicker than the others we got. If you want more mileage I’d definitely get the kid hooded towel because even my 2yo is a bit big for the baby hooded. I got their hooded beach towels and they’re really sweet.
FP says
I liked the aden & anais ones – they were decently large too.
AnonATL says
We got one from etsy as a gift. It’s made with a normal towel and is very thick.
Anonymous says
We have a great one from Ikea that is a nice size for toddlers/preschoolers and nice and thick. On Etsy, I have used and gifted hooded towels from Crafting4Caleb and would recommend that shop as well. They are thick, come in various sizes, and you can do monogrammed or with a design.
Anon says
I love our IKEA bath towel for kiddo!
Waffles says
Our Yikes Twins towels are thick and have held up for years, though I did eventually have to sew up a small tear on one of them.
Anon says
I like the ones from White Company
AwayEmily says
My mom got ones for my 3yo and 5yo from Overstock — I think the brand was “sweet kids turkish bathrobe.” They are LEGIT. Like, luxury hotel-quality thickness. Plain white with monograms. The kids absolutely love them and tbh I kind of want one too.
Anon says
You can make these yourself for super cheap with very little knowledge. A friend of mine let me use her sewing machine one afternoon and I made my own. They’re not fancy but they’re surprisingly cute, easy, and fast.
Just find a towel and hand towel that you like. You can find a ton of patterns/instructions online, but in essence I folded the hand towel in half, sewed one side shut as the top of the hood, and then sewed the other side to the towel. I didn’t add ribbons or hand pockets or anything but I think you can if you’re ambitious.
My local library has a sewing machine for public use (and helpful people who tell you how to use it), and I think places like Joanns will either rent you theirs or tell you where to rent one. Or you can do like I did, and ask for a basic sewing machine for Christmas/birthday/etc. They’re around $100 and although I’ve made some mistakes, it’s been super helpful to add patches to beloved blankies or hem pants.
anon says
I never thought to see if my library had one! I went overboard for Halloween, hand sewing a costume because I don’t have a sewing machine and underestimated the amount of work to hand-sew. Good idea thanks!!
Cb says
Yep, my mom made all of ours, and I think the towels (just JC Penney) are better quality than the pre-made ones. We have a maker studio in the village where you can rent sewing machine space, it’s super cheap and there are older ladies who will help you if you get stuck.
ElisaR says
not related, but how cool are libraries!? i never thought they’d have sewing machines, but very cool!
Anon says
Search for “princess hooded toddler towel” on the river site. They should be the first non-sponsored result. They come in pink and blue with the crown motif and a green frog version. They are nice and thick and they are long enough to cover my average size 2.5 year old. I had problems with other towels not being nearly long enough.
Anon says
we received two towels when my twins were born from a site called Moonbeam Baby and 3.5 years later they are still as good as new and I think will last for longer bc they are pretty long. and super thick. even better than the pottery barn ones.
Anon says
Tagging off this–recs for hooded towels that fit 5yos? My kids are outgrowing the ones they’ve had since they were babies so I thinking new bigger ones would be a good thing for their birthday wishlist.
Anonymous says
Kyte baby? I like the one we have from there
too high expectations ? says
What do you do when you (sometimes) think that your husband is not a good dad?
Nothing close to abusive but I often feel that my husband doesn’t talk „nicely“ enough to our son, i.e. middle of the night wake ups he will often say „go to sleeeeeep!“ in a very annoyed tone whereas I try to still be „warmer“. He gets annoyed over normal toddler behavior much more quickly than me…
Is that just a difference in parenting style and I need to let it go?
Anonymous says
What is wrong with being annoyed at a toddler waking you up in the night? Like, that is the example you choose to give and I don’t think that is remotely being a bad parent and find it disturbing you do.
anon says
^^See, why add that last part? “too high” is self-aware enough to realize she might be overreacting, so just say that. It’s not “disturbing” to disagree with your co-parent. (I agree, OP’s comment alone doesn’t make it sound like DH is a “bad” parent, but who knows what else is going on triggering this question.)
Anonymous says
It is disturbing to me. That is why I said that.
Anon says
There is a lot of overwrought language here – “Yikes!” “disturbing,” etc.
While neither DH nor I snap at our toddler in the middle of the night – it’s counterproductive, as he needs quiet and soothing, not anger – I can understand how someone would snap if he expects more out of toddlers than they can deliver.
Anon says
I thought she was saying the OP’s attitude was disturbing, not the husband’s behavior. But I agree with you that nothing about this situation or OP’s reaction to it is disturbing.
anon says
These parenting things are so hard! There’s so many differing approaches, and even when you agree on the approach I think many of us fall back to how we were raised, etc. So, it’s tough work! My kids are in a stage of really fighting bedtime so I’m going to be blunt, after 5 times, I’m very much yelling “get back in your bed!” But, to answer your question, my approach (when I’m not overly stressed or annoyed) is to talk to DH and try to get his buy-in with my/our plan for dealing with specific things. Like, “this 5:30 wake up time for DD is not working. Here’s what I’m thinking – this week we shift bedtime earlier and try to be diligent about leaving plenty of wind-down time, etc. Any other ideas? I’ll work on getting them ready for bed extra-early, can you be the one to put them back in bed if they wake up at night?” And use your strengths. I’m more cuddly about bedtime issues specifically, so midnight wakings he often does so that I’m not incentivizing waking up to “play” at 5am or whatever. If your husband is someone who likes research, you can share articles or whatever about normal development, or see if he’ll watch Big Little Feelings Course with you (DH watched some, and it’s fairly repetitive so I thought it was enough to get the idea). I’d also just try to use humor. If you haven’t read “Go the F*ck to Sleep” book, it made us both laugh so hard and reminded us it isn’t just our kids trying to drive us nuts and let us approach it with a better perspective.
Cb says
Yeah, I’ll do a song and a cuddle (and fall asleep mid cuddle) when I have to go in to put the duvet back on. My husband is much more efficient with it.
Pogo says
I notice DH is like this when he is personally tired or stressed. He has a hard time being patient when he’s worn down – and I probably am too but I express it differently. We try to give each other breaks when we notice the other person is getting worn down (I will even tap him out of bathtime if I notice it’s going south).
AnonATL says
Same here. There’s a certain edge in my husband’s voice, and I’m like yep it’s time to go for a walk and give daddy a second. Not like he’s going to strike our kid or anything, but he’s clearly reaching the end of his patience. I get the same way, and I will ask my husband to take over for 5 minutes to go calm down.
Parenting is hard and tiring.
EDAnon says
We do this, too. Also, like above, when something like wake ups is getting to both of us, we strategize about solutions.
Anonymous says
I would let it go and pick your battles. He’s not going to change unless he wants to, and what you are talking about sounds too minor to try to escalate enough that he wants to change.
Anon says
+1M to this. Although this may trigger the chorus of “My partner would never” and “You should have thought about this before you got married!”
Anon says
I get what you mean, although in your example I am the annoyed night parent! I take in a lot of parenting books and podcasts (my personality is geared toward research, planning, self-help, etc), so I am steeped in the language of Janet Lansbury and How to Talk, and have been “practicing” for 5+ years. It is jarring to me when I hear my husband still struggling in areas where I have improved, so to speak – like talking and reprimanding when I would just be quiet snd let the tantrum pass. But at the same time, I lose my cool in other areas and he balances me out there. I’d start by actively trying to notice your husband’s strengths as a parent to perhaps reset your view.
If he’s open to it, you can give him some of the books or resources you find helpful for him to read. Or, in a non-heated moment you can bring up some of your child’s toughest behaviors, commiserate, then tell him how you handle them and why. Parenting is a process and we are all at different points; the most important factor IMO is if you’re both willing to discuss and learn together and be open to kind feedback.
Anonymous says
And things like Janet Lansbury are just tools. They are a good way to parent. Not the only good way.
Anon says
Based on your example DH and I are both bad parents! But really I agree with this whole comment: “ I’d start by actively trying to notice your husband’s strengths as a parent to perhaps reset your view.”
I’m undoubtedly more patient but DH is a better parent than me in other ways!
Anonymous says
I think Janet Lansbury et al. are overrated. Yes, you should try to be patient and to respect the child as a person and all of that, but at some point the warm fuzzy stuff is no longer appropriate or effective. Saying “go to sleeeeep!” in an annoyed tone is what needs to happen when a kid has gotten you up in the middle of the night for no reason. He’s not putting the child down or attacking his character, he’s just letting the kid know that his behavior is not acceptable and that grown-ups are not robots who exist just to fulfill the child’s every whim.
Anon says
Yes, this. I think I’m empathetic and kind to my kids and validate their big feelings but I can’t stand Janet. Adults make the rules and can get firm or even annoyed about enforcing those rules when the kid is breaking them. Especially in the middle of the night!
NYCer says
I wouldn’t equate waking up in the middle of the night to breaking a rule though. I am sure the kid did not WANT to wake up in the middle of the night…
[I agree with your sentiment overall though.]
Anonymous says
Waking up in the middle of the night isn’t breaking a rule. Getting out of bed and/or waking up parents is breaking a rule.
Anon says
I feel like you are misunderstanding her philosophy. Firm boundaries and authentic reactions (even annoyance!) are essential in RIE parenting
Anon says
Ok fine waking up in the middle of the night isn’t breaking a rule. But I don’t think telling a kid “go back to sleep” in the middle of the night (even if it’s done in a rather impatient tone) is inconsistent with respecting your child and their feelings, and it’s something virtually all parents I know have done. There are many ways we can damage our kids but I don’t think this is one of them.
I find Janet’s books very smug, although the basic philosophy and the summaries I’ve heard from other people are less extreme.
NYCer says
I honestly have never read anything by Janet Lansbury, I was responding to the comment by Anon at 10:49 about being annoyed or firm about enforcing rules “especially in the middle of the night”. Personally, I do not think that a toddler waking up at night is equivalent to breaking a rule or pushing a boundary. Other good parents may feel differently, and that is fine!
Anon says
I’m the anon at 11:02 and I agree with you, NYCer…I was also replying the person above you. I see how waking a parent in the night could be construed as rule-breaking if you told them not to, but I think there’s a deeper reason than “I want to annoy my parents and break a rule.” It takes a lot of effort to respond to those kinds of behaviors with patience, but hopefully in the long run will help children feel heard, understood, and that their feelings matter even if they are inconvenient to others.
And yah, maybe I’m just telling myself that because all three of my kids still sometimes wake me up lol, but I think back to how many times my parents addressed my behavior rather than the motivation behind it and how alone that made me feel (when in general they were great parents!), and I’m glad these new parenting “philosophies” are taking a softer approach.
Anonymous says
11:22, the problem with always prioritizing the child’s feelings is that it makes the child the center of the universe, which is definitely not the case in reality. Other people have needs and feelings too, and teaching kids that their perceived needs and feelings always supersede others’ needs is a recipe for raising a self-centered, entitled narcissist. You don’t wake your parents up in the middle of the night unless it’s an emergency, because parents need to sleep at night so they can function the next day. Even a preschooler can and should learn this.
Anon says
I mostly agree with 2:36, although I think her wording is a little strong. It’s perfectly ok to teach your child that it’s not permitted to wake your parents up in the middle of the night, barring something the child needs immediate help with and cannot reasonably be expected to do alone (help getting medicine, an accident that requires new clothes or sheets, help getting to the toilet for young children, etc.) We basically have a zero tolerance policy for night waking and never do any middle of the night comforting or playing, beyond a quick snuggle and hug after administering Tylenol when she’s sick. For us, the middle of the night is not a time for fun and games or parent-child bonding. It’s a time for the child to be reminded to go back to sleep and then for the parents to follow through on that plan by leaving the room. Other families can reasonably make a different choice, but it is not cruel or bad parenting to refuse to engage in long conversations or cuddle a preschooler for an hour at 3 am.
Pogo says
I haven’t read Janet Lansbury but this is how I feel about Dr. Becky. Everyone gushes about her so I followed her. She posted the other day that during a child-led pretend play session, her son wanted her to write a sign. So she spelled stuff wrong on purpose and then corrected herself to model appropriate reactions to failure to her child.
I’m sorry what? If I have 5 free minutes a day to play with my child, I am not also going to invent fake mistakes for the purposes of modeling behavior. I am going to model mommy not having a breakdown, thankyouverymuch.
Anonymous says
This is bananacrackers! First off, I agree that yes this is a situation for mommy to model not having a breakdown. Second, kids have very accurate BS detectors and will know if you are faking poor spelling. Third, I screw up for real often enough that I have plenty of opportunities to model appropriate reactions to failure without inventing one.
Cb says
Yeah, it’s a bit of a humblebrag, like I have to invent stuff I’m bad at because I’m so perfect?
AwayEmily says
I’m so glad you brought this up. I agree with a lot of what Dr Becky says but I think the “pretending to make mistakes in front of your kid” thing is crazypants. And it just seems WEIRD to, like, straight-up lie to your kid.
Cb says
OMG, I thought this was TERRIBLE! Like I think kids have a good BS meters, so faking being bad at something seems really obnoxious. I let my kid see me be genuinely bad at something – I often can’t open things and I can’t kick a soccer ball, and try to get better, but faking it is ridiculous.
Anon says
Oh my god what!?! Does she claim she’s…perfect in all aspects of life? Because I make plenty of mistakes on a regular basis (and correct and/or apologize to my kid or in front of her) so I have no idea why I would need to invent fake mistakes in addition to the real ones.
Anon says
I feel like children benefit from different parenting styles, even ones that are a little sterner. Meg Leahy wrote a column in the Washington Post about this that I thought really insightful and helpful:
https://www.mlparentcoach.com/washington-post/how-do-we-present-a-united-front-when-our-parenting-styles-are-so-different/
To my mind, once one parent starts labelling the other “not good”, it opens the door to maternal gate keeping and unequal parenting. That’s not to say you need to let it go, but rather maybe just gently discuss parenting goals. He is not, and will not be you, so you’ll have to accept that he approaches things differently.
My husband is rather brusque with the kids; he thinks I’m too easy on them. Neither of us can get the kids to pick up their toys 100% of the time- sometimes his method works, sometimes mine does. Sometimes nothing works. I will tell him if one of the kids says something to me about being upset when he yells, so that he knows that they feel that way. I will also tell him when a parenting choice he makes doesn’t sit well with me… but I try to make it a conversation to address the issue about the child, not anout him. More and more I keep coming back to the phrase from Td Lasso “curiosity, not judgement”…
Mm says
I know the holidays are two months away, but people are already asking for physical gift ideas for me – any good ideas? So far I have a new pair of Vuori joggers on my list. No need for lotions, candles, or fancy food.
Anonymous says
Books, socks, any beauty product, towels.
Pogo says
Meal service subscription? Wine subscription? Coffee subscription?
I’m so over physical gifts. My in-laws love language is gifts, though, so it is a losing battle.
Mm says
Same re in-laws. If only they could understand how happy I would be to receive a DoorDash gift card. Thanks all for the suggestions so far!
Anonymous says
Art museum membership? Flower subscription? Books? A cute but impractical purse for dressy occasions? Cookbooks?
I cannot believe that anyone has no need for fancy food. Give me alllllll the cheese and chocolates and nuts and coffees and …
Anon says
If you like to cook, I love my Hedley & Bennett apron, and it’s the kind of thing where $100 for an apron seems silly and then I love it so much I am debating a second one. I also recently purchased birkenstocks (classic) and the foam water friendly ones as house shoes since I can no longer comfortably walk barefoot anymore. Nice slippers could be on your list as well. I also love a good pair of socks (Kane or Smartwool). Is there fancy coffee you like (or is that food)? Any outdoor furniture (polywood rocking chair) or a fire pit for our Covid fall?
Anon says
Does it have to be a tangible gift? Why not a subscription to something you would enjoy? I hate paying for Spotify so a year of premium is a good gift for me. I also enjoy the NYT Crossword app on my phone.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Here’s what’s on my list, subtracting what you said you did not want, and sharing with the hopes you feel inspired.
1. Personal Scents – Nest Orange Blossom Oil, Chloé Eau de Parfum
2. Copper Drip Kettle for my Chemex (my brother got me a chemex for my birthday and it’s seriously one of the best presents ever. Caveat that I like the routine of making coffee)
3. Spices from Diaspora Co.
4. GC from Studs, Ana Luisa (I love to mix-and-match earrings)
Anonymous says
Here is my list (I am going with nicer versions of things I already have). Last year we got each other a local cheese club and a cocktail club, both very fun and we have kept doing it.
Tart pan
Stainless steel Measuring cups
Dutch Oven
Nice bike helmet
Silk pillowcase
rick rack embroidery kit (trying to come up with a hobby that is easy to pick up and put down in the windows of time that i have) https://rikrack.com/shop/swallow-embroidery-kit
Fancy tea (I like tea forte)
KW says
I’m thinking along these lines too. OP – anything you own that could use replacing and upgrading? I live in a cold climate and told DH I want to replace my 10+ year old Uggs with something new and nicer. I told my mom I want to replace my existing gloves and socks with good, much warmer versions.
anon says
How do you know when a gentle push for your kids is appropriate? Context: my daughter is really creative, loves to sing and dance, is pretty outgoing, maybe shy at first but then really comfortable around people. I’ve asked her if she wants to take a dance class–any kind–but she says no. She talks about gymnastics all the time and I’ve asked her if she wants to take a class, and again, no. She’s 6, in kindergarten, so obviously there’s plenty of time for her to get involved in activities, but I do wonder, am I making a mistake by just leaving it up to her? Should I sign her up for something that I’m fairly certain that she’ll like just to expose her to it? I guess, how do you get your kids interested in activities? Do you leave it to them to decide, even at 5 or 6, or do you just sign them up? I wouldn’t make her continue if she hated it or something, but I really do think she’ll like it. Idk, I was involved in a lot of after school or weekend activities at her age and I loved it. And I think there’s a huge value in the discipline and focus that you gain from being involved in activities, whether it’s sports or music or whatever. I think it had a huge influence on how I live my life, even if I don’t do those activities any more. I don’t want to be the pushy parent though, and obviously I want my kid to be happy. How do you all approach this?
Anonymous says
I would present it differently- hey you’re going to try this really fun thing! Like she’s 6 she doesn’t know what dance class even is.
Anonymous says
This. Don’t ask her, just tell her. Start with one short session of one activity and avoid activities that require a yearlong commitment. If she likes it, sign up for the next session. If she doesn’t like it, try something else.
Anonymous says
I do a little bit of both. You didn’t mention how you ask kiddo, but I think you can probably sell certain classes a little more than by simply asking if she wants to take it. I’d make a big deal about how great you’ve heard the class is and how much kiddos (a specific friend if possible) loves it.
Anon says
I’m in a similar boat with my 6-year-old. He does enthusiastically agree to do a couple things (like little league), but is shy and reluctant for most things I suggest (day camp, art class, certain other sports, etc), so I just drop it. I remind myself he’s super young and unstructured time is still best at this age (especially with long school days). I also don’t want to burn him out on any of his burgeoning interests or make them feel like a big deal instead of a fun hobby to explore in his own way.
I see the value in trying *something*, so if your daughter seems excited but mildly hesitant about the idea I might sign her up, but if it seems to make her nervous or she is strongly against the idea, I would not push. Giving her another year to mature/warm up to the idea might do the trick.
Pogo says
Ours does various activities through school, and so I asked both kiddo and his teachers how he liked it. He was into Taekwondo at first, but then said he didn’t want to do it. His teacher confirmed he had a great time. I think sometimes for whatever reason when they’re with us they aren’t always as positive about experiences as when they are with their peers. He says the same thing about yoga, but I’ve seen pictures and he’s actually doing the poses (which he never does when I try to get him to do yoga).
Taekwondo is the only one I have to sign him up for, so I did that; everyone does yoga and Spanish so he doesn’t have a choice. I signed him up and making him stick with it at least for a little while – or for sure as long as his teachers confirm he’s happy and engaged when he gets there (which is the case). If a kid was actively resisting the activity, or crying, refusing to participate, etc, I would pull them.
Anonymous says
But isn’t being able to do something a different thing from wanting to do it? I was a compliant child so I participated in all the activities my parents forced me to do but I was miserable while I was doing it.
Pogo says
I think this is a know your kid thing.. mine does not yet at age 4 have the capability to pretend to enjoy something. He is either miserable and you know it, or he’s having a good time. He can’t even lie about eating fruit snacks for breakfast, I don’t think he could fake enjoyment realistically.
Anon says
Mine is 3.5 and while she has frequent tantrums and definitely is not afraid to show anger or other emotions in many situations, I do already see elements of trying to please us and tell us what she thinks we want to hear. When we ask her questions like “do you like X activity?” or “do you want to have Y friend over for a playdate?” we remind her that she can say no and we won’t be upset whatever the answer, and sometimes her answer does surprise us. I have no idea if that’s the right approach though.
No Face says
Can you try some low-stakes introductions to these things? I am looking into ballet classes in my area, and some of them will let you observe. Could you watch a gymnastics class or ballet class in person (or on youtube) and see if she wants to join? Or you could look into drop-in style classes.
I also think that some people love structured activities and some don’t. I remember as a kid having to do a particular thing every Tuesday and Thursday felt miserable and stifling. By high school, I was in a million clubs and activities at school and loved it.
Anon says
so as someone who did every single activity as a kid, i actually think it had a negative impact in how i live my life in that i was so over scheduled as a kid that i am like burnt out as an adult. my parents truly meant well. their parents couldn’t afford any of these things for them and so they wanted to let my sister and i try ALL the things. i did like some of them, didn’t like others, but i was not particularly good at any of these things.
that being said, do any of the classes near you allow you to try one out? like instead of asking your daughter, can you just tell her that today we are going to go and try a gymnastics class. i asked my 3.5 year olds if they wanted to try gymnastics, they said yes, a week later they said no (of course after i had just signed them up), so then we watched the daniel tiger gymnastics episode and they went and had fun and are excited to go again today.
Anonymous says
Unstructured play time is really valuable for kids. I sign them up only for things that they really want to try. I offer lots of stuff but only sign up for what they want. You can enjoy things and not want to take lessons in it. Only exception is swimming as that is a safety issue and they are allowed to quit as soon as they can reliably swim independently. I still dislike Tuesdays because my parents made me take piano lessons that I hate for 5 years. I love music but I hate piano and retained nothing but a dislike of Tuesdays. Not doing that to my kids.
Anonymous says
Consider signing her up with a friend.
Anonymous says
In my observation, this strategy can backfire, especially with younger kids. The kids may spend all their time chatting and not pay attention to the instructor. If one child quits, the other may quit just because her friend isn’t there. Conversely, if the friend quits then your kid may want to quit too even if she enjoys the activity.
Anonymous says
Ha, messed up those last two lines.
Anon says
I think I’m less pro-activity than many here, but my approach is to let the child drive the activities. I did no activities as a child until I asked to start a time-intensive sport at age 8, and I think that was the right approach for me, an introvert who needs a lot of downtime. My child does seem more extroverted than I was, so I think we’ll certainly suggest activities to her but not sign her up unless she says she wants to do it.
It also depends what the choices are. If it’s a gymnastics program vs. another structured afterschool program, I can see pushing gymnastics if you think she’d enjoy it. But unstructured play time is really important and I’d be very hesitant to take that away unless the child is actively asking to do a particular activity.
anon says
We are looking to hire a babysitter for our 2 yo and 6 yo for the very first time! We tried getting recommendations but no one had one (or maybe didn’t want to share). I work at a university so I asked a student in my department if she could recommend places to post job ads for babysitting and she offered to post it in her sorority’s facebook group. I got several texts from interested girls. How do I choose one or vet them? I set up a “get to know you” chat with one of them but other than that, is there something I should be doing? Asking for a resume seems weird, and I’ve already googled her, confirmed she’s a student here, but there’s not a lot about her online and I’m not on facebook. Advice welcome, we really really really need a night out by ourselves! :)
Anonymous says
Pretty typical in my college town for parents to ask the prospective babysitter to provide references.
Anonymous says
I’d just go for it! For a first time I usually have them come over while we are getting ready to go out and make it a short night. And don’t choose! Pick one for the first visit and tell the others that you’re all set for this weekend but will reach out in the future.
anon says
Pick one to have hang out (still paid for her, of course) with you one afternoon – she can watch the kids while you tackle whatever project/housework you wanted, and you can show here where everything is, etc., and make sure you don’t notice any big red flags.
Anon says
+1. And I’d probably try to have 2 or 3 different ones do the afternoon trial. Worst case, it’ll point out the differences to look for. Best case, you’ll have some backups for other nights.
Once you find one you like, ask her to recommend anyone else she thinks would be good and then do the same thing again. If you do that every year or so, you should have a good sized list of babysitters, and you’ll be the envy of every parent.
anon says
Having two friends do it would be ideallll! I babysat with my high school BFF and it was great – if we ended up a with a conflict we could usually just swap days and run it by the parents, rather than the parents having to find a new sitter.
Pogo says
Have an intro call to get a feel for if they would be a good fit, and ask for references.
EDAnon says
I agree with this. Also, we hired students who’d worked in centers so they had training and background checks. That is a plus if you can get it.
Pogo says
this!! Ours “taught” in the infant room at Goddard. I love hearing her behind the scenes take on it – I will say it sounds like a very well run program.
Anon says
Some advice – think of babysitters as bench strength, not single players. Cultivate relationship with several of them because one will invariably be busy but another will be available. I don’t know how often you go out – I probably go out about 2x a month and find that having a pool of 4 sitters meets my needs.
FVNC says
Just going through this process, after posting on our local university’s job board. I’ve met with 2 potential sitters by myself for about 30 minutes, asked about their experience, walked them through typical responsibilities, etc. Then I scheduled a “trial” time for each — about an hour where my husband and I leave the house and the sitter and kids get to know each other. Paid, of course. The kids and I loved one of the sitters, and we are all more meh on the second. So hopefully we’ll have a new semi-regular sitter. It feels soooooo good!
Anon318 says
Talk to me about your planning routines. Both kids started school this year (K and pre-K) after previously being home with a nanny full-time and my weekend planning sessions seem to still be insufficient. This week it is a midday run to the uniform store and Target because tomorrow and Friday will be chilly and I didn’t buy them pants at the beginning of the school year. Last week it was a last-minute A-zon purchase for boxes to bring in cupcakes for my oldest’s classroom birthday celebration. All foreseeable needs, I just… didn’t account for them when I was planning the week.
Anonymous says
Ummm. Hate to break it to you but this is just life until they go to college.
Anon says
Yeah.
AwayEmily says
This seems pretty normal, tbh. Planning is great but sometimes stuff just…comes up. Also, give yourself some grace — it takes awhile to get into a new routine. Our daycare switched from providing lunch to bringing lunch this year and I forgot my kid’s lunch three times in the first month. Next year you will definitely remember to buy pants.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1,000 to this. Sounds like you’re doing pretty great.
And I know Amaz*n is terrible blah blah but I’ve come to terms that Prime is necessary in my life right now. I’m truly a millennial in the sense I do not enjoy going into big box stores (yes, even the Target) unless I absolutely have to. When speed isn’t critical, I do try to shop elsewhere.
Curious says
There’s a reason parents of young children use Prime. It was a lot easier to get by without it when I was single in an apartment with no baby. I worked at Amazon for years barely buying anything online, to the point that colleagues made fun of me. Then came wedding/home purchase/ pregnancy/ baby (and pandemic) and it’s simply rarer that I have time to go to the store to find e.g. burp cloths or a fleece sweater for baby.
Anon says
It’s tough! After a lot of trial and error (and last minute shipping) we found a routine that mostly works for us.
We spend Sunday evening after dinner writing down our schedule for the week. (We have a shared google calendar but we write each week down on a whiteboard so my early elementary kids know what is going on.) This includes meal plan, errands to run, and house tasks to do. Then we make a huge grocery order for pickup Monday after work that usually includes a pickup at Target or a birthday card or a random alarm clock to replace the one that died, but I try to limit it to two stores. My husband works on the grocery store items while I work on the other store items, but we cross reference quite a bit to make sure we’re not duplicating or forgetting, and also to make sure we’re both adding what we’ll need.
It gets about 95% of our needs – there’s usually one week every few months where something unexpected pops up and we still need to supplement like you describe. We’re also trying to start involving the kids but that makes it take even longer and I’m not sure Sunday evening is the right time to include them. So maybe we’ll move it to Sunday mornings as they start to help and add their own requests.
Clementine says
Honestly, it sounds like you’re doing pretty well!
I am pretty good at planning, but some of the tips I use are:
– When you get a birthday invite, RSVP right away and order a gift immediately.
– With uniforms, more is more. Yes, theoretically you only need 5 shirts and 5 pants… but your life will be better if you order 8 shirts (trust me on this).
– Have an ’emergency’ dinner that is ready in 5 minutes and works. Mine is waffles and soy sausage and fruit (don’t tell my kids the sausage is vegetarian…)
– Shared calendar with my husband. If it’s not on the calendar, it’s not real.
SC says
I use a task-tracking app. So, for example, if I decided in August to wait to buy pants, then ideally, I’d set up a task for Oct. 15th to order pants. I don’t know if I’d think about a box to bring cupcakes in, to be honest :-)
DH and I schedule a planning session on Sunday afternoons, where we check the calendar, figure out carpools, and schedule tasks. Then we check in with each other throughout the week. I’ll add things to the general task list as they pop into my head too, but if they don’t need to be done immediately, I try to wait to schedule them.
Anonymous says
This is what we do, too.
Anon says
how do you handle hair pulling, biting, etc.? my twins (3.5) play this ‘game’ where they climb on top of each other and at first everyone is happy, but it very quickly turns into one twin in particular pulling hair, scratching and/or biting her sister. it happens when i’m in the room or not in the room. i try to intervene before twin A can bit/scratch/pull, but as you are all aware, it is impossible to watch your kid every single second and then even when I try to separate them, twin B runs back and climbs on top of twin A again. do i just let twin A do it until twin B learns when twin A has had enough? there have been a few instances where the bites/scratches were on twin B’s face (thank goodness they wear masks to school) and I am a bit nervous they are going to hurt each other or twin B is going to run out of hair
Anonymous says
I put my kids in time out every time they hurt each other.
Anonymous says
This. Time out every time if you hurt someone. Unless you are defending yourself when you tell them ‘no’ and they don’t stop.
Anon says
Endless repeating of “It’s my job as a parent to keep all my kids safe. If you can’t play safely with your sister, you need to go play in another room. She’s in the living room, so you can go play in the office, the bedroom, or the basement. Which do you want to choose?” Half the time this works, the other half the time we have to physically remove one kid to a different room and shut the door behind them. Usually after a few minutes of screaming about the unfairness of life, they get over it and play independently for a while and then it resets emotions so that they’re better behaved when they go back to playing together.
But also, it’s hard and nothing’s perfect. My kids’ teachers have always known that they’re super physical with each other and have never pressed us on where bites or scratches came from.
OP says
thanks! maybe this will be easier once we move to a house next month and i have more rooms to offer. right now in a two bedroom apartment there aren’t many choices and i’m often solo parenting. fortunately at school they leave each other alone
Anon says
Yeah, key for us is definitely having a couple different spaces in the house that are equally “good” so one twin doesn’t get exiled somewhere without all the toys.
I’m impressed yours leave each other alone at school! Mine are in different classes now, but in daycare at 2 and 3 we regularly got reports of them piling on top of each other to steal toys. At least when the biting is all within the same family they didn’t make us sign incident reports.
Pogo says
Our school has a sticker chart system and physical infraction against another child means not only do you lose a sticker, you have to give said sticker to the injured party. Maybe give that a try? It somewhat works for us. Can’t say it’s a panacea; best thing is to notice stuff getting rowdy or watch for triggers of aggression (eyeing a toy across the room as sibling reaches for it) and intervene first.
We struggle a lot with “but he likes it!” with the roughhousing. Yes, everyone likes it and is giggling up a storm until you bonk them on the head. Sigh.
Anonymous says
Strong ‘no’ and immediate time out. We are very big on consent and the second someone says ‘no’ then the touching stops. And if it looks like the other kid doesn’t want it, I will ask the kid who is doing the touching if they asked permission. Kids pick up on this fast. I’ve heard by 6 year old tell the younger kids ‘I said no and when someone says no you have to listen to them’.
AwayEmily says
Yeah, we’ve done a lot of work around this with my 3.5 and 5.5yo. It’s two types of training — both training them to say no immediately if they don’t like what’s happening, and training them to stop immediately if the other person says no. We reinforce it constantly (e.g. if I hear a kid say “no” from the other room, I will go in and say “hey, sounds like he just said no, he wants you to stop” or if a kid complains to me that their sibling was pushing them, I’ll comfort him and also ask “did you tell her no?”), and I do think it has been somewhat successful.
Anon says
Snowboot advice. My daughter is 3 and just started measuring nearly size 8 for shoes (her current sneakers are 7.5 and seem ok). I should buy size 8 winter boots right? She’s obviously walking but I worry if I size up it will be hard for her to walk in them. She’s too little for “thick socks” anyway. Just seeking confirmation!
Clementine says
My 3 year old ‘just bought size 7.5 sneakers for’ kid has boots which are size 8 bogs.
Anonymous says
My kid wears 9.5 sneakers and we just bought boots in 10 and 11 to try on. I’m assuming we’ll go with the 10s, but if the 11s turn out to not be too hard to walk in we’ll keep those so that they’ll last longer.
Anonymous says
We usually go up a size and try to get two winters out of them. Same with winter jackets and snow pants.
Maternity clothes says
What were your favorite pieces of maternity clothing (type or brand)? I am feeling very meh on the items I have and planning to ask for a few pieces for holiday gifts.
Anon says
Need more details.
WFH? Office and business attire required? When are you due?
OP says
Good questions. WFH and due in the spring
Anon says
This is my third time around. I have liked the following: jeans from Old Navy, sweaters from Target (although I noticed that this time around there is nothing I’d like), basics like long-sleeve t-shirts from Gap and Old Navy. I normally find two pairs of jeans and a few tops/sweaters will do it for me, but I’m pretty minimal when it comes to my clothes. Gap has a good set of basics on their website right now. Note that I don’t normally do athleisure but I’ve heard Old Navy is great for this.
AwayEmily says
I just did a slight refresh of my maternity wardrobe (I’m 25 weeks with my third). In terms of specific pieces available right now, Old Navy “cozecore” maternity leggings are my weekend staple because they have side pockets and are warm enough to wear outside/hiking/etc. If you’re in a warmer climate, the “powersoft” ones are also good and have pockets.
Target is great for t-shirts and tanks, especially if you’re looking to branch beyond black (my maternity work uniform is black pants, solid scoopneck T, and blazer, so I’ve been leaning hard on their jewel-tone selection).
My other fave is a fitted sweater dress/tunic (Target, but like six years ago from back when it was Liz Lange maternity) that I wear with leggings. So I don’t have a specific rec but I really love how it can be dressed up or down, so I’d recommend looking for something along those lines. But in general I feel more comfortable in more “fitted” maternity clothes as opposed to the Hatch Maternity style caftans, so ymmv.
Anon says
Ha, I suggested hatch below because I prefer flowy!
Anonymous says
Good maternity jeans – Madewell or Paige were my favorites. And then a few comfy dresses from Target/ Seraphine that are also nursing-friendly.
Curious says
Or Envie de Fraise for pants. Plus one on Seraphine for dresses, though I would consider buying them on Poshmark as they’re super available.
Anon says
Going a little nicer since these are gift ideas:
– Lake maternity pajamas (LOVE)
– Isabella Oliver black dress for any nice occasions/work
– storq bike shorts and leggings
-hatch t shirts (I prefer swingy to fitted and those can be hard to find!)
– Paige jeans or any nice jeans really
– a couple things from hatch’s target collection although sizing is hit or miss
-if it’s your style, the ubiquitous nap dress can get you through a lot of pregnancy
Anonymous says
My favorite thing was the tie knot front seraphine dress. I wore it to work, wore it to a wedding, wore it more casually. Super pretty and flattering, got a ton of compliments too whenever I wore it.
ElisaR says
i loved seraphine. also, i bought some random stuff from threadup and it was great! used, but great!
Anon says
I liked H&M, Motherhood and Kindred Bravely. I actually had good results with a Stitch Fix maternity box too. It had some black Liverpool maternity jeans that I lived in for months. Towards the end I just wore maxi dresses from Motherhood because it was extremely hot here.
Curious says
Agree on liking my stitch fix box, though it was all pregnancy and not nursing wear so got less use than other items.
Anon says
Seraphine dresses were the only maternity clothes I owned that I didn’t hate. I have one I actually still wear.
DLC says
My husband gifted me a Rent the Runway subscription during my third pregnancy and I loved it. They have a decent maternity selection, (including Seraphine and maternity coats) and also a lot of things that were maternity friendly. It was just fun to wear things I would never buy in real life and really helped me feel less “blah” about being huge and ungainly.
Where do you buy cold weather gear for 12-24 mos? says
Our first child just turned one, and we need to start getting some true outerwear for her (mittens, puffy coat, snow pants, etc). I know I can ask Google but I trust you all more :)
What are your favorite sources? Bonus points for stuff that holds up fairly well – we plan on having additional children so I’ll save and pass-down anything that lasts.
Where do you buy cold weather gear for 12-24 mos? says
Oh, and in case it is relevant, she is tall (100th percentile) and 90th percentile for weight. I’ve figured out which brands work well for us for normal clothes, height-wise, but no clue about outerwear.
anon says
Check out https://www.ollieandstellaoutfitters.com/rainsuits for rainsuits. I just bought them for both kids, and both will be able to wear theirs again next year and should be able to pass down. They’re really well made (plus, they’re stinking adorable), lots of little helpful details like reflective tape and the strap on the bottom to keep from riding up, etc.
Anknaon says
Patagonia. Has gone through 4 cousins as hand me downs and still has a lot of life yet. Expensive but worth the cost.
Can search their worn wear site too.
Clementine says
Patagonia down coat with a hood. Buy it in a size up – my oldest wore a 4T coat for 3 full years (3,4, and 5) and it’s still useable by the next kid. I like the Hi-Loft Down Sweater Hooded Jacket. I buy mine in May and usually get a good discount.
Columbia has decent snowpants at a decent price.
Bogs boots are my favorite. Nordstrom rack has them at a discount.
LLBean ColdBuster mittens actually open so you can fit little hands into them and stay warm and dry.
I also highly suggest getting some type of a neck warmer to keep their face and cheeks warm.
Anonymous says
How cold does it get where you live? We’re in the mid-Atlantic so don’t like to spend a ton of money on snowpants that only get used between 0-5 times a year, so have been really happy with the pricepoint of the Cat&Jack ones. All of our Cat&Jack outerwear has actually held up really well despite being cheap–we have jackets that have been worn for 4 winters and still going strong.
Where do you buy cold weather gear for 12-24 mos? says
Just north of NYC
AwayEmily says
We live in a very snowy, cold area. My recs are: Patagonia down sweater hoodie for everyday wear, travel to and from daycare, etc — worth it because it’s super warm, lasts forever, and is carseat-safe. Buy a little big so you can layer under if necessary. Each kid also has a warmer parka that they keep at school (and we take home on weekends) — we usually get these used; I don’t think you need to spend a ton of money.
Snowstopper mittens (order direct from their website).
Hats that are fleece-lined and have earflaps (the non-earflap ones never keep my kids’ ears covered enough).
Snowpants for under four I think it’s fine to just get Target, but once they get older and start playing for hours we switch to LL Bean or something more waterproof.
So Anon says
How cold of cold weather gear do you need? If you are somewhere that it snows frequently, I highly recommend a one-piece snow suit from LLBean. The one-piece is pants, jacket and hood (though I recommend a different hat) all in one. I bought one in a gender neutral-ish color and both of my kids wore it. I second the patagonia coat (or similar llbean style) for everyday wear. They are warm and last forever.
Anonymous says
At that age, we really like a Columbia matching coat/snow pant set that we had. We also bought a coordinating hat and mittens.
EDAnon says
We get all ours from friends/second hand/Patagonia Worn Wear. That stuff is all in great condition for handing down. We have also passed it down (and on!.)
Pogo says
+1, we wear handed down Patagonia or LL Bean. I have also bought some new LL Bean and Land’s End when sizing didn’t line up for the hand me downs.
Anonymous says
Snozo jacket and snow pant combo from Costco. Cheap, surprisingly warm and well made, and held up for the second kid too.
ElisaR says
patagonia, they have crazy sales at the end of the season so you can buy for next winter. for snow pants, i had a pair of LL Bean handed down that were the best. they don’t seem to make the same ones anymore but obviously the quality was strong, i think they went through 3 cousins plus my 2 boys.
Anonymous says
Ebay! Set up a bunch of alerts for durable brands (Patagonia, Columbia, Polarn o Pyret) and then you’ll get emails of whatever fits your search criteria. Most of this stuff is worn for a couple months and is perfectly good for a lot longer. I sometimes bought snow boots that way, but usually pick up hats, gloves, socks and boots at sales.
Proper layering makes rain gear pretty useful for cold non-snow days (long underwear, fleece/flannel layer, rain gear). I like Polarn’s rain jackets with snap in fleeces.
I will say Zutano makes a great thumbless mitten for 1 year-olds. After that you’ll want a good pair of zip on snow mittens and a few pairs of cotton gloves (which are, sadly, sure to be lost and are nearly disposable. Target used to sell packs with 10 pairs in them). And you’ll need to know just how active your kid is — if yours is in the mud all day, think at least two good outer layers. If they’re in school and just need to be cozy and go play in mud on weekends, get a down jacket for the commute and a single outer layer for weekends.
Anonymous says
In the PNW so usually not colder than 30s – Columbia snow, rain, or fleece full body suit for that age.
Anon says
We don’t receive any handme downs so I ordered a bunch of new stuff. It pained me since he may grow out of it mid winter, and I didn’t want to size up since he’s already swimming in 12 month sixes (10 months and 40th for height and 20th for weight). We also live just north of NYC (so similar climate) and daycare sends them outside unless it is very very cold so I needed to get something warm (down), hopefully waterproof, and easy for them to put on everyday.
– old navy hats that go over the ear and Velcro under the chin
– Reima booties. Similar to Stonz but cheaper.
– Columbia down bunting. Could not stomach the cost for Patagonia or LLBean this time around. Not really a fan because after I got it, it doesn’t seem to thick, and the cuffs aren’t ribbed. I may return it.
– puffer and fleece zip up from primary (I got this heavily discounted early this year)
– fleece pants from Uniqlo.
Alanna of Trebond says
Reima! We got it in our finnish baby box and used it 1000 times.
Anon says
potty training help! one of my twins is having a major regression. yesterday she had 4 accidents! we potty trained last year around Thanksgiving. #2 has (knock on wood) never been a problem, but her undies are wet all the time. i try to get her to go to the potty, but sometimes she gets really mad and insists she doesn’t have to go. even when her undies are wet she insists that they aren’t sometimes. i think part of it might be that she seems to have to go a lot and she doesn’t want to stop what she is doing to go bc she has to go 2-3x more than other kids. any ideas? should i try some kind of sticker chart?
Anon says
When we have a regression we go bottomless and seems to right the ship after a day or two. Much like my dog who will never have an accident in her bed or where she primarily plays in the house, it would seem my 3.5 year old feels the same. She’s never once had any sort of accident directly on the floor except for the very early days of training.
To your last question, we also use M&M’s like currency. 2-3 for basically any action we’re trying to train her in to. I swore I’d never bribe my kid, but the pandemic is long, patience is short and we’re all just doing our best over here. Shrug. We hang them in baggies on a wall in the kitchen (above her reach) and so there’s a constant visual reminder of the reward. This coincides with a sticker chart, but the true motivation is the candy.
Anonymous says
Is there any possibility she is constipated? In my experience it can affect control as well as urge frequency for urination.
Anonymous says
Trigger warning: late miscarriage
I just lost a baby at 17 weeks. It was horrible and traumatic, but now I need to tell people that I am no longer pregnant. We had just started telling people a few weeks ago, as all of our genetic tests had come back normal.
Does anyone have an idea for a brief script I can use? I can’t talk about this without crying. But I thought if I had something short and prepared, it might be easier.
Anon says
I’m so sorry for your loss. Is there a close and sincere friend, sibling, or parent who could pass along the news to people who need to know? Doing it all yourself is so, so hard.
Anonymous says
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s completely ok to use text and/or email to let people know, and definitely enlist a close friend or family member to spread the news as needed.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I’m so, so sorry for your loss. Sending you love.
I agree this shouldn’t be on you.
anon says
I’m so sorry for your loss. I don’t have script suggestion for this specifically, but for any grief, loss, don’t feel obligated to give details, feel free to text/email or have someone do it for you, and do tell peole what you need to the extent you know. “I’m not ready to talk much about this difficult loss yet, so please understand if I don’t answer back for a while” or “So-and-so is organizing some meals, which has been so kind.” (hint hint). It’ll give you and them permission to set whatever boundaries you need. And if you DO feel ready to talk, let your close friends know. I have found with grief most crappy behavior is more about people misreading/not knowing what to do. If you need to talk, tell that friend “I could use a phone call – maybe tomorrow night?” or if you need a distraction, tell them please tell you their dating drama or whatever, and give them permission to talk about other things. For work folks, I’d keep it brief and tell them how long you expect to be out, and if you expect that they’ll relay this to clients for you or not so that you are not surprised one way or the other (that’s totally up to you/whatever is eaiser for you).
Anonymous says
I’m so sorry for your loss. I agree with the advice above to tell people over text/email if that feels better to you. I think it’s completely fine to tell them in person if you prefer, but you may get all kinds of reactions as people figure out what to say (all the stuff you’re *not* supposed to say to someone after a loss…). I think saying something like, “I have some sad news to share. Unfortunately, I had a miscarriage last week. While I am recovering physically, I am devastated. I’m so glad I got to be happy with you about this pregnancy when I first told you about it, and I appreciate your support now. I am not up for talking right now, but would love text/email check ins as I’m going through this and I’ll respond when I am able.”
As for telling at work, can you ask a close colleague to share the news around? Either on a need-to-know basis or a simple, “death in the family” fyi-type email.
I also wanted to say that it’s obviously very ok to cry when you talk about this and I don’t think anyone would be taken aback. I think email/text is a fine option, but if telling someone in person and crying feels right to you, by all means. *hugs*
Anonymous says
Oh gosh, that is just awful and I’m so sorry for your loss. We had close friends lose a baby at 18 weeks. Her husband contacted everyone on her behalf via text. Something really short like “Jane just went into surgery as we have lost our baby. We are devastated and appreciate your support at this time”.
Anonymous says
I am so sorry for the loss of your child. I lost twins at 20 weeks. I was fortunate that a friend took on the task of telling everyone – because it is not your job. It was probably a year before I could say something about the situation without crying. Honestly, it’s been five years and I still cry about it.
Also, please if at all possible take time for yourself. You need the time to regroup and recover. At first I felt that I should go back after a week. My doctor told me that I should take 6 weeks. I compromised on 4, but I really should have taken more time.
You will need a sentence to say for the random people who didn’t get the message – but this should be something that happens months from now. Not soon. For now you need to be surrounded by people who know and who are supporting you. Because we (as a society) don’t talk about miscarriage and infant loss, the expectation is largely that a miscarriage is not a big deal and you should just buckle down and get over it. I call BS on that. It is a big deal. And I am so sorry for your loss. I found it helpful to talk to other moms that experienced losses similar to mine. Ask your hospital and OB/GYN and they should hopefully have some resources.
anon says
I’m so very sorry for your loss. This has happened to two co-workers of mine in the past couple of years (neither was a close friend), and in both cases, one of their close friends in the office informed everyone of the sad news and passed along the fact that neither woman wanted to talk about it/be contacted with condolences because it was too painful. I think the script for one was something like “Mary and her husband just lost their baby and are devastated. They appreciate all your kind thoughts and condolences but wish to grieve in private at this time. They will let you know if they need anything.”
Anon says
+1, although they may need to be specific about reaching out. “Mary has indicated she prefers to use work as distraction, so please don’t reach out to her at this time. I’ll keep you posted myself if/ when she’s up to talking about it at work.”
If you need to say something yourself, it’s okay to be short and a little blunt. “We lost the baby. I can’t really talk about it yet and I’m using work as my distraction. So how about that TPS report?”
Pogo says
+1 have someone else spread the news. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
Anonymous says
I am sorry for your loss, internet friend. I had two miscarriages and found it to be easier to text people. You’ve gotten good scripts and advice here, but I didn’t want to keep on scrolling. Hugs.
Spirograph says
I don’t have anything to add to the good suggestions already here, just wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss and send some more internet love your way.
anon says
What do people think about music lessons? My 8 yo has been taking piano lessons for about 6 months, is making really good progress and often seems to enjoy it. She’s proud of what she’s learned so far and gets excited about new songs and praise from her teacher. But when it’s time to practice, she’ll complain endlessly that she hates it and wants to quit. When she makes mistakes during practice she storms away and gets mad. We keep talking about mistakes happen when you’re learning something new and you’ll are getting better every day, but it is incredibly draining as the parent overseeing the daily practice sessions.
I don’t want to scar her or be a tiger parent, but I do think it’s good for her to work on something challenging and see that she can make progress by practicing regularly. Any suggestions for making practice go more smoothly? When do you pull the plug and just decide that the daily conflict over practicing isn’t worth it?
Anon says
ok, so my kids are younger, but presumably the natural consequence of her not practicing piano would be that she isn’t prepared for her next lesson? is there a way for you to contact the teacher and explain that you want to let kiddo be somewhat self motivated to practice (like i realize she is only 8, so maybe you get her started, but if she stops after 5 minutes, it is her choice…) and so ask teacher to make a big deal when she seems more/less prepared? someone posted yesterday about their 4 year old getting frustrated putting on a coat. resilience in kids seems to be very hard to learn. my bff was telling me that her son loves soccer and is pretty good and happy to play as long as his team is winning. at the last game when his team was losing he threw a huge tantrum on the sidelines and refused to play again.
Anon says
As a now adult who leaned an instrument (French horn) starting at 8 and played through grad school (sadly had to stop at age 28 as it was too hard to be an orchestra member while working a demanding job) I used to act like this. My mom had to remind me to practice (and threaten me with a punishment when I refused) until I was in high school when I didn’t need any adult prompting. I loved music and was a very talented musician (made it to all state, always sat first chair, etc) but kids are kids and need help building good habits! Honestly I’m so thankful my mom was strict about it because it installed life long good habits of hard work, dedication and grit. My parents never forced the instrument on me but the rule was that if they were paying for private lessons I had to practice 6 days per week.
I’m terms of making it go more smoothly, I think you just need to let her be frustrated and figure it out on her own. Problem solving :) if she’s having trouble with a particular piece, suggest she play things that are easier for a bit and come back to the hard stuff. It can also be helpful at that age to break up practice sessions into smaller units of time.
anon says
Shorten the practice sessions. At 8, I think I insisted on 20 minutes a day, and very often 2 10 minute sessions. And if she storms away/gets mad, that session is done and sometimes I’ll have her add a few minutes and sometimes I won’t. (My older son practiced 30-45 min/day at age 8, but he was of a different temperament and also enjoys practicing/playing basically all the time. This did not work for DD.)
DLC says
My nine year old has been playing piano for about two years now and I see a lot of the same behavior. I set the bar pretty low: fifteen to twenty minutes a day. She doesn’t get screen time if she doesn’t practice. We’ve had good luck practicing in the morning before school, using with a kitchen timer. I think have a set time is helpful for us. I will remind her that it’s a good time to practice, but i never tell her or force her to practice. We’ve gotten to a point where 2/7 days a week she will just sit down and practice on her own without my saying anything.
I ignore the tantrums, and try not to be in the room when she is practicing. (I was a music major and if I let myself get too involved, I get frustrated and annoyed). If she’s really struggling she can ask me for help, but if she yells or has a tantrum, I will walk away and she needs to figure it out herself.
I will say, it takes my kid about three weeks to go from “I HATE THIS PIECE I CANT FIGURE OUT THE FINGERING THIS SUCKS I HATE PIANO!!!!!!” To “Hey, I’ve figured it out, listen to this!” For every single phrase of music.
anon says
Ha! We have that same emotional rhythm–every new song is the “worst thing ever and I’ll never learn to play it” for a few days, but then she learns it and it’s suddenly easy and she can’t wait to show it off. It’s good to know it’s not just my kid.
I can’t wait for her to have the ability to internalize the pattern and to regulate her own emotions about a new song. Things dreams are made of!!
Anonymous says
My 8 year old just started piano. She gets a piece of halloween candy every time she practices.
She is highly motivated by this and has made a decent dent in our supply over the past two weeks.
Beyond straight up bribery, I also:
(1) practice when I know she’s home and can hear me mess up (I’m terrible so not intimidating!)
(2) tell her how awesome she sounds when she gets it right
TheElms says
When is a good age to start music lessons, likely piano? I didn’t start until I was 11 and always felt behind my peers and embarrassed that I could only play simple songs. It seems like a lot of folks start around 6-8 years old (obviously there is a bit of know your kid to factor in). I can’t imagine starting before 5, but I suspect some people do. Are there advantages/disadvantages to starting earlier or later? (My kid is only 2.5, but does seem somewhat musically inclined. She can sing whole songs and has a xylophone and tries to copy songs when I play them for her. I’m going to get her a set of color-coded tap bells for Christmas I think.)
Anonymous says
2.5 is not too young to start a high-quality early childhood music course such as Musikgarten. Look for something that teaches solfege (do re mi fa sol etc.). I wouldn’t start piano lessons before K or grade 1. For the first year, a good piano class can be less intimidating than private lessons for little ones.
For general music literacy and the most options later on, I’d start with piano instruction that incorporates a little ear training and sight-singing/solfege. Also, if you think your child may have the genetic tendency towards perfect pitch, studying a fixed-pitch instrument such as piano is the best way to develop that skill.
Anonymous says
If you are interested in starting early, check out the Suzuki method. There are strong opinions about it (both ways) in the music pedagogy community, but it worked well for me starting at 5, which is actually on the later side for Suzuki. I also showed a lot of aptitude for music at a young age, and Suzuki is based on ear training and “naturally” acquiring musical skill the way kids learn language through repeated exposure and by mimicking, so it was a good fit. Traditional lessons are usually start at 7 or later, when kids know how to read and have a bit more attention span for focused study.
Anonymous says
Short practice sessions are key, even as short as 10 minutes per day. I’d also ask the teacher to write out a very detailed practice plan so she isn’t trying to thump through entire songs from beginning to end. For example, “Tuesday: Play measures 8 – 16 five times at half tempo, then play at full speed. Play run in measure 22 five times with dotted eighth-sixteenth rhythm, then five times with sixteenth-dotted eighth rhythm, then five times as written at half tempo.” Even if you have a degree in music performance (raises hand), your child will refuse to listen to you if you try to explain how to practice. It has to come from the teacher and be very specific at first.
Some lack of frustration tolerance is normal at this age, but if it’s extreme and appears with other activities, anxiety might be a possibility. Just something to keep an eye on.
anon says
Thanks for all the replies! Thus far my policy has been that she needs to play each of her assigned pieces 3 times per day. She can break this up as she prefers, but three good runs. Right now her pieces are still pretty easy, so she can knock out all of her practicing in 10 minutes if she just sits and plays. Many days it takes her more like 30-45 minutes with all her belly aching.
anon at 2:45 says
So actually, as a musician and as a parent whose kid studied piano for years I’d discourage this style of practice. It is counterproductive to encourage her to try to get through each piece as a whole every day. She needs to learn to break the piece down, methodically work out the parts (“woodshedding”), and then put them back together. This method of practicing builds success and confidence, whereas banging through the piece repeatedly without actually practicing the challenging bits tears down confidence. I will usually sight-read a new piece once through, then work sections and slowly start putting them together into bigger sections. Depending on the difficulty of the piece it may be days or weeks before I try playing a movement straight through again after the initial sight-read. This is also how every conductor I’ve ever worked with has taught.
Spirograph says
This
Spirograph says
My kids have only just started piano, so we haven’t gotten to the battles yet… But from the standpoint of a former reluctant practicer who now pays for her own piano lessons: if she likes *playing* even if she doesn’t like practicing, I’d stick with it. Set a timer, tell her she needs to stay at the piano for 10-15 min, and leave her to spend that time how she sees fit. Don’t make her do x number of scales or play the same line y number of times. Also, ask the teacher for practice strategies. Any playing is practicing at that stage, but there are ways to gamify and make it less of a slog– jazz up the rhythms, play the notes backwards, etc.
FWIW, my mom basically decreed I needed to stick with piano lessons until I finished 6th grade. By then, I was hooked.
Lilibet says
You all have such good gift ideas so I am posting for responses. My 5 year old son has been superhero obsessed from a young age and he’s now extended that to protecting the earth and animals (thanks Wild Kratts). I’d love to encourage this conservation direction and he has a birthday/holidays coming up. Ideas?
Anon says
all i can say is that this made me thing of the show i used to watch as a kid called Captain Planet. other than that, magazine subscription to something like national geographic? near us we have a nature conservancy with all sorts of classes for kids
CCLA says
Ha, same. Cue the Captain Planet song!
Anon says
Nostalgia moment: My favorite halloween costume ever… I was about 21 and my friends and I went as the Planeteers.
I’d like you to picture us out in the bars and anytime somebody would say ‘Wait, are you the guys from Captain Planet,’ the appropriate response was for each of us to shriek our powers from across the bar, holding up our rings. (IYKYK)
anon says
My kids love using the composter and filling it with leaves and such – if you don’t already have one, would that be a weird gift?!
Lilibet says
This kid could dig in the dirt for hours so a composter is not weird! We are planning to do something with our front yard, he’d enjoy picking out some plants, and I like this explore kit idea. Thanks all.
Pogo says
Even better, we got a worm composter and the worms are a low key pet. I don’t let him take them out of the composter, but he likes to help feed them and check on them to make sure they have enough moisture.
SC says
My son received a set of outdoors stuff for kids a couple of years ago. The set included a little pack, some binoculars, a magnifying glass, and a compass. I don’t see exactly what he received online, but you could put together something like that. At one point, we also had a book on searching for/identifying bugs (you could do birds instead).
You can also “adopt an animal” through the WWF and get a small stuffed animal with it, plus information about the animal. WWF’s website also has stuff like tshirts, socks, masks, birdhouses, reusable straws.
anon says
Maybe try an ant farm? It’s a hit in our house.
In the spring it’s fun to watch butterflies emerge–you can get a kit online.
We also built a terrarium.
You didn’t ask this, but after my kids finished with Wild Kratts they got very into the show Operation Ouch, which teaches you how your body works. It’s really good kid TV, IMO. It’s on Netflix and YouTube.
SC says
+1 to Operation Ouch! I loved that show!
Walnut says
My local botanical garden and university extension office (usually associated with 4-H) have lots of classes, seminars, gardens, etc that have a focus on conservation. Perhaps a membership and registering your kiddo for a class or camp would help foster this interest? You might also go to a nursery and empower your five year old to ask about plants that are native to your area and are good for the birds, bees, and bugs. Buy some plants and plant them in your yard together.
ElisaR says
ok this is not at all conservation themed….. but my 5 year old was similarly obsessed with wild kratts. for his birhtday he he received 2 wild kratts vests and gloves with creature power disks to swap out….. it inspired the cutest most imaginative play for months. also, etsy has cool komodo dragon t-shirts.
Anonymous says
I was going to suggest the vests and creature power disks! For my Wild Kratts-obsessed nephew I also found a hooded sweatshirt that looked like a creature suit in creature mode (some kind of bird) on Amazon. It was super cool.
ElisaR says
ooh i need to find this!
Anonymous says
Just checked and the manufacturer is Doodle Pants. They have all different creatures!
Lilibet says
Yeah, feeling like these vests may need to happen!
Anon. says
We have a set of Wild Kratts action figures that get lots of play. Wild Kratts is by far my kid’s favorite show.
DLC says
Check out the book Plasticus Maritimus. It’s a beautifully illustrated book about the devastating effect of plastic in the ocean. It might be a little bit geared for older kids, but it has some really solid ideas of actionable things.
Cb says
Oof, some A+ parenting today, kiddo asked the public health nurse if he could have a flu jab instead of the nasal spray and she was looking at me like WTF? Had to bribe him with a trip to the bookshop to get him to remove his hands from his nose!
I realise that they do the nasal vaccine so they can administer them in schools easily, but he HATES stuff up his nose.
EDAnon says
Ha my kid begged for the nasal because he HATES shots. But they didn’t have it when we went in. I would have traded you in a heartbeat!
Cb says
He did tell the nurse “you were much better at it than my mummy with the saline spray!”
Pogo says
I think I’m also Team Shot over nasal spray. Yuck.
Anonymous says
Yeah, even if I were eligible for the nasal spray I’d choose the shot over breathing in viral particles and having all of the immune response concentrated in my respiratory tract. And I’m afraid of needles.
Anon says
I’m also team shot. I haaaaate having things sprayed up my nose.
Anonymous says
I’d much rather hold my kid down for a shot in the arm or leg that try to hold their head still for a nasal spray.
laundress says
The comments about laundry earlier this week got me thinking – at what age do you expect your kids to start doing laundry? Reading everyone’s laundry strategies was overwhelming to me in how complicated it is in some houses.
We have a hamper that has 4 sections. They are assigned from oldest to youngest (kids are 11 and 9). Everyone is expected to keep up with their own laundry – when the hamper is full, wash/dry and put away the load. We have four laundry baskets for hauling the clean stuff back to the bedrooms.
It’s not perfect and we all try to pitch in to help each other i.e. switch a load from washer to dryer if we’re walking past or remind kid to get her clothes out of the dryer when it beeps because she doesn’t like wrinkles).
Sometimes towels go in with clothes, sometimes there is enough for a full load and husband usually does that one, but youngest kid always has to fold/put towels away. This system has worked since kids were 5 – Nanny did their laundry before that.
Since we’re all busy, I’d encourage delegating kids laundry to kids. It will take a few times of them having to wear something they don’t like or being mad that favorite sweatshirt is sitting in the washing machine but there really isn’t a significant drawback that I’ve found. (also, they won’t be the kid standing in the laundry room at college wondering what all those buttons do!)
Cb says
Thanks for posting, I was curious about that. My son is 4 and he will help me put things in the washing machine and move things over. And he puts his clothes in the hamper, but we have a front loader, it probably won’t be ages until he could manage it.
We’ll have uniforms from next year which seems to add a degree of urgency to laundry.
SC says
My kid is 6, and we’ll probably get him started on folding laundry within a year or two. DH and I are not the best at keeping up with changing laundry over, and if we made Kiddo responsible for washing his own, we’d have to make sure the washer and drier were clear… which is not always convenient. Folding and putting away is the part that never seems to get done anyways.
Anon says
Agree kids should be responsible for laundry early. We give my 3.5 year old a bag of her clean laundry and she puts it in drawers (with minimal folding). She loves sorting things and putting things in drawers so it’s basically like a game for her and it actually saves us quite a bit of time. In the last month or so we have started trying to teach her how to use the machines but that is a very hands-on activity for the supervising parent and doesn’t save us time.
avocado says
I started doing my own laundry in seventh grade and had a similar plan for my kid, but our washer takes an hour per load as opposed to the 30 minutes that it used to take in the pre-HE days. If I made her do her own laundry instead of combining it with mine and her dad’s, the washer would be running 24/7. She knows how to use the washer, though, and will have to do her own laundry at summer programs now that those are back.
Anon says
Mine are 4 and not capable of carrying laundry up and down the two flights of stairs to the basement so usually we just put it in for them, but it is their responsibility to a) tell us when they’re out of clean underwear and thus need laundry to be done and b) put everything away. Thanks for the reminder that we should get them more involved in loading and starting the machines, though!
Anonymous says
My kids are 3 5 and 8. Our W&D is stacked so only the 8 year old can really do a full load of laundry and take it out of the dryer because the others can’t reach.
The 5 and 8 year old do a TON of folding and put it all away. The 3 year old helps sort socks and folds washcloths and towels.
Anonymous says
I suspect the real time-saver in this story was the nanny, probably not so much the 5-year-olds doing their own laundry. 9- and 11-year-olds, yeah, they can actually do it without adult involvement.
Anon says
She said the nanny stopped doing it when they were 5.
Anonymous says
I really doubt that the 5-year-olds were doing it without help.
Anonymous says
I think about age 10 was when I was expected to do my own laundry on spring break and summer vacation. During the school year I was expected to help with laundry. Helping with laundry (folding, putting away my clothes, helping sort) began when I was probably six or seven.
PetiteMom says
Any suggestions for making new mom friends? One of our friend moms (neighbor) is no longer seeking hanging out with us. She is a stay at home mom and understandably she is now friends with another stay at home mom. Which kind of hurts me but I need to move on. Halloween is approaching and my son basically has no kids to go trick or treating with. Which made me realize we don’t have a lot of friends with kids. So where do I even start? I really crave this type of friendships with moms who have kids. The kids play and the moms chat and that is my relaxing time.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Is he in daycare? We’ve made friends with our older kid’s friends’ parents and one set in particular is great to hang out with and our kids are close friends so far. Once they’re in school, I imagine birthday parties and sports are where you meet your kids’ friends’ parents, although we haven’t had this yet (but also, Covid.)
Anonymous says
How old is your son? It’s okay to not trick or treat with friends. We trick or treat with our next door neighbours but it was a new idea for me. I grew up with my dad taking me and my sister around the block while mom gave treats at the door.
Anon says
How old is your son? My almost 4 year old is trick or treating (for the first time) with just us, which I don’t think is that unusual or horrifying. We debated asking her daycare bestie who lives in our neighborhood to join us, but with Covid it seemed simpler to just go alone. Her daycare normally has a big Halloween event that hasn’t happened the last two years – hopefully with kids getting vaccines that will return in 2022.
I get wanting mom friends for yourself, but I wouldn’t worry too much about your son. I don’t have any mom friends locally (a combination of me being a socially anxious introvert, Covid, and the fact that we’re progressives in MAGA territory so outside of our university daycare we don’t meet many families who share our values) and it doesn’t seem to have hurt my kid, who makes friends just fine at school.
To answer your question about where people meet, I think a lot of people make friends at the playground or kid activities (either formal or informally things like library storytimes), but I’ve never been able to do that. Even with other daycare parents we see fairly regularly, it’s been hard to get past the friendly acquaintance stage. I reached out to a local progressive moms group about joining them but the ‘audition’ (a meetup at a playground) was kind of a disaster because my kid didn’t want to leave my side so I didn’t really get to talk to many people and the few people I talked to seemed kind of judgy about the fact that I have a full time job. I never heard from them again after that. I think a lot of SAHMs prefer to socialize with SAHMs and working moms are generally so busy that they’re often not really looking to make new friends. I’ve heard it gets easier to meet other moms in elementary school, but I also heard that it got easier in daycare and that proved not to be true. Although Covid may be at least partially to blame for that.
FVNC says
We move frequently because of my husband’s job, so unfortunately I have experience with this. It’s hard. What I’ve learned is to be aggressive about initiating contact. In covid times, when I’m no longer meeting parents at daycare events, this means I send notes with my name and contact info that the teachers are happy to pass on to other parents. My elementary-school aged daughter’s current school blessedly has a parent directly and I’ve used that to email parents that she’s asked to have playdates with. A few times, we’ve happened to be at local playgrounds where my kids run into kids they know, so I chat with the other parents and I do not leave the conversation without exchanging numbers. Then the key is follow-up. Schedule a playdate or whatever; just get something on the calendar. The results are similar to what online dating is probably like — of the many, many info exchanges, a handful have developed into friendly acquaintance status, and exactly two have developed into what I’d consider friendships. But, that’s two more friends than I’d have had without initiating!
Anon says
+1 I think it’s a LOT like online dating (caveat that I never actually did online dating, but lots of friends have). Along the same lines, you shouldn’t take rejection personally. It’s likely not about either you or your kids. A lot of people just aren’t that interested in playdates (people have straight up said to me “sorry, our family doesn’t do playdates”) or will accept invites enthusiastically but never initiate. I’ve been surprised by how many people seem so happy and excited when we invite them, but never invite us anywhere.
Anonymous says
Agree. I have 3 kids and they have friends with moms of all ages. I “mom dated” a lot of people and finally found a match. Conveniently, her husband and mine share a hobby, and her kids play well with mine. Our 1st graders are friends (and how we met), but my old 3rd grader gets along very well with her young 5th grader and the two older girls play with my 3 year old.
I have moms where our kids are friends, or moms I like whose kids are not the same ages of mine. And all those are great but when it’s time to sit in the yard with a glass of wine or plan an elaborate meal or attempt a co-vacation, this gal is my default.
Interestingly, DH has become good “dad friends” with another dad in town whose kids are exactly the ages of mine. The mom and I chat and happily sip poolside cocktails but we just haven’t clicked like the dads did.
ElisaR says
low stakes question: any recommendations for dress shoes for work that have a wedge. over the years i have accumulated a couple pairs from tory burch and cole haan, but they have been resoled and are nearing replacement….. i have looked online but can’t find something that isn’t terribly frumpy. any recommendations?
Anon says
I took my 3.5 year old to an art museum today and nobody cried! It’s really fun having a kid who is old enough to do things that aren’t officially for kids.